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There she was. Not extremely pretty, not extremely sexy. But beautiful in her own, special way. It was hard to say why he was so drawn to her, but he just couldn’t pull himself away. It wasn’t lust, no, nothing like that. Although he wouldn’t reject the offer, it certainly wasn’t lust. But was it love?
How could he ever find out though? She was quite popular, and he…well, he wasn’t exactly the coolest guy around. Then again, he didn’t define people who hung around clubs all their lives getting drunk as cool. Just as she was gorgeous in her own way, he was cool in his own way. At least, in his mind he was. He liked his life, and the way he’d decided to live it. He was only fifteen, but already he could tell he was travelling in the right direction. Although he lacked in confidence, he had this strange feeling that he couldn’t quite place. A feeling that told him he would do well in life.
But would it be with her? He imagined it every second of every minute of every day. Whatever he did, he had her in mind. Playing football, he imagined himself doing the same in fifteen years time, but with her standing on the sideline cheering him on. Working on his PC, he imagined doing it again in fifteen years time, but with her always next to him, helping him. Talking to him. Laughing with him.
The lonely nights he spent trying to sleep. In the near future, would he be spending those nights with her by his side?
Life was nothing without her. If she was gone, he was gone. He really couldn’t picture life without her. In fact, he couldn’t picture his future without her. In everything he had planned, she was involved.
He felt alone. No one else knew of these feelings, these innermost feelings. Did anyone else feel like this? Did his parents feel like this? He doubted it, they didn’t show it too often. Then again, even arguing with her seemed like a joy.
He heard somewhere before that it was hard to say you loved someone, and yet it was hard to say you don’t. He related to that quote everyday of his life. Because, inadvertently however, he talked about her quite a lot to family and friends, he was often questioned about his feelings for her. Of course, he had to say they were just mates. Not even that, just someone he’d talked to before. And this hurt him terribly…it ripped his insides apart. He desperately wanted to tell them…tell them everything. He wanted to shout it out to the world.
He felt confused. Sometimes he wrestled with himself about whether it was love. And yet, sometimes, he knew it was love. One hundred percent totally sure that it was love. But how? Because of one day? One day where they had both happened to be in the right place at the right time for some boring, meaningless small-talk. Before that day he only knew her name, and from then onwards he’d been totally obsessed by her. She was his goal in life.
She walked closer. What to do? Say hello, start a conversation? No, that wouldn’t work. Nothing to talk about. Do nothing. Pretend not to have even acknowledged her. But no, that wasn’t right either. Maybe he should smile at her. But what if he smiled at her…and she didn’t return the favour?
His thoughts turned to the future again. What if, in a few years time, instead of walking by her, would he be walking with her? Next to her? Maybe with his arm around her to protect her from the harsh breeze.
What was it about that day that made him feel like this? Maybe it was the way she spoke to him. She didn’t look down on him like a lot of people. In fact, she didn’t look down on anyone. He’d heard her talking to a lot of people, and never had she put anyone down, whether it be to their face or behind their backs.
Even closer now. Panic setting in. His mind was racing, jumbled up messages of all different types flying through and around his brain, but none of them daring to take the initiative. His hands were becoming clammy and sweaty. BA-BOOM. BA-BOOM. His heart pounded like a jackhammer. BA-BOOM. It was the only sound he could hear. BA-BOOM.
That was it. He’d had enough. For once he was going to do it, for once he was going to take the confident approach. He was sick of waiting for other people to do things, he was sick of waiting for others to make decisions for him. For once he would be the one to take the step, for once he would take control of something in his life.
She walked past him, and he flashed a smile at her. She did the same.
He stood, almost in a state of non-thought. He tried to recover his senses, after the emotional beating he had just taken. He shook his head, and realised. She smiled at him! SHE had smiled BACK at HIM! He could have screamed for joy, but he didn’t. As always, he kept it all inside him. Where he kept everything. Maybe that was bad for him, but he felt it the only place he could release his true feelings.
He continued on, content. Content with life. That smile had proved something. He had a future…and it lay with her. It was set in stone. Just that mere smile, that tiny movement of muscles had changed his life forever. No longer did he have to worry about whether it was love. No longer did he have to hope that he would spend the rest of his life with her. He knew it was love. He knew they would spend the rest of their lives together. Even if they didn’t get married for another ten years, inside of himself, he knew they were together. Maybe she didn’t realise it yet, he expected that the smile was nothing to her. But to him, it was awesome.
The one thing he didn’t know however, was that she felt exactly the same way.
______________________________
Didn't check this through, so please excuse any unbelivably stupid errors. {:)
Thanks for reading, Ant.
