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"Perfect Videogaming Presents!"

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Mon 28/10/02 at 18:14
Regular
Posts: 787
Perfect Videogaming Presents

Stuck on what games get Grandma for Christmas? Bamboozled what to get your Brother? Mystified on what Mother want for her Birthday? Well we at GOOD Industries (Gaming Over Ordinary Dogs) have come up with the perfect ideas in this smart, handheld guide! We will tell you just about EVERYTHING of which you need to know about what games to get! From Strategy to RTS, all you need to know is here! Read on to find out more...

Lets start out simple, with just the basic, close family and what games they will want for the next money - sucking holiday!

Mother

Many people live under the myth that Mum's hate videogames! WRONG! Others think that they hate blood and guts! HOW SAD! Of course, they act like that to try and put you off - just like they do when they say they don't want a fuss for mothers day - Think about it - they always tell you the opposite of what to do! This is because middle aged woman have a problem expressing what they mean, it is all in the genes! So when they tell you not to pick on little kids, what they really mean is that they want you to steal their dinner money! When they say 'Don't play on the railway track' they're trying to tell you to moon the driver! It is that simple!

So what game does she want for Christmas? Well she always says their is too much violence on television (remember the opposites) so what she really wants is Grand Theft Auto 3, Hitman 2 or the like - she may pretend she doesn't like it and smack you around the house for a few hours, but once you leave she'll be on that console quicker that you can say 'antidisestablishmentarianism'!

Father

Fahers are a tricky one because there are 3 categories - Physical, Geeky and Damn right lazy!

The physical kind are the ones who build all your cabinets and stands gracefully, quickly and easily, using only curse words to cheer himself on whenever he feels that the prject is too easy. It is for this reason you should buy Good Industries 'Never Work Console' (£78.99 from all good internet sites), which is a DIY console. It comes with all the wrong peices od circuitboard, wrong screws and even wrong BOX! Even if, for some ungodly reason, the console manages to get put together, it doesn't even have the correct games to play on! The CD's are not compatiable with the console which mean many more hours of pleasure as he files through the instruction (Which are all in French), giving HUGE replay value. He'll love you for this. BIG TIME!

Geeky fathers are currently on the turn. If you was thinking of getting him an RPG, think again! Role - Playing Games are so out! What he wants is a mindless shoot - em up! Gone are the days when geeks wanted hours of addictive gameplay and intelligent chitter chat over the internet with the only friends they have got (who live in Hawaii), now all nerds want is a good old, complete-it-in- less-than-five-minute, mind numbing gore fest! The sad look of dissapointment on his face? Forget it, he really loves it! Even if he doesn't, what can he do to you? Scare you with an asthma attack? Throw a punch with one of those weedy arms of his? Or the classic - snap his glasses on your head? Don't be scare - just do it.

Fathers who are lazy love a good old, action packed multiplayer game! He may not look all that bothered when he tosses it aside after unravelling it, but nagging him every half hour will cause a festival inside of him. Every time you say 'pretty please' it'll be like a party inside him has just started. He'll eventually cave in and play on it with you. Although he may look annyed and keep glancing at his watch while you pummel his yoshi's face in on Smash Brothers, He is really very excited.

Brother

Your brothers are usually artistic and go against the grain of popularity, hating every fad in sight. No matter what he says, him hanging around with popular kids who think they are hard is just him trying to get some inside information for his artistic mates. Getting him a japanese gamecube then would be the ideal gift, as long as you purchase the latest innovative game and a Japanese to English Dictionary too. Watch his complete look of bordom as he watches a plastic fish drift around a pond, or a bit of mould on a windowsill grow. Brilliance!

Sister

Sisters are quite easy to shop for. Little miss independant and her pro - women ways wants a game where the women is the star. Lara Croft is based on the male audience, and would just cause her to write a letter of complaint to eidos for being so sexist, so the Barbie Horse riding game is probably the best thing for you to purchase for her. She'll love the girly - girl activities to do, as well as being entertained by the fabulous main character who lets all women know that they'll grow up to be princesses and live happily ever after with a dream man...

Now lets exand a bit, going onto not - so - close family.

Grandparents

Old fashioned, Blind and losing their minds - all words which you could use in some sentences, but definately not one to do with the parents of your parents. Update to date, hip, cool and fashionableare what your grandparents are - didn't you hear - flowered wallpaper is the new black! So bless your Grandparents with a GBA, preferably a used one with bad speakers and a scratched screen. With their super hearing and sight they'll love this gift, giving each sound effect a little 'what dear?' to make sure that everyone knows they heard it correctly

Aunties/Uncles

All those years of neglecting you when it came to christmas presents has finally come to a head and you need to take action - Why not get them a Games Console? It shows them that you care and that you desrve a present back.

Of course, that is only one side of the coin, and the above is only for little wimps who are scared of a little war. If you want revenge, get them an X - Box - It'll take up their whole house, as well as being impossible to transport home! Also, the 1, 000's of refugees stored inside it will exit the box to pillage their homes and indecently assualt their cats - Good, no?

