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Once upon a time, quite a long time ago, there was a man who had 3 daughters. He was a poor man and couldn’t keep his daughters fed, so he hatched a plan to make use of them instead.
He’d read enough newspapers to know that there were a fair few princes who would take the opportunity to rescue any damsel in distress, as they usually turned out to be princesses and the law dictated that it was their duty to find and rescue any such girl.
So, he took each of his daughters and locked them in a tower, much to their protest. Had he been a shrewd man, he may have decided to rent these three spacious accommodations out to make a profit, but unfortunately he was just a simple farmer who had no idea that this type of business existed. The three towers were actually left to him by his grandmother, who collected strange buildings before she inexplicably disappeared.
The first daughter, Tixylix, waited 3 months, with only dried ham and blackbird pie to eat and no decent plumbing, before a prince arrived. She spotted him riding a large white horse as he cut through the compulsory placed brambles to reach the castle.
“Oh, please kind sir, save me from this tower where I have been imprisoned by a wicked witch.”
The prince rode up and found that the door was actually unlocked and pretty easy to open. He ran up the stairs and was straight away hit by the stench of waste (well, there was no plumbing, so what do you expect?). Fighting past this, he reached the room where the ‘princess’ lay waiting.
“Don’t worry princess. Here I am to save you. Please sign this waiver form protecting me from being sued in the event of any damage or accident that may occur on our escape.”
Tixylix looked hard at her rescuer, there was something not quite right about him. For one he wore what looked like a nun’s habit under his chainmail and what was more, the prince’s manly beared didn’t look altogether real. The prince saw this.
“Ah yes. You’ve guessed by now I’m not a real prince. I’m actually a nun from the convent down the road. There are so few princes that the local council hired us to save the growing number of damsels in distress. We get to hire many of them in return.”
And so Tixylix went to join the nuns in the convent.
The second daughter, Calpol, waited slightly longer, but had a slightly better tower with full plumbing, hot water and a nice sea view. Eventually she had a visitor, but it wasn’t a prince, it was a black cat.
“I don’t suppose you have need of an old black cat, do you?” said the cat. “As you can see, I can converse and have been known to lead to many an adventure in my time. But I have grown old and no-one has need of my services any longer. I have, however, found where the gold at the end of the rainbow is stored and I wondered whether you would like to come with me to find it?”
Calpol took heart and agreed to wonder the world with the cat, looking for adventure. So they set off across the sea to find the end of the rainbow.
The third daughter, Benylin, had the nicest tower. This not only had the full plumbing and was fully carpeted, but it also had a built in home entertainment system (in the form of a live-in lyre player and actor, who couldn’t find other work due to his peg-leg providing him with limited acting opportunities). She was quite happy waiting for a prince as she also had an allotment at the back of the tower, where she would happily gather food each day.
One day she was out picking aubergines, when she heard a horse pull up beside the tower.
“Hello! Anyone home?” said a manly voice.
She went to see who it was and was greeted by the sight of a small, not so handsome prince.
“Hi! I’m prince Herbert. Do you need rescuing?” Said the bemused prince, who’s brain was just getting around the idea that she wasn’t actually imprisoned as such and actually seemed to be gardening (the gloves were a dead giveaway).
“Do you have a castle and money?” Asked Benylin, who was much more shrewd than her father.
“Well, I have money, but I live in my father’s castle and was looking for a place to move to, actually….”
“Ah, what the heck, I’m not picky, you can come and live with me.”
And so they were married. Benylin became Princess Benylin and lived happily ever after with the prince in their tower. As for her father, well, Benylin had told the king about her and her sisters and although shocked by the audacity of locking his daughters up, the king approved of the plans and had him made a chief politician in the council.
Now a major GAD winning success in over seventeen countries, in six of which they don't even have microwaves! *Weeps salty tears of joy*
He’d read enough newspapers to know that there were a fair few princes who would take the opportunity to rescue any damsel in distress, as they usually turned out to be princesses and the law dictated that it was their duty to find and rescue any such girl.
So, he took each of his daughters and locked them in a tower, much to their protest. Had he been a shrewd man, he may have decided to rent these three spacious accommodations out to make a profit, but unfortunately he was just a simple farmer who had no idea that this type of business existed. The three towers were actually left to him by his grandmother, who collected strange buildings before she inexplicably disappeared.
The first daughter, Tixylix, waited 3 months, with only dried ham and blackbird pie to eat and no decent plumbing, before a prince arrived. She spotted him riding a large white horse as he cut through the compulsory placed brambles to reach the castle.
“Oh, please kind sir, save me from this tower where I have been imprisoned by a wicked witch.”
The prince rode up and found that the door was actually unlocked and pretty easy to open. He ran up the stairs and was straight away hit by the stench of waste (well, there was no plumbing, so what do you expect?). Fighting past this, he reached the room where the ‘princess’ lay waiting.
“Don’t worry princess. Here I am to save you. Please sign this waiver form protecting me from being sued in the event of any damage or accident that may occur on our escape.”
