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Daily Sun – 27th October 2002 – Page 19
DAMN DIRTY GAMES
It’s illegal in Greece
Taking life’s in South Korea
It caused exam crisis
And has been linked with Al Queda
So we gave Gary Moron the task of looking into this new act of terrorism
My journey started in the back streets of Athens last week, where the black market of gaming has risen due to it becoming illegal in the country. It was quite a sad site to see, small dark rooms packed with greasy teenagers. There are no windows and a single bulb emits a dull glow in the room, revealing posters of Lara Craft. There is only a single Playstation 2 and the gamers fight over it like you might see at stands in shops back in good ol’ England (God Save the Queen Mam). The light bulb blows and I realise it’s time to leave this B.O ridden place; I only needed to stay a while to take in the dirty gaming junkies. I tried to ask some questions but those damn dirty Greeks don’t speak English… can you believe the cheek of that? I’m glad they’re suffering. I moved into a more civilised area of Athens and talk to a former Internet Café owner. He is now trying to make a living selling kebabs. I asked him what he thought of the new law passed in Greece, “ It bad yes, bad yes. You buy kebab, kebab good yes? “. I refused his kebab, but it’s ‘bad’… bad like the devil on a skateboard I say.
I left Greece and headed for South Korea in search of answers over claims that a man died after playing games too much. I tracked down the Internet café where the man was found dead, I could sense the evil around the place. I asked the owner what happened. “ He played for days… I say stop you stupid man but he didn’t listen then he faints and err I find him in toilet dead “. Dead just because he wanted to have some fun playing his games. However, other people suggest he ate a dodgy dog during his gaming spree and that’s what killed him. We don’t eat dog back in England (God Save the Queen Mam) so I say the games killed him. This is the new evil of the world and it could be moving into YOUR house very soon. Beware, you need eyes on the back of your head, back, hands and legs.
I flew back home to England (God Save the Queen Mam) where the exam fiasco is still in the news. It has been reported that the A-Level results have been manipulated to make the pass rate lower so exams are not labelled to easily. I spoke to a government official who wishes to be anonymous. “ That is simply not the case, in many exam papers there were answers mentioning Gamecubes and Playstation 2, such as “I wish I woz playing me new gamepupe “. We needed to make the pass rate higher because of this gaming influence that has struck our nations youth “. It’s those dirty games, they’re making our youth thick, they’ll be reading cereal boxes instead of the great Daily Sun. This is turning into a serious problem… such a problem similar to a fat person needing to buy clothes from the tent company.
This is all seems ghastly enough but there’s one more chapter left in this evil story. BIN LADEN, CAVES, TERRORISM… quick somebody save the Queen. That’s right George W. Bush has stated that Sony and Microsoft ‘might be linked with Al Queda’ and they are putting subliminal messages into new games. The only way to solve this is to drop bombs on every house that owns such a console… so beware for bombs at night, but it’s for the good of mankind and God would want such a thing.
This evil of gaming is taking over the world and I for one whole heartily agree to bomb everyone into the ground whilst I shall be saving the Queen.
Don’t forget to read my article next week “ Bins? Do we really need them? “
Gary Moron
DAMN DIRTY GAMES
It’s illegal in Greece
Taking life’s in South Korea
It caused exam crisis
And has been linked with Al Queda
So we gave Gary Moron the task of looking into this new act of terrorism
My journey started in the back streets of Athens last week, where the black market of gaming has risen due to it becoming illegal in the country. It was quite a sad site to see, small dark rooms packed with greasy teenagers. There are no windows and a single bulb emits a dull glow in the room, revealing posters of Lara Craft. There is only a single Playstation 2 and the gamers fight over it like you might see at stands in shops back in good ol’ England (God Save the Queen Mam). The light bulb blows and I realise it’s time to leave this B.O ridden place; I only needed to stay a while to take in the dirty gaming junkies. I tried to ask some questions but those damn dirty Greeks don’t speak English… can you believe the cheek of that? I’m glad they’re suffering. I moved into a more civilised area of Athens and talk to a former Internet Café owner. He is now trying to make a living selling kebabs. I asked him what he thought of the new law passed in Greece, “ It bad yes, bad yes. You buy kebab, kebab good yes? “. I refused his kebab, but it’s ‘bad’… bad like the devil on a skateboard I say.
I left Greece and headed for South Korea in search of answers over claims that a man died after playing games too much. I tracked down the Internet café where the man was found dead, I could sense the evil around the place. I asked the owner what happened. “ He played for days… I say stop you stupid man but he didn’t listen then he faints and err I find him in toilet dead “. Dead just because he wanted to have some fun playing his games. However, other people suggest he ate a dodgy dog during his gaming spree and that’s what killed him. We don’t eat dog back in England (God Save the Queen Mam) so I say the games killed him. This is the new evil of the world and it could be moving into YOUR house very soon. Beware, you need eyes on the back of your head, back, hands and legs.
