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Diary of a newbie.
Introduction
After recent events it occurred to me to follow this up. Regulars always complained about newbies spamming and newbies always complained about regulars picking on them. Victimisation being a key word here. I would know, once being a newbie myself and being picked on by the likes of Badgerman. Luckily I found out, that not all regulars are like this when Shadow came and helped me out. So in true spy style I decided that I would get my mate Darkside XL to pose as a newbie, not revealing who I really am, and singly point out those who are helping the newbies, and those who are threatening them. Knowing you all out there, this is either going to get ignored, or it is going to get heavily criticized but anyway here it goes. If it has ever came to your mind that I was acting like a prat when being a newbie then that’s ok. Most of the time, my mate was posing as the newbie and wrote this diary.
All I did was pay him a fiver for this to claim it as my own. BARGAIN. Remember, it wasn’t me. It was Darkside XL that wrote this diary and he wrote it while I was on holiday. GET IT?
P.S, it is heavily important that you read most of it for my sake. I did pay a fiver for it after all.
Day 1
Today I signed up as absolutely nutty. Its 2:40 and my first messages are posted. How will everyone react? Well to my post in the playstation forum, everyone ignored it. However in the FOG forum, I was treated much better there with Totoro sharing a joke with me. Its now 3:00 and I’ve joined three other newbies in their conversation at the playstation forum. We get on fine but when they chatted to these same guys with my Regular name, they ignore me. The war between Newbies and Regular continues. 3:30 is my second attempt to make peace with the regulars. This time they notice me but complain about other Newbies and accuse me of spamming when it’s only my 4th post. Therefore I feel that’s enough for now. Sign back on at 5:15 for 15 minutes before my dinner. During this period I was again ignored by the playstation forum and in the FOG forum, everyone was too busy chatting to each other to notice me. Therefore I gave up for today.
Day 2
Today I signed in at 10am. My task for today was to ask regulars from all different forums ‘how to get a tagline.’ In the FOG chat forum, Monkey Man made jokes with me while telling me how to do it. Thank you Monkey Man. I also got a reply from Goatboy how to do it and he’s a notable but I thought the notables were of all people going to ignore me. Thank you Goatboy. However as expected, some regular told me in nice words to Pi55 off and suggested everyone to ignore me. His name was CJH. So thank you to KR who helped me with this find. In the Playstation forum, the reply was 15 minutes later then I posted it, but I got a reply from Jive with a welcome to the playstation forum. Thank you Jive. In the Nintendo forum, which seems to be home of newbies, no one replied. Most doubt because it’s a ghost forum. It is 10:30 and I sign off to get ready for college. I sign back on at 5:15 when I arrive back from college. I say hi to everyone in the playstation forum, only Nh bothers to reply. And the other three regulars there? Well who knows? Then I asked in the FOG forum why some people had purple names and others were red. Protoss was the only one who replied and he is a newbie so once again the regulars ignore me. I come back on at 10pm and hung around for a couple of hours. I discuss with others if Gran Turismo 3 is worth buying at £20 and they had no problem with my discussions. It seems the late nighters are more polite than the eveners. The eveners must be kids then. I decide at 11:30 to call it for the night.
Day 3
I wake up early and try to involve myself with the other regulars. I start by asking about some Sony Cronies group. They wouldn’t tell me what they were, just who they were. That was a lot of help then. Later on in the night time I made up a topic on if I should get dead or alive 2 for £20. It got a lot of replies and there were no complaints.
I signed back on after work at 10pm. I went to a topic where someone had been banned but could still chat and stayed there for quite a while. Then someone mentioned Shaneo so I asked who Shaneo was. Then suddenly Afrojoe was accusing me of being Shaneo. That kind of annoyed me, as I knew I wasn’t Shaneo and now I know how other newbies feel when they are accused of someone they aren’t. Therefore I exited quickly and started a topic about whether I should get AOE and the expansion pack for £17.99. What a surprise, no one bothers to reply here. At least in the playstation forum, I would get a reply. Then suddenly 15 minutes later I get a reply from FinalFantasyFanatic complaining that this topic was spam. Luckily Edgy came and replied to my topic and didn’t think this way. After that, no one else wanted to reply. I go around for a bit and then decide to sign off at 23:30 right after jackass.
Day 4
I sign on at 3:00 to originally keep up with the football results but while I am online I might as well visit SR. I make a topic asking for opinions on Grand Theft Auto 3. It’s now 3:30 and still no reply to my topic. Maybe everyone has had enough of Grand Theft auto 3 topics. Therefore I waste my time by asking fellow users why my name is Brownie-red when it used to be just red. I decide to leave and play football with my mates until later. In fact I finished at 9pm. I come back, eat my dinner, drink plenty of fluids and sign back on at 9:50pm. I check out replies to my topics and there are 5 but all are helpful towards my questions. Next I make a tagline saying
‘BING IS MY FATHER’ and asked for opinions on it. KR makes a joke on it, but he would since he’s the insider. I’m running out of things to do now so I just go around the forums chatting until 11pm, which is when I decide to sign off.
Day 5
Wake up at 11:30am and play a little dead or alive 2. Then my sister leaves which means it’s time to sign in at 1:20. I go to the playstation and FOG chat forum to ask what GAD is and how you get it. In the playstation forum, Absolut neo as much as him and me have had disagreements, was very helpful and was very quick to tell me. Thank you Absolut Neo. However in the FOG chat, day walker refused to tell me many times. It’s not very busy at this moment so at 2pm I sign off and aim to come back in the evening. I sign back in at 4:25. I decide to visit the FOG chat forum and see if any has bothered to answer my GAD question. YES, but only twain and he only gave a small bit of information unlike Absolut Neo. But anyway thank you twain. Now it’s 4:30, time for my next question. ‘What are the top posters? Posted in both FOG chat and the playstation forums I wait for answers. Hercules, in the playstation forum only said ‘the people who have posted the most.’ That really helped. Hercules gave the same useless information as twain in the FOG forum so I still have no idea how to get to top posters. With twain Famed and Shamed, he has been cancelled out. Anyway at 5pm I sign in as Darkside XL so I leave my newbie file until tomorrow.
