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Being a big fan of atmospheric tension I would like to share with you a piece of my own, I have chosen a 'Max Payne' style that is both dark and gritty whilst being informative as well. At the end I would like you to comment on what you think I am trying to do and whether or not it gripped you to read on. Picture 'Max Payne' describing the following few paragraphs and envisage the carnage that will follow on after, if any of you enjoy reading this I will add a second chapter that would lead on from this, enjoy.
" I knew this was all I had left and over the past 2 years my gun has been a better friend than anyone I have ever known, my family and friends were shot down like flies and the stubble growing on my face explains my whole situation in one, I had one more task to complete and even the dark gates of hell could only begin to describe what I was going to let myself in for, the anger and pain was all hitting back like a bullet straight to my chest and there was only one thing left in my mind, pay-back!"
The streets were a lonely place apart from the odd tramp wallowing in his own self pity, as the rain beat down like silent drums I could only cling to the objects which kept me sane and to the normal innocent bystander even they would think I had lost the plot. With my gun loaded with a fresh 9mm clip I was prepared for hell on earth, after facing my worst nightmare on more than one occasion I no-longer bothered of the odd mad man playing soldier, as sick as it may sound it is the only thing that keeps me from losing the rail of life and losing my own sanity. All I wanted was revenge, revenge is very sweet and with a heart like stone I was now in a constant battle with my conscience and no-matter what it throws at me I always find a way to throw it back.
The mid-night sky was a display of fireworks, gun-shots and the odd trail of smelling rotting corpses that were down almost every ally way and every door I walked by. My life was more or less over and every bullet I fire from my gun I know one day a bullet of the same Calibur will hunt me down, the bullet will have my name written all over it in big letters ' M-A-X P-A-Y-N-E '! Desperation was my new food and my water, BLOOD! I now feared nothing, rain was a mere factor of life that bothered me before but with arteries like boulders of clay I was tougher than ever and I was prepared with what was going to come!
As I meandered through the streets like a swollen river I came accross more and more signs that were leading me into what was going to come. The homeless begged helplessly as brushed past them, I thought to myself ' they do not no the meaning of heart break and their situations can be resolved, mine could only be eased '!
Lightening stuck down parallel to the edge of my 'final destination', the destiny of myself and the others around me is all inscribed into the bullets from which I will add my own bit of lighting master-piece to the mid-night air, fear was in the air and I was walking through it like I would through a door, I could feel the tension in the air as the sound from angry weapons shot through the air creating a wave of uneasy blurs, I knew what I had to face and I knew it was coming soon!
My night was just beginning, more was to come and anyone interested in my night-mare please post below, I knew what I had to do and to keep myself sane my itchy trigger finger had to be scratched and with that... B--A--N--G! Bring on the PAYNE!
" I knew this was all I had left and over the past 2 years my gun has been a better friend than anyone I have ever known, my family and friends were shot down like flies and the stubble growing on my face explains my whole situation in one, I had one more task to complete and even the dark gates of hell could only begin to describe what I was going to let myself in for, the anger and pain was all hitting back like a bullet straight to my chest and there was only one thing left in my mind, pay-back!"
The streets were a lonely place apart from the odd tramp wallowing in his own self pity, as the rain beat down like silent drums I could only cling to the objects which kept me sane and to the normal innocent bystander even they would think I had lost the plot. With my gun loaded with a fresh 9mm clip I was prepared for hell on earth, after facing my worst nightmare on more than one occasion I no-longer bothered of the odd mad man playing soldier, as sick as it may sound it is the only thing that keeps me from losing the rail of life and losing my own sanity. All I wanted was revenge, revenge is very sweet and with a heart like stone I was now in a constant battle with my conscience and no-matter what it throws at me I always find a way to throw it back.
The mid-night sky was a display of fireworks, gun-shots and the odd trail of smelling rotting corpses that were down almost every ally way and every door I walked by. My life was more or less over and every bullet I fire from my gun I know one day a bullet of the same Calibur will hunt me down, the bullet will have my name written all over it in big letters ' M-A-X P-A-Y-N-E '! Desperation was my new food and my water, BLOOD! I now feared nothing, rain was a mere factor of life that bothered me before but with arteries like boulders of clay I was tougher than ever and I was prepared with what was going to come!
As I meandered through the streets like a swollen river I came accross more and more signs that were leading me into what was going to come. The homeless begged helplessly as brushed past them, I thought to myself ' they do not no the meaning of heart break and their situations can be resolved, mine could only be eased '!
Lightening stuck down parallel to the edge of my 'final destination', the destiny of myself and the others around me is all inscribed into the bullets from which I will add my own bit of lighting master-piece to the mid-night air, fear was in the air and I was walking through it like I would through a door, I could feel the tension in the air as the sound from angry weapons shot through the air creating a wave of uneasy blurs, I knew what I had to face and I knew it was coming soon!
My night was just beginning, more was to come and anyone interested in my night-mare please post below, I knew what I had to do and to keep myself sane my itchy trigger finger had to be scratched and with that... B--A--N--G! Bring on the PAYNE!
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Being a big fan of atmospheric tension I would like to share with you a piece of my own, I have chosen a 'Max Payne' style that is both dark and gritty whilst being informative as well. At the end I would like you to comment on what you think I am trying to do and whether or not it gripped you to read on. Picture 'Max Payne' describing the following few paragraphs and envisage the carnage that will follow on after, if any of you enjoy reading this I will add a second chapter that would lead on from this, enjoy.
