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Big Brother 4.
12 convicted criminal psychopaths with an affinity for violent crimes in one house. Cameras everywhere, even attached to their heads for “mental-cam” viewing.
Tasks to include “Not attacking the mirror like a big mental budgie”, “Trying not to flay the other housemates and dancing around in their hides” and “No, the chickens aren’t talking to you, you big mental maniac”.
There is to be a food budget of 27p a week, to be spent only on penny-chews like milk bottles and those fizzy flying saucer things. The sugar rush should provide excellent psycho-viewing for the audience.
Regardless of whether tasks are performed successfully or not, contestants are not to be rewarded in any way whatsoever.
All housemates are to be woken at 3am by massive torches being shone in their mental faces and Big Brother screaming at them in Japanese, occasionally grunting like a hog and throwing wet flannels at them, to increase agitation.
The house initially starts off with separate bedrooms, a nice big kitchen, a living room and a play-room complete with board games and a video-games console.
However, each passing day means that the walls slowly close in, almost imperceptibly but definitely decreasing in size.
Contestants are not nominated to be evicted at all, the same number remains for the first month.
Each morning before the crims awaken, a piece is taken from each board game and a controller removed from the video games machine.
Every Saturday, a chair is removed from the house, forcing them to play mental musical chairs, with one unfortunate monster being forced to stand in the corner and eat his sugar treats.
After a month, each morning the housemates go to a dumb-waiter type panel and stand before it.
The panel lifts to reveal a melee weapon in all but one.
The poor headcase without a weapon, unfortunately, is caught by the rest, beaten and devoured.
This eventually leaves just two mentals, and only one melee weapon.
The hatch opens and the winner emerges triumphant from the house to claim his prize of the right to drive a bus in North London.
12 convicted criminal psychopaths with an affinity for violent crimes in one house. Cameras everywhere, even attached to their heads for “mental-cam” viewing.
Tasks to include “Not attacking the mirror like a big mental budgie”, “Trying not to flay the other housemates and dancing around in their hides” and “No, the chickens aren’t talking to you, you big mental maniac”.
There is to be a food budget of 27p a week, to be spent only on penny-chews like milk bottles and those fizzy flying saucer things. The sugar rush should provide excellent psycho-viewing for the audience.
Regardless of whether tasks are performed successfully or not, contestants are not to be rewarded in any way whatsoever.
All housemates are to be woken at 3am by massive torches being shone in their mental faces and Big Brother screaming at them in Japanese, occasionally grunting like a hog and throwing wet flannels at them, to increase agitation.
The house initially starts off with separate bedrooms, a nice big kitchen, a living room and a play-room complete with board games and a video-games console.
However, each passing day means that the walls slowly close in, almost imperceptibly but definitely decreasing in size.
Contestants are not nominated to be evicted at all, the same number remains for the first month.
Each morning before the crims awaken, a piece is taken from each board game and a controller removed from the video games machine.
Every Saturday, a chair is removed from the house, forcing them to play mental musical chairs, with one unfortunate monster being forced to stand in the corner and eat his sugar treats.
After a month, each morning the housemates go to a dumb-waiter type panel and stand before it.
The panel lifts to reveal a melee weapon in all but one.
The poor headcase without a weapon, unfortunately, is caught by the rest, beaten and devoured.
This eventually leaves just two mentals, and only one melee weapon.
The hatch opens and the winner emerges triumphant from the house to claim his prize of the right to drive a bus in North London.
Substitute mentalists for politicians...
Now that I would pay to watch. I might even be tempted to vote conservative if Iain Duncan Smith scrapped with Tony Blair and came out on top... then again the sex appeal of Mo Mowlam and Ann Widdicome is dubious to say the least. And George Bush could be the token comedy stupid person. The man has no shame or sense, he actually revealed that when he wants to speak to Vladamir Putin, he asks his aides to call Pooty-Put. No-one needs to satirise George Bush, he does it scarily well himself..
Now that I would pay to watch. I might even be tempted to vote conservative if Iain Duncan Smith scrapped with Tony Blair and came out on top... then again the sex appeal of Mo Mowlam and Ann Widdicome is dubious to say the least. And George Bush could be the token comedy stupid person. The man has no shame or sense, he actually revealed that when he wants to speak to Vladamir Putin, he asks his aides to call Pooty-Put. No-one needs to satirise George Bush, he does it scarily well himself..
