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Right, I got bored waiting for you guys to give me permission to put you in my story, so here it is. If you need it explaining then...ask...
And there are going to be more parts to it so watch_this_space..
(Oh, and I couldn't think of anyone to be "Kellar" so..fleeble :)"
----------------------
Long ago, down by the ripples of MoleBrook, lived a little duck called Kellar. She loved to lay by the side of the brook, she watched the water trickle past the weathered rocks and glanced from time to time at her distorted image as a reflection in the water. She was beautiful, though she did not admit it. Her radiant feathers glistened in the dappled sunlight through the willow trees. She had many friends for she was a kind and clever duck. They all lived in and around the brook, and continued with their happy lives, for their troubles were relatively small and unimportant.
“Nee, Mystique, you silly fish” said Iguana “calm down, Mr Happy down at Pepperock, doesn’t expect his services done until next Tuesday, your cold will have gone by then, do not panic.”
“But what shall I do if it doesn’t go by Tuesday, what shall I do then?” Said Mystique impatiently.
Mystique was a tall, interesting creature. She wore the nicest of decorations around her neck and was very pretty. She was known for panicking at small insignificant things, but her friends cared for her and knew that whatever she was panicking about was important to her. Iguana was very patient and listened to all the creatures and their troubles.
“You can go get some remedies from Old Mrs Leprachaun, she’s always got something, and I am sure it will keep you nice and lively for Mr Happy” purred Iguana.
You see, Iguana had had a very difficult childhood, it was only by luck that she found Reaper, and he helped her get over her identity crisis, although sometimes her cat-like personality shone through.
Iguana had been a very desirable, but since she had pledged her love to Reaper, her old customers (Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy) had run off seeking less racy animals. Reaper was very protective of Iguana and couldn’t stand a moment without her. They were in love, and were to be married.
Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy resented Reaper and Iguana’s engagement as it would drive decent customers and clients away from the brook. MoleBrook’s image would be shattered the minute decency and commitment entered the little village.
To be honest Iguana was -not- a saint, oh no, she had been caught flaunting herself to Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy on a number of occasions, Reaper didn’t seem to mind. He was only in it for the lesbian sex Iguana and Kellar were planning after the wedding ceremony. Kellar was even intending to wear fishnets and -nothing- else. Maybe they’d even get Mystique involved.
So, as you can see. MoleBrook is not the perfect little place that you expected. Still, the creatures did retained their intelligence. Condom Day was a special event, Mr Happy won a years supply of condoms at the last gig. There was fun, and games and music from our best Viking, Alaric. He played the meanest guitar solo there ever had been in MoleBrook. It added a sense of community to the seedy establishment.
“Atissue!” Sneezed Mystique. “It’s Tuesday, what -am- I to do? I still have a cold, what -is- Mr Happy going to think if I sneeze on him while we’re in his massive stone Jacuzzi, he might think that I was. Well. You know. Like. Gross.”
“Go see Old Mrs Leprachaun, I told you to do that way back in that other paragraph, Mystique.” Sighed Iguana.
Mystique trundled off down the old brick lane to Mrs Leprachaun’s mushroom. It wasn’t any ordinary mushroom, it was a very large mushroom indeed, although somewhat neglected. Old Mrs Leprachaun was too full of aching limbs and rheumatism to cope with cobwebs and over grown daisies, in fact, she found the spider’s quite pleasant to talk to sometimes when boiling up her remedies.
“Ratertatat” Mystique knocked on Mrs Leprachaun’s door.
“Do come in dear” came a withered, croaking voice. Mystique entered, a little uneasy of what she might find inside the manky old mushroom.
“Yes?” Mrs Leprachaun enquired “would you like some help?”
“Yes, you see, I have been suffering from a cold for a few weeks now, and it’s really getting in the way of my work, not to mention my social life” Mystique paused for a minute, realising that her work was her social life, she continued.
“I was wondering if you had anything...I mean...for him..”
“What on earth is a gorgeous creature like you wanting aphrodisiacs for?” Said the small women bluntly (she had always been blunt and shocked even the raciest of patients). “I may have scary hair, but I do know a stunning creature when I see one”
“I AM NOT STUNNING!” Shouted the Mystique “Humph, I just wanted him to be, well, so..out of it when I am giving him my services, that he wont notice if I sneeze on him, don’t you think mind blowing sex will do that to him then?”
