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"This is Chief Inspector David Evans, at 12:45 on Wednesday 24th April 2002. I have a man here, who wishes to be known as 'Henry' and he says he'd like to make a confession. He agreed to it being taped. Henry, over to you."
"Thanks, I can live with this no longer, I just had to get it off my chest. I've done some bad, bad things man, some really bad things. Go, I don't even know where to start!"
"Just start from the beginning Henry, let me know how it all started."
"Okay man. It was at the end of last summer. I lived a pretty normal life. I had a job as a door-to-door salesman, selling cleaning products. Anyway, this one day it was real hot, I mean scorching. My car was like an oven, I never know why I had that grill installed in there, and there were these bugs, really bugging me. I was covered in midgets, by that I mean the little insects, not small people, so I sprayed some insect repellant all over myself. This stuff stunk, and when I tried to call on customers, they wouldn't let me into their houses. Worse still, bees started to follow me. I got nervous, real nervous, and started to try to swat at them, but they were always too quick for me. I was gettign real wound up, with the temperature at boiling point, so when I went to the next house, and he answered, I couldn't stop myself."
"Henry, who do you mean by he?"
"Sorry, let me explain. I knocked on the door, still swatting at the bees, when who should answer, but that bee from the Honey Loops boxes. I stand there shocked for a minute, I mean it's not every day you see a giant bee, and especially not a famous one."
"You can say that again."
"It's not every day you see...."
"Sorry, figure of speech, just continue with the story."
"Anyway he invites me in, so I go it, gobsmacked. At least the little bees don't follow me in, I figure. Only this bee starts to sniff at me, then, my God, he tried to feel me up. I wasn't having any of that, so I swung my bag at him. My bag was full of cleaning products, aerosol cans and stuff, so it was rather heavy, but the bee didn't even flinch, it just started to buzz at me. So I grabs something from my bag, and it's a tin of air freshener. I took my lighter from my pocket, sprayed the air freshener, and using the lighter, I was able to cause a ball of flame. I was surprised by the success of this, and the bee was engulfed in flam. He tried to fly away, but one of his wings was too damamged by the fire, and he just crashed into the wall.
I ran at this point, straight out of the door, and into my car. I grabbed my mobile and went to dial, but sometihng stopped me, I don't know what, so I just sat there, and watched the house burn. The fire brigade did show up, but they couldn't save the bee, but I was glad of that, I'd never liked Honey Loops not since they dropped the 'Nut'."
"That's terrible..."
"Yeah, thye lost their taste altogether."
"No, I mena what happened to that bee. But it was an accident, you should have come straigh to the police. This fire happened months ago."
"I haven't finished yet. Did I mention that I lived near a farm?"
"No, you didn't."
"Yeah, well I did. It wasn't a big farm, a few chickens, sheep, cows, and some crops. Anyway, every morning this cockeral would wake me up, and I was begnning to get sick of it. I wasn't sleeping well after the Honey Nuts bee thing, and this cockeral really wasn't helping. I decided to head over to the farm to sort it out. I got there, but no one was around. I cold hear the cockeral though, and my blood started to boil. I looked around for him, behind the tractor was where I saw him, and his strange green plummage. Yep, it was the Corn Flakes cockeral. So I grebbed it, and wrung it's neck. It didn't help me sleep though, guilt was keeping awake.
I kept thinking back to what I had done, and the feelings it had created. I couldn't deny it, I actually enjoyed wringing that bird's neck, and I needed more.
I set off for the local supermarket, and decided to hang around the breakfast aisle. It wasn't long before I heard him, singing "I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops, oh yeah" Coco the monkey was in my sights. I follwed him discreetly around the rest of the store, stopping for a while to pick the best banana's and once he'd checked out his goods, I headed back to my car, keeping an eye on where he was heading. I saw him going over to the pedestrian crossing, so I put my foot down. I sped around the corner, and managed to reach a speed of over 50 mph when I hit him. He flew up into the air, and crashed into my windscreen, cracking it. As I continued to speed dowm the road, the monkey stayed on my bonnet, so I slammed on the brakes. The momentum carried Coco forward, and he flew off, then rolled lifelessly down the road. I put the car back into first gear, and continued down the road, smiling at the satisfying crunch noise made when I bumped over him.
