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Get yourself a comfy chair, something to eat and something to drink. Take the phone off the hook and disconnect the door bell. Arre you sitting comfortably? Good, cos this is a monster…
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Footage is shown from Porte Malebó airport earlier in the day as Brian Adams (Scott Giles) and Brian Clarke (Scott Giles) are turned away from entering the country due to passport irregularities.
Backstage Mr. Perfect (Shaneo) and Stevie Richards (Shaneo) are having coffee and a chat when the are approached by a breathless Cong Man.
CM: “Listen guys, get suited up, because you’re in the rumble, OK?”
SR: “Cool”
MP: “Nah, that’s not cool, Stevie...that’s just Perfect!”
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Much cheering from around the arena, as the fans show their appreciation for what has already proven to be an absolutely phenomenal event! Howard Finkel takes to the microphone “ Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for The Rumble in The Jungle over-the top-rope battle royale match!” Absolutely frantic cheering. “The forty competitors into this match have each drawn a number from one to forty, shortly the competitors who drew numbers one and two will enter the ring. They will be joined in a further two minutes by the competitor who drew number three and so on until all combatants have entered the ring. Elimination is achieved by throwing a competitor over the top rope to the floor. Both of the competitors feet must touch the floor in order for them to be eliminated. The winner is the last man left in the ring!” Howard Finkel exits the ring as we await our first competitor.
A low beat fills the arena, thud, thud thud thud,,, but this soon makes way to a faster Drum beat as Steve Blackman(Ant) makes his way to the ring, tough break drawing number one! Looks like the lethal weapon has come prepared though as he has a bag with him! Blackman slides into the ring under the ropes and opens up the bag revealing a kendo stick! Blackman stands facing the ramp and motions toward the back, daring his opponent to come to the ring!
Suddenly the arena is filled with coloured lights and a slightly strange sounding music as the sneering Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow) emerges from beneath the titan-tron and runs down to the ring. He slides in under the ropes ‘THWACK!’ and is met by a stinging shot from Blackman with that kendo stick! ‘THWACK!’ and another one for good measure! Remember, this is all legal as there are no DQs in this match! Blackman drags The Laughing Man back to his feet and positions his Kendo stick between Morrus’ legs before hoisting him up and slamming him back to the canvas, driving that Kendo stick where the sun don’t even think about shining in the process! Blackman follows up with a scything leg drop! As Hugh Morrus lies motionless on the canvas Steve Blackman goes back to his bag and retrieves a smaller pair of sticks, which he proceeds to impressively fling around his body for a couple of seconds before declaring “IT’S PARTY TIME!” By now The Laughing Man has had time to get to his feet, but he is met by a series of lightning quick blows from the lethal weapon and his sticks!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! There goes the buzzer, as our two minutes is up! A loud screeching piece of guitar music makes all our ears hurt as New York’s least favouroite son, Justin Credible (Rickoss) makes his way down to the ring, with Singapore Cane in hand!!! He stole that modified Kendo stick from the Sandman in his ECW days , I guess he figures he needs it against Blackman! Credible quickly enters the ring and waves the stick in Blackman’s direction. Blackman drops his smaller sticks and retrieves his Kendo stick! ‘THWACK!’ Credible to Blackman, the lethal weapon barely flinched! ‘THWACK!’ Credible staggers backwards as Blackman takes his turn! ‘THWACK’ Credible turns and gives Blackman some of his own medicine! ‘THWACk, THWACK THWACK!’ A trio of lighning fast Kendo stick shots from Blackman! ‘THWACK!’ LOW BLOW!!! Credible realised he wasn’t going to win a duel of canes with Blackman and hit him in the crotch with his cane instead!
BZZZTTTT!!! Ooh that’s the buzzer again as two minutes pass in the blink of an eye! ‘Ding! Ding! Dong!’ it’s Ken Shamrock (The Cong Man)! We haven’t seen him for a while now, but he’s going straight after his old adversary Steve Blackman! Justin Credible and Ken Shamrock are double teaming Steve Blackman (Ant)! Ankle Lock!!! ANKLE LOCK!!! Ken Shamrock has Steve Blackman locked in the ankle lock and the lethal weapon is screaming so loudly, you can hear him two block away! THWACK!!! And just to make matters worse, Justin Credible is hitting him across the back with his Singapore Cane as well! But Hugh Morrus is up! Back drop suplex on Justin Credible!!! Morrus gets back to his feet just in time to see a vicious clothesline from Ken Shamrock hit him square on the chin and send him tumbling backwards over the ropes to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Hugh Morrus (Big Slow)
Ken Shamrock (Cong) and Justin Credible (Rickoss) immediately back Steve Blackman (Ant) into the corner and attempt to force him over the ropes! But Blackman has a firm hold on the ropes and isn’t going to let go that easily! BZZZZTTTT!!! Oh My God!!! What is that awful music?!? Anyway, here’s Chuck Palumbo(Crash)! Which means no respite for Blackman as the former RAF pilot joins in the struggle to attempt to force Blackman over the ropes! Blackman swings a few chops and manages to extricate himself from that corner! Blackman looks down and finds that his Kendo stick is right next to him, THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! Blackman’s Kendo stick is broken as it crashes on to the heads of Credible, Palumbo and Shamrock who all tumble to the mat! Chuck Palumbo is first to his feet but gets met by a martial arts kick from Blackman! The Lethal Weapon is cleaning house! Justin Credible gets back to his feet only to get knocked down by another shot with the Kendo stick, Justin is busted wide open! But wait! Ken Shamrock grabs Blackman’s leg and pulls him down into a modified cross-leg breaker! Again you can hear Blackman scream in pain, as Shamrock is really doing a number on the leg of Blackman!
BZZZTTTT!!! “Caw, caw caaaaw” It’s Raven (Starlight)!!! Raven is our next competitor and he’s coming to the ring with a shopping cart loaded with plunder! Raven pulls a trash-can out of the trolley which has amongst other things in it, what looks like the remnants of a houseplant, a broom, a computer keyboard and some road signs! The bin is thrown into the ring and here comes Raven! Justin Credible is met by a trash-can lid to the head! Chuck Palumbo is next as Raven grabs another trash-can lid and gives Chucky a Trash-Can-chaito around the head! Palumbo collapses forward. Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackman fall victim to shots with a stop-sign as Raven is indiscriminate about who he is taking down! Raven turns and is digging deep into that trash-can and he’s pulled out a fire extinguisher! He points it at Justin Credible who is down on his knees! Justin Credible pleads with Raven not to set the fire extinguisher off in his face! WHACK!!! Steve Blackman was up and just kicked that fire extinguisher right back into Raven’s face!!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! The sound of a car crashing is followed by a huge pop from the capacity crowd jammed into the municipál arena as Mankind (Ice Blaster) comes out to the ring! Foley is in no rush to get to the ring as he pauses to slap hands and sign autographs for these fanatic fans! Meanwhile, back in the ring all the keys come flying off the computer keyboard as Raven clocks Justin Credible full on in the face with it and Ken Shamrock has Chuck Palumbo in a headlock and is trying to force the remains of that houseplant into his mouth!?! “In all my years in wrestling I’ve never seen anything like that!” screams Jim Ross as Mankind finally makes his way into the ring where he is greeted by a crescent kick for Steve Blackman! Chuck Palumbo shoves Ken Shamrock forwards, breaking the headlock and sending the world most dangerous man off the ropes. As he comes back Chuck goes for a clothesline, but Shamrock stops dead and in one swift motion garbs Chucks arm and swings him hard into the ropes! Low bridge!!! Justin Credible dipped the ropes and Chucky goes tumbling to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
BZZZTTT!! Chuck Palumbo points angrily towards Justin Credible as Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese) emerges from the back, ready to take his place in this contest. Justin Credible stands on the bottom rope talking trash with Chucky who is on the outside, which proves to be a huge mistake as Mankind grabs the bottom of his leg and dumps him over the top!
ELIMINATED: Justin Credible (Rickoss)
Lance Storm jumps up on to the aprons and pulls back on the top rope before catapulting himself into the ring with a double clothesline that takes out Raven and Steve Blackman! Storm gets back to his feet but gets hit from behind by a stop sign wielded by Mankind! A slightly badly pronounced Foley chant goes around the arena! BZZZZTTTTT!!! Woah! Check out that beat, here comes the big, bad and downright ugly Viscera (AfroJoe)! Viscera waddles his way down the ramp and into the ring, where Raven meets him with a clothesline that didn’t even phase him! Viscera with a big slam on Raven! WHAM!!! Double super-kick!!! Steve Blackman and Lance Storm put their efforts together and reap the rewards as Viscera tumbles backwards over the top rope, almost leaving a crater in the arena floor on the outside!
ELIMINATED: Viscera (AfroJoe)
Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese) whips Steve Blackman (Ant) off the ropes, Storm drops down grabbing The Lethal Weapon’s leg and rolls forward coming up into a half-crab position!!! Blackman screams in pain as his already hurt leg gets stretched a bit more! CLANG!!! Trashcan lid to the head of Raven, courtesy of Mankind (Ice Blaster), no respite for Blackman though as Ken Shamrock (Cong) is quickly over and locks him in a spinning toe-hold! Raven with a stomp to Shamrock that breaks the hold though! BZZZTTTT! And here comes Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)! Another face that we haven’t seen around in a while, the7-footer will want to make the most of this opportunity to get noticed! Bull sprints down to the ring, step over the top rope and hits a scissors kick right into the face of Raven! But Bull leaves himself wide open to a huge over-head release German suplex from Ken Shamrock! He landed right on his head!
Steve Blackman is back to his feet but is struggling to walk, looks like some real damage has been done to that leg! This is getting really hard to call, so much action going on! Mankind has Raven backed into a corner and has unleashed a flurry of punches at him, carrying on until he has slumped all the way to the bottom rope! Lance Storm hits a spinning heel kick right into Ken Shamrock’s face! BZZZTTTT! “What does everybody want?” Here comes Al Snow(Rickoss)! Al Snow sprints to the ring and he has got head with him! Al is quickly into the ring and he swings head at Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe) it hits him full on and sends him flying over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
And look! Mankind and Steve Blackman have Ken Shamrock cornered and are trying to force him over the top! Shamrock clings on for dear life, but he too gets cracked over the head with a head shot from Al Snow! Shamrock loses his grip!
ELIMINATED: Ken Shamrock (The Cong Man)
Raven throws Lance Storm runs at Raven, Raven side-steps and launches him over the top rope! But Lance Storm held on! He grabbed the top rope as he went and lands on the canvas, he pulls on the rope and catapults himself back in, hitting Raven with a spinning wheel kick! BZZZZTTTTT!!! “Yo it’s me, it’s me, it’s D-D-P!!! Here comes the former WCW Champion Diamond Dallas Page (Mouldy Cheese)! Steve Blackman continues doing his best to hobble around the ring, he’s been in there a long time now! Raven has Lance Storm locked up again, suplex attempt, blocked, snap suplex! Lance Storm with a great counter!
Al Snow (Rickoss) and Mankind (Ice Blaster) are in a collar and elbow tie up! Al with the go-behind, but a big elbow from Mankind breaks it up. Mankind quickly turns around and buries a boot into Al Snow’s stomach, he pulls Al’s arms up and hits a double underhook DDT! Mankind is now going into his pants for something!!! He’s GOT SOCKO!!! Al staggers back up and gets that sweaty gym sock rammed right down his throat!! UGH!!! BZZZZZTTTTT!!!
“IF YOU SMELL-EL-EL-ELLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING” The crowd shoot to their feet as they get a glimpse of the man they have all been waiting to see! Here comes THE ROCK (Starlight)!!! Lance Storm attempts to meet the Rock as soon as he gets into the ring with a big right hand, but the Rock blocks it and fires in a couple of his own, backing Storm into the ropes. The Rock pulls his hand back, spits on it and delivers a huge smack to Storm which send him all the way over the ropes and to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
Raven tries to hit the Rock from Behind but, in one swift motion, the Rock turns, ducks and hits Raven with a Rock Bottom!!! WHACK!!! The Rocks hot streak is ended by Al Snow hitting him over the back of his head with head! Al Snow raises Head to the crowd but gets only boos in return! KIP-UP!!! The Rock shot straight back up! Al with a kick, blocked DDT!!! Kick comes in from Blackman! But The Rock caught his foot! Leg-lace takedown into a sharp-shooter! The Rock has the already injured Steve Blackman (Ant) locked in the sharp-shooter! Al Snow screams in pain!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Heeeeelloooooo Ladies”, it’s Val Venis (The Cong Man)!!! Val makes his way halfway down the ramp, before removing his towel and sprinting to the ring! Val with an elbow to the back of the Rocks head, breaking up that sharp-shooter! Raven with a huge DDT to Al Snow!!! Head goes flying out of the ring! Mankind hits a three quarter turning neck-breaker on DDP!!! Val Venis has the Rock up and sends him off the ropes, clothesline attempt, The Rock blocks, grabs Val’s arm and spins around into a DDT!!! There’s a lot of heads hitting the mat right now!!! Raven grabs Mankind and whips him into the corner, following straight in with a clothes-line, the force of which makes Mankind stagger out of the corner, Raven quickly follows up with a bulldog too!
The Rock has Steve Blackman now and whips him off the ropes, Blackman can barely run and half-runs, half-hobble back toward the Rock, as The Rock takes three steps backwards, getting himself nearer the ropes, BELLY-TO-BELLY OVERHEAD RELEASE SUPLEX!!!! And the Rock was so near the ropes Blackman cleared them and lands in a crumpled heap on the floor!!!
ELIMINATED: Steve Blackman (Ant)
BZZZTTTT!!! A HUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEE! Crowd pop as Shawn Michael’s music hits and The Heartbreak Kid himself emerges from beneath the Titan-tron. Shawn Michaels (Longy) makes his way to the ring and stands on the apron, pausing to give the crowd a quick wiggle of his hips, which causes much hysteria among the ladies, one particularly fat girl in the front row (Mystique) passes out and has to be taken away by paramedics. Michaels makes his way up to the top rope unseen by the combatants in the ring, who are all busy knocking seven bells out of each other. Val Venis turns just in time to see The Heartbreak Kid flying towards him with a cross-body! The Rock (Starlight) is sent hard into the corner by Mankind (Ice Blaster). Mankind goes to follow in but The Rock explodes out of the corner with a huge flying clothesline which knocks Mankind for a full 360° loop!
BZZZTTTT!!! Here comes Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow) and he’s coming out to his old ECW music! The fans look puzzled, they obviously never got ECW over here and have no idea who Dreamer is... Dreamer makes his way to the ring regardless. In the ring, DDP has Val Venis in position and hauls him up into a power-bomb position before spinning a couple of times and driving him into the mat! Spinning Powerbomb! Dreamer is in the ring and is going blow for blow with Raven! Here’s an old rivalry being revived! Al Snow goes to blindside DDP who has just got up from that powerbomb , but DDP sees it coming and---DIAMOND CUTTER! Al Snow isn’t moving on the mat, DDP hit that right on the money!
BZZZTTTT!!!OH MY GOD!!! That music!!! It can’t be! IT IS!!! Bret Hart (Crash)!!! A gigantic crowd pop for the WWF legend! Bret Hart slowly makes his way to the ring, he’s in no rush and why should he be? He gets to the side of the ring and narrowly avoiding Mankind who has just flown over the top rope, courtesy of the Rock using his own momentum against him!
ELIMINATED: Mankind (Ice Blaster)
Bret Hart makes his way into the ring and immediately locks eyes with The Rock (Starlight) But it’s Shawn Michaels (Longy) who knocks Bret Hart down with a drop-kick from the blindside! The Heartbreak has obviously not forgotten the feud he had all those years ago with ‘The Hitman’! Al Snow (Rickoss) connects with a crescent kick to DDP and turns in time to catch Val Venis (The Cong Man) trying to rush him. Al’s got his arms locked! Al grins as the crowd cheer and he reigns a salvo of head-butts on to Val! BZZZTTTTT!!!! Look there on the ramp! It’s the genetic freak Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)!!! Steiner makes his way into the ring pausing only to plant a kiss on each of his ‘peaks’.
Steiner is quickly into the ring and immediately hits a rolling belly-to-belly suplex on Raven (Starlight) who had tried to cut him off! Raven bounces back up and straight into a DDT from Tommy Dreamer! Dreamer talks trash to Raven, but then gets dropped right on his head due to an over head belly to belly suplex from Big Poppa Pump! Val Venis downs the Rock with a backbreaker! Val stands over the fallen people’s champ giving a quick grind before sitting down and laying some punches onto the Great one! Raven has Tommy Dreamer backed into the corner and sets him up on the top rope. Dreamer looks like he’s on dream street as Raven climbs up to join him! He’s going for a superplex! But wait Dreamer with a couple of blows to the mid section and he goes to push Raven off, but Raven pushes back and they both fall to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Raven (Starlight) and Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
BZZZTTTT!! The Rumble In The Jungle theme music ‘Da Antidote’ By The Stanton Warriors plays, as late entry Steven Richards (Shaneo) makes his way to the ring! Big Stevie Cool is one of two unannounced competitors to be taking part in this Rumble as Kronic, Brian Clarke and Brian Adams (Scott Giles) were turned away at customs! Richards enters the ring and is immediately hit by a Scott Steiner drop-kick! Incredible agility from a man that size! Tommy Dreamer and Raven continue to brawl on the floor as our team of referees desperately try to separate them!
