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Nintendo have responded to the surge in demand for X-boxes, following Bill Gates' promise to bomb the Big Brother house if one million were sold, by launching a subversive advertising campaign FOR the X-box. One look at the advert reveals its devastating power to cripple X-box sales, and it can be seen here:
http://geocities.com/mrohappy/adcampaign.html
Yes, Nintendo co-opted one Fred Durst into advertising their arch-rival's product. Advertising guru Max Clifford dreamt up the idea after conducting lengthy surveys to find who the world's most hated figure was. Two thousand ASDA shoppers were presented with a variable current control wired up to a chipmunk, a mask was then put on the chipmunk so that it resembled a series of figues including Osama Bin Laden, Margaret Thatcher, Fred Durst and Tanya Brier, and shoppers were asked to alter the current according to their hate of the figure in question. Clifford was stunned to discover that 1999 of the shoppers induced a lethal current on the chipmunk when it bore Durst's visage, with only one person not killing the chipmunk after turning the dial so vehemently it was broken. The man in question then proceeded to stamp the chipmunk to death.
Unable to ignore such shocking statistics Clifford took the data to Nintendo who commissioned Clifford to incorporate the idea into an advert for X-boxes. The advert has been on the streets for under a day and already the sales of x-boxes have plummeted to zero. In Kent there are even recorded incidents of pyres being erected on to which existing x-box owners have thrown their consoles. One boy aged 14 voiced the concerns of many asking, "what would have happened if I was playing on-line then Fred Durst entered my game? The very thought sickens me, I couldn't live with myself if that happened. Even having the console in the house is a risk so I've brought it here to burn it."
Meanwhile the News of the World has said that tomorrow it will run the names of all shops stocking X-boxes in the interests of public safety. Already angry protestors in Luton have bricked in the windows of shops seen to be selling x-boxes. One Dixons outlet was even petrol-bombed after a shop assistant was seen knowingly selling X-boxes to children unaware of developments. In a statement released just hours ago, the Game chain has announced that it will no longer continue to sell X-boxes after staff threatened to walk out if they had to share a shop with the console. Union representative Hank Marvin said: "I cannot believe that Game even considered for a moment forcing its staff to work under such horrific conditions. I'm relieved that they've finally come to this decision, but there hesitation has cost the lives of two of our members who committed suicide rather than perjure their integrity in selling another x-box."
Microsoft has declared a state of emergency following the campaign, which industry analysts predict will see the world supply of X-boxes disappear in 6 months. Spokesman Ron Jeremy commented:
"The damage has already been done. There's nothing we can do to stifle this campaign but we can limit the damage. As we speak Bill Gates is in talks with Clutch singer Neil Fallon to try and get him to write Limp Bizkit's next album and so restore the group's credibility. There's an upper limit of $1 billion, I mean we wouldn't even consider paying less for someone to help Limp Bizkit."
Nintendo meanwhile were bullish. Riding on a donkey, Shigeru Miyamoto, commented that "Microsoft had it coming, the taste of victory is oh-so sweet!". Sales of Gamecubes have been seen to rocket as many shop-floor assistants try to ward parents away from the evils of the x-box. Several powerful lobbies have also thrown their weight behind Nintendo, in a combined effort "to rid the world of that most loathsome man". America's National Rifle Association has agreed to buy one Gamecube for every gun bought in the US next week, while Save the Children has vowed to set up vigilante groups to track down Microsoft employees and bring them to popular justice. Nintendo will probably be most pleased at the statement currently being made by President George Bush on US tv. Having been advised by monkeys to back the Gamecube over the PS2, Bush told Americans that they had to buy Gamecubes if the threat of the X-box was to be eradicated:
"You may have noticed the axis has an 'X' in it. Two months ago when I spoke of the axis of evil, I included the X-box in this list of threats to America's security. You didn't listen then, but maybe you will now. We must do everything in our power to rid the world of this most dangerous and evil entity."
Durst himself took time out from being pummelled by a crowd of hundreds in a Conneticut shopping mall to say this:
"And now I know why you wanna hate me cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately"
Fortunately he was felled by a dropkick before he had a chance to further contaminate this reporter.
