The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Im at SR now and bored out of my skull! the fones are dead people arent chattng on the forums and i have got nothing to do, me and my supervsor need entertaining within a thread, please ... any suggestions?!
Page:
Heres a joke. I wrote this in the xbox longest thread but no one goes there. So i'll give it to you here.
EVANDER AND MIKE
Evander goes into a pub. Buys a drink and sits at the bar.......
In walks Mike Tyson.
"Hey, Evana, sorry about the bite man, can I buy you a drink?"
"No thanks, Mike, I've got one 'ere....."
Quite amusing but then theres.
THE QUEEN AND THE POPE
The Pope and the Queen were standing on a balcony in front of thousands of people. The
Queen turns to the Pope and says "I bet you I can make every
English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand." The Pope
says "No way. You can't do that." So the Queen waves her hand and every
English person in the crowd goes crazy, waving their Union Jacks and cheering, basically
going ballistic. So the Pope is standing there going "Uh oh, what am I going to do?
I never thought she'd be able to do it." So he thinks to himself for a minute
and then he turns to her and says, "I bet you I can make every IRISH person
in the crowd go wild, not just now,
but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head." The Queen goes "No way, can't be done."
So the Pope headbutts her.
I thought that was good did you?
THE PARROTT
A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating anymore
and he's lonesome, so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he walks
into happens to specializes in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices
one with no feet. Surprised, he mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"
The parrot says, "With my thing, dummy."
The guy is startled and says, "You certainly talk well for a parrot."
The parrot says, "Yes, thank you... I'm a very well educated parrot. I can discuss
politics, sports, religion, almost any subject you wish."
The guy says, "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for." The parrot replies,
"There's not much of a market for maimed parrots, you know. If you offer the
proprietor $2 for me, I'll bet he'll sell me."
The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great. Every day when he
comes home from work the parrot tells him Clinton said this, the A's won, the Giant's
lost, the Pope did so and so.
But then one day the guy comes home from work and the parrot waves a wing at
him and says, "Come in and shut the door."
The guy says, "What's up?"
The parrot says, "I don't know how to tell you this, but the mailman came today. Your
wife answered the door in her negligee and he kissed her right on the lips."
The guy says, "Oh, just a momentary flight of passion."
The parrot says, "Then he fondled her breasts." The guy says, "He did?"
"Yep," says the parrot. "Then he took off her negligee and started sucking on her
breasts." The guy exclaims, "My God, what happened next???"
The parrot says, "I don't know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
That was a quality joke. Have any of you got any tohers we ned to liven this place up a bit!!
EVANDER AND MIKE
Evander goes into a pub. Buys a drink and sits at the bar.......
In walks Mike Tyson.
"Hey, Evana, sorry about the bite man, can I buy you a drink?"
"No thanks, Mike, I've got one 'ere....."
Quite amusing but then theres.
THE QUEEN AND THE POPE
The Pope and the Queen were standing on a balcony in front of thousands of people. The
Queen turns to the Pope and says "I bet you I can make every
English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand." The Pope
says "No way. You can't do that." So the Queen waves her hand and every
English person in the crowd goes crazy, waving their Union Jacks and cheering, basically
going ballistic. So the Pope is standing there going "Uh oh, what am I going to do?
I never thought she'd be able to do it." So he thinks to himself for a minute
and then he turns to her and says, "I bet you I can make every IRISH person
in the crowd go wild, not just now,
but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head." The Queen goes "No way, can't be done."
So the Pope headbutts her.
I thought that was good did you?
THE PARROTT
A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating anymore
and he's lonesome, so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he walks
into happens to specializes in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices
one with no feet. Surprised, he mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"
The parrot says, "With my thing, dummy."
The guy is startled and says, "You certainly talk well for a parrot."
The parrot says, "Yes, thank you... I'm a very well educated parrot. I can discuss
politics, sports, religion, almost any subject you wish."
The guy says, "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for." The parrot replies,
"There's not much of a market for maimed parrots, you know. If you offer the
proprietor $2 for me, I'll bet he'll sell me."
