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Moomin Patrol
Monday
First day on the job, and what an exciting one it has been. After having to arrest a group of angry chelumbas for throwing apple sauce at an elderly chigwoga, and falling over a gate, I finally got here.
The office so small. Too small. Bearing in mind this is the only police station for 50 miles, it is too small. We have to put all the criminals in a cupboard. The cupboard where we keep our coats. It's good fun trying to squash 7 chelumbas in with a hippofram and 2 malunkie though.
Our boss, a big plump Moomin Trolley gave us a lecture on how to defend ourselves from apples falling from tree's. I honestly never knew 98 ways to pt you hands on your head, and with such speed.
Then it was time to pair up to go out onto the streets of gerridville and bust some griminals. Seeing as I was the new Moomin I was left out and I had to go with a big fat humongerous Moominstress who had B.O. (Bear Ontaurage) problems. They wouldn't let her near a Boomin 47 (a type of gun) as she kept thinking it was cake and... well, she still has the scars from last time.
When we got out, we split up into different part of the city - I ended up in spammerton, dirtiest, most evilest part of town. It is full of monkus' with wheels who are constantly drunken and throw pairs of pears at you. Fortunately, there was a massive Reggae festival only a few centimetres away so all that was left in town was an iratated chortin, so i hit with my baton.
Why am I writing this report anyway? Well they brought me in because the last Moomin 'left', although I have supiscions - I found a hand in my desk. Also my desk smells funny, kinda like a mistreated mortin on a friday evening. I think the moominstress ate him.
Go to go now... I think the chelumba's are planning to get out of the cupboard
Tuesday
This place keeps getting worse and worse - I think that moominstress is in love with me! When I was at the Veendoing Machine she was give me 'the eyes'. That could have been because I had just bought a chocolate bar, but with these looks and the amount of charm I have, that is as unlikely as getting sense out of Gerrid.
Well, lets leave that for another day, lets get onto buissness - There were a load of tourists outside town hall today - Today being 'Gerriday' across many nations - but seeing as Gerrid left our town in disgrace to Pokeyton we cancelled that. They got rowdy when I told them that he wasn't there anymore - damn Japanese and them not keeping up to date with our news. I had to convince them that it was n00bs who were to blame, and gave them the web addresses of some real spam.
The only other real thing to report about is us getting new typewriters in the office. The plump Moomin Trolley bought them from an 'unnamed source'. Mine is still wet with gasoline and all the rest smell of smoke, which makes me wonder if he got them from the petrol station down the road...
Wednesday
Had to investigate a fire today, downtown. It happened yesterday but the local people only finished pillaging it this morning. The international house of Moomin Trolls was burnt down, but their are few leads. This is the latest in a war between the Moomin Trolls and the Moomin Trolley's. Only last week a supermarket was burnt down.
I only have 3 eye witnesses who all proclaim they saw a fat moomin fleaing from the scene with a gas tank in hand. Strange.
It took me AGES to complete the report all because of that fat moo who I have to work with. She spilt coffee all over my moo paper and my moo pen wouldn't work. Why does everything in this moo town have to have soo many moo's?
The Coffee incident was the only time she came near me all day - she stood near the Veendoing all day PRETENDING to be on the phone, spontaniously laughing at random points to try and make it look real. I know her plot, she was waiing for me to come over so, when I bought somethng and bent down to get it she could see my behind.
Thursday
I saw the moominstress walking around town with a boyfriend in tow as I was on my way to work. I know she set it up as I take hat route to work every morning and a stalker of her caliber could've easily found that out. What she is really trying to is to make jealous, and it's failing. I just slit my wrists this morning because I felt like it, and crying because my work partener took the day off is a natural thing to do.
I didn't do much work today, I just sat at my desk and wrote 'WHY?' thousands of times and, before you ask, I didn't write why because of that fat moominstress. I did it because I had asked myself that morning 'Why is moo cheese so nice?' and couldn't find an answer.
Those Chelumba's just stand outside, tearing down lamposts and vomiting on anybody who dares to walk past. I would go out but I don't want to get sick all over my new suit, and yes I do count 6 years old as new.
Friday
The fat Moomin Trolley wanted to see this today but after I refused he got angry, so I started to shout awful words at him like 'NO!' and 'RUN AWAY!'. I am very disgraced about my behaviour.
