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After an unprecedented outbreak of utter, utter banality in forums worldwide with the launch of the Xbox in Europe, video games companies have taken the shock move of removing all games consoles from the markets.
Long the mainstay of popular time wastage by people all over the world, from the humble beginnings of the Atari to the mind-bending consoles of today, consoles are now to be relegated to history alongside the C5, ZX81 and the dodo.
Confusion and panicked reigned throughout the planet as millions of gamers logged onto forums and made hundreds, if not thousands of badly written statements of disbelief.
The only person willing to speak about this choice is a shadowy figure known only as Brian.
"We've had it. These things are supposed to be an amusing way to pass the time, instead they have become multi-million dollar industries and the subject of various boring topics about which one is best. Well quite frankly, we've had enough. It's like watching over-sized infants fighting over who gets the biggest rattle. This was never the point.
It was fun, nothing more. Now we have games costing millions of dollars to produce whilst people starve in Afghanistan. I feel dirty and nothing can salve my soul from the disgust I feel at being an integral part of this."
So what will follow, now that video consoles are dead?
A statement leaked from Sony HQ, endorsed by Nintendo and Microsoft gives a clue:
"Gentlemen, we are agreed that we have wasted our time here. We have become all too aware that what should be an amusing way to kill a few minutes has turned into the monster we cannot kill. So we have been researching into other forms of relaxation and time passing and have hit upon an ancient, almost forgotten practice know as reading"
Intensive probing has uncovered that they are referring to something called a "book".
Similar in appearance to an instruction manual, "books" are to replace video games as the primary means of entertainment for young people from 2003.
Once thought to be a tool for education, it was rumoured that "reading" a "book" increased literacy, wordpower and promoted a more intelligent and reasoned outlook on life.
Studies also showed that 98% of gamers never bothered to read the instruction manual that came with games, indicating that "reading" would never catch on.
So, as from April 2003, instead of playing a video game and slumping into a vegetative state of non-communication, people will be forced to "read".
Long the mainstay of popular time wastage by people all over the world, from the humble beginnings of the Atari to the mind-bending consoles of today, consoles are now to be relegated to history alongside the C5, ZX81 and the dodo.
Confusion and panicked reigned throughout the planet as millions of gamers logged onto forums and made hundreds, if not thousands of badly written statements of disbelief.
The only person willing to speak about this choice is a shadowy figure known only as Brian.
"We've had it. These things are supposed to be an amusing way to pass the time, instead they have become multi-million dollar industries and the subject of various boring topics about which one is best. Well quite frankly, we've had enough. It's like watching over-sized infants fighting over who gets the biggest rattle. This was never the point.
It was fun, nothing more. Now we have games costing millions of dollars to produce whilst people starve in Afghanistan. I feel dirty and nothing can salve my soul from the disgust I feel at being an integral part of this."
So what will follow, now that video consoles are dead?
A statement leaked from Sony HQ, endorsed by Nintendo and Microsoft gives a clue:
"Gentlemen, we are agreed that we have wasted our time here. We have become all too aware that what should be an amusing way to kill a few minutes has turned into the monster we cannot kill. So we have been researching into other forms of relaxation and time passing and have hit upon an ancient, almost forgotten practice know as reading"
Intensive probing has uncovered that they are referring to something called a "book".
Similar in appearance to an instruction manual, "books" are to replace video games as the primary means of entertainment for young people from 2003.
Once thought to be a tool for education, it was rumoured that "reading" a "book" increased literacy, wordpower and promoted a more intelligent and reasoned outlook on life.
Studies also showed that 98% of gamers never bothered to read the instruction manual that came with games, indicating that "reading" would never catch on.
So, as from April 2003, instead of playing a video game and slumping into a vegetative state of non-communication, people will be forced to "read".
Craw wrote:
> Umm, ok.
Take what you want but leave me my pants
They'll take them too.
> Umm, ok.
Take what you want but leave me my pants
They'll take them too.
Umm, ok.
Take what you want but leave me my pants
Take what you want but leave me my pants
Craw wrote:
> God no!
They'll never take mine alive!
They'll kill you then.
> God no!
They'll never take mine alive!
They'll kill you then.
God no!
They'll never take mine alive!
They'll never take mine alive!
Me read? That's unpossible.
Meka is correct, the world can always use more dumbasses
So Metal Gear Solid 2
> rules, but it's not as good as Halo, but Nintendo own the Xbox.
What are you on aboout??!?!?!?!?!
> rules, but it's not as good as Halo, but Nintendo own the Xbox.
What are you on aboout??!?!?!?!?!
It'll never catch on.
They're right, I only refer to the instructions as a last resort - possibly because they're targetted towards the lowest ebb - those that need to read that they have to point the stick to move.