It was like being in a different world. No longer would I be happy selling cleaning products to bored housewives, no I had found my higher calling.
It was only a week later that I struck again. Walking down the road one day I spotted a familiar face in a kitchen window. It was Pop, I was sure of it. A couple of hours observation confirmed this, and also that Snap and Crackle were also residing in this house. For how long I didn't know, I had to act fast. I rushed home, and begun working on something in my garage. The next morning I got up real early, and headed back to the house. I waited for the milkman to come deliver their milk, then I went to their doorstep, and switched one of the bottles with something of my own creating.
I waited in a tree outside the house "Snap, Crackle, Pop, meet your new friend, Bang" I laughed as one of the three must have taken the top from the 'milk' leading to a nasty chemical reaction between the air and my chemical mixture. The house was completely blown away. I'd done it again, but still I needed more.
I heaed straight down to the hairdressers, and sure as Hell, Honey Monster was there having a trim. I watched as the barber gave him exactly what he wanted, then when he had finished I followed him out, grabbing a pair of clippers as I went. He headed into an alley, no doubt to avoid his numerous fans. Once he was away from the view of the High Street, I attacked him with the clippers. What I didn't know before that time was that Honey Monster was made entirely of hair, and the clippers went right through him, severing him in two. He cried in pain, but I kept going, trim, trim, trim, until all that was left was a pile of hair on the floor, and two big eyes. I started to laugh, never before had I felt so good, but like a drug, the high didn't last for long, and I found myself craving another killing. I headed down to the TV studio, having discovered that Tony the Tiger was to shoot a new Frosties commercial there. In the car park I spotted a strange rocket. Inside I could definitely see Ricicle Rik. I grabbed a lead pipe, forced my way in, and beat him to death.
I headed into the studio, and found many many doors. Most rooms were empty, until I came across the dressing rooms. I entered one to see that variety pack octopus in a tank, practising his lines "When I choose, I can't lose" he said. I snuck up behind him, and grabbed a couple of his tenticles, tying them in a knot, I grabbed others and tied those too, before picking him from his tank and throwing him into a cupboard, and bolting the door. He wouldn't survive for long outside of his tank.
But still, Tony had eluded me, and that I didn't like. I found another door, marked 'recording studio' and headed in. "He trying to steal the secret formula" said someone. I was sure it was the voice of Tony, and thought he must be filming his advert. Only I was wrong, he came crashing down on top of me, and forced me to the ground. He put a bowl of Frosties in front of me, telling me "They're Great!". I tried them, and he was right. Suddenly everything became clear again, I had seen the error of my ways. It was Tony that encouraged me to come to you today, Inspector."
"I see. Well if you excuse me, I have a phone call to make. Interview terminated 13:32"
*CLICK*
"Thanks, I can live with this no longer, I just had to get it off my chest. I've done some bad, bad things man, some really bad things. Go, I don't even know where to start!"
"Just start from the beginning Henry, let me know how it all started."
"Okay man. It was at the end of last summer. I lived a pretty normal life. I had a job as a door-to-door salesman, selling cleaning products. Anyway, this one day it was real hot, I mean scorching. My car was like an oven, I never know why I had that grill installed in there, and there were these bugs, really bugging me. I was covered in midgets, by that I mean the little insects, not small people, so I sprayed some insect repellant all over myself. This stuff stunk, and when I tried to call on customers, they wouldn't let me into their houses. Worse still, bees started to follow me. I got nervous, real nervous, and started to try to swat at them, but they were always too quick for me. I was gettign real wound up, with the temperature at boiling point, so when I went to the next house, and he answered, I couldn't stop myself."
"Henry, who do you mean by he?"
