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This thread has been linked to the game 'Grand Theft Auto 3'.
Many people have believed they have the power to foresee the future. For thousands of years these people have read tea leaves, plotted life charts and gazed at the stars, all in the name of predicting some poor soul's next few days. These people...are stupid. From the £2-a-minute phone lines to those wasted pages in the back of the newspaper, horoscopes are absolute tosh, along with every other old or new-fangled idea that can break the fourth dimension of time. However, I have discovered a way to describe your inner-being and thus give you a guide to what you MIGHT do in the future, all based on how you play GTA3. Let's begin:
If, in GTA3, you...
GO STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MISSIONS AND SWITCH OFF THE GAME
You are quite sad, and no doubt have very few friends. Neither an all-round nice, happy, 'green' person or a cold-hearted, evil 'black' person, you are just a boring 'beige'. You are well suited to plain envorinments such as living rooms, and enjoy hobbies, such as stamp-collecting, trainspotting and stitching labels on to your clothes.
STEAL A CAR AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE YOUR HIDEOUT, AND RUN OVER THE SCREAMING OWNER
You have a lively sense of humour, quite regularly displaying a razor sharp sardonic wit. You have no time for cry-babies, and your mantra is "life is for living".
GRAB THE BASEBALL BAT FROM YOUR HIDEOUT AND GO KILL SOME CIVILIANS
You look after number one, and do what's best for yourself. You have a talent for hands-on activities like playing rugby, and watch Casualty not for the bad dialogue and wooden acting, but the cool special effects and make-up used for accident victims.
STEAL A YARDIE CAR, SWITCH ON THE HYDRAULICS AND CRUISE THE STREETS, DOING SOME DRIVE-BYS
You are probably wearing a bandana and a hooded sweatshirt as I type. You enjoy loud garage music, and knives. Your signature planet is Saturn (cuz it has da Bling-Bling ring, yo), and your hobby is probably something to do with beat-boxing, breakdancing, or both. You will be buying the So Solid Crew DVD when it's released.
GO TO A CROWDED AREA AND THROW SOME GRENADES AND MOLOTOVS
You enjoy the company of others, and probably live in a city (because you like the hustle and bustle, and the smothering atmosphere). You also like bright colours, and loud noises. You will probably go to a Moby concert in the near future.
FIND A HIGH PLACE AND EQUIP YOUR SNIPER RIFLE
The final curtain has fallen on your murderous play, Mister! The Washington State Police Force will be kicking your door down before you can so much as look at a pack of tarot cards!
BEAT UP THE VILLAGE PEOPLE-QUOTING BUILDERS
You may hide it with a macho front, but you have overwhelming feelings of passion towards your male friends. In a self-deprecating charade, your belittle homosexuals, but at home enjoy dressing in frocks and watching Ally McBeal.
GET A FAST CAR AND PEEL DOWN THE SIDEWALK, GOING OVER ANYONE THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY
You are an important person with important things to do, and nobody's going to get between you and that four-thirty meeting. Probably working in an office, you often feel the need to release your anger in short bursts by driving your Ford Focus through the nearest shop window, but relieve your stress by playing violent video-games, and posting on internet message boards.
STEAL A BUS AND PICK UP THREE HOOKERS
You know how to have fun, and won't let any straight-edging priss tie you down. You enjoy big nights out (and other things that are big too, hehe), and are always the life of the party. Likely to have a party.
GET A TANK, AND DO AS MUCH DAMAGE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE BEFORE THE COPS KILL YOU
You enjoy a challenging, and like to the push the boundries. You also have a bit of a rebellious streak, and like to test yourself by seeing how much stuff you can get away with. Likely to pee in next-door's letter-box in the coming weeks.
NICK AN AMBULANCE AND HELP THE INJURED
You were the milk monitor at school, and are no doubt always the designated driver at school. Always looking at the serious side of things rather than going out and having fun. You watch Casualty not for for the bad dialogue, wooden acting or special effects and make-up used for accident victims, but for the way everyone was bandaged up afterwards. The person that said 'what about the neighbours' when someone turned up the music, and 'what about the baby kittens' when someone kicked your pregnant cat. You're a loser.
NICK A POLICE CAR AND RID LIBERTY CITY OF CRIMINALS
More often than not, you miss the point of whatever activity you're doing...prone to potting your opponent's balls in pool, and gambling not for money, but the thrill of winning. You'll probably play poker with 2p coins, or something.
...YOU DON'T HAVE GTA3?
