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There is a hard patter on the floor and Pb quickly rushes up from his seat to see it if was his 36th GAD. In the near future, Pb won his 36th GAD, you see.
"Damn. Bills. Bills. Ahem. Bills. Eh?" says Pb in surprise, staring at a rather small but glittery package with 'Concerning Special Reserve Notability Status' printed at the top.
"Must be important" announces Pb, as he walks back over to his chair and begins to unwrap it, ignoring the other items of mail that are laying on the patio floor, after falling out of his hands when he noticed this package. Pb, becrazed like a little child with a year-free gift-certificate at the Wacky Warehouse, pulled the final part off, unravelled the letter and read it aloud...in his head, if that made any sense (so the writer doubted).
"To the Notable whom it may concern,
As a Notable, you have been chosen to search for the Holy Gravel. We are actually unsure as to exactly what the Holy Gravel is, but we are sure that with your aid, we can uncover it. There is one minor detail: it will begin with a selection process, so there will be only three Notables searching for the Holy Gravel. This selection process is a shooting arena, where you will have to kill the other Notables until there are only three left, making them even more elite than before. These three will explore various locations, looking for the Holy Gravel, and when we find it, you will get rags, riches and all that other stuff that I can't be naffed to explain.
We depart..."
Pb stands there, his eyes nearly protruding out of his face, and his lower lip overhanging his mouth. A rather large puddle of saliva has formed at his feet, and a sharp slap to the face soon brings himself around. A smile emerges about Pb's face and he disappears upstairs, presumably preparing himself for the Quest for the Holy Gravel.
All that could be heard was the vaccum cleaner. And loads of screaming noises that sounded strangely enough like orgasms.
----------
Pb rises up out of his bed through yawns, groans and some sunlight drifting in through a half-open window.
"You Ok Gb?"
"Yes. You were great last night."
Pb goes red, before kicking the vaccum cleaner, kissing Gb and rolling out of bed, hitting his ar'e on the floor hard.
"Quest for the Holy Gravel!"
"Pb, what on Uranus are you talking about? I thought we were gonna sleep in today!"
"I thought that too, but I really have to go - Tony's calling me once again. Ye know, the guy that gives me all those free games and films."
"Oh - him. Well, don't be out too long love."
"I'll try."
By this time, Pb is dressed. He reaches into the closet and pulls out a coat hanger.
"I may need this."
Gb stares at him, confused, before Pb leaves.
----------
Pb walks into a small, but well-stocked shop, with a large, but intelligent-looking clerk. Before you start, they have gunshops - this is an American Gun Shop in Britain, ye see.
"Can I help ye?" says the clerk.
"Yes. I'm looking for a weapon that will protect me against 11 maniacs please."
"Come right this way...sir..."
The clerk walks to behind the counter, and Pb follows. He unclips a very large gun from the incredibly long rack. He hands it to Pb, who checks it out, aims with it and lays it down on the glass.
"Not bad. How much?"
"Two hundred."
"Quid?"
"No, sea monkeys."
Pb reaches down into his incredibly dark pockets and pulls out his credit card.
"Charge 'em please."
After a few seconds of that, he picks up the gun.
"Would you like it gift-wrapped sir?"
"No thanks."
...and leaves.
----------
"47 Nipul Evird - this should be it."
His sigh indicates that he is wrong yet again, and he is lost. Where the hell is 47 Nipul Evird? To his amazement, he finds a road sign on the floor that reads 47 Nipul Evird, he turns it up the right way, and with the quick 180 degree angular turn of his map, he's back on track to arriving.
"Oh for god's sake. Can't you bloody navigate?", says a voice, before a large hand appears from the sky, picks up Pb from the neck and drops him before a large building that must have been at least 20 or 30 stories high. Sheet-to-sheet with glass, it was an amazing sight to see, and it really had to be seen to be believed.
"Must be 'ere..."
Pb walks into the double doors and is graced by darkness and tranquility - it is desert and he can see nothing.
"Pb, you are finally here...and you are sh'te at navigating. Prepare to play for the right to search for the Holy Gravel.", says a voice.
The lights turn on, and the other 11 Notables stand before him.
"You have 30 minutes..."
----------
"Damn. Bills. Bills. Ahem. Bills. Eh?" says Pb in surprise, staring at a rather small but glittery package with 'Concerning Special Reserve Notability Status' printed at the top.
