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Ooh a new Tekken game... The rumour-mill has been grinding hard like the teeth of English football fans to reveal this veritable untruth of an allegation concerning Namco's latest PS2 game. It's called Tekken Celebrity Knockout, and will be based on the usual 3d beat 'em up format. Apparentley, according to certain sources, there will also be the introduction of a unique 'fighting-style' for each of the bizarre selection of celebrity characters. The details about the main 12 fighters are scripted below:
1)MR MIAGI
Special Weapon: Chop-sticks
Home Level: Bonsai Garden
Fighting School: 'Wax-On, Wax-Off Style'
The superlative sensei from the legendary Karate Kid trilogy. I've never seen him in a fighting game before, which is a darned waste in my view. Finally wee-ninja OAP Mr Miagi is fully rendered in 3D and ready to rumble. He may have a weak bladder and varicose veins, but he is still a true karate don. An all round fighter who, with mastery, may take the championship title. Wax-on, wax-off. Wax-on, wax-off.
2)RIO FERDINAND
Special Weapon: Football
Home Level: Football Stadium
Fighting School: 'Hackney Hatchet Style'
Rio's all peeved at that loss to Brazil, and he's ready for some REAL fighting. With his bottle-opening over-bite buck-teeth, he can execute savage attacks, whilst still managing a sturdy job in defence. And with his 'kick-the-ball-really-hard-at-your-nuts' move, you can't take a fight with Ferdinand too lightly.
3)TEENWOLF
Special Weapon: Basketball
Home Level: High School B-Ball Court
Fighting School: 'Miniature 1980s Teenage Werewolf Style'
Michael J Fox's Oscar winning 80's movie character Teenwolf is one hella fighter. His stature may be diminuitive, but in werewolf form he can breakdance, 'shoot hoops', 'bus-surf' and much, much more... Normally a peaceful character, Teenwolf heard his prom date had been kidnapped by the mystery host of the tournament, and so has entered to wreak revenge.
4)ALISON from BIG BROTHER
Special Weapon: Cream Cake
Home Level: Big Brother House
Fighting School: 'Fat Disco Gymnastics'
Alison from BB has a highly unorthodox technique. She bounces, she jiggles, she jumps, she falls, she wobbles and she breaks things. She is a danger to herself and everyone else in the competition. By shouting loudly, and shaking the ground around her she can add to her repetoire of general fat-wrestling attacks. Look out.
5)HOMER SIMPSON
Special Weapon: Doh! I left it at home
Home Level: Mo's Tavern
Fighting School: 'Stupid Drunken Boxing'
EVERYONE loves Homer and he's finally making a suitable video gaming appearance. Mo concocted a special 'fight-juice' to help Homer get aggro, and he's out to batter him some skulls. Mastering his stupid drunken ways is hard, but consume enough Duff, and it soon becomes second nature.
6)HOLLY VALANCE
Special Weapon: Thong
Home Level: Kingsize Silk-Sheeted Waterbed
Fighting School: 'Make Love Not War'
Mmmmm. Holly Valance. She may be on TV nearly every weekday at the moment, but soon she will be gone. Captured with glorious realism, Ms Valance has been accurately modelled to the finest detail (Funnily enough, the developers spent longer making her character than all the others put together...). You don't have to make her fight though, you can just make her dance around the room a bit. Mmm.
7) PHIL MITCHELL
Special Weapon: Snooker Ball-in-a-Sock
Home Level: E20, Albert Square
Fighting School: 'You Want Some?'
Eastenders hardnut Phil Mitchell is a favourite for champion. With over six hundred and sixty six styles of headbutt, there really is no one who nuts harder. He may be tubby, bald and ginger but he's still a very strong fighter who makes a good choice for beginners.