I flew back home to England (God Save the Queen Mam) where the exam fiasco is still in the news. It has been reported that the A-Level results have been manipulated to make the pass rate lower so exams are not labelled to easily. I spoke to a government official who wishes to be anonymous. “ That is simply not the case, in many exam papers there were answers mentioning Gamecubes and Playstation 2, such as “I wish I woz playing me new gamepupe “. We needed to make the pass rate higher because of this gaming influence that has struck our nations youth “. It’s those dirty games, they’re making our youth thick, they’ll be reading cereal boxes instead of the great Daily Sun. This is turning into a serious problem… such a problem similar to a fat person needing to buy clothes from the tent company.
This is all seems ghastly enough but there’s one more chapter left in this evil story. BIN LADEN, CAVES, TERRORISM… quick somebody save the Queen. That’s right George W. Bush has stated that Sony and Microsoft ‘might be linked with Al Queda’ and they are putting subliminal messages into new games. The only way to solve this is to drop bombs on every house that owns such a console… so beware for bombs at night, but it’s for the good of mankind and God would want such a thing.
This evil of gaming is taking over the world and I for one whole heartily agree to bomb everyone into the ground whilst I shall be saving the Queen.
Don’t forget to read my article next week “ Bins? Do we really need them? “
Gary Moron
Dear Ernest C. Twit
I was at hospital last week with the same domestic appliance problem, how painful.
I think those immigrants planted those disks dear sir... I say we burn them whilst singing God Save the Queen whilst looking at Page 3.
----
Yeah I claimed it other day Joel, not changed though.
I was at hospital last week with the same domestic appliance problem, how painful.
I think those immigrants planted those disks dear sir... I say we burn them whilst singing God Save the Queen whilst looking at Page 3.
----
Yeah I claimed it other day Joel, not changed though.
Dear Gary Moron,
I very much enjoyed your article on the dangers of gaming. I have often thought that moving picture games and enjoyment-pads are responsible for the decline in our country, along with the smoking of cocaine spliffs, and dance crazes like the jitterbug. Your article confirmed my worst fears!
You missed out one very important point though! Those tiny little Game-Square discs! Only last week - when I was visiting the emergency room to have an automated-dust-sucker contrapulation removed from my groinular area - my doctor was forced to remove seven or eight of these discs from my stomach. I had mistaken them for Cheerios! When I told my grandson this story he turned round with an angelic smile and said 'Granddad, you are a complete ******!' The things kids say!
Yours sincerely,
Ernest C. Twit
PS I blame the immigrants!
I very much enjoyed your article on the dangers of gaming. I have often thought that moving picture games and enjoyment-pads are responsible for the decline in our country, along with the smoking of cocaine spliffs, and dance crazes like the jitterbug. Your article confirmed my worst fears!
You missed out one very important point though! Those tiny little Game-Square discs! Only last week - when I was visiting the emergency room to have an automated-dust-sucker contrapulation removed from my groinular area - my doctor was forced to remove seven or eight of these discs from my stomach. I had mistaken them for Cheerios! When I told my grandson this story he turned round with an angelic smile and said 'Granddad, you are a complete ******!' The things kids say!
Yours sincerely,
Ernest C. Twit
PS I blame the immigrants!
SHEEPY, you have a GAD outstanding. Just thought I'd tell you, Prize 1, towards the bottom.
You adn er-no never claimed...
You adn er-no never claimed...
*shameful pop*
He was a stupid man
I'm glad the good ol' British taploid the Daily Sun told me this and not the News Monkey on the Upwire :)
I'm glad the good ol' British taploid the Daily Sun told me this and not the News Monkey on the Upwire :)
SHEEPY wrote:
“ He
> played for days… I say stop you stupid man but he didn’t listen then
> he faints and err I find him in toilet dead “.
STOP YOU STUPID MAN! hehe
Nice one Sheepy.
“ He
> played for days… I say stop you stupid man but he didn’t listen then
> he faints and err I find him in toilet dead “.
STOP YOU STUPID MAN! hehe
Nice one Sheepy.
Daily Sun – 27th October 2002 – Page 19
DAMN DIRTY GAMES
It’s illegal in Greece
Taking life’s in South Korea
It caused exam crisis
And has been linked with Al Queda
So we gave Gary Moron the task of looking into this new act of terrorism
My journey started in the back streets of Athens last week, where the black market of gaming has risen due to it becoming illegal in the country. It was quite a sad site to see, small dark rooms packed with greasy teenagers. There are no windows and a single bulb emits a dull glow in the room, revealing posters of Lara Craft. There is only a single Playstation 2 and the gamers fight over it like you might see at stands in shops back in good ol’ England (God Save the Queen Mam). The light bulb blows and I realise it’s time to leave this B.O ridden place; I only needed to stay a while to take in the dirty gaming junkies. I tried to ask some questions but those damn dirty Greeks don’t speak English… can you believe the cheek of that? I’m glad they’re suffering. I moved into a more civilised area of Athens and talk to a former Internet Café owner. He is now trying to make a living selling kebabs. I asked him what he thought of the new law passed in Greece, “ It bad yes, bad yes. You buy kebab, kebab good yes? “. I refused his kebab, but it’s ‘bad’… bad like the devil on a skateboard I say.
