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This report came from the latest issue to the football magazine Three-Three-One (formally known as Four-Four-Two):
UEFA and FIFA have jointly issued radical plans to reduce the amount of players on a football team to Seven.
An UEFA spokes-non gender specific enthused, “In order to allow a game to be officiated properly we have decided to reduce the number of players. That way the referees will have more of the pitch in which to manoeuvre into, I mean cover and they should be able to make less errors due to the reduced amount of players running about and the like (headless chickens if they are the England team-the editor)”.
Even more controversial is the proposed introduction of Robo-refs: the future of law enforcement. The FIFA official delegated to provide comment, through a fair and democratic process that didn’t involve any cruelty to animals, orated “ It is time we removed human error from the game. By using Robo-refs (Robotic Chassis driven by the brain of a recently “retired” ex-footballer- the editor) we can ensure that no one will be in a position to criticise them again. These 12 foot wheel-based monstrosities, fully armed and operational, have come through a series of tests that prove their operational worth”.
However an earlier model, the Ellery 209, recently caused havoc when an innocent board member was blasted to pieces by the 209’s duel “Officiator cannons” in a demonstration that went so terribly awfully wrong. A fellow board member, who asked not to be named (you forgot to get his name didn’t you- the Editor), sickened,
“ It was horrific. One minute the Desmond was simulating a dive and the next, the 209 was blowing his knee-caps off, for his repeated rolling around the floor like he’d just been shot, which obviously he had. This continued for some time until a quick thinking person mimicked the sound of a ref’s whistle at full-time”.
This trend to implement technology into football seems to show no signs of abating. The integration of Compu-tators (micro-chip commentators) is not far off. One embarrassing incident arose, however, when a compu-tator talked utter drivel throughout a specially arranged practise game, making observations that had no bearing on the actual proceedings taking place on the pitch and often used phrases that made no grammatical, metaphorical or logical sense.
It was later revealed that Big Ron Atkinson had snuck into the studio disguised in a cardboard box covered in tin-foil. He would have escaped with his subterfuge intact but an eagle-eyed hawk fancier who was working at the stadium, spotted that he’d (Big Ron) somehow managed to spell PC incorrectly and emblazoned it on his “mainframe” in Red Biro.
UEFA and FIFA have jointly issued radical plans to reduce the amount of players on a football team to Seven.
An UEFA spokes-non gender specific enthused, “In order to allow a game to be officiated properly we have decided to reduce the number of players. That way the referees will have more of the pitch in which to manoeuvre into, I mean cover and they should be able to make less errors due to the reduced amount of players running about and the like (headless chickens if they are the England team-the editor)”.
Even more controversial is the proposed introduction of Robo-refs: the future of law enforcement. The FIFA official delegated to provide comment, through a fair and democratic process that didn’t involve any cruelty to animals, orated “ It is time we removed human error from the game. By using Robo-refs (Robotic Chassis driven by the brain of a recently “retired” ex-footballer- the editor) we can ensure that no one will be in a position to criticise them again. These 12 foot wheel-based monstrosities, fully armed and operational, have come through a series of tests that prove their operational worth”.
However an earlier model, the Ellery 209, recently caused havoc when an innocent board member was blasted to pieces by the 209’s duel “Officiator cannons” in a demonstration that went so terribly awfully wrong. A fellow board member, who asked not to be named (you forgot to get his name didn’t you- the Editor), sickened,
“ It was horrific. One minute the Desmond was simulating a dive and the next, the 209 was blowing his knee-caps off, for his repeated rolling around the floor like he’d just been shot, which obviously he had. This continued for some time until a quick thinking person mimicked the sound of a ref’s whistle at full-time”.
This trend to implement technology into football seems to show no signs of abating. The integration of Compu-tators (micro-chip commentators) is not far off. One embarrassing incident arose, however, when a compu-tator talked utter drivel throughout a specially arranged practise game, making observations that had no bearing on the actual proceedings taking place on the pitch and often used phrases that made no grammatical, metaphorical or logical sense.
It was later revealed that Big Ron Atkinson had snuck into the studio disguised in a cardboard box covered in tin-foil. He would have escaped with his subterfuge intact but an eagle-eyed hawk fancier who was working at the stadium, spotted that he’d (Big Ron) somehow managed to spell PC incorrectly and emblazoned it on his “mainframe” in Red Biro.
Goalies only stop players from scoring (except Seaman of course). That's why they have removed them from the game....
Something tells me that this is wrong because:-
1. There has been no mention of this in the papers or on the news.
2. 3+3+1=7 which is a formation? so this would mean no Goalkeeper?
