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Lying in my wake,
Are burnt bridges,
That lead back,
Back to normality,
Back to hope,
Back to fantasy,
Lying in front of me,
Are daunting lands,
That lead forward,
Forward to you,
Forward to dreams,
But ultimately,
Forward to reality,
Can’t I walk the road with you?
You don’t have to walk alone,
Hell, I don’t WANT to walk alone,
I need some help on this rocky ground,
On these pastures new,
But I’m scared of change,
I have to trust the eyes of my heart,
I have to listen to the calling of my soul,
I can’t be blind,
And I can’t be deaf,
Not again,
Not this time,
Because things lurking down,
Inside the depths of me,
I know are true,
They don’t lie,
I’ve got questions I need to ask,
And answers I need to find,
But oh look,
Here I am,
I’m walking alone,
I could stop and ask for directions,
But I know no one can tell me where to go,
Not even the road itself,
Occasionally it’ll give me a few signposts,
But nothing more than the sparse prod in the right direction,
Or at least what *appears* to be the right direction,
And as I trundle,
People stop and stare,
So I put on a show,
Dance around,
Make them laugh,
At you or with you,
It makes no difference,
Because you may as well have some fun with the staring humans,
While you’re in the zoo,
Now I find someone,
Going the same way as me,
Walking the same eggshells,
Skating the same ice,
Make it work,
Make it last,
Companionship is hard to find,
On a road as long as this,
They’re fragile though,
They’re helpless,
They’re weak,
They need strength,
They need something,
They need someone,
To keep them there,
To help them through,
But I just wasn’t good enough,
To a river we came,
Down they went,
They asked me to wait,
So I did,
I’m still waiting,
Then a shot rung out,
Down I ran,
To find them their,
Asleep,
But not in this world,
And out came my soul,
Through my eyes,
But the river kept on flowing,
Mirroring my tears,
Washing them away,
Like I said,
I just wasn’t good enough,
So I’m still waiting,
You left me,
I just wasn’t good enough,
So what are you now?
A face in a photo,
An actor in a film,
A ghost in a memory,
I’m reaching for you,
But my hands just pass straight through yours,
And the vision fades,
Leaving me with a few of your words,
Life’s a joke,
Just keep on laughing,
So I did,
But the laughter just turned into tears,
And I wept,
I wept for you,
I wept for me,
I wept for everything gone,
For everything happening,
And for everything coming,
Resolution,
No more crying,
No more looking back,
It’s time to look forward,
To relish the future,
But I’m still scared of the dark,
Could you please just leave a light on for me?
Darkness hides the ugliness,
Hides the scars of what has become,
But light shows the way,
Illuminates the path,
I still cry for you,
But only in the silent blanket of darkness,
Because I made a promise to you,
No, that’s wrong,
I made a promise to ME,
Not to wallow,
Not to hang around,
Not to search for comforting hands,
And warm inviting arms,
To shy away from caring eyes,
Come on now,
Build the fort,
You get given your two feet,
But only YOU can stand on them,
You get taught how to,
But no one can walk for you,
That’s all up to you,
And here I am,
Down by the river again,
Our river,
The river where I waited for your return,
And I’m still waiting,
I know you won’t come back,
But for just a few moments,
Let me pretend
Are burnt bridges,
That lead back,
Back to normality,
Back to hope,
Back to fantasy,
Lying in front of me,
Are daunting lands,
That lead forward,
Forward to you,
Forward to dreams,
But ultimately,
Forward to reality,
Can’t I walk the road with you?
You don’t have to walk alone,
Hell, I don’t WANT to walk alone,
I need some help on this rocky ground,
On these pastures new,
But I’m scared of change,
I have to trust the eyes of my heart,
I have to listen to the calling of my soul,
I can’t be blind,
And I can’t be deaf,
Not again,
Not this time,
Because things lurking down,
Inside the depths of me,
I know are true,
They don’t lie,
I’ve got questions I need to ask,
And answers I need to find,
But oh look,
Here I am,
I’m walking alone,
I could stop and ask for directions,
But I know no one can tell me where to go,
Not even the road itself,
Occasionally it’ll give me a few signposts,
But nothing more than the sparse prod in the right direction,
Or at least what *appears* to be the right direction,
And as I trundle,
People stop and stare,
So I put on a show,
Dance around,
Make them laugh,
At you or with you,
It makes no difference,
Because you may as well have some fun with the staring humans,
While you’re in the zoo,
Now I find someone,
Going the same way as me,
Walking the same eggshells,
Skating the same ice,
Make it work,
Make it last,
Companionship is hard to find,
On a road as long as this,
They’re fragile though,
They’re helpless,
They’re weak,
They need strength,
They need something,
They need someone,
To keep them there,
To help them through,
But I just wasn’t good enough,
To a river we came,
Down they went,
They asked me to wait,
So I did,
I’m still waiting,
Then a shot rung out,
Down I ran,
To find them their,
Asleep,
But not in this world,
And out came my soul,
Through my eyes,
But the river kept on flowing,
Mirroring my tears,
Washing them away,
Like I said,
I just wasn’t good enough,
So I’m still waiting,
You left me,
I just wasn’t good enough,
So what are you now?
