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We’ve had “OAP Interactive”, catering for the elderly and mature breed of gamer, and then gaming for geezers from “Mockney Interactive”, now the moment you’ve all been waiting for:
The rich upper classes have a games company now, and they are “Aristocrat Interactive”.
What follows is a press release from this big new company:
******************************
Aristocrat Interactive: “A better breed of game for a better class of gamer.”
PRESS RELEASE FROM ARISTOCRAT INTERACTIVE:
For far too long now video games have been seen as a leisure activity enjoyed exclusively by the lower classes. All this is to change now, as “Aristocrat Interactive” is here to give you toffee-nosed snobs a jolly super time. Here is our exclusive line up for 2002:
VIRTUAL FOX HUNTING:
Recently, controversy has sold many a video game. We’ve seen “GTA3” and “State of Emergency”, and then there was “Dale Winton’s Virtual C0ck Fighting” the game that caused a national outrage. Now, Aristocrat Interactive is pleased to announce the video game based on the most controversial of all “sports”, Virtual Fox Hunting.
Enjoy the splendid sight of dogs cruelly ripping a fox to pieces from the comfort of your stately manor.
Accurate renditions of all your favourite hunt locations and well-modelled horses and dogs plus crowds of vile anti-hunt protestors/ peasants, make this is the most accurate rendition of our sport yet.
Celebrity riders include the Marquis of Castlehaire, Viscount Eckersly and the 7th Earl of Sawbridgeworth.
Part of the Aristocrat Interactive sports label.
“Virtual Fox Hunting, it’s not a privilege, it’s a right.”
ROGER MOORE’S VIRTUAL CROQUET:
Join Roger Moore in his luxury virtual mansion, complete with immaculate croquet lawns.
Gameplay is similar to that of a snooker game. Aim your cursor, select the power, and then hit the ball hoping to get it through the small metal gates, all enhanced with accurate ball physics.
Modes of play include “Championship”, “Arcade”, “Speed Croquet” and a Roger Moore led tutorial mode.
Your virtual character even has selectable clothes: from smoking jackets & tuxedoes, to stripy blazers, neckerchiefs and many more dapper garments.
Part of the Aristocrat Interactive sports label.
Other Aristocrat Interactive sports label games include:
POLO 2002: Long awaited video game of the posh sport. Featuring commentary and half time analysis from “that little posh boy with the curly blond afro who used to be on Antiques Roadshow and who is now a woman”. Secret bonus characters include Royal Princes Charles, William and Harry.
FENCING 2002: Enter the dynamic world of international fencing; just watch where you stick your sabre.
J.R HARTLEY’S VIRTUAL FLY FISHING: The real life actor is sadly now longer with us, but now you can enjoy the game based on his great book. With dynamic water and weather effects.
BUTLER CHARIOT RACING: A cartoony racer with a difference. Select your chariot and celebrity rider (including the 7th Duke of Wendleshire, Viscount of Chesterfield and David Gower), and then choose what slave/butler you wish to pull it.
Courses include glamorous locales such as Monaco, French Riviera and Italian Alps.
You will feel like a posh “Ben-Hur” with this fantastic title.
SIM COMMONER:
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a ghastly lower class smelly peasant?
Now you can live those ideas in “Sim Commoner”.
Based on the successful “Sims” engine, we are giving you the chance to control the destiny of either middle class suburban family or common as muck lower class scum.
You choose their housing, horrid taste in tacky furniture and control their inevitable struggle with debt problems. Your virtual family can enjoy lower class pursuits such as greyhound racing and pub-crawls.
PARTY ORGANISER 2002 EDITION:
Are you a socialite/ bachelor/ playboy/ it-girl, whose career is to attend flashy showbiz parties?
We know how tough it can be, so let Aristocrat Interactive help you sort out your hectic jet-set schedule with our “Party Organiser 2002 Edition”.
All the important social occasions are included on the CD-ROM, like hob-nobbing at the Monaco F1 GP, Cannes Film Festival, all the film premieres and the birthdays of known socialites.
Information can be transferred onto the spiffing little GameBoy Advance system, so you can have all that vital information on the move.
A must for all you E-List celebrities!
TITLES DUE IN 2003:
SIR RANDOLPH SINCLAIR-STRATHERS VIRTUAL POT HOLING: Join Sir Randolph as he explores tiny caves and crevasses in a game likened to “Tomb Raider”.