Val Venis off the ropes, Brett Hart with a drop toe-hold! Float over by Bret into a modified head lock! DDP whips Al Snow off the ropes DDP ducks, telegraphed it! Boot to the face from Snow! But Val has Snow now, Russian leg sweep! DDP with A DDT to Val! Scott Steiner pulls Al Snow back to his feet, and GORILLA PRESS!!! Great display of strength from Scott Steiner as he walks to the ropes and nonchalantly tosses Al Snow to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Al Snow (Rickoss)
BZZZTTTT. As the referees are scraping what is left of Al Snow off the floor and helping him to the back, out comes The Bossman (MikeAll). Who meets the referees dragging Al Snow’s limp body away halfway down the ramp where he brutalises the defencless Snow with his nightstick! Snow is busted up real bad now! The Bossman is finally convinced to leave Snow alone and continues to make his way to the ring! Val Venis with a Russian Leg-Sweep to Shawn Michaels! Val goes up top---MONEY SHO...nope! Michaels moved! Val bounces right up to his feet as The Heartbreak kid is going for...hold on, Stevie is setting for his Stevie Kick and Shawn Michaels is set for the sweet chin music and WHAM!!! Val Venis takes two super-kicks to the head from opposite corners! His head just got squashed like a pancake!
BZZTTTT!!! This sold out crowd is on their feet as The Godfather (Tazz) makes his way to the ring with his usual compliment of lovely ‘escorts’! Godfather isn’t rushing to get involved in this one, preferring instead to do a little dancing with his ladies on the outside first! DDP (Mpuldy Cheese) fires a couple of straight right hands at Steven Richards (Shaneo) before finishing him off with a discus punch! Stevie slumps to the floor but the Bossman (MikeAll) clobbers DDP with his nightstic, that he brought into the ring with him! Bossman now turns his attentions to Stevie, he’s got his legs, maybe looking for a Boston crab? No Boosman falls backwards, CATAPULT! Stevie into and over the ropes!!!
ELIMINATED: Steven Richards (Shaneo)
Shawn Michaels continues to brawl with Bret Hart as Scott Steiner and the Rock trade blows. Val Venis goes toe-to-toe with DDP and The Bossman and The Godfather have paired off too! When, BZZZTTTT!!!! “Laaaatiiiino Heat” Here comes Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)! Latino Heat himself! The former European Champion makes possibly the slowest entrance of the day as he chooses to strut and preen his way down to the ring! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! Shawn Michaels just kicked DDP clean over the top rope!!!
ELIMINATED: DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
The Bossman is whipped into the corner by The Godfather who winds up to a huge crowd pop. THE HO TRAIN!!! Bossman just got squashed! Bossman staggers out of the corner and is met by a huge clothesline from the Rock! Godfather over the top, but wait he’s caught the top rope and is dangling there, he’s too big to haul himself back in though! Look at this! Eddie Guerrero has spotted Bossman’s predicament and has walked over, he prises Bossman’s fingers open one by one and the former corrections office falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: The Bossman (Mike All)
BZZZTTTTT!!!”Oh you didn’t know?” Here comes The Road Dogg (Kid Rock)!!!! “Your better call some bodyyyyyyyy” Val Venis and Bret Hart with a double clothesline which sends The Godfather to the floor!
ELIMINATED: The Godfather (Tazz)
Road Dogg straight into the action as he fires in a pair of right hands on Eddie Guererro before doing a little shimmy and a huge right hand knocks Guerrero to the mat! Shawn Michaels gets hit with a back-drop suplex, perfectly executed or course by Bret Hart! Scott Steiner has The Rock on the mat and he’s locked in The Steiner Recliner!!! Rocky is screaming in pain!
BZZZZZTTTTT!!! The sound of smashing glass brings the audience to it’s feet as Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock) makes his way into the ring. “ Business is about to pick up” Says Kamala in very clipped English, the first words he’s said from the commentary position to make sense all day! Stone Cold is quickly into the ring, where he Val Venis (Cong Man) tries to rush him, The Texas Rattlesnake steps to one side though and gives Val a push sending his straight over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Val Venis (The Cong Man)
The Rock lays a couple of punches on to the Road Dogg, before iminting his shimmy, drawing his hand back, spitting on it and slapping The D-O- double G straight over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
Scott Steiner has Eddie Guerrero up in a body slam position, but instead of slamming him, he dumps him to the floor! The bodies are really starting to tumble out of that ring now!
ELIMINATED: Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
BZZZTTTT!!! Here comes former WWF commissioner William Regal and---LOOK AT HIS HAND!!! He’s brought those brass knucks with him! Still Regal doesn’t look to keen to get into this one and stands on the outside remonstrating with the referees rather than getting into the ring! Stone Cold with the Irish-Whip to Scott Steiner, Lou Thesz press! And a salvo of punches to the one time Steiner Brother’s head for good measure! Regal finally gets into the ring and is pounced upon by Bret Hart, right hands from The Hitman, Regal with a block, forearm to The Hitman which backs him into the ropes! REGAL USED THE KNUCKS!!! Straight into Bret Hart’s face and he tumbles over the top and to the floor where he lays unconscious!
ELIMINATED: Bret Hart (Crash)
The fans boo Regal loudly for that action, but the boos turn to cheers as Regal turns back to the action and is immediately caught in The Rock’s PIE-BUSTER!!! Into the sharp-shooter! Huge crowd pop! Looks like the knucks went flying out of the ring as well! BZZZTTTT!!!
Here comes long-serving veteran of the mat wars Faarooq (Longy)! The APA member, in stark contrast to Regal, wastes no time running into the ring! Shawn Michaels goes to cut him off but gets whipped into the ropes for his trouble and as he comes back Faarooq drills him with a vicious standing spine-buster! Austin, meanwhile is being whipped off the other ropes and is met by a Steiner-line from Big Poppa Pump, who pauses to kiss his bulging bicep before dropping an elbow on Austin! Steiner makes the cover---1---2---3---4---5—6—7---8, well he can lie on Austin all day, the big dumb SOB has forgotten the only way to eliminate your opponent is over the ropes!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Here come the money!” It’s Shane McMahon (Cong Man)! And look! He’s got Paul Heyman with him! What on earth?!? They’re bringing a table to the ring with them! Shane O’Mac dances about a bit at the top of the ramp before making his way down to the ring. William Regal continues to got toe-to-toe with the Rock, stunning him with a pair of forearms, he goes for a third and it connects. Regal sends Rock off the ropes, as he comes back he goes for a clothesline Rock ducks and whips Regal off the ropes! Regal comes back, Rocky sidesteps and accelerates Regal straight over the top! No wait! He caught himself, but his grip fades and Regal falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: William Regal (Grandprix)
Shane O’Mac is now in the ring and Paul Heyman has set that table up on the outside! Scott Steiner lifts Faarooq for an atomic drop, but manages to atagger forward and dumps him over the ropes instead!
ELIMINATED Faarooq (Longy)
Shawn Michael continues to tangle with The Rock, right hand from HBK, blocked the Rock lays the smack down on Michaels Candy-! Sending him over the ropes but Michaels held on and lands on the apron, a huge ‘ooooohhhhh’ goes up from the fans! Michaels turns and gives them a grind of the hips, but in doing so doesn’t see the Texas Rattlesnake whipped off the ropes straight into Michaels! He falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Shawn Michaels (Longy)
BZZZTTTTT!!! Here comes Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese) and is it just me, or does the big man look even more annoyed than usual?!? Perhaps angry at the lack of TV time he’s had lately! Awesome wastes no time getting to the apron and uses the ropes to catapult himself into the ring taking out The Rock and Scott Steiner as he does so with a double clothesline! Stone Cold is felled by a big boot from the big Awesome who now goes after Shane McMahon! The Boy Wonder is whipped into the corner, AWESOME SPLASH! Shane McMAhon staggers out of the corner doubled up and Awesome quickly shoves him into position for a powerbomb! Awesome has him up, but look at this!!! Awesome runs the length of the ring before launching Shane O’Mac over the top rope and straight through the table that he brought to ringside himself! RUNNING AWESOME BOMB TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH A TABLE!!! OUCH!!!
ELIMINATED: Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
BZZZTTTT!!! The strange sounds of the Jungle fills the arena as the enormous afro of Haku (Crash) looms menacingly into sight! Meanwhile, back in the ring Stone Cold and the Rock have over-powered Awesome and are attempting to force him over the ropes! But Awesome hangs on and manages to break free with a pair of head-butts! Scott Stiener immediately goes after Haku, but a pair of shots to the Tongan monster’s head has no effect! Haku fires back with a big headbutt! Steiner wobbles but doesn’t go down! Haku whips him hard into the corner and follows in with a pair of chops that echo all the way through this arena. STEINER WITH A KNEE TO THE GROIN! Steiner uses the low blow to his advantage and rams Haku’s head a couple of times into the top turnbuckle! This doesn’t even register though and Haku bangs his own head on the turnbuckle a couple more times just for good measure! Another headbutt form Haku leaves Steiner on his back!
BZZTTTT!!! A cheesy piece of guitar music plays and Jeff Jarrett makes his way out, complete with guitar! Jarrett gets to the ring but finds Haku waiting for him and so Double J thinks twice about getting into the ring! The referees are trying to convince Jarrett to get into the ring! Haku is keaning through the ropes eager to get his hands on Jarrett, Jarrett takes a step back AND SMASHES THAT GUITAR RIGHT OVER HAKU’S HEAD!!! BUT WAIT!!! Haku rears up and looks happy about it! He wants more!!! But Awesome blindsides Haku! A running elbow to the back of the monster’s head sends him over the rope and Jarrett scurrying round to the other side of the ring! The referees have to step in to prevent Haku getting back in the ring!
ELIMINATED: Haku (Crash)
BZZTTTT!!! Oh my! It’s the man-beast Rhyno (Jetster)! Rhyno paises on the ramp, only to adjust his wrist taping before sprinting to the ring! The Rock with a rock-bottom to Jeff Jarrett, who only just got into the ring! Rhyno is set in the corner signalling for him to get up and as The Rock turns back to the action Rhyno gores him clean over the top rope! GORE! GORE! GORE! WOAH!!! That was some impact!
ELIMINATED: The Rock (Starlight)
Mike Awesome is reinging the blows in on Austin, but STUNNER!! Out of nowhere Austin just stunned Awesome! Rhyno runs at Scott Steiner who is stood in the middle of the ring. Rhyno picks Steiner up as he goes and keeps running giving a little push as he reaches the rope and sending the genetic freak to the floor! Rhyno is on a roll!!!
ELIMINATED: Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
BZZZZTTTT!! The APA’s music hits for the second time tonight as Bradshaw (Kid Rock) makes his way out to take his place in this huge match-up! Stone Cold and Jeff Jarrett are tading blows and the Texas Rattlesnake comes off better sending Jarrett into the corner! Austin follows in astomps a mudhole in Double J and walking it dry as the fans shout “Que?” Mike Awesome and Rhyno are absolutely laying into each other at the same time, right in the centre of the ring! Bradshaw strides hos way over the top rope and immediately makes a bee-line for Rhyno, helping Awesome send him to the mat where the big Texan jumps on top and lands some big soup bowl-like right hands on the man-beast!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Test, Test, This is a Test.” And here indeed, as the music informed us is Test (Longy)! Test walks down the ramp oozing arrogance like only a man who has immunity from being fired can do! Test has his sights on Bradshaw and nails him from behind as he was too busy stomping the life out of Rhyno. Jeff Jarrett looks in abd way from the beating Austin has goiven him and is lying in the corner, arms and legs wrapped around the bottom rope, determined that no-one will even get close to eliminating him!
BZZZTTTT!! Stanton Warrior’s ‘Da Antidote’ blares through the cheap PA system in the Municipál arena once again, denoting the arrival of a wrestler so low key that he doesn’t even have his own entry music any more, Chaz (Big_Slow). Chaz sprints to the ring and charges straight at Austin determined to make a name for himself. Austin is too busy punching the life out of Rhyno to see him coming, but wait! Austins last punch on Rhyno caused the Rattlesnake to move forwards and Chaz misses! Straight into and over the ropes! Erm, well now, that wasn’t very clever was it?
ELIMINATED: Chaz (Big_Slow)
BZZZTTTT!!! As Chaz curses what he considers his own bad luck and the rest of us consider his stupidity, the fans rises to their feet and salute the WWF’s own superhero The Hurricane (Crash)! Hurricane sprints to the ring and plants a boot in to Srone Cold’s stomach. Helms follows up by wrapping his hand around Austin’s throat. CHOKE---erm, nope, he can’t get him up. STUNNER!!! Out of nowhere Austin just stunned Helms! Jeff Jarrett, who has finally ventured out from the ropes, gets whipped into the corner by Rhyno. RHYNO CHARGES---AND--GOR--NO!!! Jarrett moved, but WHAM!!! CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Jarrett dodged one bullet but Bradshaw found the mark with that shot! GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno explodes out of the corner and nails Bradshaw!
BZZZTTTT!!! The screen counts down the arrival of Chris Jericho (Scott Giles), who struts to the ring with all his usual swagger. Before Y2J has even had chance to get to the ring though, The Hurricane is heading in the opposite direction courtesy of being stood too close to the ropes as Test hit him with a huge big boot.
ELIMINATED: The Hurricane (Crash)
Jericho is now in the ring and preys on the easy picking of the absolutely exhausted Jeff Jarrett who staggers straight into a double underhook back-breaker from Jericho. Stone Cold runs to attack Jericho though and gets in a couple of big right hands before whipping Jericho off the ropes LOU THESZ PRE---NO! Jericho blocked it and has Austin’s feet he’s going for THE WALLS OF JERI---NOPE!!! Jericho falls backwards instead and catapults Austin! AUSTIN OVER THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR!!!
ELIMINATED: Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
BZZTTTT!!! Here comes Albert (Jetster) now, dancing his way out to the ring to Scotty 2 Hotty’s music! Mike Awesome has his huge frame up on the top rope and he has Test and Bradshaw both down on the mat to aim for. AWESOME SPLASH!!! He got ‘em both cos he’s so damn big!!! Jeff Jarrett whipped into the corner by Albert who hits him with a corner splash! Jericho mops up whats left by Drop-kicking Double J in the back, the exhausted Jarrett tumbles to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
B-ZZ-T-T!!! The buzzer is beginning to sound a bit knackered as the Japanese Buzzsaw, Tajiri (Starlight) makes his way out to the ring. Tajiri instantly makes his presence felt by nailing Chris Jericho woith a trio of stiff kicks to the head. Jericho sinks to his knees and Tajiri lines up a knock-out blow, but Mike Awesome is creeping up behind him BACK KICK!!! Tajiri must have a sixth sense to know Awesome was behind him! The big man is caught off guard and flies over the rope landing with a sickening thud on the floor
EIMINATED: Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
B-----Z-----T!!! We barely hear the tiring buzzer now, but we hear Kurt Angle (Grandprix)’s music as it seems the Olympian secured himself a plum draw in this one! Kurt stands on the ramp signalling his own pyro as the real fireworks are happening in the ring! Bradshaw just uncharacteristically went up top, but Benoit kicked the ropes and the big Texan has fallen to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
B------T!!! As the buzzer dies out on us the last entry makes his way into the ring and he’s drawn the ‘perfect’ entry! It’s our other late entrant, Mr. Perfect (Shaneo)! Albert whips Tajiri into the corenr and goes to follow in with a charge, but Tajiri is quickly onto the top rope and has a tarantula locked in! But look at Kurt Angle, off the ropes, baseball slide drop kick, under Albert and the ropes to the head of Tajiri, Tajiri’s hold on Albert slips and he just fell right onto his head on the outside! His feet soon follow.
ELIMINATED: Tajiri (Starlight)
Test and Rhyno with a double clothesline to Albert who almost, but not quite, manages to hang on to the ropes. A comfortable upright landing is no consolation to the hip-hop hippo!
ELIMINATED: Albert (Jetster)
Rhyno’s part in the double clothesline left him open from behind though and it’s Mr. Perfect with a simple push over the ropes to finally eliminate the Man-Beast!
ELIMINATED: Rhyno (Jetster)
As Mr. Perfect turns back to the ring though, he finds Test who nails him with a huge pair of forearm shots! Kurt Angle with a waist-lock on Jericho which soon becomes a very painful looking overhead-release German Suplex! Jericho got folded up like an accordion right there! Test continues to beat down on Mr. Perfect who is getting beaten like a government mule out there! Mr. Perfect is a wily ring veteran though and with a quick tug of Test’s leather pants sends Mr. Immunity’s head crashing into the turnbuckle!
Chris Jericho with a snap suplex on Kurt Angle. Mr. Perfect with a front-face lock on Test. Test pushes perfect off and into the ropes, BIG BOOT!!! Perfect crashes to the floor right out in front of our announcer table!
ELIMINATED: Mr. Perfect (Shaneo)
Kurt Angle staggers back to his feet as Jericho looks at Test and Test looks back, they charge the Olympian, double clothesline over the ropes!!! He’s gone!!!