Day 6
Sign in at 5:30. Watch the Nike advert for the 50th time since I’ve downloaded it. I still think it’s great. I have a little chat in the playstation forum until 7pm, which is when I sign off. After my dinner, I have a bath and play a bit of football. Then at 9:50 I sign back in. I go to the playstation forum where everyone is having a go at someone called Grapo. Nothing much is going on so I go to the FOG chat and ask what spam is. Quinty replies by saying ‘what you have just written.’ Yes he’s right but I was only asking. Then Rainer Wolfcastle replies with’ he/she must be having a laugh! Some sort of irony in there I’m sure. Okay I was only asking a simple question. I then ask the same question in the playstation forum. It takes a long time to get a reply and I have to ask twice but in the end Hercules gave me an 8-line explanation, which taught me a lot about spam. Thank you Hercules. Since Hercules has been Famed and Shamed he has cancelled himself off the list. Afrojoe also told me what spam was a couple of minutes later but only a brief explanation compared to Hercules speech. It is now 10:20. I have 10 minutes to go before I log off so I head towards the sport forum for a chat on football. The topic I made with Darkside XL seems to be doing well. (It was on predictions for promotion in the season 2002/2003) Everyone is agreeing with my predictions although I don’t really want that, I want someone to give different predictions. Anyway it is now 10:28 and I decide to sign off and come back tomorrow afternoon.
Day 7
I sign in late today at 2:40, after I have just had a massive multiplayer game on age of empires. I lost but then again it was my first ever go at a multiplayer game on AOE and I was playing a master. I first travel to the playstation forum and join in conversation in the longest thread. Nothing is happening in the FOG chat forum so I stay here for a while. It is 3pm and I am running short of questions to ask the regulars that newbies don’t know the answers to. (God help me how I’m going to get through the 21 days) Then I thought of a great task. To find out whom the longest serving user is. With my Darkside XL file, I thought it was Cooky but know with my Absolutely nutty file, I aim to officially find out who it is. I will post the same topic in the FOG chat and the playstation forum and release my findings tomorrow. After posting these topics I sign off. However I sign back on at 10.30pm when all the mature users should sign in. I go back into the playstation forum and see that an argument between Mr Chainsaw (formally known as Grapo) and the others leads to a threatening of banning. This gives me an idea. I ask both the FOG chat and the playstation forums how you get banned. Again the results of this will be tomorrow as I am now finding it hard to think of questions to ask regulars every day. Everything is getting quiet so I decide to sign off at 11.30pm.
Week 1 analysis
I have had a good week with no problems and all my questions answered politely and with good information apart from the odd one or two. If I was a real newbie to this website, I would definitely come back for the next week and see what happens then. The most helpful member this week was a joint win by Toroto and Hercules who both helped me in lightning speed. The most annoying member this week was Day walker and funnily enough has been banned since this was written. Here is the list in full.
Famed
Totoro (twice)
Monkey Man
Goatboy
NH
Protoss
KR
Edgy
Absolut Neo
Hercules
Shamed
CJH
Afrojoe
FinalFantasyFanatic
Day Walker
Day 8
It’s Wednesday and these are usually the hardest days for this as it is my day off college. It has also been a week since I signed up as absolutely nutty. Not the best of names so I plan to get this changed tomorrow with the help of the regulars. Anyway, here are the results of yesterday’s tests. First I asked how you get banned. Hercules answered this in a split second at the playstation forum so he will be famed. This is the second time he has been now. And in the FOG forum, Mystique made a joke but that doesn’t help me and Toroto told me with an example almost as fast as Hercules so he will be famed yet again. In the other test I asked who was the oldest member on SR. 15 replies were counted from both forums and it looks like the winner is Cooky. Now back to the diary. I don’t really do much today as I have been continuously been hassled by my mate to give him loads of modem games on Age of Empires. No wonder if he beats me every time. I had a little chat in sport but that was about it.
Day 9
My god, it has been 9 days already. No wonder the 102 days flown by on my Darkside XL file. Anyway, 6 modem games on Age of Empires and a long day at college, I sign in at 5:10. I have a little chat in the playstation forum while I think of the next big thing to do. At 5:30 I sign off to eat my dinner and will come back later. I sign back on later at 11pm when nothing is on T.V. I submit some cheats to try and win GAD. (I know it is a cheap way of winning it but it leads towards my topic.)
Then I submit a topic in SR customer services forum to ask how they pick the winners of those who submit cheats.
Hercules answered after 3 minutes so for the third time he is famed. But I really am actually looking for a reply by the SR team and see what they say. I don’t really expect an answer until tomorrow, as it is so late. It is 11:22 and it seems no one is online so therefore I decide to sign off until tomorrow.
Day 10
Christ, it has been 10 days now. Anyway the results of yesterday’s topic are in. Totoro was the only other who replied out of the regulars but unfortunately cannot be famed as Hercules was there first. Hybrid Valves answered my topic with a phrase I have heard many times. ‘ It is Quality not Quantity.’ Ok then, if this was the case then how have I seen GAD wins by regulars who have submitted over 190 cheats. Now you can’t say it’s Quality that counts then can you.
I would sign on at this moment but I have a lot of assignments to get in to my college by today so it’s work, work, and work.
I sign back on at 7:30. My assignments are in and I have the weekend to relax. There is a copularity pontest in the playstation forum so I go in at enter my opinions of the other members. I then read that Asher D has been accusing Hercules. I back up Hercules since he has already helped me out three times. No doubt though that Asher D will hold that against me in the future.
I go around chatting in the playstation forum and then at 8:30 I sign off to watch Allistar McGowan’s big impressions.
I sign back on at 10:48 and chat around for about an hour before I go to bed.
Day 11
It’s Saturday and today is the day I find out if Woking football club are safe. I sign in at 2:00pm and chat for a while in the playstation forum. Then I decide to ask the FOG Prime topic forum and the playstation forum what POP means.
