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It was announced by a random member of the public today at Microsoft headquarters that the X-Box has shockingly been announced a "normal" size. Bill Gates and his smug team of software monkeys looked happy at this, and followed it up by announcing that for months a treak of crack mathematicians had been working round the clock in response to the rumours that the X-Box was too big.
Mr Gates said that they had been using state-of-the-art apperatus on this case, for the good of all mankind.When pressed on this, he gave the following quote:
"Y'know, rulers and stuff."
It remains to be seen whether rulers are indeed state-of-the-art, but Bill Gates stalled further comment by not commenting. A masterful stroke. The gathered reporters and plumbers (many of whom were considered to be spies for Nintendo,because they are all plumbers there, aren't they?), gaped in shock as the X-Box was wheeled out. It was indeed of a normal size. The thought 'you've chopped bits off it' came to mind, but the reporters forestalled saying it. The X-Box was then lifted in the air by Mr Gates, a feat no-one had managed before, apparently. Amazing. But it didn't work, due to technical errors i.e. They had broken it.
In other console news, the Gamecube master copy was announced lost today. In a pocket, apparently. It seems the guard had placed the mircoscopic console in his pocket so he could go feed Shigsy, announced Cherie Blair in Toyoko today. Unfortunately, the crowd flocked as she opened her mouth, crying "Aiii! Gayaka! GODZILLA!".
In other news, Cherie Blair has been cast as Godzilla in the upcoming Godzilla movie.
Shigsy was immediately led out to assure the crowd that the Gamecube was NOT freakishly small, camp and childish, but he got as far as two steps before he escaped restraints and began to eat his hair. Grave day.
Meanwhile, Sony announced they were developing a new console that would make the SNES and Mega Drive obselete. The name they are apparently tossing around is "PlaySation." When informed they had already developed this and it's sequel, the PlayStation 2, they gibbered and sent out their crack negotiator, who replied Metal Gear Solid 2 and Grand Theft Auto 3 to every question. When informed that the X-box definitely had GTA3 and is rumoured to be getting MGS2, he replied....Metal Gear Solid 2. Then some fool appeared and pointed out that the PS2 was less powerful than the X-Box. This shocked them, and they announced they'd spend millions on new technology known as rulers and stuff to rectify this problem.
Oh yeah, X-Box go bust and make game, Nintendo go bust and make game, PS2 do well and go bust and make game yadda yadda.
Mr Gates said that they had been using state-of-the-art apperatus on this case, for the good of all mankind.When pressed on this, he gave the following quote:
"Y'know, rulers and stuff."
It remains to be seen whether rulers are indeed state-of-the-art, but Bill Gates stalled further comment by not commenting. A masterful stroke. The gathered reporters and plumbers (many of whom were considered to be spies for Nintendo,because they are all plumbers there, aren't they?), gaped in shock as the X-Box was wheeled out. It was indeed of a normal size. The thought 'you've chopped bits off it' came to mind, but the reporters forestalled saying it. The X-Box was then lifted in the air by Mr Gates, a feat no-one had managed before, apparently. Amazing. But it didn't work, due to technical errors i.e. They had broken it.
In other console news, the Gamecube master copy was announced lost today. In a pocket, apparently. It seems the guard had placed the mircoscopic console in his pocket so he could go feed Shigsy, announced Cherie Blair in Toyoko today. Unfortunately, the crowd flocked as she opened her mouth, crying "Aiii! Gayaka! GODZILLA!".
In other news, Cherie Blair has been cast as Godzilla in the upcoming Godzilla movie.
Shigsy was immediately led out to assure the crowd that the Gamecube was NOT freakishly small, camp and childish, but he got as far as two steps before he escaped restraints and began to eat his hair. Grave day.
Meanwhile, Sony announced they were developing a new console that would make the SNES and Mega Drive obselete. The name they are apparently tossing around is "PlaySation." When informed they had already developed this and it's sequel, the PlayStation 2, they gibbered and sent out their crack negotiator, who replied Metal Gear Solid 2 and Grand Theft Auto 3 to every question. When informed that the X-box definitely had GTA3 and is rumoured to be getting MGS2, he replied....Metal Gear Solid 2. Then some fool appeared and pointed out that the PS2 was less powerful than the X-Box. This shocked them, and they announced they'd spend millions on new technology known as rulers and stuff to rectify this problem.
Oh yeah, X-Box go bust and make game, Nintendo go bust and make game, PS2 do well and go bust and make game yadda yadda.
Heh. It seems to have failed.
Horribly.
Horribly.
