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SR Wars
Scene 1
It is a time of civil war. Rebel space ships, striking from their hidden base have won their first battle against the evil SR Empire. Plans for a new banning method capable of destroying an entire thread have been stolen and smuggled out of SR Towers. Now Princess Mystique is racing towards the safety of the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum, custodian of the stolen plans. However, the evil Darth Snuggly isn't far behind... If you read and understood this you are more intelligent than me, I'll give you that...
*A small starship is being pelted with fire from the huge Spam Destroyer which is slowly but surely catching up to it*
RM18 - Beep beep beep
KR - There'll be no escape for the princess now!
*The small ship is enveloped in a huge shadow as the Spam Destroyer passes over it and attaches itself with cables*
KR - Oh my!
*A group of rebels draw their guns and set up positions by the door which is being quickly melted down from the other side. Suddenly Stafftroopers start pouring through the door, blasting anything that moves*
KR - Let's get out of here!
RM18 - Beep beep!
Scene 2
*Princess Mystique is fiddling with the buttons on RM18*
RM18 - Beep beep whistle!
Mystique - Hold still you little blighter! Aw, look what you did now! My best score on snake and you make me hit the wrong button! Now, what was I doing..? Ah, yes, the plans. Right, record what I say...
*KR approaches*
KR - RM18 what are you doing?
*RM18 rolls over to him*
KR - Hey, come back! Oi! You're not allowed in there! You'll be banned for sure!
*RM18 opens the doors for the escape pod and slips in*
KR - Don't call me a spammer you overgrown newbie! Now get out of there before someone sees you!
*A laser blast whizzes past KR, narrowly missing his metal head*
KR - Oh I'm going to regret this...
*In the Spam Destroyer*
Stafftrooper - Look, there goes another one!
Hybrid Valves - Hold, there's no life signs, it must have short circuited... Unless it's got two droids in it with the very plans we're looking for... But, hey, what are the chances of that, eh?
*Back in the rebel ship, Darth Snuggly is holding a rebel by his throat, surrounded by several Stafftroopers*
AfroJoe - We intercepted no such transmissions; we are on a peaceful mission to the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum!
Snuggly - Liar, liar your bum's on fire! Tell me where the plans are before I take back all those GADs
*AfroJoe chokes in Snuggly's grip and is thrown like a rag doll across the corridor*
Snuggly - Tear this ship apart, I want those plans! Bring me the crew, I want them alive!
*The Stafftroopers fall over themselves trying to carry out their orders*
Scene 2
*On the Sony - PS1 & PS2 forum, KR and RM18 emerge from the escape pod*
KR - You tricked me into going with you!
RM18 - Whistle
KR - Oh log off!
*Suddenly **Kerrang!** and several other newbies jump out from behind some rocks*
**Kerrang!** - Ticket-teh-wah!
*He blasts the droids with an energy weapon and they are moved onto their spam mobile*
Scene 3
*A posting farm, where Rakuga is sat, bored*
Rakuga - Oh I wish two droids carrying plans for the SR Empire's new weapon would come along so I can meet an old man and leave this gosh forsaken heck hole
*The spam mobile appears and the newbies get out*
**Kerrang!** - Two droids carrying plans for the SR Empire's new weapon here, you interested?
Rakuga - Take a hike, newbie!
**Kerrang!** - Are you sure? Only 10 galactic pounds
Rakuga - OK, but only to shut you up. My uncle needs some new droids... I'd better get them cleaned up
*Rakuga leads the two droids into his garage and begins tinkering with RM18. Suddenly a projection shoots out and Mystique is displayed*
Mystique - Rastabilly Skank, long ago you served my father in the Spam Wars, now I must ask for your help again. I fear that if you are watching this it is because my mission has failed. Plans vital for the rebellion are in this droid, please see it delivered safely to the Movies forum... Oh, and he may have an annoying friend with him called KR, I suppose you can bring him along too
KR - Hey!
Mystique - Help me, Rastabilly Skank, you're my only hope
*The recording ends, Rakuga looks stunned*
Rakuga - Rastabilly Skank? He's an old hermit who lives out in the spam sea... Come on, guys, it's time for an adventure!
Scene 3
Rakuga - And then she said you're her only hope.
*Rastabilly Skank strokes his beard*
Rastabilly Skank - Hmm... You must learn the ways of the sauce if you are to come with me to the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum.
Rakuga - The sauce?
Rastabilly Skank - No, the force
Rakuga - You said-
Rastabilly Skank - (exploding) I know what I said! Now... Are you coming or not?
Rakuga - The Movies, TV, Music and Books? That's too far away... It's not that I like the SR Empire, I hate it! But there's nothing I can do...
Rastabilly Skank - That's your head talking. Listen to your heart and it'll tell you to do the stupid things in life... Oh, and that reminds me, I have something for you. A life saver
Rakuga - Life saver?
Rastabilly Skank - No, you moron, a lightsabre
Rakuga - But you said-
Rastabilly Skank - (exploding) I know what I said! Ahem, now, press this button... here... point away from face and don't break it, I lost the receipt
*Rakuga holds out the lightsabre and ignites it*
Rakuga - Wow, that's purty
Rastabilly Skank - Come on, cretin, let's go
Scene 4
*Rastabilly Skank and Rakuga enter a pub*
Rastabilly Skank - You order something, I'm going to find a pilot for us
*Rakuga approaches the bar and taps the barman on the shoulder*
Tiltawhirl - Yeah?
Rakuga - I'd like a drink, what you got?
Tiltawhirl - You expect me to remember every single drink we serve here?
Rakuga - Well, um... how many do you have?
Tiltawhirl - One
Rakuga - O....K. And that is...?
Tiltawhirl - You expect me to remember that?!
Rakuga - Just forget it
*Shaneo comes up and nudges Rakuga with his elbow*
Rakuga - Hey, watch it, muppet
Shaneo - Muppet? You just watch yourself, I've been banned from SR six times!
Rakuga - I'll be careful...
Shaneo - You'll be dead! Dead banned that is!
Rastabilly Skank - This idiot isn't worth the trouble, come let me get you a drink... Bartender?
Tiltawhirl - Yeah?
Rastabilly Skank - What you got?
Tiltawhirl - You expect me to remem-
*Shaneo goes for Rakuga, but Rastabilly Skank whips out his lightsabre and slashes at him*
Rakuga - Um... it works better if you turn it on
Rastabilly Skank - (exploding) I know what I'm doing!
*he turns his lightsabre on, but Shaneo has already legged it*
Rastabilly Skank - I've found a ship that might be what we're looking for
*Wookiee Monster and Stryke are sat at a table, drinking whatever it is the pub serves*
Stryke - Wookie Monster here tells me you're looking for transport to the Movies forum...
Rastabilly Skank - Indeed, if it's a fast ship
Stryke - Fast ship? You've never heard of the Notable Falcon?
Rastabilly Skank - Should I have?