He then got nastly and got his baton out to stroke me with, so I distracted him by saying that an apple was falling above him and hid under a table whilst he did one of his special manouvere's
Now I am hiding under the table I've got no idea how I'll get out of this one. This is MY journal and he's not going to take that away from me. You are the only friend I've got. I was bullied in school and my Mother and Father used to say I smelt of fish. I've never been close to anybody.
To compound my misery Moominstress isn't in again. I think she is out with that freak of a boyfriend that she is paying to hang around with her to try and make me angry. I hear rumours that she's been off a lot recently and one more day off will get her the sack. I hope she comes in to...
WHAT THE...? HE'S FOUND ME! GO TO GO!
(More Moomin Patrol Next Week)
Monday
First day on the job, and what an exciting one it has been. After having to arrest a group of angry chelumbas for throwing apple sauce at an elderly chigwoga, and falling over a gate, I finally got here.
The office so small. Too small. Bearing in mind this is the only police station for 50 miles, it is too small. We have to put all the criminals in a cupboard. The cupboard where we keep our coats. It's good fun trying to squash 7 chelumbas in with a hippofram and 2 malunkie though.
Our boss, a big plump Moomin Trolley gave us a lecture on how to defend ourselves from apples falling from tree's. I honestly never knew 98 ways to pt you hands on your head, and with such speed.
Then it was time to pair up to go out onto the streets of gerridville and bust some griminals. Seeing as I was the new Moomin I was left out and I had to go with a big fat humongerous Moominstress who had B.O. (Bear Ontaurage) problems. They wouldn't let her near a Boomin 47 (a type of gun) as she kept thinking it was cake and... well, she still has the scars from last time.
When we got out, we split up into different part of the city - I ended up in spammerton, dirtiest, most evilest part of town. It is full of monkus' with wheels who are constantly drunken and throw pairs of pears at you. Fortunately, there was a massive Reggae festival only a few centimetres away so all that was left in town was an iratated chortin, so i hit with my baton.
Why am I writing this report anyway? Well they brought me in because the last Moomin 'left', although I have supiscions - I found a hand in my desk. Also my desk smells funny, kinda like a mistreated mortin on a friday evening. I think the moominstress ate him.
Go to go now... I think the chelumba's are planning to get out of the cupboard
Tuesday
This place keeps getting worse and worse - I think that moominstress is in love with me! When I was at the Veendoing Machine she was give me 'the eyes'. That could have been because I had just bought a chocolate bar, but with these looks and the amount of charm I have, that is as unlikely as getting sense out of Gerrid.
Well, lets leave that for another day, lets get onto buissness - There were a load of tourists outside town hall today - Today being 'Gerriday' across many nations - but seeing as Gerrid left our town in disgrace to Pokeyton we cancelled that. They got rowdy when I told them that he wasn't there anymore - damn Japanese and them not keeping up to date with our news. I had to convince them that it was n00bs who were to blame, and gave them the web addresses of some real spam.
The only other real thing to report about is us getting new typewriters in the office. The plump Moomin Trolley bought them from an 'unnamed source'. Mine is still wet with gasoline and all the rest smell of smoke, which makes me wonder if he got them from the petrol station down the road...
Wednesday
Had to investigate a fire today, downtown. It happened yesterday but the local people only finished pillaging it this morning. The international house of Moomin Trolls was burnt down, but their are few leads. This is the latest in a war between the Moomin Trolls and the Moomin Trolley's. Only last week a supermarket was burnt down.
I only have 3 eye witnesses who all proclaim they saw a fat moomin fleaing from the scene with a gas tank in hand. Strange.
It took me AGES to complete the report all because of that fat moo who I have to work with. She spilt coffee all over my moo paper and my moo pen wouldn't work. Why does everything in this moo town have to have soo many moo's?
The Coffee incident was the only time she came near me all day - she stood near the Veendoing all day PRETENDING to be on the phone, spontaniously laughing at random points to try and make it look real. I know her plot, she was waiing for me to come over so, when I bought somethng and bent down to get it she could see my behind.
Thursday
I saw the moominstress walking around town with a boyfriend in tow as I was on my way to work. I know she set it up as I take hat route to work every morning and a stalker of her caliber could've easily found that out. What she is really trying to is to make jealous, and it's failing. I just slit my wrists this morning because I felt like it, and crying because my work partener took the day off is a natural thing to do.