ELIMINATED: Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
Jericho wastes no time and immediately bounces off the ropes next to him SPRINGBOARD DROP-KI---!!!NO!!! Test caught him and dumps him over the ropes. Test turns to celebrate and doesn’t see Jericho desperately hanging on!!! Jericho struggles and finally gets a foot on the apron. He pulls back on the ropes, catapulting himself onto the top rope, spring board spinning kick the length of the ring, into the back of Test!!! Test over the top!!! Jericho has won!!!
ElIMINATED: Test (Longy)
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble mathc and a title shot of his pleasing at the next WWF Forum Pay-per-view….CHRIS JERICHO (Scott Giles)
RESULTS SUMMARY
ORDER OF ENTRY
1. Steve Blackman (Ant)
2. Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow)
3. Justin Credible (Rickoss)
4. Ken Shamrock (The_Cong_Man)
5. Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
6. Raven (Starlight)
7. Mankind (Ice Blaster)
8. Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
9. Viscera (AfroJoe)
10. Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
11. Al Snow (Rickoss)
12. DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
13. The Rock (Starlight)
14. Val Venis (The Cong Man)
15. Shawn Michaels (Longy)
16. Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
17. Bret Hart (Crash)
18. Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
19. Brian Clark (Scott Giles) WITHDRAWN Replaced by Stevie Richards
20. The Bossman (MikeAll)
21. The Godfather (Tazz)
22. Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
23. Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
24. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
25. William Regal (Grandprix)
26. Faarooq (Longy)
27. Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
28. Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
29. Haku (Crash)
30. Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
31. Rhyno (Jetster)
32. Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
33. Test (Longy)
34. Chaz (Big_Slow)
35. The Hurricane (Crash)
36. Chris Jericho (Scott Giles)
37. Albert (Jetster)
38. Tajiri (Starlight)
39. Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
40. Brian Adams (Scott Giles) WITHDRAWN Replaced by Mr.Perfect (Shaneo)
RESULTS SUMMARY
ORDER OF ELIMINATION (Places gained)
1. Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow)
2. Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
3. Justin Credible (Rickoss)
4. Viscera (AfroJoe)
5. Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
6. Ken Shamrock (The_Cong_Man)
7. Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
8. Steve Blackman (Ant)
9. Mankind (Ice Blaster)
10=. Raven (Starlight)
10=. Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
12. Al Snow (Rickoss)
13. Stevie Richards (Shaneo)
14. DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
15. The Bossman (MikeAll)
16. The Godfather (Tazz)
17. Val Venis (The Cong Man)
18. Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
19. Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
20. Bret Hart (Crash)
21. William Regal (Grandprix)
22. Faarooq (Longy)
23. Shawn Michaels (Longy)
24. Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
25. Haku (Crash)
26. The Rock (Starlight)
27. Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
28. Chaz (Big_Slow)
29. The Hurricane (Crash)
30. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
31. Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
32. Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
33. Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
34. Tajiri (Starlight)
35. Albert (Jetster)
36. Rhyno (Jetster)
37. Mr.Perfect (Shaneo)
38. Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
39. Test (Longy)
WINNER!!! Chris Jericho (Scott Giles)
Congratulations, to well, erm me, for being able to write all that :P Thanks to anyone who is till reading ;)
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Footage is shown from Porte Malebó airport earlier in the day as Brian Adams (Scott Giles) and Brian Clarke (Scott Giles) are turned away from entering the country due to passport irregularities.
Backstage Mr. Perfect (Shaneo) and Stevie Richards (Shaneo) are having coffee and a chat when the are approached by a breathless Cong Man.
CM: “Listen guys, get suited up, because you’re in the rumble, OK?”
SR: “Cool”
MP: “Nah, that’s not cool, Stevie...that’s just Perfect!”
___________________________________________
Much cheering from around the arena, as the fans show their appreciation for what has already proven to be an absolutely phenomenal event! Howard Finkel takes to the microphone “ Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for The Rumble in The Jungle over-the top-rope battle royale match!” Absolutely frantic cheering. “The forty competitors into this match have each drawn a number from one to forty, shortly the competitors who drew numbers one and two will enter the ring. They will be joined in a further two minutes by the competitor who drew number three and so on until all combatants have entered the ring. Elimination is achieved by throwing a competitor over the top rope to the floor. Both of the competitors feet must touch the floor in order for them to be eliminated. The winner is the last man left in the ring!” Howard Finkel exits the ring as we await our first competitor.
A low beat fills the arena, thud, thud thud thud,,, but this soon makes way to a faster Drum beat as Steve Blackman(Ant) makes his way to the ring, tough break drawing number one! Looks like the lethal weapon has come prepared though as he has a bag with him! Blackman slides into the ring under the ropes and opens up the bag revealing a kendo stick! Blackman stands facing the ramp and motions toward the back, daring his opponent to come to the ring!
Suddenly the arena is filled with coloured lights and a slightly strange sounding music as the sneering Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow) emerges from beneath the titan-tron and runs down to the ring. He slides in under the ropes ‘THWACK!’ and is met by a stinging shot from Blackman with that kendo stick! ‘THWACK!’ and another one for good measure! Remember, this is all legal as there are no DQs in this match! Blackman drags The Laughing Man back to his feet and positions his Kendo stick between Morrus’ legs before hoisting him up and slamming him back to the canvas, driving that Kendo stick where the sun don’t even think about shining in the process! Blackman follows up with a scything leg drop! As Hugh Morrus lies motionless on the canvas Steve Blackman goes back to his bag and retrieves a smaller pair of sticks, which he proceeds to impressively fling around his body for a couple of seconds before declaring “IT’S PARTY TIME!” By now The Laughing Man has had time to get to his feet, but he is met by a series of lightning quick blows from the lethal weapon and his sticks!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! There goes the buzzer, as our two minutes is up! A loud screeching piece of guitar music makes all our ears hurt as New York’s least favouroite son, Justin Credible (Rickoss) makes his way down to the ring, with Singapore Cane in hand!!! He stole that modified Kendo stick from the Sandman in his ECW days , I guess he figures he needs it against Blackman! Credible quickly enters the ring and waves the stick in Blackman’s direction. Blackman drops his smaller sticks and retrieves his Kendo stick! ‘THWACK!’ Credible to Blackman, the lethal weapon barely flinched! ‘THWACK!’ Credible staggers backwards as Blackman takes his turn! ‘THWACK’ Credible turns and gives Blackman some of his own medicine! ‘THWACk, THWACK THWACK!’ A trio of lighning fast Kendo stick shots from Blackman! ‘THWACK!’ LOW BLOW!!! Credible realised he wasn’t going to win a duel of canes with Blackman and hit him in the crotch with his cane instead!
BZZZTTTT!!! Ooh that’s the buzzer again as two minutes pass in the blink of an eye! ‘Ding! Ding! Dong!’ it’s Ken Shamrock (The Cong Man)! We haven’t seen him for a while now, but he’s going straight after his old adversary Steve Blackman! Justin Credible and Ken Shamrock are double teaming Steve Blackman (Ant)! Ankle Lock!!! ANKLE LOCK!!! Ken Shamrock has Steve Blackman locked in the ankle lock and the lethal weapon is screaming so loudly, you can hear him two block away! THWACK!!! And just to make matters worse, Justin Credible is hitting him across the back with his Singapore Cane as well! But Hugh Morrus is up! Back drop suplex on Justin Credible!!! Morrus gets back to his feet just in time to see a vicious clothesline from Ken Shamrock hit him square on the chin and send him tumbling backwards over the ropes to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Hugh Morrus (Big Slow)
Ken Shamrock (Cong) and Justin Credible (Rickoss) immediately back Steve Blackman (Ant) into the corner and attempt to force him over the ropes! But Blackman has a firm hold on the ropes and isn’t going to let go that easily! BZZZZTTTT!!! Oh My God!!! What is that awful music?!? Anyway, here’s Chuck Palumbo(Crash)! Which means no respite for Blackman as the former RAF pilot joins in the struggle to attempt to force Blackman over the ropes! Blackman swings a few chops and manages to extricate himself from that corner! Blackman looks down and finds that his Kendo stick is right next to him, THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! Blackman’s Kendo stick is broken as it crashes on to the heads of Credible, Palumbo and Shamrock who all tumble to the mat! Chuck Palumbo is first to his feet but gets met by a martial arts kick from Blackman! The Lethal Weapon is cleaning house! Justin Credible gets back to his feet only to get knocked down by another shot with the Kendo stick, Justin is busted wide open! But wait! Ken Shamrock grabs Blackman’s leg and pulls him down into a modified cross-leg breaker! Again you can hear Blackman scream in pain, as Shamrock is really doing a number on the leg of Blackman!
BZZZTTTT!!! “Caw, caw caaaaw” It’s Raven (Starlight)!!! Raven is our next competitor and he’s coming to the ring with a shopping cart loaded with plunder! Raven pulls a trash-can out of the trolley which has amongst other things in it, what looks like the remnants of a houseplant, a broom, a computer keyboard and some road signs! The bin is thrown into the ring and here comes Raven! Justin Credible is met by a trash-can lid to the head! Chuck Palumbo is next as Raven grabs another trash-can lid and gives Chucky a Trash-Can-chaito around the head! Palumbo collapses forward. Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackman fall victim to shots with a stop-sign as Raven is indiscriminate about who he is taking down! Raven turns and is digging deep into that trash-can and he’s pulled out a fire extinguisher! He points it at Justin Credible who is down on his knees! Justin Credible pleads with Raven not to set the fire extinguisher off in his face! WHACK!!! Steve Blackman was up and just kicked that fire extinguisher right back into Raven’s face!!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! The sound of a car crashing is followed by a huge pop from the capacity crowd jammed into the municipál arena as Mankind (Ice Blaster) comes out to the ring! Foley is in no rush to get to the ring as he pauses to slap hands and sign autographs for these fanatic fans! Meanwhile, back in the ring all the keys come flying off the computer keyboard as Raven clocks Justin Credible full on in the face with it and Ken Shamrock has Chuck Palumbo in a headlock and is trying to force the remains of that houseplant into his mouth!?! “In all my years in wrestling I’ve never seen anything like that!” screams Jim Ross as Mankind finally makes his way into the ring where he is greeted by a crescent kick for Steve Blackman! Chuck Palumbo shoves Ken Shamrock forwards, breaking the headlock and sending the world most dangerous man off the ropes. As he comes back Chuck goes for a clothesline, but Shamrock stops dead and in one swift motion garbs Chucks arm and swings him hard into the ropes! Low bridge!!! Justin Credible dipped the ropes and Chucky goes tumbling to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
BZZZTTT!! Chuck Palumbo points angrily towards Justin Credible as Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese) emerges from the back, ready to take his place in this contest. Justin Credible stands on the bottom rope talking trash with Chucky who is on the outside, which proves to be a huge mistake as Mankind grabs the bottom of his leg and dumps him over the top!
ELIMINATED: Justin Credible (Rickoss)
Lance Storm jumps up on to the aprons and pulls back on the top rope before catapulting himself into the ring with a double clothesline that takes out Raven and Steve Blackman! Storm gets back to his feet but gets hit from behind by a stop sign wielded by Mankind! A slightly badly pronounced Foley chant goes around the arena! BZZZZTTTTT!!! Woah! Check out that beat, here comes the big, bad and downright ugly Viscera (AfroJoe)! Viscera waddles his way down the ramp and into the ring, where Raven meets him with a clothesline that didn’t even phase him! Viscera with a big slam on Raven! WHAM!!! Double super-kick!!! Steve Blackman and Lance Storm put their efforts together and reap the rewards as Viscera tumbles backwards over the top rope, almost leaving a crater in the arena floor on the outside!
ELIMINATED: Viscera (AfroJoe)
Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese) whips Steve Blackman (Ant) off the ropes, Storm drops down grabbing The Lethal Weapon’s leg and rolls forward coming up into a half-crab position!!! Blackman screams in pain as his already hurt leg gets stretched a bit more! CLANG!!! Trashcan lid to the head of Raven, courtesy of Mankind (Ice Blaster), no respite for Blackman though as Ken Shamrock (Cong) is quickly over and locks him in a spinning toe-hold! Raven with a stomp to Shamrock that breaks the hold though! BZZZTTTT! And here comes Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)! Another face that we haven’t seen around in a while, the7-footer will want to make the most of this opportunity to get noticed! Bull sprints down to the ring, step over the top rope and hits a scissors kick right into the face of Raven! But Bull leaves himself wide open to a huge over-head release German suplex from Ken Shamrock! He landed right on his head!
Steve Blackman is back to his feet but is struggling to walk, looks like some real damage has been done to that leg! This is getting really hard to call, so much action going on! Mankind has Raven backed into a corner and has unleashed a flurry of punches at him, carrying on until he has slumped all the way to the bottom rope! Lance Storm hits a spinning heel kick right into Ken Shamrock’s face! BZZZTTTT! “What does everybody want?” Here comes Al Snow(Rickoss)! Al Snow sprints to the ring and he has got head with him! Al is quickly into the ring and he swings head at Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe) it hits him full on and sends him flying over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
And look! Mankind and Steve Blackman have Ken Shamrock cornered and are trying to force him over the top! Shamrock clings on for dear life, but he too gets cracked over the head with a head shot from Al Snow! Shamrock loses his grip!
ELIMINATED: Ken Shamrock (The Cong Man)
Raven throws Lance Storm runs at Raven, Raven side-steps and launches him over the top rope! But Lance Storm held on! He grabbed the top rope as he went and lands on the canvas, he pulls on the rope and catapults himself back in, hitting Raven with a spinning wheel kick! BZZZZTTTTT!!! “Yo it’s me, it’s me, it’s D-D-P!!! Here comes the former WCW Champion Diamond Dallas Page (Mouldy Cheese)! Steve Blackman continues doing his best to hobble around the ring, he’s been in there a long time now! Raven has Lance Storm locked up again, suplex attempt, blocked, snap suplex! Lance Storm with a great counter!
Al Snow (Rickoss) and Mankind (Ice Blaster) are in a collar and elbow tie up! Al with the go-behind, but a big elbow from Mankind breaks it up. Mankind quickly turns around and buries a boot into Al Snow’s stomach, he pulls Al’s arms up and hits a double underhook DDT! Mankind is now going into his pants for something!!! He’s GOT SOCKO!!! Al staggers back up and gets that sweaty gym sock rammed right down his throat!! UGH!!! BZZZZZTTTTT!!!
“IF YOU SMELL-EL-EL-ELLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING” The crowd shoot to their feet as they get a glimpse of the man they have all been waiting to see! Here comes THE ROCK (Starlight)!!! Lance Storm attempts to meet the Rock as soon as he gets into the ring with a big right hand, but the Rock blocks it and fires in a couple of his own, backing Storm into the ropes. The Rock pulls his hand back, spits on it and delivers a huge smack to Storm which send him all the way over the ropes and to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
Raven tries to hit the Rock from Behind but, in one swift motion, the Rock turns, ducks and hits Raven with a Rock Bottom!!! WHACK!!! The Rocks hot streak is ended by Al Snow hitting him over the back of his head with head! Al Snow raises Head to the crowd but gets only boos in return! KIP-UP!!! The Rock shot straight back up! Al with a kick, blocked DDT!!! Kick comes in from Blackman! But The Rock caught his foot! Leg-lace takedown into a sharp-shooter! The Rock has the already injured Steve Blackman (Ant) locked in the sharp-shooter! Al Snow screams in pain!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Heeeeelloooooo Ladies”, it’s Val Venis (The Cong Man)!!! Val makes his way halfway down the ramp, before removing his towel and sprinting to the ring! Val with an elbow to the back of the Rocks head, breaking up that sharp-shooter! Raven with a huge DDT to Al Snow!!! Head goes flying out of the ring! Mankind hits a three quarter turning neck-breaker on DDP!!! Val Venis has the Rock up and sends him off the ropes, clothesline attempt, The Rock blocks, grabs Val’s arm and spins around into a DDT!!! There’s a lot of heads hitting the mat right now!!! Raven grabs Mankind and whips him into the corner, following straight in with a clothes-line, the force of which makes Mankind stagger out of the corner, Raven quickly follows up with a bulldog too!
The Rock has Steve Blackman now and whips him off the ropes, Blackman can barely run and half-runs, half-hobble back toward the Rock, as The Rock takes three steps backwards, getting himself nearer the ropes, BELLY-TO-BELLY OVERHEAD RELEASE SUPLEX!!!! And the Rock was so near the ropes Blackman cleared them and lands in a crumpled heap on the floor!!!
ELIMINATED: Steve Blackman (Ant)
BZZZTTTT!!! A HUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEE! Crowd pop as Shawn Michael’s music hits and The Heartbreak Kid himself emerges from beneath the Titan-tron. Shawn Michaels (Longy) makes his way to the ring and stands on the apron, pausing to give the crowd a quick wiggle of his hips, which causes much hysteria among the ladies, one particularly fat girl in the front row (Mystique) passes out and has to be taken away by paramedics. Michaels makes his way up to the top rope unseen by the combatants in the ring, who are all busy knocking seven bells out of each other. Val Venis turns just in time to see The Heartbreak Kid flying towards him with a cross-body! The Rock (Starlight) is sent hard into the corner by Mankind (Ice Blaster). Mankind goes to follow in but The Rock explodes out of the corner with a huge flying clothesline which knocks Mankind for a full 360° loop!
