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Source: jibberjabba.com
There has long been rumour ever since the incident with the Xmas card, that Rare and Nintendo are soon to part ways.
With the 5 year contract coming to an end, both parties are seated across the table discussing who will make the first move.
It is a very large table, with several other company spokesman sitting there. Possibly drinking coffee and eating pistachio nuts.
Nintendo have gone on record as saying “We would very much like to continue our history with Rare, as they have been the only company that have ever made games that are even remotely playable for us. If they leave, it’s like smashing our testicles with a hammer.”
Rare responded by saying “Although Rare & Nintendo have enjoyed a prosperous history, we feel the time has come to branch out and make games for other platforms. Ones for grown ups”.
Nintendo were seen to clap their hands over their ears and shout “Me love you long time. Wow baby, me so horny.”
Also present at this nice table (and we now understand that mini-melton mowbrey pork-pies were consumed), were Sony and Microsoft.
Sony expressed an interest in Rare developing titles for their console:
“Certainly, the notion that a former prize Nintendo developer would want to stretch out is good news for us. HAHAHAHAHAHA, in your face Shigsy!”
Mr Miyamoto hung his head and sobbed like a girl.
Microsoft also announced their intention to use Rare for several titles. “With Halo as a massive success, and the constant comparisons to Perfect Dark by screaming Ninty mooks, we would like to port Perfect Dark across and prove just how shoddy that game actually is. We can afford to take a bath on this project, because we have all the money in the world. Mwahaha”
Around this time, coyotes cried in the distance and a baby mewled for it’s mother.
Nintendo has a long history with Rare, in fact the only decent games available for the N64 were from Rare. But having said that, said some bloke, even those games were sub-standard.
“Don’t get me started on Lylat Wars” laughed a Sony CEO, “That game blew the donkey eh?”
Microsoft nodded enthusiastically “For sure. An updated Space Harrier that stank like dog-ass”
Rare chuckled into it’s fist and stifled a giggle, “Ok, we admit that game was a joke. We bashed it out one lunchtime and charged people £60 for it. Man, we made like bandits on that one”.
Rare explained why they were parting with Nintendo:
“We had enough of having to make the sorts of games that Nintendo like. For example, we had one that took 3 years to make. It was called ‘Bonobo Party Hard’, but they put the mokkers on it as soon as they saw the beta-build. To be honest, we’re fed up with their testing methods for what games they think will sell.”
When pressed on this testing method, Rare explained:
“Ah what the hell, it’s not like it matters now is it? Ok, we create a game. We send it to them, and they bring out their chief tester. The tester is an oversized infant called Nigel, with massive eyes and yellow spikey hair. He blunders about his pen, they let him gum the controller for a while and if he fouls himself and drops the controller before rummaging in his nappy for 10 minutes, they deem it suitable.”
Rare showcased Nigel’s artwork for Perfect Dark 2:
http://www.friarswood.org.uk/images/Logos/Luke_dancing.JPG
“This is what he wants as the final end-of-level boss and we’ve had enough”
So does this spell the end for Nintendo with Rare disappearing over the horizon like The Chief at the end of Cuckoo’s Nest?
In a word, yes.
The launch titles for the much-vaunted (by spazzies) Gamecube have been a Star Wars one (we wont mention Shadows of The Empire on N64) and another tired outing for the fat, and possibly gay, plumber and his “Hetero-lifemate” Luigi.
Without Rare, Nintendo could well sink like a fat bloke tied to an anchor.
So where does this leave Nintendo?
Up a certain creek without a paddle, that’s for certain.
And if they did have a paddle, it would be a fluffy one made of pixie dust and mushrooms.
There has long been rumour ever since the incident with the Xmas card, that Rare and Nintendo are soon to part ways.
With the 5 year contract coming to an end, both parties are seated across the table discussing who will make the first move.
It is a very large table, with several other company spokesman sitting there. Possibly drinking coffee and eating pistachio nuts.