In the playstation forum everyone is ignoring me and even Hercules is ignoring me this time. I ask again and this time Quinty replies with ‘it means they there respective thread has been ended.’ To be honest I don’t know if this is right but he gave me an answer so Quinty has been famed. It has been an hour and still no reply in the FOG prime forum so I abandon that idea.
I chat around the forums and MSN for a couple of hours while listening to the football. Woking drew and we are safe to play conference football next season. About an hour after the football finishes, I sign off at around 5:45pm.
I signed back in at 10pm and chat in the playstation forum. 10 minutes I go to FOG chat and I see that twain is taking the mick out of Absolutely Nutty. For this he has been shamed. I spend the rest of my time in the crap joke topic where (the topic says it all) crap jokes are being made. Then at about 10:48pm I sign off for the day.
Day 12
I decide to sign in at 2:45pm today. There is rumour of KR spamming so I decide to defend him in the playstation forum.
Then I moved to the FOG chat forum where members are complaining about may, and how exams are clashing with big upcoming things. Remember yesterday when I asked what POP means to the regulars. Well it seems El Liquido has been stealing this idea and posting it as his own. For this he is definitely being shamed. This incident has made me quite angry so I post my new found hatred all over the longest thread in the playstation forum. After I have done this, I sign up for RM18’s upcoming spoof. I then change to my Darkside XL file at 3:30pm. I decide to sign back in at 9:00pm but only for 30 minutes.
I found out something interesting in the FOG chat forum. Hybrid Valves managed to turn his writing red. However this is all that happened before I signed off for the day.
Day 13
I decide for an early morning and sign in at 7:45am. I chat around the playstation forum and the sport forum but nothing is happening this morning. It is probably because of the time. Since nothing is going on, I make for a quick exit at around 8:20am.
Remember when I asked how to win GAD a couple of days ago. Well I look at gameaday.com today and guess what?
I didn’t win but that won’t put me off and today I will try again. I sign back in at 3:45pm after an easy day at college and check my stats. 194 posts and 4687 words. 100 posts to go, 5000 odd posts to go and 9 days to go until I am a regular. The only way possible to make regular stats in time is to spam and to spam is stupid so regulars Ville looks so far away. Unless I make a good long post which will be a good attempt for a GAD and bring my word count up without spamming. So that’s what I did.
It is all about the upcoming month and what it holds for us. I post another topic in the SR customer services forum. It asks if you can transfer stats to another file. You’ll see what I mean if you read the topic. I post a topic about this diary but disguise it as a story. I get 15 replies in 10 minutes asking what it’s about. They’ll find out soon that’s for sure. I sign off at 5pm for a game of Age of empires and then dinner. I later sign back on at 9:55 but only for a couple of minutes because I have phone calls to make regarding my very own Personal Computer in my room. While I’m here, I have a conversation with KR on MSN about what I should do next. Also I see that Big Slow is spamming again like usual. My topic in SR customer services hasn’t even been looked at and 2 people have only replied to my other topic in the Playstation forum and they were newbies.
After looking at all this I sign back off at 10pm.
Day 14
2 weeks now I have been at SR with my absolutely nutty file. The first week passed like nothing but this week has dragged on a bit. Plus this diary must have dragged on a bit since it has been just below three thousand five hundred words according to word count. (3,472 to be exact) I sign in at 9:30 to enter a load of cheats before I come on chat at 9:50.
I seems still no one has answered my question in the SR customer services forum so that’s officially dead before it even got answered. I look at my stats and I now have 6696 words posted instead of yesterday’s 4687. But my post count is only up by 17. Today I have entered a Time Crisis 2 walkthrough, which I hope will win. Soon we will find out. After I submit the walkthrough I sign off at 10:15am. I sign back in just over 12 hours later at 10:45pm. Recently I have had doubts about my username and tagline; therefore I go to the Playstation forum and ask for opinions. I get a suggestion like Jebus and in the end I change it to The Kebab Man. After this, I ask around about this notable stuff in the FOG chat forum. I get told it is a vote for a regular to become a notable. (High and mighty) So I ask who votes and when it takes place. Hercules wouldn’t tell me and replied ‘ Never mind, you don’t need to know just yet.’ So I still have no idea. With this I sign off at 11:30pm.
Week 2 analysis
This week has been quite boring and has passed very slowly. Maybe it is due to the fact that I don’t know what to ask anymore or that no one has done any exciting posts. If it weren’t for the fact that in one week I would turn regular, then I wouldn’t have stayed here from day 9. This week’s best poster for me would again be Hercules. If I ask something, he’ll answer it straight away regardless of the time. Although this could be due to the fact he is on here 18 hours a day. My worst poster would definitely have to be El Liquido. He copies my ideas, classes them as his own and denies everything when I have posted a link to the proof. He is stupid as well as a cheat then. With 1 week to go, I hope this week will go fast and can’t wait when this is posted for everyone to read.
Famed
Hercules
Quinty
Shamed
Twain
El Liquido
Day 15
The countdown has started with 7 days to go. As usual Wednesdays are the longest days for me with it being my day off college. I hope to sleep throughout the day but endless phone calls wake me from my slumber. ‘Want a game of Age of Empires so I can kick your a55 again’ it says. I can’t refuse so ahead I go and lose again. Then I start to feel a queasy feeling in my stomach. I go lay down and find myself waking up at 4:45pm. So this is when I signed on. I go to the playstation forum and yet again someone is doing a story. He is complaining how 2 and a half pages is too long for him. This is currently 8 pages long and I’m going for 10 so excuse me if he’s having a hard time writing. Then Cipro comes out with ‘it’s quality not quantity.’
Lately I have had enough of this saying, as I know what it means so why do I have to hear it off every regular every day.
Is it because I’m a newbie and they think I need this telling everyday? Well I don’t. For this Cipro has been shamed.
With only 1 week left, I need a topic that would unsettle the forums before I reveal myself. So at 5:15pm, I admit that I am actually a regular disguising myself as a newbie. I sign out as the newbie and sign in as Mandatare at 5:20pm. I check out the topic I had just posted 30 minutes ago. No body cares. THANK CHRIST as it is much easier on me when I reveal who I really am on Wednesday. After this I switch off for the night.