BZZZTTTT!!! Here comes Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow) and he’s coming out to his old ECW music! The fans look puzzled, they obviously never got ECW over here and have no idea who Dreamer is... Dreamer makes his way to the ring regardless. In the ring, DDP has Val Venis in position and hauls him up into a power-bomb position before spinning a couple of times and driving him into the mat! Spinning Powerbomb! Dreamer is in the ring and is going blow for blow with Raven! Here’s an old rivalry being revived! Al Snow goes to blindside DDP who has just got up from that powerbomb , but DDP sees it coming and---DIAMOND CUTTER! Al Snow isn’t moving on the mat, DDP hit that right on the money!
BZZZTTTT!!!OH MY GOD!!! That music!!! It can’t be! IT IS!!! Bret Hart (Crash)!!! A gigantic crowd pop for the WWF legend! Bret Hart slowly makes his way to the ring, he’s in no rush and why should he be? He gets to the side of the ring and narrowly avoiding Mankind who has just flown over the top rope, courtesy of the Rock using his own momentum against him!
ELIMINATED: Mankind (Ice Blaster)
Bret Hart makes his way into the ring and immediately locks eyes with The Rock (Starlight) But it’s Shawn Michaels (Longy) who knocks Bret Hart down with a drop-kick from the blindside! The Heartbreak has obviously not forgotten the feud he had all those years ago with ‘The Hitman’! Al Snow (Rickoss) connects with a crescent kick to DDP and turns in time to catch Val Venis (The Cong Man) trying to rush him. Al’s got his arms locked! Al grins as the crowd cheer and he reigns a salvo of head-butts on to Val! BZZZTTTTT!!!! Look there on the ramp! It’s the genetic freak Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)!!! Steiner makes his way into the ring pausing only to plant a kiss on each of his ‘peaks’.
Steiner is quickly into the ring and immediately hits a rolling belly-to-belly suplex on Raven (Starlight) who had tried to cut him off! Raven bounces back up and straight into a DDT from Tommy Dreamer! Dreamer talks trash to Raven, but then gets dropped right on his head due to an over head belly to belly suplex from Big Poppa Pump! Val Venis downs the Rock with a backbreaker! Val stands over the fallen people’s champ giving a quick grind before sitting down and laying some punches onto the Great one! Raven has Tommy Dreamer backed into the corner and sets him up on the top rope. Dreamer looks like he’s on dream street as Raven climbs up to join him! He’s going for a superplex! But wait Dreamer with a couple of blows to the mid section and he goes to push Raven off, but Raven pushes back and they both fall to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Raven (Starlight) and Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
BZZZTTTT!! The Rumble In The Jungle theme music ‘Da Antidote’ By The Stanton Warriors plays, as late entry Steven Richards (Shaneo) makes his way to the ring! Big Stevie Cool is one of two unannounced competitors to be taking part in this Rumble as Kronic, Brian Clarke and Brian Adams (Scott Giles) were turned away at customs! Richards enters the ring and is immediately hit by a Scott Steiner drop-kick! Incredible agility from a man that size! Tommy Dreamer and Raven continue to brawl on the floor as our team of referees desperately try to separate them!
Val Venis off the ropes, Brett Hart with a drop toe-hold! Float over by Bret into a modified head lock! DDP whips Al Snow off the ropes DDP ducks, telegraphed it! Boot to the face from Snow! But Val has Snow now, Russian leg sweep! DDP with A DDT to Val! Scott Steiner pulls Al Snow back to his feet, and GORILLA PRESS!!! Great display of strength from Scott Steiner as he walks to the ropes and nonchalantly tosses Al Snow to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Al Snow (Rickoss)
BZZZTTTT. As the referees are scraping what is left of Al Snow off the floor and helping him to the back, out comes The Bossman (MikeAll). Who meets the referees dragging Al Snow’s limp body away halfway down the ramp where he brutalises the defencless Snow with his nightstick! Snow is busted up real bad now! The Bossman is finally convinced to leave Snow alone and continues to make his way to the ring! Val Venis with a Russian Leg-Sweep to Shawn Michaels! Val goes up top---MONEY SHO...nope! Michaels moved! Val bounces right up to his feet as The Heartbreak kid is going for...hold on, Stevie is setting for his Stevie Kick and Shawn Michaels is set for the sweet chin music and WHAM!!! Val Venis takes two super-kicks to the head from opposite corners! His head just got squashed like a pancake!
BZZTTTT!!! This sold out crowd is on their feet as The Godfather (Tazz) makes his way to the ring with his usual compliment of lovely ‘escorts’! Godfather isn’t rushing to get involved in this one, preferring instead to do a little dancing with his ladies on the outside first! DDP (Mpuldy Cheese) fires a couple of straight right hands at Steven Richards (Shaneo) before finishing him off with a discus punch! Stevie slumps to the floor but the Bossman (MikeAll) clobbers DDP with his nightstic, that he brought into the ring with him! Bossman now turns his attentions to Stevie, he’s got his legs, maybe looking for a Boston crab? No Boosman falls backwards, CATAPULT! Stevie into and over the ropes!!!
ELIMINATED: Steven Richards (Shaneo)
Shawn Michaels continues to brawl with Bret Hart as Scott Steiner and the Rock trade blows. Val Venis goes toe-to-toe with DDP and The Bossman and The Godfather have paired off too! When, BZZZTTTT!!!! “Laaaatiiiino Heat” Here comes Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)! Latino Heat himself! The former European Champion makes possibly the slowest entrance of the day as he chooses to strut and preen his way down to the ring! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! Shawn Michaels just kicked DDP clean over the top rope!!!
ELIMINATED: DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
The Bossman is whipped into the corner by The Godfather who winds up to a huge crowd pop. THE HO TRAIN!!! Bossman just got squashed! Bossman staggers out of the corner and is met by a huge clothesline from the Rock! Godfather over the top, but wait he’s caught the top rope and is dangling there, he’s too big to haul himself back in though! Look at this! Eddie Guerrero has spotted Bossman’s predicament and has walked over, he prises Bossman’s fingers open one by one and the former corrections office falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: The Bossman (Mike All)
BZZZTTTTT!!!”Oh you didn’t know?” Here comes The Road Dogg (Kid Rock)!!!! “Your
ELIMINATED: The Godfather (Tazz)
Road Dogg straight into the action as he fires in a pair of right hands on Eddie Guererro before doing a little shimmy and a huge right hand knocks Guerrero to the mat! Shawn Michaels gets hit with a back-drop suplex, perfectly executed or course by Bret Hart! Scott Steiner has The Rock on the mat and he’s locked in The Steiner Recliner!!! Rocky is screaming in pain!
BZZZZZTTTTT!!! The sound of smashing glass brings the audience to it’s feet as Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock) makes his way into the ring. “ Business is about to pick up” Says Kamala in very clipped English, the first words he’s said from the commentary position to make sense all day! Stone Cold is quickly into the ring, where he Val Venis (Cong Man) tries to rush him, The Texas Rattlesnake steps to one side though and gives Val a push sending his straight over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Val Venis (The Cong Man)
The Rock lays a couple of punches on to the Road Dogg, before iminting his shimmy, drawing his hand back, spitting on it and slapping The D-O- double G straight over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
Scott Steiner has Eddie Guerrero up in a body slam position, but instead of slamming him, he dumps him to the floor! The bodies are really starting to tumble out of that ring now!
ELIMINATED: Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
BZZZTTTT!!! Here comes former WWF commissioner William Regal and---LOOK AT HIS HAND!!! He’s brought those brass knucks with him! Still Regal doesn’t look to keen to get into this one and stands on the outside remonstrating with the referees rather than getting into the ring! Stone Cold with the Irish-Whip to Scott Steiner, Lou Thesz press! And a salvo of punches to the one time Steiner Brother’s head for good measure! Regal finally gets into the ring and is pounced upon by Bret Hart, right hands from The Hitman, Regal with a block, forearm to The Hitman which backs him into the ropes! REGAL USED THE KNUCKS!!! Straight into Bret Hart’s face and he tumbles over the top and to the floor where he lays unconscious!
ELIMINATED: Bret Hart (Crash)
The fans boo Regal loudly for that action, but the boos turn to cheers as Regal turns back to the action and is immediately caught in The Rock’s PIE-BUSTER!!! Into the sharp-shooter! Huge crowd pop! Looks like the knucks went flying out of the ring as well! BZZZTTTT!!!
Here comes long-serving veteran of the mat wars Faarooq (Longy)! The APA member, in stark contrast to Regal, wastes no time running into the ring! Shawn Michaels goes to cut him off but gets whipped into the ropes for his trouble and as he comes back Faarooq drills him with a vicious standing spine-buster! Austin, meanwhile is being whipped off the other ropes and is met by a Steiner-line from Big Poppa Pump, who pauses to kiss his bulging bicep before dropping an elbow on Austin! Steiner makes the cover---1---2---3---4---5—6—7---8, well he can lie on Austin all day, the big dumb SOB has forgotten the only way to eliminate your opponent is over the ropes!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Here come the money!” It’s Shane McMahon (Cong Man)! And look! He’s got Paul Heyman with him! What on earth?!? They’re bringing a table to the ring with them! Shane O’Mac dances about a bit at the top of the ramp before making his way down to the ring. William Regal continues to got toe-to-toe with the Rock, stunning him with a pair of forearms, he goes for a third and it connects. Regal sends Rock off the ropes, as he comes back he goes for a clothesline Rock ducks and whips Regal off the ropes! Regal comes back, Rocky sidesteps and accelerates Regal straight over the top! No wait! He caught himself, but his grip fades and Regal falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: William Regal (Grandprix)
Shane O’Mac is now in the ring and Paul Heyman has set that table up on the outside! Scott Steiner lifts Faarooq for an atomic drop, but manages to atagger forward and dumps him over the ropes instead!
ELIMINATED Faarooq (Longy)
Shawn Michael continues to tangle with The Rock, right hand from HBK, blocked the Rock lays the smack down on Michaels Candy-
ELIMINATED: Shawn Michaels (Longy)
BZZZTTTTT!!! Here comes Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese) and is it just me, or does the big man look even more annoyed than usual?!? Perhaps angry at the lack of TV time he’s had lately! Awesome wastes no time getting to the apron and uses the ropes to catapult himself into the ring taking out The Rock and Scott Steiner as he does so with a double clothesline! Stone Cold is felled by a big boot from the big Awesome who now goes after Shane McMahon! The Boy Wonder is whipped into the corner, AWESOME SPLASH! Shane McMAhon staggers out of the corner doubled up and Awesome quickly shoves him into position for a powerbomb! Awesome has him up, but look at this!!! Awesome runs the length of the ring before launching Shane O’Mac over the top rope and straight through the table that he brought to ringside himself! RUNNING AWESOME BOMB TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH A TABLE!!! OUCH!!!
ELIMINATED: Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
BZZZTTTT!!! The strange sounds of the Jungle fills the arena as the enormous afro of Haku (Crash) looms menacingly into sight! Meanwhile, back in the ring Stone Cold and the Rock have over-powered Awesome and are attempting to force him over the ropes! But Awesome hangs on and manages to break free with a pair of head-butts! Scott Stiener immediately goes after Haku, but a pair of shots to the Tongan monster’s head has no effect! Haku fires back with a big headbutt! Steiner wobbles but doesn’t go down! Haku whips him hard into the corner and follows in with a pair of chops that echo all the way through this arena. STEINER WITH A KNEE TO THE GROIN! Steiner uses the low blow to his advantage and rams Haku’s head a couple of times into the top turnbuckle! This doesn’t even register though and Haku bangs his own head on the turnbuckle a couple more times just for good measure! Another headbutt form Haku leaves Steiner on his back!
BZZTTTT!!! A cheesy piece of guitar music plays and Jeff Jarrett makes his way out, complete with guitar! Jarrett gets to the ring but finds Haku waiting for him and so Double J thinks twice about getting into the ring! The referees are trying to convince Jarrett to get into the ring! Haku is keaning through the ropes eager to get his hands on Jarrett, Jarrett takes a step back AND SMASHES THAT GUITAR RIGHT OVER HAKU’S HEAD!!! BUT WAIT!!! Haku rears up and looks happy about it! He wants more!!! But Awesome blindsides Haku! A running elbow to the back of the monster’s head sends him over the rope and Jarrett scurrying round to the other side of the ring! The referees have to step in to prevent Haku getting back in the ring!
ELIMINATED: Haku (Crash)
BZZTTTT!!! Oh my! It’s the man-beast Rhyno (Jetster)! Rhyno paises on the ramp, only to adjust his wrist taping before sprinting to the ring! The Rock with a rock-bottom to Jeff Jarrett, who only just got into the ring! Rhyno is set in the corner signalling for him to get up and as The Rock turns back to the action Rhyno gores him clean over the top rope! GORE! GORE! GORE! WOAH!!! That was some impact!
ELIMINATED: The Rock (Starlight)
Mike Awesome is reinging the blows in on Austin, but STUNNER!! Out of nowhere Austin just stunned Awesome! Rhyno runs at Scott Steiner who is stood in the middle of the ring. Rhyno picks Steiner up as he goes and keeps running giving a little push as he reaches the rope and sending the genetic freak to the floor! Rhyno is on a roll!!!
ELIMINATED: Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
BZZZZTTTT!! The APA’s music hits for the second time tonight as Bradshaw (Kid Rock) makes his way out to take his place in this huge match-up! Stone Cold and Jeff Jarrett are tading blows and the Texas Rattlesnake comes off better sending Jarrett into the corner! Austin follows in astomps a mudhole in Double J and walking it dry as the fans shout “Que?” Mike Awesome and Rhyno are absolutely laying into each other at the same time, right in the centre of the ring! Bradshaw strides hos way over the top rope and immediately makes a bee-line for Rhyno, helping Awesome send him to the mat where the big Texan jumps on top and lands some big soup bowl-like right hands on the man-beast!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Test, Test, This is a Test.” And here indeed, as the music informed us is Test (Longy)! Test walks down the ramp oozing arrogance like only a man who has immunity from being fired can do! Test has his sights on Bradshaw and nails him from behind as he was too busy stomping the life out of Rhyno. Jeff Jarrett looks in abd way from the beating Austin has goiven him and is lying in the corner, arms and legs wrapped around the bottom rope, determined that no-one will even get close to eliminating him!
BZZZTTTT!! Stanton Warrior’s ‘Da Antidote’ blares through the cheap PA system in the Municipál arena once again, denoting the arrival of a wrestler so low key that he doesn’t even have his own entry music any more, Chaz (Big_Slow). Chaz sprints to the ring and charges straight at Austin determined to make a name for himself. Austin is too busy punching the life out of Rhyno to see him coming, but wait! Austins last punch on Rhyno caused the Rattlesnake to move forwards and Chaz misses! Straight into and over the ropes! Erm, well now, that wasn’t very clever was it?
ELIMINATED: Chaz (Big_Slow)
BZZZTTTT!!! As Chaz curses what he considers his own bad luck and the rest of us consider his stupidity, the fans rises to their feet and salute the WWF’s own superhero The Hurricane (Crash)! Hurricane sprints to the ring and plants a boot in to Srone Cold’s stomach. Helms follows up by wrapping his hand around Austin’s throat. CHOKE---erm, nope, he can’t get him up. STUNNER!!! Out of nowhere Austin just stunned Helms! Jeff Jarrett, who has finally ventured out from the ropes, gets whipped into the corner by Rhyno. RHYNO CHARGES---AND--GOR--NO!!! Jarrett moved, but WHAM!!! CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Jarrett dodged one bullet but Bradshaw found the mark with that shot! GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno explodes out of the corner and nails Bradshaw!
BZZZTTTT!!! The screen counts down the arrival of Chris Jericho (Scott Giles), who struts to the ring with all his usual swagger. Before Y2J has even had chance to get to the ring though, The Hurricane is heading in the opposite direction courtesy of being stood too close to the ropes as Test hit him with a huge big boot.
ELIMINATED: The Hurricane (Crash)
Jericho is now in the ring and preys on the easy picking of the absolutely exhausted Jeff Jarrett who staggers straight into a double underhook back-breaker from Jericho. Stone Cold runs to attack Jericho though and gets in a couple of big right hands before whipping Jericho off the ropes LOU THESZ PRE---NO! Jericho blocked it and has Austin’s feet he’s going for THE WALLS OF JERI---NOPE!!! Jericho falls backwards instead and catapults Austin! AUSTIN OVER THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR!!!
