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I wrote this at about 12 last night, in an effort to get to sleep. Here it is, typed up...
---
I can see the reflection of my clock in the window.
It's the wrong way around. All back to front - hands going the wrong direction, numbers backward.
When I look in the mirror, I feel like my clock. Nothing like what I imagine myself to be. I'm all the wrong way round.
I have this fear that, if you were to film me for an entire day and show me the results, I would be the exact opposite to what I want to be.
I want to be a person who is, in general, 'good'. I want to be an example of how people should live thier lives. I want to care about things, not to be apathetic. I want to be anti-globalisation, anti-capitalist, anti-slavery. I want not to tell others how to live thier lives, merely recomend a decent way of living.
But I think that, if you filmed me for a day, I would not be any of this.
I am a loudmouth. Ant once described someone as 'one of those people who take the urine out of people because they don't know them' - thats me, pretty much. Exactly the opposite to what I want to be.
If I met myself, I'd hate me. The things that I hate most about others - roll them all together, and you have me.
In the reflection of the window, I see myself, and I'm not the wise old man that I think I am. I'm just a kid scraed shpitless of the world that cannot practice what he preaches.
---
I can see the reflection of my clock in the window.
It's the wrong way around. All back to front - hands going the wrong direction, numbers backward.
When I look in the mirror, I feel like my clock. Nothing like what I imagine myself to be. I'm all the wrong way round.
I have this fear that, if you were to film me for an entire day and show me the results, I would be the exact opposite to what I want to be.
I want to be a person who is, in general, 'good'. I want to be an example of how people should live thier lives. I want to care about things, not to be apathetic. I want to be anti-globalisation, anti-capitalist, anti-slavery. I want not to tell others how to live thier lives, merely recomend a decent way of living.
But I think that, if you filmed me for a day, I would not be any of this.
I am a loudmouth. Ant once described someone as 'one of those people who take the urine out of people because they don't know them' - thats me, pretty much. Exactly the opposite to what I want to be.
If I met myself, I'd hate me. The things that I hate most about others - roll them all together, and you have me.
In the reflection of the window, I see myself, and I'm not the wise old man that I think I am. I'm just a kid scraed shpitless of the world that cannot practice what he preaches.
Maturity comes with that though. The kids that mature the fastest are:
1) Ones that have big shocks to the system, and really do have to mature quick to survive.
2) Those that don't care.
The rest of them end up trying to put little defenses up, trying their best, worrying themselves trying to keep in with the crowds, believing they're mature. Bunch of fools. :0)
Just live life without worries. Maturity is a way of thinking, not acting. Stopping yourself from bullying people won't excatly make you mature... but hopefully from doing it, the bullying part won't even enter your head, and you'll only be worried for that kid, instead of joining in with a crowd and putting that person down, or whatever.
It's really just a matter of time, don't worry a hell of a lot about it... but it's only natural to do so. In other words, do what the hell you like, because that way you'll learn better. :0D
1) Ones that have big shocks to the system, and really do have to mature quick to survive.
2) Those that don't care.
The rest of them end up trying to put little defenses up, trying their best, worrying themselves trying to keep in with the crowds, believing they're mature. Bunch of fools. :0)
Just live life without worries. Maturity is a way of thinking, not acting. Stopping yourself from bullying people won't excatly make you mature... but hopefully from doing it, the bullying part won't even enter your head, and you'll only be worried for that kid, instead of joining in with a crowd and putting that person down, or whatever.
It's really just a matter of time, don't worry a hell of a lot about it... but it's only natural to do so. In other words, do what the hell you like, because that way you'll learn better. :0D
I wrote this at about 12 last night, in an effort to get to sleep. Here it is, typed up...
---
I can see the reflection of my clock in the window.
It's the wrong way around. All back to front - hands going the wrong direction, numbers backward.
When I look in the mirror, I feel like my clock. Nothing like what I imagine myself to be. I'm all the wrong way round.
I have this fear that, if you were to film me for an entire day and show me the results, I would be the exact opposite to what I want to be.
I want to be a person who is, in general, 'good'. I want to be an example of how people should live thier lives. I want to care about things, not to be apathetic. I want to be anti-globalisation, anti-capitalist, anti-slavery. I want not to tell others how to live thier lives, merely recomend a decent way of living.
But I think that, if you filmed me for a day, I would not be any of this.
I am a loudmouth. Ant once described someone as 'one of those people who take the urine out of people because they don't know them' - thats me, pretty much. Exactly the opposite to what I want to be.
If I met myself, I'd hate me. The things that I hate most about others - roll them all together, and you have me.
In the reflection of the window, I see myself, and I'm not the wise old man that I think I am. I'm just a kid scraed shpitless of the world that cannot practice what he preaches.
---
I can see the reflection of my clock in the window.
It's the wrong way around. All back to front - hands going the wrong direction, numbers backward.
When I look in the mirror, I feel like my clock. Nothing like what I imagine myself to be. I'm all the wrong way round.
I have this fear that, if you were to film me for an entire day and show me the results, I would be the exact opposite to what I want to be.
I want to be a person who is, in general, 'good'. I want to be an example of how people should live thier lives. I want to care about things, not to be apathetic. I want to be anti-globalisation, anti-capitalist, anti-slavery. I want not to tell others how to live thier lives, merely recomend a decent way of living.
But I think that, if you filmed me for a day, I would not be any of this.
I am a loudmouth. Ant once described someone as 'one of those people who take the urine out of people because they don't know them' - thats me, pretty much. Exactly the opposite to what I want to be.
If I met myself, I'd hate me. The things that I hate most about others - roll them all together, and you have me.
In the reflection of the window, I see myself, and I'm not the wise old man that I think I am. I'm just a kid scraed shpitless of the world that cannot practice what he preaches.