"Sorry, let me explain. I knocked on the door, still swatting at the bees, when who should answer, but that bee from the Honey Loops boxes. I stand there shocked for a minute, I mean it's not every day you see a giant bee, and especially not a famous one."
"You can say that again."
"It's not every day you see...."
"Sorry, figure of speech, just continue with the story."
"Anyway he invites me in, so I go it, gobsmacked. At least the little bees don't follow me in, I figure. Only this bee starts to sniff at me, then, my God, he tried to feel me up. I wasn't having any of that, so I swung my bag at him. My bag was full of cleaning products, aerosol cans and stuff, so it was rather heavy, but the bee didn't even flinch, it just started to buzz at me. So I grabs something from my bag, and it's a tin of air freshener. I took my lighter from my pocket, sprayed the air freshener, and using the lighter, I was able to cause a ball of flame. I was surprised by the success of this, and the bee was engulfed in flam. He tried to fly away, but one of his wings was too damamged by the fire, and he just crashed into the wall.
I ran at this point, straight out of the door, and into my car. I grabbed my mobile and went to dial, but sometihng stopped me, I don't know what, so I just sat there, and watched the house burn. The fire brigade did show up, but they couldn't save the bee, but I was glad of that, I'd never liked Honey Loops not since they dropped the 'Nut'."
"That's terrible..."
"Yeah, thye lost their taste altogether."
"No, I mena what happened to that bee. But it was an accident, you should have come straigh to the police. This fire happened months ago."
"I haven't finished yet. Did I mention that I lived near a farm?"
"No, you didn't."
"Yeah, well I did. It wasn't a big farm, a few chickens, sheep, cows, and some crops. Anyway, every morning this cockeral would wake me up, and I was begnning to get sick of it. I wasn't sleeping well after the Honey Nuts bee thing, and this cockeral really wasn't helping. I decided to head over to the farm to sort it out. I got there, but no one was around. I cold hear the cockeral though, and my blood started to boil. I looked around for him, behind the tractor was where I saw him, and his strange green plummage. Yep, it was the Corn Flakes cockeral. So I grebbed it, and wrung it's neck. It didn't help me sleep though, guilt was keeping awake.
I kept thinking back to what I had done, and the feelings it had created. I couldn't deny it, I actually enjoyed wringing that bird's neck, and I needed more.
I set off for the local supermarket, and decided to hang around the breakfast aisle. It wasn't long before I heard him, singing "I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops, oh yeah" Coco the monkey was in my sights. I follwed him discreetly around the rest of the store, stopping for a while to pick the best banana's and once he'd checked out his goods, I headed back to my car, keeping an eye on where he was heading. I saw him going over to the pedestrian crossing, so I put my foot down. I sped around the corner, and managed to reach a speed of over 50 mph when I hit him. He flew up into the air, and crashed into my windscreen, cracking it. As I continued to speed dowm the road, the monkey stayed on my bonnet, so I slammed on the brakes. The momentum carried Coco forward, and he flew off, then rolled lifelessly down the road. I put the car back into first gear, and continued down the road, smiling at the satisfying crunch noise made when I bumped over him.
It was like being in a different world. No longer would I be happy selling cleaning products to bored housewives, no I had found my higher calling.
It was only a week later that I struck again. Walking down the road one day I spotted a familiar face in a kitchen window. It was Pop, I was sure of it. A couple of hours observation confirmed this, and also that Snap and Crackle were also residing in this house. For how long I didn't know, I had to act fast. I rushed home, and begun working on something in my garage. The next morning I got up real early, and headed back to the house. I waited for the milkman to come deliver their milk, then I went to their doorstep, and switched one of the bottles with something of my own creating.
I waited in a tree outside the house "Snap, Crackle, Pop, meet your new friend, Bang" I laughed as one of the three must have taken the top from the 'milk' leading to a nasty chemical reaction between the air and my chemical mixture. The house was completely blown away. I'd done it again, but still I needed more.