Tixylix looked hard at her rescuer, there was something not quite right about him. For one he wore what looked like a nun’s habit under his chainmail and what was more, the prince’s manly beared didn’t look altogether real. The prince saw this.
“Ah yes. You’ve guessed by now I’m not a real prince. I’m actually a nun from the convent down the road. There are so few princes that the local council hired us to save the growing number of damsels in distress. We get to hire many of them in return.”
And so Tixylix went to join the nuns in the convent.
The second daughter, Calpol, waited slightly longer, but had a slightly better tower with full plumbing, hot water and a nice sea view. Eventually she had a visitor, but it wasn’t a prince, it was a black cat.
“I don’t suppose you have need of an old black cat, do you?” said the cat. “As you can see, I can converse and have been known to lead to many an adventure in my time. But I have grown old and no-one has need of my services any longer. I have, however, found where the gold at the end of the rainbow is stored and I wondered whether you would like to come with me to find it?”
Calpol took heart and agreed to wonder the world with the cat, looking for adventure. So they set off across the sea to find the end of the rainbow.
The third daughter, Benylin, had the nicest tower. This not only had the full plumbing and was fully carpeted, but it also had a built in home entertainment system (in the form of a live-in lyre player and actor, who couldn’t find other work due to his peg-leg providing him with limited acting opportunities). She was quite happy waiting for a prince as she also had an allotment at the back of the tower, where she would happily gather food each day.
One day she was out picking aubergines, when she heard a horse pull up beside the tower.
“Hello! Anyone home?” said a manly voice.
She went to see who it was and was greeted by the sight of a small, not so handsome prince.
“Hi! I’m prince Herbert. Do you need rescuing?” Said the bemused prince, who’s brain was just getting around the idea that she wasn’t actually imprisoned as such and actually seemed to be gardening (the gloves were a dead giveaway).
“Do you have a castle and money?” Asked Benylin, who was much more shrewd than her father.
“Well, I have money, but I live in my father’s castle and was looking for a place to move to, actually….”
“Ah, what the heck, I’m not picky, you can come and live with me.”
And so they were married. Benylin became Princess Benylin and lived happily ever after with the prince in their tower. As for her father, well, Benylin had told the king about her and her sisters and although shocked by the audacity of locking his daughters up, the king approved of the plans and had him made a chief politician in the council.
Now a major GAD winning success in over seventeen countries, in six of which they don't even have microwaves! *Weeps salty tears of joy*
Ahem. When you do become a famous writer don't tell anyone about this story :D
I got the impression that someones children were suffering with colds. Poor lambs.
I got the impression that someones children were suffering with colds. Poor lambs.
Haha excellent :D
I especially liked the way they were named after non prescription drugs ;)
Though I have to wonder if you've been reading Rapunsel recently...
I especially liked the way they were named after non prescription drugs ;)
Though I have to wonder if you've been reading Rapunsel recently...
Once upon a time, quite a long time ago, there was a man who had 3 daughters. He was a poor man and couldn’t keep his daughters fed, so he hatched a plan to make use of them instead.
He’d read enough newspapers to know that there were a fair few princes who would take the opportunity to rescue any damsel in distress, as they usually turned out to be princesses and the law dictated that it was their duty to find and rescue any such girl.
So, he took each of his daughters and locked them in a tower, much to their protest. Had he been a shrewd man, he may have decided to rent these three spacious accommodations out to make a profit, but unfortunately he was just a simple farmer who had no idea that this type of business existed. The three towers were actually left to him by his grandmother, who collected strange buildings before she inexplicably disappeared.
The first daughter, Tixylix, waited 3 months, with only dried ham and blackbird pie to eat and no decent plumbing, before a prince arrived. She spotted him riding a large white horse as he cut through the compulsory placed brambles to reach the castle.
“Oh, please kind sir, save me from this tower where I have been imprisoned by a wicked witch.”
The prince rode up and found that the door was actually unlocked and pretty easy to open. He ran up the stairs and was straight away hit by the stench of waste (well, there was no plumbing, so what do you expect?). Fighting past this, he reached the room where the ‘princess’ lay waiting.
“Don’t worry princess. Here I am to save you. Please sign this waiver form protecting me from being sued in the event of any damage or accident that may occur on our escape.”
Tixylix looked hard at her rescuer, there was something not quite right about him. For one he wore what looked like a nun’s habit under his chainmail and what was more, the prince’s manly beared didn’t look altogether real. The prince saw this.
“Ah yes. You’ve guessed by now I’m not a real prince. I’m actually a nun from the convent down the road. There are so few princes that the local council hired us to save the growing number of damsels in distress. We get to hire many of them in return.”
And so Tixylix went to join the nuns in the convent.
The second daughter, Calpol, waited slightly longer, but had a slightly better tower with full plumbing, hot water and a nice sea view. Eventually she had a visitor, but it wasn’t a prince, it was a black cat.
“I don’t suppose you have need of an old black cat, do you?” said the cat. “As you can see, I can converse and have been known to lead to many an adventure in my time. But I have grown old and no-one has need of my services any longer. I have, however, found where the gold at the end of the rainbow is stored and I wondered whether you would like to come with me to find it?”
