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In a * shock * announcement this evening, Rockstar have revealed that GTA: Vice City was merely an elaborate ploy to divert the pestering phone calls of eager journos. Miami? pah! 1980s? tish! The new GTA game will be set amongst the lager drenched beaches of the Costa Del Sol. Spread between the resorts of Marbella, Ibiza and Benidorm, the player must engage in all kinds of holiday-crime capers.
Replacing the gangsters of old, 'GTA:CDS' will feature various tourist/local tribes all thwarting you along your way: unreasonably aggressive Brit-hooligans with red, bald heads and shirts smattered with sick; Angry Spanish locals with brooms and mopeds; Lunatic, gurning bug-eyed clubbers from Ibiza... and so on.
One of the early missions requires you to take on the pragmatic, and very specific, German holiday-makers. You must steal a horde of towels from the laundry of a hotel, then lay them around the swimming pool before the Germans get there... then you'll be able to rent them out to some deliciously bronzed French 20-somethings later in the day.
You'll be able to forge alliances too. Local perma-tanned moustachioed 'family-cabaret-entertainers' with pink shirts, medallions and mullets will be able to offer you tips around the resorts. Work you way up, and you could be side-by-side with top-name Balearic DJs running a disco-biscuit factory inside the superclubs.
Finally you will have to penetrate the Eastend gangland ex-pat community in Marbella. With stolen jags, dodgy casinos and Ray Winstone/Frank Butcher types sporting jewel-encrusted aviators, this is where the dough's at. You can even get yourself a PHAT yacht in the marina.
Of course, the characteristic vehicle stealing malarkey remains crucial. Speedboats, Jetskis, mopeds, mini-mokes, EasyJet 'planes, golf-carts, taxis and other cars are all up for grabs. The emergency services are there, but they're a bit different. The police take much longer to react, but when they do, they get very very very angry indeed. Ambulance drivers will take you to the hospital, but if you're not insured, then your health won't be restored. And the firemen are asleep.
The game will be available duty-free at selected airports throughout the summer holiday season.
PS That was all a big lie
Replacing the gangsters of old, 'GTA:CDS' will feature various tourist/local tribes all thwarting you along your way: unreasonably aggressive Brit-hooligans with red, bald heads and shirts smattered with sick; Angry Spanish locals with brooms and mopeds; Lunatic, gurning bug-eyed clubbers from Ibiza... and so on.
One of the early missions requires you to take on the pragmatic, and very specific, German holiday-makers. You must steal a horde of towels from the laundry of a hotel, then lay them around the swimming pool before the Germans get there... then you'll be able to rent them out to some deliciously bronzed French 20-somethings later in the day.
You'll be able to forge alliances too. Local perma-tanned moustachioed 'family-cabaret-entertainers' with pink shirts, medallions and mullets will be able to offer you tips around the resorts. Work you way up, and you could be side-by-side with top-name Balearic DJs running a disco-biscuit factory inside the superclubs.
Finally you will have to penetrate the Eastend gangland ex-pat community in Marbella. With stolen jags, dodgy casinos and Ray Winstone/Frank Butcher types sporting jewel-encrusted aviators, this is where the dough's at. You can even get yourself a PHAT yacht in the marina.
Of course, the characteristic vehicle stealing malarkey remains crucial. Speedboats, Jetskis, mopeds, mini-mokes, EasyJet 'planes, golf-carts, taxis and other cars are all up for grabs. The emergency services are there, but they're a bit different. The police take much longer to react, but when they do, they get very very very angry indeed. Ambulance drivers will take you to the hospital, but if you're not insured, then your health won't be restored. And the firemen are asleep.
The game will be available duty-free at selected airports throughout the summer holiday season.
PS That was all a big lie
Cheers RM, unfortunately I don't really use MSN, except for work-related things...
illzen wrote:
> PS That was all a big lie
Really? Shoot! Sounded interesting...