ELIMINATED: Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
BZZTTTT!!! Here comes Albert (Jetster) now, dancing his way out to the ring to Scotty 2 Hotty’s music! Mike Awesome has his huge frame up on the top rope and he has Test and Bradshaw both down on the mat to aim for. AWESOME SPLASH!!! He got ‘em both cos he’s so damn big!!! Jeff Jarrett whipped into the corner by Albert who hits him with a corner splash! Jericho mops up whats left by Drop-kicking Double J in the back, the exhausted Jarrett tumbles to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
B-ZZ-T-T!!! The buzzer is beginning to sound a bit knackered as the Japanese Buzzsaw, Tajiri (Starlight) makes his way out to the ring. Tajiri instantly makes his presence felt by nailing Chris Jericho woith a trio of stiff kicks to the head. Jericho sinks to his knees and Tajiri lines up a knock-out blow, but Mike Awesome is creeping up behind him BACK KICK!!! Tajiri must have a sixth sense to know Awesome was behind him! The big man is caught off guard and flies over the rope landing with a sickening thud on the floor
EIMINATED: Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
B-----Z-----T!!! We barely hear the tiring buzzer now, but we hear Kurt Angle (Grandprix)’s music as it seems the Olympian secured himself a plum draw in this one! Kurt stands on the ramp signalling his own pyro as the real fireworks are happening in the ring! Bradshaw just uncharacteristically went up top, but Benoit kicked the ropes and the big Texan has fallen to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
B------T!!! As the buzzer dies out on us the last entry makes his way into the ring and he’s drawn the ‘perfect’ entry! It’s our other late entrant, Mr. Perfect (Shaneo)! Albert whips Tajiri into the corenr and goes to follow in with a charge, but Tajiri is quickly onto the top rope and has a tarantula locked in! But look at Kurt Angle, off the ropes, baseball slide drop kick, under Albert and the ropes to the head of Tajiri, Tajiri’s hold on Albert slips and he just fell right onto his head on the outside! His feet soon follow.
ELIMINATED: Tajiri (Starlight)
Test and Rhyno with a double clothesline to Albert who almost, but not quite, manages to hang on to the ropes. A comfortable upright landing is no consolation to the hip-hop hippo!
ELIMINATED: Albert (Jetster)
Rhyno’s part in the double clothesline left him open from behind though and it’s Mr. Perfect with a simple push over the ropes to finally eliminate the Man-Beast!
ELIMINATED: Rhyno (Jetster)
As Mr. Perfect turns back to the ring though, he finds Test who nails him with a huge pair of forearm shots! Kurt Angle with a waist-lock on Jericho which soon becomes a very painful looking overhead-release German Suplex! Jericho got folded up like an accordion right there! Test continues to beat down on Mr. Perfect who is getting beaten like a government mule out there! Mr. Perfect is a wily ring veteran though and with a quick tug of Test’s leather pants sends Mr. Immunity’s head crashing into the turnbuckle!
Chris Jericho with a snap suplex on Kurt Angle. Mr. Perfect with a front-face lock on Test. Test pushes perfect off and into the ropes, BIG BOOT!!! Perfect crashes to the floor right out in front of our announcer table!
ELIMINATED: Mr. Perfect (Shaneo)
Kurt Angle staggers back to his feet as Jericho looks at Test and Test looks back, they charge the Olympian, double clothesline over the ropes!!! He’s gone!!!
ELIMINATED: Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
Jericho wastes no time and immediately bounces off the ropes next to him SPRINGBOARD DROP-KI---!!!NO!!! Test caught him and dumps him over the ropes. Test turns to celebrate and doesn’t see Jericho desperately hanging on!!! Jericho struggles and finally gets a foot on the apron. He pulls back on the ropes, catapulting himself onto the top rope, spring board spinning kick the length of the ring, into the back of Test!!! Test over the top!!! Jericho has won!!!
ElIMINATED: Test (Longy)
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble mathc and a title shot of his pleasing at the next WWF Forum Pay-per-view….CHRIS JERICHO (Scott Giles)
RESULTS SUMMARY
ORDER OF ENTRY
1. Steve Blackman (Ant)
2. Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow)
3. Justin Credible (Rickoss)
4. Ken Shamrock (The_Cong_Man)
5. Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
6. Raven (Starlight)
7. Mankind (Ice Blaster)
8. Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
9. Viscera (AfroJoe)
10. Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
11. Al Snow (Rickoss)
12. DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
13. The Rock (Starlight)
14. Val Venis (The Cong Man)
15. Shawn Michaels (Longy)
16. Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
17. Bret Hart (Crash)
18. Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
19. Brian Clark (Scott Giles) WITHDRAWN Replaced by Stevie Richards
20. The Bossman (MikeAll)
21. The Godfather (Tazz)
22. Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
23. Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
24. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
25. William Regal (Grandprix)
26. Faarooq (Longy)
27. Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
28. Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
29. Haku (Crash)
30. Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
31. Rhyno (Jetster)
32. Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
33. Test (Longy)
34. Chaz (Big_Slow)
35. The Hurricane (Crash)
36. Chris Jericho (Scott Giles)
37. Albert (Jetster)
38. Tajiri (Starlight)
39. Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
40. Brian Adams (Scott Giles) WITHDRAWN Replaced by Mr.Perfect (Shaneo)
RESULTS SUMMARY
ORDER OF ELIMINATION (Places gained)
1. Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow)
2. Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
3. Justin Credible (Rickoss)
4. Viscera (AfroJoe)
5. Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
6. Ken Shamrock (The_Cong_Man)
7. Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
8. Steve Blackman (Ant)
9. Mankind (Ice Blaster)
10=. Raven (Starlight)
10=. Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
12. Al Snow (Rickoss)
13. Stevie Richards (Shaneo)
14. DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
15. The Bossman (MikeAll)
16. The Godfather (Tazz)
17. Val Venis (The Cong Man)
18. Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
19. Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
20. Bret Hart (Crash)
21. William Regal (Grandprix)
22. Faarooq (Longy)
23. Shawn Michaels (Longy)
24. Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
25. Haku (Crash)
26. The Rock (Starlight)
27. Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
28. Chaz (Big_Slow)
29. The Hurricane (Crash)
30. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
31. Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
32. Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
33. Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
34. Tajiri (Starlight)
35. Albert (Jetster)
36. Rhyno (Jetster)
37. Mr.Perfect (Shaneo)
38. Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
39. Test (Longy)
WINNER!!! Chris Jericho (Scott Giles)
Congratulations, to well, erm me, for being able to write all that :P Thanks to anyone who is till reading ;)
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS i come back of holiday to be met by my wrestler winning a 40 man Royal Rumble.
Haha In ya face Jericho haters.
And the Title i am going for is the Big One: THE WWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Haha In ya face Jericho haters.
And the Title i am going for is the Big One: THE WWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Wow! What a match! Fantastic stuff Congie, a brilliant way to end what has been a great PPV. My personal favourite part was the Awesome Bomb through the table, but there were many other excellent parts too. It kept me reading with the non-stop action and a great mixture of hardcore and technical wrestling. Also, Jericho won!! Fantastic, well done Scott Giles!!
I would like to congratulate myself as Blackman, for lasting such a long time. Well done me. {:)
Awesome match Congie.
I would like to congratulate myself as Blackman, for lasting such a long time. Well done me. {:)
Awesome match Congie.
Dead Wonder wrote:
> Great way to end the rumble (well, kinda!). So, one more match to go.
AJ,
> let's make it a good one, let's make it a BDA special...LET'S HAVE NEW CAW TAG
> CHAMPS!
---
My match was up before this in fact.
:D
> Great way to end the rumble (well, kinda!). So, one more match to go.
AJ,
> let's make it a good one, let's make it a BDA special...LET'S HAVE NEW CAW TAG
> CHAMPS!
---
My match was up before this in fact.
:D
Grandprix wrote:
> Looks like Jericho is a future champ. But what title will he go for?
I
> thought a few CAW wrestlers would be in it?
There was going to be, but I put them into the HardCAW title match instead
> Looks like Jericho is a future champ. But what title will he go for?
I
> thought a few CAW wrestlers would be in it?
There was going to be, but I put them into the HardCAW title match instead
Another epic and another great match. Favourite moment Awesome Bomb to Shane through a table. Not original (Alliance Battle Royal) but still cool.
Great way to end the rumble (well, kinda!). So, one more match to go.
AJ, let's make it a good one, let's make it a BDA special...LET'S HAVE NEW CAW TAG CHAMPS!
AJ, let's make it a good one, let's make it a BDA special...LET'S HAVE NEW CAW TAG CHAMPS!
Well, that was big... very big in fact, a bit bigger than mine. :@
:-)
Anyway, it was great to read, and a lot of effort went into it.
Great stuff!
I agree with Ice Blaster that Jericho shouldn't have won it. :-)
:-)
Anyway, it was great to read, and a lot of effort went into it.
Great stuff!
I agree with Ice Blaster that Jericho shouldn't have won it. :-)
Looks like Jericho is a future champ. But what title will he go for?
I thought a few CAW wrestlers would be in it?
I thought a few CAW wrestlers would be in it?
Wow- my eyes hurt. Well done for writitng such a huge match dude!! Alot of time and effort went in to that so well done.
Fast paced action- very exciting to read
BUT!!
Jericho won!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:(
How can you spoil a match like that!!!!!
Fast paced action- very exciting to read
BUT!!
Jericho won!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:(
How can you spoil a match like that!!!!!
Get yourself a comfy chair, something to eat and something to drink. Take the phone off the hook and disconnect the door bell. Arre you sitting comfortably? Good, cos this is a monster…
_________________________________________
Footage is shown from Porte Malebó airport earlier in the day as Brian Adams (Scott Giles) and Brian Clarke (Scott Giles) are turned away from entering the country due to passport irregularities.
Backstage Mr. Perfect (Shaneo) and Stevie Richards (Shaneo) are having coffee and a chat when the are approached by a breathless Cong Man.
CM: “Listen guys, get suited up, because you’re in the rumble, OK?”
SR: “Cool”
MP: “Nah, that’s not cool, Stevie...that’s just Perfect!”
___________________________________________
Much cheering from around the arena, as the fans show their appreciation for what has already proven to be an absolutely phenomenal event! Howard Finkel takes to the microphone “ Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for The Rumble in The Jungle over-the top-rope battle royale match!” Absolutely frantic cheering. “The forty competitors into this match have each drawn a number from one to forty, shortly the competitors who drew numbers one and two will enter the ring. They will be joined in a further two minutes by the competitor who drew number three and so on until all combatants have entered the ring. Elimination is achieved by throwing a competitor over the top rope to the floor. Both of the competitors feet must touch the floor in order for them to be eliminated. The winner is the last man left in the ring!” Howard Finkel exits the ring as we await our first competitor.
A low beat fills the arena, thud, thud thud thud,,, but this soon makes way to a faster Drum beat as Steve Blackman(Ant) makes his way to the ring, tough break drawing number one! Looks like the lethal weapon has come prepared though as he has a bag with him! Blackman slides into the ring under the ropes and opens up the bag revealing a kendo stick! Blackman stands facing the ramp and motions toward the back, daring his opponent to come to the ring!
Suddenly the arena is filled with coloured lights and a slightly strange sounding music as the sneering Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow) emerges from beneath the titan-tron and runs down to the ring. He slides in under the ropes ‘THWACK!’ and is met by a stinging shot from Blackman with that kendo stick! ‘THWACK!’ and another one for good measure! Remember, this is all legal as there are no DQs in this match! Blackman drags The Laughing Man back to his feet and positions his Kendo stick between Morrus’ legs before hoisting him up and slamming him back to the canvas, driving that Kendo stick where the sun don’t even think about shining in the process! Blackman follows up with a scything leg drop! As Hugh Morrus lies motionless on the canvas Steve Blackman goes back to his bag and retrieves a smaller pair of sticks, which he proceeds to impressively fling around his body for a couple of seconds before declaring “IT’S PARTY TIME!” By now The Laughing Man has had time to get to his feet, but he is met by a series of lightning quick blows from the lethal weapon and his sticks!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! There goes the buzzer, as our two minutes is up! A loud screeching piece of guitar music makes all our ears hurt as New York’s least favouroite son, Justin Credible (Rickoss) makes his way down to the ring, with Singapore Cane in hand!!! He stole that modified Kendo stick from the Sandman in his ECW days , I guess he figures he needs it against Blackman! Credible quickly enters the ring and waves the stick in Blackman’s direction. Blackman drops his smaller sticks and retrieves his Kendo stick! ‘THWACK!’ Credible to Blackman, the lethal weapon barely flinched! ‘THWACK!’ Credible staggers backwards as Blackman takes his turn! ‘THWACK’ Credible turns and gives Blackman some of his own medicine! ‘THWACk, THWACK THWACK!’ A trio of lighning fast Kendo stick shots from Blackman! ‘THWACK!’ LOW BLOW!!! Credible realised he wasn’t going to win a duel of canes with Blackman and hit him in the crotch with his cane instead!
BZZZTTTT!!! Ooh that’s the buzzer again as two minutes pass in the blink of an eye! ‘Ding! Ding! Dong!’ it’s Ken Shamrock (The Cong Man)! We haven’t seen him for a while now, but he’s going straight after his old adversary Steve Blackman! Justin Credible and Ken Shamrock are double teaming Steve Blackman (Ant)! Ankle Lock!!! ANKLE LOCK!!! Ken Shamrock has Steve Blackman locked in the ankle lock and the lethal weapon is screaming so loudly, you can hear him two block away! THWACK!!! And just to make matters worse, Justin Credible is hitting him across the back with his Singapore Cane as well! But Hugh Morrus is up! Back drop suplex on Justin Credible!!! Morrus gets back to his feet just in time to see a vicious clothesline from Ken Shamrock hit him square on the chin and send him tumbling backwards over the ropes to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Hugh Morrus (Big Slow)
Ken Shamrock (Cong) and Justin Credible (Rickoss) immediately back Steve Blackman (Ant) into the corner and attempt to force him over the ropes! But Blackman has a firm hold on the ropes and isn’t going to let go that easily! BZZZZTTTT!!! Oh My God!!! What is that awful music?!? Anyway, here’s Chuck Palumbo(Crash)! Which means no respite for Blackman as the former RAF pilot joins in the struggle to attempt to force Blackman over the ropes! Blackman swings a few chops and manages to extricate himself from that corner! Blackman looks down and finds that his Kendo stick is right next to him, THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! Blackman’s Kendo stick is broken as it crashes on to the heads of Credible, Palumbo and Shamrock who all tumble to the mat! Chuck Palumbo is first to his feet but gets met by a martial arts kick from Blackman! The Lethal Weapon is cleaning house! Justin Credible gets back to his feet only to get knocked down by another shot with the Kendo stick, Justin is busted wide open! But wait! Ken Shamrock grabs Blackman’s leg and pulls him down into a modified cross-leg breaker! Again you can hear Blackman scream in pain, as Shamrock is really doing a number on the leg of Blackman!
BZZZTTTT!!! “Caw, caw caaaaw” It’s Raven (Starlight)!!! Raven is our next competitor and he’s coming to the ring with a shopping cart loaded with plunder! Raven pulls a trash-can out of the trolley which has amongst other things in it, what looks like the remnants of a houseplant, a broom, a computer keyboard and some road signs! The bin is thrown into the ring and here comes Raven! Justin Credible is met by a trash-can lid to the head! Chuck Palumbo is next as Raven grabs another trash-can lid and gives Chucky a Trash-Can-chaito around the head! Palumbo collapses forward. Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackman fall victim to shots with a stop-sign as Raven is indiscriminate about who he is taking down! Raven turns and is digging deep into that trash-can and he’s pulled out a fire extinguisher! He points it at Justin Credible who is down on his knees! Justin Credible pleads with Raven not to set the fire extinguisher off in his face! WHACK!!! Steve Blackman was up and just kicked that fire extinguisher right back into Raven’s face!!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! The sound of a car crashing is followed by a huge pop from the capacity crowd jammed into the municipál arena as Mankind (Ice Blaster) comes out to the ring! Foley is in no rush to get to the ring as he pauses to slap hands and sign autographs for these fanatic fans! Meanwhile, back in the ring all the keys come flying off the computer keyboard as Raven clocks Justin Credible full on in the face with it and Ken Shamrock has Chuck Palumbo in a headlock and is trying to force the remains of that houseplant into his mouth!?! “In all my years in wrestling I’ve never seen anything like that!” screams Jim Ross as Mankind finally makes his way into the ring where he is greeted by a crescent kick for Steve Blackman! Chuck Palumbo shoves Ken Shamrock forwards, breaking the headlock and sending the world most dangerous man off the ropes. As he comes back Chuck goes for a clothesline, but Shamrock stops dead and in one swift motion garbs Chucks arm and swings him hard into the ropes! Low bridge!!! Justin Credible dipped the ropes and Chucky goes tumbling to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
BZZZTTT!! Chuck Palumbo points angrily towards Justin Credible as Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese) emerges from the back, ready to take his place in this contest. Justin Credible stands on the bottom rope talking trash with Chucky who is on the outside, which proves to be a huge mistake as Mankind grabs the bottom of his leg and dumps him over the top!
ELIMINATED: Justin Credible (Rickoss)
Lance Storm jumps up on to the aprons and pulls back on the top rope before catapulting himself into the ring with a double clothesline that takes out Raven and Steve Blackman! Storm gets back to his feet but gets hit from behind by a stop sign wielded by Mankind! A slightly badly pronounced Foley chant goes around the arena! BZZZZTTTTT!!! Woah! Check out that beat, here comes the big, bad and downright ugly Viscera (AfroJoe)! Viscera waddles his way down the ramp and into the ring, where Raven meets him with a clothesline that didn’t even phase him! Viscera with a big slam on Raven! WHAM!!! Double super-kick!!! Steve Blackman and Lance Storm put their efforts together and reap the rewards as Viscera tumbles backwards over the top rope, almost leaving a crater in the arena floor on the outside!
