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"MoJo's The Thing"

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Fri 15/03/02 at 19:46
Regular
Posts: 787
MoJoJoJo's The Thing


*Antarctica*

*A chopper is flying around, shooting at a dog*

*The chopper flies over a base, with SR Towers on the sign*


Shaneo - What the?

CDouch - Hey, that's an American chopper

AfroJoe - What are they doing flying so low?

*The dog runs up to Solskjaer 24 and jumps up onto him*

*A guy gets out of the chopper which has landed*

American - Hey, dude, gimme the dog!

Stryke - What?

American - LOL

AfroJoe - What's he saying?

Stryke - I don't know, I can't understand him

American - ROFLMAO

MoJoJoJo - What's all the ruckus?

*The American starts shooting at the dog, everyone ducks for cover*

AfroJoe - Argh! I'm hit!

*Ant pulls out a gun and shoots the American*

American - That hurts IMO!

*He drops dead*

MoJoJoJo - Why were they after a dog?

CDouch - Maybe they hate them as much as Stryke does

Stryke - What? I don't hate dogs!

MoJoJoJo - You hate everything, Stryke

Sol - I'll take it inside

*That night*

*MoJoJoJo is drinking a Bud, CDouch and Your Honour are playing ping pong*

Afro Joe - Argh! Jeebus, will you get this dog out of here, Sol, I was shot today!

Sol - Yeah, OK

*Sol leads the dog out of the room and down the corridor*

Stryke - So anyway, I was bashing this newbie against the wall, and-

*The alarm goes off*

Everyone - What the?

*They run to the kennels where Sol is stood, looking terrified*

MoJoJoJo - What is it?

Sol - I don't know!

MoJoJoJo - Stryke, go get the flamethrower

Stryke - Why should I have to get it?

*Later, MoJo and Stryke venture into the kennel where the dogs are barking*

MoJoJoJo - Look, up there!

*In the corner is a lump of flesh, with a dog's head, and legs coming out of its butt*

Everyone - Argh!

Rakuga - Look, it's got Will from Pop Idol coming out of its side!

Will from Pop Idol - Hi everyone, I'm Will from Pop Idol, did you know I'm gay? I'm also a record breaker

Everyone - Arrrrgh!

MoJoJoJo - Stryke, torch it!

Stryke - Why should I have to do it?

MoJoJoJo - Just burn it!

*Stryke sprays it with flame, it drops from the ceiling onto the floor*

Will from Pop Idol - Noooooooo!

*Next day*

Stryke - So these people came by my door asking for money... some charity or something, so I got my boiling oil and poured it out the-

Kid Rock - Hey, who put their dirty kegs in my bin? My kitchen is not a dumping ground!

Ant - Whose are they?

Kid Rock - I dunno, the name tag has been ripped off

*CDouch walks in*

MoJoJoJo - Hey, did you finish looking at that thing from last night?

CDouch - Yeah... I tell you, I've seen some things in my life... Windows 95, the launch of the X-Box, Shaneo being banned for the 10th time and coming back again... but never anything like this

MoJoJoJo - What is it?

CDouch - I dunno, AfroJoe and Shaneo are moving it into the store room. When Mr Snuggly finally lets us out of here, we'll get it to a proper science lab

*Shaneo comes running in*

Shaneo - It's AfroJoe!

*They all run to the store room, it's empty*

Shaneo - I tell you, he was right there, that thing had him!

Stryke - There's nothing here... is this like the time you told us you were related to Elvis?

Shaneo - He was right there!

MoJoJoJo - Hey, look, there he is, outside!

*They run outside where AfroJoe is trying to get away*

*They catch up to him, he has an X-Box for a hand*

Ant - Argh! It's hideous! Cut it off! Cut it off!

Rakuga - It's not AfroJoe

*MoJoJoJo kicks over a conveniently placed barrel of fuel and it spills all over Afro Joe*

MoJoJoJo - Stand back!

*He throws his flare onto AfroJoe, and he ignites

AfroJoe - I'm melting, I'm melting! Oh what a world, what a world!

*Back inside*

MoJoJoJo - It wasn't AfroJoe... it was something else. I think the same thing that was happening with the dog happened to him. It tried to digest and copy him

Stryke - How do you know that?

MoJoJoJo - Haven't you ever seen that film The Thing?

*Next morning*

MoJoJoJo - That thing ripped through AfroJoe's clothes when it tried to copy him, and Kid Rock found these ripped pants in his bin... that means one of us is the thing

Stryke - What makes you so sure? How do we know you're not the thing?

MoJoJoJo - Because I'm the main character, duh, it'd be stupid if I was the thing

Shaneo - Yeah but it could be a plot twist

MoJoJoJo - Look, I'm not the thing, alright? Now, I reckon if we test someone's blood, we can see if they're human. CDouch, we got blood?