"Must be important" announces Pb, as he walks back over to his chair and begins to unwrap it, ignoring the other items of mail that are laying on the patio floor, after falling out of his hands when he noticed this package. Pb, becrazed like a little child with a year-free gift-certificate at the Wacky Warehouse, pulled the final part off, unravelled the letter and read it aloud...in his head, if that made any sense (so the writer doubted).
"To the Notable whom it may concern,
As a Notable, you have been chosen to search for the Holy Gravel. We are actually unsure as to exactly what the Holy Gravel is, but we are sure that with your aid, we can uncover it. There is one minor detail: it will begin with a selection process, so there will be only three Notables searching for the Holy Gravel. This selection process is a shooting arena, where you will have to kill the other Notables until there are only three left, making them even more elite than before. These three will explore various locations, looking for the Holy Gravel, and when we find it, you will get rags, riches and all that other stuff that I can't be naffed to explain.
We depart..."
Pb stands there, his eyes nearly protruding out of his face, and his lower lip overhanging his mouth. A rather large puddle of saliva has formed at his feet, and a sharp slap to the face soon brings himself around. A smile emerges about Pb's face and he disappears upstairs, presumably preparing himself for the Quest for the Holy Gravel.
All that could be heard was the vaccum cleaner. And loads of screaming noises that sounded strangely enough like orgasms.
----------
Pb rises up out of his bed through yawns, groans and some sunlight drifting in through a half-open window.
"You Ok Gb?"
"Yes. You were great last night."
Pb goes red, before kicking the vaccum cleaner, kissing Gb and rolling out of bed, hitting his ar'e on the floor hard.
"Quest for the Holy Gravel!"
"Pb, what on Uranus are you talking about? I thought we were gonna sleep in today!"
"I thought that too, but I really have to go - Tony's calling me once again. Ye know, the guy that gives me all those free games and films."
"Oh - him. Well, don't be out too long love."
"I'll try."
By this time, Pb is dressed. He reaches into the closet and pulls out a coat hanger.
"I may need this."
Gb stares at him, confused, before Pb leaves.
----------
Pb walks into a small, but well-stocked shop, with a large, but intelligent-looking clerk. Before you start, they have gunshops - this is an American Gun Shop in Britain, ye see.
"Can I help ye?" says the clerk.
"Yes. I'm looking for a weapon that will protect me against 11 maniacs please."
"Come right this way...sir..."
The clerk walks to behind the counter, and Pb follows. He unclips a very large gun from the incredibly long rack. He hands it to Pb, who checks it out, aims with it and lays it down on the glass.
"Not bad. How much?"
"Two hundred."
"Quid?"
"No, sea monkeys."
Pb reaches down into his incredibly dark pockets and pulls out his credit card.
"Charge 'em please."
After a few seconds of that, he picks up the gun.
"Would you like it gift-wrapped sir?"
"No thanks."
...and leaves.
----------
"47 Nipul Evird - this should be it."
His sigh indicates that he is wrong yet again, and he is lost. Where the hell is 47 Nipul Evird? To his amazement, he finds a road sign on the floor that reads 47 Nipul Evird, he turns it up the right way, and with the quick 180 degree angular turn of his map, he's back on track to arriving.
"Oh for god's sake. Can't you bloody navigate?", says a voice, before a large hand appears from the sky, picks up Pb from the neck and drops him before a large building that must have been at least 20 or 30 stories high. Sheet-to-sheet with glass, it was an amazing sight to see, and it really had to be seen to be believed.
"Must be 'ere..."
Pb walks into the double doors and is graced by darkness and tranquility - it is desert and he can see nothing.
"Pb, you are finally here...and you are sh'te at navigating. Prepare to play for the right to search for the Holy Gravel.", says a voice.
The lights turn on, and the other 11 Notables stand before him.
"You have 30 minutes..."
----------
Page:
DAY 2 - 9:41am
Meka and YH are woken by footsteps. It's Tony.
"Get a good night's sleep? Good. Your Honour - Air Challenge this morning! Wake up, you're needed pronto!"
YH rubs at his eyes and feels a jolt in his spine.
"A little pushing headstart never hurt anyone, ye know."