Stryke - It's fast enough for you old man. Now, it'll cost you 10,000 galactic pounds
Rakuga - 10,000???
Stryke - Yeah, 10,000
Rakuga - Oh, sorry, I thought you said something else
Rastabilly Skank - OK, we'll take it, but for only £10
*Rastabilly Skank waves his hand*
Stryke - (in a trance) Yes, only £10
Rakuga - What the-?
Rastabilly Skank - The force can have a wonderful effect on the weak minded... Watch this... Stryke, punch yourself
*He does so*
Rastabilly Skank - Harder! Harder! Ha ha, look at that, he's bleeding!
Rakuga - We'd better get going, some Stafftroopers just came in
Rastabilly Skank - OK... just one more! Kick yourself!
*Rakuga and Rastabilly Skank leave and Stryke snaps out of it*
Stryke - My face hurts... Right, Wookie Monster, get the ship ready, I'm gonna hang around here for a bit, maybe a bounty hunter will show up and almost kill me
*Wookie Monster leaves and Hercules comes in*
Hercules - Going somewhere, Stryke?
Stryke - No, not really... Actually I was hoping you'd show
Hercules - There's a bounty on your head SO high, everyone on the forums is looking for you
Stryke - Is that so?
Hercules - I'm lucky I found you first. Now, come with me, don't make me use force
Stryke - Yeah, right, like a spammer like you could ever make me do anything!
*Hercules pulls a gun*
Stryke - Yeah, as I was saying, let's go! Can't wait for you to collect that bounty on me!
*Wookie Monster appears and sighs, before blasting Hercules*
Stryke - Yeah, I was just about to do that myself, you know? I was throwing him off with the whole "I'm a coward" thing... Ahem, um... Let's go
Scene 5
*big_slow the spammer is loitering around the Notable Falcon*
big_slow - Stryke! Stryke!
Stryke - I'm right here, slowy
*Stryke slowly walks towards the huge spammer*
big_slow - Where's my money?
Stryke - Listen, here's the thing... I tried to call you Monday but-
big_slow - You have two days!
*big_slow and his group of bounty hunters leave just as Rastabilly Skank and Rakuga arrive with the two droids*
Stryke - Come on, hurry it up, this isn't the Love Boat you know!
*They all get in just as a group of Stafftroopers runs into the hanger*
Stafftrooper - Hey, you! Stop right there!
*Stryke draws his gun and starts blasting, missing every single Stafftrooper as he runs into the ship*
Stryke - Wookie, get us outta here!
*Wookie Monster ignites the ion engines and the Notable Falcon lifts up out of the hanger as the Stafftroopers continue shooting at it*
Stryke - I see 'em, I see 'em!
Rakuga - See what?
Stryke - Two Spam Destroyers, heading right for us! You guys in trouble or something?
Rastabilly Skank - Yeah, a few unpaid parking tickets
Stryke - Go strap yourselves in, I'm gonna make the jump to light speed!
*The Notable Falcon streaks away from the two Imperial ships*
Scene 6
*Aboard the Ban Bar*
Snuggly - Now, Princess Mystique, we will discuss the location of your rebel base
*Snuggly leaves the cell and Loki walks up*
Loki - Any luck?
Snuggly - She's more resistant to our methods than I originally thought, even forcing her to watch Barney And Friends does nothing
Loki - That's a little harsh isn't it? I think we may need an alternative plan of getting her to talk. Set your course for the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum.
*Mystique is brought before Loki and Darth Snuggly*
Mystique - Loki? Where's Hybrid, I wanna know if he's fit or not!
Loki - Charming to the last. You had no idea how hard I found it signing the order to terminate your SR membership
Mystique - It's alright, I never bought anything anyway
Loki - Since you are unwilling to help us, I have decided to use this station's awesome power on something you hold dear to your heart... the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum
Mystique - Meh, I hardly go there anyway
Loki - Ban it. Ban the whole forum
*The Ban Bar warms up as it circles the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum. A huge green blast emits from the Ban Bar's primary weapon and the entire forum goes grey*
Mystique - You monster! There were regulars in there!
Loki - You would prefer another target, a military target, then name the forum!
Mystique - They're on the... They're on the Life, The Universe and Everything forum
Loki - OK, let's go. I'm driving!
Snuggly - I call shotgun!
Scene 7
*Aboard the Notable Falcon*
Rastabilly Skank - Feel the force flowing through you!
*Rakuga is wildly swinging his lightsabre around*
Stryke - Hey, watch it! I just finished decorating this thing! Hey, look you could've broken that!
*Rastabilly Skank doubles over in pain*
Rakuga - Are you alright?
Rastabilly Skank - Do I look alright you moron? I feel a great disturbance in the force
Rakuga - Oh, sorry, that was me
Rastabilly Skank - No not you... Oh God that stinks! Anyway, I mean I feel like dozens of SR users all screamed out at once, then were suddenly silenced... I feel something terrible has happened
Stryke - Hey, Wookie Monster, stop beating KR at Teken Tag Tournament and come and help me. We're coming up on the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum
*They all enter the cockpit*
Stryke - OK, stand by I'm cutting the sub-light engines
*The patterns stop and they're back in normal space, being showered with posts*
Rakuga - What the heck?
Stryke - Looks like someone was banned and all their posts are just floating around
Rakuga - Where's the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum?
Stryke - The position's correct, it's just not here
Rakuga - What do you mean?
Rastabilly Skank - Banned, by the SR Empire
Stryke - That's stupid, it would take more SR staff than I've ever seen to ban an entire forum
Rakuga - What's that?
Stryke - It's another ship
Rastabilly Skank - It's a Special Reserve ship
Stryke - There aren't any shops around here, where'd it come from?
Rakuga - Must have gotten lost
Rastabilly Skank - No, it's a short range Special Reserve delivery ship
Stryke - Late as usual
*Everyone looks nervous*
Stryke - Hey, someone had to say it! OK, we'll take care of him before he tells anyone we're here... Wookie Monster, jam his transmissions. Look, he's heading for that small moon
Rastabilly Skank - That's no moon... That's an inflatable turkey
Stryke - Um, no, actually I think it's a space station. I'm turning around, let's get the heck outta here!
Rakuga - Why are we still moving towards it?
Stryke - We're caught in a tractor beam! Darn it! I knew I should've bought those anti-tractor beam emitters! Only £5 but Wookie Monster here wanted some fancy shampoo!
*The Notable Falcon is dragged towards the Ban Bar, into one of the hangers. Several Stafftroopers appear and head inside the ship*
Snuggly - What's going on?
Stafftrooper - It must be a decoy, sir, several of the escape pods have been launched
Snuggly - Oh come on! They're obviously hiding in the ship! Think about it, numbskull! I want a scanning party in there
Stafftrooper - Yes, sir! Get me a scanning crew in here on the double! I want every part of that ship searched!
Snuggly - I sense something... Something I have not sensed since... Oh my God that stinks!