“Look. Here’s my catalogue, mail order is best, you get 20% off all products that were tested in the sex shed. For now, I shall give you this...” Old Mrs Leprachaun handed Mystique a little sachet. It read:
“SPICE!” And in small print : “slam it to the left, if you’re having a good time, shake it to the right, if you know that you feel fine, chickass to the front. Uh uh. then go roooooouuuund”
Mystique blinked.
“Well, hope it does the trick, now off you pop, I am sure Mr Happy is waiting for you in his Hot Tub”
“It’s a Jacuzzi, actually." Mystique sneered "Thank you very much Mrs Leprachaun” And she flounced off down the road.
Mystique had to go back to up the lane to Reaper and Iguana’s rock. She was staying there for a while whilst she sorted out her finances. And so, she donned her thigh-high leather boots and her PVC boob-tube and stumbled off to Mr Happy’s palace.
Mr Happy was a very rich toad, and so was open to all kinds of offers from wh0res working in the neighbourhood. He enjoyed porn, and had a large wide-screen TV in his bedroom. He would often invite round Turbonutter and Mouldy Cheese for a session. (Just imagine!) Mystique was a regular visitor to the palace, Mr Happy seemed to like her a lot.
Mystique arrived at Mr Happy’s Pepperock palace at the foot of the Waterfall only to find the door wide open.
“Strange” she thought. She crept in cautiously, her PVC boob-tube squeaking as she went. “Yoo-hoo....Mr Happy? Yoo-hoo” she said in a suggestive manor. But no answer came.
Suddenly, out of no where, a large orange blur ran across the hallway where Mystique was standing.
“What the f**k was that??!!!!??” she cried in complete shock.
“Hello there you” came a deep, sexy voice from behind Mystique’s shoulder. She spun round.
“What the f**k.....” She stared the orange creature up and down “...are you wearing..?”
“Haven’t you heard? The purple satin thong is just, like, all the rage this summer. Didn’t you read last weeks instalment of ‘Seedy Fashion’?”
Mystique looked very worried indeed
"I am a carrot, but you can call me Mouldy Cheese, or just Cheese if you get to know me well, eh eh?"
“Er, no, I don't tend to read 'Seedy Fashion' and I don't know if I'll be calling you Cheese for a while yet” Replied the startled figure
“So? What the hell are you wearing, boob-tubes are like totally -out-...” Cheese folded his arms and flicked out his hips to one side. He looked dumbly at Mystique.
“What are you doing here anyway, making a poor girl feel so degraded in what she thinks is perfectly good fashionable clothing”
“Huh! You call -that- clothing...” Cheese trailed off... “Look, I am here for Mr Happy, what are you doing here?”
“Haha. Isn’t that strange, I’m here for Mr Happy too..”
“Well, ex-cel-lent! Threesome sound all right to you?”
“Well, how much is he paying you, I won’t take anything less than 73p a minute”
“73p a minute? woah sister, you damn cheap, I am £1 per minute and 50p for extras”
“Look...Carrot, Orange thing, whatever you are......Cheese......Mouldy Cheese, I am only in this for the money. Just so I can get some of my own accommodation and move away from Iguana and Reaper, the love-sick puppies”
“Hey, I am here for the pleasure. The money is good too. But there’s nothing I like more than some hardcore...” He trailed off again and cleared this throat.
The CheesyCarrot was certainly a strange character. Mystique decided to take her chances and go for the threesome with Cheese and Mr Happy, however mouldy they may turn out to be. After all, this could seal her reputation as far as wh0res go in the area, she’d always be guaranteed work if she pulled this off...
“All right” said Mystique. “Where’s Mr Happy?, I want to get this over and done with a quickly as possible.”
“Well, last time I looked he was...er...oh s**t....in all that excitement I....oh s**t”
-------------------------------------------
What has happened to Mr Happy?
Would you like to test out new products in Old Mrs Leprachaun’s sex shed?
And there are going to be more parts to it so watch_this_space..