"Argh!", screams YH as he flies on the glider, after being pushed off of the cliff by Tony.
"Is that safe?", asks Meka.
"100%, and if he dies, we get to claim £1000 life insurance..."
"Ok..."
YH finally gets some stability and begins flying in a straight line. He soon becomes a small dot, barely viewable by the naked eye.
----------
YH lands on the island with a large thud, unable to control his flying 'abilities'. He falls down to earth, shakes his head and looks around. Suddenly, a large shadow emerges around him.
"Woooooah!" are YH's last words before he is clobbered over the head with a coconut, unconscious. It was a massive coconut, you see. YH stays there for hours, just knocked out by the coconut.
----------
"Hey Tony, shouldn't YH be back by now?"
"Why yes, he should, but it can take a while by air to even get there. Give it another 45 minutes."
"I see. Alright..."
45 minutes soon passes and there is no sign of YH.
"That's it! We're going to look for YH - I just don't care anymore, we're going to look for him, and we're going to find him. Then we're gonna find er-no and we're all gonna get off this island in one piece, you hear me?"
Meka, not one to normally overeact, was overeacting for the first time that most people have seen. He runs over to the boat, sticks an oar in the water and begins to paddle.
"Coming?"
"I suppose so..."
Meka hands him a paddle and they begin to travel to the island where YH is situated. He is there, somewhere.
----------
We are now at another part of the island - it is rocky, and we can hear a familiar sound.
"Aha! That should do the trick.", says er-no, who has tape around his head and what looks like a light wound slightly below it.
"Now to find the others, but first..."
er-no picks up a stick, for protection purposes, or just that it made him look cool and badass, I don't know.
----------
Meka and YH are woken by footsteps. It's Tony.
"Get a good night's sleep? Good. Your Honour - Air Challenge this morning! Wake up, you're needed pronto!"
YH rubs at his eyes and feels a jolt in his spine.
"A little pushing headstart never hurt anyone, ye know."
"Argh!", screams YH as he flies on the glider, after being pushed off of the cliff by Tony.
"Is that safe?", asks Meka.
"100%, and if he dies, we get to claim £1000 life insurance..."
"Ok..."
YH finally gets some stability and begins flying in a straight line. He soon becomes a small dot, barely viewable by the naked eye.
----------
YH lands on the island with a large thud, unable to control his flying 'abilities'. He falls down to earth, shakes his head and looks around. Suddenly, a large shadow emerges around him.
"Woooooah!" are YH's last words before he is clobbered over the head with a coconut, unconscious. It was a massive coconut, you see. YH stays there for hours, just knocked out by the coconut.
----------
"Hey Tony, shouldn't YH be back by now?"
"Why yes, he should, but it can take a while by air to even get there. Give it another 45 minutes."
"I see. Alright..."
45 minutes soon passes and there is no sign of YH.
"That's it! We're going to look for YH - I just don't care anymore, we're going to look for him, and we're going to find him. Then we're gonna find er-no and we're all gonna get off this island in one piece, you hear me?"
Meka, not one to normally overeact, was overeacting for the first time that most people have seen. He runs over to the boat, sticks an oar in the water and begins to paddle.
"Coming?"
"I suppose so..."
Meka hands him a paddle and they begin to travel to the island where YH is situated. He is there, somewhere.
----------
We are now at another part of the island - it is rocky, and we can hear a familiar sound.
"Aha! That should do the trick.", says er-no, who has tape around his head and what looks like a light wound slightly below it.
"Now to find the others, but first..."
er-no picks up a stick, for protection purposes, or just that it made him look cool and badass, I don't know.
----------
We are now on a cliff, above their tent. Tony points to a glider and er-no interprets this as "Get the hell on the glider now you incompotent moron!", and so er-no follows those orders. However, he argues that he isn't an incompotent moron.
er-no attatches himself to the glider.
"Now what do I do?"
"Go!"
And with that, Tony pushes er-no and er-no screams before falling off the edge. He flaps like a bird and stupidly enough, he begins gliding. Albeit somewhat unorthodox, but it still does the trick.
"Haha! In your face Tony - I can fly!", were er-no's final words before Tony pressed a button on his magic little remote, sending two birds after er-no, pecking him to the ground and presumably to death, we don't quite know er-no's status at this stage.
"Noooooooo!", screams YH.