Nintendo have gone on record as saying “We would very much like to continue our history with Rare, as they have been the only company that have ever made games that are even remotely playable for us. If they leave, it’s like smashing our testicles with a hammer.”
Rare responded by saying “Although Rare & Nintendo have enjoyed a prosperous history, we feel the time has come to branch out and make games for other platforms. Ones for grown ups”.
Nintendo were seen to clap their hands over their ears and shout “Me love you long time. Wow baby, me so horny.”
Also present at this nice table (and we now understand that mini-melton mowbrey pork-pies were consumed), were Sony and Microsoft.
Sony expressed an interest in Rare developing titles for their console:
“Certainly, the notion that a former prize Nintendo developer would want to stretch out is good news for us. HAHAHAHAHAHA, in your face Shigsy!”
Mr Miyamoto hung his head and sobbed like a girl.
Microsoft also announced their intention to use Rare for several titles. “With Halo as a massive success, and the constant comparisons to Perfect Dark by screaming Ninty mooks, we would like to port Perfect Dark across and prove just how shoddy that game actually is. We can afford to take a bath on this project, because we have all the money in the world. Mwahaha”
Around this time, coyotes cried in the distance and a baby mewled for it’s mother.
Nintendo has a long history with Rare, in fact the only decent games available for the N64 were from Rare. But having said that, said some bloke, even those games were sub-standard.
“Don’t get me started on Lylat Wars” laughed a Sony CEO, “That game blew the donkey eh?”
Microsoft nodded enthusiastically “For sure. An updated Space Harrier that stank like dog-ass”
Rare chuckled into it’s fist and stifled a giggle, “Ok, we admit that game was a joke. We bashed it out one lunchtime and charged people £60 for it. Man, we made like bandits on that one”.
Rare explained why they were parting with Nintendo:
“We had enough of having to make the sorts of games that Nintendo like. For example, we had one that took 3 years to make. It was called ‘Bonobo Party Hard’, but they put the mokkers on it as soon as they saw the beta-build. To be honest, we’re fed up with their testing methods for what games they think will sell.”
When pressed on this testing method, Rare explained:
“Ah what the hell, it’s not like it matters now is it? Ok, we create a game. We send it to them, and they bring out their chief tester. The tester is an oversized infant called Nigel, with massive eyes and yellow spikey hair. He blunders about his pen, they let him gum the controller for a while and if he fouls himself and drops the controller before rummaging in his nappy for 10 minutes, they deem it suitable.”
Rare showcased Nigel’s artwork for Perfect Dark 2:
http://www.friarswood.org.uk/images/Logos/Luke_dancing.JPG
“This is what he wants as the final end-of-level boss and we’ve had enough”
So does this spell the end for Nintendo with Rare disappearing over the horizon like The Chief at the end of Cuckoo’s Nest?
In a word, yes.
The launch titles for the much-vaunted (by spazzies) Gamecube have been a Star Wars one (we wont mention Shadows of The Empire on N64) and another tired outing for the fat, and possibly gay, plumber and his “Hetero-lifemate” Luigi.
Without Rare, Nintendo could well sink like a fat bloke tied to an anchor.
So where does this leave Nintendo?
Up a certain creek without a paddle, that’s for certain.
And if they did have a paddle, it would be a fluffy one made of pixie dust and mushrooms.
Nice. :0)
The N64's strong point was multiplayer. There were some great single player stuff, like Zelda, but none of it compares to Skies of Arcadia. Best game ever. Just don't get too stressed about all the battles.
The N64's strong point was multiplayer. There were some great single player stuff, like Zelda, but none of it compares to Skies of Arcadia. Best game ever. Just don't get too stressed about all the battles.
Meka Dragon wrote:
> Very funny, but the pedantic part of me insists on telling you that it
> was Nintendo themselves that developed the wonderful Lylat Wars,
> they've handed the license over to Rare for StarFox Adventures.
--
Well I guess that makes the entire post invalid eh?
Fancy that, me getting facts wrong about THE WORST GAME IN THE HISTORY OF ANY UNIVERSE
God I hate that game.