Day 16
The first thing I do when is sign in at 10:00am is to give a clue about who I am. Then I go to the longest thread. No one seems to be there except Mandatare, SSX pro and small frog. I chat around but nothing is happening now so I aim to come back later. Before this though, I check out everyone’s reaction to the clue. Everyone is guessing but they’re guessing wrong. Answers that came in were Dringo, Dan2k2 and Dangsta hamster. I sign back in 12 hours later at 10:00pm. Unknown to me, KR has admitted he is the insider. This isn’t at all helpful to my plans and also unknown to me, KR has told Mandatare about this project as well so now Mandatare wants to buy this project off of me. Oh well, a fiver isn’t bad but if it wins GAD I’ll hit myself. I then decide to sign back off at 10:30pm
Day 17
After a very long day of tests and more tests I find myself asleep at 6:30pm. I get woken up at 9pm to go to work. I finish work and then sign on at 10:45pm. I expect it to be quiet because of the gamecube so now I’ll find out. And I am right.
No one is in the playstation forum except Hercules and Tom. In the FOG chat there is a funny incident-involving Ant the notable becoming a regular after his username doesn’t work. HA. Officially now it is into day 18 but I continue chatting for another 30 minutes to Tom and big slow. Big slow keeps spamming and I have had complaints about him on MSN so I decide to have a go at him for it. Then he tried to accuse me of spamming which definitely isn’t true because that is the point of this diary. For that Big slow has been shamed. We seem to continue this argument for a very long time until I decide it’s time to leave. I would continue to chat but a stomachache has suddenly hit me so I sign off at 00:30.
Day 18
After a long sleep I decide to log on ½ way through the cup final. 4:00pm to those who don’t like football.
I head straight to the Playstation forum where KR is actually on for once. Since everyone now knows KR is in on this, I wait to see what everyone will say to us. As soon as I bring up the subject KR goes missing. It seems he hates being involved. He comes back in 30 minutes but disappears again when I say hello to him. I sign off at 7:00pm to go out but sign back on at 10:55. This time KR decides not to run. Everyone still finds this game stupid but then again so do I. I then tell everyone that there is now another insider. This is Mandatare of course and he came round my house today and seen the extend of what I was doing and now he definitely wants to buy it from me. I sign into my Darkside XL file for now but will sign back in later at midnight.
Day 19
It is midnight and I sign back on with the kebab man. Now I announce who I am and that Mandatare was also in on it. Only Hercules seems to respond to this but after all, it is very early in the morning. No one seems to be here so I anxiously await KR to return. He does return at 00:45am. I don’t see much point in hanging around so sign off at 01:00am. I get taken out for the day on Sunday and after we return I can’t seem to find the modem line. It seems my mother has hidden it due to the late night I have had today/yesterday. I desperately try to find it but am condemned to playing my n64 ROMs.
Day 20
I was about to sign on when I received an important phone call. A relative has died so I find myself on a long drive down towards Woking to pay respects. Therefore today I haven’t signed on at all.
Day 21
It is the final day and I finally sign in at 8:25 after my Aol wouldn’t connect to the Internet for 20 minutes. I see big slow is spamming again with the help of a newbie called Timmy. Then I have a chat with KR whether to post this topic in the FOG chat, playstation forum, or both. He says both. I have a bath at 9pm and come back 15 minutes later to find Tom Wilson playing lovey duvey with my sister. (Hands off KR) I finish this post, which includes the basic proofreading and spellchecker.
I now await the accusations or bad replies that await Mandatare and me as I get him to post this topic at 9:35pm.
Famed
No one
Shamed
Cipro
Big slow
Analysis of whole experience
First I found out that KR could keep secrets. Also I learned that most regulars do help when asked but there are still the odd few regulars that shun you. The best regular I had spoken to during this experience was Hercules. He was definitely the most helpful and friendly user. I can’t really pick out the worst user to me, as there were so many. The first week was good as I had a lot of questions to ask. The second week got a bit boring as I struggled to think of things to chat about. The third week was nothing really because it was the week I told everyone about this. The whole experience was good but I wouldn’t want to do it again.
SUPREME FAMED REGULAR
Hercules
Introduction
After recent events it occurred to me to follow this up. Regulars always complained about newbies spamming and newbies always complained about regulars picking on them. Victimisation being a key word here. I would know, once being a newbie myself and being picked on by the likes of Badgerman. Luckily I found out, that not all regulars are like this when Shadow came and helped me out. So in true spy style I decided that I would get my mate Darkside XL to pose as a newbie, not revealing who I really am, and singly point out those who are helping the newbies, and those who are threatening them. Knowing you all out there, this is either going to get ignored, or it is going to get heavily criticized but anyway here it goes. If it has ever came to your mind that I was acting like a prat when being a newbie then that’s ok. Most of the time, my mate was posing as the newbie and wrote this diary.
All I did was pay him a fiver for this to claim it as my own. BARGAIN. Remember, it wasn’t me. It was Darkside XL that wrote this diary and he wrote it while I was on holiday. GET IT?
P.S, it is heavily important that you read most of it for my sake. I did pay a fiver for it after all.
Day 1
Today I signed up as absolutely nutty. Its 2:40 and my first messages are posted. How will everyone react? Well to my post in the playstation forum, everyone ignored it. However in the FOG forum, I was treated much better there with Totoro sharing a joke with me. Its now 3:00 and I’ve joined three other newbies in their conversation at the playstation forum. We get on fine but when they chatted to these same guys with my Regular name, they ignore me. The war between Newbies and Regular continues. 3:30 is my second attempt to make peace with the regulars. This time they notice me but complain about other Newbies and accuse me of spamming when it’s only my 4th post. Therefore I feel that’s enough for now. Sign back on at 5:15 for 15 minutes before my dinner. During this period I was again ignored by the playstation forum and in the FOG forum, everyone was too busy chatting to each other to notice me. Therefore I gave up for today.
