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Time: 8:00am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe- The Beginning
*Afro Joe is on the phone in the Player’s club*
Afro Joe= What do you mean you can’t get the shipment of hairspray by tomorrow!! If it isn’t over here when the sun goes down I will have your head delivery guy. And another thing you guys…
“There is someone else on the next line”
Afro Joe= Err, we have to talk later.
“He presses flash”
Afro Joe= Hello.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Hello Joe this is officer Guy Man Sir. I have been asked to call you to come over to your uncle Goatboy’s mansion. He has died…
“Afro Joe slams the phone down and runs over to Goatboy’s mansion. He bust through the doors and sees Goatboy’s dead body with no head”
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Joe you are here!! There seens to have been a murder.
Afro Joe= So Goatboy wasn’t kidding about the whole Mafia thing was he. What are you guys just standing here doing nothing!!! Writing something in your little notepads won’t help anyone.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= I’m making a report Joe, it’s only necessary.
Another Officer= I’m drawing a poodle on my notepad.
Afro Joe= My uncle died and you are drawing a dumb poodle!!!
Another Officer= Well it’s pretty..
Afro Joe= Hey, it is kind of cute…….. BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!!
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= We will be leaving now.
Afro Joe= You are not even going to take the body.
Another Officer= No that’s yucky.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Agreed. Lets go.
“The officers exit the house leaving Afro Joe with a dead body in broad daylight”
Afro Joe= This place is sort of creepy in the morning. But I have to investigate this place until I find out what happened to Goatboy.
“Afro Joe walks to the kitchen where he finds a massive amount of pies on a counter with signs underneath each pie telling what flavor it is”
Afro Joe= Maybe he ate the pies then died. Wait a second!! There is a blueberry pie, a cheery pie, a raspberry pie, and a pumpkin pie. Everyone knows that pumpkin pie is rank and never should be next to such good pies so why is it here.
“Afro Joe reaches his hand into the pumpkin pie and pulls out a scary looking book made of flowers and candy. The title read ETERNAL LIGHTNESS”
Afro Joe= Wow……..I hope this is porn.
“Afro Joe opens the book and sees a picture of a mean looking man”
Afro Joe= This surely is some weird porn but for some reason I feel like I have to read it.
“Afro Joe sits down in a nearby chair and begins to read. He reads so intensely that it seemed that Afro Joe almost read the story from the mean looking man’s eyes”
Time: 8:12am/July 22, 1964
Tribute- The Change
*Tribute is talking to his army of small 6 year old children located in a strange desert land*
Tribute= Our mission at hand is to take over the world. We defeat every country’s defenses with an iron fist. No mercy at all. None!!!!
Small Boy In Crowd= But I just want to finger paint…
Tribute=………..
Tribute= What are you, a bunch of children!!!
Everyone= Yes sir.
Tribute= Well shut it then!!!
“The whole army starts to cry”
Small Boy In The crowd= Stop screaming. “weep weep”
Tribute= I can’t take this anymore!!!
“Tribute walk of into the desert. He walks for almost 30 minutes until he runs into a group of stone shiny pillars”
Tribute= Yawn. My army probably put that there just to scare me.
“Tribute walks in the middle of the pillars. Lights surround Tribute until he is in a forest cave with roses lining the walls and rabbits hoping around aimlessly”
Tribute= Yawn. This is a dumb dream I’m having. Might as well look through this crazy place.
“Tribute walks to steps then steps over a rabbits tail. The rabbit gets outraged and punches madly at Tributes leg”
Tribute= Just because you have given me 7 bruises now doesn’t mean you are hurting me you rabbit thing.
“He kicks the rabbit away and walks on until he reaches the end of the cave where there is a purple stone floating happily”
Tribute= Yawn. What a boring looking stone.
“He touches the stone lightly then starts hurting all over. His body seemed to decay from the inside. He couldn’t bare to move. All he could do is wait until the pain was over. When the pain finally subsided Tribute looked at himself”
Tribute= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’ve turned into (dramatic music) Barney the Dinosaur. Hahaha, hello kids.
Time: 8:12am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Too weird. Could this have something to do with my uncle’s death? Could I have put myself in a position of danger right now? Could all this be a bad dream? Could all this be happing? Could Micheal Jackson make a new cd!!!! No that is too scary. I just want to read on for some reason…
“Afro Joe turns the page and sees a picture of a extremely white man. Like before he reads as if he were the white man”
Time: 8:54am/August 17, 1972
Dark Mark- The Protector
*Dark Mark is reading the ETERNAL LIGHTNESS book next to the Lit Temple in the wildnerness*
Dark Mark= This book only has one page and it is about Barney!!! What a cheap book. Who ever made it just wants to trick me because I’m albino.
“Dark Mark stands from the ground”
Dark Mark= A good book would be about albino people and ponies. Well I think I better look through this creepy looking cave because I have nothing better to do.
“As soon as Dark Mark walks passed the entrance, a huge door closes behind him”
Dark Mark= Ahh, they probably just kept me here because I’m albino!!
“Dark Mark walks further into the well lit temple until he sees teddy bears on the floor”
Dark Mark= What would this be doing in a temple?
“The teddy bears suddenly get up and start chasing Dark Mark because they want a hug. Dark Mark screams like a girl and jolts down the temple until he gets to a room where a stone statue of a blonde 14 year old girl stood”
Dark Mark= I think I’m safe here. Wow cool statue.
“The statue’s eyes open widely and reveal a bright blue shade”
Teenage Statue= Like hi.
Dark Mark= Um….hi
Teenage Statue= Like you would never guess what like happened to me in the mall the other day.
Dark Mark= Um….I don’t care.
Teenage Statue= Hehe, of course you do silly man. You are silly you know. Well like I was saying, Billy was like all over Jessica but Billy was going out with Mary at the time. So I came and said no you don’t boy. And he’s like “what” and I’m like “You don’t do that to my girlfriend. Uh uh.” And he is like “so”
Dark Mark= DON”T care!!
Teenage Statue= Well then all the people in the mall were like like “No you didn’t boy” and I was like ”Um huh” then he is like “duh” and then I’m like……….
7 hours later
Teenage Statue= So I’m like “No the Rugrats are much better than the PowerPuff Girls” and he’s like “No” and I’m like “well just don’t cheat on her then” and he’s like “OK”. Great story right?
“Dark Mark wakes up”
Dark Mark= Huh what, oh yes great.
“A loud noise rumbles through the temple”
Teenage Statue= Oh no, he is like here. Dark Mark you are such a cool guy and I trust you to keep this away from anyone and anything. It is an immortality stone and don’t let anyone have it!!!
“The statue throws the stone into Dark Mark’s mouth and he starts choking on it. Barney and two small children with swords twice their size, walk into the room”
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, kid where is that pretty immortality stone.
Dark Mark= “choke choke”
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, so you wont give me the information I want. Are you willing to not live for it. Hahaha.
Dark Mark= No “choke” you could have it “choke”
Tribute Barney= I can’t understand anything you are saying but I heard you said no. Lets get him boys.
“Tribute opens his mouth widely”
Tribute Barney= I love you. You love me. We are a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you….
“Dark Mark dies instantly”
Time: 8:54am/ November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Reading that made me kind of dizzy. I’m beginning to get scared.
“Afro Joe looks up and sees the pies jumping rope”
Pies= Mary had a little lamb whom had a face as white as snow.
“Afro Joe rubs his eyes and sees that he was just seeing things”
Afro Joe= This is getting scary.