How could he ever find out though? She was quite popular, and he…well, he wasn’t exactly the coolest guy around. Then again, he didn’t define people who hung around clubs all their lives getting drunk as cool. Just as she was gorgeous in her own way, he was cool in his own way. At least, in his mind he was. He liked his life, and the way he’d decided to live it. He was only fifteen, but already he could tell he was travelling in the right direction. Although he lacked in confidence, he had this strange feeling that he couldn’t quite place. A feeling that told him he would do well in life.
But would it be with her? He imagined it every second of every minute of every day. Whatever he did, he had her in mind. Playing football, he imagined himself doing the same in fifteen years time, but with her standing on the sideline cheering him on. Working on his PC, he imagined doing it again in fifteen years time, but with her always next to him, helping him. Talking to him. Laughing with him.
The lonely nights he spent trying to sleep. In the near future, would he be spending those nights with her by his side?
Life was nothing without her. If she was gone, he was gone. He really couldn’t picture life without her. In fact, he couldn’t picture his future without her. In everything he had planned, she was involved.
He felt alone. No one else knew of these feelings, these innermost feelings. Did anyone else feel like this? Did his parents feel like this? He doubted it, they didn’t show it too often. Then again, even arguing with her seemed like a joy.
He heard somewhere before that it was hard to say you loved someone, and yet it was hard to say you don’t. He related to that quote everyday of his life. Because, inadvertently however, he talked about her quite a lot to family and friends, he was often questioned about his feelings for her. Of course, he had to say they were just mates. Not even that, just someone he’d talked to before. And this hurt him terribly…it ripped his insides apart. He desperately wanted to tell them…tell them everything. He wanted to shout it out to the world.
He felt confused. Sometimes he wrestled with himself about whether it was love. And yet, sometimes, he knew it was love. One hundred percent totally sure that it was love. But how? Because of one day? One day where they had both happened to be in the right place at the right time for some boring, meaningless small-talk. Before that day he only knew her name, and from then onwards he’d been totally obsessed by her. She was his goal in life.
She walked closer. What to do? Say hello, start a conversation? No, that wouldn’t work. Nothing to talk about. Do nothing. Pretend not to have even acknowledged her. But no, that wasn’t right either. Maybe he should smile at her. But what if he smiled at her…and she didn’t return the favour?
His thoughts turned to the future again. What if, in a few years time, instead of walking by her, would he be walking with her? Next to her? Maybe with his arm around her to protect her from the harsh breeze.
What was it about that day that made him feel like this? Maybe it was the way she spoke to him. She didn’t look down on him like a lot of people. In fact, she didn’t look down on anyone. He’d heard her talking to a lot of people, and never had she put anyone down, whether it be to their face or behind their backs.
Even closer now. Panic setting in. His mind was racing, jumbled up messages of all different types flying through and around his brain, but none of them daring to take the initiative. His hands were becoming clammy and sweaty. BA-BOOM. BA-BOOM. His heart pounded like a jackhammer. BA-BOOM. It was the only sound he could hear. BA-BOOM.
That was it. He’d had enough. For once he was going to do it, for once he was going to take the confident approach. He was sick of waiting for other people to do things, he was sick of waiting for others to make decisions for him. For once he would be the one to take the step, for once he would take control of something in his life.
She walked past him, and he flashed a smile at her. She did the same.
He stood, almost in a state of non-thought. He tried to recover his senses, after the emotional beating he had just taken. He shook his head, and realised. She smiled at him! SHE had smiled BACK at HIM! He could have screamed for joy, but he didn’t. As always, he kept it all inside him. Where he kept everything. Maybe that was bad for him, but he felt it the only place he could release his true feelings.
He continued on, content. Content with life. That smile had proved something. He had a future…and it lay with her. It was set in stone. Just that mere smile, that tiny movement of muscles had changed his life forever. No longer did he have to worry about whether it was love. No longer did he have to hope that he would spend the rest of his life with her. He knew it was love. He knew they would spend the rest of their lives together. Even if they didn’t get married for another ten years, inside of himself, he knew they were together. Maybe she didn’t realise it yet, he expected that the smile was nothing to her. But to him, it was awesome.
The one thing he didn’t know however, was that she felt exactly the same way.
______________________________
Didn't check this through, so please excuse any unbelivably stupid errors. {:)
Thanks for reading, Ant.
Page:
Excellent. Missed this because I was working before... glad I read it, cus it moved me.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Top story Ant, well done.
Good stuff.
Smooth Criminal wrote:
> So, true story or made up?
>
> Great post.
99 percent made up, but with a tiny element of truth.
Very tiny though. {:)
> So, true story or made up?
>
> Great post.
99 percent made up, but with a tiny element of truth.
Very tiny though. {:)
Very good writing there Ant - Keep it up..
Hey Guyzer, you're a regular, congrats. {:)
Thanks for comments guys.
Thanks for comments guys.
I..need..more...of..these..posts...
MORE!
Oh, by the way, well done!
MORE!
Oh, by the way, well done!
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