I didn't do much work today, I just sat at my desk and wrote 'WHY?' thousands of times and, before you ask, I didn't write why because of that fat moominstress. I did it because I had asked myself that morning 'Why is moo cheese so nice?' and couldn't find an answer.
Those Chelumba's just stand outside, tearing down lamposts and vomiting on anybody who dares to walk past. I would go out but I don't want to get sick all over my new suit, and yes I do count 6 years old as new.
Friday
The fat Moomin Trolley wanted to see this today but after I refused he got angry, so I started to shout awful words at him like 'NO!' and 'RUN AWAY!'. I am very disgraced about my behaviour.
He then got nastly and got his baton out to stroke me with, so I distracted him by saying that an apple was falling above him and hid under a table whilst he did one of his special manouvere's
Now I am hiding under the table I've got no idea how I'll get out of this one. This is MY journal and he's not going to take that away from me. You are the only friend I've got. I was bullied in school and my Mother and Father used to say I smelt of fish. I've never been close to anybody.
To compound my misery Moominstress isn't in again. I think she is out with that freak of a boyfriend that she is paying to hang around with her to try and make me angry. I hear rumours that she's been off a lot recently and one more day off will get her the sack. I hope she comes in to...
WHAT THE...? HE'S FOUND ME! GO TO GO!
(More Moomin Patrol Next Week)
I'll write another one.... Not now, In a years time.
That means there will never be another one, ever.
It shall be an almost weekly thing from this day forth...
yey for etubirT and his Moomin patrol .
I think you should make it a weekly installment.
And what is all this talk of Norris. It is Loris. LORIS!
Malarky Queens
I think you should make it a weekly installment.
And what is all this talk of Norris. It is Loris. LORIS!
Malarky Queens
Slender Norris? Pfft
I shall run. Far away.
I shall run. Far away.
Tribute wrote:
> Moomin mama and Moomin Papa wil get Snuffkin to beat you into a
> fishtake AJ!
---
Fishtake?! Pfft.
I shall slap them hard with a Slender Norris!
> Moomin mama and Moomin Papa wil get Snuffkin to beat you into a
> fishtake AJ!
---
Fishtake?! Pfft.
I shall slap them hard with a Slender Norris!
ACTUALLY the moomins come from Finland, the home of Fins and Land.
Moomin mama and Moomin Papa wil get Snuffkin to beat you into a fishtake AJ!
Moomin mama and Moomin Papa wil get Snuffkin to beat you into a fishtake AJ!
Scary stuff!
The Mooming Patrol are a bunch of sombre Norwegian carrot suckers with big white pointy tails and large faces.
I would stay away.
The Mooming Patrol are a bunch of sombre Norwegian carrot suckers with big white pointy tails and large faces.
I would stay away.
Moomin Patrol
Monday
First day on the job, and what an exciting one it has been. After having to arrest a group of angry chelumbas for throwing apple sauce at an elderly chigwoga, and falling over a gate, I finally got here.
The office so small. Too small. Bearing in mind this is the only police station for 50 miles, it is too small. We have to put all the criminals in a cupboard. The cupboard where we keep our coats. It's good fun trying to squash 7 chelumbas in with a hippofram and 2 malunkie though.
Our boss, a big plump Moomin Trolley gave us a lecture on how to defend ourselves from apples falling from tree's. I honestly never knew 98 ways to pt you hands on your head, and with such speed.
Then it was time to pair up to go out onto the streets of gerridville and bust some griminals. Seeing as I was the new Moomin I was left out and I had to go with a big fat humongerous Moominstress who had B.O. (Bear Ontaurage) problems. They wouldn't let her near a Boomin 47 (a type of gun) as she kept thinking it was cake and... well, she still has the scars from last time.
When we got out, we split up into different part of the city - I ended up in spammerton, dirtiest, most evilest part of town. It is full of monkus' with wheels who are constantly drunken and throw pairs of pears at you. Fortunately, there was a massive Reggae festival only a few centimetres away so all that was left in town was an iratated chortin, so i hit with my baton.
Why am I writing this report anyway? Well they brought me in because the last Moomin 'left', although I have supiscions - I found a hand in my desk. Also my desk smells funny, kinda like a mistreated mortin on a friday evening. I think the moominstress ate him.