“Afro Joe then turns the page and sees a picture of a priest. He reads as if he looked through his eyes”
Time= 9:43am/December 25, 1973
Drunk Cow- The Poisoning
*Drunk Cow is in a chapel*
“A delivery woman in bright white clothing begins talking to him”
Delivery woman= Hehe, hi sir. May you please deliver this is to Mr. Pencilneck?
“The delivery woman passes Drunk Cow a box of chocolates”
Drunk Cow= Can’t you just deliver it. You are the delivery person you know.
Delivery woman= I know but you must take it
Drunk Cow= I’m in love.
Delivery woman= Excuse me.
Drunk Cow= Oh, that means I’m confused…
Delivery woman= Wierdo…
“She walks off”
Drunk Cow= Well let me just take a taste of one of these chocolates. You know just to see if they are safe.
“Drunk Cow opens the box and eats a small chocolate”
Drunk Cow= Ahhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhh! Ohhhh, Ahhhhh!
“Drunk Cow falls on the floor”
Drunk Cow= Err, these cho-colates …..these cho-colates are…..DELICIOUS!!!
“He stands back up and gives a glance at Mr. Pencilneck who is a few feet away from him. He is looking at Drunk Cow strangely”
Drunk Cow= These are for you.
“He hands over the chocolates. As soon as their he hands it to him he gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Drunk Cow= I’m in love again.
“Drunk Cow sees 2 statues in the distance, he walks over slowly and reads the caption under 1 of the sculptures”
Drunk Cow= It says that this mans name was Dark Mark the Protector. Still in love.
“Drunk Cow now lays his eyes on the book which read ETERNAL LIGHTNESS. He opens it only to see two pages, one of a mean man and one of a white man. He gets teleported to his house”
*Drunk Cow’s house*
Drunk Cow= Those chocolates sure were delicio…….wait a second. Mr. Pencilneck is allergic to chocolates!!!
“Drunk Cow gets on the phone in a hurry and a police officer picks up”
Police man= Sorry, Mr. Cow but there is no one at this address named Mr. Pencilneck”
“Drunk Cow puts down the phone and looks out the window. All he could see were flashes of light and people eating chocolates”
Drunk Cow= What did that chocolate do to me!!! I have gone INSANE!!!
Time: 9:43am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
“Afro Joe lets out a huge gulp”
Afro Joe= What was that noise?
“Afro Joe hears sounds of small girls playing hop scotch”
Afro Joe= I’m beginning to hear things too!!! But I have to finish this book for some reason.
“Afro Joe turns the page and sees a picture of an old man. He read as if through his eyes”
Time: 10:00am/August 4, 1995
Maddmun- The Retrieval
*Maddmun is in front of the Lit Temple with his grandson Gasmask*
Maddmun= Ha, after almost 15 years I made it to the temple.
Gasmask= Yea, finally.
Maddmun= Gasmask, that was a horrible post!! “Yea, finally” that is just horrible!!!
Gasmask= Post? What are you talking about Maddmun.
Maddmun= You probably just said that to get a GAD.
Gasmask= Maddmun, are you still talking about how you have never won a GAD so you bash on anyone who tries to win won.
Maddmun= “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
Gasmask= Lets just go on grandpa.
“Maddmun takes out a map and walks through the temple entrance. As soon as he does he gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Maddmun= Ahhhh where am I. Hey, where is my sonny.
“In a attempt to find Gasmask, Maddmun runs into a floating book next to 3 stone sculptures. One of a priest, one of a white man, and one of a mean man”
Maddmun= What in tarnation? ETERNAL LIGHTNESS what does that mean. Hey there is only 3 pages. What a cheap book, who ever made it probably just did it for a GAD.
“Maddmun is teleported into a room of the temple”
Maddmun= Where is that grandson of mine? Hey are you my grandson?
“He points at a dead body on the floor”
Maddmun= Well are you? Answer me!!!
Dead Dark Mark= Wait!!! You can’t expect me to talk so fast when I’m dead. You probably are only screaming at me because I’m albino.
Maddmun= Ha, I bet you only died only to win a GAD. “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
Dead Dark Mark= There is no time to fight. Take this and run away and put it in a place that Barney will never find it.
“Dead Dark Mark spits out the immortality stone and Maddmun picks it up”
Dead Dark Mark= Now run!!!
“Maddmun runs toward the exit of the temple where he finds Gasmask. Maddmun takes his hand and together they run toward Gerrid’s museum. When they get there they barge through the door. Gerrid scampers to the door with a knife in his hand”
Gerrid= I got BLADES man, BLADES!!!!!
Maddmun= We can’t talk we just need you to keep this here and protect it with your life!!!
Gerrid= O…..k
Time: 10:00am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Didn’t Goatboy tell me once that his place use to be a museum? Too strange.
“Afro Joe looks at a mirror next to him. In the mirror he sees that his afro has been replaced by a crew cut”
Afro Joe=Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, the insanity!!!
“Afro Joe turns the page one more time and sees a picture of Goatboy”
Afro Joe= You got to be joking with me!
“He begins to read. He puts himself in the position of his uncle”
Time: 7:00am/November 13, 2002
Goatboy- The Destruction of a Plan
*At Goatboy’s mansion*
Goatboy= Oh, I just know today is going to lick balls. Let me make French toast just to make me fell better. French toast licks balls.
“Goatboy goes to the kitchen and sees Barney the purple dinosaur”
Goatboy= Hey ball licker get out of my house!!!
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, kids it’s time for me to give this man a question. Hahaha, where is the stone?
Goatboy= Stones lick balls.
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, I need that stone!!!
Goatboy= No, you need to lick balls!!!
Tribute Barney= With that stone I could live forever! And if I do that I could make so many delicious chocolates to rule the world…Hahaha, so take this!!!!……………………. I love you. You love…
Goatboy= to lick balls.
Tribute Barney= No it goes I love you. You love me. We are….
Goatboy= licking balls.
“Goatboy suddenly gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Goatboy= Oh, flowers lick balls.
“Goatboy sees 4 statues and a floating book up ahead”
Goatboy= Floating books lick balls.
“He picks up the book and finds himself in front of Barney again”
Tribute Barney= Oh, hahaha, it is the book. I’m dieing. Oh, I’m dieing.
“Barney disappears”
Goatboy= Ow, this book licks balls!! I feel like making pies. But not the pies that lick balls though.
“Goatboy makes a bluberry pie, a cherry pie, a raspberry pie, and a pumpkin pie”
Goatboy= Why did I make a pumpkin pie? Pumpkin pies lick balls like books.
“Goatboy finds some chocolates on the floor”
Goatboy= Chocolates are ok but they still lick balls.
“He eats one and the flavor is too delicious for him he gets a knife and slices himself open just to stop his taste buds from exploding with joy”
Time: 10:12am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Ohhh, uncle just ruined the book with that ending. And there was no porno in the WHOLE THING!!! I’m scared out of my mind right now I have to get out of this place.
“Afro Joe puts down the book and runs to the door. He trips on something”
Afro Joe= Awww, what did I trip on!!!
“Afro Joe looks down and sees that he triped on a powerful looking stone. Afro Joe then looks to his right and sees a pile of porn”
Afro Joe= Porno!!! Woooo porn!!!
“Afro Joe picks up the porn and goes home singing joyfully”
Drunk
Thank you berry muchness for reading.
Afro Joe- The Beginning
*Afro Joe is on the phone in the Player’s club*
Afro Joe= What do you mean you can’t get the shipment of hairspray by tomorrow!! If it isn’t over here when the sun goes down I will have your head delivery guy. And another thing you guys…
“There is someone else on the next line”
Afro Joe= Err, we have to talk later.