You're even sadder than the people that steal the ambulances. Go and buy it now, before I shoot you with a shotgun.
I hope you found this enlightening, and you now have an idea of what you're going to do. For more, phone 555-SR-ROX (calls charged at £35 per minute...I NEED NEW GAMES). Please report with feedback, or success stories related to this post.
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
If, in GTA3, you...
GO STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MISSIONS AND SWITCH OFF THE GAME
You are quite sad, and no doubt have very few friends. Neither an all-round nice, happy, 'green' person or a cold-hearted, evil 'black' person, you are just a boring 'beige'. You are well suited to plain envorinments such as living rooms, and enjoy hobbies, such as stamp-collecting, trainspotting and stitching labels on to your clothes.
STEAL A CAR AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE YOUR HIDEOUT, AND RUN OVER THE SCREAMING OWNER
You have a lively sense of humour, quite regularly displaying a razor sharp sardonic wit. You have no time for cry-babies, and your mantra is "life is for living".
GRAB THE BASEBALL BAT FROM YOUR HIDEOUT AND GO KILL SOME CIVILIANS
You look after number one, and do what's best for yourself. You have a talent for hands-on activities like playing rugby, and watch Casualty not for the bad dialogue and wooden acting, but the cool special effects and make-up used for accident victims.
STEAL A YARDIE CAR, SWITCH ON THE HYDRAULICS AND CRUISE THE STREETS, DOING SOME DRIVE-BYS
You are probably wearing a bandana and a hooded sweatshirt as I type. You enjoy loud garage music, and knives. Your signature planet is Saturn (cuz it has da Bling-Bling ring, yo), and your hobby is probably something to do with beat-boxing, breakdancing, or both. You will be buying the So Solid Crew DVD when it's released.
GO TO A CROWDED AREA AND THROW SOME GRENADES AND MOLOTOVS
You enjoy the company of others, and probably live in a city (because you like the hustle and bustle, and the smothering atmosphere). You also like bright colours, and loud noises. You will probably go to a Moby concert in the near future.
FIND A HIGH PLACE AND EQUIP YOUR SNIPER RIFLE
The final curtain has fallen on your murderous play, Mister! The Washington State Police Force will be kicking your door down before you can so much as look at a pack of tarot cards!
BEAT UP THE VILLAGE PEOPLE-QUOTING BUILDERS
You may hide it with a macho front, but you have overwhelming feelings of passion towards your male friends. In a self-deprecating charade, your belittle homosexuals, but at home enjoy dressing in frocks and watching Ally McBeal.
GET A FAST CAR AND PEEL DOWN THE SIDEWALK, GOING OVER ANYONE THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY
You are an important person with important things to do, and nobody's going to get between you and that four-thirty meeting. Probably working in an office, you often feel the need to release your anger in short bursts by driving your Ford Focus through the nearest shop window, but relieve your stress by playing violent video-games, and posting on internet message boards.
STEAL A BUS AND PICK UP THREE HOOKERS
You know how to have fun, and won't let any straight-edging priss tie you down. You enjoy big nights out (and other things that are big too, hehe), and are always the life of the party. Likely to have a party.
GET A TANK, AND DO AS MUCH DAMAGE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE BEFORE THE COPS KILL YOU
You enjoy a challenging, and like to the push the boundries. You also have a bit of a rebellious streak, and like to test yourself by seeing how much stuff you can get away with. Likely to pee in next-door's letter-box in the coming weeks.
NICK AN AMBULANCE AND HELP THE INJURED
You were the milk monitor at school, and are no doubt always the designated driver at school. Always looking at the serious side of things rather than going out and having fun. You watch Casualty not for for the bad dialogue, wooden acting or special effects and make-up used for accident victims, but for the way everyone was bandaged up afterwards. The person that said 'what about the neighbours' when someone turned up the music, and 'what about the baby kittens' when someone kicked your pregnant cat. You're a loser.
NICK A POLICE CAR AND RID LIBERTY CITY OF CRIMINALS
More often than not, you miss the point of whatever activity you're doing...prone to potting your opponent's balls in pool, and gambling not for money, but the thrill of winning. You'll probably play poker with 2p coins, or something.
...YOU DON'T HAVE GTA3?
You're even sadder than the people that steal the ambulances. Go and buy it now, before I shoot you with a shotgun.
I hope you found this enlightening, and you now have an idea of what you're going to do. For more, phone 555-SR-ROX (calls charged at £35 per minute...I NEED NEW GAMES). Please report with feedback, or success stories related to this post.