*Darth Snuggly rushes off, holding his breathing mask*
*On the Notable Falcon, the gang emerge from a cupboard*
Rakuga - Good job you have these cupboards
Stryke - Yeah I have them for me biscuits... This is as stupid as a newbie injected with a stupid drug, even if I could take off we'd never get past that tractor beam
Rastabilly Skank - Leave that to me
*The gang sneak into a control room*
Rastabilly Skank - Plug into the console, they're stupid enough to let any old idiot log on and get to the entire SR network
*RM18 plugs himself into the terminal and starts bringing up information on the screen*
Rastabilly Skank - Aha, there it is... You lot wait here, don't wander off because I can't be bothered to search for you later on
Rakuga - But I want to go with you
Rastabilly Skank - *exploding* I know what I'm doing! Ahem, just wait here... I'll be back! Ha ha, I always wanted to say that
*He leaves just as RM18 starts beeping*
Rakuga - What's wrong?
KR - He says he's found the princess!
Rakuga - She's here?!
Stryke - Princess? What's going on here?
Rakuga - She's the one in the message! We've gotta save her!
Stryke - Is she fit?
Rakuga - Nobody knows, but it's one way of finding out!
Stryke - OK, let's do this thing. Wookie Monster, stick these handcuffs on... No, we're not playing cops and robbers, look, this is what we're gonna do...
Scene 8
*Stryke and Rakuga, dressed in SR uniforms, are walking along the corridors of the Ban Bar with Wookie Monster*
Stryke - This isn't gonna work!
Rakuga - Why didn't you say so befo- Wait, this is your plan!
Stryke - Oh... well then of course it'll work, stop being so negative!
*They walk into the detention area*
Hybrid Valves - Where are you taking this... thing?
Stryke - Hey, who you callin' a-
*Rakuga coughs*
Stryke - Oh, this, um, prisoner transfer from Beverly Hills 91210
Hybrid Valves - I wasn't notified, I'll have to clear it
*Wookie Monster breaks free from his handcuffs*
Hybrid Valves - Argh! A fight! I'm out of here!
*The SR staff clear the room and Stryke runs up to the computer*
Stryke - Cell 3, you go get her
*Rakuga runs down the corridor and pushes the button*
Rakuga - Oh, sorry, wrong cell
*He tries the next one*
Mystique - Aren't you a little ugly for a staff member?
Rakuga - I'm Rakuga, I'm here to rescue you! I'm here with Rastabilly Skank and RM18! Oh... and KR
Mystique - Rastabilly? Where is he?
Rakuga - Wandering around somewhere, probably lost... come on!
*Stryke and Wookie Monster have run down the corridor too*
Stryke - Sorry, I looked the door by accident, looks like we're not getting out that way!
Mystique - This is some rescue, you managed to log in, you got a way of logging out?
Rakuga - He's the brains, sweetheart! Oh, wait... No, I am
Rakuga - Heeey!
Mystique - Someone has to get us out of here, I'm missing Eastenders!
*She takes Stryke's gun and blasts a hole in a vent*
Mystique - Oh, sorry, wrong vent
*She tries the next one*
Mystique - Into the rubbish chute, fun boy
Stryke - What's a fu-
*She kicks him down the hole*
Rakuga - Weeeeeeeeee!
*He jumps down and is followed by Mystique and Wookie Monster*
*They all land is a pile of spam*
Stryke - Urgh... I hate spam. Come on, let's get the heck outta here!
Rakuga - OK, I'll just contact KR and tell him to open the door
Stryke - Pft, we don't need to do that!
*He shoots the door and it opens*
Mystique - Cocky son of a-
*They all exit*
Scene 9
*Rastabilly Skank is at the tractor beam controls*
Rastabilly Skank - OK... two buttons... OFF and ALARM... Hmmm... Well, the force is telling me to push this one
*The alarms go off*
Rastabilly Skank - Argh! Who designs these things?! Bill Gates?
*He presses OFF and runs off, only to bump into Darth Snuggly*
Snuggly - So, we meet again, old man
Rastabilly Skank = Who you calling old? Oh, wait...
Snuggly - When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master
Rastabilly Skank - Only a master of... Hang on
*He pulls out a "Witty One Liners" book and flicks through for a few seconds*
Rastabilly Skank - Ah, here we go. Only a master of evil, Snuggers
*Mr Snuggly ignites his lightsabre*
Rastabilly Skank - Two can play at that game! Now... two buttons... one says ON, the other says SELF DESTRUCT... Well, the force is telling me to push this one...
Scene 10
*The gang enter the hangar with the Notable Falcon in*
Stryke - Looks OK, if we can get to it
Mystique - You came in that thing? You're stupider than I thought
Rakuga - KR, do you read me? Where are you?
KR - Right behind you, sir
Rakuga - OK, meet us at the ship
KR - Um... yes, sir
*They start running towards the ship, but Rakuga spots Rastabilly Skank and Darth Snuggly*
Rastabilly Skank - Argh! Help me!
Rakuga - Rastabilly Skank?
Rastabilly Skank - He's tryin' to KILL me!
*Rastabilly Skank is running away from Snuggly as he swings his lightsabre at his heels*
Rastabilly Skank - Hey, watch it, these robes are nearly new!
Snuggly - Come 'ere!
Rastabilly Skank - No, I don't want to!
Snuggly - I said come here!
*He leaps at Rastabilly Skank and tackles him down to the floor*
Snuggly - I have you now
Rastabilly Skank - Argh! If only I hadn't given my other lightsabre to that fool Rakuga!
*Snuggly raises his weapon above his head, and brings it down, cutting Rastabilly Skank in half*
Rakuga - Noooooooooo!
Stryke - Come on, kid! Get inside, I left the engine running and we're nearly out of petrol!
*They all run up the ramp into the ship*
Stryke - I hope the old man got the tractor beam out of commission or this is gonna be a real short trip! OK hit it! ...No, not the punch bag, Wookie Monster... the GO button? Knew it was a mistake letting him have that thing in here...
*The ship shoots out of the Ban Bar*
*Meanwhile, inside*
Loki - Hey, Snuggly
*He starts pressing the buttons on Darth Snuggly's chest. A cup of coffee rolls out*
Loki - Cheers... Now, are you sure the tracking device is placed onboard their ship? I'm not just asking to help the audience with the plot, I really mean it!
Snuggly - Yeah, yeah, I got it... Jeez!
Loki - I'm taking an awful risk here
Scene 11
*On the Web Design, PC, Internet & Freeola forum*
Grix Thraves - You're safe! When we heard about the Movies forum... we feared the worst
Mystique - Yeah, well, I hardly ever go there anyway... Now, the plans for the Ban Bar are in this droid, have a look will you? We need to send as many of our pilots up to die in a vein attempt of destroying it as soon as possible!
Rakuga - So, you found out if Mystique was fit or not and you're just gonna leave?