You know, I thought this was a serious topic at first!
How wrong I was, eh?
How wrong I was, eh?
It was announced by a random member of the public today at Microsoft headquarters that the X-Box has shockingly been announced a "normal" size. Bill Gates and his smug team of software monkeys looked happy at this, and followed it up by announcing that for months a treak of crack mathematicians had been working round the clock in response to the rumours that the X-Box was too big.
Mr Gates said that they had been using state-of-the-art apperatus on this case, for the good of all mankind.When pressed on this, he gave the following quote:
"Y'know, rulers and stuff."
It remains to be seen whether rulers are indeed state-of-the-art, but Bill Gates stalled further comment by not commenting. A masterful stroke. The gathered reporters and plumbers (many of whom were considered to be spies for Nintendo,because they are all plumbers there, aren't they?), gaped in shock as the X-Box was wheeled out. It was indeed of a normal size. The thought 'you've chopped bits off it' came to mind, but the reporters forestalled saying it. The X-Box was then lifted in the air by Mr Gates, a feat no-one had managed before, apparently. Amazing. But it didn't work, due to technical errors i.e. They had broken it.
In other console news, the Gamecube master copy was announced lost today. In a pocket, apparently. It seems the guard had placed the mircoscopic console in his pocket so he could go feed Shigsy, announced Cherie Blair in Toyoko today. Unfortunately, the crowd flocked as she opened her mouth, crying "Aiii! Gayaka! GODZILLA!".
In other news, Cherie Blair has been cast as Godzilla in the upcoming Godzilla movie.
Shigsy was immediately led out to assure the crowd that the Gamecube was NOT freakishly small, camp and childish, but he got as far as two steps before he escaped restraints and began to eat his hair. Grave day.
Meanwhile, Sony announced they were developing a new console that would make the SNES and Mega Drive obselete. The name they are apparently tossing around is "PlaySation." When informed they had already developed this and it's sequel, the PlayStation 2, they gibbered and sent out their crack negotiator, who replied Metal Gear Solid 2 and Grand Theft Auto 3 to every question. When informed that the X-box definitely had GTA3 and is rumoured to be getting MGS2, he replied....Metal Gear Solid 2. Then some fool appeared and pointed out that the PS2 was less powerful than the X-Box. This shocked them, and they announced they'd spend millions on new technology known as rulers and stuff to rectify this problem.
Oh yeah, X-Box go bust and make game, Nintendo go bust and make game, PS2 do well and go bust and make game yadda yadda.
Mr Gates said that they had been using state-of-the-art apperatus on this case, for the good of all mankind.When pressed on this, he gave the following quote:
"Y'know, rulers and stuff."
It remains to be seen whether rulers are indeed state-of-the-art, but Bill Gates stalled further comment by not commenting. A masterful stroke. The gathered reporters and plumbers (many of whom were considered to be spies for Nintendo,because they are all plumbers there, aren't they?), gaped in shock as the X-Box was wheeled out. It was indeed of a normal size. The thought 'you've chopped bits off it' came to mind, but the reporters forestalled saying it. The X-Box was then lifted in the air by Mr Gates, a feat no-one had managed before, apparently. Amazing. But it didn't work, due to technical errors i.e. They had broken it.
In other console news, the Gamecube master copy was announced lost today. In a pocket, apparently. It seems the guard had placed the mircoscopic console in his pocket so he could go feed Shigsy, announced Cherie Blair in Toyoko today. Unfortunately, the crowd flocked as she opened her mouth, crying "Aiii! Gayaka! GODZILLA!".
In other news, Cherie Blair has been cast as Godzilla in the upcoming Godzilla movie.
Shigsy was immediately led out to assure the crowd that the Gamecube was NOT freakishly small, camp and childish, but he got as far as two steps before he escaped restraints and began to eat his hair. Grave day.
Meanwhile, Sony announced they were developing a new console that would make the SNES and Mega Drive obselete. The name they are apparently tossing around is "PlaySation." When informed they had already developed this and it's sequel, the PlayStation 2, they gibbered and sent out their crack negotiator, who replied Metal Gear Solid 2 and Grand Theft Auto 3 to every question. When informed that the X-box definitely had GTA3 and is rumoured to be getting MGS2, he replied....Metal Gear Solid 2. Then some fool appeared and pointed out that the PS2 was less powerful than the X-Box. This shocked them, and they announced they'd spend millions on new technology known as rulers and stuff to rectify this problem.
Oh yeah, X-Box go bust and make game, Nintendo go bust and make game, PS2 do well and go bust and make game yadda yadda.