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
Many people have believed they have the power to foresee the future. For thousands of years these people have read tea leaves, plotted life charts and gazed at the stars, all in the name of predicting some poor soul's next few days. These people...are stupid. From the £2-a-minute phone lines to those wasted pages in the back of the newspaper, horoscopes are absolute tosh, along with every other old or new-fangled idea that can break the fourth dimension of time. However, I have discovered a way to describe your inner-being and thus give you a guide to what you MIGHT do in the future, all based on how you play GTA3. Let's begin:
If, in GTA3, you...
GO STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MISSIONS AND SWITCH OFF THE GAME
You are quite sad, and no doubt have very few friends. Neither an all-round nice, happy, 'green' person or a cold-hearted, evil 'black' person, you are just a boring 'beige'. You are well suited to plain envorinments such as living rooms, and enjoy hobbies, such as stamp-collecting, trainspotting and stitching labels on to your clothes.
STEAL A CAR AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE YOUR HIDEOUT, AND RUN OVER THE SCREAMING OWNER
You have a lively sense of humour, quite regularly displaying a razor sharp sardonic wit. You have no time for cry-babies, and your mantra is "life is for living".
GRAB THE BASEBALL BAT FROM YOUR HIDEOUT AND GO KILL SOME CIVILIANS
You look after number one, and do what's best for yourself. You have a talent for hands-on activities like playing rugby, and watch Casualty not for the bad dialogue and wooden acting, but the cool special effects and make-up used for accident victims.
STEAL A YARDIE CAR, SWITCH ON THE HYDRAULICS AND CRUISE THE STREETS, DOING SOME DRIVE-BYS
You are probably wearing a bandana and a hooded sweatshirt as I type. You enjoy loud garage music, and knives. Your signature planet is Saturn (cuz it has da Bling-Bling ring, yo), and your hobby is probably something to do with beat-boxing, breakdancing, or both. You will be buying the So Solid Crew DVD when it's released.
GO TO A CROWDED AREA AND THROW SOME GRENADES AND MOLOTOVS
You enjoy the company of others, and probably live in a city (because you like the hustle and bustle, and the smothering atmosphere). You also like bright colours, and loud noises. You will probably go to a Moby concert in the near future.
FIND A HIGH PLACE AND EQUIP YOUR SNIPER RIFLE
The final curtain has fallen on your murderous play, Mister! The Washington State Police Force will be kicking your door down before you can so much as look at a pack of tarot cards!
BEAT UP THE VILLAGE PEOPLE-QUOTING BUILDERS
You may hide it with a macho front, but you have overwhelming feelings of passion towards your male friends. In a self-deprecating charade, your belittle homosexuals, but at home enjoy dressing in frocks and watching Ally McBeal.
GET A FAST CAR AND PEEL DOWN THE SIDEWALK, GOING OVER ANYONE THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY
You are an important person with important things to do, and nobody's going to get between you and that four-thirty meeting. Probably working in an office, you often feel the need to release your anger in short bursts by driving your Ford Focus through the nearest shop window, but relieve your stress by playing violent video-games, and posting on internet message boards.
STEAL A BUS AND PICK UP THREE HOOKERS
You know how to have fun, and won't let any straight-edging priss tie you down. You enjoy big nights out (and other things that are big too, hehe), and are always the life of the party. Likely to have a party.
GET A TANK, AND DO AS MUCH DAMAGE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE BEFORE THE COPS KILL YOU
You enjoy a challenging, and like to the push the boundries. You also have a bit of a rebellious streak, and like to test yourself by seeing how much stuff you can get away with. Likely to pee in next-door's letter-box in the coming weeks.
NICK AN AMBULANCE AND HELP THE INJURED
You were the milk monitor at school, and are no doubt always the designated driver at school. Always looking at the serious side of things rather than going out and having fun. You watch Casualty not for for the bad dialogue, wooden acting or special effects and make-up used for accident victims, but for the way everyone was bandaged up afterwards. The person that said 'what about the neighbours' when someone turned up the music, and 'what about the baby kittens' when someone kicked your pregnant cat. You're a loser.
NICK A POLICE CAR AND RID LIBERTY CITY OF CRIMINALS
More often than not, you miss the point of whatever activity you're doing...prone to potting your opponent's balls in pool, and gambling not for money, but the thrill of winning. You'll probably play poker with 2p coins, or something.
...YOU DON'T HAVE GTA3?
You're even sadder than the people that steal the ambulances. Go and buy it now, before I shoot you with a shotgun.