Day 2
Today I signed in at 10am. My task for today was to ask regulars from all different forums ‘how to get a tagline.’ In the FOG chat forum, Monkey Man made jokes with me while telling me how to do it. Thank you Monkey Man. I also got a reply from Goatboy how to do it and he’s a notable but I thought the notables were of all people going to ignore me. Thank you Goatboy. However as expected, some regular told me in nice words to Pi55 off and suggested everyone to ignore me. His name was CJH. So thank you to KR who helped me with this find. In the Playstation forum, the reply was 15 minutes later then I posted it, but I got a reply from Jive with a welcome to the playstation forum. Thank you Jive. In the Nintendo forum, which seems to be home of newbies, no one replied. Most doubt because it’s a ghost forum. It is 10:30 and I sign off to get ready for college. I sign back on at 5:15 when I arrive back from college. I say hi to everyone in the playstation forum, only Nh bothers to reply. And the other three regulars there? Well who knows? Then I asked in the FOG forum why some people had purple names and others were red. Protoss was the only one who replied and he is a newbie so once again the regulars ignore me. I come back on at 10pm and hung around for a couple of hours. I discuss with others if Gran Turismo 3 is worth buying at £20 and they had no problem with my discussions. It seems the late nighters are more polite than the eveners. The eveners must be kids then. I decide at 11:30 to call it for the night.
Day 3
I wake up early and try to involve myself with the other regulars. I start by asking about some Sony Cronies group. They wouldn’t tell me what they were, just who they were. That was a lot of help then. Later on in the night time I made up a topic on if I should get dead or alive 2 for £20. It got a lot of replies and there were no complaints.
I signed back on after work at 10pm. I went to a topic where someone had been banned but could still chat and stayed there for quite a while. Then someone mentioned Shaneo so I asked who Shaneo was. Then suddenly Afrojoe was accusing me of being Shaneo. That kind of annoyed me, as I knew I wasn’t Shaneo and now I know how other newbies feel when they are accused of someone they aren’t. Therefore I exited quickly and started a topic about whether I should get AOE and the expansion pack for £17.99. What a surprise, no one bothers to reply here. At least in the playstation forum, I would get a reply. Then suddenly 15 minutes later I get a reply from FinalFantasyFanatic complaining that this topic was spam. Luckily Edgy came and replied to my topic and didn’t think this way. After that, no one else wanted to reply. I go around for a bit and then decide to sign off at 23:30 right after jackass.
Day 4
I sign on at 3:00 to originally keep up with the football results but while I am online I might as well visit SR. I make a topic asking for opinions on Grand Theft Auto 3. It’s now 3:30 and still no reply to my topic. Maybe everyone has had enough of Grand Theft auto 3 topics. Therefore I waste my time by asking fellow users why my name is Brownie-red when it used to be just red. I decide to leave and play football with my mates until later. In fact I finished at 9pm. I come back, eat my dinner, drink plenty of fluids and sign back on at 9:50pm. I check out replies to my topics and there are 5 but all are helpful towards my questions. Next I make a tagline saying
‘BING IS MY FATHER’ and asked for opinions on it. KR makes a joke on it, but he would since he’s the insider. I’m running out of things to do now so I just go around the forums chatting until 11pm, which is when I decide to sign off.
Day 5
Wake up at 11:30am and play a little dead or alive 2. Then my sister leaves which means it’s time to sign in at 1:20. I go to the playstation and FOG chat forum to ask what GAD is and how you get it. In the playstation forum, Absolut neo as much as him and me have had disagreements, was very helpful and was very quick to tell me. Thank you Absolut Neo. However in the FOG chat, day walker refused to tell me many times. It’s not very busy at this moment so at 2pm I sign off and aim to come back in the evening. I sign back in at 4:25. I decide to visit the FOG chat forum and see if any has bothered to answer my GAD question. YES, but only twain and he only gave a small bit of information unlike Absolut Neo. But anyway thank you twain. Now it’s 4:30, time for my next question. ‘What are the top posters? Posted in both FOG chat and the playstation forums I wait for answers. Hercules, in the playstation forum only said ‘the people who have posted the most.’ That really helped. Hercules gave the same useless information as twain in the FOG forum so I still have no idea how to get to top posters. With twain Famed and Shamed, he has been cancelled out. Anyway at 5pm I sign in as Darkside XL so I leave my newbie file until tomorrow.
Day 6
Sign in at 5:30. Watch the Nike advert for the 50th time since I’ve downloaded it. I still think it’s great. I have a little chat in the playstation forum until 7pm, which is when I sign off. After my dinner, I have a bath and play a bit of football. Then at 9:50 I sign back in. I go to the playstation forum where everyone is having a go at someone called Grapo. Nothing much is going on so I go to the FOG chat and ask what spam is. Quinty replies by saying ‘what you have just written.’ Yes he’s right but I was only asking. Then Rainer Wolfcastle replies with’ he/she must be having a laugh! Some sort of irony in there I’m sure. Okay I was only asking a simple question. I then ask the same question in the playstation forum. It takes a long time to get a reply and I have to ask twice but in the end Hercules gave me an 8-line explanation, which taught me a lot about spam. Thank you Hercules. Since Hercules has been Famed and Shamed he has cancelled himself off the list. Afrojoe also told me what spam was a couple of minutes later but only a brief explanation compared to Hercules speech. It is now 10:20. I have 10 minutes to go before I log off so I head towards the sport forum for a chat on football. The topic I made with Darkside XL seems to be doing well. (It was on predictions for promotion in the season 2002/2003) Everyone is agreeing with my predictions although I don’t really want that, I want someone to give different predictions. Anyway it is now 10:28 and I decide to sign off and come back tomorrow afternoon.