CDouch - Yeah, follow me

*They go into his office, there are blood bags all over the room, with blood everywhere*

CDouch - What the?

Rakuga - Someone got to the blood!

Stryke - I think it was MoJoJoJo

Ant - But he thought of the test

Stryke - Look, I trust him about as much as the SR staff trust Shaneo

CDouch - Sol, how long were you alone with that dog?

Sol - An hour, hour and a half... why are you looking at me like that?

CDouch - I'm c***-eyed... Look, we're gonna have to take new blood samples

Stryke - I ain't letting any of you stab a needle into me! Any one of you could be the thing!

MoJoJoJo - We'll use a knife, we'll cut our thumbs and put the blood under a hot flame, that ought to do it

Stryke - You seem to know an awful lot about this kind of thing

MoJoJoJo - Yeah, I used to watch 999... Hey, where's Your Honour?

Everyone - Your Honour! Where are you?

MoJoJoJo - We'll have to go look for him, OK, I'll split us into pairs to increase the odds of someone getting killed... I'll go with Rakuga, Ant can go with Goatboy, Stryke can go with Shaneo

Stryke - I ain't going with Shaneo!

Shaneo - Hey, *beep* you!

Stryke - You mother *beep*ing piece of *beep*

MoJoJoJo - Guys, guys, this isn't Jerry Springer!

Rakuga - Yeah, that was the other day

MoJoJoJo - Let's go

*Outside*

*MoJoJoJo and Rakuga are checking the shed*

*Kid Rock comes running up*

Kid Rock - We've found him!

*They go running inside, Your Honour is smashing up the radio equipment, Shaneo is on the floor, bleeding*

MoJoJoJo - What happened here?

Kid Rock - He just went mental, saying something about not having any respect since he was elected a notable. He's smashed up all our radio stuff and killed the rest of the dogs

*Sol runs off to check on the dogs*

MoJoJoJo - OK, we'll all rush him, agreed?

Goatboy, Rakuga, Kid Rock and er no - Agreed

MoJoJoJo - OK... one... two... THREE!

*MoJoJoJo runs through the door, everyone else stays behind*

MoJoJoJo - You sons of bit-

*Your Honour swings an axe at him*

*MoJoJoJo smacks him in the head and he goes down*

MoJoJoJo - Tie him up, Shaneo are you OK?

Shaneo - Yeah...

Stryke - Not any more!

*He kicks Shaneo*

Goatboy - Ow!

Everyone - What is it?

*Goatboy passes out*

CDouch - He's having a heart attack! Quick, get him into my room!

*They carry Goatboy and lay him on CDouch's table*

*CDouch starts giving him mouth to mouth*

*Suddenly Goatboy bites his head off*

CDouch - Arrrrrrgh!

Rakuga - How is he screaming if he just had his head bitten off...? I mean, OH MY GOD!

MoJoJoJo - Get the flamethrowers!

Stryke - Why should I have to-

MoJoJoJo - Just do it!

*They burn Goatboy, whose head falls off*

*Later on*

*Everyone but MoJoJoJo is tied to the sofa*

MoJoJoJo - OK, sorry I had to tie all you guys up, but I'm pretty sure one of us is still the thing... You know, just a hunch, these things never end that easily... So, I'm gonna show you all I'm not the thing

*He holds a blow torch to a sample of blood*

*Suddenly the blood shoots out of the container*

Everyone - Argh!

MoJoJoJo - Ha ha, fooled you! That wasn't my blood, it was...

*He reads the container*

MoJoJoJo - Er no's...

*Er no starts shaking, bits of string come out his ears and start choking everyone*

Everyone - Aaaaaaargh!

*MoJoJoJo engulfs er no in flame*

MoJoJoJo - Phew, close one

Rakuga - The sofa's on fire! Aaaargh!

MoJoJoJo - Whoops, my bad!

*Later on*

MoJoJoJo - OK, I've tested you all, and you're OK... except for Rakuga who disappeared while I was untying Stryke... We'll look for him later, I'm sure he's OK. Now, we can't radio out, and I checked on Your Honour before, he managed to escape from the shed and destroy our chopper, so we can't fly out. I say we hold up here, OK?

Stryke - Who made you the boss?

MoJoJoJo - Look, I'm not a newbie, leave me alone... Go bug Shaneo

Stryke - Fair enough... *shouts* Shaneo! Where are you! I've got some more complaining to do!

*Later that night*

Kid Rock - I found Rakuga, he burned himself, probably trying to kill himself before it got to him

MoJoJoJo - What? Man I thought we got the last of the things... OK, well I guess it's Your Honour who's the thing, so Kid Rock and I will go down and check on him, OK?