Updates to follow as the situation develops.
http://geocities.com/mrohappy/adcampaign.html
Yes, Nintendo co-opted one Fred Durst into advertising their arch-rival's product. Advertising guru Max Clifford dreamt up the idea after conducting lengthy surveys to find who the world's most hated figure was. Two thousand ASDA shoppers were presented with a variable current control wired up to a chipmunk, a mask was then put on the chipmunk so that it resembled a series of figues including Osama Bin Laden, Margaret Thatcher, Fred Durst and Tanya Brier, and shoppers were asked to alter the current according to their hate of the figure in question. Clifford was stunned to discover that 1999 of the shoppers induced a lethal current on the chipmunk when it bore Durst's visage, with only one person not killing the chipmunk after turning the dial so vehemently it was broken. The man in question then proceeded to stamp the chipmunk to death.
Unable to ignore such shocking statistics Clifford took the data to Nintendo who commissioned Clifford to incorporate the idea into an advert for X-boxes. The advert has been on the streets for under a day and already the sales of x-boxes have plummeted to zero. In Kent there are even recorded incidents of pyres being erected on to which existing x-box owners have thrown their consoles. One boy aged 14 voiced the concerns of many asking, "what would have happened if I was playing on-line then Fred Durst entered my game? The very thought sickens me, I couldn't live with myself if that happened. Even having the console in the house is a risk so I've brought it here to burn it."
Meanwhile the News of the World has said that tomorrow it will run the names of all shops stocking X-boxes in the interests of public safety. Already angry protestors in Luton have bricked in the windows of shops seen to be selling x-boxes. One Dixons outlet was even petrol-bombed after a shop assistant was seen knowingly selling X-boxes to children unaware of developments. In a statement released just hours ago, the Game chain has announced that it will no longer continue to sell X-boxes after staff threatened to walk out if they had to share a shop with the console. Union representative Hank Marvin said: "I cannot believe that Game even considered for a moment forcing its staff to work under such horrific conditions. I'm relieved that they've finally come to this decision, but there hesitation has cost the lives of two of our members who committed suicide rather than perjure their integrity in selling another x-box."
Microsoft has declared a state of emergency following the campaign, which industry analysts predict will see the world supply of X-boxes disappear in 6 months. Spokesman Ron Jeremy commented:
"The damage has already been done. There's nothing we can do to stifle this campaign but we can limit the damage. As we speak Bill Gates is in talks with Clutch singer Neil Fallon to try and get him to write Limp Bizkit's next album and so restore the group's credibility. There's an upper limit of $1 billion, I mean we wouldn't even consider paying less for someone to help Limp Bizkit."
Nintendo meanwhile were bullish. Riding on a donkey, Shigeru Miyamoto, commented that "Microsoft had it coming, the taste of victory is oh-so sweet!". Sales of Gamecubes have been seen to rocket as many shop-floor assistants try to ward parents away from the evils of the x-box. Several powerful lobbies have also thrown their weight behind Nintendo, in a combined effort "to rid the world of that most loathsome man". America's National Rifle Association has agreed to buy one Gamecube for every gun bought in the US next week, while Save the Children has vowed to set up vigilante groups to track down Microsoft employees and bring them to popular justice. Nintendo will probably be most pleased at the statement currently being made by President George Bush on US tv. Having been advised by monkeys to back the Gamecube over the PS2, Bush told Americans that they had to buy Gamecubes if the threat of the X-box was to be eradicated:
"You may have noticed the axis has an 'X' in it. Two months ago when I spoke of the axis of evil, I included the X-box in this list of threats to America's security. You didn't listen then, but maybe you will now. We must do everything in our power to rid the world of this most dangerous and evil entity."
Durst himself took time out from being pummelled by a crowd of hundreds in a Conneticut shopping mall to say this:
"And now I know why you wanna hate me cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately"
Fortunately he was felled by a dropkick before he had a chance to further contaminate this reporter.
Updates to follow as the situation develops.