ELIMINATED: Viscera (AfroJoe)
Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese) whips Steve Blackman (Ant) off the ropes, Storm drops down grabbing The Lethal Weapon’s leg and rolls forward coming up into a half-crab position!!! Blackman screams in pain as his already hurt leg gets stretched a bit more! CLANG!!! Trashcan lid to the head of Raven, courtesy of Mankind (Ice Blaster), no respite for Blackman though as Ken Shamrock (Cong) is quickly over and locks him in a spinning toe-hold! Raven with a stomp to Shamrock that breaks the hold though! BZZZTTTT! And here comes Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)! Another face that we haven’t seen around in a while, the7-footer will want to make the most of this opportunity to get noticed! Bull sprints down to the ring, step over the top rope and hits a scissors kick right into the face of Raven! But Bull leaves himself wide open to a huge over-head release German suplex from Ken Shamrock! He landed right on his head!
Steve Blackman is back to his feet but is struggling to walk, looks like some real damage has been done to that leg! This is getting really hard to call, so much action going on! Mankind has Raven backed into a corner and has unleashed a flurry of punches at him, carrying on until he has slumped all the way to the bottom rope! Lance Storm hits a spinning heel kick right into Ken Shamrock’s face! BZZZTTTT! “What does everybody want?” Here comes Al Snow(Rickoss)! Al Snow sprints to the ring and he has got head with him! Al is quickly into the ring and he swings head at Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe) it hits him full on and sends him flying over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
And look! Mankind and Steve Blackman have Ken Shamrock cornered and are trying to force him over the top! Shamrock clings on for dear life, but he too gets cracked over the head with a head shot from Al Snow! Shamrock loses his grip!
ELIMINATED: Ken Shamrock (The Cong Man)
Raven throws Lance Storm runs at Raven, Raven side-steps and launches him over the top rope! But Lance Storm held on! He grabbed the top rope as he went and lands on the canvas, he pulls on the rope and catapults himself back in, hitting Raven with a spinning wheel kick! BZZZZTTTTT!!! “Yo it’s me, it’s me, it’s D-D-P!!! Here comes the former WCW Champion Diamond Dallas Page (Mouldy Cheese)! Steve Blackman continues doing his best to hobble around the ring, he’s been in there a long time now! Raven has Lance Storm locked up again, suplex attempt, blocked, snap suplex! Lance Storm with a great counter!
Al Snow (Rickoss) and Mankind (Ice Blaster) are in a collar and elbow tie up! Al with the go-behind, but a big elbow from Mankind breaks it up. Mankind quickly turns around and buries a boot into Al Snow’s stomach, he pulls Al’s arms up and hits a double underhook DDT! Mankind is now going into his pants for something!!! He’s GOT SOCKO!!! Al staggers back up and gets that sweaty gym sock rammed right down his throat!! UGH!!! BZZZZZTTTTT!!!
“IF YOU SMELL-EL-EL-ELLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING” The crowd shoot to their feet as they get a glimpse of the man they have all been waiting to see! Here comes THE ROCK (Starlight)!!! Lance Storm attempts to meet the Rock as soon as he gets into the ring with a big right hand, but the Rock blocks it and fires in a couple of his own, backing Storm into the ropes. The Rock pulls his hand back, spits on it and delivers a huge smack to Storm which send him all the way over the ropes and to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
Raven tries to hit the Rock from Behind but, in one swift motion, the Rock turns, ducks and hits Raven with a Rock Bottom!!! WHACK!!! The Rocks hot streak is ended by Al Snow hitting him over the back of his head with head! Al Snow raises Head to the crowd but gets only boos in return! KIP-UP!!! The Rock shot straight back up! Al with a kick, blocked DDT!!! Kick comes in from Blackman! But The Rock caught his foot! Leg-lace takedown into a sharp-shooter! The Rock has the already injured Steve Blackman (Ant) locked in the sharp-shooter! Al Snow screams in pain!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Heeeeelloooooo Ladies”, it’s Val Venis (The Cong Man)!!! Val makes his way halfway down the ramp, before removing his towel and sprinting to the ring! Val with an elbow to the back of the Rocks head, breaking up that sharp-shooter! Raven with a huge DDT to Al Snow!!! Head goes flying out of the ring! Mankind hits a three quarter turning neck-breaker on DDP!!! Val Venis has the Rock up and sends him off the ropes, clothesline attempt, The Rock blocks, grabs Val’s arm and spins around into a DDT!!! There’s a lot of heads hitting the mat right now!!! Raven grabs Mankind and whips him into the corner, following straight in with a clothes-line, the force of which makes Mankind stagger out of the corner, Raven quickly follows up with a bulldog too!
The Rock has Steve Blackman now and whips him off the ropes, Blackman can barely run and half-runs, half-hobble back toward the Rock, as The Rock takes three steps backwards, getting himself nearer the ropes, BELLY-TO-BELLY OVERHEAD RELEASE SUPLEX!!!! And the Rock was so near the ropes Blackman cleared them and lands in a crumpled heap on the floor!!!
ELIMINATED: Steve Blackman (Ant)
BZZZTTTT!!! A HUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEE! Crowd pop as Shawn Michael’s music hits and The Heartbreak Kid himself emerges from beneath the Titan-tron. Shawn Michaels (Longy) makes his way to the ring and stands on the apron, pausing to give the crowd a quick wiggle of his hips, which causes much hysteria among the ladies, one particularly fat girl in the front row (Mystique) passes out and has to be taken away by paramedics. Michaels makes his way up to the top rope unseen by the combatants in the ring, who are all busy knocking seven bells out of each other. Val Venis turns just in time to see The Heartbreak Kid flying towards him with a cross-body! The Rock (Starlight) is sent hard into the corner by Mankind (Ice Blaster). Mankind goes to follow in but The Rock explodes out of the corner with a huge flying clothesline which knocks Mankind for a full 360° loop!
BZZZTTTT!!! Here comes Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow) and he’s coming out to his old ECW music! The fans look puzzled, they obviously never got ECW over here and have no idea who Dreamer is... Dreamer makes his way to the ring regardless. In the ring, DDP has Val Venis in position and hauls him up into a power-bomb position before spinning a couple of times and driving him into the mat! Spinning Powerbomb! Dreamer is in the ring and is going blow for blow with Raven! Here’s an old rivalry being revived! Al Snow goes to blindside DDP who has just got up from that powerbomb , but DDP sees it coming and---DIAMOND CUTTER! Al Snow isn’t moving on the mat, DDP hit that right on the money!
BZZZTTTT!!!OH MY GOD!!! That music!!! It can’t be! IT IS!!! Bret Hart (Crash)!!! A gigantic crowd pop for the WWF legend! Bret Hart slowly makes his way to the ring, he’s in no rush and why should he be? He gets to the side of the ring and narrowly avoiding Mankind who has just flown over the top rope, courtesy of the Rock using his own momentum against him!
ELIMINATED: Mankind (Ice Blaster)
Bret Hart makes his way into the ring and immediately locks eyes with The Rock (Starlight) But it’s Shawn Michaels (Longy) who knocks Bret Hart down with a drop-kick from the blindside! The Heartbreak has obviously not forgotten the feud he had all those years ago with ‘The Hitman’! Al Snow (Rickoss) connects with a crescent kick to DDP and turns in time to catch Val Venis (The Cong Man) trying to rush him. Al’s got his arms locked! Al grins as the crowd cheer and he reigns a salvo of head-butts on to Val! BZZZTTTTT!!!! Look there on the ramp! It’s the genetic freak Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)!!! Steiner makes his way into the ring pausing only to plant a kiss on each of his ‘peaks’.
Steiner is quickly into the ring and immediately hits a rolling belly-to-belly suplex on Raven (Starlight) who had tried to cut him off! Raven bounces back up and straight into a DDT from Tommy Dreamer! Dreamer talks trash to Raven, but then gets dropped right on his head due to an over head belly to belly suplex from Big Poppa Pump! Val Venis downs the Rock with a backbreaker! Val stands over the fallen people’s champ giving a quick grind before sitting down and laying some punches onto the Great one! Raven has Tommy Dreamer backed into the corner and sets him up on the top rope. Dreamer looks like he’s on dream street as Raven climbs up to join him! He’s going for a superplex! But wait Dreamer with a couple of blows to the mid section and he goes to push Raven off, but Raven pushes back and they both fall to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Raven (Starlight) and Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
BZZZTTTT!! The Rumble In The Jungle theme music ‘Da Antidote’ By The Stanton Warriors plays, as late entry Steven Richards (Shaneo) makes his way to the ring! Big Stevie Cool is one of two unannounced competitors to be taking part in this Rumble as Kronic, Brian Clarke and Brian Adams (Scott Giles) were turned away at customs! Richards enters the ring and is immediately hit by a Scott Steiner drop-kick! Incredible agility from a man that size! Tommy Dreamer and Raven continue to brawl on the floor as our team of referees desperately try to separate them!
Val Venis off the ropes, Brett Hart with a drop toe-hold! Float over by Bret into a modified head lock! DDP whips Al Snow off the ropes DDP ducks, telegraphed it! Boot to the face from Snow! But Val has Snow now, Russian leg sweep! DDP with A DDT to Val! Scott Steiner pulls Al Snow back to his feet, and GORILLA PRESS!!! Great display of strength from Scott Steiner as he walks to the ropes and nonchalantly tosses Al Snow to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Al Snow (Rickoss)
BZZZTTTT. As the referees are scraping what is left of Al Snow off the floor and helping him to the back, out comes The Bossman (MikeAll). Who meets the referees dragging Al Snow’s limp body away halfway down the ramp where he brutalises the defencless Snow with his nightstick! Snow is busted up real bad now! The Bossman is finally convinced to leave Snow alone and continues to make his way to the ring! Val Venis with a Russian Leg-Sweep to Shawn Michaels! Val goes up top---MONEY SHO...nope! Michaels moved! Val bounces right up to his feet as The Heartbreak kid is going for...hold on, Stevie is setting for his Stevie Kick and Shawn Michaels is set for the sweet chin music and WHAM!!! Val Venis takes two super-kicks to the head from opposite corners! His head just got squashed like a pancake!
BZZTTTT!!! This sold out crowd is on their feet as The Godfather (Tazz) makes his way to the ring with his usual compliment of lovely ‘escorts’! Godfather isn’t rushing to get involved in this one, preferring instead to do a little dancing with his ladies on the outside first! DDP (Mpuldy Cheese) fires a couple of straight right hands at Steven Richards (Shaneo) before finishing him off with a discus punch! Stevie slumps to the floor but the Bossman (MikeAll) clobbers DDP with his nightstic, that he brought into the ring with him! Bossman now turns his attentions to Stevie, he’s got his legs, maybe looking for a Boston crab? No Boosman falls backwards, CATAPULT! Stevie into and over the ropes!!!
ELIMINATED: Steven Richards (Shaneo)
Shawn Michaels continues to brawl with Bret Hart as Scott Steiner and the Rock trade blows. Val Venis goes toe-to-toe with DDP and The Bossman and The Godfather have paired off too! When, BZZZTTTT!!!! “Laaaatiiiino Heat” Here comes Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)! Latino Heat himself! The former European Champion makes possibly the slowest entrance of the day as he chooses to strut and preen his way down to the ring! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! Shawn Michaels just kicked DDP clean over the top rope!!!
ELIMINATED: DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
The Bossman is whipped into the corner by The Godfather who winds up to a huge crowd pop. THE HO TRAIN!!! Bossman just got squashed! Bossman staggers out of the corner and is met by a huge clothesline from the Rock! Godfather over the top, but wait he’s caught the top rope and is dangling there, he’s too big to haul himself back in though! Look at this! Eddie Guerrero has spotted Bossman’s predicament and has walked over, he prises Bossman’s fingers open one by one and the former corrections office falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: The Bossman (Mike All)
BZZZTTTTT!!!”Oh you didn’t know?” Here comes The Road Dogg (Kid Rock)!!!! “Your better call some bodyyyyyyyy” Val Venis and Bret Hart with a double clothesline which sends The Godfather to the floor!
ELIMINATED: The Godfather (Tazz)
Road Dogg straight into the action as he fires in a pair of right hands on Eddie Guererro before doing a little shimmy and a huge right hand knocks Guerrero to the mat! Shawn Michaels gets hit with a back-drop suplex, perfectly executed or course by Bret Hart! Scott Steiner has The Rock on the mat and he’s locked in The Steiner Recliner!!! Rocky is screaming in pain!
BZZZZZTTTTT!!! The sound of smashing glass brings the audience to it’s feet as Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock) makes his way into the ring. “ Business is about to pick up” Says Kamala in very clipped English, the first words he’s said from the commentary position to make sense all day! Stone Cold is quickly into the ring, where he Val Venis (Cong Man) tries to rush him, The Texas Rattlesnake steps to one side though and gives Val a push sending his straight over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Val Venis (The Cong Man)
The Rock lays a couple of punches on to the Road Dogg, before iminting his shimmy, drawing his hand back, spitting on it and slapping The D-O- double G straight over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
Scott Steiner has Eddie Guerrero up in a body slam position, but instead of slamming him, he dumps him to the floor! The bodies are really starting to tumble out of that ring now!
ELIMINATED: Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
BZZZTTTT!!! Here comes former WWF commissioner William Regal and---LOOK AT HIS HAND!!! He’s brought those brass knucks with him! Still Regal doesn’t look to keen to get into this one and stands on the outside remonstrating with the referees rather than getting into the ring! Stone Cold with the Irish-Whip to Scott Steiner, Lou Thesz press! And a salvo of punches to the one time Steiner Brother’s head for good measure! Regal finally gets into the ring and is pounced upon by Bret Hart, right hands from The Hitman, Regal with a block, forearm to The Hitman which backs him into the ropes! REGAL USED THE KNUCKS!!! Straight into Bret Hart’s face and he tumbles over the top and to the floor where he lays unconscious!
ELIMINATED: Bret Hart (Crash)
The fans boo Regal loudly for that action, but the boos turn to cheers as Regal turns back to the action and is immediately caught in The Rock’s PIE-BUSTER!!! Into the sharp-shooter! Huge crowd pop! Looks like the knucks went flying out of the ring as well! BZZZTTTT!!!
Here comes long-serving veteran of the mat wars Faarooq (Longy)! The APA member, in stark contrast to Regal, wastes no time running into the ring! Shawn Michaels goes to cut him off but gets whipped into the ropes for his trouble and as he comes back Faarooq drills him with a vicious standing spine-buster! Austin, meanwhile is being whipped off the other ropes and is met by a Steiner-line from Big Poppa Pump, who pauses to kiss his bulging bicep before dropping an elbow on Austin! Steiner makes the cover---1---2---3---4---5—6—7---8, well he can lie on Austin all day, the big dumb SOB has forgotten the only way to eliminate your opponent is over the ropes!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Here come the money!” It’s Shane McMahon (Cong Man)! And look! He’s got Paul Heyman with him! What on earth?!? They’re bringing a table to the ring with them! Shane O’Mac dances about a bit at the top of the ramp before making his way down to the ring. William Regal continues to got toe-to-toe with the Rock, stunning him with a pair of forearms, he goes for a third and it connects. Regal sends Rock off the ropes, as he comes back he goes for a clothesline Rock ducks and whips Regal off the ropes! Regal comes back, Rocky sidesteps and accelerates Regal straight over the top! No wait! He caught himself, but his grip fades and Regal falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: William Regal (Grandprix)
Shane O’Mac is now in the ring and Paul Heyman has set that table up on the outside! Scott Steiner lifts Faarooq for an atomic drop, but manages to atagger forward and dumps him over the ropes instead!
ELIMINATED Faarooq (Longy)
Shawn Michael continues to tangle with The Rock, right hand from HBK, blocked the Rock lays the smack down on Michaels Candy-! Sending him over the ropes but Michaels held on and lands on the apron, a huge ‘ooooohhhhh’ goes up from the fans! Michaels turns and gives them a grind of the hips, but in doing so doesn’t see the Texas Rattlesnake whipped off the ropes straight into Michaels! He falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Shawn Michaels (Longy)
BZZZTTTTT!!! Here comes Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese) and is it just me, or does the big man look even more annoyed than usual?!? Perhaps angry at the lack of TV time he’s had lately! Awesome wastes no time getting to the apron and uses the ropes to catapult himself into the ring taking out The Rock and Scott Steiner as he does so with a double clothesline! Stone Cold is felled by a big boot from the big Awesome who now goes after Shane McMahon! The Boy Wonder is whipped into the corner, AWESOME SPLASH! Shane McMAhon staggers out of the corner doubled up and Awesome quickly shoves him into position for a powerbomb! Awesome has him up, but look at this!!! Awesome runs the length of the ring before launching Shane O’Mac over the top rope and straight through the table that he brought to ringside himself! RUNNING AWESOME BOMB TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH A TABLE!!! OUCH!!!
ELIMINATED: Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
BZZZTTTT!!! The strange sounds of the Jungle fills the arena as the enormous afro of Haku (Crash) looms menacingly into sight! Meanwhile, back in the ring Stone Cold and the Rock have over-powered Awesome and are attempting to force him over the ropes! But Awesome hangs on and manages to break free with a pair of head-butts! Scott Stiener immediately goes after Haku, but a pair of shots to the Tongan monster’s head has no effect! Haku fires back with a big headbutt! Steiner wobbles but doesn’t go down! Haku whips him hard into the corner and follows in with a pair of chops that echo all the way through this arena. STEINER WITH A KNEE TO THE GROIN! Steiner uses the low blow to his advantage and rams Haku’s head a couple of times into the top turnbuckle! This doesn’t even register though and Haku bangs his own head on the turnbuckle a couple more times just for good measure! Another headbutt form Haku leaves Steiner on his back!