A face in a photo,
An actor in a film,
A ghost in a memory,
I’m reaching for you,
But my hands just pass straight through yours,
And the vision fades,
Leaving me with a few of your words,
Life’s a joke,
Just keep on laughing,
So I did,
But the laughter just turned into tears,
And I wept,
I wept for you,
I wept for me,
I wept for everything gone,
For everything happening,
And for everything coming,
Resolution,
No more crying,
No more looking back,
It’s time to look forward,
To relish the future,
But I’m still scared of the dark,
Could you please just leave a light on for me?
Darkness hides the ugliness,
Hides the scars of what has become,
But light shows the way,
Illuminates the path,
I still cry for you,
But only in the silent blanket of darkness,
Because I made a promise to you,
No, that’s wrong,
I made a promise to ME,
Not to wallow,
Not to hang around,
Not to search for comforting hands,
And warm inviting arms,
To shy away from caring eyes,
Come on now,
Build the fort,
You get given your two feet,
But only YOU can stand on them,
You get taught how to,
But no one can walk for you,
That’s all up to you,
And here I am,
Down by the river again,
Our river,
The river where I waited for your return,
And I’m still waiting,
I know you won’t come back,
But for just a few moments,
Let me pretend
Excellent.
Grix Thraves wrote:
> It might help if you write out in plain English for people, not so
> people can come forward and say 'you're so strong, you're an
> inspiration to us all', even though people probably will... it's good
> to get stuff off your chest, because if you don't think it bothers
> you, why do you write about it a lot? Same happened with me, thought
> deep down I was coping, even though just about every single thing I
> wrote had something to do with it all.
Thing is, I've got past the stage that I was in. I went past it a few weeks after. I just thought "Why should I regret it, I'm just letting him down, he'd have wanted me to enjoy myself". So that's what I try to do. Sure, I stop and think about it but them I remember the promise I made to myself and how he'd want me to carry on.
This was actually written about 7 months ago, but I never posted it the only reason I did is because recently I've had insomnia, and lying in bed at night has given me a lot of time to think and reflect. I just thought that the only way I'll put it behind me fully is to get this out on here. Selfish in a way I know, but there we go.
> And it's TOO volitile to use as fuel, trust me. If you're holding it
> back to help you push you forward, believe me, doesn't work. It won't
> wear out, but you'll keep writing the same old things, and it'll
> eventually end up controlling you. Accept it all completely, and
> you'll find so much more to write about, so much more to do. :0)
>
I tend not to hold much back, not on these boards anyway so there's not much chance of that. And I'm not jsut keeping it in so I can use it as a good starting block for a piece of facking writing. Because that's not the way to do it, if that was the case then I'd be living for my writing. True, a few years back when it all first started, that's what I did, But I've excepted it all now and come to the conclusion that Ok, I've got problems, but I've still got friends, a loving family and a roof over my head. It could be a lot worse. So I try not to let my problems get in the way, because there is NOTHING I can do to change them. It's all compeltely out of my control and whinging and whining and getting depressed over it isn't going to change that. Yeah, I feel sorry for myself from time to time and go and bleed on others, which again I know is selfish, but that's just me. Other than those sorts of slip-ups, I generally hold a positive attitude to my situation and don't let it eat away inside me because I know from muchos experience that that is NOT the way to do things.
> Oh. And good post. ;0)
Cheers :-D
> It might help if you write out in plain English for people, not so
> people can come forward and say 'you're so strong, you're an
> inspiration to us all', even though people probably will... it's good
> to get stuff off your chest, because if you don't think it bothers
> you, why do you write about it a lot? Same happened with me, thought
> deep down I was coping, even though just about every single thing I
> wrote had something to do with it all.
Thing is, I've got past the stage that I was in. I went past it a few weeks after. I just thought "Why should I regret it, I'm just letting him down, he'd have wanted me to enjoy myself". So that's what I try to do. Sure, I stop and think about it but them I remember the promise I made to myself and how he'd want me to carry on.
This was actually written about 7 months ago, but I never posted it the only reason I did is because recently I've had insomnia, and lying in bed at night has given me a lot of time to think and reflect. I just thought that the only way I'll put it behind me fully is to get this out on here. Selfish in a way I know, but there we go.
