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Heres a monkey joke I was told yesterday:
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. First it grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then it grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then it jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little git. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later the man is back with his monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a Peanut on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a Peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!", says the barman. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball, he measures everything first!"
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. First it grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then it grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then it jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little git. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later the man is back with his monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a Peanut on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a Peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!", says the barman. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball, he measures everything first!"
LOL, that's quite good.
:D
:D
LOL
Would you tell it to a four year old?
Lol i get. How is that an adult joke?
fosbe wrote:
> I dont get it.
I think its more of an "adult" joke.
Basically, the monkey wants to make sure it'll "fit" first. As the cueball probably caused him some trouble, when it came for the ball to leave. No comprehendo?
> I dont get it.
I think its more of an "adult" joke.
Basically, the monkey wants to make sure it'll "fit" first. As the cueball probably caused him some trouble, when it came for the ball to leave. No comprehendo?
I dont get it.
hehe not bad :o).
Heres a monkey joke I was told yesterday:
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. First it grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then it grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then it jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little git. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later the man is back with his monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a Peanut on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a Peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!", says the barman. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball, he measures everything first!"
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. First it grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then it grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then it jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little git. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later the man is back with his monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a Peanut on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a Peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!", says the barman. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball, he measures everything first!"