I hope you found this enlightening, and you now have an idea of what you're going to do. For more, phone 555-SR-ROX (calls charged at £35 per minute...I NEED NEW GAMES). Please report with feedback, or success stories related to this post.
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
If, in GTA3, you...
GO STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MISSIONS AND SWITCH OFF THE GAME
You are quite sad, and no doubt have very few friends. Neither an all-round nice, happy, 'green' person or a cold-hearted, evil 'black' person, you are just a boring 'beige'. You are well suited to plain envorinments such as living rooms, and enjoy hobbies, such as stamp-collecting, trainspotting and stitching labels on to your clothes.
STEAL A CAR AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE YOUR HIDEOUT, AND RUN OVER THE SCREAMING OWNER
You have a lively sense of humour, quite regularly displaying a razor sharp sardonic wit. You have no time for cry-babies, and your mantra is "life is for living".
GRAB THE BASEBALL BAT FROM YOUR HIDEOUT AND GO KILL SOME CIVILIANS
You look after number one, and do what's best for yourself. You have a talent for hands-on activities like playing rugby, and watch Casualty not for the bad dialogue and wooden acting, but the cool special effects and make-up used for accident victims.
STEAL A YARDIE CAR, SWITCH ON THE HYDRAULICS AND CRUISE THE STREETS, DOING SOME DRIVE-BYS
You are probably wearing a bandana and a hooded sweatshirt as I type. You enjoy loud garage music, and knives. Your signature planet is Saturn (cuz it has da Bling-Bling ring, yo), and your hobby is probably something to do with beat-boxing, breakdancing, or both. You will be buying the So Solid Crew DVD when it's released.
GO TO A CROWDED AREA AND THROW SOME GRENADES AND MOLOTOVS
You enjoy the company of others, and probably live in a city (because you like the hustle and bustle, and the smothering atmosphere). You also like bright colours, and loud noises. You will probably go to a Moby concert in the near future.
FIND A HIGH PLACE AND EQUIP YOUR SNIPER RIFLE
The final curtain has fallen on your murderous play, Mister! The Washington State Police Force will be kicking your door down before you can so much as look at a pack of tarot cards!
BEAT UP THE VILLAGE PEOPLE-QUOTING BUILDERS
You may hide it with a macho front, but you have overwhelming feelings of passion towards your male friends. In a self-deprecating charade, your belittle homosexuals, but at home enjoy dressing in frocks and watching Ally McBeal.
GET A FAST CAR AND PEEL DOWN THE SIDEWALK, GOING OVER ANYONE THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY
You are an important person with important things to do, and nobody's going to get between you and that four-thirty meeting. Probably working in an office, you often feel the need to release your anger in short bursts by driving your Ford Focus through the nearest shop window, but relieve your stress by playing violent video-games, and posting on internet message boards.
STEAL A BUS AND PICK UP THREE HOOKERS
You know how to have fun, and won't let any straight-edging priss tie you down. You enjoy big nights out (and other things that are big too, hehe), and are always the life of the party. Likely to have a party.
GET A TANK, AND DO AS MUCH DAMAGE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE BEFORE THE COPS KILL YOU
You enjoy a challenging, and like to the push the boundries. You also have a bit of a rebellious streak, and like to test yourself by seeing how much stuff you can get away with. Likely to pee in next-door's letter-box in the coming weeks.
NICK AN AMBULANCE AND HELP THE INJURED
You were the milk monitor at school, and are no doubt always the designated driver at school. Always looking at the serious side of things rather than going out and having fun. You watch Casualty not for for the bad dialogue, wooden acting or special effects and make-up used for accident victims, but for the way everyone was bandaged up afterwards. The person that said 'what about the neighbours' when someone turned up the music, and 'what about the baby kittens' when someone kicked your pregnant cat. You're a loser.
NICK A POLICE CAR AND RID LIBERTY CITY OF CRIMINALS
More often than not, you miss the point of whatever activity you're doing...prone to potting your opponent's balls in pool, and gambling not for money, but the thrill of winning. You'll probably play poker with 2p coins, or something.
...YOU DON'T HAVE GTA3?
You're even sadder than the people that steal the ambulances. Go and buy it now, before I shoot you with a shotgun.
I hope you found this enlightening, and you now have an idea of what you're going to do. For more, phone 555-SR-ROX (calls charged at £35 per minute...I NEED NEW GAMES). Please report with feedback, or success stories related to this post.
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
dam good horiscopes will you be sending them to fones