“He presses flash”
Afro Joe= Hello.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Hello Joe this is officer Guy Man Sir. I have been asked to call you to come over to your uncle Goatboy’s mansion. He has died…
“Afro Joe slams the phone down and runs over to Goatboy’s mansion. He bust through the doors and sees Goatboy’s dead body with no head”
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Joe you are here!! There seens to have been a murder.
Afro Joe= So Goatboy wasn’t kidding about the whole Mafia thing was he. What are you guys just standing here doing nothing!!! Writing something in your little notepads won’t help anyone.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= I’m making a report Joe, it’s only necessary.
Another Officer= I’m drawing a poodle on my notepad.
Afro Joe= My uncle died and you are drawing a dumb poodle!!!
Another Officer= Well it’s pretty..
Afro Joe= Hey, it is kind of cute…….. BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!!
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= We will be leaving now.
Afro Joe= You are not even going to take the body.
Another Officer= No that’s yucky.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Agreed. Lets go.
“The officers exit the house leaving Afro Joe with a dead body in broad daylight”
Afro Joe= This place is sort of creepy in the morning. But I have to investigate this place until I find out what happened to Goatboy.
“Afro Joe walks to the kitchen where he finds a massive amount of pies on a counter with signs underneath each pie telling what flavor it is”
Afro Joe= Maybe he ate the pies then died. Wait a second!! There is a blueberry pie, a cheery pie, a raspberry pie, and a pumpkin pie. Everyone knows that pumpkin pie is rank and never should be next to such good pies so why is it here.
“Afro Joe reaches his hand into the pumpkin pie and pulls out a scary looking book made of flowers and candy. The title read ETERNAL LIGHTNESS”
Afro Joe= Wow……..I hope this is porn.
“Afro Joe opens the book and sees a picture of a mean looking man”
Afro Joe= This surely is some weird porn but for some reason I feel like I have to read it.
“Afro Joe sits down in a nearby chair and begins to read. He reads so intensely that it seemed that Afro Joe almost read the story from the mean looking man’s eyes”
Time: 8:12am/July 22, 1964
Tribute- The Change
*Tribute is talking to his army of small 6 year old children located in a strange desert land*
Tribute= Our mission at hand is to take over the world. We defeat every country’s defenses with an iron fist. No mercy at all. None!!!!
Small Boy In Crowd= But I just want to finger paint…
Tribute=………..
Tribute= What are you, a bunch of children!!!
Everyone= Yes sir.
Tribute= Well shut it then!!!
“The whole army starts to cry”
Small Boy In The crowd= Stop screaming. “weep weep”
Tribute= I can’t take this anymore!!!
“Tribute walk of into the desert. He walks for almost 30 minutes until he runs into a group of stone shiny pillars”
Tribute= Yawn. My army probably put that there just to scare me.
“Tribute walks in the middle of the pillars. Lights surround Tribute until he is in a forest cave with roses lining the walls and rabbits hoping around aimlessly”
Tribute= Yawn. This is a dumb dream I’m having. Might as well look through this crazy place.
“Tribute walks to steps then steps over a rabbits tail. The rabbit gets outraged and punches madly at Tributes leg”
Tribute= Just because you have given me 7 bruises now doesn’t mean you are hurting me you rabbit thing.
“He kicks the rabbit away and walks on until he reaches the end of the cave where there is a purple stone floating happily”
Tribute= Yawn. What a boring looking stone.
“He touches the stone lightly then starts hurting all over. His body seemed to decay from the inside. He couldn’t bare to move. All he could do is wait until the pain was over. When the pain finally subsided Tribute looked at himself”
Tribute= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’ve turned into (dramatic music) Barney the Dinosaur. Hahaha, hello kids.
Time: 8:12am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Too weird. Could this have something to do with my uncle’s death? Could I have put myself in a position of danger right now? Could all this be a bad dream? Could all this be happing? Could Micheal Jackson make a new cd!!!! No that is too scary. I just want to read on for some reason…
“Afro Joe turns the page and sees a picture of a extremely white man. Like before he reads as if he were the white man”
Time: 8:54am/August 17, 1972
Dark Mark- The Protector
*Dark Mark is reading the ETERNAL LIGHTNESS book next to the Lit Temple in the wildnerness*
Dark Mark= This book only has one page and it is about Barney!!! What a cheap book. Who ever made it just wants to trick me because I’m albino.
“Dark Mark stands from the ground”
Dark Mark= A good book would be about albino people and ponies. Well I think I better look through this creepy looking cave because I have nothing better to do.
“As soon as Dark Mark walks passed the entrance, a huge door closes behind him”
Dark Mark= Ahh, they probably just kept me here because I’m albino!!
“Dark Mark walks further into the well lit temple until he sees teddy bears on the floor”
Dark Mark= What would this be doing in a temple?
“The teddy bears suddenly get up and start chasing Dark Mark because they want a hug. Dark Mark screams like a girl and jolts down the temple until he gets to a room where a stone statue of a blonde 14 year old girl stood”
Dark Mark= I think I’m safe here. Wow cool statue.
“The statue’s eyes open widely and reveal a bright blue shade”
Teenage Statue= Like hi.
Dark Mark= Um….hi
Teenage Statue= Like you would never guess what like happened to me in the mall the other day.
Dark Mark= Um….I don’t care.
Teenage Statue= Hehe, of course you do silly man. You are silly you know. Well like I was saying, Billy was like all over Jessica but Billy was going out with Mary at the time. So I came and said no you don’t boy. And he’s like “what” and I’m like “You don’t do that to my girlfriend. Uh uh.” And he is like “so”
Dark Mark= DON”T care!!
Teenage Statue= Well then all the people in the mall were like like “No you didn’t boy” and I was like ”Um huh” then he is like “duh” and then I’m like……….
7 hours later
Teenage Statue= So I’m like “No the Rugrats are much better than the PowerPuff Girls” and he’s like “No” and I’m like “well just don’t cheat on her then” and he’s like “OK”. Great story right?
“Dark Mark wakes up”
Dark Mark= Huh what, oh yes great.
“A loud noise rumbles through the temple”
Teenage Statue= Oh no, he is like here. Dark Mark you are such a cool guy and I trust you to keep this away from anyone and anything. It is an immortality stone and don’t let anyone have it!!!
“The statue throws the stone into Dark Mark’s mouth and he starts choking on it. Barney and two small children with swords twice their size, walk into the room”
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, kid where is that pretty immortality stone.
Dark Mark= “choke choke”
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, so you wont give me the information I want. Are you willing to not live for it. Hahaha.
Dark Mark= No “choke” you could have it “choke”
Tribute Barney= I can’t understand anything you are saying but I heard you said no. Lets get him boys.
“Tribute opens his mouth widely”
Tribute Barney= I love you. You love me. We are a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you….
“Dark Mark dies instantly”
Time: 8:54am/ November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Reading that made me kind of dizzy. I’m beginning to get scared.
“Afro Joe looks up and sees the pies jumping rope”
Pies= Mary had a little lamb whom had a face as white as snow.
“Afro Joe rubs his eyes and sees that he was just seeing things”
Afro Joe= This is getting scary.
“Afro Joe then turns the page and sees a picture of a priest. He reads as if he looked through his eyes”
Time= 9:43am/December 25, 1973
Drunk Cow- The Poisoning
*Drunk Cow is in a chapel*
“A delivery woman in bright white clothing begins talking to him”
Delivery woman= Hehe, hi sir. May you please deliver this is to Mr. Pencilneck?
“The delivery woman passes Drunk Cow a box of chocolates”
Drunk Cow= Can’t you just deliver it. You are the delivery person you know.
