Viewing Thread:
"Animal Hospital"

Rolf:
"G'day. I'm Rolf Harris, and welcome to a very special edition of Animal Hospital. We're here today at the ISPCN (International Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Nintendo) centre in Tokyo, and in the next half hour we're going to meet some amazing creatures with some not so amazing illnesses and injuries.

(irregular breathing) Can ya tell what it is yet?

Now our first case here today is quite run of the mill in terms of what the ISPCN has to deal with on a day to day basis... and Dr Mario is here to talk us through it. Dr Mario?"

Dr Mario:
"Yes-a Rolf. What-a we have a-here is a Yoshi with something stuck up his hind-a quarters."

Rolf:
"Ya mean 'is ars-?"

Dr Mario:
"Yes, his a-bottom. We think it may-a-be some kind of a-fruit, but we-a really need to-a take him in for an X-a-ray to be certain of a-what the object is."

Yoshi:
"Yoosssssssssssssshiiiii........"

Rolf:
"Strewth!"

Dr Mario:
"Mama mia!"

Rolf:
"You bet ya, maaaite!! Now, while Dr Mario scampers off and gets Yoshi's X-a-ray, I mean... X-ray done and dusted, nurse Peach is gonna show us this little blighter 'ere."



Peach:
"Thanks, Rolf. Now here we have a celebraty patient - "

Crowd:
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!"

Rolf:
"What was that?"

Peach:
"I have no idea..... anyway!!! This here, as you might have guessed, is the world-famous Kirby. It seems that his law-breaking has finally got him in a bit of trouble."

Rolf:
"Drug addict, is he?"

Peach:
"Yes... but he also has a tendency to suck people into his mouth and swallow them, before spitting them out again. Now, although this might seem like harmless playful behaviour, many people have reported missing wallets, jewelry and genitals after spending time in Kirby's mouth."

Rolf:
"Crikey, maaaaaite!"

Peach:
"But today, someone got the better of him by throwing quick drying cement mix into his mouth as he was sucking in air. So we now have one Kirby who cannot close his mouth because he has 10 tonnes of cement filling it."

Rolf:
"Strewth! How's he breathing?"

Peach:
"We hooked an iron lung up to his rear end."

Rolf:


Peach:


Crowd:


Rolf:
"So, how do we cure Kirby's problem.... you sexy, sexy nurse, you."

Peach:
"We're going to quickly remove the iron lung from Kirby's rectum, then insert this bicycle bump in there instead. Then we'll have Bowser here..."

Bowser:


Peach:
"... pump gallons of air into Kirby's windpipe via his back pipe network, which should form enough pressure to force the block of cement out of Kirby's mouth."

Rolf:
"Sounds bonza, darlin'! Now, while Peach prepares Kirby's operation and Yoshi is still being X-rayed by Dr Mario, we'll see our last patient here today... and I believe that Luigi is here to show us."

Luigi:
"Nobody-a loves me."

Rolf:
"Shut up."

Luigi:
Well, what-a-we have here is a sick Pikachu, brought in by Ash Ketchum, here."

Ash:
"Please, Sir! You HAVE to save Pikachu!"

Rolf:
"Now look here you big-eyed, unfashionably haired Japanese tart! Sit down, shut up and let this Italian plumber do his job!"

Ash:
"Plumber?!"

Luigi:
"Ah, don't you-a worry, kiddo. Plumbing and vetinary work; they no-so different, ah! Now, Pikachu... I'm just gonna shove this thermometer up your rear end. It won't hurt-a one bit, but you may feel-a the need to release bodily fluids; for which I am-a handing you this small plastic cup. Ok? Ok! Here-a we go."



Pikachu:
"CHUUUUUUUUUUUU!"



Bowser:
"What the fu - "



Kirby:
"I can breathe again! The crack's on me!"

Crowd:




Peach:
"Ooooooooooooooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dr Mario:
"Mama mia! And I was-a on a promise, too!"



Yoshi:
"Yoshi!!!!"



Donkey Kong:
"Groooowllll!" "GRRROOOOWWWL!!!!"

Rolf:
"Gaaaawd strewth, me old maaaaaites! This is pandemonium.... and we've gone and run outta time! I'm Rolf Harris, and you've been watching Animal Hospital!!!! G'nooooight, mates!!!!!!"

Dark Mark wrote:

...Peach walks in wearing a nurse's uniform (complete with a skirt shorter than Rolf's sausage)...
---------

That's...pretty sick, that you know about Rolf's sausage length.

Good post though, and quite funny. (A rarity for you. ;)

Whitestripes wrote:
> Heh, I can see it in the tabloids now:
>
> "Kirby stole my genitals"

*

LOL!!!

grat post mark thrashes mine out of the water

Heh, I can see it in the tabloids now:

"Kirby stole my genitals"

"Mama mia! And I was-a on a promise, too!"

nice one, peach pleasering her self how class. why dosnt mario help her after all they hev been going out for 9 or 10 years pluss now ent they?

Bazzman wrote:
> you actuallly filmed it? you.. um..

haggis

Boss_Pac_Man wrote:
> how about heeterboller

how about you read the topic and reply to that...

how about heeterboller

you actuallly filmed it? you.. um..