"It's Ok, Meka, YH, he's gone to a better place...or will be in about 15 seconds..."
"You b'stard!", shouts YH, as he lunges at Tony and lands a decent punch at him, knocking the control out of hands and into Meka's.
"Push all the buttons! We gotta call off that flock of birds!"
Meka pushes all the buttons frantically, resulting in a few Geri Halliwell moments, before they see the birds flying past.
"Yay! It worked! Let's go check er-no though YH."
They slowly climb down the cliff and snoop around. There is no sign of er-no.
"Very clever indeed young ones.", states Tony. "I really never thought you'd overpower me. Well, you have, but you won't find er-no here - that's just a blantant waste of your time."
"So where is he?", asks Meka.
"He'll be held in our medical facility until you two can complete the challenges yourselves or when you can come and fectch him, which is a lot more dangerous than all the challenges put together."
"Fine. We'll go get him!"
"Wait Mr Honour, it's not that easy. Are you going to rush to the medical facility, risking ever getting to the Holy Gravel by being killed on the way to the medical facility or get the Holy Gravel first? Do the right thing..."
"...erm...Ok, we'll get the dirt first...but what is of the air challenge?"
"One of you must do it."
"I'll do it Meka. My jokes are lighter than air - they'll keep me up if nothing else will!"
"Ok, so Mr Honour will be partaking in the air challenge. You already know what to do. Here's a glider - attatch it and get started."
"Can't I rest first?"
"I suppose. We'll begin in the morning."
----------
er-no attatches himself to the glider.
"Now what do I do?"
"Go!"
And with that, Tony pushes er-no and er-no screams before falling off the edge. He flaps like a bird and stupidly enough, he begins gliding. Albeit somewhat unorthodox, but it still does the trick.
"Haha! In your face Tony - I can fly!", were er-no's final words before Tony pressed a button on his magic little remote, sending two birds after er-no, pecking him to the ground and presumably to death, we don't quite know er-no's status at this stage.
"Noooooooo!", screams YH.
"It's Ok, Meka, YH, he's gone to a better place...or will be in about 15 seconds..."
"You b'stard!", shouts YH, as he lunges at Tony and lands a decent punch at him, knocking the control out of hands and into Meka's.
"Push all the buttons! We gotta call off that flock of birds!"
Meka pushes all the buttons frantically, resulting in a few Geri Halliwell moments, before they see the birds flying past.
"Yay! It worked! Let's go check er-no though YH."
They slowly climb down the cliff and snoop around. There is no sign of er-no.
"Very clever indeed young ones.", states Tony. "I really never thought you'd overpower me. Well, you have, but you won't find er-no here - that's just a blantant waste of your time."
"So where is he?", asks Meka.
"He'll be held in our medical facility until you two can complete the challenges yourselves or when you can come and fectch him, which is a lot more dangerous than all the challenges put together."
"Fine. We'll go get him!"
"Wait Mr Honour, it's not that easy. Are you going to rush to the medical facility, risking ever getting to the Holy Gravel by being killed on the way to the medical facility or get the Holy Gravel first? Do the right thing..."
"...erm...Ok, we'll get the dirt first...but what is of the air challenge?"
"One of you must do it."
"I'll do it Meka. My jokes are lighter than air - they'll keep me up if nothing else will!"
"Ok, so Mr Honour will be partaking in the air challenge. You already know what to do. Here's a glider - attatch it and get started."
"Can't I rest first?"
"I suppose. We'll begin in the morning."
----------
Tony points North West, sending them on their way, and after a few minutes worth of walking, they are at Zone 1 - the water Zone. It's blue and big, 'nuff said.
"Wooooooooooowwwwwww", proclaims a stunned er-no.
"Pretty big innit?", states Meka.
"No, replies YH simply.
"I suppose we'd better go in guys."
"I suppose. Meka, Joby, let's go."
And so they went into the Water Zone, where their lives may come to an end, or can they brave it? There is a loud rumbling before a voice begins speaking to the trio.
"Meka Dragon - please step forward."
Meka steps forward, confused by the light shafting in from the rumble.
"You have been selected to compete in the first task. You have large lungs and can swim well - this task should suit you well."
Just as Meka's ego inflates to the size of a large balloon, there is a loud bang and when he looks back, his comrades are behind a door and he is on his own.
