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Sega today announced their revolutionary new plans for a new system, currently codenamed ‘Project Penguin’ to a surprised audience during a press conference.
Having failed commercially with their last two consoles, Sega have decided to take a different approach to making money from the gaming community. Instead of attempting to create a faster, more powerful console, Sega are intending to release a series of stand alone games that do not need a console, or even a television set, to operate.
“The new games operate via visual link to the players retina,” says Mr. Yamawotsit, head honcho at Sega. “We have utilized new ultraviolet technology to make light bounce from the game into the players eyes. It’s all very exiting”.
According to Sega, these new games adapt themselves to the player. For instance, if you envisage the protagonist to be good looking, then he will often be good looking. It is said that this only works for certain parts of certain games – sometimes, the game is coded so that the character will have a particular skin colour, or your environment will have a certain feature.
Another new feature is the idea of a single programmer for the entire game. This is almost regressing to the time when the gaming industry was spotty geeks pecking away at their keyboards in garages. The idea of a single programmer writing the whole game may make it seem like the games will be terrible, but Sega assure me that this is not the case.
“We have invented a whole new programming language. It’s so simple that an 8 year old could make a reasonable stab at programming something coherent”. It apparently consists of 26 characters, along with a few other symbols that have special names.
The single programmer idea should also allow one mans vision to be fully realized in a game, something that, up until now, only a handful of immensely budgeted games have been able to do.
What’s even more revolutionary, is that Sega are planning to utilize the ‘emotion engine’ that will be planted in you before you r…play your first game. It is completely free of silicon, or any kind of processor, and will actually be put into your body before play, so it’s got the best transport system ever.
And it doesn’t even need a handle to do this.
The coup de grace of Segas plans is the killer announcement that they already have an enormous back catalogue available! “We have stockpiles of games in every major city, and most towns in Britain” says a Sega spokesman. “In London, we have over 60,000 unique b…games in one of these stockpiles, which we have decided to call ‘libraries’. You can even rent these games for free, as long as you give them back within three weeks!”
These games should be out very soon, and early titles include:
Animal Farm – Geroge Orwell
Last Exit To Brooklyn – Hurburt Selby Jr.
The Beach – Alex Garland
Nintendo have tried to counter these plans already, saying they will use the same technology to release:
My First Game
Spot The Dog
Having failed commercially with their last two consoles, Sega have decided to take a different approach to making money from the gaming community. Instead of attempting to create a faster, more powerful console, Sega are intending to release a series of stand alone games that do not need a console, or even a television set, to operate.
“The new games operate via visual link to the players retina,” says Mr. Yamawotsit, head honcho at Sega. “We have utilized new ultraviolet technology to make light bounce from the game into the players eyes. It’s all very exiting”.
According to Sega, these new games adapt themselves to the player. For instance, if you envisage the protagonist to be good looking, then he will often be good looking. It is said that this only works for certain parts of certain games – sometimes, the game is coded so that the character will have a particular skin colour, or your environment will have a certain feature.
Another new feature is the idea of a single programmer for the entire game. This is almost regressing to the time when the gaming industry was spotty geeks pecking away at their keyboards in garages. The idea of a single programmer writing the whole game may make it seem like the games will be terrible, but Sega assure me that this is not the case.
“We have invented a whole new programming language. It’s so simple that an 8 year old could make a reasonable stab at programming something coherent”. It apparently consists of 26 characters, along with a few other symbols that have special names.
The single programmer idea should also allow one mans vision to be fully realized in a game, something that, up until now, only a handful of immensely budgeted games have been able to do.
What’s even more revolutionary, is that Sega are planning to utilize the ‘emotion engine’ that will be planted in you before you r…play your first game. It is completely free of silicon, or any kind of processor, and will actually be put into your body before play, so it’s got the best transport system ever.
And it doesn’t even need a handle to do this.
The coup de grace of Segas plans is the killer announcement that they already have an enormous back catalogue available! “We have stockpiles of games in every major city, and most towns in Britain” says a Sega spokesman. “In London, we have over 60,000 unique b…games in one of these stockpiles, which we have decided to call ‘libraries’. You can even rent these games for free, as long as you give them back within three weeks!”
These games should be out very soon, and early titles include:
Animal Farm – Geroge Orwell
Last Exit To Brooklyn – Hurburt Selby Jr.
The Beach – Alex Garland
Nintendo have tried to counter these plans already, saying they will use the same technology to release:
My First Game
Spot The Dog
Sega today announced their revolutionary new plans for a new system, currently codenamed ‘Project Penguin’ to a surprised audience during a press conference.
Having failed commercially with their last two consoles, Sega have decided to take a different approach to making money from the gaming community. Instead of attempting to create a faster, more powerful console, Sega are intending to release a series of stand alone games that do not need a console, or even a television set, to operate.
“The new games operate via visual link to the players retina,” says Mr. Yamawotsit, head honcho at Sega. “We have utilized new ultraviolet technology to make light bounce from the game into the players eyes. It’s all very exiting”.