Go to go now... I think the chelumba's are planning to get out of the cupboard
Tuesday
This place keeps getting worse and worse - I think that moominstress is in love with me! When I was at the Veendoing Machine she was give me 'the eyes'. That could have been because I had just bought a chocolate bar, but with these looks and the amount of charm I have, that is as unlikely as getting sense out of Gerrid.
Well, lets leave that for another day, lets get onto buissness - There were a load of tourists outside town hall today - Today being 'Gerriday' across many nations - but seeing as Gerrid left our town in disgrace to Pokeyton we cancelled that. They got rowdy when I told them that he wasn't there anymore - damn Japanese and them not keeping up to date with our news. I had to convince them that it was n00bs who were to blame, and gave them the web addresses of some real spam.
The only other real thing to report about is us getting new typewriters in the office. The plump Moomin Trolley bought them from an 'unnamed source'. Mine is still wet with gasoline and all the rest smell of smoke, which makes me wonder if he got them from the petrol station down the road...
Wednesday
Had to investigate a fire today, downtown. It happened yesterday but the local people only finished pillaging it this morning. The international house of Moomin Trolls was burnt down, but their are few leads. This is the latest in a war between the Moomin Trolls and the Moomin Trolley's. Only last week a supermarket was burnt down.
I only have 3 eye witnesses who all proclaim they saw a fat moomin fleaing from the scene with a gas tank in hand. Strange.
It took me AGES to complete the report all because of that fat moo who I have to work with. She spilt coffee all over my moo paper and my moo pen wouldn't work. Why does everything in this moo town have to have soo many moo's?
The Coffee incident was the only time she came near me all day - she stood near the Veendoing all day PRETENDING to be on the phone, spontaniously laughing at random points to try and make it look real. I know her plot, she was waiing for me to come over so, when I bought somethng and bent down to get it she could see my behind.
Thursday
I saw the moominstress walking around town with a boyfriend in tow as I was on my way to work. I know she set it up as I take hat route to work every morning and a stalker of her caliber could've easily found that out. What she is really trying to is to make jealous, and it's failing. I just slit my wrists this morning because I felt like it, and crying because my work partener took the day off is a natural thing to do.
I didn't do much work today, I just sat at my desk and wrote 'WHY?' thousands of times and, before you ask, I didn't write why because of that fat moominstress. I did it because I had asked myself that morning 'Why is moo cheese so nice?' and couldn't find an answer.
Those Chelumba's just stand outside, tearing down lamposts and vomiting on anybody who dares to walk past. I would go out but I don't want to get sick all over my new suit, and yes I do count 6 years old as new.
Friday
The fat Moomin Trolley wanted to see this today but after I refused he got angry, so I started to shout awful words at him like 'NO!' and 'RUN AWAY!'. I am very disgraced about my behaviour.
He then got nastly and got his baton out to stroke me with, so I distracted him by saying that an apple was falling above him and hid under a table whilst he did one of his special manouvere's
Now I am hiding under the table I've got no idea how I'll get out of this one. This is MY journal and he's not going to take that away from me. You are the only friend I've got. I was bullied in school and my Mother and Father used to say I smelt of fish. I've never been close to anybody.
To compound my misery Moominstress isn't in again. I think she is out with that freak of a boyfriend that she is paying to hang around with her to try and make me angry. I hear rumours that she's been off a lot recently and one more day off will get her the sack. I hope she comes in to...
WHAT THE...? HE'S FOUND ME! GO TO GO!
(More Moomin Patrol Next Week)
Monday
First day on the job, and what an exciting one it has been. After having to arrest a group of angry chelumbas for throwing apple sauce at an elderly chigwoga, and falling over a gate, I finally got here.
The office so small. Too small. Bearing in mind this is the only police station for 50 miles, it is too small. We have to put all the criminals in a cupboard. The cupboard where we keep our coats. It's good fun trying to squash 7 chelumbas in with a hippofram and 2 malunkie though.
Our boss, a big plump Moomin Trolley gave us a lecture on how to defend ourselves from apples falling from tree's. I honestly never knew 98 ways to pt you hands on your head, and with such speed.