Day 7
I sign in late today at 2:40, after I have just had a massive multiplayer game on age of empires. I lost but then again it was my first ever go at a multiplayer game on AOE and I was playing a master. I first travel to the playstation forum and join in conversation in the longest thread. Nothing is happening in the FOG chat forum so I stay here for a while. It is 3pm and I am running short of questions to ask the regulars that newbies don’t know the answers to. (God help me how I’m going to get through the 21 days) Then I thought of a great task. To find out whom the longest serving user is. With my Darkside XL file, I thought it was Cooky but know with my Absolutely nutty file, I aim to officially find out who it is. I will post the same topic in the FOG chat and the playstation forum and release my findings tomorrow. After posting these topics I sign off. However I sign back on at 10.30pm when all the mature users should sign in. I go back into the playstation forum and see that an argument between Mr Chainsaw (formally known as Grapo) and the others leads to a threatening of banning. This gives me an idea. I ask both the FOG chat and the playstation forums how you get banned. Again the results of this will be tomorrow as I am now finding it hard to think of questions to ask regulars every day. Everything is getting quiet so I decide to sign off at 11.30pm.
Week 1 analysis
I have had a good week with no problems and all my questions answered politely and with good information apart from the odd one or two. If I was a real newbie to this website, I would definitely come back for the next week and see what happens then. The most helpful member this week was a joint win by Toroto and Hercules who both helped me in lightning speed. The most annoying member this week was Day walker and funnily enough has been banned since this was written. Here is the list in full.
Famed
Totoro (twice)
Monkey Man
Goatboy
NH
Protoss
KR
Edgy
Absolut Neo
Hercules
Shamed
CJH
Afrojoe
FinalFantasyFanatic
Day Walker
Day 8
It’s Wednesday and these are usually the hardest days for this as it is my day off college. It has also been a week since I signed up as absolutely nutty. Not the best of names so I plan to get this changed tomorrow with the help of the regulars. Anyway, here are the results of yesterday’s tests. First I asked how you get banned. Hercules answered this in a split second at the playstation forum so he will be famed. This is the second time he has been now. And in the FOG forum, Mystique made a joke but that doesn’t help me and Toroto told me with an example almost as fast as Hercules so he will be famed yet again. In the other test I asked who was the oldest member on SR. 15 replies were counted from both forums and it looks like the winner is Cooky. Now back to the diary. I don’t really do much today as I have been continuously been hassled by my mate to give him loads of modem games on Age of Empires. No wonder if he beats me every time. I had a little chat in sport but that was about it.
Day 9
My god, it has been 9 days already. No wonder the 102 days flown by on my Darkside XL file. Anyway, 6 modem games on Age of Empires and a long day at college, I sign in at 5:10. I have a little chat in the playstation forum while I think of the next big thing to do. At 5:30 I sign off to eat my dinner and will come back later. I sign back on later at 11pm when nothing is on T.V. I submit some cheats to try and win GAD. (I know it is a cheap way of winning it but it leads towards my topic.)
Then I submit a topic in SR customer services forum to ask how they pick the winners of those who submit cheats.
Hercules answered after 3 minutes so for the third time he is famed. But I really am actually looking for a reply by the SR team and see what they say. I don’t really expect an answer until tomorrow, as it is so late. It is 11:22 and it seems no one is online so therefore I decide to sign off until tomorrow.
Day 10
Christ, it has been 10 days now. Anyway the results of yesterday’s topic are in. Totoro was the only other who replied out of the regulars but unfortunately cannot be famed as Hercules was there first. Hybrid Valves answered my topic with a phrase I have heard many times. ‘ It is Quality not Quantity.’ Ok then, if this was the case then how have I seen GAD wins by regulars who have submitted over 190 cheats. Now you can’t say it’s Quality that counts then can you.
I would sign on at this moment but I have a lot of assignments to get in to my college by today so it’s work, work, and work.
I sign back on at 7:30. My assignments are in and I have the weekend to relax. There is a copularity pontest in the playstation forum so I go in at enter my opinions of the other members. I then read that Asher D has been accusing Hercules. I back up Hercules since he has already helped me out three times. No doubt though that Asher D will hold that against me in the future.
I go around chatting in the playstation forum and then at 8:30 I sign off to watch Allistar McGowan’s big impressions.
I sign back on at 10:48 and chat around for about an hour before I go to bed.
Day 11
It’s Saturday and today is the day I find out if Woking football club are safe. I sign in at 2:00pm and chat for a while in the playstation forum. Then I decide to ask the FOG Prime topic forum and the playstation forum what POP means.
In the playstation forum everyone is ignoring me and even Hercules is ignoring me this time. I ask again and this time Quinty replies with ‘it means they there respective thread has been ended.’ To be honest I don’t know if this is right but he gave me an answer so Quinty has been famed. It has been an hour and still no reply in the FOG prime forum so I abandon that idea.
I chat around the forums and MSN for a couple of hours while listening to the football. Woking drew and we are safe to play conference football next season. About an hour after the football finishes, I sign off at around 5:45pm.
I signed back in at 10pm and chat in the playstation forum. 10 minutes I go to FOG chat and I see that twain is taking the mick out of Absolutely Nutty. For this he has been shamed. I spend the rest of my time in the crap joke topic where (the topic says it all) crap jokes are being made. Then at about 10:48pm I sign off for the day.
Day 12
I decide to sign in at 2:45pm today. There is rumour of KR spamming so I decide to defend him in the playstation forum.
Then I moved to the FOG chat forum where members are complaining about may, and how exams are clashing with big upcoming things. Remember yesterday when I asked what POP means to the regulars. Well it seems El Liquido has been stealing this idea and posting it as his own. For this he is definitely being shamed. This incident has made me quite angry so I post my new found hatred all over the longest thread in the playstation forum. After I have done this, I sign up for RM18’s upcoming spoof. I then change to my Darkside XL file at 3:30pm. I decide to sign back in at 9:00pm but only for 30 minutes.
I found out something interesting in the FOG chat forum. Hybrid Valves managed to turn his writing red. However this is all that happened before I signed off for the day.
Day 13
I decide for an early morning and sign in at 7:45am. I chat around the playstation forum and the sport forum but nothing is happening this morning. It is probably because of the time. Since nothing is going on, I make for a quick exit at around 8:20am.
Remember when I asked how to win GAD a couple of days ago. Well I look at gameaday.com today and guess what?
