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I'm prone to wonder why it is
that the stupider you are the easier she fits;
For when brains are dead and thoughts anon
she's a tailored suit that fits right on.
Down the aisle and such vacant eyes
(with vacant smiles and vacant sighs)
And oh what happiness have you found
in "love", in life, with all around.
But never let the thoughts set in
(thinking's a crime; an idea's a sin)
At least that's what her manual says
One million times in different ways
that when brains rules hearts commitment starts
to eat away and then it falls apart.
Because love's the lie through which we live
and Solitude the goddess to whom we give
Our hearts, our souls, our minds, our all
To die as we lived, as we didn't at all.
And so I'm prone to wonder why I don't
relinquish my brain of so many thoughts
that fly on wings and coming crashing down
because I'm all fake limbs inside and out.
that the stupider you are the easier she fits;
For when brains are dead and thoughts anon
she's a tailored suit that fits right on.
Down the aisle and such vacant eyes
(with vacant smiles and vacant sighs)
And oh what happiness have you found
in "love", in life, with all around.
But never let the thoughts set in
(thinking's a crime; an idea's a sin)
At least that's what her manual says
One million times in different ways
that when brains rules hearts commitment starts
to eat away and then it falls apart.
Because love's the lie through which we live
and Solitude the goddess to whom we give
Our hearts, our souls, our minds, our all
To die as we lived, as we didn't at all.
And so I'm prone to wonder why I don't
relinquish my brain of so many thoughts
that fly on wings and coming crashing down
because I'm all fake limbs inside and out.
Mr. Happy wrote:
> I borrowed the idea of brackety bits from somewhere, mainly because
> you can get away with bad ryhmes if you put them as asides :-)
Brackets in a poem usually means those words are being addressed as if to a different person from the rest of the verse...
and your use of them was top-notch
> I borrowed the idea of brackety bits from somewhere, mainly because
> you can get away with bad ryhmes if you put them as asides :-)
Brackets in a poem usually means those words are being addressed as if to a different person from the rest of the verse...
and your use of them was top-notch
Mr. Happy wrote:
> that was a particularly rhythmic response, deliberate?
> :-D
Lol, only noticed that when you said it. That wasn't deliberate!
> that was a particularly rhythmic response, deliberate?
> :-D
Lol, only noticed that when you said it. That wasn't deliberate!
Wrong thread. My bad.
Good stuff Happy.
Good stuff Happy.
Jamiroquai - Falling
Bast**d. Stop writing better stuff than me. :0D :0D
*mumbles off to go and work harder*
*mumbles off to go and work harder*
RastaBillySkank wrote:
> I noticed it, but even though the rhyme goes, the rhythm still flows.
that was a particularly rhythmic response, deliberate?
:-D
> I noticed it, but even though the rhyme goes, the rhythm still flows.
that was a particularly rhythmic response, deliberate?
:-D
Mr. Happy wrote:
> I borrowed the idea of brackety bits from somewhere, mainly because
> you can get away with bad ryhmes if you put them as asides :-)
:-D
>
> And the end was an attempt to disintegrate the ryhme scheme, like
> falling apart, but I'm not sure that it works too well...
I noticed it, but even though the rhyme goes, the rhythm still flows.
> I borrowed the idea of brackety bits from somewhere, mainly because
> you can get away with bad ryhmes if you put them as asides :-)
:-D
>
> And the end was an attempt to disintegrate the ryhme scheme, like
> falling apart, but I'm not sure that it works too well...
I noticed it, but even though the rhyme goes, the rhythm still flows.
I borrowed the idea of brackety bits from somewhere, mainly because you can get away with bad ryhmes if you put them as asides :-)
And the end was an attempt to disintegrate the ryhme scheme, like falling apart, but I'm not sure that it works too well...
And the end was an attempt to disintegrate the ryhme scheme, like falling apart, but I'm not sure that it works too well...
The brackety bits are excellent and the general rhythm of the whole piece was mexcellenteŽ, really good, MH.
I'm prone to wonder why it is
that the stupider you are the easier she fits;
For when brains are dead and thoughts anon
she's a tailored suit that fits right on.
Down the aisle and such vacant eyes
(with vacant smiles and vacant sighs)
And oh what happiness have you found
in "love", in life, with all around.
But never let the thoughts set in
(thinking's a crime; an idea's a sin)
At least that's what her manual says
One million times in different ways
that when brains rules hearts commitment starts
to eat away and then it falls apart.
Because love's the lie through which we live
and Solitude the goddess to whom we give
Our hearts, our souls, our minds, our all
To die as we lived, as we didn't at all.
And so I'm prone to wonder why I don't
relinquish my brain of so many thoughts
that fly on wings and coming crashing down
because I'm all fake limbs inside and out.
that the stupider you are the easier she fits;
For when brains are dead and thoughts anon
she's a tailored suit that fits right on.
Down the aisle and such vacant eyes
(with vacant smiles and vacant sighs)
And oh what happiness have you found
in "love", in life, with all around.
But never let the thoughts set in
(thinking's a crime; an idea's a sin)
At least that's what her manual says
One million times in different ways
that when brains rules hearts commitment starts
to eat away and then it falls apart.
Because love's the lie through which we live
and Solitude the goddess to whom we give
Our hearts, our souls, our minds, our all
To die as we lived, as we didn't at all.
And so I'm prone to wonder why I don't
relinquish my brain of so many thoughts
that fly on wings and coming crashing down
because I'm all fake limbs inside and out.