8) BRIAN BLESSED
Special Weapon: Steak Knife
Home Level: Wine Cellar
Fighting School: 'Big Beard Style'
BWA HA! YOU IRKSOME LITTLE PLEBIANS! It's the LOUDEST man in the universe. Despite a slight muffling effect from his enormous facial-hair scenario, Brian Blessed's voice is SO loud that it can make his opponents' brains implode. Taking Guile from SF2's classic 'Sonic Boom' special move and amplifying it to hitherto unheard volumes, Brian can wage vocal war from a distance. And hidden beneath the giant beard, Mr Blessed has a vast expanse of chin which shields the vital organs in his torso.
9) DARIUS
Special Weapon: Acceptance Speech
Home Level: Sunlamp Emporium
Fighting School: 'Deluded Deity style'
Darius was rejected by the developers on 3 occasions, but somehow managed to find his way back on the roster. Although Darius thinks he's some kind of god, he's not. He's just a pretentious busker. However his height, his latin-elements, his pointy beard and his pony tail do make him LOOK like a fighter from a video game. So that's why he's here. He's rubbish though.
10) 'NIGHTSHADE' from GLADIATOR
Special Weapon: One Of Those Giant Cotton-Bud Fighting Sticks
Home Level: Birmingham NEC
Fighting School: 'Glaa-a-diat-ahhhs'
Nightshade has been in continual training since the welcome decline of ITV's Gladiators. Combine this with the fact she's actually a hybrid of a human and a Predator, she really is quite frightening. Everyone knows the Gladiators were the finest warriors of our generation and that Predators are the ultimate killing creatures, and so Nightshade is sure to fare well in this challenge.
11) CONAN THE BARBARIAN
Special Weapon: Big Sword
Home Level: Big Firey Cave
Fighting School: 'Barbarian Small-Pants Style'
Arnie's 1st big screen appearance which went on to define his career. As the musclebound freak of a make-up wearing barbarian that he is, Conan's sheer strength gives him a distinct advantage in any ruckus. He has a huge 2 handed sword too, but he was never told how to use it properly, so he generally has to put it down before fighting. Roar.
12) VIVIAN from the YOUNG ONES
Special Weapon: Howitzer
Home Level: Grubby Student Flat
Fighting School: 'Heavy Metal Bleach Drinking Style'
Ade Edmonson's spikey haired ginger student nut-loop from the classic 80s sitcom: the Young Ones. With his metal studded forehead, big-ass DM boots and a natural propensity for lapsing into fits of obscenely violent physical abuse, Viv is WELL up for this fighting malarkey. He can't feel pain and he can produce heavy artillery from the turn ups of his knackered denims. He is the ultimate warrior.
BASIC COMMON CONTROLS FOR ALL CHARACTERS:
Right Analogue Stick: Use Weapon
Left Analogue Stick: Movement
Circle: Slap
Triangle: Pinch
Square: Spit
Cross: Trip
R1: Special Move
R2: Super-Celeb Combo
L1: Guard
L2: Run Away Crying Like A Girl
Select: Pause
Start: Erase Memory Card
1)MR MIAGI
Special Weapon: Chop-sticks
Home Level: Bonsai Garden
Fighting School: 'Wax-On, Wax-Off Style'
The superlative sensei from the legendary Karate Kid trilogy. I've never seen him in a fighting game before, which is a darned waste in my view. Finally wee-ninja OAP Mr Miagi is fully rendered in 3D and ready to rumble. He may have a weak bladder and varicose veins, but he is still a true karate don. An all round fighter who, with mastery, may take the championship title. Wax-on, wax-off. Wax-on, wax-off.
2)RIO FERDINAND
Special Weapon: Football
Home Level: Football Stadium
Fighting School: 'Hackney Hatchet Style'
Rio's all peeved at that loss to Brazil, and he's ready for some REAL fighting. With his bottle-opening over-bite buck-teeth, he can execute savage attacks, whilst still managing a sturdy job in defence. And with his 'kick-the-ball-really-hard-at-your-nuts' move, you can't take a fight with Ferdinand too lightly.
3)TEENWOLF
Special Weapon: Basketball
Home Level: High School B-Ball Court
Fighting School: 'Miniature 1980s Teenage Werewolf Style'
Michael J Fox's Oscar winning 80's movie character Teenwolf is one hella fighter. His stature may be diminuitive, but in werewolf form he can breakdance, 'shoot hoops', 'bus-surf' and much, much more... Normally a peaceful character, Teenwolf heard his prom date had been kidnapped by the mystery host of the tournament, and so has entered to wreak revenge.