Delivery woman= I know but you must take it
Drunk Cow= I’m in love.
Delivery woman= Excuse me.
Drunk Cow= Oh, that means I’m confused…
Delivery woman= Wierdo…
“She walks off”
Drunk Cow= Well let me just take a taste of one of these chocolates. You know just to see if they are safe.
“Drunk Cow opens the box and eats a small chocolate”
Drunk Cow= Ahhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhh! Ohhhh, Ahhhhh!
“Drunk Cow falls on the floor”
Drunk Cow= Err, these cho-colates …..these cho-colates are…..DELICIOUS!!!
“He stands back up and gives a glance at Mr. Pencilneck who is a few feet away from him. He is looking at Drunk Cow strangely”
Drunk Cow= These are for you.
“He hands over the chocolates. As soon as their he hands it to him he gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Drunk Cow= I’m in love again.
“Drunk Cow sees 2 statues in the distance, he walks over slowly and reads the caption under 1 of the sculptures”
Drunk Cow= It says that this mans name was Dark Mark the Protector. Still in love.
“Drunk Cow now lays his eyes on the book which read ETERNAL LIGHTNESS. He opens it only to see two pages, one of a mean man and one of a white man. He gets teleported to his house”
*Drunk Cow’s house*
Drunk Cow= Those chocolates sure were delicio…….wait a second. Mr. Pencilneck is allergic to chocolates!!!
“Drunk Cow gets on the phone in a hurry and a police officer picks up”
Police man= Sorry, Mr. Cow but there is no one at this address named Mr. Pencilneck”
“Drunk Cow puts down the phone and looks out the window. All he could see were flashes of light and people eating chocolates”
Drunk Cow= What did that chocolate do to me!!! I have gone INSANE!!!
Time: 9:43am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
“Afro Joe lets out a huge gulp”
Afro Joe= What was that noise?
“Afro Joe hears sounds of small girls playing hop scotch”
Afro Joe= I’m beginning to hear things too!!! But I have to finish this book for some reason.
“Afro Joe turns the page and sees a picture of an old man. He read as if through his eyes”
Time: 10:00am/August 4, 1995
Maddmun- The Retrieval
*Maddmun is in front of the Lit Temple with his grandson Gasmask*
Maddmun= Ha, after almost 15 years I made it to the temple.
Gasmask= Yea, finally.
Maddmun= Gasmask, that was a horrible post!! “Yea, finally” that is just horrible!!!
Gasmask= Post? What are you talking about Maddmun.
Maddmun= You probably just said that to get a GAD.
Gasmask= Maddmun, are you still talking about how you have never won a GAD so you bash on anyone who tries to win won.
Maddmun= “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
Gasmask= Lets just go on grandpa.
“Maddmun takes out a map and walks through the temple entrance. As soon as he does he gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Maddmun= Ahhhh where am I. Hey, where is my sonny.
“In a attempt to find Gasmask, Maddmun runs into a floating book next to 3 stone sculptures. One of a priest, one of a white man, and one of a mean man”
Maddmun= What in tarnation? ETERNAL LIGHTNESS what does that mean. Hey there is only 3 pages. What a cheap book, who ever made it probably just did it for a GAD.
“Maddmun is teleported into a room of the temple”
Maddmun= Where is that grandson of mine? Hey are you my grandson?
“He points at a dead body on the floor”
Maddmun= Well are you? Answer me!!!
Dead Dark Mark= Wait!!! You can’t expect me to talk so fast when I’m dead. You probably are only screaming at me because I’m albino.
Maddmun= Ha, I bet you only died only to win a GAD. “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
Dead Dark Mark= There is no time to fight. Take this and run away and put it in a place that Barney will never find it.
“Dead Dark Mark spits out the immortality stone and Maddmun picks it up”
Dead Dark Mark= Now run!!!
“Maddmun runs toward the exit of the temple where he finds Gasmask. Maddmun takes his hand and together they run toward Gerrid’s museum. When they get there they barge through the door. Gerrid scampers to the door with a knife in his hand”
Gerrid= I got BLADES man, BLADES!!!!!
Maddmun= We can’t talk we just need you to keep this here and protect it with your life!!!
Gerrid= O…..k
Time: 10:00am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Didn’t Goatboy tell me once that his place use to be a museum? Too strange.
“Afro Joe looks at a mirror next to him. In the mirror he sees that his afro has been replaced by a crew cut”
Afro Joe=Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, the insanity!!!
“Afro Joe turns the page one more time and sees a picture of Goatboy”
Afro Joe= You got to be joking with me!
“He begins to read. He puts himself in the position of his uncle”
Time: 7:00am/November 13, 2002
Goatboy- The Destruction of a Plan
*At Goatboy’s mansion*
Goatboy= Oh, I just know today is going to lick balls. Let me make French toast just to make me fell better. French toast licks balls.
“Goatboy goes to the kitchen and sees Barney the purple dinosaur”
Goatboy= Hey ball licker get out of my house!!!
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, kids it’s time for me to give this man a question. Hahaha, where is the stone?
Goatboy= Stones lick balls.
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, I need that stone!!!
Goatboy= No, you need to lick balls!!!
Tribute Barney= With that stone I could live forever! And if I do that I could make so many delicious chocolates to rule the world…Hahaha, so take this!!!!……………………. I love you. You love…
Goatboy= to lick balls.
Tribute Barney= No it goes I love you. You love me. We are….
Goatboy= licking balls.
“Goatboy suddenly gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Goatboy= Oh, flowers lick balls.
“Goatboy sees 4 statues and a floating book up ahead”
Goatboy= Floating books lick balls.
“He picks up the book and finds himself in front of Barney again”
Tribute Barney= Oh, hahaha, it is the book. I’m dieing. Oh, I’m dieing.
“Barney disappears”
Goatboy= Ow, this book licks balls!! I feel like making pies. But not the pies that lick balls though.
“Goatboy makes a bluberry pie, a cherry pie, a raspberry pie, and a pumpkin pie”
Goatboy= Why did I make a pumpkin pie? Pumpkin pies lick balls like books.
“Goatboy finds some chocolates on the floor”
Goatboy= Chocolates are ok but they still lick balls.
“He eats one and the flavor is too delicious for him he gets a knife and slices himself open just to stop his taste buds from exploding with joy”
Time: 10:12am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Ohhh, uncle just ruined the book with that ending. And there was no porno in the WHOLE THING!!! I’m scared out of my mind right now I have to get out of this place.
“Afro Joe puts down the book and runs to the door. He trips on something”
Afro Joe= Awww, what did I trip on!!!
“Afro Joe looks down and sees that he triped on a powerful looking stone. Afro Joe then looks to his right and sees a pile of porn”
Afro Joe= Porno!!! Woooo porn!!!
“Afro Joe picks up the porn and goes home singing joyfully”
Drunk
Thank you berry muchness for reading.
Page:
Time: 8:00am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe- The Beginning
*Afro Joe is on the phone in the Player’s club*
Afro Joe= What do you mean you can’t get the shipment of hairspray by tomorrow!! If it isn’t over here when the sun goes down I will have your head delivery guy. And another thing you guys…
“There is someone else on the next line”
Afro Joe= Err, we have to talk later.
“He presses flash”
Afro Joe= Hello.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Hello Joe this is officer Guy Man Sir. I have been asked to call you to come over to your uncle Goatboy’s mansion. He has died…
“Afro Joe slams the phone down and runs over to Goatboy’s mansion. He bust through the doors and sees Goatboy’s dead body with no head”
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Joe you are here!! There seens to have been a murder.