Anyway, if reading became more popular statements like
"What you readin' for?"
and
"Books? I ain't a boff!"
wouldn't be so common, and there would be nobody left to serve food.
So Metal Gear Solid 2 rules, but it's not as good as Halo, but Nintendo own the Xbox.
They're right, I only refer to the instructions as a last resort - possibly because they're targetted towards the lowest ebb - those that need to read that they have to point the stick to move.
Anyway, if reading became more popular statements like
"What you readin' for?"
and
"Books? I ain't a boff!"
wouldn't be so common, and there would be nobody left to serve food.
So Metal Gear Solid 2 rules, but it's not as good as Halo, but Nintendo own the Xbox.
Goatboy wrote:
So, as from April 2003, instead of playing a video game
> and slumping into a vegetative state of non-communication, people will be forced
> to "read".
NOT READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, as from April 2003, instead of playing a video game
> and slumping into a vegetative state of non-communication, people will be forced
> to "read".
NOT READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After an unprecedented outbreak of utter, utter banality in forums worldwide with the launch of the Xbox in Europe, video games companies have taken the shock move of removing all games consoles from the markets.
Long the mainstay of popular time wastage by people all over the world, from the humble beginnings of the Atari to the mind-bending consoles of today, consoles are now to be relegated to history alongside the C5, ZX81 and the dodo.
Confusion and panicked reigned throughout the planet as millions of gamers logged onto forums and made hundreds, if not thousands of badly written statements of disbelief.
The only person willing to speak about this choice is a shadowy figure known only as Brian.
"We've had it. These things are supposed to be an amusing way to pass the time, instead they have become multi-million dollar industries and the subject of various boring topics about which one is best. Well quite frankly, we've had enough. It's like watching over-sized infants fighting over who gets the biggest rattle. This was never the point.
It was fun, nothing more. Now we have games costing millions of dollars to produce whilst people starve in Afghanistan. I feel dirty and nothing can salve my soul from the disgust I feel at being an integral part of this."
So what will follow, now that video consoles are dead?
A statement leaked from Sony HQ, endorsed by Nintendo and Microsoft gives a clue:
"Gentlemen, we are agreed that we have wasted our time here. We have become all too aware that what should be an amusing way to kill a few minutes has turned into the monster we cannot kill. So we have been researching into other forms of relaxation and time passing and have hit upon an ancient, almost forgotten practice know as reading"
Intensive probing has uncovered that they are referring to something called a "book".
Similar in appearance to an instruction manual, "books" are to replace video games as the primary means of entertainment for young people from 2003.
Once thought to be a tool for education, it was rumoured that "reading" a "book" increased literacy, wordpower and promoted a more intelligent and reasoned outlook on life.
Studies also showed that 98% of gamers never bothered to read the instruction manual that came with games, indicating that "reading" would never catch on.
So, as from April 2003, instead of playing a video game and slumping into a vegetative state of non-communication, people will be forced to "read".
Long the mainstay of popular time wastage by people all over the world, from the humble beginnings of the Atari to the mind-bending consoles of today, consoles are now to be relegated to history alongside the C5, ZX81 and the dodo.
Confusion and panicked reigned throughout the planet as millions of gamers logged onto forums and made hundreds, if not thousands of badly written statements of disbelief.
The only person willing to speak about this choice is a shadowy figure known only as Brian.
"We've had it. These things are supposed to be an amusing way to pass the time, instead they have become multi-million dollar industries and the subject of various boring topics about which one is best. Well quite frankly, we've had enough. It's like watching over-sized infants fighting over who gets the biggest rattle. This was never the point.
It was fun, nothing more. Now we have games costing millions of dollars to produce whilst people starve in Afghanistan. I feel dirty and nothing can salve my soul from the disgust I feel at being an integral part of this."
So what will follow, now that video consoles are dead?
A statement leaked from Sony HQ, endorsed by Nintendo and Microsoft gives a clue:
"Gentlemen, we are agreed that we have wasted our time here. We have become all too aware that what should be an amusing way to kill a few minutes has turned into the monster we cannot kill. So we have been researching into other forms of relaxation and time passing and have hit upon an ancient, almost forgotten practice know as reading"
Intensive probing has uncovered that they are referring to something called a "book".
Similar in appearance to an instruction manual, "books" are to replace video games as the primary means of entertainment for young people from 2003.
Once thought to be a tool for education, it was rumoured that "reading" a "book" increased literacy, wordpower and promoted a more intelligent and reasoned outlook on life.
Studies also showed that 98% of gamers never bothered to read the instruction manual that came with games, indicating that "reading" would never catch on.
So, as from April 2003, instead of playing a video game and slumping into a vegetative state of non-communication, people will be forced to "read".