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My legs really, really hurt.
I ran 4.6 miles yesterday, dressed as a pirate. Not because I wanted to, really - it's this village thing that happens on May Day every year. You pay £2 (hell knows why - paying to run?), and then wait around for ages while they organize things. The 'May Queen' (the prettiest girl in Year 6 at the village school) gets the microphone, and tells you to go. You, and about 99 others, all run around a circuit that stretches around the village, for no apparent reason.
It's called a 'Fun Run', you see. A half-truth, if you ask me.
Quite a lot of people dress up for it. Some take their dogs on a walk, instead of running. You always have some guys that have been training for it all year, who run marathons, and they start at the back while the morons sprint the first hundred meters. The funniest bit, every year, is when you see a group of little kids knackered after the first corner, walking.
Everyone walks at some point. Most people have a bit of a run, then a walk, then start running again, then walk again, all of the way around. That’s what I did - I just challenged myself to beat a girl in my year that has about the same level of fitness as I do (which is 'couple of joints every week and no exercise, ever' fit). Every time she drew level with me, I started running again.
So - it's just a bit of a laugh, really. One of my mates lives in a house in the running path, so I arranged for him to give me a beer when I went past - to cool me down, you see ;). He decided to shake it up loads before I reached him, meaning that the can just about exploded when I opened it. Which was funny, but left me soaked and reeking of booze for the remainder of the course.
The only bad thing about this run is the people who aren't running, riding along on bikes around the course. Not only do they get in the way, they are morons that tell you to 'keep going'. Well duh, I wasn't exactly going to stop, stand still, and jump in the air, was I? They're your typical nu-metal Eastenders The Sun What the hell is a book I like to vandalize because it makes me look hard kind of kids.
If they want to come with us on the run, they should bloody well run, not knock you over on their bikes.
One of them came dangerously close to me, so I grabbed the penknife I keep in my pocket, swished the blade out, and rammed it between his shoulderblades. He stopped pedaling because of the pain, hit his brakes, and flew over the handlebars onto his head. The sound was quite funny - CRACK. Skull on concrete. I laughed.
One of the other bike kids raced down to help his friend. He must have been a couple of years younger than me. He knocked him off his bike, then kicked him in the face. Sounded like he broke his nose. I then laid into him with kicks. He died a couple of hours later.
Just a bit of fun, really.
I ran 4.6 miles yesterday, dressed as a pirate. Not because I wanted to, really - it's this village thing that happens on May Day every year. You pay £2 (hell knows why - paying to run?), and then wait around for ages while they organize things. The 'May Queen' (the prettiest girl in Year 6 at the village school) gets the microphone, and tells you to go. You, and about 99 others, all run around a circuit that stretches around the village, for no apparent reason.
It's called a 'Fun Run', you see. A half-truth, if you ask me.
Quite a lot of people dress up for it. Some take their dogs on a walk, instead of running. You always have some guys that have been training for it all year, who run marathons, and they start at the back while the morons sprint the first hundred meters. The funniest bit, every year, is when you see a group of little kids knackered after the first corner, walking.
Everyone walks at some point. Most people have a bit of a run, then a walk, then start running again, then walk again, all of the way around. That’s what I did - I just challenged myself to beat a girl in my year that has about the same level of fitness as I do (which is 'couple of joints every week and no exercise, ever' fit). Every time she drew level with me, I started running again.
So - it's just a bit of a laugh, really. One of my mates lives in a house in the running path, so I arranged for him to give me a beer when I went past - to cool me down, you see ;). He decided to shake it up loads before I reached him, meaning that the can just about exploded when I opened it. Which was funny, but left me soaked and reeking of booze for the remainder of the course.
The only bad thing about this run is the people who aren't running, riding along on bikes around the course. Not only do they get in the way, they are morons that tell you to 'keep going'. Well duh, I wasn't exactly going to stop, stand still, and jump in the air, was I? They're your typical nu-metal Eastenders The Sun What the hell is a book I like to vandalize because it makes me look hard kind of kids.
If they want to come with us on the run, they should bloody well run, not knock you over on their bikes.
One of them came dangerously close to me, so I grabbed the penknife I keep in my pocket, swished the blade out, and rammed it between his shoulderblades. He stopped pedaling because of the pain, hit his brakes, and flew over the handlebars onto his head. The sound was quite funny - CRACK. Skull on concrete. I laughed.
One of the other bike kids raced down to help his friend. He must have been a couple of years younger than me. He knocked him off his bike, then kicked him in the face. Sounded like he broke his nose. I then laid into him with kicks. He died a couple of hours later.
Just a bit of fun, really.
This whole thread has made me laugh. A hell of a lot.
The bit where MC is assessing the Year 6 girl scared me, personally.