Afro Joe= So Goatboy wasn’t kidding about the whole Mafia thing was he. What are you guys just standing here doing nothing!!! Writing something in your little notepads won’t help anyone.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= I’m making a report Joe, it’s only necessary.
Another Officer= I’m drawing a poodle on my notepad.
Afro Joe= My uncle died and you are drawing a dumb poodle!!!
Another Officer= Well it’s pretty..
Afro Joe= Hey, it is kind of cute…….. BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!!
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= We will be leaving now.
Afro Joe= You are not even going to take the body.
Another Officer= No that’s yucky.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Agreed. Lets go.
“The officers exit the house leaving Afro Joe with a dead body in broad daylight”
Afro Joe= This place is sort of creepy in the morning. But I have to investigate this place until I find out what happened to Goatboy.
“Afro Joe walks to the kitchen where he finds a massive amount of pies on a counter with signs underneath each pie telling what flavor it is”
Afro Joe= Maybe he ate the pies then died. Wait a second!! There is a blueberry pie, a cheery pie, a raspberry pie, and a pumpkin pie. Everyone knows that pumpkin pie is rank and never should be next to such good pies so why is it here.
“Afro Joe reaches his hand into the pumpkin pie and pulls out a scary looking book made of flowers and candy. The title read ETERNAL LIGHTNESS”
Afro Joe= Wow……..I hope this is porn.
“Afro Joe opens the book and sees a picture of a mean looking man”
Afro Joe= This surely is some weird porn but for some reason I feel like I have to read it.
“Afro Joe sits down in a nearby chair and begins to read. He reads so intensely that it seemed that Afro Joe almost read the story from the mean looking man’s eyes”
Time: 8:12am/July 22, 1964
Tribute- The Change
*Tribute is talking to his army of small 6 year old children located in a strange desert land*
Tribute= Our mission at hand is to take over the world. We defeat every country’s defenses with an iron fist. No mercy at all. None!!!!
Small Boy In Crowd= But I just want to finger paint…
Tribute=………..
Tribute= What are you, a bunch of children!!!
Everyone= Yes sir.
Tribute= Well shut it then!!!
“The whole army starts to cry”
Small Boy In The crowd= Stop screaming. “weep weep”
Tribute= I can’t take this anymore!!!
“Tribute walk of into the desert. He walks for almost 30 minutes until he runs into a group of stone shiny pillars”
Tribute= Yawn. My army probably put that there just to scare me.
“Tribute walks in the middle of the pillars. Lights surround Tribute until he is in a forest cave with roses lining the walls and rabbits hoping around aimlessly”
Tribute= Yawn. This is a dumb dream I’m having. Might as well look through this crazy place.
“Tribute walks to steps then steps over a rabbits tail. The rabbit gets outraged and punches madly at Tributes leg”
Tribute= Just because you have given me 7 bruises now doesn’t mean you are hurting me you rabbit thing.
“He kicks the rabbit away and walks on until he reaches the end of the cave where there is a purple stone floating happily”
Tribute= Yawn. What a boring looking stone.
“He touches the stone lightly then starts hurting all over. His body seemed to decay from the inside. He couldn’t bare to move. All he could do is wait until the pain was over. When the pain finally subsided Tribute looked at himself”
Tribute= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’ve turned into (dramatic music) Barney the Dinosaur. Hahaha, hello kids.
Time: 8:12am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Too weird. Could this have something to do with my uncle’s death? Could I have put myself in a position of danger right now? Could all this be a bad dream? Could all this be happing? Could Micheal Jackson make a new cd!!!! No that is too scary. I just want to read on for some reason…
“Afro Joe turns the page and sees a picture of a extremely white man. Like before he reads as if he were the white man”
Time: 8:54am/August 17, 1972
Dark Mark- The Protector
*Dark Mark is reading the ETERNAL LIGHTNESS book next to the Lit Temple in the wildnerness*
Dark Mark= This book only has one page and it is about Barney!!! What a cheap book. Who ever made it just wants to trick me because I’m albino.
“Dark Mark stands from the ground”
Dark Mark= A good book would be about albino people and ponies. Well I think I better look through this creepy looking cave because I have nothing better to do.
“As soon as Dark Mark walks passed the entrance, a huge door closes behind him”
Dark Mark= Ahh, they probably just kept me here because I’m albino!!
“Dark Mark walks further into the well lit temple until he sees teddy bears on the floor”
Dark Mark= What would this be doing in a temple?
“The teddy bears suddenly get up and start chasing Dark Mark because they want a hug. Dark Mark screams like a girl and jolts down the temple until he gets to a room where a stone statue of a blonde 14 year old girl stood”
Dark Mark= I think I’m safe here. Wow cool statue.
“The statue’s eyes open widely and reveal a bright blue shade”
Teenage Statue= Like hi.
Dark Mark= Um….hi
Teenage Statue= Like you would never guess what like happened to me in the mall the other day.
Dark Mark= Um….I don’t care.
Teenage Statue= Hehe, of course you do silly man. You are silly you know. Well like I was saying, Billy was like all over Jessica but Billy was going out with Mary at the time. So I came and said no you don’t boy. And he’s like “what” and I’m like “You don’t do that to my girlfriend. Uh uh.” And he is like “so”
Dark Mark= DON”T care!!
Teenage Statue= Well then all the people in the mall were like like “No you didn’t boy” and I was like ”Um huh” then he is like “duh” and then I’m like……….
7 hours later
Teenage Statue= So I’m like “No the Rugrats are much better than the PowerPuff Girls” and he’s like “No” and I’m like “well just don’t cheat on her then” and he’s like “OK”. Great story right?
“Dark Mark wakes up”
Dark Mark= Huh what, oh yes great.
“A loud noise rumbles through the temple”
Teenage Statue= Oh no, he is like here. Dark Mark you are such a cool guy and I trust you to keep this away from anyone and anything. It is an immortality stone and don’t let anyone have it!!!
“The statue throws the stone into Dark Mark’s mouth and he starts choking on it. Barney and two small children with swords twice their size, walk into the room”
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, kid where is that pretty immortality stone.
Dark Mark= “choke choke”
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, so you wont give me the information I want. Are you willing to not live for it. Hahaha.
Dark Mark= No “choke” you could have it “choke”
Tribute Barney= I can’t understand anything you are saying but I heard you said no. Lets get him boys.
“Tribute opens his mouth widely”
Tribute Barney= I love you. You love me. We are a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you….
“Dark Mark dies instantly”
Time: 8:54am/ November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Reading that made me kind of dizzy. I’m beginning to get scared.
“Afro Joe looks up and sees the pies jumping rope”
Pies= Mary had a little lamb whom had a face as white as snow.
“Afro Joe rubs his eyes and sees that he was just seeing things”
Afro Joe= This is getting scary.
“Afro Joe then turns the page and sees a picture of a priest. He reads as if he looked through his eyes”
Time= 9:43am/December 25, 1973
Drunk Cow- The Poisoning
*Drunk Cow is in a chapel*
“A delivery woman in bright white clothing begins talking to him”
Delivery woman= Hehe, hi sir. May you please deliver this is to Mr. Pencilneck?
“The delivery woman passes Drunk Cow a box of chocolates”
Drunk Cow= Can’t you just deliver it. You are the delivery person you know.
Delivery woman= I know but you must take it
Drunk Cow= I’m in love.
Delivery woman= Excuse me.
Drunk Cow= Oh, that means I’m confused…
Delivery woman= Wierdo…
“She walks off”
Drunk Cow= Well let me just take a taste of one of these chocolates. You know just to see if they are safe.
“Drunk Cow opens the box and eats a small chocolate”
Drunk Cow= Ahhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhh! Ohhhh, Ahhhhh!