Nintendo have responded to the surge in demand for X-boxes, following Bill Gates' promise to bomb the Big Brother house if one million were sold, by launching a subversive advertising campaign FOR the X-box. One look at the advert reveals its devastating power to cripple X-box sales, and it can be seen here:
http://geocities.com/mrohappy/adcampaign.html
Yes, Nintendo co-opted one Fred Durst into advertising their arch-rival's product. Advertising guru Max Clifford dreamt up the idea after conducting lengthy surveys to find who the world's most hated figure was. Two thousand ASDA shoppers were presented with a variable current control wired up to a chipmunk, a mask was then put on the chipmunk so that it resembled a series of figues including Osama Bin Laden, Margaret Thatcher, Fred Durst and Tanya Brier, and shoppers were asked to alter the current according to their hate of the figure in question. Clifford was stunned to discover that 1999 of the shoppers induced a lethal current on the chipmunk when it bore Durst's visage, with only one person not killing the chipmunk after turning the dial so vehemently it was broken. The man in question then proceeded to stamp the chipmunk to death.
Unable to ignore such shocking statistics Clifford took the data to Nintendo who commissioned Clifford to incorporate the idea into an advert for X-boxes. The advert has been on the streets for under a day and already the sales of x-boxes have plummeted to zero. In Kent there are even recorded incidents of pyres being erected on to which existing x-box owners have thrown their consoles. One boy aged 14 voiced the concerns of many asking, "what would have happened if I was playing on-line then Fred Durst entered my game? The very thought sickens me, I couldn't live with myself if that happened. Even having the console in the house is a risk so I've brought it here to burn it."
Meanwhile the News of the World has said that tomorrow it will run the names of all shops stocking X-boxes in the interests of public safety. Already angry protestors in Luton have bricked in the windows of shops seen to be selling x-boxes. One Dixons outlet was even petrol-bombed after a shop assistant was seen knowingly selling X-boxes to children unaware of developments. In a statement released just hours ago, the Game chain has announced that it will no longer continue to sell X-boxes after staff threatened to walk out if they had to share a shop with the console. Union representative Hank Marvin said: "I cannot believe that Game even considered for a moment forcing its staff to work under such horrific conditions. I'm relieved that they've finally come to this decision, but there hesitation has cost the lives of two of our members who committed suicide rather than perjure their integrity in selling another x-box."
Microsoft has declared a state of emergency following the campaign, which industry analysts predict will see the world supply of X-boxes disappear in 6 months. Spokesman Ron Jeremy commented:
"The damage has already been done. There's nothing we can do to stifle this campaign but we can limit the damage. As we speak Bill Gates is in talks with Clutch singer Neil Fallon to try and get him to write Limp Bizkit's next album and so restore the group's credibility. There's an upper limit of $1 billion, I mean we wouldn't even consider paying less for someone to help Limp Bizkit."
Nintendo meanwhile were bullish. Riding on a donkey, Shigeru Miyamoto, commented that "Microsoft had it coming, the taste of victory is oh-so sweet!". Sales of Gamecubes have been seen to rocket as many shop-floor assistants try to ward parents away from the evils of the x-box. Several powerful lobbies have also thrown their weight behind Nintendo, in a combined effort "to rid the world of that most loathsome man". America's National Rifle Association has agreed to buy one Gamecube for every gun bought in the US next week, while Save the Children has vowed to set up vigilante groups to track down Microsoft employees and bring them to popular justice. Nintendo will probably be most pleased at the statement currently being made by President George Bush on US tv. Having been advised by monkeys to back the Gamecube over the PS2, Bush told Americans that they had to buy Gamecubes if the threat of the X-box was to be eradicated:
"You may have noticed the axis has an 'X' in it. Two months ago when I spoke of the axis of evil, I included the X-box in this list of threats to America's security. You didn't listen then, but maybe you will now. We must do everything in our power to rid the world of this most dangerous and evil entity."
Durst himself took time out from being pummelled by a crowd of hundreds in a Conneticut shopping mall to say this:
"And now I know why you wanna hate me cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately"
Fortunately he was felled by a dropkick before he had a chance to further contaminate this reporter.