Explore Britain’s best-loved cracks from the comfort of your living room; just make sure you don’t sit on a virtual stalagmite!
THOSE MAGNIFICENT MEN IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES: Choose from a selection of bounders and rogues and their eccentric flying machines in this high adventure racing game. Tally ho!
THE ETON MYSTERIES: Explore your favourite school in this gripping point & click adventure game filled with mystery and subterfuge.
LAURENCE LLEWELYN-BOWEN’S STATELY MANOR TYCOON: Have you ever dreamt of being in the social elite? Well now you can by owning your very own stately manor in this jolly good simulator. Hire gardeners, servants etc and design & furnish your ideal manor. A virtual Mr. Llewelyn-Bowen also gives advice and tips on how to make the house of your dreams into a right dog’s breakfast; he also has amazingly modelled long & lustrous hair and large frilly sleeves (and they actually flap in the wind!)
All titles will have a mere RRP of £69.99. (Small change you think).
Plus, pre-order any title and get a fabulous free stuffed pheasant or real leather driving gloves.
Thank you old chap.
******************************
The rich upper classes have a games company now, and they are “Aristocrat Interactive”.
What follows is a press release from this big new company:
******************************
Aristocrat Interactive: “A better breed of game for a better class of gamer.”
PRESS RELEASE FROM ARISTOCRAT INTERACTIVE:
For far too long now video games have been seen as a leisure activity enjoyed exclusively by the lower classes. All this is to change now, as “Aristocrat Interactive” is here to give you toffee-nosed snobs a jolly super time. Here is our exclusive line up for 2002:
VIRTUAL FOX HUNTING:
Recently, controversy has sold many a video game. We’ve seen “GTA3” and “State of Emergency”, and then there was “Dale Winton’s Virtual C0ck Fighting” the game that caused a national outrage. Now, Aristocrat Interactive is pleased to announce the video game based on the most controversial of all “sports”, Virtual Fox Hunting.
Enjoy the splendid sight of dogs cruelly ripping a fox to pieces from the comfort of your stately manor.
Accurate renditions of all your favourite hunt locations and well-modelled horses and dogs plus crowds of vile anti-hunt protestors/ peasants, make this is the most accurate rendition of our sport yet.
Celebrity riders include the Marquis of Castlehaire, Viscount Eckersly and the 7th Earl of Sawbridgeworth.
Part of the Aristocrat Interactive sports label.
“Virtual Fox Hunting, it’s not a privilege, it’s a right.”
ROGER MOORE’S VIRTUAL CROQUET:
Join Roger Moore in his luxury virtual mansion, complete with immaculate croquet lawns.
Gameplay is similar to that of a snooker game. Aim your cursor, select the power, and then hit the ball hoping to get it through the small metal gates, all enhanced with accurate ball physics.
Modes of play include “Championship”, “Arcade”, “Speed Croquet” and a Roger Moore led tutorial mode.
Your virtual character even has selectable clothes: from smoking jackets & tuxedoes, to stripy blazers, neckerchiefs and many more dapper garments.
Part of the Aristocrat Interactive sports label.
Other Aristocrat Interactive sports label games include:
POLO 2002: Long awaited video game of the posh sport. Featuring commentary and half time analysis from “that little posh boy with the curly blond afro who used to be on Antiques Roadshow and who is now a woman”. Secret bonus characters include Royal Princes Charles, William and Harry.
FENCING 2002: Enter the dynamic world of international fencing; just watch where you stick your sabre.
J.R HARTLEY’S VIRTUAL FLY FISHING: The real life actor is sadly now longer with us, but now you can enjoy the game based on his great book. With dynamic water and weather effects.
BUTLER CHARIOT RACING: A cartoony racer with a difference. Select your chariot and celebrity rider (including the 7th Duke of Wendleshire, Viscount of Chesterfield and David Gower), and then choose what slave/butler you wish to pull it.
Courses include glamorous locales such as Monaco, French Riviera and Italian Alps.
You will feel like a posh “Ben-Hur” with this fantastic title.
SIM COMMONER:
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a ghastly lower class smelly peasant?
Now you can live those ideas in “Sim Commoner”.
Based on the successful “Sims” engine, we are giving you the chance to control the destiny of either middle class suburban family or common as muck lower class scum.
You choose their housing, horrid taste in tacky furniture and control their inevitable struggle with debt problems. Your virtual family can enjoy lower class pursuits such as greyhound racing and pub-crawls.