“Drunk Cow falls on the floor”
Drunk Cow= Err, these cho-colates …..these cho-colates are…..DELICIOUS!!!
“He stands back up and gives a glance at Mr. Pencilneck who is a few feet away from him. He is looking at Drunk Cow strangely”
Drunk Cow= These are for you.
“He hands over the chocolates. As soon as their he hands it to him he gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Drunk Cow= I’m in love again.
“Drunk Cow sees 2 statues in the distance, he walks over slowly and reads the caption under 1 of the sculptures”
Drunk Cow= It says that this mans name was Dark Mark the Protector. Still in love.
“Drunk Cow now lays his eyes on the book which read ETERNAL LIGHTNESS. He opens it only to see two pages, one of a mean man and one of a white man. He gets teleported to his house”
*Drunk Cow’s house*
Drunk Cow= Those chocolates sure were delicio…….wait a second. Mr. Pencilneck is allergic to chocolates!!!
“Drunk Cow gets on the phone in a hurry and a police officer picks up”
Police man= Sorry, Mr. Cow but there is no one at this address named Mr. Pencilneck”
“Drunk Cow puts down the phone and looks out the window. All he could see were flashes of light and people eating chocolates”
Drunk Cow= What did that chocolate do to me!!! I have gone INSANE!!!
Time: 9:43am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
“Afro Joe lets out a huge gulp”
Afro Joe= What was that noise?
“Afro Joe hears sounds of small girls playing hop scotch”
Afro Joe= I’m beginning to hear things too!!! But I have to finish this book for some reason.
“Afro Joe turns the page and sees a picture of an old man. He read as if through his eyes”
Time: 10:00am/August 4, 1995
Maddmun- The Retrieval
*Maddmun is in front of the Lit Temple with his grandson Gasmask*
Maddmun= Ha, after almost 15 years I made it to the temple.
Gasmask= Yea, finally.
Maddmun= Gasmask, that was a horrible post!! “Yea, finally” that is just horrible!!!
Gasmask= Post? What are you talking about Maddmun.
Maddmun= You probably just said that to get a GAD.
Gasmask= Maddmun, are you still talking about how you have never won a GAD so you bash on anyone who tries to win won.
Maddmun= “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
Gasmask= Lets just go on grandpa.
“Maddmun takes out a map and walks through the temple entrance. As soon as he does he gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Maddmun= Ahhhh where am I. Hey, where is my sonny.
“In a attempt to find Gasmask, Maddmun runs into a floating book next to 3 stone sculptures. One of a priest, one of a white man, and one of a mean man”
Maddmun= What in tarnation? ETERNAL LIGHTNESS what does that mean. Hey there is only 3 pages. What a cheap book, who ever made it probably just did it for a GAD.
“Maddmun is teleported into a room of the temple”
Maddmun= Where is that grandson of mine? Hey are you my grandson?
“He points at a dead body on the floor”
Maddmun= Well are you? Answer me!!!
Dead Dark Mark= Wait!!! You can’t expect me to talk so fast when I’m dead. You probably are only screaming at me because I’m albino.
Maddmun= Ha, I bet you only died only to win a GAD. “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
Dead Dark Mark= There is no time to fight. Take this and run away and put it in a place that Barney will never find it.
“Dead Dark Mark spits out the immortality stone and Maddmun picks it up”
Dead Dark Mark= Now run!!!
“Maddmun runs toward the exit of the temple where he finds Gasmask. Maddmun takes his hand and together they run toward Gerrid’s museum. When they get there they barge through the door. Gerrid scampers to the door with a knife in his hand”
Gerrid= I got BLADES man, BLADES!!!!!
Maddmun= We can’t talk we just need you to keep this here and protect it with your life!!!
Gerrid= O…..k
Time: 10:00am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Didn’t Goatboy tell me once that his place use to be a museum? Too strange.
“Afro Joe looks at a mirror next to him. In the mirror he sees that his afro has been replaced by a crew cut”
Afro Joe=Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, the insanity!!!
“Afro Joe turns the page one more time and sees a picture of Goatboy”
Afro Joe= You got to be joking with me!
“He begins to read. He puts himself in the position of his uncle”
Time: 7:00am/November 13, 2002
Goatboy- The Destruction of a Plan
*At Goatboy’s mansion*
Goatboy= Oh, I just know today is going to lick balls. Let me make French toast just to make me fell better. French toast licks balls.
“Goatboy goes to the kitchen and sees Barney the purple dinosaur”
Goatboy= Hey ball licker get out of my house!!!
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, kids it’s time for me to give this man a question. Hahaha, where is the stone?
Goatboy= Stones lick balls.
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, I need that stone!!!
Goatboy= No, you need to lick balls!!!
Tribute Barney= With that stone I could live forever! And if I do that I could make so many delicious chocolates to rule the world…Hahaha, so take this!!!!……………………. I love you. You love…
Goatboy= to lick balls.
Tribute Barney= No it goes I love you. You love me. We are….
Goatboy= licking balls.
“Goatboy suddenly gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Goatboy= Oh, flowers lick balls.
“Goatboy sees 4 statues and a floating book up ahead”
Goatboy= Floating books lick balls.
“He picks up the book and finds himself in front of Barney again”
Tribute Barney= Oh, hahaha, it is the book. I’m dieing. Oh, I’m dieing.
“Barney disappears”
Goatboy= Ow, this book licks balls!! I feel like making pies. But not the pies that lick balls though.
“Goatboy makes a bluberry pie, a cherry pie, a raspberry pie, and a pumpkin pie”
Goatboy= Why did I make a pumpkin pie? Pumpkin pies lick balls like books.
“Goatboy finds some chocolates on the floor”
Goatboy= Chocolates are ok but they still lick balls.
“He eats one and the flavor is too delicious for him he gets a knife and slices himself open just to stop his taste buds from exploding with joy”
Time: 10:12am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Ohhh, uncle just ruined the book with that ending. And there was no porno in the WHOLE THING!!! I’m scared out of my mind right now I have to get out of this place.
“Afro Joe puts down the book and runs to the door. He trips on something”
Afro Joe= Awww, what did I trip on!!!
“Afro Joe looks down and sees that he triped on a powerful looking stone. Afro Joe then looks to his right and sees a pile of porn”
Afro Joe= Porno!!! Woooo porn!!!
“Afro Joe picks up the porn and goes home singing joyfully”
Drunk
Thank you berry muchness for reading.
Afro Joe- The Beginning
*Afro Joe is on the phone in the Player’s club*
Afro Joe= What do you mean you can’t get the shipment of hairspray by tomorrow!! If it isn’t over here when the sun goes down I will have your head delivery guy. And another thing you guys…
“There is someone else on the next line”
Afro Joe= Err, we have to talk later.
“He presses flash”
Afro Joe= Hello.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Hello Joe this is officer Guy Man Sir. I have been asked to call you to come over to your uncle Goatboy’s mansion. He has died…
“Afro Joe slams the phone down and runs over to Goatboy’s mansion. He bust through the doors and sees Goatboy’s dead body with no head”
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Joe you are here!! There seens to have been a murder.
Afro Joe= So Goatboy wasn’t kidding about the whole Mafia thing was he. What are you guys just standing here doing nothing!!! Writing something in your little notepads won’t help anyone.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= I’m making a report Joe, it’s only necessary.
Another Officer= I’m drawing a poodle on my notepad.
Afro Joe= My uncle died and you are drawing a dumb poodle!!!
Another Officer= Well it’s pretty..
Afro Joe= Hey, it is kind of cute…….. BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!!