" I knew this was all I had left and over the past 2 years my gun has been a better friend than anyone I have ever known, my family and friends were shot down like flies and the stubble growing on my face explains my whole situation in one, I had one more task to complete and even the dark gates of hell could only begin to describe what I was going to let myself in for, the anger and pain was all hitting back like a bullet straight to my chest and there was only one thing left in my mind, pay-back!"
The streets were a lonely place apart from the odd tramp wallowing in his own self pity, as the rain beat down like silent drums I could only cling to the objects which kept me sane and to the normal innocent bystander even they would think I had lost the plot. With my gun loaded with a fresh 9mm clip I was prepared for hell on earth, after facing my worst nightmare on more than one occasion I no-longer bothered of the odd mad man playing soldier, as sick as it may sound it is the only thing that keeps me from losing the rail of life and losing my own sanity. All I wanted was revenge, revenge is very sweet and with a heart like stone I was now in a constant battle with my conscience and no-matter what it throws at me I always find a way to throw it back.
The mid-night sky was a display of fireworks, gun-shots and the odd trail of smelling rotting corpses that were down almost every ally way and every door I walked by. My life was more or less over and every bullet I fire from my gun I know one day a bullet of the same Calibur will hunt me down, the bullet will have my name written all over it in big letters ' M-A-X P-A-Y-N-E '! Desperation was my new food and my water, BLOOD! I now feared nothing, rain was a mere factor of life that bothered me before but with arteries like boulders of clay I was tougher than ever and I was prepared with what was going to come!
As I meandered through the streets like a swollen river I came accross more and more signs that were leading me into what was going to come. The homeless begged helplessly as brushed past them, I thought to myself ' they do not no the meaning of heart break and their situations can be resolved, mine could only be eased '!
Lightening stuck down parallel to the edge of my 'final destination', the destiny of myself and the others around me is all inscribed into the bullets from which I will add my own bit of lighting master-piece to the mid-night air, fear was in the air and I was walking through it like I would through a door, I could feel the tension in the air as the sound from angry weapons shot through the air creating a wave of uneasy blurs, I knew what I had to face and I knew it was coming soon!
My night was just beginning, more was to come and anyone interested in my night-mare please post below, I knew what I had to do and to keep myself sane my itchy trigger finger had to be scratched and with that... B--A--N--G! Bring on the PAYNE!
" I knew this was all I had left and over the past 2 years my gun has been a better friend than anyone I have ever known, my family and friends were shot down like flies and the stubble growing on my face explains my whole situation in one, I had one more task to complete and even the dark gates of hell could only begin to describe what I was going to let myself in for, the anger and pain was all hitting back like a bullet straight to my chest and there was only one thing left in my mind, pay-back!"
The streets were a lonely place apart from the odd tramp wallowing in his own self pity, as the rain beat down like silent drums I could only cling to the objects which kept me sane and to the normal innocent bystander even they would think I had lost the plot. With my gun loaded with a fresh 9mm clip I was prepared for hell on earth, after facing my worst nightmare on more than one occasion I no-longer bothered of the odd mad man playing soldier, as sick as it may sound it is the only thing that keeps me from losing the rail of life and losing my own sanity. All I wanted was revenge, revenge is very sweet and with a heart like stone I was now in a constant battle with my conscience and no-matter what it throws at me I always find a way to throw it back.
The mid-night sky was a display of fireworks, gun-shots and the odd trail of smelling rotting corpses that were down almost every ally way and every door I walked by. My life was more or less over and every bullet I fire from my gun I know one day a bullet of the same Calibur will hunt me down, the bullet will have my name written all over it in big letters ' M-A-X P-A-Y-N-E '! Desperation was my new food and my water, BLOOD! I now feared nothing, rain was a mere factor of life that bothered me before but with arteries like boulders of clay I was tougher than ever and I was prepared with what was going to come!
As I meandered through the streets like a swollen river I came accross more and more signs that were leading me into what was going to come. The homeless begged helplessly as brushed past them, I thought to myself ' they do not no the meaning of heart break and their situations can be resolved, mine could only be eased '!
Lightening stuck down parallel to the edge of my 'final destination', the destiny of myself and the others around me is all inscribed into the bullets from which I will add my own bit of lighting master-piece to the mid-night air, fear was in the air and I was walking through it like I would through a door, I could feel the tension in the air as the sound from angry weapons shot through the air creating a wave of uneasy blurs, I knew what I had to face and I knew it was coming soon!
My night was just beginning, more was to come and anyone interested in my night-mare please post below, I knew what I had to do and to keep myself sane my itchy trigger finger had to be scratched and with that... B--A--N--G! Bring on the PAYNE!
Here, Here but did you like the description? Do you think a sequel is deservant?
There is going to be film, go to www.ign.com it is on there, I think Russel Crowe should especially with the right hair cut.
LOL! He does, I think he would be perfect for the part.
Silent85 wrote:
> Just make sure he doesn't go the BAFTA'S again :)
Too true, at the moment he looks like a tramp and a role as Max Payne will bring him into a decent look again, he can lose the girls hair do! LOL.
> Just make sure he doesn't go the BAFTA'S again :)
Too true, at the moment he looks like a tramp and a role as Max Payne will bring him into a decent look again, he can lose the girls hair do! LOL.
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