BZZTTTT!!! A cheesy piece of guitar music plays and Jeff Jarrett makes his way out, complete with guitar! Jarrett gets to the ring but finds Haku waiting for him and so Double J thinks twice about getting into the ring! The referees are trying to convince Jarrett to get into the ring! Haku is keaning through the ropes eager to get his hands on Jarrett, Jarrett takes a step back AND SMASHES THAT GUITAR RIGHT OVER HAKU’S HEAD!!! BUT WAIT!!! Haku rears up and looks happy about it! He wants more!!! But Awesome blindsides Haku! A running elbow to the back of the monster’s head sends him over the rope and Jarrett scurrying round to the other side of the ring! The referees have to step in to prevent Haku getting back in the ring!
ELIMINATED: Haku (Crash)
BZZTTTT!!! Oh my! It’s the man-beast Rhyno (Jetster)! Rhyno paises on the ramp, only to adjust his wrist taping before sprinting to the ring! The Rock with a rock-bottom to Jeff Jarrett, who only just got into the ring! Rhyno is set in the corner signalling for him to get up and as The Rock turns back to the action Rhyno gores him clean over the top rope! GORE! GORE! GORE! WOAH!!! That was some impact!
ELIMINATED: The Rock (Starlight)
Mike Awesome is reinging the blows in on Austin, but STUNNER!! Out of nowhere Austin just stunned Awesome! Rhyno runs at Scott Steiner who is stood in the middle of the ring. Rhyno picks Steiner up as he goes and keeps running giving a little push as he reaches the rope and sending the genetic freak to the floor! Rhyno is on a roll!!!
ELIMINATED: Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
BZZZZTTTT!! The APA’s music hits for the second time tonight as Bradshaw (Kid Rock) makes his way out to take his place in this huge match-up! Stone Cold and Jeff Jarrett are tading blows and the Texas Rattlesnake comes off better sending Jarrett into the corner! Austin follows in astomps a mudhole in Double J and walking it dry as the fans shout “Que?” Mike Awesome and Rhyno are absolutely laying into each other at the same time, right in the centre of the ring! Bradshaw strides hos way over the top rope and immediately makes a bee-line for Rhyno, helping Awesome send him to the mat where the big Texan jumps on top and lands some big soup bowl-like right hands on the man-beast!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Test, Test, This is a Test.” And here indeed, as the music informed us is Test (Longy)! Test walks down the ramp oozing arrogance like only a man who has immunity from being fired can do! Test has his sights on Bradshaw and nails him from behind as he was too busy stomping the life out of Rhyno. Jeff Jarrett looks in abd way from the beating Austin has goiven him and is lying in the corner, arms and legs wrapped around the bottom rope, determined that no-one will even get close to eliminating him!
BZZZTTTT!! Stanton Warrior’s ‘Da Antidote’ blares through the cheap PA system in the Municipál arena once again, denoting the arrival of a wrestler so low key that he doesn’t even have his own entry music any more, Chaz (Big_Slow). Chaz sprints to the ring and charges straight at Austin determined to make a name for himself. Austin is too busy punching the life out of Rhyno to see him coming, but wait! Austins last punch on Rhyno caused the Rattlesnake to move forwards and Chaz misses! Straight into and over the ropes! Erm, well now, that wasn’t very clever was it?
ELIMINATED: Chaz (Big_Slow)
BZZZTTTT!!! As Chaz curses what he considers his own bad luck and the rest of us consider his stupidity, the fans rises to their feet and salute the WWF’s own superhero The Hurricane (Crash)! Hurricane sprints to the ring and plants a boot in to Srone Cold’s stomach. Helms follows up by wrapping his hand around Austin’s throat. CHOKE---erm, nope, he can’t get him up. STUNNER!!! Out of nowhere Austin just stunned Helms! Jeff Jarrett, who has finally ventured out from the ropes, gets whipped into the corner by Rhyno. RHYNO CHARGES---AND--GOR--NO!!! Jarrett moved, but WHAM!!! CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Jarrett dodged one bullet but Bradshaw found the mark with that shot! GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno explodes out of the corner and nails Bradshaw!
BZZZTTTT!!! The screen counts down the arrival of Chris Jericho (Scott Giles), who struts to the ring with all his usual swagger. Before Y2J has even had chance to get to the ring though, The Hurricane is heading in the opposite direction courtesy of being stood too close to the ropes as Test hit him with a huge big boot.
ELIMINATED: The Hurricane (Crash)
Jericho is now in the ring and preys on the easy picking of the absolutely exhausted Jeff Jarrett who staggers straight into a double underhook back-breaker from Jericho. Stone Cold runs to attack Jericho though and gets in a couple of big right hands before whipping Jericho off the ropes LOU THESZ PRE---NO! Jericho blocked it and has Austin’s feet he’s going for THE WALLS OF JERI---NOPE!!! Jericho falls backwards instead and catapults Austin! AUSTIN OVER THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR!!!
ELIMINATED: Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
BZZTTTT!!! Here comes Albert (Jetster) now, dancing his way out to the ring to Scotty 2 Hotty’s music! Mike Awesome has his huge frame up on the top rope and he has Test and Bradshaw both down on the mat to aim for. AWESOME SPLASH!!! He got ‘em both cos he’s so damn big!!! Jeff Jarrett whipped into the corner by Albert who hits him with a corner splash! Jericho mops up whats left by Drop-kicking Double J in the back, the exhausted Jarrett tumbles to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
B-ZZ-T-T!!! The buzzer is beginning to sound a bit knackered as the Japanese Buzzsaw, Tajiri (Starlight) makes his way out to the ring. Tajiri instantly makes his presence felt by nailing Chris Jericho woith a trio of stiff kicks to the head. Jericho sinks to his knees and Tajiri lines up a knock-out blow, but Mike Awesome is creeping up behind him BACK KICK!!! Tajiri must have a sixth sense to know Awesome was behind him! The big man is caught off guard and flies over the rope landing with a sickening thud on the floor
EIMINATED: Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
B-----Z-----T!!! We barely hear the tiring buzzer now, but we hear Kurt Angle (Grandprix)’s music as it seems the Olympian secured himself a plum draw in this one! Kurt stands on the ramp signalling his own pyro as the real fireworks are happening in the ring! Bradshaw just uncharacteristically went up top, but Benoit kicked the ropes and the big Texan has fallen to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
B------T!!! As the buzzer dies out on us the last entry makes his way into the ring and he’s drawn the ‘perfect’ entry! It’s our other late entrant, Mr. Perfect (Shaneo)! Albert whips Tajiri into the corenr and goes to follow in with a charge, but Tajiri is quickly onto the top rope and has a tarantula locked in! But look at Kurt Angle, off the ropes, baseball slide drop kick, under Albert and the ropes to the head of Tajiri, Tajiri’s hold on Albert slips and he just fell right onto his head on the outside! His feet soon follow.
ELIMINATED: Tajiri (Starlight)
Test and Rhyno with a double clothesline to Albert who almost, but not quite, manages to hang on to the ropes. A comfortable upright landing is no consolation to the hip-hop hippo!
ELIMINATED: Albert (Jetster)
Rhyno’s part in the double clothesline left him open from behind though and it’s Mr. Perfect with a simple push over the ropes to finally eliminate the Man-Beast!
ELIMINATED: Rhyno (Jetster)
As Mr. Perfect turns back to the ring though, he finds Test who nails him with a huge pair of forearm shots! Kurt Angle with a waist-lock on Jericho which soon becomes a very painful looking overhead-release German Suplex! Jericho got folded up like an accordion right there! Test continues to beat down on Mr. Perfect who is getting beaten like a government mule out there! Mr. Perfect is a wily ring veteran though and with a quick tug of Test’s leather pants sends Mr. Immunity’s head crashing into the turnbuckle!
Chris Jericho with a snap suplex on Kurt Angle. Mr. Perfect with a front-face lock on Test. Test pushes perfect off and into the ropes, BIG BOOT!!! Perfect crashes to the floor right out in front of our announcer table!
ELIMINATED: Mr. Perfect (Shaneo)
Kurt Angle staggers back to his feet as Jericho looks at Test and Test looks back, they charge the Olympian, double clothesline over the ropes!!! He’s gone!!!
ELIMINATED: Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
Jericho wastes no time and immediately bounces off the ropes next to him SPRINGBOARD DROP-KI---!!!NO!!! Test caught him and dumps him over the ropes. Test turns to celebrate and doesn’t see Jericho desperately hanging on!!! Jericho struggles and finally gets a foot on the apron. He pulls back on the ropes, catapulting himself onto the top rope, spring board spinning kick the length of the ring, into the back of Test!!! Test over the top!!! Jericho has won!!!
ElIMINATED: Test (Longy)
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble mathc and a title shot of his pleasing at the next WWF Forum Pay-per-view….CHRIS JERICHO (Scott Giles)
RESULTS SUMMARY
ORDER OF ENTRY
1. Steve Blackman (Ant)
2. Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow)
3. Justin Credible (Rickoss)
4. Ken Shamrock (The_Cong_Man)
5. Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
6. Raven (Starlight)
7. Mankind (Ice Blaster)
8. Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
9. Viscera (AfroJoe)
10. Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
11. Al Snow (Rickoss)
12. DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
13. The Rock (Starlight)
14. Val Venis (The Cong Man)
15. Shawn Michaels (Longy)
16. Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
17. Bret Hart (Crash)
18. Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
19. Brian Clark (Scott Giles) WITHDRAWN Replaced by Stevie Richards
20. The Bossman (MikeAll)
21. The Godfather (Tazz)
22. Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
23. Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
24. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
25. William Regal (Grandprix)
26. Faarooq (Longy)
27. Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
28. Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
29. Haku (Crash)
30. Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
31. Rhyno (Jetster)
32. Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
33. Test (Longy)
34. Chaz (Big_Slow)
35. The Hurricane (Crash)
36. Chris Jericho (Scott Giles)
37. Albert (Jetster)
38. Tajiri (Starlight)
39. Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
40. Brian Adams (Scott Giles) WITHDRAWN Replaced by Mr.Perfect (Shaneo)
RESULTS SUMMARY
ORDER OF ELIMINATION (Places gained)
1. Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow)
2. Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
3. Justin Credible (Rickoss)
4. Viscera (AfroJoe)
5. Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
6. Ken Shamrock (The_Cong_Man)
7. Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
8. Steve Blackman (Ant)
9. Mankind (Ice Blaster)
10=. Raven (Starlight)
10=. Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
12. Al Snow (Rickoss)
13. Stevie Richards (Shaneo)
14. DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
15. The Bossman (MikeAll)
16. The Godfather (Tazz)
17. Val Venis (The Cong Man)
18. Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
19. Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
20. Bret Hart (Crash)
21. William Regal (Grandprix)
22. Faarooq (Longy)
23. Shawn Michaels (Longy)
24. Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
25. Haku (Crash)
26. The Rock (Starlight)
27. Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
28. Chaz (Big_Slow)
29. The Hurricane (Crash)
30. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
31. Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
32. Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
33. Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
34. Tajiri (Starlight)
35. Albert (Jetster)
36. Rhyno (Jetster)
37. Mr.Perfect (Shaneo)
38. Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
39. Test (Longy)
WINNER!!! Chris Jericho (Scott Giles)
Congratulations, to well, erm me, for being able to write all that :P Thanks to anyone who is till reading ;)
_________________________________________
Footage is shown from Porte Malebó airport earlier in the day as Brian Adams (Scott Giles) and Brian Clarke (Scott Giles) are turned away from entering the country due to passport irregularities.
Backstage Mr. Perfect (Shaneo) and Stevie Richards (Shaneo) are having coffee and a chat when the are approached by a breathless Cong Man.
CM: “Listen guys, get suited up, because you’re in the rumble, OK?”
SR: “Cool”
MP: “Nah, that’s not cool, Stevie...that’s just Perfect!”
___________________________________________
Much cheering from around the arena, as the fans show their appreciation for what has already proven to be an absolutely phenomenal event! Howard Finkel takes to the microphone “ Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for The Rumble in The Jungle over-the top-rope battle royale match!” Absolutely frantic cheering. “The forty competitors into this match have each drawn a number from one to forty, shortly the competitors who drew numbers one and two will enter the ring. They will be joined in a further two minutes by the competitor who drew number three and so on until all combatants have entered the ring. Elimination is achieved by throwing a competitor over the top rope to the floor. Both of the competitors feet must touch the floor in order for them to be eliminated. The winner is the last man left in the ring!” Howard Finkel exits the ring as we await our first competitor.
A low beat fills the arena, thud, thud thud thud,,, but this soon makes way to a faster Drum beat as Steve Blackman(Ant) makes his way to the ring, tough break drawing number one! Looks like the lethal weapon has come prepared though as he has a bag with him! Blackman slides into the ring under the ropes and opens up the bag revealing a kendo stick! Blackman stands facing the ramp and motions toward the back, daring his opponent to come to the ring!
Suddenly the arena is filled with coloured lights and a slightly strange sounding music as the sneering Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow) emerges from beneath the titan-tron and runs down to the ring. He slides in under the ropes ‘THWACK!’ and is met by a stinging shot from Blackman with that kendo stick! ‘THWACK!’ and another one for good measure! Remember, this is all legal as there are no DQs in this match! Blackman drags The Laughing Man back to his feet and positions his Kendo stick between Morrus’ legs before hoisting him up and slamming him back to the canvas, driving that Kendo stick where the sun don’t even think about shining in the process! Blackman follows up with a scything leg drop! As Hugh Morrus lies motionless on the canvas Steve Blackman goes back to his bag and retrieves a smaller pair of sticks, which he proceeds to impressively fling around his body for a couple of seconds before declaring “IT’S PARTY TIME!” By now The Laughing Man has had time to get to his feet, but he is met by a series of lightning quick blows from the lethal weapon and his sticks!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! There goes the buzzer, as our two minutes is up! A loud screeching piece of guitar music makes all our ears hurt as New York’s least favouroite son, Justin Credible (Rickoss) makes his way down to the ring, with Singapore Cane in hand!!! He stole that modified Kendo stick from the Sandman in his ECW days , I guess he figures he needs it against Blackman! Credible quickly enters the ring and waves the stick in Blackman’s direction. Blackman drops his smaller sticks and retrieves his Kendo stick! ‘THWACK!’ Credible to Blackman, the lethal weapon barely flinched! ‘THWACK!’ Credible staggers backwards as Blackman takes his turn! ‘THWACK’ Credible turns and gives Blackman some of his own medicine! ‘THWACk, THWACK THWACK!’ A trio of lighning fast Kendo stick shots from Blackman! ‘THWACK!’ LOW BLOW!!! Credible realised he wasn’t going to win a duel of canes with Blackman and hit him in the crotch with his cane instead!
BZZZTTTT!!! Ooh that’s the buzzer again as two minutes pass in the blink of an eye! ‘Ding! Ding! Dong!’ it’s Ken Shamrock (The Cong Man)! We haven’t seen him for a while now, but he’s going straight after his old adversary Steve Blackman! Justin Credible and Ken Shamrock are double teaming Steve Blackman (Ant)! Ankle Lock!!! ANKLE LOCK!!! Ken Shamrock has Steve Blackman locked in the ankle lock and the lethal weapon is screaming so loudly, you can hear him two block away! THWACK!!! And just to make matters worse, Justin Credible is hitting him across the back with his Singapore Cane as well! But Hugh Morrus is up! Back drop suplex on Justin Credible!!! Morrus gets back to his feet just in time to see a vicious clothesline from Ken Shamrock hit him square on the chin and send him tumbling backwards over the ropes to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Hugh Morrus (Big Slow)
Ken Shamrock (Cong) and Justin Credible (Rickoss) immediately back Steve Blackman (Ant) into the corner and attempt to force him over the ropes! But Blackman has a firm hold on the ropes and isn’t going to let go that easily! BZZZZTTTT!!! Oh My God!!! What is that awful music?!? Anyway, here’s Chuck Palumbo(Crash)! Which means no respite for Blackman as the former RAF pilot joins in the struggle to attempt to force Blackman over the ropes! Blackman swings a few chops and manages to extricate himself from that corner! Blackman looks down and finds that his Kendo stick is right next to him, THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! Blackman’s Kendo stick is broken as it crashes on to the heads of Credible, Palumbo and Shamrock who all tumble to the mat! Chuck Palumbo is first to his feet but gets met by a martial arts kick from Blackman! The Lethal Weapon is cleaning house! Justin Credible gets back to his feet only to get knocked down by another shot with the Kendo stick, Justin is busted wide open! But wait! Ken Shamrock grabs Blackman’s leg and pulls him down into a modified cross-leg breaker! Again you can hear Blackman scream in pain, as Shamrock is really doing a number on the leg of Blackman!