3. Can't find anything on this on the internet and I can't even find this magazine.
1. There has been no mention of this in the papers or on the news.
2. 3+3+1=7 which is a formation? so this would mean no Goalkeeper?
3. Can't find anything on this on the internet and I can't even find this magazine.
No. You should here the plans for the size of the goals.
This report came from the latest issue to the football magazine Three-Three-One (formally known as Four-Four-Two):
UEFA and FIFA have jointly issued radical plans to reduce the amount of players on a football team to Seven.
An UEFA spokes-non gender specific enthused, “In order to allow a game to be officiated properly we have decided to reduce the number of players. That way the referees will have more of the pitch in which to manoeuvre into, I mean cover and they should be able to make less errors due to the reduced amount of players running about and the like (headless chickens if they are the England team-the editor)”.
Even more controversial is the proposed introduction of Robo-refs: the future of law enforcement. The FIFA official delegated to provide comment, through a fair and democratic process that didn’t involve any cruelty to animals, orated “ It is time we removed human error from the game. By using Robo-refs (Robotic Chassis driven by the brain of a recently “retired” ex-footballer- the editor) we can ensure that no one will be in a position to criticise them again. These 12 foot wheel-based monstrosities, fully armed and operational, have come through a series of tests that prove their operational worth”.
However an earlier model, the Ellery 209, recently caused havoc when an innocent board member was blasted to pieces by the 209’s duel “Officiator cannons” in a demonstration that went so terribly awfully wrong. A fellow board member, who asked not to be named (you forgot to get his name didn’t you- the Editor), sickened,
“ It was horrific. One minute the Desmond was simulating a dive and the next, the 209 was blowing his knee-caps off, for his repeated rolling around the floor like he’d just been shot, which obviously he had. This continued for some time until a quick thinking person mimicked the sound of a ref’s whistle at full-time”.
This trend to implement technology into football seems to show no signs of abating. The integration of Compu-tators (micro-chip commentators) is not far off. One embarrassing incident arose, however, when a compu-tator talked utter drivel throughout a specially arranged practise game, making observations that had no bearing on the actual proceedings taking place on the pitch and often used phrases that made no grammatical, metaphorical or logical sense.
It was later revealed that Big Ron Atkinson had snuck into the studio disguised in a cardboard box covered in tin-foil. He would have escaped with his subterfuge intact but an eagle-eyed hawk fancier who was working at the stadium, spotted that he’d (Big Ron) somehow managed to spell PC incorrectly and emblazoned it on his “mainframe” in Red Biro.
UEFA and FIFA have jointly issued radical plans to reduce the amount of players on a football team to Seven.
An UEFA spokes-non gender specific enthused, “In order to allow a game to be officiated properly we have decided to reduce the number of players. That way the referees will have more of the pitch in which to manoeuvre into, I mean cover and they should be able to make less errors due to the reduced amount of players running about and the like (headless chickens if they are the England team-the editor)”.
Even more controversial is the proposed introduction of Robo-refs: the future of law enforcement. The FIFA official delegated to provide comment, through a fair and democratic process that didn’t involve any cruelty to animals, orated “ It is time we removed human error from the game. By using Robo-refs (Robotic Chassis driven by the brain of a recently “retired” ex-footballer- the editor) we can ensure that no one will be in a position to criticise them again. These 12 foot wheel-based monstrosities, fully armed and operational, have come through a series of tests that prove their operational worth”.
However an earlier model, the Ellery 209, recently caused havoc when an innocent board member was blasted to pieces by the 209’s duel “Officiator cannons” in a demonstration that went so terribly awfully wrong. A fellow board member, who asked not to be named (you forgot to get his name didn’t you- the Editor), sickened,
“ It was horrific. One minute the Desmond was simulating a dive and the next, the 209 was blowing his knee-caps off, for his repeated rolling around the floor like he’d just been shot, which obviously he had. This continued for some time until a quick thinking person mimicked the sound of a ref’s whistle at full-time”.
This trend to implement technology into football seems to show no signs of abating. The integration of Compu-tators (micro-chip commentators) is not far off. One embarrassing incident arose, however, when a compu-tator talked utter drivel throughout a specially arranged practise game, making observations that had no bearing on the actual proceedings taking place on the pitch and often used phrases that made no grammatical, metaphorical or logical sense.
It was later revealed that Big Ron Atkinson had snuck into the studio disguised in a cardboard box covered in tin-foil. He would have escaped with his subterfuge intact but an eagle-eyed hawk fancier who was working at the stadium, spotted that he’d (Big Ron) somehow managed to spell PC incorrectly and emblazoned it on his “mainframe” in Red Biro.