I didn’t win but that won’t put me off and today I will try again. I sign back in at 3:45pm after an easy day at college and check my stats. 194 posts and 4687 words. 100 posts to go, 5000 odd posts to go and 9 days to go until I am a regular. The only way possible to make regular stats in time is to spam and to spam is stupid so regulars Ville looks so far away. Unless I make a good long post which will be a good attempt for a GAD and bring my word count up without spamming. So that’s what I did.
It is all about the upcoming month and what it holds for us. I post another topic in the SR customer services forum. It asks if you can transfer stats to another file. You’ll see what I mean if you read the topic. I post a topic about this diary but disguise it as a story. I get 15 replies in 10 minutes asking what it’s about. They’ll find out soon that’s for sure. I sign off at 5pm for a game of Age of empires and then dinner. I later sign back on at 9:55 but only for a couple of minutes because I have phone calls to make regarding my very own Personal Computer in my room. While I’m here, I have a conversation with KR on MSN about what I should do next. Also I see that Big Slow is spamming again like usual. My topic in SR customer services hasn’t even been looked at and 2 people have only replied to my other topic in the Playstation forum and they were newbies.
After looking at all this I sign back off at 10pm.
Day 14
2 weeks now I have been at SR with my absolutely nutty file. The first week passed like nothing but this week has dragged on a bit. Plus this diary must have dragged on a bit since it has been just below three thousand five hundred words according to word count. (3,472 to be exact) I sign in at 9:30 to enter a load of cheats before I come on chat at 9:50.
I seems still no one has answered my question in the SR customer services forum so that’s officially dead before it even got answered. I look at my stats and I now have 6696 words posted instead of yesterday’s 4687. But my post count is only up by 17. Today I have entered a Time Crisis 2 walkthrough, which I hope will win. Soon we will find out. After I submit the walkthrough I sign off at 10:15am. I sign back in just over 12 hours later at 10:45pm. Recently I have had doubts about my username and tagline; therefore I go to the Playstation forum and ask for opinions. I get a suggestion like Jebus and in the end I change it to The Kebab Man. After this, I ask around about this notable stuff in the FOG chat forum. I get told it is a vote for a regular to become a notable. (High and mighty) So I ask who votes and when it takes place. Hercules wouldn’t tell me and replied ‘ Never mind, you don’t need to know just yet.’ So I still have no idea. With this I sign off at 11:30pm.
Week 2 analysis
This week has been quite boring and has passed very slowly. Maybe it is due to the fact that I don’t know what to ask anymore or that no one has done any exciting posts. If it weren’t for the fact that in one week I would turn regular, then I wouldn’t have stayed here from day 9. This week’s best poster for me would again be Hercules. If I ask something, he’ll answer it straight away regardless of the time. Although this could be due to the fact he is on here 18 hours a day. My worst poster would definitely have to be El Liquido. He copies my ideas, classes them as his own and denies everything when I have posted a link to the proof. He is stupid as well as a cheat then. With 1 week to go, I hope this week will go fast and can’t wait when this is posted for everyone to read.
Famed
Hercules
Quinty
Shamed
Twain
El Liquido
Day 15
The countdown has started with 7 days to go. As usual Wednesdays are the longest days for me with it being my day off college. I hope to sleep throughout the day but endless phone calls wake me from my slumber. ‘Want a game of Age of Empires so I can kick your a55 again’ it says. I can’t refuse so ahead I go and lose again. Then I start to feel a queasy feeling in my stomach. I go lay down and find myself waking up at 4:45pm. So this is when I signed on. I go to the playstation forum and yet again someone is doing a story. He is complaining how 2 and a half pages is too long for him. This is currently 8 pages long and I’m going for 10 so excuse me if he’s having a hard time writing. Then Cipro comes out with ‘it’s quality not quantity.’
Lately I have had enough of this saying, as I know what it means so why do I have to hear it off every regular every day.
Is it because I’m a newbie and they think I need this telling everyday? Well I don’t. For this Cipro has been shamed.
With only 1 week left, I need a topic that would unsettle the forums before I reveal myself. So at 5:15pm, I admit that I am actually a regular disguising myself as a newbie. I sign out as the newbie and sign in as Mandatare at 5:20pm. I check out the topic I had just posted 30 minutes ago. No body cares. THANK CHRIST as it is much easier on me when I reveal who I really am on Wednesday. After this I switch off for the night.
Day 16
The first thing I do when is sign in at 10:00am is to give a clue about who I am. Then I go to the longest thread. No one seems to be there except Mandatare, SSX pro and small frog. I chat around but nothing is happening now so I aim to come back later. Before this though, I check out everyone’s reaction to the clue. Everyone is guessing but they’re guessing wrong. Answers that came in were Dringo, Dan2k2 and Dangsta hamster. I sign back in 12 hours later at 10:00pm. Unknown to me, KR has admitted he is the insider. This isn’t at all helpful to my plans and also unknown to me, KR has told Mandatare about this project as well so now Mandatare wants to buy this project off of me. Oh well, a fiver isn’t bad but if it wins GAD I’ll hit myself. I then decide to sign back off at 10:30pm
Day 17
After a very long day of tests and more tests I find myself asleep at 6:30pm. I get woken up at 9pm to go to work. I finish work and then sign on at 10:45pm. I expect it to be quiet because of the gamecube so now I’ll find out. And I am right.
No one is in the playstation forum except Hercules and Tom. In the FOG chat there is a funny incident-involving Ant the notable becoming a regular after his username doesn’t work. HA. Officially now it is into day 18 but I continue chatting for another 30 minutes to Tom and big slow. Big slow keeps spamming and I have had complaints about him on MSN so I decide to have a go at him for it. Then he tried to accuse me of spamming which definitely isn’t true because that is the point of this diary. For that Big slow has been shamed. We seem to continue this argument for a very long time until I decide it’s time to leave. I would continue to chat but a stomachache has suddenly hit me so I sign off at 00:30.
Day 18
After a long sleep I decide to log on ½ way through the cup final. 4:00pm to those who don’t like football.