(Oh, and I couldn't think of anyone to be "Kellar" so..fleeble :)"
----------------------
Long ago, down by the ripples of MoleBrook, lived a little duck called Kellar. She loved to lay by the side of the brook, she watched the water trickle past the weathered rocks and glanced from time to time at her distorted image as a reflection in the water. She was beautiful, though she did not admit it. Her radiant feathers glistened in the dappled sunlight through the willow trees. She had many friends for she was a kind and clever duck. They all lived in and around the brook, and continued with their happy lives, for their troubles were relatively small and unimportant.
“Nee, Mystique, you silly fish” said Iguana “calm down, Mr Happy down at Pepperock, doesn’t expect his services done until next Tuesday, your cold will have gone by then, do not panic.”
“But what shall I do if it doesn’t go by Tuesday, what shall I do then?” Said Mystique impatiently.
Mystique was a tall, interesting creature. She wore the nicest of decorations around her neck and was very pretty. She was known for panicking at small insignificant things, but her friends cared for her and knew that whatever she was panicking about was important to her. Iguana was very patient and listened to all the creatures and their troubles.
“You can go get some remedies from Old Mrs Leprachaun, she’s always got something, and I am sure it will keep you nice and lively for Mr Happy” purred Iguana.
You see, Iguana had had a very difficult childhood, it was only by luck that she found Reaper, and he helped her get over her identity crisis, although sometimes her cat-like personality shone through.
Iguana had been a very desirable, but since she had pledged her love to Reaper, her old customers (Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy) had run off seeking less racy animals. Reaper was very protective of Iguana and couldn’t stand a moment without her. They were in love, and were to be married.
Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy resented Reaper and Iguana’s engagement as it would drive decent customers and clients away from the brook. MoleBrook’s image would be shattered the minute decency and commitment entered the little village.
To be honest Iguana was -not- a saint, oh no, she had been caught flaunting herself to Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy on a number of occasions, Reaper didn’t seem to mind. He was only in it for the lesbian sex Iguana and Kellar were planning after the wedding ceremony. Kellar was even intending to wear fishnets and -nothing- else. Maybe they’d even get Mystique involved.
So, as you can see. MoleBrook is not the perfect little place that you expected. Still, the creatures did retained their intelligence. Condom Day was a special event, Mr Happy won a years supply of condoms at the last gig. There was fun, and games and music from our best Viking, Alaric. He played the meanest guitar solo there ever had been in MoleBrook. It added a sense of community to the seedy establishment.
“Atissue!” Sneezed Mystique. “It’s Tuesday, what -am- I to do? I still have a cold, what -is- Mr Happy going to think if I sneeze on him while we’re in his massive stone Jacuzzi, he might think that I was. Well. You know. Like. Gross.”
“Go see Old Mrs Leprachaun, I told you to do that way back in that other paragraph, Mystique.” Sighed Iguana.
Mystique trundled off down the old brick lane to Mrs Leprachaun’s mushroom. It wasn’t any ordinary mushroom, it was a very large mushroom indeed, although somewhat neglected. Old Mrs Leprachaun was too full of aching limbs and rheumatism to cope with cobwebs and over grown daisies, in fact, she found the spider’s quite pleasant to talk to sometimes when boiling up her remedies.
“Ratertatat” Mystique knocked on Mrs Leprachaun’s door.
“Do come in dear” came a withered, croaking voice. Mystique entered, a little uneasy of what she might find inside the manky old mushroom.
“Yes?” Mrs Leprachaun enquired “would you like some help?”
“Yes, you see, I have been suffering from a cold for a few weeks now, and it’s really getting in the way of my work, not to mention my social life” Mystique paused for a minute, realising that her work was her social life, she continued.
“I was wondering if you had anything...I mean...for him..”
“What on earth is a gorgeous creature like you wanting aphrodisiacs for?” Said the small women bluntly (she had always been blunt and shocked even the raciest of patients). “I may have scary hair, but I do know a stunning creature when I see one”
“I AM NOT STUNNING!” Shouted the Mystique “Humph, I just wanted him to be, well, so..out of it when I am giving him my services, that he wont notice if I sneeze on him, don’t you think mind blowing sex will do that to him then?”
“Look. Here’s my catalogue, mail order is best, you get 20% off all products that were tested in the sex shed. For now, I shall give you this...” Old Mrs Leprachaun handed Mystique a little sachet. It read:
“SPICE!” And in small print : “slam it to the left, if you’re having a good time, shake it to the right, if you know that you feel fine, chickass to the front. Uh uh. then go roooooouuuund”
Mystique blinked.