I heaed straight down to the hairdressers, and sure as Hell, Honey Monster was there having a trim. I watched as the barber gave him exactly what he wanted, then when he had finished I followed him out, grabbing a pair of clippers as I went. He headed into an alley, no doubt to avoid his numerous fans. Once he was away from the view of the High Street, I attacked him with the clippers. What I didn't know before that time was that Honey Monster was made entirely of hair, and the clippers went right through him, severing him in two. He cried in pain, but I kept going, trim, trim, trim, until all that was left was a pile of hair on the floor, and two big eyes. I started to laugh, never before had I felt so good, but like a drug, the high didn't last for long, and I found myself craving another killing. I headed down to the TV studio, having discovered that Tony the Tiger was to shoot a new Frosties commercial there. In the car park I spotted a strange rocket. Inside I could definitely see Ricicle Rik. I grabbed a lead pipe, forced my way in, and beat him to death.
I headed into the studio, and found many many doors. Most rooms were empty, until I came across the dressing rooms. I entered one to see that variety pack octopus in a tank, practising his lines "When I choose, I can't lose" he said. I snuck up behind him, and grabbed a couple of his tenticles, tying them in a knot, I grabbed others and tied those too, before picking him from his tank and throwing him into a cupboard, and bolting the door. He wouldn't survive for long outside of his tank.
But still, Tony had eluded me, and that I didn't like. I found another door, marked 'recording studio' and headed in. "He trying to steal the secret formula" said someone. I was sure it was the voice of Tony, and thought he must be filming his advert. Only I was wrong, he came crashing down on top of me, and forced me to the ground. He put a bowl of Frosties in front of me, telling me "They're Great!". I tried them, and he was right. Suddenly everything became clear again, I had seen the error of my ways. It was Tony that encouraged me to come to you today, Inspector."
"I see. Well if you excuse me, I have a phone call to make. Interview terminated 13:32"
*CLICK*
Heh, very good Meka, cereal killer indeed.
For what it's worth Henry, I don't like Coco the monkey either, ever since they changed the name to Coco Krispies (or whatever)
Can't you get him to kill that Octapus, you know the one, Variety comes in packs of eight..blah blah blah
OH!
For what it's worth Henry, I don't like Coco the monkey either, ever since they changed the name to Coco Krispies (or whatever)
Can't you get him to kill that Octapus, you know the one, Variety comes in packs of eight..blah blah blah
OH!
"This is Chief Inspector David Evans, at 12:45 on Wednesday 24th April 2002. I have a man here, who wishes to be known as 'Henry' and he says he'd like to make a confession. He agreed to it being taped. Henry, over to you."
"Thanks, I can live with this no longer, I just had to get it off my chest. I've done some bad, bad things man, some really bad things. Go, I don't even know where to start!"
"Just start from the beginning Henry, let me know how it all started."
"Okay man. It was at the end of last summer. I lived a pretty normal life. I had a job as a door-to-door salesman, selling cleaning products. Anyway, this one day it was real hot, I mean scorching. My car was like an oven, I never know why I had that grill installed in there, and there were these bugs, really bugging me. I was covered in midgets, by that I mean the little insects, not small people, so I sprayed some insect repellant all over myself. This stuff stunk, and when I tried to call on customers, they wouldn't let me into their houses. Worse still, bees started to follow me. I got nervous, real nervous, and started to try to swat at them, but they were always too quick for me. I was gettign real wound up, with the temperature at boiling point, so when I went to the next house, and he answered, I couldn't stop myself."
"Henry, who do you mean by he?"
"Sorry, let me explain. I knocked on the door, still swatting at the bees, when who should answer, but that bee from the Honey Loops boxes. I stand there shocked for a minute, I mean it's not every day you see a giant bee, and especially not a famous one."
"You can say that again."
"It's not every day you see...."
"Sorry, figure of speech, just continue with the story."