According to Sega, these new games adapt themselves to the player. For instance, if you envisage the protagonist to be good looking, then he will often be good looking. It is said that this only works for certain parts of certain games – sometimes, the game is coded so that the character will have a particular skin colour, or your environment will have a certain feature.
Another new feature is the idea of a single programmer for the entire game. This is almost regressing to the time when the gaming industry was spotty geeks pecking away at their keyboards in garages. The idea of a single programmer writing the whole game may make it seem like the games will be terrible, but Sega assure me that this is not the case.
“We have invented a whole new programming language. It’s so simple that an 8 year old could make a reasonable stab at programming something coherent”. It apparently consists of 26 characters, along with a few other symbols that have special names.
The single programmer idea should also allow one mans vision to be fully realized in a game, something that, up until now, only a handful of immensely budgeted games have been able to do.
What’s even more revolutionary, is that Sega are planning to utilize the ‘emotion engine’ that will be planted in you before you r…play your first game. It is completely free of silicon, or any kind of processor, and will actually be put into your body before play, so it’s got the best transport system ever.
And it doesn’t even need a handle to do this.
The coup de grace of Segas plans is the killer announcement that they already have an enormous back catalogue available! “We have stockpiles of games in every major city, and most towns in Britain” says a Sega spokesman. “In London, we have over 60,000 unique b…games in one of these stockpiles, which we have decided to call ‘libraries’. You can even rent these games for free, as long as you give them back within three weeks!”
These games should be out very soon, and early titles include:
Animal Farm – Geroge Orwell
Last Exit To Brooklyn – Hurburt Selby Jr.
The Beach – Alex Garland
Nintendo have tried to counter these plans already, saying they will use the same technology to release:
My First Game
Spot The Dog
Having failed commercially with their last two consoles, Sega have decided to take a different approach to making money from the gaming community. Instead of attempting to create a faster, more powerful console, Sega are intending to release a series of stand alone games that do not need a console, or even a television set, to operate.
“The new games operate via visual link to the players retina,” says Mr. Yamawotsit, head honcho at Sega. “We have utilized new ultraviolet technology to make light bounce from the game into the players eyes. It’s all very exiting”.
According to Sega, these new games adapt themselves to the player. For instance, if you envisage the protagonist to be good looking, then he will often be good looking. It is said that this only works for certain parts of certain games – sometimes, the game is coded so that the character will have a particular skin colour, or your environment will have a certain feature.
Another new feature is the idea of a single programmer for the entire game. This is almost regressing to the time when the gaming industry was spotty geeks pecking away at their keyboards in garages. The idea of a single programmer writing the whole game may make it seem like the games will be terrible, but Sega assure me that this is not the case.
“We have invented a whole new programming language. It’s so simple that an 8 year old could make a reasonable stab at programming something coherent”. It apparently consists of 26 characters, along with a few other symbols that have special names.
The single programmer idea should also allow one mans vision to be fully realized in a game, something that, up until now, only a handful of immensely budgeted games have been able to do.
What’s even more revolutionary, is that Sega are planning to utilize the ‘emotion engine’ that will be planted in you before you r…play your first game. It is completely free of silicon, or any kind of processor, and will actually be put into your body before play, so it’s got the best transport system ever.
And it doesn’t even need a handle to do this.
The coup de grace of Segas plans is the killer announcement that they already have an enormous back catalogue available! “We have stockpiles of games in every major city, and most towns in Britain” says a Sega spokesman. “In London, we have over 60,000 unique b…games in one of these stockpiles, which we have decided to call ‘libraries’. You can even rent these games for free, as long as you give them back within three weeks!”
These games should be out very soon, and early titles include:
Animal Farm – Geroge Orwell
Last Exit To Brooklyn – Hurburt Selby Jr.
The Beach – Alex Garland
Nintendo have tried to counter these plans already, saying they will use the same technology to release:
My First Game
Spot The Dog
I thought you may have saved this one for April 1st...but alas no!
Still, you never know what will happen. The monkeys already have a head start and mental pong is on its way to the simians, so it won't be long before the Nintendo head chips are created.
Then, of course, we'll have the problems and the takeover from Microsoft, which will lead to a group of chancers in a flying car and Tardis having to fight the forces of evil, but that's another story.
Still, you never know what will happen. The monkeys already have a head start and mental pong is on its way to the simians, so it won't be long before the Nintendo head chips are created.
Then, of course, we'll have the problems and the takeover from Microsoft, which will lead to a group of chancers in a flying car and Tardis having to fight the forces of evil, but that's another story.
Damn.
Pb missed the point. My sarcasm is too well hidden.
Book.
Pb missed the point. My sarcasm is too well hidden.
Book.
Any idea if Nintendo's retaliatory launch line up will feature "Roger Red Hat"? or any of Hargreaves' legendary "Mr Men" epics? I really hope so!
WOW! 1st Aprile coming up already! AHHHHHH... need to think of ideas aimed at Er-no...
Sonic
Sonic