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= We will be leaving now.
Afro Joe= You are not even going to take the body.
Another Officer= No that’s yucky.
Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Agreed. Lets go.
“The officers exit the house leaving Afro Joe with a dead body in broad daylight”
Afro Joe= This place is sort of creepy in the morning. But I have to investigate this place until I find out what happened to Goatboy.
“Afro Joe walks to the kitchen where he finds a massive amount of pies on a counter with signs underneath each pie telling what flavor it is”
Afro Joe= Maybe he ate the pies then died. Wait a second!! There is a blueberry pie, a cheery pie, a raspberry pie, and a pumpkin pie. Everyone knows that pumpkin pie is rank and never should be next to such good pies so why is it here.
“Afro Joe reaches his hand into the pumpkin pie and pulls out a scary looking book made of flowers and candy. The title read ETERNAL LIGHTNESS”
Afro Joe= Wow……..I hope this is porn.
“Afro Joe opens the book and sees a picture of a mean looking man”
Afro Joe= This surely is some weird porn but for some reason I feel like I have to read it.
“Afro Joe sits down in a nearby chair and begins to read. He reads so intensely that it seemed that Afro Joe almost read the story from the mean looking man’s eyes”
Time: 8:12am/July 22, 1964
Tribute- The Change
*Tribute is talking to his army of small 6 year old children located in a strange desert land*
Tribute= Our mission at hand is to take over the world. We defeat every country’s defenses with an iron fist. No mercy at all. None!!!!
Small Boy In Crowd= But I just want to finger paint…
Tribute=………..
Tribute= What are you, a bunch of children!!!
Everyone= Yes sir.
Tribute= Well shut it then!!!
“The whole army starts to cry”
Small Boy In The crowd= Stop screaming. “weep weep”
Tribute= I can’t take this anymore!!!
“Tribute walk of into the desert. He walks for almost 30 minutes until he runs into a group of stone shiny pillars”
Tribute= Yawn. My army probably put that there just to scare me.
“Tribute walks in the middle of the pillars. Lights surround Tribute until he is in a forest cave with roses lining the walls and rabbits hoping around aimlessly”
Tribute= Yawn. This is a dumb dream I’m having. Might as well look through this crazy place.
“Tribute walks to steps then steps over a rabbits tail. The rabbit gets outraged and punches madly at Tributes leg”
Tribute= Just because you have given me 7 bruises now doesn’t mean you are hurting me you rabbit thing.
“He kicks the rabbit away and walks on until he reaches the end of the cave where there is a purple stone floating happily”
Tribute= Yawn. What a boring looking stone.
“He touches the stone lightly then starts hurting all over. His body seemed to decay from the inside. He couldn’t bare to move. All he could do is wait until the pain was over. When the pain finally subsided Tribute looked at himself”
Tribute= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’ve turned into (dramatic music) Barney the Dinosaur. Hahaha, hello kids.
Time: 8:12am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Too weird. Could this have something to do with my uncle’s death? Could I have put myself in a position of danger right now? Could all this be a bad dream? Could all this be happing? Could Micheal Jackson make a new cd!!!! No that is too scary. I just want to read on for some reason…
“Afro Joe turns the page and sees a picture of a extremely white man. Like before he reads as if he were the white man”
Time: 8:54am/August 17, 1972
Dark Mark- The Protector
*Dark Mark is reading the ETERNAL LIGHTNESS book next to the Lit Temple in the wildnerness*
Dark Mark= This book only has one page and it is about Barney!!! What a cheap book. Who ever made it just wants to trick me because I’m albino.
“Dark Mark stands from the ground”
Dark Mark= A good book would be about albino people and ponies. Well I think I better look through this creepy looking cave because I have nothing better to do.
“As soon as Dark Mark walks passed the entrance, a huge door closes behind him”
Dark Mark= Ahh, they probably just kept me here because I’m albino!!
“Dark Mark walks further into the well lit temple until he sees teddy bears on the floor”
Dark Mark= What would this be doing in a temple?
“The teddy bears suddenly get up and start chasing Dark Mark because they want a hug. Dark Mark screams like a girl and jolts down the temple until he gets to a room where a stone statue of a blonde 14 year old girl stood”
Dark Mark= I think I’m safe here. Wow cool statue.
“The statue’s eyes open widely and reveal a bright blue shade”
Teenage Statue= Like hi.
Dark Mark= Um….hi
Teenage Statue= Like you would never guess what like happened to me in the mall the other day.
Dark Mark= Um….I don’t care.
Teenage Statue= Hehe, of course you do silly man. You are silly you know. Well like I was saying, Billy was like all over Jessica but Billy was going out with Mary at the time. So I came and said no you don’t boy. And he’s like “what” and I’m like “You don’t do that to my girlfriend. Uh uh.” And he is like “so”
Dark Mark= DON”T care!!
Teenage Statue= Well then all the people in the mall were like like “No you didn’t boy” and I was like ”Um huh” then he is like “duh” and then I’m like……….
7 hours later
Teenage Statue= So I’m like “No the Rugrats are much better than the PowerPuff Girls” and he’s like “No” and I’m like “well just don’t cheat on her then” and he’s like “OK”. Great story right?
“Dark Mark wakes up”
Dark Mark= Huh what, oh yes great.
“A loud noise rumbles through the temple”
Teenage Statue= Oh no, he is like here. Dark Mark you are such a cool guy and I trust you to keep this away from anyone and anything. It is an immortality stone and don’t let anyone have it!!!
“The statue throws the stone into Dark Mark’s mouth and he starts choking on it. Barney and two small children with swords twice their size, walk into the room”
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, kid where is that pretty immortality stone.
Dark Mark= “choke choke”
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, so you wont give me the information I want. Are you willing to not live for it. Hahaha.
Dark Mark= No “choke” you could have it “choke”
Tribute Barney= I can’t understand anything you are saying but I heard you said no. Lets get him boys.
“Tribute opens his mouth widely”
Tribute Barney= I love you. You love me. We are a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you….
“Dark Mark dies instantly”
Time: 8:54am/ November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Reading that made me kind of dizzy. I’m beginning to get scared.
“Afro Joe looks up and sees the pies jumping rope”
Pies= Mary had a little lamb whom had a face as white as snow.
“Afro Joe rubs his eyes and sees that he was just seeing things”
Afro Joe= This is getting scary.
“Afro Joe then turns the page and sees a picture of a priest. He reads as if he looked through his eyes”
Time= 9:43am/December 25, 1973
Drunk Cow- The Poisoning
*Drunk Cow is in a chapel*
“A delivery woman in bright white clothing begins talking to him”
Delivery woman= Hehe, hi sir. May you please deliver this is to Mr. Pencilneck?
“The delivery woman passes Drunk Cow a box of chocolates”
Drunk Cow= Can’t you just deliver it. You are the delivery person you know.
Delivery woman= I know but you must take it
Drunk Cow= I’m in love.
Delivery woman= Excuse me.
Drunk Cow= Oh, that means I’m confused…
Delivery woman= Wierdo…
“She walks off”
Drunk Cow= Well let me just take a taste of one of these chocolates. You know just to see if they are safe.
“Drunk Cow opens the box and eats a small chocolate”
Drunk Cow= Ahhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhh! Ohhhh, Ahhhhh!
“Drunk Cow falls on the floor”
Drunk Cow= Err, these cho-colates …..these cho-colates are…..DELICIOUS!!!
“He stands back up and gives a glance at Mr. Pencilneck who is a few feet away from him. He is looking at Drunk Cow strangely”
Drunk Cow= These are for you.