Stryke - That's right. I can sell the story to the papers and pay off my debts
Rakuga - Well take care of yourself, Stryke, I guess that's what you're best at!
Stryke - Yep
*Wookie Monster nudges him*
Stryke - Oh, yeah, right... Um, may the force be with you... or something
*Later on*
Ant - The target is only two metres wide, so you'll have to crash your ship directly into it
*Someone whispers in his ear*
Ant - Oh, I'm being told we're actually giving you weapons this time, so you don't actually need to crash your ship... Unless you want to, of course. Now, where was I? Ah, yes, you have to fly down this narrow passage, where you and the ones you hold dearest to you will all be shot to pieces by enemy fire. Any questions?
Everyone - Nope, sounds good to me
Ant - Then man your ships... And may the force be with me
*Someone whispers in his ear*
Ant - You, I mean you!
Rakuga - Aren't you coming?
Ant - What are you, crazy?
*The pilots rush to their ships*
Mystique - Good luck, Rakuga... Oh, and if you damage this ship, it's coming out of your wages!
*The rebel ships start taking off one by one and head into space*
Goatboy - This is Red leader, all wings report in
Meka Dragon - Red 2 standing by
FantasyMeister - Red 4 standing by
Snipe - Red 3 standing by
Rakuga - Red 5 standing by
Ice Blaster - Red 7 standing by
Microchips - Red 6 standing by
Goatboy - Can't you guys count? OK, we're going in
Snipe - Look @ the size of that thing!
Goatboy - Cut the text talk, Red 3! Lock s-foils in attack position
*Aboard the Ban Bar*
Joe King - We count 7 rebel ships, Lord Snuggly
Snuggly - Lord Snuggly? I like the sound of that! Ahem, OK, get those big guns we have on this place working, and, well I suppose we can send out some ships too
Loki - How long until we can ban their forum?
Snuggly - Another 5 minutes... This will be a glorious day for Special Reserve, it saw the end of Rastabilly Skank, it will soon see the end of the rebellion... and hopefully You've Been Framed too
*In space around the Ban Bar, the rebel ships are dog fighting with the SR staff*
Goatboy - Watch out, Red 4, you've picked one up!
FantasyMeister - Really? Is she fit?
Goatboy - No you idiot, an enemy ship! Eject!
FantasyMeister - OK, two buttons... one says EJECT, the other KAMIKAZE DIVE... well, the force is telling me to press this one...
*His ship veers down towards the Ban Bar's metal surface and explodes*
Goatboy - Urgh, I'm working with amateurs here!
Snipe - Ah ha! Take that!
Goatboy - Nice one, Snipe, you just shot down Ice Blaster
Snipe - Oops, my bad
Goatboy - OK, I'm going in, Snipe, Meka Dragon, you cover me
Snipe - Rodger!
*They start their journey down the trench, being bombarded by enemy fire. Meka Dragon is winging by a shot and starts spiralling out of control*
Meka Dragon - Arrrrghhh! Tell my friends I love them!
Goatboy - What friends?
*His ship smashes into the wall of the trench*
Goatboy - Oh no! Enemy ships!
Snuggly - I'll take the leader, cover me
*Snuggly starts blasting at Goatboy's ship*
Goatboy - Darn it! I knew I should've forked out that £5 for those back shields!
*He blows up*
Snipe - Argh! im left on own, cu!
*He crashes his ship into one of the cannons*
Rakuga - Microchips, it's up to us!
Microchips - Us? Us nothing, I'm out of here!
*He turns on his hyperdrive and shoots off into space*
Rakuga - Darn it! Where's Rastabilly Skank when I need him!
Rastabilly Skank - I'm right here, my son... Hey, have you farted?!
Rakuga - What can I do? I'm all alone and I've got to destroy this entire space station!
Rastabilly Skank - Use the forks
Rakuga - The forks?
Rastabilly Skank - No, the force you idiot! OK, here's what you do... You restart windows and-
Rakuga - Darn it! This isn't a PC problem! This thing is about to ban an entire forum! Help me out a little here!
Rastabilly Skank - OK, OK, calm down...
Rakuga - Well?!
Rastabilly Skank - I'm thinking, I'm thinking! Jeez, give me a break! The mind's not what it once was, being that I'm dead and all... OK, got it, fly your ship down the canyon, shoot at the target, and get out before the whole thing goes boom
Rakuga - Gee... thanks
Rastabilly Skank - OK, I've got to go, I promised Your Honour I'd help him with his homework
*Darth Snuggly's ship appears behind Rakuga's as he heads into the trench*
Rakuga - Here goes nothing... And I mean nothing! I thought they were giving us guns!
*Ant comes onto the intercom*
Ant - Ah, yes... sorry, but budget cuts and all... you know how it is... Mystique needed a new hairdryer
Rakuga - What the? Arrrgh! What the heck am I meant to do!
Ant - Well, you could-
Rakuga - Apart from crashing my ship!
Ant - Well, you got me! Anyway, I've already left the forum so it doesn't bother me if you don't succeed
*Darth Snuggly starts firing at Rakuga's tail*
Rakuga - My ship is on fire! My ship is on fire! How could things be any worse?!
Stryke - Ye haw!
Rakuga - I had to open my mouth, didn't I?
Stryke - We're here to save you kid!
Rakuga - No thanks, I can take care of myself
*Mr Snuggly fires again, but Rakuga veers right and the laser blasts shoot right past him and into the target*
Rakuga - Woo hoo!
Snuggly - Oops
*He whistles as he turns his ship around*
*A chain reaction starts and the whole space station starts to explode*
Stryke - Let's get the heck out of here! We're missing Wish You Were Here!
*The Notable Falcon and Rakuga head off back towards the Web Design, PC, Internet & Freeola forum as the Ban Bar is engulfed in a huge explosion*
Stryke - Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!
Rakuga - But I didn't do- Ah, yes, it WAS great, wasn't it?
Scene 12
*A huge gathering of notables and regulars is waiting in a room. The doors open and Stryke, Rakuga and Wookie Monster all enter*
Stryke - *as he's walking past everyone* Hey, how you doin'?
*They reach the top of the room where Mystique is waiting*
Mystique - OK, we've all got better things to do, so I hereby give you these medals for saving me, and the SR forums as we know them... Um... thanks
*They turn and there's scattered applause*
Stryke - Thank you! Thank you!
THE END
Scene 1
It is a time of civil war. Rebel space ships, striking from their hidden base have won their first battle against the evil SR Empire. Plans for a new banning method capable of destroying an entire thread have been stolen and smuggled out of SR Towers. Now Princess Mystique is racing towards the safety of the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum, custodian of the stolen plans. However, the evil Darth Snuggly isn't far behind... If you read and understood this you are more intelligent than me, I'll give you that...
*A small starship is being pelted with fire from the huge Spam Destroyer which is slowly but surely catching up to it*
RM18 - Beep beep beep
KR - There'll be no escape for the princess now!
