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Not really sure that's the right title, but I felt like saying sorry. For although it's only the internet and it's not as if I feel forced to come here, but I haven't been around recently. Perhaps that's my problem. Not being around to discover enough. Giving up to soon and worrying about the consequences.
This ain't gonna be a long post, for I think it's all going wrong for me and someone up there don't like me. On Monday, I get food poisoning from going to a BBQ and become rather sick, and this was the first time in 3 years. Then, the same day, the person I think I perhaps care about more then myself, tells me she doesn't feel the same way. "Move on, get over it" says so many people, but it ain't that easy. Situations that come to mind, about just how awkward it's not going to be around her, make it unbearable. Is there any point going on, if you're unwanted? Of course there is, independance is not only natural, but it's a gift. Showing you don't need others to live. Well, that would be the optimistic view, but I ain't too optimistic at the moment.
Then ("Now here's the creme de la creme") my cable connecting to my iBook, which just happens to supply the power, happened to break last night. Yep. How nice. This means that I have currently got around 4 hours of battery life left, then nothing. Now, this wouldn't of been such a problem a year back, but once I get into something, I tend to take it a bit too far, and computers are now my life. From spending all my times on the forums, to buying my own website, to spending £220 on web design books, to helping people out, to changing the person I am. It's all come through communication over the net.
All sounds like a long distant goodbye, which of course sounds rather sad. "It's only a computer, after all". But, it's got all my g'damn work on it. All my school work, all my designs, all my ideas, everything that makes me me, is being somewhat converscated from me.
So, let's see a nice ending to this. Ring up Apple, they repair it . Go to school, talk to her, pretend it doesn't matter. Get better. Think clear, think positive and just don't think too much.
Reality: It'll take someone 6 weeks to repair it. I'll never talk to her around and end up in spiral of depression. I'll get worse, I'll become not just psychically, but mentally ill. I'll sit alone. Thinking.
This ain't gonna be a long post, for I think it's all going wrong for me and someone up there don't like me. On Monday, I get food poisoning from going to a BBQ and become rather sick, and this was the first time in 3 years. Then, the same day, the person I think I perhaps care about more then myself, tells me she doesn't feel the same way. "Move on, get over it" says so many people, but it ain't that easy. Situations that come to mind, about just how awkward it's not going to be around her, make it unbearable. Is there any point going on, if you're unwanted? Of course there is, independance is not only natural, but it's a gift. Showing you don't need others to live. Well, that would be the optimistic view, but I ain't too optimistic at the moment.
Then ("Now here's the creme de la creme") my cable connecting to my iBook, which just happens to supply the power, happened to break last night. Yep. How nice. This means that I have currently got around 4 hours of battery life left, then nothing. Now, this wouldn't of been such a problem a year back, but once I get into something, I tend to take it a bit too far, and computers are now my life. From spending all my times on the forums, to buying my own website, to spending £220 on web design books, to helping people out, to changing the person I am. It's all come through communication over the net.
All sounds like a long distant goodbye, which of course sounds rather sad. "It's only a computer, after all". But, it's got all my g'damn work on it. All my school work, all my designs, all my ideas, everything that makes me me, is being somewhat converscated from me.
So, let's see a nice ending to this. Ring up Apple, they repair it . Go to school, talk to her, pretend it doesn't matter. Get better. Think clear, think positive and just don't think too much.
Reality: It'll take someone 6 weeks to repair it. I'll never talk to her around and end up in spiral of depression. I'll get worse, I'll become not just psychically, but mentally ill. I'll sit alone. Thinking.
Mr. Nice Guy wrote:
...once I get into
> something, I tend to take it a bit too far, and computers are now my
> life. From spending all my times on the forums, to buying my own
> website, to spending £220 on web design books, to helping people
> out, to changing the person I am. It's all come through communication
> over the net.
No offence or anything, but don't you have parents to tell you to come off the computer and do something else? Or are you of the age where they can't tell you what to do? I remember when I was 13, I had a computer and I was on it day and night, but my dad always made me come off after a few hours, and that used to peeve me off. Now, it's my girlfriend who does the same :P
Anyway, It'll get better mate, just stick at whatever you love and you'll get by.
...once I get into
> something, I tend to take it a bit too far, and computers are now my
> life. From spending all my times on the forums, to buying my own
> website, to spending £220 on web design books, to helping people
> out, to changing the person I am. It's all come through communication
> over the net.
No offence or anything, but don't you have parents to tell you to come off the computer and do something else? Or are you of the age where they can't tell you what to do? I remember when I was 13, I had a computer and I was on it day and night, but my dad always made me come off after a few hours, and that used to peeve me off. Now, it's my girlfriend who does the same :P
Anyway, It'll get better mate, just stick at whatever you love and you'll get by.