The end scared me
'Fun run' is a contradiction in terms.
Prettiest girl in Year 6 eh?
Hubba Hubba?
Hubba Hubba?
My legs really, really hurt.
I ran 4.6 miles yesterday, dressed as a pirate. Not because I wanted to, really - it's this village thing that happens on May Day every year. You pay £2 (hell knows why - paying to run?), and then wait around for ages while they organize things. The 'May Queen' (the prettiest girl in Year 6 at the village school) gets the microphone, and tells you to go. You, and about 99 others, all run around a circuit that stretches around the village, for no apparent reason.
It's called a 'Fun Run', you see. A half-truth, if you ask me.
Quite a lot of people dress up for it. Some take their dogs on a walk, instead of running. You always have some guys that have been training for it all year, who run marathons, and they start at the back while the morons sprint the first hundred meters. The funniest bit, every year, is when you see a group of little kids knackered after the first corner, walking.
Everyone walks at some point. Most people have a bit of a run, then a walk, then start running again, then walk again, all of the way around. That’s what I did - I just challenged myself to beat a girl in my year that has about the same level of fitness as I do (which is 'couple of joints every week and no exercise, ever' fit). Every time she drew level with me, I started running again.
So - it's just a bit of a laugh, really. One of my mates lives in a house in the running path, so I arranged for him to give me a beer when I went past - to cool me down, you see ;). He decided to shake it up loads before I reached him, meaning that the can just about exploded when I opened it. Which was funny, but left me soaked and reeking of booze for the remainder of the course.
The only bad thing about this run is the people who aren't running, riding along on bikes around the course. Not only do they get in the way, they are morons that tell you to 'keep going'. Well duh, I wasn't exactly going to stop, stand still, and jump in the air, was I? They're your typical nu-metal Eastenders The Sun What the hell is a book I like to vandalize because it makes me look hard kind of kids.
If they want to come with us on the run, they should bloody well run, not knock you over on their bikes.
One of them came dangerously close to me, so I grabbed the penknife I keep in my pocket, swished the blade out, and rammed it between his shoulderblades. He stopped pedaling because of the pain, hit his brakes, and flew over the handlebars onto his head. The sound was quite funny - CRACK. Skull on concrete. I laughed.
One of the other bike kids raced down to help his friend. He must have been a couple of years younger than me. He knocked him off his bike, then kicked him in the face. Sounded like he broke his nose. I then laid into him with kicks. He died a couple of hours later.
Just a bit of fun, really.
I ran 4.6 miles yesterday, dressed as a pirate. Not because I wanted to, really - it's this village thing that happens on May Day every year. You pay £2 (hell knows why - paying to run?), and then wait around for ages while they organize things. The 'May Queen' (the prettiest girl in Year 6 at the village school) gets the microphone, and tells you to go. You, and about 99 others, all run around a circuit that stretches around the village, for no apparent reason.
It's called a 'Fun Run', you see. A half-truth, if you ask me.
Quite a lot of people dress up for it. Some take their dogs on a walk, instead of running. You always have some guys that have been training for it all year, who run marathons, and they start at the back while the morons sprint the first hundred meters. The funniest bit, every year, is when you see a group of little kids knackered after the first corner, walking.
Everyone walks at some point. Most people have a bit of a run, then a walk, then start running again, then walk again, all of the way around. That’s what I did - I just challenged myself to beat a girl in my year that has about the same level of fitness as I do (which is 'couple of joints every week and no exercise, ever' fit). Every time she drew level with me, I started running again.
So - it's just a bit of a laugh, really. One of my mates lives in a house in the running path, so I arranged for him to give me a beer when I went past - to cool me down, you see ;). He decided to shake it up loads before I reached him, meaning that the can just about exploded when I opened it. Which was funny, but left me soaked and reeking of booze for the remainder of the course.
The only bad thing about this run is the people who aren't running, riding along on bikes around the course. Not only do they get in the way, they are morons that tell you to 'keep going'. Well duh, I wasn't exactly going to stop, stand still, and jump in the air, was I? They're your typical nu-metal Eastenders The Sun What the hell is a book I like to vandalize because it makes me look hard kind of kids.
If they want to come with us on the run, they should bloody well run, not knock you over on their bikes.
One of them came dangerously close to me, so I grabbed the penknife I keep in my pocket, swished the blade out, and rammed it between his shoulderblades. He stopped pedaling because of the pain, hit his brakes, and flew over the handlebars onto his head. The sound was quite funny - CRACK. Skull on concrete. I laughed.
One of the other bike kids raced down to help his friend. He must have been a couple of years younger than me. He knocked him off his bike, then kicked him in the face. Sounded like he broke his nose. I then laid into him with kicks. He died a couple of hours later.
Just a bit of fun, really.