Updates to follow as the situation develops.
http://geocities.com/mrohappy/adcampaign.html
Yes, Nintendo co-opted one Fred Durst into advertising their arch-rival's product. Advertising guru Max Clifford dreamt up the idea after conducting lengthy surveys to find who the world's most hated figure was. Two thousand ASDA shoppers were presented with a variable current control wired up to a chipmunk, a mask was then put on the chipmunk so that it resembled a series of figues including Osama Bin Laden, Margaret Thatcher, Fred Durst and Tanya Brier, and shoppers were asked to alter the current according to their hate of the figure in question. Clifford was stunned to discover that 1999 of the shoppers induced a lethal current on the chipmunk when it bore Durst's visage, with only one person not killing the chipmunk after turning the dial so vehemently it was broken. The man in question then proceeded to stamp the chipmunk to death.
Unable to ignore such shocking statistics Clifford took the data to Nintendo who commissioned Clifford to incorporate the idea into an advert for X-boxes. The advert has been on the streets for under a day and already the sales of x-boxes have plummeted to zero. In Kent there are even recorded incidents of pyres being erected on to which existing x-box owners have thrown their consoles. One boy aged 14 voiced the concerns of many asking, "what would have happened if I was playing on-line then Fred Durst entered my game? The very thought sickens me, I couldn't live with myself if that happened. Even having the console in the house is a risk so I've brought it here to burn it."
Meanwhile the News of the World has said that tomorrow it will run the names of all shops stocking X-boxes in the interests of public safety. Already angry protestors in Luton have bricked in the windows of shops seen to be selling x-boxes. One Dixons outlet was even petrol-bombed after a shop assistant was seen knowingly selling X-boxes to children unaware of developments. In a statement released just hours ago, the Game chain has announced that it will no longer continue to sell X-boxes after staff threatened to walk out if they had to share a shop with the console. Union representative Hank Marvin said: "I cannot believe that Game even considered for a moment forcing its staff to work under such horrific conditions. I'm relieved that they've finally come to this decision, but there hesitation has cost the lives of two of our members who committed suicide rather than perjure their integrity in selling another x-box."
Microsoft has declared a state of emergency following the campaign, which industry analysts predict will see the world supply of X-boxes disappear in 6 months. Spokesman Ron Jeremy commented:
"The damage has already been done. There's nothing we can do to stifle this campaign but we can limit the damage. As we speak Bill Gates is in talks with Clutch singer Neil Fallon to try and get him to write Limp Bizkit's next album and so restore the group's credibility. There's an upper limit of $1 billion, I mean we wouldn't even consider paying less for someone to help Limp Bizkit."
Nintendo meanwhile were bullish. Riding on a donkey, Shigeru Miyamoto, commented that "Microsoft had it coming, the taste of victory is oh-so sweet!". Sales of Gamecubes have been seen to rocket as many shop-floor assistants try to ward parents away from the evils of the x-box. Several powerful lobbies have also thrown their weight behind Nintendo, in a combined effort "to rid the world of that most loathsome man". America's National Rifle Association has agreed to buy one Gamecube for every gun bought in the US next week, while Save the Children has vowed to set up vigilante groups to track down Microsoft employees and bring them to popular justice. Nintendo will probably be most pleased at the statement currently being made by President George Bush on US tv. Having been advised by monkeys to back the Gamecube over the PS2, Bush told Americans that they had to buy Gamecubes if the threat of the X-box was to be eradicated:
"You may have noticed the axis has an 'X' in it. Two months ago when I spoke of the axis of evil, I included the X-box in this list of threats to America's security. You didn't listen then, but maybe you will now. We must do everything in our power to rid the world of this most dangerous and evil entity."
Durst himself took time out from being pummelled by a crowd of hundreds in a Conneticut shopping mall to say this:
"And now I know why you wanna hate me cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately"
Fortunately he was felled by a dropkick before he had a chance to further contaminate this reporter.
Updates to follow as the situation develops.
Brilliant!
How do you think up such classy stuff???
:D
How do you think up such classy stuff???