> And it's TOO volitile to use as fuel, trust me. If you're holding it
> back to help you push you forward, believe me, doesn't work. It won't
> wear out, but you'll keep writing the same old things, and it'll
> eventually end up controlling you. Accept it all completely, and
> you'll find so much more to write about, so much more to do. :0)
>
I tend not to hold much back, not on these boards anyway so there's not much chance of that. And I'm not jsut keeping it in so I can use it as a good starting block for a piece of facking writing. Because that's not the way to do it, if that was the case then I'd be living for my writing. True, a few years back when it all first started, that's what I did, But I've excepted it all now and come to the conclusion that Ok, I've got problems, but I've still got friends, a loving family and a roof over my head. It could be a lot worse. So I try not to let my problems get in the way, because there is NOTHING I can do to change them. It's all compeltely out of my control and whinging and whining and getting depressed over it isn't going to change that. Yeah, I feel sorry for myself from time to time and go and bleed on others, which again I know is selfish, but that's just me. Other than those sorts of slip-ups, I generally hold a positive attitude to my situation and don't let it eat away inside me because I know from muchos experience that that is NOT the way to do things.
> Oh. And good post. ;0)
Cheers :-D
That was good.
Careful Rasta.
People aren't here to give you a hug, say how brave you are and give you all the love you'll ever need... we're here to encourage you forward, no more than that. So don't shy away from comfort, because I know for a fact you're more dependable than that. :0)
It might help if you write out in plain English for people, not so people can come forward and say 'you're so strong, you're an inspiration to us all', even though people probably will... it's good to get stuff off your chest, because if you don't think it bothers you, why do you write about it a lot? Same happened with me, thought deep down I was coping, even though just about every single thing I wrote had something to do with it all.
And it's TOO volitile to use as fuel, trust me. If you're holding it back to help you push you forward, believe me, doesn't work. It won't wear out, but you'll keep writing the same old things, and it'll eventually end up controlling you. Accept it all completely, and you'll find so much more to write about, so much more to do. :0)
Oh. And good post. ;0)
People aren't here to give you a hug, say how brave you are and give you all the love you'll ever need... we're here to encourage you forward, no more than that. So don't shy away from comfort, because I know for a fact you're more dependable than that. :0)
It might help if you write out in plain English for people, not so people can come forward and say 'you're so strong, you're an inspiration to us all', even though people probably will... it's good to get stuff off your chest, because if you don't think it bothers you, why do you write about it a lot? Same happened with me, thought deep down I was coping, even though just about every single thing I wrote had something to do with it all.
And it's TOO volitile to use as fuel, trust me. If you're holding it back to help you push you forward, believe me, doesn't work. It won't wear out, but you'll keep writing the same old things, and it'll eventually end up controlling you. Accept it all completely, and you'll find so much more to write about, so much more to do. :0)
Oh. And good post. ;0)
Lying in my wake,
Are burnt bridges,
That lead back,
Back to normality,
Back to hope,
Back to fantasy,
Lying in front of me,
Are daunting lands,
That lead forward,
Forward to you,
Forward to dreams,
But ultimately,
Forward to reality,
Can’t I walk the road with you?
You don’t have to walk alone,
Hell, I don’t WANT to walk alone,
I need some help on this rocky ground,
On these pastures new,
But I’m scared of change,
I have to trust the eyes of my heart,
I have to listen to the calling of my soul,
I can’t be blind,
And I can’t be deaf,
Not again,
Not this time,
Because things lurking down,
Inside the depths of me,
I know are true,
They don’t lie,
I’ve got questions I need to ask,
And answers I need to find,
But oh look,
Here I am,
I’m walking alone,
I could stop and ask for directions,
But I know no one can tell me where to go,
Not even the road itself,
Occasionally it’ll give me a few signposts,
But nothing more than the sparse prod in the right direction,
Or at least what *appears* to be the right direction,
And as I trundle,
People stop and stare,
So I put on a show,
Dance around,
Make them laugh,
At you or with you,
It makes no difference,
Because you may as well have some fun with the staring humans,
While you’re in the zoo,
Now I find someone,
Going the same way as me,
Walking the same eggshells,
Skating the same ice,
Make it work,
Make it last,
Companionship is hard to find,
On a road as long as this,
They’re fragile though,
They’re helpless,
They’re weak,
They need strength,
They need something,
They need someone,
To keep them there,
To help them through,
But I just wasn’t good enough,
To a river we came,
Down they went,
They asked me to wait,
So I did,
I’m still waiting,
Then a shot rung out,
Down I ran,
To find them their,
Asleep,
But not in this world,
And out came my soul,
Through my eyes,
But the river kept on flowing,
Mirroring my tears,
Washing them away,
Like I said,
I just wasn’t good enough,
So I’m still waiting,
You left me,
I just wasn’t good enough,
So what are you now?