Everyone - OK

*The shed*

MoJoJoJo - Hmm, he's not here, and he's dug a hole through the floorboards. My guess is, he's making a space ship under the base here... Come on, we'll go back and tell everyone

*Back inside*

Stryke - Now's my chance to take control. OK, I'm locking the door once Kid Rock gets in

Shaneo - But-

Stryke - Shut it, spammer, I'm a GAD master, just do as I say!

*Kid Rock comes along*

Kid Rock - Hi guys, what's u-

*Stryke pulls him in and shuts the door, locking it*

Kid Rock - But MoJo's still out there

Stryke - Yeah, but, um... he's the thing... he told me before

Kid Rock - Oh, OK

*Smash*

Ant - What was that?

Sol - It sounded like it came from the store room

Stryke - The window! Quick!

*MoJoJoJo appears, holding a gun*

MoJoJoJo - Now I've had a pretty bad day so far, I haven't won GAD for weeks, I got two Ds in my exams and now you're trying to kill me... So I brought an equaliser

Ant - Come on, man, relax, we all have bad days, not winning any GADs, but I'm sure Mr Snuggly will throw the dart at your name soon enough

*Sol makes a charge for MoJoJoJo, he shoots him*

Stryke - Hey, if you're gonna shoot people, at least cap Shaneo first

Shaneo - Right, that's it! I've had enough of your abuse! Just because we spam and copy reviews doesn't mean we're newbies! One day people like me will rise up and own SR

Stryke - Gimme that!

*He grabs the gun from MoJoJoJo and shoots Shaneo*

Stryke - Man, why didn't I do that a long time ago?

MoJoJoJo - OK, there are four of us now, I say we find Your Honour, and hurt him. We blow up his ship, and blow up the base so he can't go to sleep and wake up when Mr Snuggly comes along to see how much of this month's magazine we've written

*That night, they're setting fire to everything, and throwing sticks of dynamite everywhere*

Ant - Hey, where's Stryke?

Kid Rock - I don't know, I thought he was with you

Ant - I'll go look for him

*Ant goes off*

MoJoJoJo - Hmm, he's been gone a while, you'd better check on him

Kid Rock - It's only been 10 seconds

MoJoJoJo - I said "he's been gone a while, you'd better check on him" - that's your cue to go off and die

Kid Rock - Oh, my bad, I'll be right back

MoJoJoJo - No you won't

*MoJoJoJo sets down a huge box of TNT with a plunger*

*Suddenly it gets sucked under the ground, and a huge monster shoots out of the floorboards*

MoJoJoJo - Wow, what big teeth you have

*He throws a stick of dynamite at it and dives for cover*

*One big explosion later*

*MoJoJoJo is sat, holding a bottle of Scotch*

*Stryke appears*

MoJoJoJo - Where did you get off to?

Stryke - I thought I saw some spam so I went to complain about it

*long pause*

Stryke - Well what do we do now?

MoJoJoJo - Why don't we just wait here for a little while... see what happens


The End
Sat 16/03/02 at 17:15
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
What's wrong with you people! Go see The Thing!

Go on... don't look at me like that! Go... NOW!
Sat 16/03/02 at 14:49
Regular
"Peace Respect Punk"
Posts: 8,069
*cries because he doesn't have a little flag to wave*
Sat 16/03/02 at 12:39
Regular
Posts: 16,548
Wow.

*waves a little flag*
Sat 16/03/02 at 00:03
Regular
"Peace Respect Punk"
Posts: 8,069
hmmm that was pretty good, unfortunate that I haven't actually seen the film though... ah well.

I would moan about not being in it, but that has been done before...

Why wasn't I in it?
;-)
Sat 16/03/02 at 00:01
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Yeah, screaming when you've had your head bitten off... truly is an Oscar winning performance

By the way, anyone who hasn't seen the Thing - do it! Do it now!
Fri 15/03/02 at 21:23
Regular
"Vote For Pedro"
Posts: 5,679
The best character has to be that CDouch guy, he should win an Oscar for his performance.
Fri 15/03/02 at 21:22
Regular
"Fear my wrath..."
Posts: 2,044
I haven't seen the thing so I'm afraid I can't fully enjoy it as much as you intended. However, there were lots of bits I found funny.

Oh, and I don't think slightly abusing Snuggly is a good idea. I know you are only joking but before you know it you will wake up one day and be banned under mysterious circumstances... ah well you can always come back as MoGoGoGo, and when you get banned for that name MOGOGEO like another certain person on this board...
Fri 15/03/02 at 21:10
Regular
Posts: 5,630
now I read your post, would you mind readin g mine 'the killer app' on fog prime?

cheers
Fri 15/03/02 at 20:58
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Don't worry, if I get a good response for this spoof, my next one will feature as many SR users as possible
Fri 15/03/02 at 20:46
Regular
Posts: 5,630
It was funny :-) well done

Unfortunately, I wasn't in it

*head droops even lower*

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