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This may well have been mentioned before, so sorry if I'm repeating what has already been said, but I just rediscovered a real gem of a movie website: http://christiananswers.net/spotlight/movies/home.html
I'm not normally one for mocking other people's religions, but these people, who review films according to Christian values, are really asking for trouble. One viewer review of Fight Club finishes with a magnificent flourish:
My caution would be: Do not see this movie. That being said, Fight Club was probably the best movie I've seen this year.
--Seth T. Hahne, age 26
Well done, Seth! Give that man a newspaper column.
To be fair, Seth is only a member of the public - who would expect any better of us? But the supposed professionals are at it as well. Apparently the movie Swordfish "is essentially a male rape fantasy". Uh-HUH. And The Big Lebowski is filled with "literally hundreds of instances of profanity and obscenity, plus sexually suggestive dialogue, drug abuse, discussion of pedophilia, female breast rear male nudity, and violence, making this a film off-limits to all Christians". Having looked at dozens of these reviews I can tell you that these movie critics are OBSESSED with 'rear male nudity', and are always very specific about what flesh you will and will not see. Yep, this sight is heaven for teenage boys, absolute heaven.
Actually some of the reviews on this site are quite good (Fight Club's editor even praises the site's review of his film); and those that aren't are usually unintentionally entertaining. And on a serious note, it's worth pointing out that this is an American site where free speech is constitutionally protected. So, however much these people might hate a film they aren't calling for it to be banned. It's a shame that the UK doesn't have similar protections: especially having gained a chilling insight into the mind of a moral censor from this website.
I'm not normally one for mocking other people's religions, but these people, who review films according to Christian values, are really asking for trouble. One viewer review of Fight Club finishes with a magnificent flourish:
My caution would be: Do not see this movie. That being said, Fight Club was probably the best movie I've seen this year.
--Seth T. Hahne, age 26
Well done, Seth! Give that man a newspaper column.
To be fair, Seth is only a member of the public - who would expect any better of us? But the supposed professionals are at it as well. Apparently the movie Swordfish "is essentially a male rape fantasy". Uh-HUH. And The Big Lebowski is filled with "literally hundreds of instances of profanity and obscenity, plus sexually suggestive dialogue, drug abuse, discussion of pedophilia, female breast rear male nudity, and violence, making this a film off-limits to all Christians". Having looked at dozens of these reviews I can tell you that these movie critics are OBSESSED with 'rear male nudity', and are always very specific about what flesh you will and will not see. Yep, this sight is heaven for teenage boys, absolute heaven.
Actually some of the reviews on this site are quite good (Fight Club's editor even praises the site's review of his film); and those that aren't are usually unintentionally entertaining. And on a serious note, it's worth pointing out that this is an American site where free speech is constitutionally protected. So, however much these people might hate a film they aren't calling for it to be banned. It's a shame that the UK doesn't have similar protections: especially having gained a chilling insight into the mind of a moral censor from this website.
Sadat-X wrote:
> You think thats sites bad, try this one
>
> http://www.capalert.com/
Haven't had time to look at this site properly yet, but I sensed something special when it threw up a pop-up entitled "SPECIAL PEN OFFER!!!":
FREE with your donation of $15 or more!
(one for each whole multiple of $15)
[imagine a 20pt font] STICKPEN!
No really - a stickpen! Where do I sign up? And for those of you not convinced yet, take a look at the STICKPEN's stats: (1) White barrel and blue cap and plug. (2) Cap has a molded pocket clip. (3) Six [SIX!] inches long. (4) Medium point. (5) Blue ink. Well bagger me! If I had a pen like that I wouldn't need to watch all these morally repugnant films: the women would be flooding, in and I could just sit at home writing rejection letters:
Dear Miss Spears/Berry/Hayek,
I'm afraid I must turn down your offer of a date - I find your clothing to be far too scanty, a sure sign that you lack moral fibre. Instead I shall stay at home and play with my six-inch long pen. You might have an alluring boob tube, but it has BLUE ink.
Yours sincerely,
Unknown Kernel
> You think thats sites bad, try this one
>
> http://www.capalert.com/
Haven't had time to look at this site properly yet, but I sensed something special when it threw up a pop-up entitled "SPECIAL PEN OFFER!!!":
FREE with your donation of $15 or more!
(one for each whole multiple of $15)
[imagine a 20pt font] STICKPEN!
No really - a stickpen! Where do I sign up? And for those of you not convinced yet, take a look at the STICKPEN's stats: (1) White barrel and blue cap and plug. (2) Cap has a molded pocket clip. (3) Six [SIX!] inches long. (4) Medium point. (5) Blue ink. Well bagger me! If I had a pen like that I wouldn't need to watch all these morally repugnant films: the women would be flooding, in and I could just sit at home writing rejection letters:
Dear Miss Spears/Berry/Hayek,
I'm afraid I must turn down your offer of a date - I find your clothing to be far too scanty, a sure sign that you lack moral fibre. Instead I shall stay at home and play with my six-inch long pen. You might have an alluring boob tube, but it has BLUE ink.