4)ALISON from BIG BROTHER
Special Weapon: Cream Cake
Home Level: Big Brother House
Fighting School: 'Fat Disco Gymnastics'
Alison from BB has a highly unorthodox technique. She bounces, she jiggles, she jumps, she falls, she wobbles and she breaks things. She is a danger to herself and everyone else in the competition. By shouting loudly, and shaking the ground around her she can add to her repetoire of general fat-wrestling attacks. Look out.
5)HOMER SIMPSON
Special Weapon: Doh! I left it at home
Home Level: Mo's Tavern
Fighting School: 'Stupid Drunken Boxing'
EVERYONE loves Homer and he's finally making a suitable video gaming appearance. Mo concocted a special 'fight-juice' to help Homer get aggro, and he's out to batter him some skulls. Mastering his stupid drunken ways is hard, but consume enough Duff, and it soon becomes second nature.
6)HOLLY VALANCE
Special Weapon: Thong
Home Level: Kingsize Silk-Sheeted Waterbed
Fighting School: 'Make Love Not War'
Mmmmm. Holly Valance. She may be on TV nearly every weekday at the moment, but soon she will be gone. Captured with glorious realism, Ms Valance has been accurately modelled to the finest detail (Funnily enough, the developers spent longer making her character than all the others put together...). You don't have to make her fight though, you can just make her dance around the room a bit. Mmm.
7) PHIL MITCHELL
Special Weapon: Snooker Ball-in-a-Sock
Home Level: E20, Albert Square
Fighting School: 'You Want Some?'
Eastenders hardnut Phil Mitchell is a favourite for champion. With over six hundred and sixty six styles of headbutt, there really is no one who nuts harder. He may be tubby, bald and ginger but he's still a very strong fighter who makes a good choice for beginners.
8) BRIAN BLESSED
Special Weapon: Steak Knife
Home Level: Wine Cellar
Fighting School: 'Big Beard Style'
BWA HA! YOU IRKSOME LITTLE PLEBIANS! It's the LOUDEST man in the universe. Despite a slight muffling effect from his enormous facial-hair scenario, Brian Blessed's voice is SO loud that it can make his opponents' brains implode. Taking Guile from SF2's classic 'Sonic Boom' special move and amplifying it to hitherto unheard volumes, Brian can wage vocal war from a distance. And hidden beneath the giant beard, Mr Blessed has a vast expanse of chin which shields the vital organs in his torso.
9) DARIUS
Special Weapon: Acceptance Speech
Home Level: Sunlamp Emporium
Fighting School: 'Deluded Deity style'
Darius was rejected by the developers on 3 occasions, but somehow managed to find his way back on the roster. Although Darius thinks he's some kind of god, he's not. He's just a pretentious busker. However his height, his latin-elements, his pointy beard and his pony tail do make him LOOK like a fighter from a video game. So that's why he's here. He's rubbish though.
10) 'NIGHTSHADE' from GLADIATOR
Special Weapon: One Of Those Giant Cotton-Bud Fighting Sticks
Home Level: Birmingham NEC
Fighting School: 'Glaa-a-diat-ahhhs'
Nightshade has been in continual training since the welcome decline of ITV's Gladiators. Combine this with the fact she's actually a hybrid of a human and a Predator, she really is quite frightening. Everyone knows the Gladiators were the finest warriors of our generation and that Predators are the ultimate killing creatures, and so Nightshade is sure to fare well in this challenge.
11) CONAN THE BARBARIAN
Special Weapon: Big Sword
Home Level: Big Firey Cave
Fighting School: 'Barbarian Small-Pants Style'
Arnie's 1st big screen appearance which went on to define his career. As the musclebound freak of a make-up wearing barbarian that he is, Conan's sheer strength gives him a distinct advantage in any ruckus. He has a huge 2 handed sword too, but he was never told how to use it properly, so he generally has to put it down before fighting. Roar.