PARTY ORGANISER 2002 EDITION:
Are you a socialite/ bachelor/ playboy/ it-girl, whose career is to attend flashy showbiz parties?
We know how tough it can be, so let Aristocrat Interactive help you sort out your hectic jet-set schedule with our “Party Organiser 2002 Edition”.
All the important social occasions are included on the CD-ROM, like hob-nobbing at the Monaco F1 GP, Cannes Film Festival, all the film premieres and the birthdays of known socialites.
Information can be transferred onto the spiffing little GameBoy Advance system, so you can have all that vital information on the move.
A must for all you E-List celebrities!
TITLES DUE IN 2003:
SIR RANDOLPH SINCLAIR-STRATHERS VIRTUAL POT HOLING: Join Sir Randolph as he explores tiny caves and crevasses in a game likened to “Tomb Raider”.
Explore Britain’s best-loved cracks from the comfort of your living room; just make sure you don’t sit on a virtual stalagmite!
THOSE MAGNIFICENT MEN IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES: Choose from a selection of bounders and rogues and their eccentric flying machines in this high adventure racing game. Tally ho!
THE ETON MYSTERIES: Explore your favourite school in this gripping point & click adventure game filled with mystery and subterfuge.
LAURENCE LLEWELYN-BOWEN’S STATELY MANOR TYCOON: Have you ever dreamt of being in the social elite? Well now you can by owning your very own stately manor in this jolly good simulator. Hire gardeners, servants etc and design & furnish your ideal manor. A virtual Mr. Llewelyn-Bowen also gives advice and tips on how to make the house of your dreams into a right dog’s breakfast; he also has amazingly modelled long & lustrous hair and large frilly sleeves (and they actually flap in the wind!)
All titles will have a mere RRP of £69.99. (Small change you think).
Plus, pre-order any title and get a fabulous free stuffed pheasant or real leather driving gloves.
Thank you old chap.
******************************
That orange man from Bargain Hunt should be in one.
V.V.V.V.V. wrote:
> The guy/woman from the Antiques Roadshow is/was called James Harries.
I still remember seeing him/her on tv about six months ago. When i saw that he had changed to "her" i almost died with laughter!
> The guy/woman from the Antiques Roadshow is/was called James Harries.
I still remember seeing him/her on tv about six months ago. When i saw that he had changed to "her" i almost died with laughter!
LOL!
Brillaint stuff!
Brillaint stuff!
The guy/woman from the Antiques Roadshow is/was called James Harries. If I had to pick just one game, I think I'd go for Sim Commoner, with Virtual Fox Hunting to follow. Classic stuff, and funny.
lol excellent :-)
We’ve had “OAP Interactive”, catering for the elderly and mature breed of gamer, and then gaming for geezers from “Mockney Interactive”, now the moment you’ve all been waiting for:
The rich upper classes have a games company now, and they are “Aristocrat Interactive”.
What follows is a press release from this big new company:
******************************
Aristocrat Interactive: “A better breed of game for a better class of gamer.”
PRESS RELEASE FROM ARISTOCRAT INTERACTIVE:
For far too long now video games have been seen as a leisure activity enjoyed exclusively by the lower classes. All this is to change now, as “Aristocrat Interactive” is here to give you toffee-nosed snobs a jolly super time. Here is our exclusive line up for 2002:
VIRTUAL FOX HUNTING:
Recently, controversy has sold many a video game. We’ve seen “GTA3” and “State of Emergency”, and then there was “Dale Winton’s Virtual C0ck Fighting” the game that caused a national outrage. Now, Aristocrat Interactive is pleased to announce the video game based on the most controversial of all “sports”, Virtual Fox Hunting.
Enjoy the splendid sight of dogs cruelly ripping a fox to pieces from the comfort of your stately manor.
Accurate renditions of all your favourite hunt locations and well-modelled horses and dogs plus crowds of vile anti-hunt protestors/ peasants, make this is the most accurate rendition of our sport yet.
Celebrity riders include the Marquis of Castlehaire, Viscount Eckersly and the 7th Earl of Sawbridgeworth.
Part of the Aristocrat Interactive sports label.
“Virtual Fox Hunting, it’s not a privilege, it’s a right.”
ROGER MOORE’S VIRTUAL CROQUET:
Join Roger Moore in his luxury virtual mansion, complete with immaculate croquet lawns.
Gameplay is similar to that of a snooker game. Aim your cursor, select the power, and then hit the ball hoping to get it through the small metal gates, all enhanced with accurate ball physics.