The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great. Every day when he
comes home from work the parrot tells him Clinton said this, the A's won, the Giant's
lost, the Pope did so and so.
But then one day the guy comes home from work and the parrot waves a wing at
him and says, "Come in and shut the door."
The guy says, "What's up?"
The parrot says, "I don't know how to tell you this, but the mailman came today. Your
wife answered the door in her negligee and he kissed her right on the lips."
The guy says, "Oh, just a momentary flight of passion."
The parrot says, "Then he fondled her breasts." The guy says, "He did?"
"Yep," says the parrot. "Then he took off her negligee and started sucking on her
breasts." The guy exclaims, "My God, what happened next???"
The parrot says, "I don't know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
That was a quality joke. Have any of you got any tohers we ned to liven this place up a bit!!
Oh, and by the way, I dont know what a sphincter says.......
rofl monkey man, i love to brake things, especially my sisters barbie dolls
And so....
*Hercules gets captured by the aliens and they begin the probing*
*aliens warm the probe up*
*Hercules stays lay down on a cold metal table whistling and twiddling his thumbs*
*knock knock*
*aliens go to the door and see who is there*
*Hercules gets captured by the aliens and they begin the probing*
*aliens warm the probe up*
*Hercules stays lay down on a cold metal table whistling and twiddling his thumbs*
*knock knock*
*aliens go to the door and see who is there*
I wrote this in the Life forum, but, I broke on of my girlfriend's sister's pieces of artwork after 10 minutes at her exhibition. It was so embarrasing.
ok.... i had to leave my post at SR for holiday, im back and i need re-entertaining!
you all did ok at entertaining us last time, BUT! We need more entertainmnt and it has to be funny ... yet weird.
Im not running a point scheme this time cos i cant be bothered but if you require one suggest it in your post :D
you all did ok at entertaining us last time, BUT! We need more entertainmnt and it has to be funny ... yet weird.
Im not running a point scheme this time cos i cant be bothered but if you require one suggest it in your post :D
fosbe wrote:
> That is actually pretty entertaining.
i do have my pieces of excellence from time to time
> That is actually pretty entertaining.
i do have my pieces of excellence from time to time
Linx wrote:
> *puts on a rabbit skin hat, puts his hands behing his back and does a
> little jig*
>
> is that entertaining enough mr?
That is actually pretty entertaining.
> *puts on a rabbit skin hat, puts his hands behing his back and does a
> little jig*
>
> is that entertaining enough mr?
That is actually pretty entertaining.
fosbe wrote:
> Lawless Fever wrote:
> I've added you. Now come online! :)
>
> You can chat to me, Microchips, Dead Wonder and Badgerman. Everyone
> else on my contacts list is either busy or sucks.
>
> That means YOU *cough*Stryke*cough* ;D
>
> I cant i am on my dads laptop my pc internet to slow it wont connnect.
> Casn you ask stryke to look at my post and say somthing because he
> said my posts were crap, can you to cheers.
Ok, I'm asking him now, but I'm not expecting much. Right, I've asked him, and he has replied with the following: "Hm, a number of phrases come to mind. Sod him has to be at the top of the list."
Meh! Unlucky mate. Ah well, can't win 'em all eh?
> Lawless Fever wrote:
> I've added you. Now come online! :)
>
> You can chat to me, Microchips, Dead Wonder and Badgerman. Everyone
> else on my contacts list is either busy or sucks.
>
> That means YOU *cough*Stryke*cough* ;D
>
> I cant i am on my dads laptop my pc internet to slow it wont connnect.
> Casn you ask stryke to look at my post and say somthing because he
> said my posts were crap, can you to cheers.
Ok, I'm asking him now, but I'm not expecting much. Right, I've asked him, and he has replied with the following: "Hm, a number of phrases come to mind. Sod him has to be at the top of the list."
Meh! Unlucky mate. Ah well, can't win 'em all eh?
*puts on a rabbit skin hat, puts his hands behing his back and does a little jig*
is that entertaining enough mr?
is that entertaining enough mr?
Page: