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"Channel 5's Summer Line-up!"

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Mon 27/05/02 at 10:46
Regular
Posts: 787
Channel 5 held a press conference this morning, announcing some of the prime-time shows that they hope will increase their ratings over the summer period:

Punt's Punt Punting Punters:

Steve Punt hosts this wacky water based team gameshow, in which two teams gamble upon the outcomes of races along the river Camb, in Cambridge. Only these aren't ordinary boat races. These involve other team members, walking on stilts above the water, and kicking along punting boats with big round shoes through a series of obstacles, such as flags, and under bridges. A celebrity edition will kick off the series, featuring Suggs, Timmy Mallet, Michaela Strachan, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson and other such celebrities.

King For A Day:

A wholly new concept in TV. A collection of documentaries under a similar vein. Each week famous people with 'King' in their name, get to have a day impersonating Elvis Presley, including giving performances in small rural pubs. So far confirmed for the series are Spurs defender Ledley King, movie critic James King, and novelist Stephen King is said to be 'interested'.

Keith Chegwin's Grief Check-Ins:

Keith Chegwin hosts this hidden camera show, in which hotel receptionists are deliberately awkward, often with explosive results! Guests get all red-faced when the receptionists loudly announces that the requested porn channels are available in their rooms, and business customers are frustrated by being told that their bookings were never made, but there's a bed available in the barn.

Andy Crane's Handy Cranes:

Andy Crane presents this insightful documentary on the history of the crane, highlighting many situations in which the fascinating pieces of machinery have been quite handy.

Lady Slattery's Lover:

Another hilarious hidden camera show, this time set in a seedy bar. Tony Slattery dresses up as a female prostitute, and sees if he can pick up any customers. Back in the studio Jeff Capes will host as two contestants try to guess how much Tony can get away with charging. The reactions of potential punters when Tony reveals himself, and the camera, show a combination of embarrassment, and violence.

Baker's Dozen:

Danny Baker host this quiz show, in which 13 contestants answer questions in a round robin, distracted by Cheryl Baker throwing eggs at them. One wrong answer and they're out, leaving just one ultimate winner.

So be sure to tune in to Channel 5 this Summer!
Mon 27/05/02 at 13:35
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Insane Bartender wrote:
> If this post isn't a joke, I may cry.

Would I make something like this up?

Yes.

Yes I would.

:o)
Mon 27/05/02 at 13:11
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
If this post isn't a joke, I may cry.
Mon 27/05/02 at 13:04
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Mr.Snuggly wrote:
> We've missed you Meka...
>
> ;)

I aims to please. :o)
Mon 27/05/02 at 12:57
Regular
"TheShiznit.co.uk"
Posts: 6,592
We've missed you Meka...

;)
Mon 27/05/02 at 11:18
Posts: 0
Hmmm.... You seem to know a lot about the schedules there Meka. Are you the channel 5 viewer?

Nice post. Though you missed the King for a Day special in Spain. Featuring Juan King. :>
Mon 27/05/02 at 10:46
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Channel 5 held a press conference this morning, announcing some of the prime-time shows that they hope will increase their ratings over the summer period:

Punt's Punt Punting Punters:

Steve Punt hosts this wacky water based team gameshow, in which two teams gamble upon the outcomes of races along the river Camb, in Cambridge. Only these aren't ordinary boat races. These involve other team members, walking on stilts above the water, and kicking along punting boats with big round shoes through a series of obstacles, such as flags, and under bridges. A celebrity edition will kick off the series, featuring Suggs, Timmy Mallet, Michaela Strachan, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson and other such celebrities.

King For A Day:

A wholly new concept in TV. A collection of documentaries under a similar vein. Each week famous people with 'King' in their name, get to have a day impersonating Elvis Presley, including giving performances in small rural pubs. So far confirmed for the series are Spurs defender Ledley King, movie critic James King, and novelist Stephen King is said to be 'interested'.

Keith Chegwin's Grief Check-Ins:

Keith Chegwin hosts this hidden camera show, in which hotel receptionists are deliberately awkward, often with explosive results! Guests get all red-faced when the receptionists loudly announces that the requested porn channels are available in their rooms, and business customers are frustrated by being told that their bookings were never made, but there's a bed available in the barn.

Andy Crane's Handy Cranes:

Andy Crane presents this insightful documentary on the history of the crane, highlighting many situations in which the fascinating pieces of machinery have been quite handy.

Lady Slattery's Lover:

Another hilarious hidden camera show, this time set in a seedy bar. Tony Slattery dresses up as a female prostitute, and sees if he can pick up any customers. Back in the studio Jeff Capes will host as two contestants try to guess how much Tony can get away with charging. The reactions of potential punters when Tony reveals himself, and the camera, show a combination of embarrassment, and violence.

Baker's Dozen:

Danny Baker host this quiz show, in which 13 contestants answer questions in a round robin, distracted by Cheryl Baker throwing eggs at them. One wrong answer and they're out, leaving just one ultimate winner.

So be sure to tune in to Channel 5 this Summer!

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