Yours sincerely,
Unknown Kernel
Grix Thraves wrote:
> "I'm not sure what the reviewer was thinking when they said
> partial nudity, but as I remember it it was awful, full frontal, Renee
> Russo in her fullest. It was gross, and the camera seems to linger on
> that are of her for a while at least twice. I was appalled and stared
> at my friend in wonder as we tried to decide when it would be over. We
> thought it was but we were wrong. For a while Renee Ruso decides that
> t-shirts are completely unnecessary and walks around topless, braless,
> whatever. Don't watch this porn flick, even partial nudity is too
> much."
>
> Wait for it...
>
> --Kyle, age 16
If that wasn't so damn funny, it'd be quite sweet. I mean, he 'stared at his friend in wonder'? Exactly how good looking is this guy's friend? Was there some kind, "You know Kyle, that wasn't my hot-dog you just took a bite out of" moment? Are they some kind of chaste couple now, tramping around the Bible Belt, frowning at the jezebels who wear their skirts above the ankle?
The real irony of it all is that one of the month's top 'Christian Answers' is 'Biblical Tips for dealing with sexual addictions'. Kyle and friend obviously took the advice to 'look away as soon as you see a scantily dressed female jogger' and extended it to movie stars. Well done, lads! Nice to see a bit of initiative in the younger generation.
> "I'm not sure what the reviewer was thinking when they said
> partial nudity, but as I remember it it was awful, full frontal, Renee
> Russo in her fullest. It was gross, and the camera seems to linger on
> that are of her for a while at least twice. I was appalled and stared
> at my friend in wonder as we tried to decide when it would be over. We
> thought it was but we were wrong. For a while Renee Ruso decides that
> t-shirts are completely unnecessary and walks around topless, braless,
> whatever. Don't watch this porn flick, even partial nudity is too
> much."
>
> Wait for it...
>
> --Kyle, age 16
If that wasn't so damn funny, it'd be quite sweet. I mean, he 'stared at his friend in wonder'? Exactly how good looking is this guy's friend? Was there some kind, "You know Kyle, that wasn't my hot-dog you just took a bite out of" moment? Are they some kind of chaste couple now, tramping around the Bible Belt, frowning at the jezebels who wear their skirts above the ankle?
The real irony of it all is that one of the month's top 'Christian Answers' is 'Biblical Tips for dealing with sexual addictions'. Kyle and friend obviously took the advice to 'look away as soon as you see a scantily dressed female jogger' and extended it to movie stars. Well done, lads! Nice to see a bit of initiative in the younger generation.
Grix Thraves wrote:
> Fantastic.
>
> Look for the Thomas Crown Affair. Loads of people having a go at it
> because of the sex before marriage thing... and what, one person, 47,
> points out that 'hey, you know, it's an 18. You should expect this
> stuff... and it was a decent film, I enjoyed it"
>
It is in fact a 15. :-D
> Fantastic.
>
> Look for the Thomas Crown Affair. Loads of people having a go at it
> because of the sex before marriage thing... and what, one person, 47,
> points out that 'hey, you know, it's an 18. You should expect this
> stuff... and it was a decent film, I enjoyed it"
>
It is in fact a 15. :-D
You think thats sites bad, try this one
http://www.capalert.com/
They have an in-depth analysis of each film - 100 being perfect for all young christians, 0 being, well, hellworthy I guess.
Needless to say they didn't like Dogma or American Psycho.
I can't really explain their rating method, but please look at the site, its great for a laugh
http://www.capalert.com/
They have an in-depth analysis of each film - 100 being perfect for all young christians, 0 being, well, hellworthy I guess.
Needless to say they didn't like Dogma or American Psycho.
I can't really explain their rating method, but please look at the site, its great for a laugh
Fantastic.
Look for the Thomas Crown Affair. Loads of people having a go at it because of the sex before marriage thing... and what, one person, 47, points out that 'hey, you know, it's an 18. You should expect this stuff... and it was a decent film, I enjoyed it"
Only to responce of "Rene Russo a born again Christian? Her character had pre-marital sex!"
Character. *shakes head*
This, however, was my favourite comment of all.
"I'm not sure what the reviewer was thinking when they said partial nudity, but as I remember it it was awful, full frontal, Renee Russo in her fullest. It was gross, and the camera seems to linger on that are of her for a while at least twice. I was appalled and stared at my friend in wonder as we tried to decide when it would be over. We thought it was but we were wrong. For a while Renee Ruso decides that t-shirts are completely unnecessary and walks around topless, braless, whatever. Don't watch this porn flick, even partial nudity is too much."
Wait for it...