Calpol took heart and agreed to wonder the world with the cat, looking for adventure. So they set off across the sea to find the end of the rainbow.
The third daughter, Benylin, had the nicest tower. This not only had the full plumbing and was fully carpeted, but it also had a built in home entertainment system (in the form of a live-in lyre player and actor, who couldn’t find other work due to his peg-leg providing him with limited acting opportunities). She was quite happy waiting for a prince as she also had an allotment at the back of the tower, where she would happily gather food each day.
One day she was out picking aubergines, when she heard a horse pull up beside the tower.
“Hello! Anyone home?” said a manly voice.
She went to see who it was and was greeted by the sight of a small, not so handsome prince.
“Hi! I’m prince Herbert. Do you need rescuing?” Said the bemused prince, who’s brain was just getting around the idea that she wasn’t actually imprisoned as such and actually seemed to be gardening (the gloves were a dead giveaway).
“Do you have a castle and money?” Asked Benylin, who was much more shrewd than her father.
“Well, I have money, but I live in my father’s castle and was looking for a place to move to, actually….”
“Ah, what the heck, I’m not picky, you can come and live with me.”
And so they were married. Benylin became Princess Benylin and lived happily ever after with the prince in their tower. As for her father, well, Benylin had told the king about her and her sisters and although shocked by the audacity of locking his daughters up, the king approved of the plans and had him made a chief politician in the council.
Now a major GAD winning success in over seventeen countries, in six of which they don't even have microwaves! *Weeps salty tears of joy*
He’d read enough newspapers to know that there were a fair few princes who would take the opportunity to rescue any damsel in distress, as they usually turned out to be princesses and the law dictated that it was their duty to find and rescue any such girl.
So, he took each of his daughters and locked them in a tower, much to their protest. Had he been a shrewd man, he may have decided to rent these three spacious accommodations out to make a profit, but unfortunately he was just a simple farmer who had no idea that this type of business existed. The three towers were actually left to him by his grandmother, who collected strange buildings before she inexplicably disappeared.
The first daughter, Tixylix, waited 3 months, with only dried ham and blackbird pie to eat and no decent plumbing, before a prince arrived. She spotted him riding a large white horse as he cut through the compulsory placed brambles to reach the castle.
“Oh, please kind sir, save me from this tower where I have been imprisoned by a wicked witch.”
The prince rode up and found that the door was actually unlocked and pretty easy to open. He ran up the stairs and was straight away hit by the stench of waste (well, there was no plumbing, so what do you expect?). Fighting past this, he reached the room where the ‘princess’ lay waiting.
“Don’t worry princess. Here I am to save you. Please sign this waiver form protecting me from being sued in the event of any damage or accident that may occur on our escape.”
Tixylix looked hard at her rescuer, there was something not quite right about him. For one he wore what looked like a nun’s habit under his chainmail and what was more, the prince’s manly beared didn’t look altogether real. The prince saw this.
“Ah yes. You’ve guessed by now I’m not a real prince. I’m actually a nun from the convent down the road. There are so few princes that the local council hired us to save the growing number of damsels in distress. We get to hire many of them in return.”
And so Tixylix went to join the nuns in the convent.
The second daughter, Calpol, waited slightly longer, but had a slightly better tower with full plumbing, hot water and a nice sea view. Eventually she had a visitor, but it wasn’t a prince, it was a black cat.
“I don’t suppose you have need of an old black cat, do you?” said the cat. “As you can see, I can converse and have been known to lead to many an adventure in my time. But I have grown old and no-one has need of my services any longer. I have, however, found where the gold at the end of the rainbow is stored and I wondered whether you would like to come with me to find it?”
Calpol took heart and agreed to wonder the world with the cat, looking for adventure. So they set off across the sea to find the end of the rainbow.
The third daughter, Benylin, had the nicest tower. This not only had the full plumbing and was fully carpeted, but it also had a built in home entertainment system (in the form of a live-in lyre player and actor, who couldn’t find other work due to his peg-leg providing him with limited acting opportunities). She was quite happy waiting for a prince as she also had an allotment at the back of the tower, where she would happily gather food each day.
One day she was out picking aubergines, when she heard a horse pull up beside the tower.
“Hello! Anyone home?” said a manly voice.
She went to see who it was and was greeted by the sight of a small, not so handsome prince.
“Hi! I’m prince Herbert. Do you need rescuing?” Said the bemused prince, who’s brain was just getting around the idea that she wasn’t actually imprisoned as such and actually seemed to be gardening (the gloves were a dead giveaway).
“Do you have a castle and money?” Asked Benylin, who was much more shrewd than her father.
“Well, I have money, but I live in my father’s castle and was looking for a place to move to, actually….”
“Ah, what the heck, I’m not picky, you can come and live with me.”
And so they were married. Benylin became Princess Benylin and lived happily ever after with the prince in their tower. As for her father, well, Benylin had told the king about her and her sisters and although shocked by the audacity of locking his daughters up, the king approved of the plans and had him made a chief politician in the council.
Now a major GAD winning success in over seventeen countries, in six of which they don't even have microwaves! *Weeps salty tears of joy*