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"Alcohol Warnings..."

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Mon 15/04/02 at 16:19
Regular
Posts: 787
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your Friends over
and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your *ss kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible or worse bulletproof.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe Real
gode.



I cant give credit to the writer as I recieved it in an email. But I thought they were pretty funny..
Mon 15/04/02 at 17:01
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Bwahahahaha

I especially liked

"WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people."

As that's what happens to everyone I know when they go out drinking!

And the laughing with you thing brought a smile to my face
Mon 15/04/02 at 16:19
Regular
"Sanity is for loser"
Posts: 1,647
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your Friends over
and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your *ss kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible or worse bulletproof.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe Real
gode.



I cant give credit to the writer as I recieved it in an email. But I thought they were pretty funny..

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