Modes of play include “Championship”, “Arcade”, “Speed Croquet” and a Roger Moore led tutorial mode.
Your virtual character even has selectable clothes: from smoking jackets & tuxedoes, to stripy blazers, neckerchiefs and many more dapper garments.
Part of the Aristocrat Interactive sports label.
Other Aristocrat Interactive sports label games include:
POLO 2002: Long awaited video game of the posh sport. Featuring commentary and half time analysis from “that little posh boy with the curly blond afro who used to be on Antiques Roadshow and who is now a woman”. Secret bonus characters include Royal Princes Charles, William and Harry.
FENCING 2002: Enter the dynamic world of international fencing; just watch where you stick your sabre.
J.R HARTLEY’S VIRTUAL FLY FISHING: The real life actor is sadly now longer with us, but now you can enjoy the game based on his great book. With dynamic water and weather effects.
BUTLER CHARIOT RACING: A cartoony racer with a difference. Select your chariot and celebrity rider (including the 7th Duke of Wendleshire, Viscount of Chesterfield and David Gower), and then choose what slave/butler you wish to pull it.
Courses include glamorous locales such as Monaco, French Riviera and Italian Alps.
You will feel like a posh “Ben-Hur” with this fantastic title.
SIM COMMONER:
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a ghastly lower class smelly peasant?
Now you can live those ideas in “Sim Commoner”.
Based on the successful “Sims” engine, we are giving you the chance to control the destiny of either middle class suburban family or common as muck lower class scum.
You choose their housing, horrid taste in tacky furniture and control their inevitable struggle with debt problems. Your virtual family can enjoy lower class pursuits such as greyhound racing and pub-crawls.
PARTY ORGANISER 2002 EDITION:
Are you a socialite/ bachelor/ playboy/ it-girl, whose career is to attend flashy showbiz parties?
We know how tough it can be, so let Aristocrat Interactive help you sort out your hectic jet-set schedule with our “Party Organiser 2002 Edition”.
All the important social occasions are included on the CD-ROM, like hob-nobbing at the Monaco F1 GP, Cannes Film Festival, all the film premieres and the birthdays of known socialites.
Information can be transferred onto the spiffing little GameBoy Advance system, so you can have all that vital information on the move.
A must for all you E-List celebrities!
TITLES DUE IN 2003:
SIR RANDOLPH SINCLAIR-STRATHERS VIRTUAL POT HOLING: Join Sir Randolph as he explores tiny caves and crevasses in a game likened to “Tomb Raider”.
Explore Britain’s best-loved cracks from the comfort of your living room; just make sure you don’t sit on a virtual stalagmite!
THOSE MAGNIFICENT MEN IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES: Choose from a selection of bounders and rogues and their eccentric flying machines in this high adventure racing game. Tally ho!
THE ETON MYSTERIES: Explore your favourite school in this gripping point & click adventure game filled with mystery and subterfuge.
LAURENCE LLEWELYN-BOWEN’S STATELY MANOR TYCOON: Have you ever dreamt of being in the social elite? Well now you can by owning your very own stately manor in this jolly good simulator. Hire gardeners, servants etc and design & furnish your ideal manor. A virtual Mr. Llewelyn-Bowen also gives advice and tips on how to make the house of your dreams into a right dog’s breakfast; he also has amazingly modelled long & lustrous hair and large frilly sleeves (and they actually flap in the wind!)
All titles will have a mere RRP of £69.99. (Small change you think).
Plus, pre-order any title and get a fabulous free stuffed pheasant or real leather driving gloves.
Thank you old chap.
******************************
The rich upper classes have a games company now, and they are “Aristocrat Interactive”.
What follows is a press release from this big new company:
******************************
Aristocrat Interactive: “A better breed of game for a better class of gamer.”
PRESS RELEASE FROM ARISTOCRAT INTERACTIVE:
For far too long now video games have been seen as a leisure activity enjoyed exclusively by the lower classes. All this is to change now, as “Aristocrat Interactive” is here to give you toffee-nosed snobs a jolly super time. Here is our exclusive line up for 2002:
VIRTUAL FOX HUNTING:
Recently, controversy has sold many a video game. We’ve seen “GTA3” and “State of Emergency”, and then there was “Dale Winton’s Virtual C0ck Fighting” the game that caused a national outrage. Now, Aristocrat Interactive is pleased to announce the video game based on the most controversial of all “sports”, Virtual Fox Hunting.