*The small ship is enveloped in a huge shadow as the Spam Destroyer passes over it and attaches itself with cables*
KR - Oh my!
*A group of rebels draw their guns and set up positions by the door which is being quickly melted down from the other side. Suddenly Stafftroopers start pouring through the door, blasting anything that moves*
KR - Let's get out of here!
RM18 - Beep beep!
Scene 2
*Princess Mystique is fiddling with the buttons on RM18*
RM18 - Beep beep whistle!
Mystique - Hold still you little blighter! Aw, look what you did now! My best score on snake and you make me hit the wrong button! Now, what was I doing..? Ah, yes, the plans. Right, record what I say...
*KR approaches*
KR - RM18 what are you doing?
*RM18 rolls over to him*
KR - Hey, come back! Oi! You're not allowed in there! You'll be banned for sure!
*RM18 opens the doors for the escape pod and slips in*
KR - Don't call me a spammer you overgrown newbie! Now get out of there before someone sees you!
*A laser blast whizzes past KR, narrowly missing his metal head*
KR - Oh I'm going to regret this...
*In the Spam Destroyer*
Stafftrooper - Look, there goes another one!
Hybrid Valves - Hold, there's no life signs, it must have short circuited... Unless it's got two droids in it with the very plans we're looking for... But, hey, what are the chances of that, eh?
*Back in the rebel ship, Darth Snuggly is holding a rebel by his throat, surrounded by several Stafftroopers*
AfroJoe - We intercepted no such transmissions; we are on a peaceful mission to the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum!
Snuggly - Liar, liar your bum's on fire! Tell me where the plans are before I take back all those GADs
*AfroJoe chokes in Snuggly's grip and is thrown like a rag doll across the corridor*
Snuggly - Tear this ship apart, I want those plans! Bring me the crew, I want them alive!
*The Stafftroopers fall over themselves trying to carry out their orders*
Scene 2
*On the Sony - PS1 & PS2 forum, KR and RM18 emerge from the escape pod*
KR - You tricked me into going with you!
RM18 - Whistle
KR - Oh log off!
*Suddenly **Kerrang!** and several other newbies jump out from behind some rocks*
**Kerrang!** - Ticket-teh-wah!
*He blasts the droids with an energy weapon and they are moved onto their spam mobile*
Scene 3
*A posting farm, where Rakuga is sat, bored*
Rakuga - Oh I wish two droids carrying plans for the SR Empire's new weapon would come along so I can meet an old man and leave this gosh forsaken heck hole
*The spam mobile appears and the newbies get out*
**Kerrang!** - Two droids carrying plans for the SR Empire's new weapon here, you interested?
Rakuga - Take a hike, newbie!
**Kerrang!** - Are you sure? Only 10 galactic pounds
Rakuga - OK, but only to shut you up. My uncle needs some new droids... I'd better get them cleaned up
*Rakuga leads the two droids into his garage and begins tinkering with RM18. Suddenly a projection shoots out and Mystique is displayed*
Mystique - Rastabilly Skank, long ago you served my father in the Spam Wars, now I must ask for your help again. I fear that if you are watching this it is because my mission has failed. Plans vital for the rebellion are in this droid, please see it delivered safely to the Movies forum... Oh, and he may have an annoying friend with him called KR, I suppose you can bring him along too
KR - Hey!
Mystique - Help me, Rastabilly Skank, you're my only hope
*The recording ends, Rakuga looks stunned*
Rakuga - Rastabilly Skank? He's an old hermit who lives out in the spam sea... Come on, guys, it's time for an adventure!
Scene 3
Rakuga - And then she said you're her only hope.
*Rastabilly Skank strokes his beard*
Rastabilly Skank - Hmm... You must learn the ways of the sauce if you are to come with me to the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum.
Rakuga - The sauce?
Rastabilly Skank - No, the force
Rakuga - You said-
Rastabilly Skank - (exploding) I know what I said! Now... Are you coming or not?
Rakuga - The Movies, TV, Music and Books? That's too far away... It's not that I like the SR Empire, I hate it! But there's nothing I can do...
Rastabilly Skank - That's your head talking. Listen to your heart and it'll tell you to do the stupid things in life... Oh, and that reminds me, I have something for you. A life saver
Rakuga - Life saver?
Rastabilly Skank - No, you moron, a lightsabre
Rakuga - But you said-
Rastabilly Skank - (exploding) I know what I said! Ahem, now, press this button... here... point away from face and don't break it, I lost the receipt
*Rakuga holds out the lightsabre and ignites it*
Rakuga - Wow, that's purty
Rastabilly Skank - Come on, cretin, let's go
Scene 4
*Rastabilly Skank and Rakuga enter a pub*
Rastabilly Skank - You order something, I'm going to find a pilot for us
*Rakuga approaches the bar and taps the barman on the shoulder*
Tiltawhirl - Yeah?
Rakuga - I'd like a drink, what you got?
Tiltawhirl - You expect me to remember every single drink we serve here?
Rakuga - Well, um... how many do you have?
Tiltawhirl - One
Rakuga - O....K. And that is...?
Tiltawhirl - You expect me to remember that?!
Rakuga - Just forget it
*Shaneo comes up and nudges Rakuga with his elbow*
Rakuga - Hey, watch it, muppet
Shaneo - Muppet? You just watch yourself, I've been banned from SR six times!
Rakuga - I'll be careful...
Shaneo - You'll be dead! Dead banned that is!
Rastabilly Skank - This idiot isn't worth the trouble, come let me get you a drink... Bartender?
Tiltawhirl - Yeah?
Rastabilly Skank - What you got?
Tiltawhirl - You expect me to remem-
*Shaneo goes for Rakuga, but Rastabilly Skank whips out his lightsabre and slashes at him*
Rakuga - Um... it works better if you turn it on
Rastabilly Skank - (exploding) I know what I'm doing!
*he turns his lightsabre on, but Shaneo has already legged it*
Rastabilly Skank - I've found a ship that might be what we're looking for
*Wookiee Monster and Stryke are sat at a table, drinking whatever it is the pub serves*
Stryke - Wookie Monster here tells me you're looking for transport to the Movies forum...
Rastabilly Skank - Indeed, if it's a fast ship
Stryke - Fast ship? You've never heard of the Notable Falcon?
Rastabilly Skank - Should I have?
Stryke - It's fast enough for you old man. Now, it'll cost you 10,000 galactic pounds
Rakuga - 10,000???
Stryke - Yeah, 10,000
Rakuga - Oh, sorry, I thought you said something else
Rastabilly Skank - OK, we'll take it, but for only £10
*Rastabilly Skank waves his hand*
Stryke - (in a trance) Yes, only £10
Rakuga - What the-?
Rastabilly Skank - The force can have a wonderful effect on the weak minded... Watch this... Stryke, punch yourself
*He does so*
Rastabilly Skank - Harder! Harder! Ha ha, look at that, he's bleeding!
