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Religion in videogaming is a hot topic of late. Hitman 2 has come under fire for it's 'racist' content which includes killing people that wear turbans. Ridunculous, I hear gerrid say, and I heartily agree. Is the lack of religion in gaming contributing to the fact that whenever somebody's views are revealed, the media somehow contrives to make the game evil and racist? Well, if it is, then I am the Future of Gaming, because I've thought up some simply fabulous ideas for games that involve both fun AND religion! Let's go:
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING: THE GAME
The smash-hit play-turned-movie comes to the XBOX! You play A Greek Woman who decides to finally wed...a non-Greek man! Hilarity ensues! Involving stealth levels where you have to hide your fiancee from your family, RPG sections where you must talk to the various wedding organisers in order to get information on what the hell your wedding is going to be like, and of course, a tremendous lightgun section set during the ceremony! With astute observational humour, family cliches and lots of Greek in-jokes, this one's sure to both educate and excite!
YOU ARE GOD
In this cleverly-named third person action adventure, you play God. You must build up your legend, from scaring the crap out of Moses by becoming a burning bush to raping the poor, innocent Virgin Mary. Filled with easily recogniseable set pieces and stunning environments such as The Land Of Milk and Honey and The Top of Mount Sinai, you can live out the Bible as if you were really there! As the game goes on you must keep your faith metre full, and along the way you can pick up magic bonuses, such as Holy War tablets, and Terrible Natural Disaster cards. Featuring Graham Norton as the voice of God.
CIRCUMSYCHOPATH
You play as Muslim-turned-madman Choppy Your Peepee, who has finally snapped after thirty years of circumcizing teenage boys. Featuring four square miles of stunningly recreated Mecca, you can cruise the mean streets using your devastating arsenal of foreskin eradication tools to wreak havoc amongst innocent civilians. Also, you can take missions from the various prophets dotted around town, unlocking new temples and scriptures, and ultimately, the true vision of Allah.
SUPER MONKEY BUDDHISTS
Sega's latest masterpiece sees you controlling a sacred monkey, sealed in a ball of positive energy. You must make your way through thirty three levels, in order to reach true enlightenment and be free to live on in the heavens for all eternity. Featuring a barn-storming soundtrack from Nirvana (hahaha), and such party games as 'fasting' and 'sitting there under a tree with your eyes shut like you've just had a stroke'.
ESCAPE FROM AUSCHWITZ
The touchiest subject tackled by a videogame since EA Sport's "N****r Lynching 1925", you'll have to escape from the most atrocious concentration camp ever created. Featuring cut-scenes full of gassed women, starving adolescents and piles of shoes, the game is horrific...horrifically fun, that is! Sneak past the Nazis whilst they busy themselves torturing innocent children, help smuggle in food, and whatever you do...don't have a shower! The game will all be in black and white, except for some girl that symbolises something. Bad programming, most likely.
Thanks for reading. Have you got any ideas for religious games?
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING: THE GAME
The smash-hit play-turned-movie comes to the XBOX! You play A Greek Woman who decides to finally wed...a non-Greek man! Hilarity ensues! Involving stealth levels where you have to hide your fiancee from your family, RPG sections where you must talk to the various wedding organisers in order to get information on what the hell your wedding is going to be like, and of course, a tremendous lightgun section set during the ceremony! With astute observational humour, family cliches and lots of Greek in-jokes, this one's sure to both educate and excite!
YOU ARE GOD
In this cleverly-named third person action adventure, you play God. You must build up your legend, from scaring the crap out of Moses by becoming a burning bush to raping the poor, innocent Virgin Mary. Filled with easily recogniseable set pieces and stunning environments such as The Land Of Milk and Honey and The Top of Mount Sinai, you can live out the Bible as if you were really there! As the game goes on you must keep your faith metre full, and along the way you can pick up magic bonuses, such as Holy War tablets, and Terrible Natural Disaster cards. Featuring Graham Norton as the voice of God.
CIRCUMSYCHOPATH
You play as Muslim-turned-madman Choppy Your Peepee, who has finally snapped after thirty years of circumcizing teenage boys. Featuring four square miles of stunningly recreated Mecca, you can cruise the mean streets using your devastating arsenal of foreskin eradication tools to wreak havoc amongst innocent civilians. Also, you can take missions from the various prophets dotted around town, unlocking new temples and scriptures, and ultimately, the true vision of Allah.
SUPER MONKEY BUDDHISTS
Sega's latest masterpiece sees you controlling a sacred monkey, sealed in a ball of positive energy. You must make your way through thirty three levels, in order to reach true enlightenment and be free to live on in the heavens for all eternity. Featuring a barn-storming soundtrack from Nirvana (hahaha), and such party games as 'fasting' and 'sitting there under a tree with your eyes shut like you've just had a stroke'.
ESCAPE FROM AUSCHWITZ
The touchiest subject tackled by a videogame since EA Sport's "N****r Lynching 1925", you'll have to escape from the most atrocious concentration camp ever created. Featuring cut-scenes full of gassed women, starving adolescents and piles of shoes, the game is horrific...horrifically fun, that is! Sneak past the Nazis whilst they busy themselves torturing innocent children, help smuggle in food, and whatever you do...don't have a shower! The game will all be in black and white, except for some girl that symbolises something. Bad programming, most likely.
Thanks for reading. Have you got any ideas for religious games?
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Goof wrote:
> El Blokey wrote:
> I don't think any of it was particularly offensive
>
>
> Well I find it very offensive you fool.
Sorry. I probably should have put a disclaimer.
>raping the poor, innocent Virgin Mary
>
> Is an extremely offensive statement. There is nothing funny about
> rape. And used in this context will offend any Christian.
Well, my belief is that the way it's written, Mary didn't want to have a kid, much less God's. He 'raped' her, so to speak.