“Well, hope it does the trick, now off you pop, I am sure Mr Happy is waiting for you in his Hot Tub”
“It’s a Jacuzzi, actually." Mystique sneered "Thank you very much Mrs Leprachaun” And she flounced off down the road.
Mystique had to go back to up the lane to Reaper and Iguana’s rock. She was staying there for a while whilst she sorted out her finances. And so, she donned her thigh-high leather boots and her PVC boob-tube and stumbled off to Mr Happy’s palace.
Mr Happy was a very rich toad, and so was open to all kinds of offers from wh0res working in the neighbourhood. He enjoyed porn, and had a large wide-screen TV in his bedroom. He would often invite round Turbonutter and Mouldy Cheese for a session. (Just imagine!) Mystique was a regular visitor to the palace, Mr Happy seemed to like her a lot.
Mystique arrived at Mr Happy’s Pepperock palace at the foot of the Waterfall only to find the door wide open.
“Strange” she thought. She crept in cautiously, her PVC boob-tube squeaking as she went. “Yoo-hoo....Mr Happy? Yoo-hoo” she said in a suggestive manor. But no answer came.
Suddenly, out of no where, a large orange blur ran across the hallway where Mystique was standing.
“What the f**k was that??!!!!??” she cried in complete shock.
“Hello there you” came a deep, sexy voice from behind Mystique’s shoulder. She spun round.
“What the f**k.....” She stared the orange creature up and down “...are you wearing..?”
“Haven’t you heard? The purple satin thong is just, like, all the rage this summer. Didn’t you read last weeks instalment of ‘Seedy Fashion’?”
Mystique looked very worried indeed
"I am a carrot, but you can call me Mouldy Cheese, or just Cheese if you get to know me well, eh eh?"
“Er, no, I don't tend to read 'Seedy Fashion' and I don't know if I'll be calling you Cheese for a while yet” Replied the startled figure
“So? What the hell are you wearing, boob-tubes are like totally -out-...” Cheese folded his arms and flicked out his hips to one side. He looked dumbly at Mystique.
“What are you doing here anyway, making a poor girl feel so degraded in what she thinks is perfectly good fashionable clothing”
“Huh! You call -that- clothing...” Cheese trailed off... “Look, I am here for Mr Happy, what are you doing here?”
“Haha. Isn’t that strange, I’m here for Mr Happy too..”
“Well, ex-cel-lent! Threesome sound all right to you?”
“Well, how much is he paying you, I won’t take anything less than 73p a minute”
“73p a minute? woah sister, you damn cheap, I am £1 per minute and 50p for extras”
“Look...Carrot, Orange thing, whatever you are......Cheese......Mouldy Cheese, I am only in this for the money. Just so I can get some of my own accommodation and move away from Iguana and Reaper, the love-sick puppies”
“Hey, I am here for the pleasure. The money is good too. But there’s nothing I like more than some hardcore...” He trailed off again and cleared this throat.
The CheesyCarrot was certainly a strange character. Mystique decided to take her chances and go for the threesome with Cheese and Mr Happy, however mouldy they may turn out to be. After all, this could seal her reputation as far as wh0res go in the area, she’d always be guaranteed work if she pulled this off...
“All right” said Mystique. “Where’s Mr Happy?, I want to get this over and done with a quickly as possible.”
“Well, last time I looked he was...er...oh s**t....in all that excitement I....oh s**t”
-------------------------------------------
What has happened to Mr Happy?
Would you like to test out new products in Old Mrs Leprachaun’s sex shed?
Leprachaun wrote:
> Yes Jess. You came up with the wh0re idea..maybe? Oh WOMBLE WH0RES!
> Please, someone who knows us, please come and say that this is
> sane..?
> Or not..
Whomble Whoresand Protitrees... Mexcellent
> Yes Jess. You came up with the wh0re idea..maybe? Oh WOMBLE WH0RES!
> Please, someone who knows us, please come and say that this is
> sane..?
> Or not..
Whomble Whoresand Protitrees... Mexcellent
Cackle. I make no comment..
Leprachaun wrote:
>It is funnier if you knew what half the stuff was about..