Rakuga - We'd better get going, some Stafftroopers just came in
Rastabilly Skank - OK... just one more! Kick yourself!
*Rakuga and Rastabilly Skank leave and Stryke snaps out of it*
Stryke - My face hurts... Right, Wookie Monster, get the ship ready, I'm gonna hang around here for a bit, maybe a bounty hunter will show up and almost kill me
*Wookie Monster leaves and Hercules comes in*
Hercules - Going somewhere, Stryke?
Stryke - No, not really... Actually I was hoping you'd show
Hercules - There's a bounty on your head SO high, everyone on the forums is looking for you
Stryke - Is that so?
Hercules - I'm lucky I found you first. Now, come with me, don't make me use force
Stryke - Yeah, right, like a spammer like you could ever make me do anything!
*Hercules pulls a gun*
Stryke - Yeah, as I was saying, let's go! Can't wait for you to collect that bounty on me!
*Wookie Monster appears and sighs, before blasting Hercules*
Stryke - Yeah, I was just about to do that myself, you know? I was throwing him off with the whole "I'm a coward" thing... Ahem, um... Let's go
Scene 5
*big_slow the spammer is loitering around the Notable Falcon*
big_slow - Stryke! Stryke!
Stryke - I'm right here, slowy
*Stryke slowly walks towards the huge spammer*
big_slow - Where's my money?
Stryke - Listen, here's the thing... I tried to call you Monday but-
big_slow - You have two days!
*big_slow and his group of bounty hunters leave just as Rastabilly Skank and Rakuga arrive with the two droids*
Stryke - Come on, hurry it up, this isn't the Love Boat you know!
*They all get in just as a group of Stafftroopers runs into the hanger*
Stafftrooper - Hey, you! Stop right there!
*Stryke draws his gun and starts blasting, missing every single Stafftrooper as he runs into the ship*
Stryke - Wookie, get us outta here!
*Wookie Monster ignites the ion engines and the Notable Falcon lifts up out of the hanger as the Stafftroopers continue shooting at it*
Stryke - I see 'em, I see 'em!
Rakuga - See what?
Stryke - Two Spam Destroyers, heading right for us! You guys in trouble or something?
Rastabilly Skank - Yeah, a few unpaid parking tickets
Stryke - Go strap yourselves in, I'm gonna make the jump to light speed!
*The Notable Falcon streaks away from the two Imperial ships*
Scene 6
*Aboard the Ban Bar*
Snuggly - Now, Princess Mystique, we will discuss the location of your rebel base
*Snuggly leaves the cell and Loki walks up*
Loki - Any luck?
Snuggly - She's more resistant to our methods than I originally thought, even forcing her to watch Barney And Friends does nothing
Loki - That's a little harsh isn't it? I think we may need an alternative plan of getting her to talk. Set your course for the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum.
*Mystique is brought before Loki and Darth Snuggly*
Mystique - Loki? Where's Hybrid, I wanna know if he's fit or not!
Loki - Charming to the last. You had no idea how hard I found it signing the order to terminate your SR membership
Mystique - It's alright, I never bought anything anyway
Loki - Since you are unwilling to help us, I have decided to use this station's awesome power on something you hold dear to your heart... the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum
Mystique - Meh, I hardly go there anyway
Loki - Ban it. Ban the whole forum
*The Ban Bar warms up as it circles the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum. A huge green blast emits from the Ban Bar's primary weapon and the entire forum goes grey*
Mystique - You monster! There were regulars in there!
Loki - You would prefer another target, a military target, then name the forum!
Mystique - They're on the... They're on the Life, The Universe and Everything forum
Loki - OK, let's go. I'm driving!
Snuggly - I call shotgun!
Scene 7
*Aboard the Notable Falcon*
Rastabilly Skank - Feel the force flowing through you!
*Rakuga is wildly swinging his lightsabre around*
Stryke - Hey, watch it! I just finished decorating this thing! Hey, look you could've broken that!
*Rastabilly Skank doubles over in pain*
Rakuga - Are you alright?
Rastabilly Skank - Do I look alright you moron? I feel a great disturbance in the force
Rakuga - Oh, sorry, that was me
Rastabilly Skank - No not you... Oh God that stinks! Anyway, I mean I feel like dozens of SR users all screamed out at once, then were suddenly silenced... I feel something terrible has happened
Stryke - Hey, Wookie Monster, stop beating KR at Teken Tag Tournament and come and help me. We're coming up on the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum
*They all enter the cockpit*
Stryke - OK, stand by I'm cutting the sub-light engines
*The patterns stop and they're back in normal space, being showered with posts*
Rakuga - What the heck?
Stryke - Looks like someone was banned and all their posts are just floating around
Rakuga - Where's the Movies, TV, Music and Books forum?
Stryke - The position's correct, it's just not here
Rakuga - What do you mean?
Rastabilly Skank - Banned, by the SR Empire
Stryke - That's stupid, it would take more SR staff than I've ever seen to ban an entire forum
Rakuga - What's that?
Stryke - It's another ship
Rastabilly Skank - It's a Special Reserve ship
Stryke - There aren't any shops around here, where'd it come from?
Rakuga - Must have gotten lost
Rastabilly Skank - No, it's a short range Special Reserve delivery ship
Stryke - Late as usual
*Everyone looks nervous*
Stryke - Hey, someone had to say it! OK, we'll take care of him before he tells anyone we're here... Wookie Monster, jam his transmissions. Look, he's heading for that small moon
Rastabilly Skank - That's no moon... That's an inflatable turkey
Stryke - Um, no, actually I think it's a space station. I'm turning around, let's get the heck outta here!
Rakuga - Why are we still moving towards it?
Stryke - We're caught in a tractor beam! Darn it! I knew I should've bought those anti-tractor beam emitters! Only £5 but Wookie Monster here wanted some fancy shampoo!
*The Notable Falcon is dragged towards the Ban Bar, into one of the hangers. Several Stafftroopers appear and head inside the ship*
Snuggly - What's going on?
Stafftrooper - It must be a decoy, sir, several of the escape pods have been launched
Snuggly - Oh come on! They're obviously hiding in the ship! Think about it, numbskull! I want a scanning party in there
Stafftrooper - Yes, sir! Get me a scanning crew in here on the double! I want every part of that ship searched!
Snuggly - I sense something... Something I have not sensed since... Oh my God that stinks!
*Darth Snuggly rushes off, holding his breathing mask*
*On the Notable Falcon, the gang emerge from a cupboard*
Rakuga - Good job you have these cupboards
Stryke - Yeah I have them for me biscuits... This is as stupid as a newbie injected with a stupid drug, even if I could take off we'd never get past that tractor beam
Rastabilly Skank - Leave that to me
*The gang sneak into a control room*
Rastabilly Skank - Plug into the console, they're stupid enough to let any old idiot log on and get to the entire SR network
*RM18 plugs himself into the terminal and starts bringing up information on the screen*
Rastabilly Skank - Aha, there it is... You lot wait here, don't wander off because I can't be bothered to search for you later on
Rakuga - But I want to go with you
Rastabilly Skank - *exploding* I know what I'm doing! Ahem, just wait here... I'll be back! Ha ha, I always wanted to say that
*He leaves just as RM18 starts beeping*
Rakuga - What's wrong?