Entertaining post illzen.
:D
(You on MSN?)
> PS That was all a big lie
Really? Shoot! Sounded interesting...
Entertaining post illzen.
:D
(You on MSN?)
In a * shock * announcement this evening, Rockstar have revealed that GTA: Vice City was merely an elaborate ploy to divert the pestering phone calls of eager journos. Miami? pah! 1980s? tish! The new GTA game will be set amongst the lager drenched beaches of the Costa Del Sol. Spread between the resorts of Marbella, Ibiza and Benidorm, the player must engage in all kinds of holiday-crime capers.
Replacing the gangsters of old, 'GTA:CDS' will feature various tourist/local tribes all thwarting you along your way: unreasonably aggressive Brit-hooligans with red, bald heads and shirts smattered with sick; Angry Spanish locals with brooms and mopeds; Lunatic, gurning bug-eyed clubbers from Ibiza... and so on.
One of the early missions requires you to take on the pragmatic, and very specific, German holiday-makers. You must steal a horde of towels from the laundry of a hotel, then lay them around the swimming pool before the Germans get there... then you'll be able to rent them out to some deliciously bronzed French 20-somethings later in the day.
You'll be able to forge alliances too. Local perma-tanned moustachioed 'family-cabaret-entertainers' with pink shirts, medallions and mullets will be able to offer you tips around the resorts. Work you way up, and you could be side-by-side with top-name Balearic DJs running a disco-biscuit factory inside the superclubs.
Finally you will have to penetrate the Eastend gangland ex-pat community in Marbella. With stolen jags, dodgy casinos and Ray Winstone/Frank Butcher types sporting jewel-encrusted aviators, this is where the dough's at. You can even get yourself a PHAT yacht in the marina.
Of course, the characteristic vehicle stealing malarkey remains crucial. Speedboats, Jetskis, mopeds, mini-mokes, EasyJet 'planes, golf-carts, taxis and other cars are all up for grabs. The emergency services are there, but they're a bit different. The police take much longer to react, but when they do, they get very very very angry indeed. Ambulance drivers will take you to the hospital, but if you're not insured, then your health won't be restored. And the firemen are asleep.
The game will be available duty-free at selected airports throughout the summer holiday season.
PS That was all a big lie
Replacing the gangsters of old, 'GTA:CDS' will feature various tourist/local tribes all thwarting you along your way: unreasonably aggressive Brit-hooligans with red, bald heads and shirts smattered with sick; Angry Spanish locals with brooms and mopeds; Lunatic, gurning bug-eyed clubbers from Ibiza... and so on.
One of the early missions requires you to take on the pragmatic, and very specific, German holiday-makers. You must steal a horde of towels from the laundry of a hotel, then lay them around the swimming pool before the Germans get there... then you'll be able to rent them out to some deliciously bronzed French 20-somethings later in the day.
You'll be able to forge alliances too. Local perma-tanned moustachioed 'family-cabaret-entertainers' with pink shirts, medallions and mullets will be able to offer you tips around the resorts. Work you way up, and you could be side-by-side with top-name Balearic DJs running a disco-biscuit factory inside the superclubs.
Finally you will have to penetrate the Eastend gangland ex-pat community in Marbella. With stolen jags, dodgy casinos and Ray Winstone/Frank Butcher types sporting jewel-encrusted aviators, this is where the dough's at. You can even get yourself a PHAT yacht in the marina.
Of course, the characteristic vehicle stealing malarkey remains crucial. Speedboats, Jetskis, mopeds, mini-mokes, EasyJet 'planes, golf-carts, taxis and other cars are all up for grabs. The emergency services are there, but they're a bit different. The police take much longer to react, but when they do, they get very very very angry indeed. Ambulance drivers will take you to the hospital, but if you're not insured, then your health won't be restored. And the firemen are asleep.
The game will be available duty-free at selected airports throughout the summer holiday season.
PS That was all a big lie