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Not normally something to shout about, but waking up today has been difficult, and I've done it three or four times now... perhaps many more.
I shall explain...
The morning was normal enough. Up at nine for breakfast, as usual. By ten O'clock, I was feeling inexplicably tired, (6 hours sleep in the last two nights nights have something to do with it though) so I decided to lay in bed and rest for a while.
After lying there for some time, I decided I'd better get up. This seemed a lot of effort for some reason... it felt as though the bedclothes were dragging me down. I tried to look around, but I could focus only on the corner of the room. It was at this point I realised I was asleep.
No problem. It's easy to wake up when you know you're asleep, isn't it?
So immediately I did so, and got out of bed. I then realised I was half naked and my door was wide open and people were walking past. After a moment of fear of embarassment, I realised I was still asleep. Thank god for that...
So I tried to wake up again. I think I suceeded for a moment, before collapsing back into bed. I just couldn't stay awake. I tried manually opening my eyelids... but there was no way of knowing if I was actually moving my arms or not. I woke up again for a few seconds.. this time long enough to reach for the chair near my bed before collapsing asleep on the floor. I struggled on the floor to wake up, before realising there shouldn't be a chair near my bed in my room, and I hadn't woken up at all. Bah.
At this point I was seriously beginning to wonder how in the hell I was going to wake up. None of the tricks I'd used in situations like this before were working.
Willpower. That was the only way to do it. Focus, concentrate. It's all in your mind, so just snap out of it. So I lay there, knowing I was dreaming that I was lying in my bed, and desparately trying to wake up.
I suceeded this time, I know I did. I felt the weight of my blanket on me, and more so the weight on my eyelids, the immense feeling of tiredness. I didn't manage to get out of bed, but I did manage to turn in my bed before falling asleep again. Progress!
Still not enough though... I needed something more. Then I hit on it - fear. It's the one thing powerful enough to wake you up from a deep sleep, from a nightmare, so it must work here, if anything will. So I tried to scare myself, to convince myself that if I couldn't wake up now, I would never be able to wake up.. I'd suffocate, or be trapped, or lose contact with reality forever. This was enough to make the difference... with a lot of effort I managed to wake up, and just about managed to push my covers off and get out of bed.
God I felt tired. So very tired. So tired in fact, that after seeing that I'd only spent an hour 'asleep', I might as well go back to bed.
Stupid, stupid idea.
Exactly the same thing happened again.
And you know how stupid I am? After I woke up again, having been asleep and struggling to wake up for another nintey minutes, I went back to bed again.
Then at quarter past three this afternoon, a mammoth two hour long struggle to get out of bed, my third attempt today, I woke up again.
And you know how stupid I am? It's raining outside and I've realised I'm wearing shorts.
But at least I'm awake.
Don't think I've ever had that problem... sounds... interesting... :0)
Not normally something to shout about, but waking up today has been difficult, and I've done it three or four times now... perhaps many more.
I shall explain...
The morning was normal enough. Up at nine for breakfast, as usual. By ten O'clock, I was feeling inexplicably tired, (6 hours sleep in the last two nights nights have something to do with it though) so I decided to lay in bed and rest for a while.
After lying there for some time, I decided I'd better get up. This seemed a lot of effort for some reason... it felt as though the bedclothes were dragging me down. I tried to look around, but I could focus only on the corner of the room. It was at this point I realised I was asleep.
No problem. It's easy to wake up when you know you're asleep, isn't it?
So immediately I did so, and got out of bed. I then realised I was half naked and my door was wide open and people were walking past. After a moment of fear of embarassment, I realised I was still asleep. Thank god for that...
So I tried to wake up again. I think I suceeded for a moment, before collapsing back into bed. I just couldn't stay awake. I tried manually opening my eyelids... but there was no way of knowing if I was actually moving my arms or not. I woke up again for a few seconds.. this time long enough to reach for the chair near my bed before collapsing asleep on the floor. I struggled on the floor to wake up, before realising there shouldn't be a chair near my bed in my room, and I hadn't woken up at all. Bah.
At this point I was seriously beginning to wonder how in the hell I was going to wake up. None of the tricks I'd used in situations like this before were working.
Willpower. That was the only way to do it. Focus, concentrate. It's all in your mind, so just snap out of it. So I lay there, knowing I was dreaming that I was lying in my bed, and desparately trying to wake up.
I suceeded this time, I know I did. I felt the weight of my blanket on me, and more so the weight on my eyelids, the immense feeling of tiredness. I didn't manage to get out of bed, but I did manage to turn in my bed before falling asleep again. Progress!
Still not enough though... I needed something more. Then I hit on it - fear. It's the one thing powerful enough to wake you up from a deep sleep, from a nightmare, so it must work here, if anything will. So I tried to scare myself, to convince myself that if I couldn't wake up now, I would never be able to wake up.. I'd suffocate, or be trapped, or lose contact with reality forever. This was enough to make the difference... with a lot of effort I managed to wake up, and just about managed to push my covers off and get out of bed.
God I felt tired. So very tired. So tired in fact, that after seeing that I'd only spent an hour 'asleep', I might as well go back to bed.
Stupid, stupid idea.
Exactly the same thing happened again.
And you know how stupid I am? After I woke up again, having been asleep and struggling to wake up for another nintey minutes, I went back to bed again.
Then at quarter past three this afternoon, a mammoth two hour long struggle to get out of bed, my third attempt today, I woke up again.
And you know how stupid I am? It's raining outside and I've realised I'm wearing shorts.
But at least I'm awake.