If you want even MORE gift ideas you can find them in our ultra exclusive 'Gift Finder plus' whch only cost 9 monthly installments of £33.93

Until next time, go get 'em Gift Buyers!
Mon 28/10/02 at 19:11
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
Useful guide, but Ill just pretend I forgot....again
Mon 28/10/02 at 19:08
Regular
"Sex On Wheels"
Posts: 3,526
Great post there Tribute:D I like the ideas (whisper whisper) What do you mean it's not real...? **runs out of the room**
Mon 28/10/02 at 18:14
Regular
"Festivus!"
Posts: 6,228
Perfect Videogaming Presents

Stuck on what games get Grandma for Christmas? Bamboozled what to get your Brother? Mystified on what Mother want for her Birthday? Well we at GOOD Industries (Gaming Over Ordinary Dogs) have come up with the perfect ideas in this smart, handheld guide! We will tell you just about EVERYTHING of which you need to know about what games to get! From Strategy to RTS, all you need to know is here! Read on to find out more...

Lets start out simple, with just the basic, close family and what games they will want for the next money - sucking holiday!

Mother

Many people live under the myth that Mum's hate videogames! WRONG! Others think that they hate blood and guts! HOW SAD! Of course, they act like that to try and put you off - just like they do when they say they don't want a fuss for mothers day - Think about it - they always tell you the opposite of what to do! This is because middle aged woman have a problem expressing what they mean, it is all in the genes! So when they tell you not to pick on little kids, what they really mean is that they want you to steal their dinner money! When they say 'Don't play on the railway track' they're trying to tell you to moon the driver! It is that simple!

So what game does she want for Christmas? Well she always says their is too much violence on television (remember the opposites) so what she really wants is Grand Theft Auto 3, Hitman 2 or the like - she may pretend she doesn't like it and smack you around the house for a few hours, but once you leave she'll be on that console quicker that you can say 'antidisestablishmentarianism'!

Father

Fahers are a tricky one because there are 3 categories - Physical, Geeky and Damn right lazy!

The physical kind are the ones who build all your cabinets and stands gracefully, quickly and easily, using only curse words to cheer himself on whenever he feels that the prject is too easy. It is for this reason you should buy Good Industries 'Never Work Console' (£78.99 from all good internet sites), which is a DIY console. It comes with all the wrong peices od circuitboard, wrong screws and even wrong BOX! Even if, for some ungodly reason, the console manages to get put together, it doesn't even have the correct games to play on! The CD's are not compatiable with the console which mean many more hours of pleasure as he files through the instruction (Which are all in French), giving HUGE replay value. He'll love you for this. BIG TIME!

Geeky fathers are currently on the turn. If you was thinking of getting him an RPG, think again! Role - Playing Games are so out! What he wants is a mindless shoot - em up! Gone are the days when geeks wanted hours of addictive gameplay and intelligent chitter chat over the internet with the only friends they have got (who live in Hawaii), now all nerds want is a good old, complete-it-in- less-than-five-minute, mind numbing gore fest! The sad look of dissapointment on his face? Forget it, he really loves it! Even if he doesn't, what can he do to you? Scare you with an asthma attack? Throw a punch with one of those weedy arms of his? Or the classic - snap his glasses on your head? Don't be scare - just do it.

Fathers who are lazy love a good old, action packed multiplayer game! He may not look all that bothered when he tosses it aside after unravelling it, but nagging him every half hour will cause a festival inside of him. Every time you say 'pretty please' it'll be like a party inside him has just started. He'll eventually cave in and play on it with you. Although he may look annyed and keep glancing at his watch while you pummel his yoshi's face in on Smash Brothers, He is really very excited.

Brother

Your brothers are usually artistic and go against the grain of popularity, hating every fad in sight. No matter what he says, him hanging around with popular kids who think they are hard is just him trying to get some inside information for his artistic mates. Getting him a japanese gamecube then would be the ideal gift, as long as you purchase the latest innovative game and a Japanese to English Dictionary too. Watch his complete look of bordom as he watches a plastic fish drift around a pond, or a bit of mould on a windowsill grow. Brilliance!

Sister

Sisters are quite easy to shop for. Little miss independant and her pro - women ways wants a game where the women is the star. Lara Croft is based on the male audience, and would just cause her to write a letter of complaint to eidos for being so sexist, so the Barbie Horse riding game is probably the best thing for you to purchase for her. She'll love the girly - girl activities to do, as well as being entertained by the fabulous main character who lets all women know that they'll grow up to be princesses and live happily ever after with a dream man...

Now lets exand a bit, going onto not - so - close family.

Grandparents

Old fashioned, Blind and losing their minds - all words which you could use in some sentences, but definately not one to do with the parents of your parents. Update to date, hip, cool and fashionableare what your grandparents are - didn't you hear - flowered wallpaper is the new black! So bless your Grandparents with a GBA, preferably a used one with bad speakers and a scratched screen. With their super hearing and sight they'll love this gift, giving each sound effect a little 'what dear?' to make sure that everyone knows they heard it correctly

Aunties/Uncles

All those years of neglecting you when it came to christmas presents has finally come to a head and you need to take action - Why not get them a Games Console? It shows them that you care and that you desrve a present back.

Of course, that is only one side of the coin, and the above is only for little wimps who are scared of a little war. If you want revenge, get them an X - Box - It'll take up their whole house, as well as being impossible to transport home! Also, the 1, 000's of refugees stored inside it will exit the box to pillage their homes and indecently assualt their cats - Good, no?

If you want even MORE gift ideas you can find them in our ultra exclusive 'Gift Finder plus' whch only cost 9 monthly installments of £33.93

Until next time, go get 'em Gift Buyers!

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