Really really dont wanna know.
Unless you have pictures.
But definately NOT of anything mouldy.
I want a condom day.
>It is funnier if you knew what half the stuff was about..
Really really dont wanna know.
Unless you have pictures.
But definately NOT of anything mouldy.
I want a condom day.
Amazing how much of it got past the filter :)
Good read, anyway. Very different to anything else I've seen around here.
Good read, anyway. Very different to anything else I've seen around here.
You SW people scare me. You're no making this up, are you?
This. Actually. Happened.
This. Actually. Happened.
:0D
Right, I got bored waiting for you guys to give me permission to put you in my story, so here it is. If you need it explaining then...ask...
And there are going to be more parts to it so watch_this_space..
(Oh, and I couldn't think of anyone to be "Kellar" so..fleeble :)"
----------------------
Long ago, down by the ripples of MoleBrook, lived a little duck called Kellar. She loved to lay by the side of the brook, she watched the water trickle past the weathered rocks and glanced from time to time at her distorted image as a reflection in the water. She was beautiful, though she did not admit it. Her radiant feathers glistened in the dappled sunlight through the willow trees. She had many friends for she was a kind and clever duck. They all lived in and around the brook, and continued with their happy lives, for their troubles were relatively small and unimportant.
“Nee, Mystique, you silly fish” said Iguana “calm down, Mr Happy down at Pepperock, doesn’t expect his services done until next Tuesday, your cold will have gone by then, do not panic.”
“But what shall I do if it doesn’t go by Tuesday, what shall I do then?” Said Mystique impatiently.
Mystique was a tall, interesting creature. She wore the nicest of decorations around her neck and was very pretty. She was known for panicking at small insignificant things, but her friends cared for her and knew that whatever she was panicking about was important to her. Iguana was very patient and listened to all the creatures and their troubles.
“You can go get some remedies from Old Mrs Leprachaun, she’s always got something, and I am sure it will keep you nice and lively for Mr Happy” purred Iguana.
You see, Iguana had had a very difficult childhood, it was only by luck that she found Reaper, and he helped her get over her identity crisis, although sometimes her cat-like personality shone through.
Iguana had been a very desirable, but since she had pledged her love to Reaper, her old customers (Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy) had run off seeking less racy animals. Reaper was very protective of Iguana and couldn’t stand a moment without her. They were in love, and were to be married.
Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy resented Reaper and Iguana’s engagement as it would drive decent customers and clients away from the brook. MoleBrook’s image would be shattered the minute decency and commitment entered the little village.
To be honest Iguana was -not- a saint, oh no, she had been caught flaunting herself to Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy on a number of occasions, Reaper didn’t seem to mind. He was only in it for the lesbian sex Iguana and Kellar were planning after the wedding ceremony. Kellar was even intending to wear fishnets and -nothing- else. Maybe they’d even get Mystique involved.
So, as you can see. MoleBrook is not the perfect little place that you expected. Still, the creatures did retained their intelligence. Condom Day was a special event, Mr Happy won a years supply of condoms at the last gig. There was fun, and games and music from our best Viking, Alaric. He played the meanest guitar solo there ever had been in MoleBrook. It added a sense of community to the seedy establishment.
“Atissue!” Sneezed Mystique. “It’s Tuesday, what -am- I to do? I still have a cold, what -is- Mr Happy going to think if I sneeze on him while we’re in his massive stone Jacuzzi, he might think that I was. Well. You know. Like. Gross.”
“Go see Old Mrs Leprachaun, I told you to do that way back in that other paragraph, Mystique.” Sighed Iguana.
Mystique trundled off down the old brick lane to Mrs Leprachaun’s mushroom. It wasn’t any ordinary mushroom, it was a very large mushroom indeed, although somewhat neglected. Old Mrs Leprachaun was too full of aching limbs and rheumatism to cope with cobwebs and over grown daisies, in fact, she found the spider’s quite pleasant to talk to sometimes when boiling up her remedies.
“Ratertatat” Mystique knocked on Mrs Leprachaun’s door.
“Do come in dear” came a withered, croaking voice. Mystique entered, a little uneasy of what she might find inside the manky old mushroom.
“Yes?” Mrs Leprachaun enquired “would you like some help?”