KR - He says he's found the princess!
Rakuga - She's here?!
Stryke - Princess? What's going on here?
Rakuga - She's the one in the message! We've gotta save her!
Stryke - Is she fit?
Rakuga - Nobody knows, but it's one way of finding out!
Stryke - OK, let's do this thing. Wookie Monster, stick these handcuffs on... No, we're not playing cops and robbers, look, this is what we're gonna do...
Scene 8
*Stryke and Rakuga, dressed in SR uniforms, are walking along the corridors of the Ban Bar with Wookie Monster*
Stryke - This isn't gonna work!
Rakuga - Why didn't you say so befo- Wait, this is your plan!
Stryke - Oh... well then of course it'll work, stop being so negative!
*They walk into the detention area*
Hybrid Valves - Where are you taking this... thing?
Stryke - Hey, who you callin' a-
*Rakuga coughs*
Stryke - Oh, this, um, prisoner transfer from Beverly Hills 91210
Hybrid Valves - I wasn't notified, I'll have to clear it
*Wookie Monster breaks free from his handcuffs*
Hybrid Valves - Argh! A fight! I'm out of here!
*The SR staff clear the room and Stryke runs up to the computer*
Stryke - Cell 3, you go get her
*Rakuga runs down the corridor and pushes the button*
Rakuga - Oh, sorry, wrong cell
*He tries the next one*
Mystique - Aren't you a little ugly for a staff member?
Rakuga - I'm Rakuga, I'm here to rescue you! I'm here with Rastabilly Skank and RM18! Oh... and KR
Mystique - Rastabilly? Where is he?
Rakuga - Wandering around somewhere, probably lost... come on!
*Stryke and Wookie Monster have run down the corridor too*
Stryke - Sorry, I looked the door by accident, looks like we're not getting out that way!
Mystique - This is some rescue, you managed to log in, you got a way of logging out?
Rakuga - He's the brains, sweetheart! Oh, wait... No, I am
Rakuga - Heeey!
Mystique - Someone has to get us out of here, I'm missing Eastenders!
*She takes Stryke's gun and blasts a hole in a vent*
Mystique - Oh, sorry, wrong vent
*She tries the next one*
Mystique - Into the rubbish chute, fun boy
Stryke - What's a fu-
*She kicks him down the hole*
Rakuga - Weeeeeeeeee!
*He jumps down and is followed by Mystique and Wookie Monster*
*They all land is a pile of spam*
Stryke - Urgh... I hate spam. Come on, let's get the heck outta here!
Rakuga - OK, I'll just contact KR and tell him to open the door
Stryke - Pft, we don't need to do that!
*He shoots the door and it opens*
Mystique - Cocky son of a-
*They all exit*
Scene 9
*Rastabilly Skank is at the tractor beam controls*
Rastabilly Skank - OK... two buttons... OFF and ALARM... Hmmm... Well, the force is telling me to push this one
*The alarms go off*
Rastabilly Skank - Argh! Who designs these things?! Bill Gates?
*He presses OFF and runs off, only to bump into Darth Snuggly*
Snuggly - So, we meet again, old man
Rastabilly Skank = Who you calling old? Oh, wait...
Snuggly - When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master
Rastabilly Skank - Only a master of... Hang on
*He pulls out a "Witty One Liners" book and flicks through for a few seconds*
Rastabilly Skank - Ah, here we go. Only a master of evil, Snuggers
*Mr Snuggly ignites his lightsabre*
Rastabilly Skank - Two can play at that game! Now... two buttons... one says ON, the other says SELF DESTRUCT... Well, the force is telling me to push this one...
Scene 10
*The gang enter the hangar with the Notable Falcon in*
Stryke - Looks OK, if we can get to it
Mystique - You came in that thing? You're stupider than I thought
Rakuga - KR, do you read me? Where are you?
KR - Right behind you, sir
Rakuga - OK, meet us at the ship
KR - Um... yes, sir
*They start running towards the ship, but Rakuga spots Rastabilly Skank and Darth Snuggly*
Rastabilly Skank - Argh! Help me!
Rakuga - Rastabilly Skank?
Rastabilly Skank - He's tryin' to KILL me!
*Rastabilly Skank is running away from Snuggly as he swings his lightsabre at his heels*
Rastabilly Skank - Hey, watch it, these robes are nearly new!
Snuggly - Come 'ere!
Rastabilly Skank - No, I don't want to!
Snuggly - I said come here!
*He leaps at Rastabilly Skank and tackles him down to the floor*
Snuggly - I have you now
Rastabilly Skank - Argh! If only I hadn't given my other lightsabre to that fool Rakuga!
*Snuggly raises his weapon above his head, and brings it down, cutting Rastabilly Skank in half*
Rakuga - Noooooooooo!
Stryke - Come on, kid! Get inside, I left the engine running and we're nearly out of petrol!
*They all run up the ramp into the ship*
Stryke - I hope the old man got the tractor beam out of commission or this is gonna be a real short trip! OK hit it! ...No, not the punch bag, Wookie Monster... the GO button? Knew it was a mistake letting him have that thing in here...
*The ship shoots out of the Ban Bar*
*Meanwhile, inside*
Loki - Hey, Snuggly
*He starts pressing the buttons on Darth Snuggly's chest. A cup of coffee rolls out*
Loki - Cheers... Now, are you sure the tracking device is placed onboard their ship? I'm not just asking to help the audience with the plot, I really mean it!
Snuggly - Yeah, yeah, I got it... Jeez!
Loki - I'm taking an awful risk here
Scene 11
*On the Web Design, PC, Internet & Freeola forum*
Grix Thraves - You're safe! When we heard about the Movies forum... we feared the worst
Mystique - Yeah, well, I hardly ever go there anyway... Now, the plans for the Ban Bar are in this droid, have a look will you? We need to send as many of our pilots up to die in a vein attempt of destroying it as soon as possible!
Rakuga - So, you found out if Mystique was fit or not and you're just gonna leave?
Stryke - That's right. I can sell the story to the papers and pay off my debts
Rakuga - Well take care of yourself, Stryke, I guess that's what you're best at!
Stryke - Yep
*Wookie Monster nudges him*
Stryke - Oh, yeah, right... Um, may the force be with you... or something
*Later on*
Ant - The target is only two metres wide, so you'll have to crash your ship directly into it
*Someone whispers in his ear*
Ant - Oh, I'm being told we're actually giving you weapons this time, so you don't actually need to crash your ship... Unless you want to, of course. Now, where was I? Ah, yes, you have to fly down this narrow passage, where you and the ones you hold dearest to you will all be shot to pieces by enemy fire. Any questions?