"Meka - you must swim from here to that end of the island and collect the gravel there. I forgot to mention that there are sea monsters again, didn't I? Anyway, there is your mission - please begin."
Meka hesitantly slides into the water.
"So man, how long is it from here to the end of the island? It looks pretty damn far."
"Three miles. Is that too far for a Notable to swim?"
Meka looks in distain and begins to swim. He is fine for half the way, when he begins to stop, and all of a sudden, is dragged under the water. Yes, he COULD actually get killed! However, Meka pops his head up, marking the trick with a sheepish grin, probably making Tony shat his pants whereever he is. Meka continues and reaches the end finally, drags himself up onto the beach and falls over from tiredness.
"Sand...beautiful sand!", says Meka as he kisses the sand, which is conspicuous by it's absence.
Meka drags himself along, taking a sip of water from the nearby river before dragging himself over to a large pile of gleaming Gravel.
"Wow! What a great stash!", announces Meka, mesmerised by a large crop of green-ish plants. We weren't allowed to talk about the C-word ye see. That's Canab...you know the rest.
Meka turned his attention back to the gravel and shouted "How the hell do I return it?". Just then, as if to insult him, a bag flew down from the heavens and blasted Meka over the head. He interpreted it as this: Meka, you vegetable: quit funning about and collect the bloody Holy Gravel from Zone 1. Meka did as this suggested and slowly but surely collected up the Holy Gravel. However much he tried, he couldn't resist nibbling a little - he was very hugry, ye see. Just then, he hears a strange noise and out of the blue jumps a large tiger.
"Easy tiger. Want some lovely golden Gravel?"
Meka pours some and throws it to the tiger. The tiger looks at it strangely and eats a little. Within seconds, it keels over. After about an hour's rest, he swims the three miles back, give or take a few short-cuts. As Meka returns, he is met by cheers and whistles all around.
"Meka, you have completed the Water challenge - er-no, it's now time for you to participate in the Air Zone challenge."
er-no steps forward, looking valiant, yet inspired by Meka's efforts.
"You will have to do the same, but with a glider. Meka had a tiger - expect something that may be even worse. You will be tortured."
----------
"Wooooooooooowwwwwww", proclaims a stunned er-no.
"Pretty big innit?", states Meka.
"No, replies YH simply.
"I suppose we'd better go in guys."
"I suppose. Meka, Joby, let's go."
And so they went into the Water Zone, where their lives may come to an end, or can they brave it? There is a loud rumbling before a voice begins speaking to the trio.
"Meka Dragon - please step forward."
Meka steps forward, confused by the light shafting in from the rumble.
"You have been selected to compete in the first task. You have large lungs and can swim well - this task should suit you well."
Just as Meka's ego inflates to the size of a large balloon, there is a loud bang and when he looks back, his comrades are behind a door and he is on his own.
"Meka - you must swim from here to that end of the island and collect the gravel there. I forgot to mention that there are sea monsters again, didn't I? Anyway, there is your mission - please begin."
Meka hesitantly slides into the water.
"So man, how long is it from here to the end of the island? It looks pretty damn far."
"Three miles. Is that too far for a Notable to swim?"
Meka looks in distain and begins to swim. He is fine for half the way, when he begins to stop, and all of a sudden, is dragged under the water. Yes, he COULD actually get killed! However, Meka pops his head up, marking the trick with a sheepish grin, probably making Tony shat his pants whereever he is. Meka continues and reaches the end finally, drags himself up onto the beach and falls over from tiredness.
"Sand...beautiful sand!", says Meka as he kisses the sand, which is conspicuous by it's absence.
Meka drags himself along, taking a sip of water from the nearby river before dragging himself over to a large pile of gleaming Gravel.
"Wow! What a great stash!", announces Meka, mesmerised by a large crop of green-ish plants. We weren't allowed to talk about the C-word ye see. That's Canab...you know the rest.
Meka turned his attention back to the gravel and shouted "How the hell do I return it?". Just then, as if to insult him, a bag flew down from the heavens and blasted Meka over the head. He interpreted it as this: Meka, you vegetable: quit funning about and collect the bloody Holy Gravel from Zone 1. Meka did as this suggested and slowly but surely collected up the Holy Gravel. However much he tried, he couldn't resist nibbling a little - he was very hugry, ye see. Just then, he hears a strange noise and out of the blue jumps a large tiger.