I could tell you things will get better. I don't know that. But I could tell you. Maybe I should, maybe it'd make you feel better, maybe it wouldn't. It's easy for me to say "It'll all get better soon", I'm not experiencing it.
But what I do know is you won't lose who you are. I spose we all have something we feel defines us, makes us who we are. But you, yourself is the most important thing. The thoughts, ideas, emotions inside you. Some of them may be recorded somewhere, but the most important place they can be is inside of you, not a PC or a notebook.
I hope things will get better.
But what I do know is you won't lose who you are. I spose we all have something we feel defines us, makes us who we are. But you, yourself is the most important thing. The thoughts, ideas, emotions inside you. Some of them may be recorded somewhere, but the most important place they can be is inside of you, not a PC or a notebook.
I hope things will get better.
The thing to remember is this:
At least I'm not German
At least I'm not German
We all have our bad times. They'll pass.
Things WILL get better. Just try not to get bogged down with all of the crap that can sometimes come at you, get it all of your chest if it helps.
In life there are always low points, some people's are lower than others, but there are also high points too. Just ride out the bad and you'll come back tothe good soon enough.
In life there are always low points, some people's are lower than others, but there are also high points too. Just ride out the bad and you'll come back tothe good soon enough.
Not really sure that's the right title, but I felt like saying sorry. For although it's only the internet and it's not as if I feel forced to come here, but I haven't been around recently. Perhaps that's my problem. Not being around to discover enough. Giving up to soon and worrying about the consequences.
This ain't gonna be a long post, for I think it's all going wrong for me and someone up there don't like me. On Monday, I get food poisoning from going to a BBQ and become rather sick, and this was the first time in 3 years. Then, the same day, the person I think I perhaps care about more then myself, tells me she doesn't feel the same way. "Move on, get over it" says so many people, but it ain't that easy. Situations that come to mind, about just how awkward it's not going to be around her, make it unbearable. Is there any point going on, if you're unwanted? Of course there is, independance is not only natural, but it's a gift. Showing you don't need others to live. Well, that would be the optimistic view, but I ain't too optimistic at the moment.
Then ("Now here's the creme de la creme") my cable connecting to my iBook, which just happens to supply the power, happened to break last night. Yep. How nice. This means that I have currently got around 4 hours of battery life left, then nothing. Now, this wouldn't of been such a problem a year back, but once I get into something, I tend to take it a bit too far, and computers are now my life. From spending all my times on the forums, to buying my own website, to spending £220 on web design books, to helping people out, to changing the person I am. It's all come through communication over the net.
All sounds like a long distant goodbye, which of course sounds rather sad. "It's only a computer, after all". But, it's got all my g'damn work on it. All my school work, all my designs, all my ideas, everything that makes me me, is being somewhat converscated from me.
So, let's see a nice ending to this. Ring up Apple, they repair it . Go to school, talk to her, pretend it doesn't matter. Get better. Think clear, think positive and just don't think too much.
Reality: It'll take someone 6 weeks to repair it. I'll never talk to her around and end up in spiral of depression. I'll get worse, I'll become not just psychically, but mentally ill. I'll sit alone. Thinking.
This ain't gonna be a long post, for I think it's all going wrong for me and someone up there don't like me. On Monday, I get food poisoning from going to a BBQ and become rather sick, and this was the first time in 3 years. Then, the same day, the person I think I perhaps care about more then myself, tells me she doesn't feel the same way. "Move on, get over it" says so many people, but it ain't that easy. Situations that come to mind, about just how awkward it's not going to be around her, make it unbearable. Is there any point going on, if you're unwanted? Of course there is, independance is not only natural, but it's a gift. Showing you don't need others to live. Well, that would be the optimistic view, but I ain't too optimistic at the moment.
Then ("Now here's the creme de la creme") my cable connecting to my iBook, which just happens to supply the power, happened to break last night. Yep. How nice. This means that I have currently got around 4 hours of battery life left, then nothing. Now, this wouldn't of been such a problem a year back, but once I get into something, I tend to take it a bit too far, and computers are now my life. From spending all my times on the forums, to buying my own website, to spending £220 on web design books, to helping people out, to changing the person I am. It's all come through communication over the net.
All sounds like a long distant goodbye, which of course sounds rather sad. "It's only a computer, after all". But, it's got all my g'damn work on it. All my school work, all my designs, all my ideas, everything that makes me me, is being somewhat converscated from me.
So, let's see a nice ending to this. Ring up Apple, they repair it . Go to school, talk to her, pretend it doesn't matter. Get better. Think clear, think positive and just don't think too much.
Reality: It'll take someone 6 weeks to repair it. I'll never talk to her around and end up in spiral of depression. I'll get worse, I'll become not just psychically, but mentally ill. I'll sit alone. Thinking.