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"I've done something very, very cool"

I've done something very, very cool...Well, not cool so much as difficult: as in it's been doing my head in all bloody night. Well I've figured it out now, which makes me, by extension, very, very cool.

Unfortunately I can't tell you what I've done because of its rather dubious legality. Hard luck.

why dont u emegrate,to austrailia,and buy a pet kangeroo

The leafy suburbs of England are alive with crackpotery.

I suggest you evoke a demon from the pits of hell to pursue him whilst he sleeps. May I point to a text of medieval occultism entitled: "The Black Pulpit" - I'm sure you'll find it in the village library.

Oops sorry people, didn't mean to cause so much pain and suffering. Unfortunately the very, very cool thing I've done is no longer going to work. Let me explain...

A man I have a personal vendetta against is standing for the parish council. I have hated him ever since, as head of Neighbourhood Watch, he began a mission against dogs messing on the pavements that killed Jock, my faithful Highland Terrier. I cannot let him get into power!

So anyway I was watching some TV show called 24 and it contained a flawless plan for assasinating a political candidate. Basically I figured out that I would have to kidnap our local policeman's family and frame HIM for the assasination. I spent last night working out the details - hacking into the village CCTV camera; setting up a coffee morning that would be attended by all prospetive candidates; hiring helicopters; decorating my evil lair...and so on.

All seemed ready until this late this morning when I watched the next episode of 24. Something went horribly wrong with the plan! The flawless genius whose plot I had copied wholesale was in fact a complete idiot!

Now I am desolate: I have no plan, and there is nothing I can do to stop that evil man becoming a parish coucillor. Unless someone out there can help.

unknown kernel wrote:
> I've done something very, very cool...Well, not cool so much as
> difficult: as in it's been doing my head in all bloody night. Well
> I've figured it out now, which makes me, by extension, very, very
> cool.
>
> Unfortunately I can't tell you what I've done because of its rather
> dubious legality. Hard luck.

then why tell us?

What is it unknown Kernal, did a girl finally speak to you or something or was it your first kiss??? You can tell us anything.

Nomad_Soul wrote:

> Like.....?
>
> Go on, dazzle us with your coolness.

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The list is too long to write, if i were to start now i wouldnt see you for a few days as id still be typing all the cool stuff i can do down.

:D

Hercules! wrote:
> Bah!
>
> I can do lots of cool things......

*

Like.....?

Go on, dazzle us with your coolness.

Bah!

I can do lots of cool things......

Jurassic Angel wrote:
See that soap? Go eat it!

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*foaming at the mouth*

Sorry, sir

He clearly discovered how to make the most pointless topic ever - congratulations to him, and to everyone who posted a crude reply? See that soap? Go eat it!

Disgusting children