"Easy tiger. Want some lovely golden Gravel?"
Meka pours some and throws it to the tiger. The tiger looks at it strangely and eats a little. Within seconds, it keels over. After about an hour's rest, he swims the three miles back, give or take a few short-cuts. As Meka returns, he is met by cheers and whistles all around.
"Meka, you have completed the Water challenge - er-no, it's now time for you to participate in the Air Zone challenge."
er-no steps forward, looking valiant, yet inspired by Meka's efforts.
"You will have to do the same, but with a glider. Meka had a tiger - expect something that may be even worse. You will be tortured."
----------
"Here's where you paid to go. Now gimme my crap apples damnit!"
"Yes, here you go. As I promised."
Tony hands a large sack to the driver, who loads it in his 'laxi' before departing.
"Woah! Tony, why did the guy leave?", asks YH.
"Because you will not be leaving this island for a while...and we can't be bothered to dose the laxi driver with sedatives - the last guy SUED us!"
The three look blankly at Tony, who points to the sand.
"You will set up camp here, a fair distance from the Temple and other obstacles. Get ready men - you have an hour to unpack and set up the tent."
Tony hands them a fold-out tent, they lay down their bags and get to work.
----------
"Nice work lads! Really..."
Standing before Tony is an incredibly large sandcastle - probably the biggest one you'll ever see.
"And we didn't even use the tent...", adds er-no.
"I see."
"What do you want us to do now before we look for the Holy Gravel?", asks Meka.
"Before you traipse around the island, I am going to give you a map and tell you about the areas. Now, area 1 is North West, and is the water zone - it may contain water creatures and will involve a healthy ammount of swimming. The air zone is North East of here and will involve flying on gliders and other instruments. Some stages may involve holding your breath."
Tony chuckles as the three sound concerned.
"And then just ahead is the temple - the most dangerous zone of all that will test your entire being, and it's likely that you will not succeed here. If you succeed in finding the Holy Gravel from each zone, you must exit the temple at the end with it all and I will meet you and take you home. Now, if you've mastered all that, then here are some rules. If someone is killed in action, leave them and continue the quest. You can use any means to get the Holy Gravel from each of the three stages, by means of stealing etc. After each zone is complete, I will tell you via personal address systems littered over the island and you will know if something is going on. Good luck men - oh yes, and you have 72 hours."
"What happens if we don't find them after 72 hours?", asks er-no.
"We leave you here and go back to SR towers. Now go to zone 1 - the water zone!"
----------
"Yes, here you go. As I promised."
Tony hands a large sack to the driver, who loads it in his 'laxi' before departing.
"Woah! Tony, why did the guy leave?", asks YH.
"Because you will not be leaving this island for a while...and we can't be bothered to dose the laxi driver with sedatives - the last guy SUED us!"
The three look blankly at Tony, who points to the sand.
"You will set up camp here, a fair distance from the Temple and other obstacles. Get ready men - you have an hour to unpack and set up the tent."
Tony hands them a fold-out tent, they lay down their bags and get to work.
----------
"Nice work lads! Really..."
Standing before Tony is an incredibly large sandcastle - probably the biggest one you'll ever see.
"And we didn't even use the tent...", adds er-no.
"I see."
"What do you want us to do now before we look for the Holy Gravel?", asks Meka.
"Before you traipse around the island, I am going to give you a map and tell you about the areas. Now, area 1 is North West, and is the water zone - it may contain water creatures and will involve a healthy ammount of swimming. The air zone is North East of here and will involve flying on gliders and other instruments. Some stages may involve holding your breath."
Tony chuckles as the three sound concerned.
"And then just ahead is the temple - the most dangerous zone of all that will test your entire being, and it's likely that you will not succeed here. If you succeed in finding the Holy Gravel from each zone, you must exit the temple at the end with it all and I will meet you and take you home. Now, if you've mastered all that, then here are some rules. If someone is killed in action, leave them and continue the quest. You can use any means to get the Holy Gravel from each of the three stages, by means of stealing etc. After each zone is complete, I will tell you via personal address systems littered over the island and you will know if something is going on. Good luck men - oh yes, and you have 72 hours."