--Kyle, age 16
I think, according to the Bible, this boy should be killed. :0)
Look for the Thomas Crown Affair. Loads of people having a go at it because of the sex before marriage thing... and what, one person, 47, points out that 'hey, you know, it's an 18. You should expect this stuff... and it was a decent film, I enjoyed it"
Only to responce of "Rene Russo a born again Christian? Her character had pre-marital sex!"
Character. *shakes head*
This, however, was my favourite comment of all.
"I'm not sure what the reviewer was thinking when they said partial nudity, but as I remember it it was awful, full frontal, Renee Russo in her fullest. It was gross, and the camera seems to linger on that are of her for a while at least twice. I was appalled and stared at my friend in wonder as we tried to decide when it would be over. We thought it was but we were wrong. For a while Renee Ruso decides that t-shirts are completely unnecessary and walks around topless, braless, whatever. Don't watch this porn flick, even partial nudity is too much."
Wait for it...
--Kyle, age 16
I think, according to the Bible, this boy should be killed. :0)
I like the way that the views range from offensive to very offensive.
Wow, this is a great quote:
"every form of evil is presented with a pretty face to the audience."
They're reviewing Clueless!
Obviously The Cable Guy:
The Cable Guy reeks of sexual innuendo, profanity, obscenity, blackmail, dishonesty, and "adult situations".
And this hugely relevant comment on Gladiator:
"In a time when Christianity was sweeping across Rome I was disappointed that our gladiator was not a converted Christian."
And on Memento:
"None of the characters inhabit a world that at all reflects a Christian morality."
This site rules.
Wow, this is a great quote:
"every form of evil is presented with a pretty face to the audience."
They're reviewing Clueless!
Obviously The Cable Guy:
The Cable Guy reeks of sexual innuendo, profanity, obscenity, blackmail, dishonesty, and "adult situations".
And this hugely relevant comment on Gladiator:
"In a time when Christianity was sweeping across Rome I was disappointed that our gladiator was not a converted Christian."
And on Memento:
"None of the characters inhabit a world that at all reflects a Christian morality."
This site rules.
Well, it could only get worse if it squirted sulphuric acid in your eyes...
This may well have been mentioned before, so sorry if I'm repeating what has already been said, but I just rediscovered a real gem of a movie website: http://christiananswers.net/spotlight/movies/home.html
I'm not normally one for mocking other people's religions, but these people, who review films according to Christian values, are really asking for trouble. One viewer review of Fight Club finishes with a magnificent flourish:
My caution would be: Do not see this movie. That being said, Fight Club was probably the best movie I've seen this year.
--Seth T. Hahne, age 26
Well done, Seth! Give that man a newspaper column.
To be fair, Seth is only a member of the public - who would expect any better of us? But the supposed professionals are at it as well. Apparently the movie Swordfish "is essentially a male rape fantasy". Uh-HUH. And The Big Lebowski is filled with "literally hundreds of instances of profanity and obscenity, plus sexually suggestive dialogue, drug abuse, discussion of pedophilia, female breast rear male nudity, and violence, making this a film off-limits to all Christians". Having looked at dozens of these reviews I can tell you that these movie critics are OBSESSED with 'rear male nudity', and are always very specific about what flesh you will and will not see. Yep, this sight is heaven for teenage boys, absolute heaven.
Actually some of the reviews on this site are quite good (Fight Club's editor even praises the site's review of his film); and those that aren't are usually unintentionally entertaining. And on a serious note, it's worth pointing out that this is an American site where free speech is constitutionally protected. So, however much these people might hate a film they aren't calling for it to be banned. It's a shame that the UK doesn't have similar protections: especially having gained a chilling insight into the mind of a moral censor from this website.
I'm not normally one for mocking other people's religions, but these people, who review films according to Christian values, are really asking for trouble. One viewer review of Fight Club finishes with a magnificent flourish:
My caution would be: Do not see this movie. That being said, Fight Club was probably the best movie I've seen this year.
--Seth T. Hahne, age 26
Well done, Seth! Give that man a newspaper column.
To be fair, Seth is only a member of the public - who would expect any better of us? But the supposed professionals are at it as well. Apparently the movie Swordfish "is essentially a male rape fantasy". Uh-HUH. And The Big Lebowski is filled with "literally hundreds of instances of profanity and obscenity, plus sexually suggestive dialogue, drug abuse, discussion of pedophilia, female breast rear male nudity, and violence, making this a film off-limits to all Christians". Having looked at dozens of these reviews I can tell you that these movie critics are OBSESSED with 'rear male nudity', and are always very specific about what flesh you will and will not see. Yep, this sight is heaven for teenage boys, absolute heaven.
Actually some of the reviews on this site are quite good (Fight Club's editor even praises the site's review of his film); and those that aren't are usually unintentionally entertaining. And on a serious note, it's worth pointing out that this is an American site where free speech is constitutionally protected. So, however much these people might hate a film they aren't calling for it to be banned. It's a shame that the UK doesn't have similar protections: especially having gained a chilling insight into the mind of a moral censor from this website.