> Very funny, but the pedantic part of me insists on telling you that it
> was Nintendo themselves that developed the wonderful Lylat Wars,
> they've handed the license over to Rare for StarFox Adventures.
--
Well I guess that makes the entire post invalid eh?
Fancy that, me getting facts wrong about THE WORST GAME IN THE HISTORY OF ANY UNIVERSE
God I hate that game.
Very funny, but the pedantic part of me insists on telling you that it was Nintendo themselves that developed the wonderful Lylat Wars, they've handed the license over to Rare for StarFox Adventures.
Goatboy wrote:
> Source: jibberjabba.com
--
That's an actual site?
damn.
Ok,I got it from gregevigansbeard.com then.
> Source: jibberjabba.com
--
That's an actual site?
damn.
Ok,I got it from gregevigansbeard.com then.
Source: jibberjabba.com
There has long been rumour ever since the incident with the Xmas card, that Rare and Nintendo are soon to part ways.
With the 5 year contract coming to an end, both parties are seated across the table discussing who will make the first move.
It is a very large table, with several other company spokesman sitting there. Possibly drinking coffee and eating pistachio nuts.
Nintendo have gone on record as saying “We would very much like to continue our history with Rare, as they have been the only company that have ever made games that are even remotely playable for us. If they leave, it’s like smashing our testicles with a hammer.”
Rare responded by saying “Although Rare & Nintendo have enjoyed a prosperous history, we feel the time has come to branch out and make games for other platforms. Ones for grown ups”.
Nintendo were seen to clap their hands over their ears and shout “Me love you long time. Wow baby, me so horny.”
Also present at this nice table (and we now understand that mini-melton mowbrey pork-pies were consumed), were Sony and Microsoft.
Sony expressed an interest in Rare developing titles for their console:
“Certainly, the notion that a former prize Nintendo developer would want to stretch out is good news for us. HAHAHAHAHAHA, in your face Shigsy!”
Mr Miyamoto hung his head and sobbed like a girl.
Microsoft also announced their intention to use Rare for several titles. “With Halo as a massive success, and the constant comparisons to Perfect Dark by screaming Ninty mooks, we would like to port Perfect Dark across and prove just how shoddy that game actually is. We can afford to take a bath on this project, because we have all the money in the world. Mwahaha”
Around this time, coyotes cried in the distance and a baby mewled for it’s mother.
Nintendo has a long history with Rare, in fact the only decent games available for the N64 were from Rare. But having said that, said some bloke, even those games were sub-standard.
“Don’t get me started on Lylat Wars” laughed a Sony CEO, “That game blew the donkey eh?”
Microsoft nodded enthusiastically “For sure. An updated Space Harrier that stank like dog-ass”
Rare chuckled into it’s fist and stifled a giggle, “Ok, we admit that game was a joke. We bashed it out one lunchtime and charged people £60 for it. Man, we made like bandits on that one”.
Rare explained why they were parting with Nintendo:
“We had enough of having to make the sorts of games that Nintendo like. For example, we had one that took 3 years to make. It was called ‘Bonobo Party Hard’, but they put the mokkers on it as soon as they saw the beta-build. To be honest, we’re fed up with their testing methods for what games they think will sell.”
When pressed on this testing method, Rare explained:
“Ah what the hell, it’s not like it matters now is it? Ok, we create a game. We send it to them, and they bring out their chief tester. The tester is an oversized infant called Nigel, with massive eyes and yellow spikey hair. He blunders about his pen, they let him gum the controller for a while and if he fouls himself and drops the controller before rummaging in his nappy for 10 minutes, they deem it suitable.”
Rare showcased Nigel’s artwork for Perfect Dark 2:
http://www.friarswood.org.uk/images/Logos/Luke_dancing.JPG
“This is what he wants as the final end-of-level boss and we’ve had enough”
So does this spell the end for Nintendo with Rare disappearing over the horizon like The Chief at the end of Cuckoo’s Nest?
In a word, yes.