"Anyway he invites me in, so I go it, gobsmacked. At least the little bees don't follow me in, I figure. Only this bee starts to sniff at me, then, my God, he tried to feel me up. I wasn't having any of that, so I swung my bag at him. My bag was full of cleaning products, aerosol cans and stuff, so it was rather heavy, but the bee didn't even flinch, it just started to buzz at me. So I grabs something from my bag, and it's a tin of air freshener. I took my lighter from my pocket, sprayed the air freshener, and using the lighter, I was able to cause a ball of flame. I was surprised by the success of this, and the bee was engulfed in flam. He tried to fly away, but one of his wings was too damamged by the fire, and he just crashed into the wall.
I ran at this point, straight out of the door, and into my car. I grabbed my mobile and went to dial, but sometihng stopped me, I don't know what, so I just sat there, and watched the house burn. The fire brigade did show up, but they couldn't save the bee, but I was glad of that, I'd never liked Honey Loops not since they dropped the 'Nut'."
"That's terrible..."
"Yeah, thye lost their taste altogether."
"No, I mena what happened to that bee. But it was an accident, you should have come straigh to the police. This fire happened months ago."
"I haven't finished yet. Did I mention that I lived near a farm?"
"No, you didn't."
"Yeah, well I did. It wasn't a big farm, a few chickens, sheep, cows, and some crops. Anyway, every morning this cockeral would wake me up, and I was begnning to get sick of it. I wasn't sleeping well after the Honey Nuts bee thing, and this cockeral really wasn't helping. I decided to head over to the farm to sort it out. I got there, but no one was around. I cold hear the cockeral though, and my blood started to boil. I looked around for him, behind the tractor was where I saw him, and his strange green plummage. Yep, it was the Corn Flakes cockeral. So I grebbed it, and wrung it's neck. It didn't help me sleep though, guilt was keeping awake.
I kept thinking back to what I had done, and the feelings it had created. I couldn't deny it, I actually enjoyed wringing that bird's neck, and I needed more.
I set off for the local supermarket, and decided to hang around the breakfast aisle. It wasn't long before I heard him, singing "I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops, oh yeah" Coco the monkey was in my sights. I follwed him discreetly around the rest of the store, stopping for a while to pick the best banana's and once he'd checked out his goods, I headed back to my car, keeping an eye on where he was heading. I saw him going over to the pedestrian crossing, so I put my foot down. I sped around the corner, and managed to reach a speed of over 50 mph when I hit him. He flew up into the air, and crashed into my windscreen, cracking it. As I continued to speed dowm the road, the monkey stayed on my bonnet, so I slammed on the brakes. The momentum carried Coco forward, and he flew off, then rolled lifelessly down the road. I put the car back into first gear, and continued down the road, smiling at the satisfying crunch noise made when I bumped over him.
It was like being in a different world. No longer would I be happy selling cleaning products to bored housewives, no I had found my higher calling.
It was only a week later that I struck again. Walking down the road one day I spotted a familiar face in a kitchen window. It was Pop, I was sure of it. A couple of hours observation confirmed this, and also that Snap and Crackle were also residing in this house. For how long I didn't know, I had to act fast. I rushed home, and begun working on something in my garage. The next morning I got up real early, and headed back to the house. I waited for the milkman to come deliver their milk, then I went to their doorstep, and switched one of the bottles with something of my own creating.
I waited in a tree outside the house "Snap, Crackle, Pop, meet your new friend, Bang" I laughed as one of the three must have taken the top from the 'milk' leading to a nasty chemical reaction between the air and my chemical mixture. The house was completely blown away. I'd done it again, but still I needed more.
I heaed straight down to the hairdressers, and sure as Hell, Honey Monster was there having a trim. I watched as the barber gave him exactly what he wanted, then when he had finished I followed him out, grabbing a pair of clippers as I went. He headed into an alley, no doubt to avoid his numerous fans. Once he was away from the view of the High Street, I attacked him with the clippers. What I didn't know before that time was that Honey Monster was made entirely of hair, and the clippers went right through him, severing him in two. He cried in pain, but I kept going, trim, trim, trim, until all that was left was a pile of hair on the floor, and two big eyes. I started to laugh, never before had I felt so good, but like a drug, the high didn't last for long, and I found myself craving another killing. I headed down to the TV studio, having discovered that Tony the Tiger was to shoot a new Frosties commercial there. In the car park I spotted a strange rocket. Inside I could definitely see Ricicle Rik. I grabbed a lead pipe, forced my way in, and beat him to death.