Enjoy the splendid sight of dogs cruelly ripping a fox to pieces from the comfort of your stately manor.
Accurate renditions of all your favourite hunt locations and well-modelled horses and dogs plus crowds of vile anti-hunt protestors/ peasants, make this is the most accurate rendition of our sport yet.
Celebrity riders include the Marquis of Castlehaire, Viscount Eckersly and the 7th Earl of Sawbridgeworth.
Part of the Aristocrat Interactive sports label.
“Virtual Fox Hunting, it’s not a privilege, it’s a right.”
ROGER MOORE’S VIRTUAL CROQUET:
Join Roger Moore in his luxury virtual mansion, complete with immaculate croquet lawns.
Gameplay is similar to that of a snooker game. Aim your cursor, select the power, and then hit the ball hoping to get it through the small metal gates, all enhanced with accurate ball physics.
Modes of play include “Championship”, “Arcade”, “Speed Croquet” and a Roger Moore led tutorial mode.
Your virtual character even has selectable clothes: from smoking jackets & tuxedoes, to stripy blazers, neckerchiefs and many more dapper garments.
Part of the Aristocrat Interactive sports label.
Other Aristocrat Interactive sports label games include:
POLO 2002: Long awaited video game of the posh sport. Featuring commentary and half time analysis from “that little posh boy with the curly blond afro who used to be on Antiques Roadshow and who is now a woman”. Secret bonus characters include Royal Princes Charles, William and Harry.
FENCING 2002: Enter the dynamic world of international fencing; just watch where you stick your sabre.
J.R HARTLEY’S VIRTUAL FLY FISHING: The real life actor is sadly now longer with us, but now you can enjoy the game based on his great book. With dynamic water and weather effects.
BUTLER CHARIOT RACING: A cartoony racer with a difference. Select your chariot and celebrity rider (including the 7th Duke of Wendleshire, Viscount of Chesterfield and David Gower), and then choose what slave/butler you wish to pull it.
Courses include glamorous locales such as Monaco, French Riviera and Italian Alps.
You will feel like a posh “Ben-Hur” with this fantastic title.
SIM COMMONER:
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a ghastly lower class smelly peasant?
Now you can live those ideas in “Sim Commoner”.
Based on the successful “Sims” engine, we are giving you the chance to control the destiny of either middle class suburban family or common as muck lower class scum.
You choose their housing, horrid taste in tacky furniture and control their inevitable struggle with debt problems. Your virtual family can enjoy lower class pursuits such as greyhound racing and pub-crawls.
PARTY ORGANISER 2002 EDITION:
Are you a socialite/ bachelor/ playboy/ it-girl, whose career is to attend flashy showbiz parties?
We know how tough it can be, so let Aristocrat Interactive help you sort out your hectic jet-set schedule with our “Party Organiser 2002 Edition”.
All the important social occasions are included on the CD-ROM, like hob-nobbing at the Monaco F1 GP, Cannes Film Festival, all the film premieres and the birthdays of known socialites.
Information can be transferred onto the spiffing little GameBoy Advance system, so you can have all that vital information on the move.
A must for all you E-List celebrities!
TITLES DUE IN 2003:
SIR RANDOLPH SINCLAIR-STRATHERS VIRTUAL POT HOLING: Join Sir Randolph as he explores tiny caves and crevasses in a game likened to “Tomb Raider”.
Explore Britain’s best-loved cracks from the comfort of your living room; just make sure you don’t sit on a virtual stalagmite!
THOSE MAGNIFICENT MEN IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES: Choose from a selection of bounders and rogues and their eccentric flying machines in this high adventure racing game. Tally ho!
THE ETON MYSTERIES: Explore your favourite school in this gripping point & click adventure game filled with mystery and subterfuge.
LAURENCE LLEWELYN-BOWEN’S STATELY MANOR TYCOON: Have you ever dreamt of being in the social elite? Well now you can by owning your very own stately manor in this jolly good simulator. Hire gardeners, servants etc and design & furnish your ideal manor. A virtual Mr. Llewelyn-Bowen also gives advice and tips on how to make the house of your dreams into a right dog’s breakfast; he also has amazingly modelled long & lustrous hair and large frilly sleeves (and they actually flap in the wind!)
All titles will have a mere RRP of £69.99. (Small change you think).
Plus, pre-order any title and get a fabulous free stuffed pheasant or real leather driving gloves.
Thank you old chap.
******************************