"What happens if we don't find them after 72 hours?", asks er-no.
"We leave you here and go back to SR towers. Now go to zone 1 - the water zone!"
----------
"...enihs dna esir!", says a blurry voice, through all their heads, unaware of their location or what the hell they are exactly doing or where they're going.
"What?", replies er-no, sipping on a bottle of beer, still half-asleep
"Rise and shine!"
And with that, they are all suddenly awake and alert, because the story writer just found it too early in the morning to explain it any other way.
"Time to search for the Holy Gravel. Here on your table lay boots, fulvcans, quivers, swords, tights, hats, suits and corrective boxer shorts for your comforting needs. We begin in 20 minutes, gentlemen...", says Tony, chuckling to himself that they have the moniker 'gentlemen'.
----------
"YH!? You STILL in there? Damn!", says Tony, looking in destain at the toilet door.
YH finally walks out, with a news paper and is dressed in suit.
"Uh, YH, we're not going to see the Queen of Dul Jabar, ye know.", states Meka.
YH looks slightly embarrassed and goes back into the toilet, as Tony tries to stop him.
"I'll only be a sec guys."
YH soon emerges in an Indiana Jones-style get-up, wip 'n all.
"Let's go."
And so they went. They went on the number 11 bus eastbound to the Thames River.
"Why are we here Tony?", asks Meka. Meka was always one to ask the sensible questions, ye see.
"We have someone here to transport us via speedboat."
"Can I have a sandwhich?", asks er-no
"Wait - I may be able to help you little one."
er-no looks excited as Meka forks out a sandwhich and hands it to er-no, who devours it in a few seconds.
"What a strange boy."
"Here's our ride!"
Up pulls a speedboat.
"Someone call a laxi?"
"Yes, we did. Hop on people!", announces Tony.
"Take us to that desolate island please. Thanks."
And so, after 7 sandwhiches, 3 cups of coffee and 2 stories of pills and thrills, they were there. And man - what a bloody dump it was too!
----------
"What?", replies er-no, sipping on a bottle of beer, still half-asleep
"Rise and shine!"
And with that, they are all suddenly awake and alert, because the story writer just found it too early in the morning to explain it any other way.
"Time to search for the Holy Gravel. Here on your table lay boots, fulvcans, quivers, swords, tights, hats, suits and corrective boxer shorts for your comforting needs. We begin in 20 minutes, gentlemen...", says Tony, chuckling to himself that they have the moniker 'gentlemen'.
----------
"YH!? You STILL in there? Damn!", says Tony, looking in destain at the toilet door.
YH finally walks out, with a news paper and is dressed in suit.
"Uh, YH, we're not going to see the Queen of Dul Jabar, ye know.", states Meka.
YH looks slightly embarrassed and goes back into the toilet, as Tony tries to stop him.
"I'll only be a sec guys."
YH soon emerges in an Indiana Jones-style get-up, wip 'n all.
"Let's go."
And so they went. They went on the number 11 bus eastbound to the Thames River.
"Why are we here Tony?", asks Meka. Meka was always one to ask the sensible questions, ye see.
"We have someone here to transport us via speedboat."
"Can I have a sandwhich?", asks er-no
"Wait - I may be able to help you little one."
er-no looks excited as Meka forks out a sandwhich and hands it to er-no, who devours it in a few seconds.
"What a strange boy."
"Here's our ride!"
Up pulls a speedboat.
"Someone call a laxi?"
"Yes, we did. Hop on people!", announces Tony.
"Take us to that desolate island please. Thanks."
And so, after 7 sandwhiches, 3 cups of coffee and 2 stories of pills and thrills, they were there. And man - what a bloody dump it was too!
----------
Before Pb stand some of his best friends, but they will have to die for the Holy Gravel. Pb wants this, and he will kill to get it.
FantasyMeister
Grix Thraves
Meka_Dragon
Sniper
Ant
er-no
SHEEPY
Wookiee Monster
Goatboy
RastaBillySkank
Your Honour
They would have to die. And so the human circus began - with arms flying left and right. Sheepy was the first one to go, those stone throws made him vulnerable, and 27 bullets from Your Honour even more so. Sniper was sent packing, ironically being sniperered by Pb. Ant's age was his downfall, and in a hail of bullets from FM, he was no more. Rasta also showed weeknesses in strength by being overpowered by Wooks and having his head promptly blasted off by a Shotgun. er-no and Goatboy sandwhiched Wooks in between a knife, leaving him with two pieces of elongated leather handles protruding out of his head. During a crossfire between FM and Grix, Goatboy caught a stray bullet.