I headed into the studio, and found many many doors. Most rooms were empty, until I came across the dressing rooms. I entered one to see that variety pack octopus in a tank, practising his lines "When I choose, I can't lose" he said. I snuck up behind him, and grabbed a couple of his tenticles, tying them in a knot, I grabbed others and tied those too, before picking him from his tank and throwing him into a cupboard, and bolting the door. He wouldn't survive for long outside of his tank.
But still, Tony had eluded me, and that I didn't like. I found another door, marked 'recording studio' and headed in. "He trying to steal the secret formula" said someone. I was sure it was the voice of Tony, and thought he must be filming his advert. Only I was wrong, he came crashing down on top of me, and forced me to the ground. He put a bowl of Frosties in front of me, telling me "They're Great!". I tried them, and he was right. Suddenly everything became clear again, I had seen the error of my ways. It was Tony that encouraged me to come to you today, Inspector."
"I see. Well if you excuse me, I have a phone call to make. Interview terminated 13:32"
*CLICK*
"Thanks, I can live with this no longer, I just had to get it off my chest. I've done some bad, bad things man, some really bad things. Go, I don't even know where to start!"
"Just start from the beginning Henry, let me know how it all started."
"Okay man. It was at the end of last summer. I lived a pretty normal life. I had a job as a door-to-door salesman, selling cleaning products. Anyway, this one day it was real hot, I mean scorching. My car was like an oven, I never know why I had that grill installed in there, and there were these bugs, really bugging me. I was covered in midgets, by that I mean the little insects, not small people, so I sprayed some insect repellant all over myself. This stuff stunk, and when I tried to call on customers, they wouldn't let me into their houses. Worse still, bees started to follow me. I got nervous, real nervous, and started to try to swat at them, but they were always too quick for me. I was gettign real wound up, with the temperature at boiling point, so when I went to the next house, and he answered, I couldn't stop myself."
"Henry, who do you mean by he?"
"Sorry, let me explain. I knocked on the door, still swatting at the bees, when who should answer, but that bee from the Honey Loops boxes. I stand there shocked for a minute, I mean it's not every day you see a giant bee, and especially not a famous one."
"You can say that again."
"It's not every day you see...."
"Sorry, figure of speech, just continue with the story."
"Anyway he invites me in, so I go it, gobsmacked. At least the little bees don't follow me in, I figure. Only this bee starts to sniff at me, then, my God, he tried to feel me up. I wasn't having any of that, so I swung my bag at him. My bag was full of cleaning products, aerosol cans and stuff, so it was rather heavy, but the bee didn't even flinch, it just started to buzz at me. So I grabs something from my bag, and it's a tin of air freshener. I took my lighter from my pocket, sprayed the air freshener, and using the lighter, I was able to cause a ball of flame. I was surprised by the success of this, and the bee was engulfed in flam. He tried to fly away, but one of his wings was too damamged by the fire, and he just crashed into the wall.
I ran at this point, straight out of the door, and into my car. I grabbed my mobile and went to dial, but sometihng stopped me, I don't know what, so I just sat there, and watched the house burn. The fire brigade did show up, but they couldn't save the bee, but I was glad of that, I'd never liked Honey Loops not since they dropped the 'Nut'."
"That's terrible..."
"Yeah, thye lost their taste altogether."
"No, I mena what happened to that bee. But it was an accident, you should have come straigh to the police. This fire happened months ago."
"I haven't finished yet. Did I mention that I lived near a farm?"
"No, you didn't."
