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"Stupid Footballer tries to outsmart media and fails"

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Sat 30/03/02 at 19:21
Regular
Posts: 787
The story of a footballer has dominated our papers for the past few weeks. This previously un-named but high-profile star had become embroiled in some extra-marital affairs and got caught out. Having dumped his lovers, one a table-dancer and the other a nanny, he was shocked to discover that they had gone to the papers with their stories, and presumably Max Clifford. Oh no, said he, I have a wife and children, whatever shall become of me if this gets out?

So this footballer takes the newspaper in question, Sundays-only rag "The People", to court saying that their story constitutes an invasion of privacy. Amazingly the presiding judge agreed with the footballer and the media world was set alight with the injustice of it all. The nameless footballer now found his blacked out image all over the nation dailies, all of which railed against the ruling. There was much speculation as to who this mysterious footballer was. Big names such as David Beckham and Alan Shearer were struck out by the papers who didn't want to tarnish good reputations.

Soon the case was at the court of appeal and our country's top judge, Lord Woolf, was presiding over events. Unsurprisingly he found in favour of the Sunday People but asked for the ban on printing the footballer's name or photo to remain in case the footballer wanted to appeal. However, last night Lord Woolf dismissed the footballer's appeal because the guy in question had allegedly already sold his counter-story to another newspaper.

The footballer in question is..... Gary Flitcroft... what you mean you've never heard of thsi guy? He's the captain of Blackburn Rovers. Still can't picture him? Exactly. This moron has turned what would only have been a one-off Sunday paper story into a media circus. His identity has now been revealed in all of the national dailies. Flitcroft has effectively shot himself in the foot because no-one would have cared or found out about his infidelities if he had just ignored the intial story.

However, maybe you're a little cynical. A newspaper's stuck with a fairly innocuous celebrity adultry tale, so maybe they give the celeb in question a hint about the story, enough so he tries to block it. Then he does take you to court and suddenly you've turned your page-filler into a media-storm overnight.

Maybe celebs should learn that people are fickle, and today's Will Young will soon become tomorrow's Gareth Gates. It doesn't matter what you do; the public will soon forget. But if you take on the papers, if you try and hold out and maintain that veneer of respectability you imagine that you have, then the papers will take you to the cleaners and make sure that your name is forever linked to whatever scandal you created.

It happened to Bill Clinton. He lied and lied and held out about his dalliances and so the papers went after him with a new vigour. Fortunately for Clinton he could dump on your doorstep and his opinion poll rating would still go up. I very much doubt that many other famous people have the same non-stick properties of the Teflon kid though. Maybe it's to his credit that Will Young came out before the media had a chance to expose him. Before the insipid kiss-and-tell stories started filtering out and the media had a field day. Will Young came out and said it and now he's been pretty much left alone by the media.

But poor Gary Flitcroft. He's now got to read the interviews in which his ex-lovers make really bad puns, "He scored an own goal didn't he?", "It happened off the ball".. and what's more I have to endure them to, and I have to listen to his stupid story on the radio. If only that foolish man had just let the paers expose him first time round... ah well.
Tue 02/04/02 at 09:54
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
I remember when Gary Flitcroft used to play for Man City, he was quite good then.

But I remember thinking he was very ugly. Big teeth, and pudding basin hair cut. How the heck did he get a wife, and two mistresses?
Mon 01/04/02 at 22:15
Regular
Posts: 5,630
If it had been in the papers people would have had one look at the name and thought 'who's he?' and gone on to the next page. Thanks to his delusions of grandeur and his misconcieved notions that people actually are intersted in him, he has got himself a hell of a lot more attention than he would have had in the first place

or maybe that's his plan...
Mon 01/04/02 at 22:11
Regular
"I like cheese"
Posts: 16,918
Yeah, I read a little about this in the Telegraph but wasn't entirely sure what it was all about. Thanks for clearing it up.
Sat 30/03/02 at 19:43
Regular
Posts: 15,579
Well, maybe he thought he had a good chance of winning.

He would have been found out from the start so he had to try and cover it up...
Sat 30/03/02 at 19:21
Regular
"funky blitzkreig"
Posts: 2,540
The story of a footballer has dominated our papers for the past few weeks. This previously un-named but high-profile star had become embroiled in some extra-marital affairs and got caught out. Having dumped his lovers, one a table-dancer and the other a nanny, he was shocked to discover that they had gone to the papers with their stories, and presumably Max Clifford. Oh no, said he, I have a wife and children, whatever shall become of me if this gets out?

So this footballer takes the newspaper in question, Sundays-only rag "The People", to court saying that their story constitutes an invasion of privacy. Amazingly the presiding judge agreed with the footballer and the media world was set alight with the injustice of it all. The nameless footballer now found his blacked out image all over the nation dailies, all of which railed against the ruling. There was much speculation as to who this mysterious footballer was. Big names such as David Beckham and Alan Shearer were struck out by the papers who didn't want to tarnish good reputations.

Soon the case was at the court of appeal and our country's top judge, Lord Woolf, was presiding over events. Unsurprisingly he found in favour of the Sunday People but asked for the ban on printing the footballer's name or photo to remain in case the footballer wanted to appeal. However, last night Lord Woolf dismissed the footballer's appeal because the guy in question had allegedly already sold his counter-story to another newspaper.

The footballer in question is..... Gary Flitcroft... what you mean you've never heard of thsi guy? He's the captain of Blackburn Rovers. Still can't picture him? Exactly. This moron has turned what would only have been a one-off Sunday paper story into a media circus. His identity has now been revealed in all of the national dailies. Flitcroft has effectively shot himself in the foot because no-one would have cared or found out about his infidelities if he had just ignored the intial story.

However, maybe you're a little cynical. A newspaper's stuck with a fairly innocuous celebrity adultry tale, so maybe they give the celeb in question a hint about the story, enough so he tries to block it. Then he does take you to court and suddenly you've turned your page-filler into a media-storm overnight.

Maybe celebs should learn that people are fickle, and today's Will Young will soon become tomorrow's Gareth Gates. It doesn't matter what you do; the public will soon forget. But if you take on the papers, if you try and hold out and maintain that veneer of respectability you imagine that you have, then the papers will take you to the cleaners and make sure that your name is forever linked to whatever scandal you created.

It happened to Bill Clinton. He lied and lied and held out about his dalliances and so the papers went after him with a new vigour. Fortunately for Clinton he could dump on your doorstep and his opinion poll rating would still go up. I very much doubt that many other famous people have the same non-stick properties of the Teflon kid though. Maybe it's to his credit that Will Young came out before the media had a chance to expose him. Before the insipid kiss-and-tell stories started filtering out and the media had a field day. Will Young came out and said it and now he's been pretty much left alone by the media.

But poor Gary Flitcroft. He's now got to read the interviews in which his ex-lovers make really bad puns, "He scored an own goal didn't he?", "It happened off the ball".. and what's more I have to endure them to, and I have to listen to his stupid story on the radio. If only that foolish man had just let the paers expose him first time round... ah well.

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