:D
I have too much free time :-)
Well theres certainly at least 1 extra GC on the shelf to be bought - took mine back today and traded it in.
AfroJoe wrote:
> Brilliant!
>
> How do you think up such classy stuff???
>
> :D
hes clever
and hes gonna film our bands video !
> Brilliant!
>
> How do you think up such classy stuff???
>
> :D
hes clever
and hes gonna film our bands video !
LOL LOL and LOL again!!!
"Clifford was stunned to discover that 1999 of the shoppers induced a lethal current on the chipmunk when it bore Durst's visage, with only one person not killing the chipmunk after turning the dial so vehemently it was broken. The man in question then proceeded to stamp the chipmunk to death."
Absolutely bloody classic!!!
"Clifford was stunned to discover that 1999 of the shoppers induced a lethal current on the chipmunk when it bore Durst's visage, with only one person not killing the chipmunk after turning the dial so vehemently it was broken. The man in question then proceeded to stamp the chipmunk to death."
Absolutely bloody classic!!!
-----NEWSFLASH-----
Talks with Clutch's Neil Fallon have collapsed leaving Microsoft with a near-unsellable console. Following the News of the World name and shame campaign, 99.8% of UK retailers have stopped selling the console with only one store affiliated with Durst's Interscope label still selling X-boxes. However, in line with health and safety regulations, staff and customers were given disinfectant to use following any sales.
One employee of a top internet mail-order companyrevealed that sales for the gamecube were rocketing. Speaking through a mime-artist he expressed "Demand for the X-box has plummetted so sharply that e've just replaced the ordering page with a news story about monkeys an playstations, but at the same time people can barely get on to our Gamecube page. It's a smorgasbord of cheese" at this point the interview broke down as the mime-artist was increasingly unable to communicate the message through his silent medium.
Meanwhile Alvin, Simon and Theodore have released a new record, comemorating the lives of the 2000 chipmunks that died while wearing Fred Durst masks. Entitled "Red Cap Dead Cap", the single is expected to hit number one by the weekend, although its expletive-ridden lyrics are raising eyebrowsto record levels in Somerset, one man's eyebrow became detached from his face after being risen greatly upon hearing the following lyrics:
"It goes a-one, two, three
Another f****** red cap
Started as a bum on the sidewalk
And now chipmunks make Durst take another look
My brothers ya hear and ya begin to fear
That ya face will get pulped if ya interfere"
The song then proceeds to tell Durst that he's going to "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn". The cover can be seen at:
http://www.geocities.com/mrohappy/adcampaign.html
Updates to follow..
Talks with Clutch's Neil Fallon have collapsed leaving Microsoft with a near-unsellable console. Following the News of the World name and shame campaign, 99.8% of UK retailers have stopped selling the console with only one store affiliated with Durst's Interscope label still selling X-boxes. However, in line with health and safety regulations, staff and customers were given disinfectant to use following any sales.
One employee of a top internet mail-order companyrevealed that sales for the gamecube were rocketing. Speaking through a mime-artist he expressed "Demand for the X-box has plummetted so sharply that e've just replaced the ordering page with a news story about monkeys an playstations, but at the same time people can barely get on to our Gamecube page. It's a smorgasbord of cheese" at this point the interview broke down as the mime-artist was increasingly unable to communicate the message through his silent medium.
Meanwhile Alvin, Simon and Theodore have released a new record, comemorating the lives of the 2000 chipmunks that died while wearing Fred Durst masks. Entitled "Red Cap Dead Cap", the single is expected to hit number one by the weekend, although its expletive-ridden lyrics are raising eyebrowsto record levels in Somerset, one man's eyebrow became detached from his face after being risen greatly upon hearing the following lyrics:
"It goes a-one, two, three
Another f****** red cap
Started as a bum on the sidewalk
And now chipmunks make Durst take another look
My brothers ya hear and ya begin to fear
That ya face will get pulped if ya interfere"
The song then proceeds to tell Durst that he's going to "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn". The cover can be seen at:
http://www.geocities.com/mrohappy/adcampaign.html
Updates to follow..