The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a few minutes he starts dialing numbers...like a telephone...but on the back of his hand. He then flips his hand over and starts talking into the palm of his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble from weirdos here. The guy says "You don't understand, I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it!", so the guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a brief conversation. "That's incredible" says the bartender, "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah" said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in, and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst, given the violence in the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. The guy is spread-eagle against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper shoved up his butt. "Oh my God!" said the bartender. "Did the locals rob you" Are you hurt?" The guy casually turns around and says, "No, I'm OK. I'm just waiting for a fax."
An extremely shy and modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his digestive system upset. Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided that the latest was another false alarm, so he stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. Loosing his preference of mind he jumped up, gathered up the bad sheets , and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started to yell and curse and swing his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood ther staring down at the sheets a security gaurd who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked,"What was all that about?" Still staring down at his feet, the drunk replied:"I think i just beat the crap out of a ghost!"
After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced! When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All of this was just too wonderful for words", he said; "But what's the dollar for"? "Well", she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said; "Screw him. Give him a dollar". "The breakfast was my idea!!"
An extremely shy and modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his digestive system upset. Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided that the latest was another false alarm, so he stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. Loosing his preference of mind he jumped up, gathered up the bad sheets , and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started to yell and curse and swing his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood ther staring down at the sheets a security gaurd who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked,"What was all that about?" Still staring down at his feet, the drunk replied:"I think i just beat the crap out of a ghost!"
After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced! When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All of this was just too wonderful for words", he said; "But what's the dollar for"? "Well", she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said; "Screw him. Give him a dollar". "The breakfast was my idea!!"
Heh very good.
The second one was a bit err dodgy though.
:0)
The second one was a bit err dodgy though.
:0)
LOL!
Excellent.
Excellent.
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a few minutes he starts dialing numbers...like a telephone...but on the back of his hand. He then flips his hand over and starts talking into the palm of his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble from weirdos here. The guy says "You don't understand, I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it!", so the guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a brief conversation. "That's incredible" says the bartender, "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah" said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in, and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst, given the violence in the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. The guy is spread-eagle against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper shoved up his butt. "Oh my God!" said the bartender. "Did the locals rob you" Are you hurt?" The guy casually turns around and says, "No, I'm OK. I'm just waiting for a fax."
An extremely shy and modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his digestive system upset. Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided that the latest was another false alarm, so he stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. Loosing his preference of mind he jumped up, gathered up the bad sheets , and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started to yell and curse and swing his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood ther staring down at the sheets a security gaurd who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked,"What was all that about?" Still staring down at his feet, the drunk replied:"I think i just beat the crap out of a ghost!"
After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced! When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All of this was just too wonderful for words", he said; "But what's the dollar for"? "Well", she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said; "Screw him. Give him a dollar". "The breakfast was my idea!!"
An extremely shy and modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his digestive system upset. Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided that the latest was another false alarm, so he stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. Loosing his preference of mind he jumped up, gathered up the bad sheets , and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started to yell and curse and swing his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood ther staring down at the sheets a security gaurd who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked,"What was all that about?" Still staring down at his feet, the drunk replied:"I think i just beat the crap out of a ghost!"
After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced! When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All of this was just too wonderful for words", he said; "But what's the dollar for"? "Well", she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said; "Screw him. Give him a dollar". "The breakfast was my idea!!"