12) VIVIAN from the YOUNG ONES
Special Weapon: Howitzer
Home Level: Grubby Student Flat
Fighting School: 'Heavy Metal Bleach Drinking Style'
Ade Edmonson's spikey haired ginger student nut-loop from the classic 80s sitcom: the Young Ones. With his metal studded forehead, big-ass DM boots and a natural propensity for lapsing into fits of obscenely violent physical abuse, Viv is WELL up for this fighting malarkey. He can't feel pain and he can produce heavy artillery from the turn ups of his knackered denims. He is the ultimate warrior.
BASIC COMMON CONTROLS FOR ALL CHARACTERS:
Right Analogue Stick: Use Weapon
Left Analogue Stick: Movement
Circle: Slap
Triangle: Pinch
Square: Spit
Cross: Trip
R1: Special Move
R2: Super-Celeb Combo
L1: Guard
L2: Run Away Crying Like A Girl
Select: Pause
Start: Erase Memory Card
Monkey_With_Attitude wrote:
> The_Flying_Hawkstar wrote:
> Hehe can't wait to add this game to my PS2 collection.
>
>
> I've got it.
Have you unlocked the final boss yet?
The last level can be tricky, but you'll be able to choose MYSTIC MEG when you have completed it. This slow-speaking freak-woman has a vast array of inaccurate psychic powers at her disposal, but can be swiftly dispatched with a quick kick to the crystal-balls.
> The_Flying_Hawkstar wrote:
> Hehe can't wait to add this game to my PS2 collection.
>
>
> I've got it.
Have you unlocked the final boss yet?
The last level can be tricky, but you'll be able to choose MYSTIC MEG when you have completed it. This slow-speaking freak-woman has a vast array of inaccurate psychic powers at her disposal, but can be swiftly dispatched with a quick kick to the crystal-balls.
RM18 wrote:
> LOL
>
> Another brilliant post illzen, classic! It's reading posts like these
> that make coming on these forums enjoyable.
Another brilliant reply RM18! It's reading replies like these that makes writing on these forums enjoyable!
Cheers dude :)
> LOL
>
> Another brilliant post illzen, classic! It's reading posts like these
> that make coming on these forums enjoyable.
Another brilliant reply RM18! It's reading replies like these that makes writing on these forums enjoyable!
Cheers dude :)
The_Flying_Hawkstar wrote:
> Hehe can't wait to add this game to my PS2 collection.
I've got it.
> Hehe can't wait to add this game to my PS2 collection.
I've got it.
LOL
Another brilliant post illzen, classic! It's reading posts like these that make coming on these forums enjoyable.
:D
P.S. I replied to your old post but I don't think you saw it...
Another brilliant post illzen, classic! It's reading posts like these that make coming on these forums enjoyable.
:D
P.S. I replied to your old post but I don't think you saw it...
Neither can I!
Good post illzen!
Good post illzen!
Hehe can't wait to add this game to my PS2 collection.
Ooh a new Tekken game... The rumour-mill has been grinding hard like the teeth of English football fans to reveal this veritable untruth of an allegation concerning Namco's latest PS2 game. It's called Tekken Celebrity Knockout, and will be based on the usual 3d beat 'em up format. Apparentley, according to certain sources, there will also be the introduction of a unique 'fighting-style' for each of the bizarre selection of celebrity characters. The details about the main 12 fighters are scripted below:
1)MR MIAGI
Special Weapon: Chop-sticks
Home Level: Bonsai Garden
Fighting School: 'Wax-On, Wax-Off Style'
The superlative sensei from the legendary Karate Kid trilogy. I've never seen him in a fighting game before, which is a darned waste in my view. Finally wee-ninja OAP Mr Miagi is fully rendered in 3D and ready to rumble. He may have a weak bladder and varicose veins, but he is still a true karate don. An all round fighter who, with mastery, may take the championship title. Wax-on, wax-off. Wax-on, wax-off.