“Yes, you see, I have been suffering from a cold for a few weeks now, and it’s really getting in the way of my work, not to mention my social life” Mystique paused for a minute, realising that her work was her social life, she continued.
“I was wondering if you had anything...I mean...for him..”
“What on earth is a gorgeous creature like you wanting aphrodisiacs for?” Said the small women bluntly (she had always been blunt and shocked even the raciest of patients). “I may have scary hair, but I do know a stunning creature when I see one”
“I AM NOT STUNNING!” Shouted the Mystique “Humph, I just wanted him to be, well, so..out of it when I am giving him my services, that he wont notice if I sneeze on him, don’t you think mind blowing sex will do that to him then?”
“Look. Here’s my catalogue, mail order is best, you get 20% off all products that were tested in the sex shed. For now, I shall give you this...” Old Mrs Leprachaun handed Mystique a little sachet. It read:
“SPICE!” And in small print : “slam it to the left, if you’re having a good time, shake it to the right, if you know that you feel fine, chickass to the front. Uh uh. then go roooooouuuund”
Mystique blinked.
“Well, hope it does the trick, now off you pop, I am sure Mr Happy is waiting for you in his Hot Tub”
“It’s a Jacuzzi, actually." Mystique sneered "Thank you very much Mrs Leprachaun” And she flounced off down the road.
Mystique had to go back to up the lane to Reaper and Iguana’s rock. She was staying there for a while whilst she sorted out her finances. And so, she donned her thigh-high leather boots and her PVC boob-tube and stumbled off to Mr Happy’s palace.
Mr Happy was a very rich toad, and so was open to all kinds of offers from wh0res working in the neighbourhood. He enjoyed porn, and had a large wide-screen TV in his bedroom. He would often invite round Turbonutter and Mouldy Cheese for a session. (Just imagine!) Mystique was a regular visitor to the palace, Mr Happy seemed to like her a lot.
Mystique arrived at Mr Happy’s Pepperock palace at the foot of the Waterfall only to find the door wide open.
“Strange” she thought. She crept in cautiously, her PVC boob-tube squeaking as she went. “Yoo-hoo....Mr Happy? Yoo-hoo” she said in a suggestive manor. But no answer came.
Suddenly, out of no where, a large orange blur ran across the hallway where Mystique was standing.
“What the f**k was that??!!!!??” she cried in complete shock.
“Hello there you” came a deep, sexy voice from behind Mystique’s shoulder. She spun round.
“What the f**k.....” She stared the orange creature up and down “...are you wearing..?”
“Haven’t you heard? The purple satin thong is just, like, all the rage this summer. Didn’t you read last weeks instalment of ‘Seedy Fashion’?”
Mystique looked very worried indeed
"I am a carrot, but you can call me Mouldy Cheese, or just Cheese if you get to know me well, eh eh?"
“Er, no, I don't tend to read 'Seedy Fashion' and I don't know if I'll be calling you Cheese for a while yet” Replied the startled figure
“So? What the hell are you wearing, boob-tubes are like totally -out-...” Cheese folded his arms and flicked out his hips to one side. He looked dumbly at Mystique.
“What are you doing here anyway, making a poor girl feel so degraded in what she thinks is perfectly good fashionable clothing”
“Huh! You call -that- clothing...” Cheese trailed off... “Look, I am here for Mr Happy, what are you doing here?”
“Haha. Isn’t that strange, I’m here for Mr Happy too..”
“Well, ex-cel-lent! Threesome sound all right to you?”
“Well, how much is he paying you, I won’t take anything less than 73p a minute”
“73p a minute? woah sister, you damn cheap, I am £1 per minute and 50p for extras”
“Look...Carrot, Orange thing, whatever you are......Cheese......Mouldy Cheese, I am only in this for the money. Just so I can get some of my own accommodation and move away from Iguana and Reaper, the love-sick puppies”
“Hey, I am here for the pleasure. The money is good too. But there’s nothing I like more than some hardcore...” He trailed off again and cleared this throat.
The CheesyCarrot was certainly a strange character. Mystique decided to take her chances and go for the threesome with Cheese and Mr Happy, however mouldy they may turn out to be. After all, this could seal her reputation as far as wh0res go in the area, she’d always be guaranteed work if she pulled this off...