Is this true?
It sounds a bit violent for british TV, but you'll know better than I - afterall you wouldn't lie to us.
Where did you get the info from? Is it on the big brother website? I'm not allowed on there anymore. I spent too long on it last year looking at pictures of Bubble and mummy had to pay £700 for internet usage.
Thanks for the info, now I can run off and tell all my sad geeky mates about what's in store for us next year.
Parp!
It sounds a bit violent for british TV, but you'll know better than I - afterall you wouldn't lie to us.
Where did you get the info from? Is it on the big brother website? I'm not allowed on there anymore. I spent too long on it last year looking at pictures of Bubble and mummy had to pay £700 for internet usage.
Thanks for the info, now I can run off and tell all my sad geeky mates about what's in store for us next year.
Parp!
Big Brother 4.
12 convicted criminal psychopaths with an affinity for violent crimes in one house. Cameras everywhere, even attached to their heads for “mental-cam” viewing.
Tasks to include “Not attacking the mirror like a big mental budgie”, “Trying not to flay the other housemates and dancing around in their hides” and “No, the chickens aren’t talking to you, you big mental maniac”.
There is to be a food budget of 27p a week, to be spent only on penny-chews like milk bottles and those fizzy flying saucer things. The sugar rush should provide excellent psycho-viewing for the audience.
Regardless of whether tasks are performed successfully or not, contestants are not to be rewarded in any way whatsoever.
All housemates are to be woken at 3am by massive torches being shone in their mental faces and Big Brother screaming at them in Japanese, occasionally grunting like a hog and throwing wet flannels at them, to increase agitation.
The house initially starts off with separate bedrooms, a nice big kitchen, a living room and a play-room complete with board games and a video-games console.
However, each passing day means that the walls slowly close in, almost imperceptibly but definitely decreasing in size.
Contestants are not nominated to be evicted at all, the same number remains for the first month.
Each morning before the crims awaken, a piece is taken from each board game and a controller removed from the video games machine.
Every Saturday, a chair is removed from the house, forcing them to play mental musical chairs, with one unfortunate monster being forced to stand in the corner and eat his sugar treats.
After a month, each morning the housemates go to a dumb-waiter type panel and stand before it.
The panel lifts to reveal a melee weapon in all but one.
The poor headcase without a weapon, unfortunately, is caught by the rest, beaten and devoured.
This eventually leaves just two mentals, and only one melee weapon.
The hatch opens and the winner emerges triumphant from the house to claim his prize of the right to drive a bus in North London.
12 convicted criminal psychopaths with an affinity for violent crimes in one house. Cameras everywhere, even attached to their heads for “mental-cam” viewing.
Tasks to include “Not attacking the mirror like a big mental budgie”, “Trying not to flay the other housemates and dancing around in their hides” and “No, the chickens aren’t talking to you, you big mental maniac”.
There is to be a food budget of 27p a week, to be spent only on penny-chews like milk bottles and those fizzy flying saucer things. The sugar rush should provide excellent psycho-viewing for the audience.
Regardless of whether tasks are performed successfully or not, contestants are not to be rewarded in any way whatsoever.
All housemates are to be woken at 3am by massive torches being shone in their mental faces and Big Brother screaming at them in Japanese, occasionally grunting like a hog and throwing wet flannels at them, to increase agitation.
The house initially starts off with separate bedrooms, a nice big kitchen, a living room and a play-room complete with board games and a video-games console.
However, each passing day means that the walls slowly close in, almost imperceptibly but definitely decreasing in size.
Contestants are not nominated to be evicted at all, the same number remains for the first month.
Each morning before the crims awaken, a piece is taken from each board game and a controller removed from the video games machine.
Every Saturday, a chair is removed from the house, forcing them to play mental musical chairs, with one unfortunate monster being forced to stand in the corner and eat his sugar treats.
After a month, each morning the housemates go to a dumb-waiter type panel and stand before it.
The panel lifts to reveal a melee weapon in all but one.
The poor headcase without a weapon, unfortunately, is caught by the rest, beaten and devoured.
This eventually leaves just two mentals, and only one melee weapon.
The hatch opens and the winner emerges triumphant from the house to claim his prize of the right to drive a bus in North London.