2)RIO FERDINAND
Special Weapon: Football
Home Level: Football Stadium
Fighting School: 'Hackney Hatchet Style'
Rio's all peeved at that loss to Brazil, and he's ready for some REAL fighting. With his bottle-opening over-bite buck-teeth, he can execute savage attacks, whilst still managing a sturdy job in defence. And with his 'kick-the-ball-really-hard-at-your-nuts' move, you can't take a fight with Ferdinand too lightly.
3)TEENWOLF
Special Weapon: Basketball
Home Level: High School B-Ball Court
Fighting School: 'Miniature 1980s Teenage Werewolf Style'
Michael J Fox's Oscar winning 80's movie character Teenwolf is one hella fighter. His stature may be diminuitive, but in werewolf form he can breakdance, 'shoot hoops', 'bus-surf' and much, much more... Normally a peaceful character, Teenwolf heard his prom date had been kidnapped by the mystery host of the tournament, and so has entered to wreak revenge.
4)ALISON from BIG BROTHER
Special Weapon: Cream Cake
Home Level: Big Brother House
Fighting School: 'Fat Disco Gymnastics'
Alison from BB has a highly unorthodox technique. She bounces, she jiggles, she jumps, she falls, she wobbles and she breaks things. She is a danger to herself and everyone else in the competition. By shouting loudly, and shaking the ground around her she can add to her repetoire of general fat-wrestling attacks. Look out.
5)HOMER SIMPSON
Special Weapon: Doh! I left it at home
Home Level: Mo's Tavern
Fighting School: 'Stupid Drunken Boxing'
EVERYONE loves Homer and he's finally making a suitable video gaming appearance. Mo concocted a special 'fight-juice' to help Homer get aggro, and he's out to batter him some skulls. Mastering his stupid drunken ways is hard, but consume enough Duff, and it soon becomes second nature.
6)HOLLY VALANCE
Special Weapon: Thong
Home Level: Kingsize Silk-Sheeted Waterbed
Fighting School: 'Make Love Not War'
Mmmmm. Holly Valance. She may be on TV nearly every weekday at the moment, but soon she will be gone. Captured with glorious realism, Ms Valance has been accurately modelled to the finest detail (Funnily enough, the developers spent longer making her character than all the others put together...). You don't have to make her fight though, you can just make her dance around the room a bit. Mmm.
7) PHIL MITCHELL
Special Weapon: Snooker Ball-in-a-Sock
Home Level: E20, Albert Square
Fighting School: 'You Want Some?'
Eastenders hardnut Phil Mitchell is a favourite for champion. With over six hundred and sixty six styles of headbutt, there really is no one who nuts harder. He may be tubby, bald and ginger but he's still a very strong fighter who makes a good choice for beginners.
8) BRIAN BLESSED
Special Weapon: Steak Knife
Home Level: Wine Cellar
Fighting School: 'Big Beard Style'
BWA HA! YOU IRKSOME LITTLE PLEBIANS! It's the LOUDEST man in the universe. Despite a slight muffling effect from his enormous facial-hair scenario, Brian Blessed's voice is SO loud that it can make his opponents' brains implode. Taking Guile from SF2's classic 'Sonic Boom' special move and amplifying it to hitherto unheard volumes, Brian can wage vocal war from a distance. And hidden beneath the giant beard, Mr Blessed has a vast expanse of chin which shields the vital organs in his torso.
9) DARIUS
Special Weapon: Acceptance Speech
Home Level: Sunlamp Emporium
Fighting School: 'Deluded Deity style'
Darius was rejected by the developers on 3 occasions, but somehow managed to find his way back on the roster. Although Darius thinks he's some kind of god, he's not. He's just a pretentious busker. However his height, his latin-elements, his pointy beard and his pony tail do make him LOOK like a fighter from a video game. So that's why he's here. He's rubbish though.
10) 'NIGHTSHADE' from GLADIATOR
Special Weapon: One Of Those Giant Cotton-Bud Fighting Sticks
Home Level: Birmingham NEC
Fighting School: 'Glaa-a-diat-ahhhs'
Nightshade has been in continual training since the welcome decline of ITV's Gladiators. Combine this with the fact she's actually a hybrid of a human and a Predator, she really is quite frightening. Everyone knows the Gladiators were the finest warriors of our generation and that Predators are the ultimate killing creatures, and so Nightshade is sure to fare well in this challenge.
11) CONAN THE BARBARIAN
Special Weapon: Big Sword
Home Level: Big Firey Cave
Fighting School: 'Barbarian Small-Pants Style'
Arnie's 1st big screen appearance which went on to define his career. As the musclebound freak of a make-up wearing barbarian that he is, Conan's sheer strength gives him a distinct advantage in any ruckus. He has a huge 2 handed sword too, but he was never told how to use it properly, so he generally has to put it down before fighting. Roar.
12) VIVIAN from the YOUNG ONES
Special Weapon: Howitzer
Home Level: Grubby Student Flat
Fighting School: 'Heavy Metal Bleach Drinking Style'
Ade Edmonson's spikey haired ginger student nut-loop from the classic 80s sitcom: the Young Ones. With his metal studded forehead, big-ass DM boots and a natural propensity for lapsing into fits of obscenely violent physical abuse, Viv is WELL up for this fighting malarkey. He can't feel pain and he can produce heavy artillery from the turn ups of his knackered denims. He is the ultimate warrior.
BASIC COMMON CONTROLS FOR ALL CHARACTERS:
Right Analogue Stick: Use Weapon
Left Analogue Stick: Movement
Circle: Slap
Triangle: Pinch
Square: Spit
Cross: Trip
R1: Special Move
R2: Super-Celeb Combo
L1: Guard
L2: Run Away Crying Like A Girl
Select: Pause
Start: Erase Memory Card
1)MR MIAGI
Special Weapon: Chop-sticks
Home Level: Bonsai Garden
Fighting School: 'Wax-On, Wax-Off Style'
The superlative sensei from the legendary Karate Kid trilogy. I've never seen him in a fighting game before, which is a darned waste in my view. Finally wee-ninja OAP Mr Miagi is fully rendered in 3D and ready to rumble. He may have a weak bladder and varicose veins, but he is still a true karate don. An all round fighter who, with mastery, may take the championship title. Wax-on, wax-off. Wax-on, wax-off.
2)RIO FERDINAND
Special Weapon: Football
Home Level: Football Stadium
Fighting School: 'Hackney Hatchet Style'
Rio's all peeved at that loss to Brazil, and he's ready for some REAL fighting. With his bottle-opening over-bite buck-teeth, he can execute savage attacks, whilst still managing a sturdy job in defence. And with his 'kick-the-ball-really-hard-at-your-nuts' move, you can't take a fight with Ferdinand too lightly.
3)TEENWOLF
Special Weapon: Basketball
Home Level: High School B-Ball Court
Fighting School: 'Miniature 1980s Teenage Werewolf Style'
Michael J Fox's Oscar winning 80's movie character Teenwolf is one hella fighter. His stature may be diminuitive, but in werewolf form he can breakdance, 'shoot hoops', 'bus-surf' and much, much more... Normally a peaceful character, Teenwolf heard his prom date had been kidnapped by the mystery host of the tournament, and so has entered to wreak revenge.
4)ALISON from BIG BROTHER
Special Weapon: Cream Cake
Home Level: Big Brother House
Fighting School: 'Fat Disco Gymnastics'
Alison from BB has a highly unorthodox technique. She bounces, she jiggles, she jumps, she falls, she wobbles and she breaks things. She is a danger to herself and everyone else in the competition. By shouting loudly, and shaking the ground around her she can add to her repetoire of general fat-wrestling attacks. Look out.
5)HOMER SIMPSON
Special Weapon: Doh! I left it at home
Home Level: Mo's Tavern
Fighting School: 'Stupid Drunken Boxing'
EVERYONE loves Homer and he's finally making a suitable video gaming appearance. Mo concocted a special 'fight-juice' to help Homer get aggro, and he's out to batter him some skulls. Mastering his stupid drunken ways is hard, but consume enough Duff, and it soon becomes second nature.