I head straight to the Playstation forum where KR is actually on for once. Since everyone now knows KR is in on this, I wait to see what everyone will say to us. As soon as I bring up the subject KR goes missing. It seems he hates being involved. He comes back in 30 minutes but disappears again when I say hello to him. I sign off at 7:00pm to go out but sign back on at 10:55. This time KR decides not to run. Everyone still finds this game stupid but then again so do I. I then tell everyone that there is now another insider. This is Mandatare of course and he came round my house today and seen the extend of what I was doing and now he definitely wants to buy it from me. I sign into my Darkside XL file for now but will sign back in later at midnight.
Day 19
It is midnight and I sign back on with the kebab man. Now I announce who I am and that Mandatare was also in on it. Only Hercules seems to respond to this but after all, it is very early in the morning. No one seems to be here so I anxiously await KR to return. He does return at 00:45am. I don’t see much point in hanging around so sign off at 01:00am. I get taken out for the day on Sunday and after we return I can’t seem to find the modem line. It seems my mother has hidden it due to the late night I have had today/yesterday. I desperately try to find it but am condemned to playing my n64 ROMs.
Day 20
I was about to sign on when I received an important phone call. A relative has died so I find myself on a long drive down towards Woking to pay respects. Therefore today I haven’t signed on at all.
Day 21
It is the final day and I finally sign in at 8:25 after my Aol wouldn’t connect to the Internet for 20 minutes. I see big slow is spamming again with the help of a newbie called Timmy. Then I have a chat with KR whether to post this topic in the FOG chat, playstation forum, or both. He says both. I have a bath at 9pm and come back 15 minutes later to find Tom Wilson playing lovey duvey with my sister. (Hands off KR) I finish this post, which includes the basic proofreading and spellchecker.
I now await the accusations or bad replies that await Mandatare and me as I get him to post this topic at 9:35pm.
Famed
No one
Shamed
Cipro
Big slow
Analysis of whole experience
First I found out that KR could keep secrets. Also I learned that most regulars do help when asked but there are still the odd few regulars that shun you. The best regular I had spoken to during this experience was Hercules. He was definitely the most helpful and friendly user. I can’t really pick out the worst user to me, as there were so many. The first week was good as I had a lot of questions to ask. The second week got a bit boring as I struggled to think of things to chat about. The third week was nothing really because it was the week I told everyone about this. The whole experience was good but I wouldn’t want to do it again.
SUPREME FAMED REGULAR
Hercules
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Fantastic post Mandatare, GAD worthy. In my earlier days as a newbie, all forum members I talked to were very helpful. I also got great responses to my posts - I took all replies on board so that I could improve on the posts in the future.
And
mandatare wrote:
(hands off KR)
one word
meh.
mandatare wrote:
(hands off KR)
one word
meh.
Well what can I say?
That was absolutely amazing. I wouldve replied earlier but ive only just got on the PC.
Its the best thing ive seen since coming on these boards and its not just because im the supreme dude. Even if you said that I was the overall shamed person id be saying this, it was amazing.
The whole idea and weeks of thought put into it to make something so good and fun is just brilliant. Its the most original idea ive seen and is just brilliant.
Excellent.
:)
Thanks for that, it was a good read too and I enjoyed it.
That was absolutely amazing. I wouldve replied earlier but ive only just got on the PC.
Its the best thing ive seen since coming on these boards and its not just because im the supreme dude. Even if you said that I was the overall shamed person id be saying this, it was amazing.
The whole idea and weeks of thought put into it to make something so good and fun is just brilliant. Its the most original idea ive seen and is just brilliant.
Excellent.
:)
Thanks for that, it was a good read too and I enjoyed it.
doublezero wrote:
> I think that most people don't care if you're a Newbie/regular, they
> just care about what you write.
Very well said and you are 100 % Correct.
> I think that most people don't care if you're a Newbie/regular, they
> just care about what you write.
Very well said and you are 100 % Correct.
A good post.
However, i've been a Newbie since joining 20 or so days ago (obviously) and i cant say that i've experienced any hostility from regulars whatsoever. I find that if i write a good post then people reply and share their opinions. Likewise, if i write a post which i feel in hindsight wasn't as good, I find that fewer people reply.
I think that most people don't care if you're a Newbie/regular, they just care about what you write.
However, i've been a Newbie since joining 20 or so days ago (obviously) and i cant say that i've experienced any hostility from regulars whatsoever. I find that if i write a good post then people reply and share their opinions. Likewise, if i write a post which i feel in hindsight wasn't as good, I find that fewer people reply.
I think that most people don't care if you're a Newbie/regular, they just care about what you write.
a good post
A good read, though I see you neglected to include our little disagreement (I'm gonna be shamed for that, aren't I). I wonder why? Anyway, I've forgotten about that now :) That aside, it was quite a good insight into the experience of the forums. This could develop into a very popular thread if you keep it going Mandatare...good work.
:)
:)
Excellent post, well done. One day "the click" may see past this tag of newbie and realise that most "n00bs" have been on the gaming scene a hell of a lot longer than they have and may have earned their respect in the 80's during a thing called life. When do people start to earn the hallowed repect on this forum anyway??? When they have half a million word count and nigh on 20,000 posts? Get real. Like people give a toss. Anyway I wish I could say this has been a good forum, but I can't. I'm offski, "my loss??"
NOPE
NOPE
Mandatare wrote:
Victimisation being a key word here. I
> would know, once being a newbie myself and being picked on by the
> likes of Badgerman.
---
Must of caught me on a bad day, hense the tagline, Touche though.
A link of this evidence would be nice please
But my defence is that n00bs don't gain respect immediately, you have to earn it, sure you'll get flamed for not using common sense. You have to earn respect.
I rest my case
:P
Victimisation being a key word here. I
> would know, once being a newbie myself and being picked on by the
> likes of Badgerman.
---
Must of caught me on a bad day, hense the tagline, Touche though.
A link of this evidence would be nice please
But my defence is that n00bs don't gain respect immediately, you have to earn it, sure you'll get flamed for not using common sense. You have to earn respect.
I rest my case
:P
snore
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