A face in a photo,
An actor in a film,
A ghost in a memory,
I’m reaching for you,
But my hands just pass straight through yours,
And the vision fades,
Leaving me with a few of your words,
Life’s a joke,
Just keep on laughing,
So I did,
But the laughter just turned into tears,
And I wept,
I wept for you,
I wept for me,
I wept for everything gone,
For everything happening,
And for everything coming,
Resolution,
No more crying,
No more looking back,
It’s time to look forward,
To relish the future,
But I’m still scared of the dark,
Could you please just leave a light on for me?
Darkness hides the ugliness,
Hides the scars of what has become,
But light shows the way,
Illuminates the path,
I still cry for you,
But only in the silent blanket of darkness,
Because I made a promise to you,
No, that’s wrong,
I made a promise to ME,
Not to wallow,
Not to hang around,
Not to search for comforting hands,
And warm inviting arms,
To shy away from caring eyes,
Come on now,
Build the fort,
You get given your two feet,
But only YOU can stand on them,
You get taught how to,
But no one can walk for you,
That’s all up to you,
And here I am,
Down by the river again,
Our river,
The river where I waited for your return,
And I’m still waiting,
I know you won’t come back,
But for just a few moments,
Let me pretend
Are burnt bridges,
That lead back,
Back to normality,
Back to hope,
Back to fantasy,
Lying in front of me,
Are daunting lands,
That lead forward,
Forward to you,
Forward to dreams,
But ultimately,
Forward to reality,
Can’t I walk the road with you?
You don’t have to walk alone,
Hell, I don’t WANT to walk alone,
I need some help on this rocky ground,
On these pastures new,
But I’m scared of change,
I have to trust the eyes of my heart,
I have to listen to the calling of my soul,
I can’t be blind,
And I can’t be deaf,
Not again,
Not this time,
Because things lurking down,
Inside the depths of me,
I know are true,
They don’t lie,
I’ve got questions I need to ask,
And answers I need to find,
But oh look,
Here I am,
I’m walking alone,
I could stop and ask for directions,
But I know no one can tell me where to go,
Not even the road itself,
Occasionally it’ll give me a few signposts,
But nothing more than the sparse prod in the right direction,
Or at least what *appears* to be the right direction,
And as I trundle,
People stop and stare,
So I put on a show,
Dance around,
Make them laugh,
At you or with you,
It makes no difference,
Because you may as well have some fun with the staring humans,
While you’re in the zoo,
Now I find someone,
Going the same way as me,
Walking the same eggshells,
Skating the same ice,
Make it work,
Make it last,
Companionship is hard to find,
On a road as long as this,
They’re fragile though,
They’re helpless,
They’re weak,
They need strength,
They need something,
They need someone,
To keep them there,
To help them through,
But I just wasn’t good enough,
To a river we came,
Down they went,
They asked me to wait,
So I did,
I’m still waiting,
Then a shot rung out,
Down I ran,
To find them their,
Asleep,
But not in this world,
And out came my soul,
Through my eyes,
But the river kept on flowing,
Mirroring my tears,
Washing them away,
Like I said,
I just wasn’t good enough,
So I’m still waiting,
You left me,
I just wasn’t good enough,
So what are you now?
A face in a photo,
An actor in a film,
A ghost in a memory,
I’m reaching for you,
But my hands just pass straight through yours,
And the vision fades,
Leaving me with a few of your words,
Life’s a joke,
Just keep on laughing,
So I did,
But the laughter just turned into tears,
And I wept,
I wept for you,
I wept for me,
I wept for everything gone,
For everything happening,
And for everything coming,
Resolution,
No more crying,
No more looking back,
It’s time to look forward,
To relish the future,
But I’m still scared of the dark,
Could you please just leave a light on for me?
Darkness hides the ugliness,
Hides the scars of what has become,
But light shows the way,
Illuminates the path,
I still cry for you,
But only in the silent blanket of darkness,
Because I made a promise to you,
No, that’s wrong,
I made a promise to ME,
Not to wallow,
Not to hang around,
Not to search for comforting hands,
And warm inviting arms,
To shy away from caring eyes,
Come on now,
Build the fort,
You get given your two feet,
But only YOU can stand on them,
You get taught how to,
But no one can walk for you,
That’s all up to you,
And here I am,
Down by the river again,
Our river,
The river where I waited for your return,
And I’m still waiting,
I know you won’t come back,
But for just a few moments,
Let me pretend