6)HOLLY VALANCE
Special Weapon: Thong
Home Level: Kingsize Silk-Sheeted Waterbed
Fighting School: 'Make Love Not War'
Mmmmm. Holly Valance. She may be on TV nearly every weekday at the moment, but soon she will be gone. Captured with glorious realism, Ms Valance has been accurately modelled to the finest detail (Funnily enough, the developers spent longer making her character than all the others put together...). You don't have to make her fight though, you can just make her dance around the room a bit. Mmm.
7) PHIL MITCHELL
Special Weapon: Snooker Ball-in-a-Sock
Home Level: E20, Albert Square
Fighting School: 'You Want Some?'
Eastenders hardnut Phil Mitchell is a favourite for champion. With over six hundred and sixty six styles of headbutt, there really is no one who nuts harder. He may be tubby, bald and ginger but he's still a very strong fighter who makes a good choice for beginners.
8) BRIAN BLESSED
Special Weapon: Steak Knife
Home Level: Wine Cellar
Fighting School: 'Big Beard Style'
BWA HA! YOU IRKSOME LITTLE PLEBIANS! It's the LOUDEST man in the universe. Despite a slight muffling effect from his enormous facial-hair scenario, Brian Blessed's voice is SO loud that it can make his opponents' brains implode. Taking Guile from SF2's classic 'Sonic Boom' special move and amplifying it to hitherto unheard volumes, Brian can wage vocal war from a distance. And hidden beneath the giant beard, Mr Blessed has a vast expanse of chin which shields the vital organs in his torso.
9) DARIUS
Special Weapon: Acceptance Speech
Home Level: Sunlamp Emporium
Fighting School: 'Deluded Deity style'
Darius was rejected by the developers on 3 occasions, but somehow managed to find his way back on the roster. Although Darius thinks he's some kind of god, he's not. He's just a pretentious busker. However his height, his latin-elements, his pointy beard and his pony tail do make him LOOK like a fighter from a video game. So that's why he's here. He's rubbish though.
10) 'NIGHTSHADE' from GLADIATOR
Special Weapon: One Of Those Giant Cotton-Bud Fighting Sticks
Home Level: Birmingham NEC
Fighting School: 'Glaa-a-diat-ahhhs'
Nightshade has been in continual training since the welcome decline of ITV's Gladiators. Combine this with the fact she's actually a hybrid of a human and a Predator, she really is quite frightening. Everyone knows the Gladiators were the finest warriors of our generation and that Predators are the ultimate killing creatures, and so Nightshade is sure to fare well in this challenge.
11) CONAN THE BARBARIAN
Special Weapon: Big Sword
Home Level: Big Firey Cave
Fighting School: 'Barbarian Small-Pants Style'
Arnie's 1st big screen appearance which went on to define his career. As the musclebound freak of a make-up wearing barbarian that he is, Conan's sheer strength gives him a distinct advantage in any ruckus. He has a huge 2 handed sword too, but he was never told how to use it properly, so he generally has to put it down before fighting. Roar.
12) VIVIAN from the YOUNG ONES
Special Weapon: Howitzer
Home Level: Grubby Student Flat
Fighting School: 'Heavy Metal Bleach Drinking Style'
Ade Edmonson's spikey haired ginger student nut-loop from the classic 80s sitcom: the Young Ones. With his metal studded forehead, big-ass DM boots and a natural propensity for lapsing into fits of obscenely violent physical abuse, Viv is WELL up for this fighting malarkey. He can't feel pain and he can produce heavy artillery from the turn ups of his knackered denims. He is the ultimate warrior.
BASIC COMMON CONTROLS FOR ALL CHARACTERS:
Right Analogue Stick: Use Weapon
Left Analogue Stick: Movement
Circle: Slap
Triangle: Pinch
Square: Spit
Cross: Trip
R1: Special Move
R2: Super-Celeb Combo
L1: Guard
L2: Run Away Crying Like A Girl
Select: Pause
Start: Erase Memory Card