“All right” said Mystique. “Where’s Mr Happy?, I want to get this over and done with a quickly as possible.”
“Well, last time I looked he was...er...oh s**t....in all that excitement I....oh s**t”
-------------------------------------------
What has happened to Mr Happy?
Would you like to test out new products in Old Mrs Leprachaun’s sex shed?
And there are going to be more parts to it so watch_this_space..
(Oh, and I couldn't think of anyone to be "Kellar" so..fleeble :)"
----------------------
Long ago, down by the ripples of MoleBrook, lived a little duck called Kellar. She loved to lay by the side of the brook, she watched the water trickle past the weathered rocks and glanced from time to time at her distorted image as a reflection in the water. She was beautiful, though she did not admit it. Her radiant feathers glistened in the dappled sunlight through the willow trees. She had many friends for she was a kind and clever duck. They all lived in and around the brook, and continued with their happy lives, for their troubles were relatively small and unimportant.
“Nee, Mystique, you silly fish” said Iguana “calm down, Mr Happy down at Pepperock, doesn’t expect his services done until next Tuesday, your cold will have gone by then, do not panic.”
“But what shall I do if it doesn’t go by Tuesday, what shall I do then?” Said Mystique impatiently.
Mystique was a tall, interesting creature. She wore the nicest of decorations around her neck and was very pretty. She was known for panicking at small insignificant things, but her friends cared for her and knew that whatever she was panicking about was important to her. Iguana was very patient and listened to all the creatures and their troubles.
“You can go get some remedies from Old Mrs Leprachaun, she’s always got something, and I am sure it will keep you nice and lively for Mr Happy” purred Iguana.
You see, Iguana had had a very difficult childhood, it was only by luck that she found Reaper, and he helped her get over her identity crisis, although sometimes her cat-like personality shone through.
Iguana had been a very desirable, but since she had pledged her love to Reaper, her old customers (Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy) had run off seeking less racy animals. Reaper was very protective of Iguana and couldn’t stand a moment without her. They were in love, and were to be married.
Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy resented Reaper and Iguana’s engagement as it would drive decent customers and clients away from the brook. MoleBrook’s image would be shattered the minute decency and commitment entered the little village.
To be honest Iguana was -not- a saint, oh no, she had been caught flaunting herself to Mouldy Cheese and Mr Happy on a number of occasions, Reaper didn’t seem to mind. He was only in it for the lesbian sex Iguana and Kellar were planning after the wedding ceremony. Kellar was even intending to wear fishnets and -nothing- else. Maybe they’d even get Mystique involved.
So, as you can see. MoleBrook is not the perfect little place that you expected. Still, the creatures did retained their intelligence. Condom Day was a special event, Mr Happy won a years supply of condoms at the last gig. There was fun, and games and music from our best Viking, Alaric. He played the meanest guitar solo there ever had been in MoleBrook. It added a sense of community to the seedy establishment.
“Atissue!” Sneezed Mystique. “It’s Tuesday, what -am- I to do? I still have a cold, what -is- Mr Happy going to think if I sneeze on him while we’re in his massive stone Jacuzzi, he might think that I was. Well. You know. Like. Gross.”
“Go see Old Mrs Leprachaun, I told you to do that way back in that other paragraph, Mystique.” Sighed Iguana.
Mystique trundled off down the old brick lane to Mrs Leprachaun’s mushroom. It wasn’t any ordinary mushroom, it was a very large mushroom indeed, although somewhat neglected. Old Mrs Leprachaun was too full of aching limbs and rheumatism to cope with cobwebs and over grown daisies, in fact, she found the spider’s quite pleasant to talk to sometimes when boiling up her remedies.
“Ratertatat” Mystique knocked on Mrs Leprachaun’s door.
“Do come in dear” came a withered, croaking voice. Mystique entered, a little uneasy of what she might find inside the manky old mushroom.
“Yes?” Mrs Leprachaun enquired “would you like some help?”
“Yes, you see, I have been suffering from a cold for a few weeks now, and it’s really getting in the way of my work, not to mention my social life” Mystique paused for a minute, realising that her work was her social life, she continued.
“I was wondering if you had anything...I mean...for him..”