> And you say that a racist remark like this is not offensive - you are
> a total twunt (thanks for that one SHEEPY!)
Where did I say I condoned any racial abuse? It was a joke, highlighting how dangerous it would be making a game about a concentration in addition to making a game about the racial discrimination that went on in America in the early 20th Century.
> You obviously pay little attention to your timing when posting this
> garbage - maybe you forgot that it is Remembrance / Armastice when you
> posted this - the time when people remember the atrocities that where
> performed by the Nazi's.
I did remember it, I kept my minute's silence and I remembered my dad's dad that served in the war (and luckily returned), as well as the many other wars that have gone in. Although Rememberance Day's date is based around the armistice, it is actually the time when people remember the people around the world that have died as a result of war.
> You are a fool and I will report this post - it offends deeply.
I'm not a fool, but if you were offended then by all means use the feature. If SR feel it's inappropriate they should warn/ban me, and believe me, if I post something like this again I will warn of potentially offensive sections.
> El Blokey wrote:
> I don't think any of it was particularly offensive
>
>
> Well I find it very offensive you fool.
Sorry. I probably should have put a disclaimer.
>raping the poor, innocent Virgin Mary
>
> Is an extremely offensive statement. There is nothing funny about
> rape. And used in this context will offend any Christian.
Well, my belief is that the way it's written, Mary didn't want to have a kid, much less God's. He 'raped' her, so to speak.
> And you say that a racist remark like this is not offensive - you are
> a total twunt (thanks for that one SHEEPY!)
Where did I say I condoned any racial abuse? It was a joke, highlighting how dangerous it would be making a game about a concentration in addition to making a game about the racial discrimination that went on in America in the early 20th Century.
> You obviously pay little attention to your timing when posting this
> garbage - maybe you forgot that it is Remembrance / Armastice when you
> posted this - the time when people remember the atrocities that where
> performed by the Nazi's.
I did remember it, I kept my minute's silence and I remembered my dad's dad that served in the war (and luckily returned), as well as the many other wars that have gone in. Although Rememberance Day's date is based around the armistice, it is actually the time when people remember the people around the world that have died as a result of war.
> You are a fool and I will report this post - it offends deeply.
I'm not a fool, but if you were offended then by all means use the feature. If SR feel it's inappropriate they should warn/ban me, and believe me, if I post something like this again I will warn of potentially offensive sections.
El Blokey wrote:
> I don't think any of it was particularly offensive
Well I find it very offensive you fool.
>raping the poor, innocent Virgin Mary
Is an extremely offensive statement. There is nothing funny about rape. And used in this context will offend any Christian.
>N****r Lynching 1925
And you say that a racist remark like this is not offensive - you are a total twunt (thanks for that one SHEEPY!)
> Featuring cut-scenes full of gassed women, starving adolescents and piles of shoes, the game is horrific...horrifically fun, that is
You obviously pay little attention to your timing when posting this garbage - maybe you forgot that it is Remembrance / Armastice when you posted this - the time when people remember the atrocities that where performed by the Nazi's.
You are a fool and I will report this post - it offends deeply.
> I don't think any of it was particularly offensive
Well I find it very offensive you fool.
>raping the poor, innocent Virgin Mary
Is an extremely offensive statement. There is nothing funny about rape. And used in this context will offend any Christian.
>N****r Lynching 1925
And you say that a racist remark like this is not offensive - you are a total twunt (thanks for that one SHEEPY!)
> Featuring cut-scenes full of gassed women, starving adolescents and piles of shoes, the game is horrific...horrifically fun, that is
You obviously pay little attention to your timing when posting this garbage - maybe you forgot that it is Remembrance / Armastice when you posted this - the time when people remember the atrocities that where performed by the Nazi's.
You are a fool and I will report this post - it offends deeply.
I wonder where you got the inspiration from to do this topic?
eh?
eh?
monkey starvation, feed him a grain of rice a day, and make im sit on fire, maybe gon gon will get skinnier and stop looking like such a retard
Quinty wrote:
> The last section of my post was sarcasm El Blokey hence the smiley
> *Bangs head on keyboard*
Going on the tone of your other posts, it could have been serious. Was it sarcasm starting from 'I wouldn't vote for you because..' or just the 'I could do better'?
> And how is watching women and chlidren being gassed fun?
A joke. In the same way that paedophile episode of brass eye had jokes about sex offences.
There were jokes made of 9/11 (such as BA's new service flying you straight to your office). Some said it was in bad taste, but with time we'll have to make jokes about it.
> The last section of my post was sarcasm El Blokey hence the smiley
> *Bangs head on keyboard*
Going on the tone of your other posts, it could have been serious. Was it sarcasm starting from 'I wouldn't vote for you because..' or just the 'I could do better'?
> And how is watching women and chlidren being gassed fun?
A joke. In the same way that paedophile episode of brass eye had jokes about sex offences.
There were jokes made of 9/11 (such as BA's new service flying you straight to your office). Some said it was in bad taste, but with time we'll have to make jokes about it.
Typical...
;-)
;-)
Quinty, thought you were leaving cos SR were 'victimising' you by not selecting your stuff for GAD? Still, you won recently, meaning you're gunna stay. Meh.
The last section of my post was sarcasm El Blokey hence the smiley *Bangs head on keyboard*
And how is watching women and chlidren being gassed fun?
And how is watching women and chlidren being gassed fun?
I know you meant no offense, and like I said I think your posts are usually always pretty good, it just didn't seem like appropriate material, that's all.
I don't think any of it was particularly offensive, potentially excluding the Auschwitz one. Although being Jewish myself, I've been brought up all to aware of the horrors and think nothing of talking about it because I know how bad it was. If you see what I mean.
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