"Yeah, well I did. It wasn't a big farm, a few chickens, sheep, cows, and some crops. Anyway, every morning this cockeral would wake me up, and I was begnning to get sick of it. I wasn't sleeping well after the Honey Nuts bee thing, and this cockeral really wasn't helping. I decided to head over to the farm to sort it out. I got there, but no one was around. I cold hear the cockeral though, and my blood started to boil. I looked around for him, behind the tractor was where I saw him, and his strange green plummage. Yep, it was the Corn Flakes cockeral. So I grebbed it, and wrung it's neck. It didn't help me sleep though, guilt was keeping awake.
I kept thinking back to what I had done, and the feelings it had created. I couldn't deny it, I actually enjoyed wringing that bird's neck, and I needed more.
I set off for the local supermarket, and decided to hang around the breakfast aisle. It wasn't long before I heard him, singing "I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops, oh yeah" Coco the monkey was in my sights. I follwed him discreetly around the rest of the store, stopping for a while to pick the best banana's and once he'd checked out his goods, I headed back to my car, keeping an eye on where he was heading. I saw him going over to the pedestrian crossing, so I put my foot down. I sped around the corner, and managed to reach a speed of over 50 mph when I hit him. He flew up into the air, and crashed into my windscreen, cracking it. As I continued to speed dowm the road, the monkey stayed on my bonnet, so I slammed on the brakes. The momentum carried Coco forward, and he flew off, then rolled lifelessly down the road. I put the car back into first gear, and continued down the road, smiling at the satisfying crunch noise made when I bumped over him.
It was like being in a different world. No longer would I be happy selling cleaning products to bored housewives, no I had found my higher calling.
It was only a week later that I struck again. Walking down the road one day I spotted a familiar face in a kitchen window. It was Pop, I was sure of it. A couple of hours observation confirmed this, and also that Snap and Crackle were also residing in this house. For how long I didn't know, I had to act fast. I rushed home, and begun working on something in my garage. The next morning I got up real early, and headed back to the house. I waited for the milkman to come deliver their milk, then I went to their doorstep, and switched one of the bottles with something of my own creating.
I waited in a tree outside the house "Snap, Crackle, Pop, meet your new friend, Bang" I laughed as one of the three must have taken the top from the 'milk' leading to a nasty chemical reaction between the air and my chemical mixture. The house was completely blown away. I'd done it again, but still I needed more.
I heaed straight down to the hairdressers, and sure as Hell, Honey Monster was there having a trim. I watched as the barber gave him exactly what he wanted, then when he had finished I followed him out, grabbing a pair of clippers as I went. He headed into an alley, no doubt to avoid his numerous fans. Once he was away from the view of the High Street, I attacked him with the clippers. What I didn't know before that time was that Honey Monster was made entirely of hair, and the clippers went right through him, severing him in two. He cried in pain, but I kept going, trim, trim, trim, until all that was left was a pile of hair on the floor, and two big eyes. I started to laugh, never before had I felt so good, but like a drug, the high didn't last for long, and I found myself craving another killing. I headed down to the TV studio, having discovered that Tony the Tiger was to shoot a new Frosties commercial there. In the car park I spotted a strange rocket. Inside I could definitely see Ricicle Rik. I grabbed a lead pipe, forced my way in, and beat him to death.
I headed into the studio, and found many many doors. Most rooms were empty, until I came across the dressing rooms. I entered one to see that variety pack octopus in a tank, practising his lines "When I choose, I can't lose" he said. I snuck up behind him, and grabbed a couple of his tenticles, tying them in a knot, I grabbed others and tied those too, before picking him from his tank and throwing him into a cupboard, and bolting the door. He wouldn't survive for long outside of his tank.
But still, Tony had eluded me, and that I didn't like. I found another door, marked 'recording studio' and headed in. "He trying to steal the secret formula" said someone. I was sure it was the voice of Tony, and thought he must be filming his advert. Only I was wrong, he came crashing down on top of me, and forced me to the ground. He put a bowl of Frosties in front of me, telling me "They're Great!". I tried them, and he was right. Suddenly everything became clear again, I had seen the error of my ways. It was Tony that encouraged me to come to you today, Inspector."
"I see. Well if you excuse me, I have a phone call to make. Interview terminated 13:32"
*CLICK*