I left Greece and headed for South Korea in search of answers over claims that a man died after playing games too much. I tracked down the Internet café where the man was found dead, I could sense the evil around the place. I asked the owner what happened. “ He played for days… I say stop you stupid man but he didn’t listen then he faints and err I find him in toilet dead “. Dead just because he wanted to have some fun playing his games. However, other people suggest he ate a dodgy dog during his gaming spree and that’s what killed him. We don’t eat dog back in England (God Save the Queen Mam) so I say the games killed him. This is the new evil of the world and it could be moving into YOUR house very soon. Beware, you need eyes on the back of your head, back, hands and legs.
I flew back home to England (God Save the Queen Mam) where the exam fiasco is still in the news. It has been reported that the A-Level results have been manipulated to make the pass rate lower so exams are not labelled to easily. I spoke to a government official who wishes to be anonymous. “ That is simply not the case, in many exam papers there were answers mentioning Gamecubes and Playstation 2, such as “I wish I woz playing me new gamepupe “. We needed to make the pass rate higher because of this gaming influence that has struck our nations youth “. It’s those dirty games, they’re making our youth thick, they’ll be reading cereal boxes instead of the great Daily Sun. This is turning into a serious problem… such a problem similar to a fat person needing to buy clothes from the tent company.
This is all seems ghastly enough but there’s one more chapter left in this evil story. BIN LADEN, CAVES, TERRORISM… quick somebody save the Queen. That’s right George W. Bush has stated that Sony and Microsoft ‘might be linked with Al Queda’ and they are putting subliminal messages into new games. The only way to solve this is to drop bombs on every house that owns such a console… so beware for bombs at night, but it’s for the good of mankind and God would want such a thing.
This evil of gaming is taking over the world and I for one whole heartily agree to bomb everyone into the ground whilst I shall be saving the Queen.
Don’t forget to read my article next week “ Bins? Do we really need them? “
Gary Moron
DAMN DIRTY GAMES
It’s illegal in Greece
Taking life’s in South Korea
It caused exam crisis
And has been linked with Al Queda
So we gave Gary Moron the task of looking into this new act of terrorism
My journey started in the back streets of Athens last week, where the black market of gaming has risen due to it becoming illegal in the country. It was quite a sad site to see, small dark rooms packed with greasy teenagers. There are no windows and a single bulb emits a dull glow in the room, revealing posters of Lara Craft. There is only a single Playstation 2 and the gamers fight over it like you might see at stands in shops back in good ol’ England (God Save the Queen Mam). The light bulb blows and I realise it’s time to leave this B.O ridden place; I only needed to stay a while to take in the dirty gaming junkies. I tried to ask some questions but those damn dirty Greeks don’t speak English… can you believe the cheek of that? I’m glad they’re suffering. I moved into a more civilised area of Athens and talk to a former Internet Café owner. He is now trying to make a living selling kebabs. I asked him what he thought of the new law passed in Greece, “ It bad yes, bad yes. You buy kebab, kebab good yes? “. I refused his kebab, but it’s ‘bad’… bad like the devil on a skateboard I say.
I left Greece and headed for South Korea in search of answers over claims that a man died after playing games too much. I tracked down the Internet café where the man was found dead, I could sense the evil around the place. I asked the owner what happened. “ He played for days… I say stop you stupid man but he didn’t listen then he faints and err I find him in toilet dead “. Dead just because he wanted to have some fun playing his games. However, other people suggest he ate a dodgy dog during his gaming spree and that’s what killed him. We don’t eat dog back in England (God Save the Queen Mam) so I say the games killed him. This is the new evil of the world and it could be moving into YOUR house very soon. Beware, you need eyes on the back of your head, back, hands and legs.
I flew back home to England (God Save the Queen Mam) where the exam fiasco is still in the news. It has been reported that the A-Level results have been manipulated to make the pass rate lower so exams are not labelled to easily. I spoke to a government official who wishes to be anonymous. “ That is simply not the case, in many exam papers there were answers mentioning Gamecubes and Playstation 2, such as “I wish I woz playing me new gamepupe “. We needed to make the pass rate higher because of this gaming influence that has struck our nations youth “. It’s those dirty games, they’re making our youth thick, they’ll be reading cereal boxes instead of the great Daily Sun. This is turning into a serious problem… such a problem similar to a fat person needing to buy clothes from the tent company.
This is all seems ghastly enough but there’s one more chapter left in this evil story. BIN LADEN, CAVES, TERRORISM… quick somebody save the Queen. That’s right George W. Bush has stated that Sony and Microsoft ‘might be linked with Al Queda’ and they are putting subliminal messages into new games. The only way to solve this is to drop bombs on every house that owns such a console… so beware for bombs at night, but it’s for the good of mankind and God would want such a thing.
This evil of gaming is taking over the world and I for one whole heartily agree to bomb everyone into the ground whilst I shall be saving the Queen.
Don’t forget to read my article next week “ Bins? Do we really need them? “
Gary Moron