“What on earth is a gorgeous creature like you wanting aphrodisiacs for?” Said the small women bluntly (she had always been blunt and shocked even the raciest of patients). “I may have scary hair, but I do know a stunning creature when I see one”
“I AM NOT STUNNING!” Shouted the Mystique “Humph, I just wanted him to be, well, so..out of it when I am giving him my services, that he wont notice if I sneeze on him, don’t you think mind blowing sex will do that to him then?”
“Look. Here’s my catalogue, mail order is best, you get 20% off all products that were tested in the sex shed. For now, I shall give you this...” Old Mrs Leprachaun handed Mystique a little sachet. It read:
“SPICE!” And in small print : “slam it to the left, if you’re having a good time, shake it to the right, if you know that you feel fine, chickass to the front. Uh uh. then go roooooouuuund”
Mystique blinked.
“Well, hope it does the trick, now off you pop, I am sure Mr Happy is waiting for you in his Hot Tub”
“It’s a Jacuzzi, actually." Mystique sneered "Thank you very much Mrs Leprachaun” And she flounced off down the road.
Mystique had to go back to up the lane to Reaper and Iguana’s rock. She was staying there for a while whilst she sorted out her finances. And so, she donned her thigh-high leather boots and her PVC boob-tube and stumbled off to Mr Happy’s palace.
Mr Happy was a very rich toad, and so was open to all kinds of offers from wh0res working in the neighbourhood. He enjoyed porn, and had a large wide-screen TV in his bedroom. He would often invite round Turbonutter and Mouldy Cheese for a session. (Just imagine!) Mystique was a regular visitor to the palace, Mr Happy seemed to like her a lot.
Mystique arrived at Mr Happy’s Pepperock palace at the foot of the Waterfall only to find the door wide open.
“Strange” she thought. She crept in cautiously, her PVC boob-tube squeaking as she went. “Yoo-hoo....Mr Happy? Yoo-hoo” she said in a suggestive manor. But no answer came.
Suddenly, out of no where, a large orange blur ran across the hallway where Mystique was standing.
“What the f**k was that??!!!!??” she cried in complete shock.
“Hello there you” came a deep, sexy voice from behind Mystique’s shoulder. She spun round.
“What the f**k.....” She stared the orange creature up and down “...are you wearing..?”
“Haven’t you heard? The purple satin thong is just, like, all the rage this summer. Didn’t you read last weeks instalment of ‘Seedy Fashion’?”
Mystique looked very worried indeed
"I am a carrot, but you can call me Mouldy Cheese, or just Cheese if you get to know me well, eh eh?"
“Er, no, I don't tend to read 'Seedy Fashion' and I don't know if I'll be calling you Cheese for a while yet” Replied the startled figure
“So? What the hell are you wearing, boob-tubes are like totally -out-...” Cheese folded his arms and flicked out his hips to one side. He looked dumbly at Mystique.
“What are you doing here anyway, making a poor girl feel so degraded in what she thinks is perfectly good fashionable clothing”
“Huh! You call -that- clothing...” Cheese trailed off... “Look, I am here for Mr Happy, what are you doing here?”
“Haha. Isn’t that strange, I’m here for Mr Happy too..”
“Well, ex-cel-lent! Threesome sound all right to you?”
“Well, how much is he paying you, I won’t take anything less than 73p a minute”
“73p a minute? woah sister, you damn cheap, I am £1 per minute and 50p for extras”
“Look...Carrot, Orange thing, whatever you are......Cheese......Mouldy Cheese, I am only in this for the money. Just so I can get some of my own accommodation and move away from Iguana and Reaper, the love-sick puppies”
“Hey, I am here for the pleasure. The money is good too. But there’s nothing I like more than some hardcore...” He trailed off again and cleared this throat.
The CheesyCarrot was certainly a strange character. Mystique decided to take her chances and go for the threesome with Cheese and Mr Happy, however mouldy they may turn out to be. After all, this could seal her reputation as far as wh0res go in the area, she’d always be guaranteed work if she pulled this off...
“All right” said Mystique. “Where’s Mr Happy?, I want to get this over and done with a quickly as possible.”
“Well, last time I looked he was...er...oh s**t....in all that excitement I....oh s**t”
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What has happened to Mr Happy?
Would you like to test out new products in Old Mrs Leprachaun’s sex shed?