FantasyMeister
Grix Thraves
Meka_Dragon
er-no
Your Honour
We are down to the final 5 - two more must die before we can advance any further. These five sh'thead friends must put...ah bagger it - let's get onto the grisly bits! But before anything else can happen, a figure emerges from the dark.
"Boys. I have a way of finishing off the final two - a game of Russian Roulette. Click the gun, and if you die, you're out...well, obviously.", says Tony.
He loads the gun with one bullet and hands it to FM. FM glances over it, puts it to his head and shoots, whilst smiling. The others jump out, trying to stop him, but it's too late - FM is dead. Tony snatches the gun, re-loads it and hands it to the next one in line, Grix. He aims it at it's head.
"It's never the first bullet. Heh."
Just then, Grix falls to the floor with blood dripping out of his mouth, and the fall of the gun coldens this blow even more. Tony hands the gun to Meka after re-loading it.
"Your turn."
Meka gulps, before pointing the gun to his head.
"Later guys..."
Meka shoots and the gun barrel clicks. Meka sighs a sigh of relief and hands the gun to er-no. er-no shoots and once again the barrel clicks. He forks it over to pb, who also shoots, and in a flurry of blood and cold shouting, pb is dead. Tony walks over to Meka, er-no and Your Honour, with a smug smile on his face and takes the gun.
"Gentlemen, you have shown that you are tough enough, and that you can handle the Holy Gravel. You will travel across many areas, and it will not be easy, but this will be the ultimate accessory for your Notablity. My friends, we begin in the morning..."
----------
FantasyMeister
Grix Thraves
Meka_Dragon
Sniper
Ant
er-no
SHEEPY
Wookiee Monster
Goatboy
RastaBillySkank
Your Honour
They would have to die. And so the human circus began - with arms flying left and right. Sheepy was the first one to go, those stone throws made him vulnerable, and 27 bullets from Your Honour even more so. Sniper was sent packing, ironically being sniperered by Pb. Ant's age was his downfall, and in a hail of bullets from FM, he was no more. Rasta also showed weeknesses in strength by being overpowered by Wooks and having his head promptly blasted off by a Shotgun. er-no and Goatboy sandwhiched Wooks in between a knife, leaving him with two pieces of elongated leather handles protruding out of his head. During a crossfire between FM and Grix, Goatboy caught a stray bullet.
FantasyMeister
Grix Thraves
Meka_Dragon
er-no
Your Honour
We are down to the final 5 - two more must die before we can advance any further. These five sh'thead friends must put...ah bagger it - let's get onto the grisly bits! But before anything else can happen, a figure emerges from the dark.
"Boys. I have a way of finishing off the final two - a game of Russian Roulette. Click the gun, and if you die, you're out...well, obviously.", says Tony.
He loads the gun with one bullet and hands it to FM. FM glances over it, puts it to his head and shoots, whilst smiling. The others jump out, trying to stop him, but it's too late - FM is dead. Tony snatches the gun, re-loads it and hands it to the next one in line, Grix. He aims it at it's head.
"It's never the first bullet. Heh."
Just then, Grix falls to the floor with blood dripping out of his mouth, and the fall of the gun coldens this blow even more. Tony hands the gun to Meka after re-loading it.
"Your turn."
Meka gulps, before pointing the gun to his head.
"Later guys..."
Meka shoots and the gun barrel clicks. Meka sighs a sigh of relief and hands the gun to er-no. er-no shoots and once again the barrel clicks. He forks it over to pb, who also shoots, and in a flurry of blood and cold shouting, pb is dead. Tony walks over to Meka, er-no and Your Honour, with a smug smile on his face and takes the gun.
"Gentlemen, you have shown that you are tough enough, and that you can handle the Holy Gravel. You will travel across many areas, and it will not be easy, but this will be the ultimate accessory for your Notablity. My friends, we begin in the morning..."
----------
well i was asked to reply by shaneo so i did, it was quite funny but nothing really to say as i wasn't in it LOL
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