Then it was time to pair up to go out onto the streets of gerridville and bust some griminals. Seeing as I was the new Moomin I was left out and I had to go with a big fat humongerous Moominstress who had B.O. (Bear Ontaurage) problems. They wouldn't let her near a Boomin 47 (a type of gun) as she kept thinking it was cake and... well, she still has the scars from last time.
When we got out, we split up into different part of the city - I ended up in spammerton, dirtiest, most evilest part of town. It is full of monkus' with wheels who are constantly drunken and throw pairs of pears at you. Fortunately, there was a massive Reggae festival only a few centimetres away so all that was left in town was an iratated chortin, so i hit with my baton.
Why am I writing this report anyway? Well they brought me in because the last Moomin 'left', although I have supiscions - I found a hand in my desk. Also my desk smells funny, kinda like a mistreated mortin on a friday evening. I think the moominstress ate him.
Go to go now... I think the chelumba's are planning to get out of the cupboard
Tuesday
This place keeps getting worse and worse - I think that moominstress is in love with me! When I was at the Veendoing Machine she was give me 'the eyes'. That could have been because I had just bought a chocolate bar, but with these looks and the amount of charm I have, that is as unlikely as getting sense out of Gerrid.
Well, lets leave that for another day, lets get onto buissness - There were a load of tourists outside town hall today - Today being 'Gerriday' across many nations - but seeing as Gerrid left our town in disgrace to Pokeyton we cancelled that. They got rowdy when I told them that he wasn't there anymore - damn Japanese and them not keeping up to date with our news. I had to convince them that it was n00bs who were to blame, and gave them the web addresses of some real spam.
The only other real thing to report about is us getting new typewriters in the office. The plump Moomin Trolley bought them from an 'unnamed source'. Mine is still wet with gasoline and all the rest smell of smoke, which makes me wonder if he got them from the petrol station down the road...
Wednesday
Had to investigate a fire today, downtown. It happened yesterday but the local people only finished pillaging it this morning. The international house of Moomin Trolls was burnt down, but their are few leads. This is the latest in a war between the Moomin Trolls and the Moomin Trolley's. Only last week a supermarket was burnt down.
I only have 3 eye witnesses who all proclaim they saw a fat moomin fleaing from the scene with a gas tank in hand. Strange.
It took me AGES to complete the report all because of that fat moo who I have to work with. She spilt coffee all over my moo paper and my moo pen wouldn't work. Why does everything in this moo town have to have soo many moo's?
The Coffee incident was the only time she came near me all day - she stood near the Veendoing all day PRETENDING to be on the phone, spontaniously laughing at random points to try and make it look real. I know her plot, she was waiing for me to come over so, when I bought somethng and bent down to get it she could see my behind.
Thursday
I saw the moominstress walking around town with a boyfriend in tow as I was on my way to work. I know she set it up as I take hat route to work every morning and a stalker of her caliber could've easily found that out. What she is really trying to is to make jealous, and it's failing. I just slit my wrists this morning because I felt like it, and crying because my work partener took the day off is a natural thing to do.
I didn't do much work today, I just sat at my desk and wrote 'WHY?' thousands of times and, before you ask, I didn't write why because of that fat moominstress. I did it because I had asked myself that morning 'Why is moo cheese so nice?' and couldn't find an answer.
Those Chelumba's just stand outside, tearing down lamposts and vomiting on anybody who dares to walk past. I would go out but I don't want to get sick all over my new suit, and yes I do count 6 years old as new.
Friday
The fat Moomin Trolley wanted to see this today but after I refused he got angry, so I started to shout awful words at him like 'NO!' and 'RUN AWAY!'. I am very disgraced about my behaviour.
He then got nastly and got his baton out to stroke me with, so I distracted him by saying that an apple was falling above him and hid under a table whilst he did one of his special manouvere's
Now I am hiding under the table I've got no idea how I'll get out of this one. This is MY journal and he's not going to take that away from me. You are the only friend I've got. I was bullied in school and my Mother and Father used to say I smelt of fish. I've never been close to anybody.
To compound my misery Moominstress isn't in again. I think she is out with that freak of a boyfriend that she is paying to hang around with her to try and make me angry. I hear rumours that she's been off a lot recently and one more day off will get her the sack. I hope she comes in to...
WHAT THE...? HE'S FOUND ME! GO TO GO!
(More Moomin Patrol Next Week)