The launch titles for the much-vaunted (by spazzies) Gamecube have been a Star Wars one (we wont mention Shadows of The Empire on N64) and another tired outing for the fat, and possibly gay, plumber and his “Hetero-lifemate” Luigi.
Without Rare, Nintendo could well sink like a fat bloke tied to an anchor.
So where does this leave Nintendo?
Up a certain creek without a paddle, that’s for certain.
And if they did have a paddle, it would be a fluffy one made of pixie dust and mushrooms.
There has long been rumour ever since the incident with the Xmas card, that Rare and Nintendo are soon to part ways.
With the 5 year contract coming to an end, both parties are seated across the table discussing who will make the first move.
It is a very large table, with several other company spokesman sitting there. Possibly drinking coffee and eating pistachio nuts.
Nintendo have gone on record as saying “We would very much like to continue our history with Rare, as they have been the only company that have ever made games that are even remotely playable for us. If they leave, it’s like smashing our testicles with a hammer.”
Rare responded by saying “Although Rare & Nintendo have enjoyed a prosperous history, we feel the time has come to branch out and make games for other platforms. Ones for grown ups”.
Nintendo were seen to clap their hands over their ears and shout “Me love you long time. Wow baby, me so horny.”
Also present at this nice table (and we now understand that mini-melton mowbrey pork-pies were consumed), were Sony and Microsoft.
Sony expressed an interest in Rare developing titles for their console:
“Certainly, the notion that a former prize Nintendo developer would want to stretch out is good news for us. HAHAHAHAHAHA, in your face Shigsy!”
Mr Miyamoto hung his head and sobbed like a girl.
Microsoft also announced their intention to use Rare for several titles. “With Halo as a massive success, and the constant comparisons to Perfect Dark by screaming Ninty mooks, we would like to port Perfect Dark across and prove just how shoddy that game actually is. We can afford to take a bath on this project, because we have all the money in the world. Mwahaha”
Around this time, coyotes cried in the distance and a baby mewled for it’s mother.
Nintendo has a long history with Rare, in fact the only decent games available for the N64 were from Rare. But having said that, said some bloke, even those games were sub-standard.
“Don’t get me started on Lylat Wars” laughed a Sony CEO, “That game blew the donkey eh?”
Microsoft nodded enthusiastically “For sure. An updated Space Harrier that stank like dog-ass”
Rare chuckled into it’s fist and stifled a giggle, “Ok, we admit that game was a joke. We bashed it out one lunchtime and charged people £60 for it. Man, we made like bandits on that one”.
Rare explained why they were parting with Nintendo:
“We had enough of having to make the sorts of games that Nintendo like. For example, we had one that took 3 years to make. It was called ‘Bonobo Party Hard’, but they put the mokkers on it as soon as they saw the beta-build. To be honest, we’re fed up with their testing methods for what games they think will sell.”
When pressed on this testing method, Rare explained:
“Ah what the hell, it’s not like it matters now is it? Ok, we create a game. We send it to them, and they bring out their chief tester. The tester is an oversized infant called Nigel, with massive eyes and yellow spikey hair. He blunders about his pen, they let him gum the controller for a while and if he fouls himself and drops the controller before rummaging in his nappy for 10 minutes, they deem it suitable.”
Rare showcased Nigel’s artwork for Perfect Dark 2:
http://www.friarswood.org.uk/images/Logos/Luke_dancing.JPG
“This is what he wants as the final end-of-level boss and we’ve had enough”
So does this spell the end for Nintendo with Rare disappearing over the horizon like The Chief at the end of Cuckoo’s Nest?
In a word, yes.
The launch titles for the much-vaunted (by spazzies) Gamecube have been a Star Wars one (we wont mention Shadows of The Empire on N64) and another tired outing for the fat, and possibly gay, plumber and his “Hetero-lifemate” Luigi.
Without Rare, Nintendo could well sink like a fat bloke tied to an anchor.
So where does this leave Nintendo?
Up a certain creek without a paddle, that’s for certain.
And if they did have a paddle, it would be a fluffy one made of pixie dust and mushrooms.