Everyone - Nope, sounds good to me
Ant - Then man your ships... And may the force be with me
*Someone whispers in his ear*
Ant - You, I mean you!
Rakuga - Aren't you coming?
Ant - What are you, crazy?
*The pilots rush to their ships*
Mystique - Good luck, Rakuga... Oh, and if you damage this ship, it's coming out of your wages!
*The rebel ships start taking off one by one and head into space*
Goatboy - This is Red leader, all wings report in
Meka Dragon - Red 2 standing by
FantasyMeister - Red 4 standing by
Snipe - Red 3 standing by
Rakuga - Red 5 standing by
Ice Blaster - Red 7 standing by
Microchips - Red 6 standing by
Goatboy - Can't you guys count? OK, we're going in
Snipe - Look @ the size of that thing!
Goatboy - Cut the text talk, Red 3! Lock s-foils in attack position
*Aboard the Ban Bar*
Joe King - We count 7 rebel ships, Lord Snuggly
Snuggly - Lord Snuggly? I like the sound of that! Ahem, OK, get those big guns we have on this place working, and, well I suppose we can send out some ships too
Loki - How long until we can ban their forum?
Snuggly - Another 5 minutes... This will be a glorious day for Special Reserve, it saw the end of Rastabilly Skank, it will soon see the end of the rebellion... and hopefully You've Been Framed too
*In space around the Ban Bar, the rebel ships are dog fighting with the SR staff*
Goatboy - Watch out, Red 4, you've picked one up!
FantasyMeister - Really? Is she fit?
Goatboy - No you idiot, an enemy ship! Eject!
FantasyMeister - OK, two buttons... one says EJECT, the other KAMIKAZE DIVE... well, the force is telling me to press this one...
*His ship veers down towards the Ban Bar's metal surface and explodes*
Goatboy - Urgh, I'm working with amateurs here!
Snipe - Ah ha! Take that!
Goatboy - Nice one, Snipe, you just shot down Ice Blaster
Snipe - Oops, my bad
Goatboy - OK, I'm going in, Snipe, Meka Dragon, you cover me
Snipe - Rodger!
*They start their journey down the trench, being bombarded by enemy fire. Meka Dragon is winging by a shot and starts spiralling out of control*
Meka Dragon - Arrrrghhh! Tell my friends I love them!
Goatboy - What friends?
*His ship smashes into the wall of the trench*
Goatboy - Oh no! Enemy ships!
Snuggly - I'll take the leader, cover me
*Snuggly starts blasting at Goatboy's ship*
Goatboy - Darn it! I knew I should've forked out that £5 for those back shields!
*He blows up*
Snipe - Argh! im left on own, cu!
*He crashes his ship into one of the cannons*
Rakuga - Microchips, it's up to us!
Microchips - Us? Us nothing, I'm out of here!
*He turns on his hyperdrive and shoots off into space*
Rakuga - Darn it! Where's Rastabilly Skank when I need him!
Rastabilly Skank - I'm right here, my son... Hey, have you farted?!
Rakuga - What can I do? I'm all alone and I've got to destroy this entire space station!
Rastabilly Skank - Use the forks
Rakuga - The forks?
Rastabilly Skank - No, the force you idiot! OK, here's what you do... You restart windows and-
Rakuga - Darn it! This isn't a PC problem! This thing is about to ban an entire forum! Help me out a little here!
Rastabilly Skank - OK, OK, calm down...
Rakuga - Well?!
Rastabilly Skank - I'm thinking, I'm thinking! Jeez, give me a break! The mind's not what it once was, being that I'm dead and all... OK, got it, fly your ship down the canyon, shoot at the target, and get out before the whole thing goes boom
Rakuga - Gee... thanks
Rastabilly Skank - OK, I've got to go, I promised Your Honour I'd help him with his homework
*Darth Snuggly's ship appears behind Rakuga's as he heads into the trench*
Rakuga - Here goes nothing... And I mean nothing! I thought they were giving us guns!
*Ant comes onto the intercom*
Ant - Ah, yes... sorry, but budget cuts and all... you know how it is... Mystique needed a new hairdryer
Rakuga - What the? Arrrgh! What the heck am I meant to do!
Ant - Well, you could-
Rakuga - Apart from crashing my ship!
Ant - Well, you got me! Anyway, I've already left the forum so it doesn't bother me if you don't succeed
*Darth Snuggly starts firing at Rakuga's tail*
Rakuga - My ship is on fire! My ship is on fire! How could things be any worse?!
Stryke - Ye haw!
Rakuga - I had to open my mouth, didn't I?
Stryke - We're here to save you kid!
Rakuga - No thanks, I can take care of myself
*Mr Snuggly fires again, but Rakuga veers right and the laser blasts shoot right past him and into the target*
Rakuga - Woo hoo!
Snuggly - Oops
*He whistles as he turns his ship around*
*A chain reaction starts and the whole space station starts to explode*
Stryke - Let's get the heck out of here! We're missing Wish You Were Here!
*The Notable Falcon and Rakuga head off back towards the Web Design, PC, Internet & Freeola forum as the Ban Bar is engulfed in a huge explosion*
Stryke - Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!
Rakuga - But I didn't do- Ah, yes, it WAS great, wasn't it?
Scene 12
*A huge gathering of notables and regulars is waiting in a room. The doors open and Stryke, Rakuga and Wookie Monster all enter*
Stryke - *as he's walking past everyone* Hey, how you doin'?
*They reach the top of the room where Mystique is waiting*
Mystique - OK, we've all got better things to do, so I hereby give you these medals for saving me, and the SR forums as we know them... Um... thanks
*They turn and there's scattered applause*
Stryke - Thank you! Thank you!
THE END
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I'm currently too tired to read all of this so I am taping it on VHS. It's great having video out on my 3d card. tee hee hee. Looks impressive good job Mojojojo.
Brilliant!
Best thing I've read all week.
I'll say the same as Craw did.
;-)
Now I'm off to read the sequel.
Best thing I've read all week.
I'll say the same as Craw did.
;-)
Now I'm off to read the sequel.
Excellent stuff again MoJoJoJo!
I'll have to have a look at the sequel soon! :D
I'll have to have a look at the sequel soon! :D
Well, Jive, you'll be glad to hear I've just posted the sequel, have a deaks at it
Brilliant, best post I've read for ages!
Just read the whole lot in one go, phew but worth it ;D
Just read the whole lot in one go, phew but worth it ;D
Cheers all
It's split into scenes so you can read a bit, remember where you got up to, then come back and read some more later
It's split into scenes so you can read a bit, remember where you got up to, then come back and read some more later
Haven't read all of it, but I get to be Han Solo. Excellent.
Craw wrote:
> I only which my knob was as long as this story.
Lol.
> I only which my knob was as long as this story.
Lol.
Or wish.
Either way its damn long.
Either way its damn long.
I only which my knob was as long as this story.
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