“He hands over the chocolates. As soon as their he hands it to him he gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Drunk Cow= I’m in love again.
“Drunk Cow sees 2 statues in the distance, he walks over slowly and reads the caption under 1 of the sculptures”
Drunk Cow= It says that this mans name was Dark Mark the Protector. Still in love.
“Drunk Cow now lays his eyes on the book which read ETERNAL LIGHTNESS. He opens it only to see two pages, one of a mean man and one of a white man. He gets teleported to his house”
*Drunk Cow’s house*
Drunk Cow= Those chocolates sure were delicio…….wait a second. Mr. Pencilneck is allergic to chocolates!!!
“Drunk Cow gets on the phone in a hurry and a police officer picks up”
Police man= Sorry, Mr. Cow but there is no one at this address named Mr. Pencilneck”
“Drunk Cow puts down the phone and looks out the window. All he could see were flashes of light and people eating chocolates”
Drunk Cow= What did that chocolate do to me!!! I have gone INSANE!!!
Time: 9:43am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
“Afro Joe lets out a huge gulp”
Afro Joe= What was that noise?
“Afro Joe hears sounds of small girls playing hop scotch”
Afro Joe= I’m beginning to hear things too!!! But I have to finish this book for some reason.
“Afro Joe turns the page and sees a picture of an old man. He read as if through his eyes”
Time: 10:00am/August 4, 1995
Maddmun- The Retrieval
*Maddmun is in front of the Lit Temple with his grandson Gasmask*
Maddmun= Ha, after almost 15 years I made it to the temple.
Gasmask= Yea, finally.
Maddmun= Gasmask, that was a horrible post!! “Yea, finally” that is just horrible!!!
Gasmask= Post? What are you talking about Maddmun.
Maddmun= You probably just said that to get a GAD.
Gasmask= Maddmun, are you still talking about how you have never won a GAD so you bash on anyone who tries to win won.
Maddmun= “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
Gasmask= Lets just go on grandpa.
“Maddmun takes out a map and walks through the temple entrance. As soon as he does he gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Maddmun= Ahhhh where am I. Hey, where is my sonny.
“In a attempt to find Gasmask, Maddmun runs into a floating book next to 3 stone sculptures. One of a priest, one of a white man, and one of a mean man”
Maddmun= What in tarnation? ETERNAL LIGHTNESS what does that mean. Hey there is only 3 pages. What a cheap book, who ever made it probably just did it for a GAD.
“Maddmun is teleported into a room of the temple”
Maddmun= Where is that grandson of mine? Hey are you my grandson?
“He points at a dead body on the floor”
Maddmun= Well are you? Answer me!!!
Dead Dark Mark= Wait!!! You can’t expect me to talk so fast when I’m dead. You probably are only screaming at me because I’m albino.
Maddmun= Ha, I bet you only died only to win a GAD. “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
Dead Dark Mark= There is no time to fight. Take this and run away and put it in a place that Barney will never find it.
“Dead Dark Mark spits out the immortality stone and Maddmun picks it up”
Dead Dark Mark= Now run!!!
“Maddmun runs toward the exit of the temple where he finds Gasmask. Maddmun takes his hand and together they run toward Gerrid’s museum. When they get there they barge through the door. Gerrid scampers to the door with a knife in his hand”
Gerrid= I got BLADES man, BLADES!!!!!
Maddmun= We can’t talk we just need you to keep this here and protect it with your life!!!
Gerrid= O…..k
Time: 10:00am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Didn’t Goatboy tell me once that his place use to be a museum? Too strange.
“Afro Joe looks at a mirror next to him. In the mirror he sees that his afro has been replaced by a crew cut”
Afro Joe=Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, the insanity!!!
“Afro Joe turns the page one more time and sees a picture of Goatboy”
Afro Joe= You got to be joking with me!
“He begins to read. He puts himself in the position of his uncle”
Time: 7:00am/November 13, 2002
Goatboy- The Destruction of a Plan
*At Goatboy’s mansion*
Goatboy= Oh, I just know today is going to lick balls. Let me make French toast just to make me fell better. French toast licks balls.
“Goatboy goes to the kitchen and sees Barney the purple dinosaur”
Goatboy= Hey ball licker get out of my house!!!
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, kids it’s time for me to give this man a question. Hahaha, where is the stone?
Goatboy= Stones lick balls.
Tribute Barney= Hahaha, I need that stone!!!
Goatboy= No, you need to lick balls!!!
Tribute Barney= With that stone I could live forever! And if I do that I could make so many delicious chocolates to rule the world…Hahaha, so take this!!!!……………………. I love you. You love…
Goatboy= to lick balls.
Tribute Barney= No it goes I love you. You love me. We are….
Goatboy= licking balls.
“Goatboy suddenly gets teleported to a flower orchid”
Goatboy= Oh, flowers lick balls.
“Goatboy sees 4 statues and a floating book up ahead”
Goatboy= Floating books lick balls.
“He picks up the book and finds himself in front of Barney again”
Tribute Barney= Oh, hahaha, it is the book. I’m dieing. Oh, I’m dieing.
“Barney disappears”
Goatboy= Ow, this book licks balls!! I feel like making pies. But not the pies that lick balls though.
“Goatboy makes a bluberry pie, a cherry pie, a raspberry pie, and a pumpkin pie”
Goatboy= Why did I make a pumpkin pie? Pumpkin pies lick balls like books.
“Goatboy finds some chocolates on the floor”
Goatboy= Chocolates are ok but they still lick balls.
“He eats one and the flavor is too delicious for him he gets a knife and slices himself open just to stop his taste buds from exploding with joy”
Time: 10:12am/November 13, 2002
Afro Joe
Afro Joe= Ohhh, uncle just ruined the book with that ending. And there was no porno in the WHOLE THING!!! I’m scared out of my mind right now I have to get out of this place.
“Afro Joe puts down the book and runs to the door. He trips on something”
Afro Joe= Awww, what did I trip on!!!
“Afro Joe looks down and sees that he triped on a powerful looking stone. Afro Joe then looks to his right and sees a pile of porn”
Afro Joe= Porno!!! Woooo porn!!!
“Afro Joe picks up the porn and goes home singing joyfully”
Drunk
Thank you berry muchness for reading.
Wow, this took me a long time to right.
Drunk Cow wrote:
> Police Officer Guy Man Sir= We will be leaving now.
>
> Afro Joe= You are not even going to take the body.
>
> Another Officer= No that’s yucky.
>
> Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Agreed. Lets go.
>
LOL classic
Suprisingly funny and suprisingly I read the whole thing. You really are drunk aren't you?
> Police Officer Guy Man Sir= We will be leaving now.
>
> Afro Joe= You are not even going to take the body.
>
> Another Officer= No that’s yucky.
>
> Police Officer Guy Man Sir= Agreed. Lets go.
>
LOL classic
Suprisingly funny and suprisingly I read the whole thing. You really are drunk aren't you?
Great post, Drunk Cow. And I'm saying this just because I'm albino, y'know.
Wow thanks for the good comments guys!!:0
*thumbs up*
It was wick-a-mondo, don'tcha know!
It was wick-a-mondo, don'tcha know!
Drunk Cow wrote:
> Maddmun= “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
heh, didn't even need to say it this time, still, you deserve one...
and i've only said that....
*counts fingers*
*counts toes*
*counts hair*
GAH, I'm running out of things to count!
> Maddmun= “cough” GAD attempt “cough”
heh, didn't even need to say it this time, still, you deserve one...
and i've only said that....
*counts fingers*
*counts toes*
*counts hair*
GAH, I'm running out of things to count!
and what happened to gerrid?
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