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Just received from a friend via e-mail...
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A German visiting London asks a hooker for sex and she tells him it's twenty quid.
"Fine" he says, "but I'm a bit kinky".
She agrees that this is OK as long as he doesn't do anything violent. They get back to her flat and he gets out four big springs attached to some straps.
"I want you to put one of these on each elbow and one on each knee" he asks.
The hooker is worried that she's getting into something a bit heavy, but she goes along with his request.
Then she is told to get down on all fours, naked, in front of him - which she does grudgingly.
Then he asks her to start bouncing up and down on the springs and finally he takes a duck call whistle from his pocket.
"Blow on this while I do you" he tells her.
So he's banging away while she's bouncing on the springs blowing the duck whistle.
Suddenly she starts to enjoy the herself, so much so in fact that she experiences the most fantastic orgasm she's ever had.
After they've finished she says... "Wow, that was the most fantastic sex I've had in 25 years on the game, how the hell did you make it so good?"
"Ah," he replies, smiling...
"Foursprung Duck Technique"
-----
A German visiting London asks a hooker for sex and she tells him it's twenty quid.
"Fine" he says, "but I'm a bit kinky".
She agrees that this is OK as long as he doesn't do anything violent. They get back to her flat and he gets out four big springs attached to some straps.
"I want you to put one of these on each elbow and one on each knee" he asks.
The hooker is worried that she's getting into something a bit heavy, but she goes along with his request.
Then she is told to get down on all fours, naked, in front of him - which she does grudgingly.
Then he asks her to start bouncing up and down on the springs and finally he takes a duck call whistle from his pocket.
"Blow on this while I do you" he tells her.
So he's banging away while she's bouncing on the springs blowing the duck whistle.
Suddenly she starts to enjoy the herself, so much so in fact that she experiences the most fantastic orgasm she's ever had.
After they've finished she says... "Wow, that was the most fantastic sex I've had in 25 years on the game, how the hell did you make it so good?"
"Ah," he replies, smiling...
"Foursprung Duck Technique"
Yay, welcome back M16!
Some decent jokes there. I would say they're a bit rude...but ah, what the hell. {:)
Some decent jokes there. I would say they're a bit rude...but ah, what the hell. {:)
Nah - there has been a large influx of newbies/JATs and half of them spalm to hell........
good joke!
good joke!
Should be staying around this time, just been a bit busy lately.
I can not believe at how many new posters there are since I last visited! Unless epople have just started to change their names?
I can not believe at how many new posters there are since I last visited! Unless epople have just started to change their names?
Your tagline is always 'The Return' so I never actually know when you have or not cos thats what it always says..
You staying around? Or one of those drop ins?
You staying around? Or one of those drop ins?
*Loving the Jerry noises*
Woohoo! Someone realised I was gone ;-)
Sick I know, the kind of joke you want to laugh inside and not out loud. If that is even possible...
*Gets distracted thinking if it is possible to laugh without making any noises*
Woohoo! Someone realised I was gone ;-)
Sick I know, the kind of joke you want to laugh inside and not out loud. If that is even possible...
*Gets distracted thinking if it is possible to laugh without making any noises*
a) Woohoo! M16 lives! Long time no see.
b) That's sick - but funny!
b) That's sick - but funny!
LOL, good one! On a similar note (sort of…)
George is 95 and lives in a senior citizen's home.
Every night after dinner, George goes to a secluded garden behind the centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Bette, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and, before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, George turns to ask, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks "What?" and he replies, "SEX!!"
Bette exclaims, "Why, you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," George says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while".
"Well, I suppose I can oblige," says Bette, who gently unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden, where they sit and talk while Bette holds George's manhood.
Then, one night, George doesn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Bette decides to find George and make sure that he's OK. She walks around the senior citizen home, where she finds him sitting by the pool with another female resident holding George's manhood. Furious, Bette yells, "You two-timing creep! What does she have that I don't have?!"
George smiles and replies......"Parkinson's"
George is 95 and lives in a senior citizen's home.
Every night after dinner, George goes to a secluded garden behind the centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Bette, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and, before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, George turns to ask, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks "What?" and he replies, "SEX!!"
Bette exclaims, "Why, you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," George says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while".
"Well, I suppose I can oblige," says Bette, who gently unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden, where they sit and talk while Bette holds George's manhood.
Then, one night, George doesn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Bette decides to find George and make sure that he's OK. She walks around the senior citizen home, where she finds him sitting by the pool with another female resident holding George's manhood. Furious, Bette yells, "You two-timing creep! What does she have that I don't have?!"
George smiles and replies......"Parkinson's"
Woohoo! *Whoops like on Jerry Springer*
Lol, very good.
Just received from a friend via e-mail...
-----
A German visiting London asks a hooker for sex and she tells him it's twenty quid.
"Fine" he says, "but I'm a bit kinky".
She agrees that this is OK as long as he doesn't do anything violent. They get back to her flat and he gets out four big springs attached to some straps.
"I want you to put one of these on each elbow and one on each knee" he asks.
The hooker is worried that she's getting into something a bit heavy, but she goes along with his request.
Then she is told to get down on all fours, naked, in front of him - which she does grudgingly.
Then he asks her to start bouncing up and down on the springs and finally he takes a duck call whistle from his pocket.
"Blow on this while I do you" he tells her.
So he's banging away while she's bouncing on the springs blowing the duck whistle.
Suddenly she starts to enjoy the herself, so much so in fact that she experiences the most fantastic orgasm she's ever had.
After they've finished she says... "Wow, that was the most fantastic sex I've had in 25 years on the game, how the hell did you make it so good?"
"Ah," he replies, smiling...
"Foursprung Duck Technique"
-----
A German visiting London asks a hooker for sex and she tells him it's twenty quid.
"Fine" he says, "but I'm a bit kinky".
She agrees that this is OK as long as he doesn't do anything violent. They get back to her flat and he gets out four big springs attached to some straps.
"I want you to put one of these on each elbow and one on each knee" he asks.
The hooker is worried that she's getting into something a bit heavy, but she goes along with his request.
Then she is told to get down on all fours, naked, in front of him - which she does grudgingly.
Then he asks her to start bouncing up and down on the springs and finally he takes a duck call whistle from his pocket.
"Blow on this while I do you" he tells her.
So he's banging away while she's bouncing on the springs blowing the duck whistle.
Suddenly she starts to enjoy the herself, so much so in fact that she experiences the most fantastic orgasm she's ever had.
After they've finished she says... "Wow, that was the most fantastic sex I've had in 25 years on the game, how the hell did you make it so good?"
"Ah," he replies, smiling...
"Foursprung Duck Technique"