BZZZTTTT!!! “Caw, caw caaaaw” It’s Raven (Starlight)!!! Raven is our next competitor and he’s coming to the ring with a shopping cart loaded with plunder! Raven pulls a trash-can out of the trolley which has amongst other things in it, what looks like the remnants of a houseplant, a broom, a computer keyboard and some road signs! The bin is thrown into the ring and here comes Raven! Justin Credible is met by a trash-can lid to the head! Chuck Palumbo is next as Raven grabs another trash-can lid and gives Chucky a Trash-Can-chaito around the head! Palumbo collapses forward. Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackman fall victim to shots with a stop-sign as Raven is indiscriminate about who he is taking down! Raven turns and is digging deep into that trash-can and he’s pulled out a fire extinguisher! He points it at Justin Credible who is down on his knees! Justin Credible pleads with Raven not to set the fire extinguisher off in his face! WHACK!!! Steve Blackman was up and just kicked that fire extinguisher right back into Raven’s face!!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! The sound of a car crashing is followed by a huge pop from the capacity crowd jammed into the municipál arena as Mankind (Ice Blaster) comes out to the ring! Foley is in no rush to get to the ring as he pauses to slap hands and sign autographs for these fanatic fans! Meanwhile, back in the ring all the keys come flying off the computer keyboard as Raven clocks Justin Credible full on in the face with it and Ken Shamrock has Chuck Palumbo in a headlock and is trying to force the remains of that houseplant into his mouth!?! “In all my years in wrestling I’ve never seen anything like that!” screams Jim Ross as Mankind finally makes his way into the ring where he is greeted by a crescent kick for Steve Blackman! Chuck Palumbo shoves Ken Shamrock forwards, breaking the headlock and sending the world most dangerous man off the ropes. As he comes back Chuck goes for a clothesline, but Shamrock stops dead and in one swift motion garbs Chucks arm and swings him hard into the ropes! Low bridge!!! Justin Credible dipped the ropes and Chucky goes tumbling to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
BZZZTTT!! Chuck Palumbo points angrily towards Justin Credible as Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese) emerges from the back, ready to take his place in this contest. Justin Credible stands on the bottom rope talking trash with Chucky who is on the outside, which proves to be a huge mistake as Mankind grabs the bottom of his leg and dumps him over the top!
ELIMINATED: Justin Credible (Rickoss)
Lance Storm jumps up on to the aprons and pulls back on the top rope before catapulting himself into the ring with a double clothesline that takes out Raven and Steve Blackman! Storm gets back to his feet but gets hit from behind by a stop sign wielded by Mankind! A slightly badly pronounced Foley chant goes around the arena! BZZZZTTTTT!!! Woah! Check out that beat, here comes the big, bad and downright ugly Viscera (AfroJoe)! Viscera waddles his way down the ramp and into the ring, where Raven meets him with a clothesline that didn’t even phase him! Viscera with a big slam on Raven! WHAM!!! Double super-kick!!! Steve Blackman and Lance Storm put their efforts together and reap the rewards as Viscera tumbles backwards over the top rope, almost leaving a crater in the arena floor on the outside!
ELIMINATED: Viscera (AfroJoe)
Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese) whips Steve Blackman (Ant) off the ropes, Storm drops down grabbing The Lethal Weapon’s leg and rolls forward coming up into a half-crab position!!! Blackman screams in pain as his already hurt leg gets stretched a bit more! CLANG!!! Trashcan lid to the head of Raven, courtesy of Mankind (Ice Blaster), no respite for Blackman though as Ken Shamrock (Cong) is quickly over and locks him in a spinning toe-hold! Raven with a stomp to Shamrock that breaks the hold though! BZZZTTTT! And here comes Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)! Another face that we haven’t seen around in a while, the7-footer will want to make the most of this opportunity to get noticed! Bull sprints down to the ring, step over the top rope and hits a scissors kick right into the face of Raven! But Bull leaves himself wide open to a huge over-head release German suplex from Ken Shamrock! He landed right on his head!
Steve Blackman is back to his feet but is struggling to walk, looks like some real damage has been done to that leg! This is getting really hard to call, so much action going on! Mankind has Raven backed into a corner and has unleashed a flurry of punches at him, carrying on until he has slumped all the way to the bottom rope! Lance Storm hits a spinning heel kick right into Ken Shamrock’s face! BZZZTTTT! “What does everybody want?” Here comes Al Snow(Rickoss)! Al Snow sprints to the ring and he has got head with him! Al is quickly into the ring and he swings head at Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe) it hits him full on and sends him flying over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
And look! Mankind and Steve Blackman have Ken Shamrock cornered and are trying to force him over the top! Shamrock clings on for dear life, but he too gets cracked over the head with a head shot from Al Snow! Shamrock loses his grip!
ELIMINATED: Ken Shamrock (The Cong Man)
Raven throws Lance Storm runs at Raven, Raven side-steps and launches him over the top rope! But Lance Storm held on! He grabbed the top rope as he went and lands on the canvas, he pulls on the rope and catapults himself back in, hitting Raven with a spinning wheel kick! BZZZZTTTTT!!! “Yo it’s me, it’s me, it’s D-D-P!!! Here comes the former WCW Champion Diamond Dallas Page (Mouldy Cheese)! Steve Blackman continues doing his best to hobble around the ring, he’s been in there a long time now! Raven has Lance Storm locked up again, suplex attempt, blocked, snap suplex! Lance Storm with a great counter!
Al Snow (Rickoss) and Mankind (Ice Blaster) are in a collar and elbow tie up! Al with the go-behind, but a big elbow from Mankind breaks it up. Mankind quickly turns around and buries a boot into Al Snow’s stomach, he pulls Al’s arms up and hits a double underhook DDT! Mankind is now going into his pants for something!!! He’s GOT SOCKO!!! Al staggers back up and gets that sweaty gym sock rammed right down his throat!! UGH!!! BZZZZZTTTTT!!!
“IF YOU SMELL-EL-EL-ELLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING” The crowd shoot to their feet as they get a glimpse of the man they have all been waiting to see! Here comes THE ROCK (Starlight)!!! Lance Storm attempts to meet the Rock as soon as he gets into the ring with a big right hand, but the Rock blocks it and fires in a couple of his own, backing Storm into the ropes. The Rock pulls his hand back, spits on it and delivers a huge smack to Storm which send him all the way over the ropes and to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
Raven tries to hit the Rock from Behind but, in one swift motion, the Rock turns, ducks and hits Raven with a Rock Bottom!!! WHACK!!! The Rocks hot streak is ended by Al Snow hitting him over the back of his head with head! Al Snow raises Head to the crowd but gets only boos in return! KIP-UP!!! The Rock shot straight back up! Al with a kick, blocked DDT!!! Kick comes in from Blackman! But The Rock caught his foot! Leg-lace takedown into a sharp-shooter! The Rock has the already injured Steve Blackman (Ant) locked in the sharp-shooter! Al Snow screams in pain!!!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Heeeeelloooooo Ladies”, it’s Val Venis (The Cong Man)!!! Val makes his way halfway down the ramp, before removing his towel and sprinting to the ring! Val with an elbow to the back of the Rocks head, breaking up that sharp-shooter! Raven with a huge DDT to Al Snow!!! Head goes flying out of the ring! Mankind hits a three quarter turning neck-breaker on DDP!!! Val Venis has the Rock up and sends him off the ropes, clothesline attempt, The Rock blocks, grabs Val’s arm and spins around into a DDT!!! There’s a lot of heads hitting the mat right now!!! Raven grabs Mankind and whips him into the corner, following straight in with a clothes-line, the force of which makes Mankind stagger out of the corner, Raven quickly follows up with a bulldog too!
The Rock has Steve Blackman now and whips him off the ropes, Blackman can barely run and half-runs, half-hobble back toward the Rock, as The Rock takes three steps backwards, getting himself nearer the ropes, BELLY-TO-BELLY OVERHEAD RELEASE SUPLEX!!!! And the Rock was so near the ropes Blackman cleared them and lands in a crumpled heap on the floor!!!
ELIMINATED: Steve Blackman (Ant)
BZZZTTTT!!! A HUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEE! Crowd pop as Shawn Michael’s music hits and The Heartbreak Kid himself emerges from beneath the Titan-tron. Shawn Michaels (Longy) makes his way to the ring and stands on the apron, pausing to give the crowd a quick wiggle of his hips, which causes much hysteria among the ladies, one particularly fat girl in the front row (Mystique) passes out and has to be taken away by paramedics. Michaels makes his way up to the top rope unseen by the combatants in the ring, who are all busy knocking seven bells out of each other. Val Venis turns just in time to see The Heartbreak Kid flying towards him with a cross-body! The Rock (Starlight) is sent hard into the corner by Mankind (Ice Blaster). Mankind goes to follow in but The Rock explodes out of the corner with a huge flying clothesline which knocks Mankind for a full 360° loop!
BZZZTTTT!!! Here comes Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow) and he’s coming out to his old ECW music! The fans look puzzled, they obviously never got ECW over here and have no idea who Dreamer is... Dreamer makes his way to the ring regardless. In the ring, DDP has Val Venis in position and hauls him up into a power-bomb position before spinning a couple of times and driving him into the mat! Spinning Powerbomb! Dreamer is in the ring and is going blow for blow with Raven! Here’s an old rivalry being revived! Al Snow goes to blindside DDP who has just got up from that powerbomb , but DDP sees it coming and---DIAMOND CUTTER! Al Snow isn’t moving on the mat, DDP hit that right on the money!
BZZZTTTT!!!OH MY GOD!!! That music!!! It can’t be! IT IS!!! Bret Hart (Crash)!!! A gigantic crowd pop for the WWF legend! Bret Hart slowly makes his way to the ring, he’s in no rush and why should he be? He gets to the side of the ring and narrowly avoiding Mankind who has just flown over the top rope, courtesy of the Rock using his own momentum against him!
ELIMINATED: Mankind (Ice Blaster)
Bret Hart makes his way into the ring and immediately locks eyes with The Rock (Starlight) But it’s Shawn Michaels (Longy) who knocks Bret Hart down with a drop-kick from the blindside! The Heartbreak has obviously not forgotten the feud he had all those years ago with ‘The Hitman’! Al Snow (Rickoss) connects with a crescent kick to DDP and turns in time to catch Val Venis (The Cong Man) trying to rush him. Al’s got his arms locked! Al grins as the crowd cheer and he reigns a salvo of head-butts on to Val! BZZZTTTTT!!!! Look there on the ramp! It’s the genetic freak Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)!!! Steiner makes his way into the ring pausing only to plant a kiss on each of his ‘peaks’.
Steiner is quickly into the ring and immediately hits a rolling belly-to-belly suplex on Raven (Starlight) who had tried to cut him off! Raven bounces back up and straight into a DDT from Tommy Dreamer! Dreamer talks trash to Raven, but then gets dropped right on his head due to an over head belly to belly suplex from Big Poppa Pump! Val Venis downs the Rock with a backbreaker! Val stands over the fallen people’s champ giving a quick grind before sitting down and laying some punches onto the Great one! Raven has Tommy Dreamer backed into the corner and sets him up on the top rope. Dreamer looks like he’s on dream street as Raven climbs up to join him! He’s going for a superplex! But wait Dreamer with a couple of blows to the mid section and he goes to push Raven off, but Raven pushes back and they both fall to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Raven (Starlight) and Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
BZZZTTTT!! The Rumble In The Jungle theme music ‘Da Antidote’ By The Stanton Warriors plays, as late entry Steven Richards (Shaneo) makes his way to the ring! Big Stevie Cool is one of two unannounced competitors to be taking part in this Rumble as Kronic, Brian Clarke and Brian Adams (Scott Giles) were turned away at customs! Richards enters the ring and is immediately hit by a Scott Steiner drop-kick! Incredible agility from a man that size! Tommy Dreamer and Raven continue to brawl on the floor as our team of referees desperately try to separate them!
Val Venis off the ropes, Brett Hart with a drop toe-hold! Float over by Bret into a modified head lock! DDP whips Al Snow off the ropes DDP ducks, telegraphed it! Boot to the face from Snow! But Val has Snow now, Russian leg sweep! DDP with A DDT to Val! Scott Steiner pulls Al Snow back to his feet, and GORILLA PRESS!!! Great display of strength from Scott Steiner as he walks to the ropes and nonchalantly tosses Al Snow to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Al Snow (Rickoss)
BZZZTTTT. As the referees are scraping what is left of Al Snow off the floor and helping him to the back, out comes The Bossman (MikeAll). Who meets the referees dragging Al Snow’s limp body away halfway down the ramp where he brutalises the defencless Snow with his nightstick! Snow is busted up real bad now! The Bossman is finally convinced to leave Snow alone and continues to make his way to the ring! Val Venis with a Russian Leg-Sweep to Shawn Michaels! Val goes up top---MONEY SHO...nope! Michaels moved! Val bounces right up to his feet as The Heartbreak kid is going for...hold on, Stevie is setting for his Stevie Kick and Shawn Michaels is set for the sweet chin music and WHAM!!! Val Venis takes two super-kicks to the head from opposite corners! His head just got squashed like a pancake!
BZZTTTT!!! This sold out crowd is on their feet as The Godfather (Tazz) makes his way to the ring with his usual compliment of lovely ‘escorts’! Godfather isn’t rushing to get involved in this one, preferring instead to do a little dancing with his ladies on the outside first! DDP (Mpuldy Cheese) fires a couple of straight right hands at Steven Richards (Shaneo) before finishing him off with a discus punch! Stevie slumps to the floor but the Bossman (MikeAll) clobbers DDP with his nightstic, that he brought into the ring with him! Bossman now turns his attentions to Stevie, he’s got his legs, maybe looking for a Boston crab? No Boosman falls backwards, CATAPULT! Stevie into and over the ropes!!!
ELIMINATED: Steven Richards (Shaneo)
Shawn Michaels continues to brawl with Bret Hart as Scott Steiner and the Rock trade blows. Val Venis goes toe-to-toe with DDP and The Bossman and The Godfather have paired off too! When, BZZZTTTT!!!! “Laaaatiiiino Heat” Here comes Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)! Latino Heat himself! The former European Champion makes possibly the slowest entrance of the day as he chooses to strut and preen his way down to the ring! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! Shawn Michaels just kicked DDP clean over the top rope!!!
ELIMINATED: DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
The Bossman is whipped into the corner by The Godfather who winds up to a huge crowd pop. THE HO TRAIN!!! Bossman just got squashed! Bossman staggers out of the corner and is met by a huge clothesline from the Rock! Godfather over the top, but wait he’s caught the top rope and is dangling there, he’s too big to haul himself back in though! Look at this! Eddie Guerrero has spotted Bossman’s predicament and has walked over, he prises Bossman’s fingers open one by one and the former corrections office falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: The Bossman (Mike All)
BZZZTTTTT!!!”Oh you didn’t know?” Here comes The Road Dogg (Kid Rock)!!!! “Your
ELIMINATED: The Godfather (Tazz)
Road Dogg straight into the action as he fires in a pair of right hands on Eddie Guererro before doing a little shimmy and a huge right hand knocks Guerrero to the mat! Shawn Michaels gets hit with a back-drop suplex, perfectly executed or course by Bret Hart! Scott Steiner has The Rock on the mat and he’s locked in The Steiner Recliner!!! Rocky is screaming in pain!
BZZZZZTTTTT!!! The sound of smashing glass brings the audience to it’s feet as Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock) makes his way into the ring. “ Business is about to pick up” Says Kamala in very clipped English, the first words he’s said from the commentary position to make sense all day! Stone Cold is quickly into the ring, where he Val Venis (Cong Man) tries to rush him, The Texas Rattlesnake steps to one side though and gives Val a push sending his straight over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Val Venis (The Cong Man)
The Rock lays a couple of punches on to the Road Dogg, before iminting his shimmy, drawing his hand back, spitting on it and slapping The D-O- double G straight over the top rope!
ELIMINATED: Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
Scott Steiner has Eddie Guerrero up in a body slam position, but instead of slamming him, he dumps him to the floor! The bodies are really starting to tumble out of that ring now!
ELIMINATED: Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
BZZZTTTT!!! Here comes former WWF commissioner William Regal and---LOOK AT HIS HAND!!! He’s brought those brass knucks with him! Still Regal doesn’t look to keen to get into this one and stands on the outside remonstrating with the referees rather than getting into the ring! Stone Cold with the Irish-Whip to Scott Steiner, Lou Thesz press! And a salvo of punches to the one time Steiner Brother’s head for good measure! Regal finally gets into the ring and is pounced upon by Bret Hart, right hands from The Hitman, Regal with a block, forearm to The Hitman which backs him into the ropes! REGAL USED THE KNUCKS!!! Straight into Bret Hart’s face and he tumbles over the top and to the floor where he lays unconscious!
ELIMINATED: Bret Hart (Crash)
The fans boo Regal loudly for that action, but the boos turn to cheers as Regal turns back to the action and is immediately caught in The Rock’s PIE-BUSTER!!! Into the sharp-shooter! Huge crowd pop! Looks like the knucks went flying out of the ring as well! BZZZTTTT!!!
Here comes long-serving veteran of the mat wars Faarooq (Longy)! The APA member, in stark contrast to Regal, wastes no time running into the ring! Shawn Michaels goes to cut him off but gets whipped into the ropes for his trouble and as he comes back Faarooq drills him with a vicious standing spine-buster! Austin, meanwhile is being whipped off the other ropes and is met by a Steiner-line from Big Poppa Pump, who pauses to kiss his bulging bicep before dropping an elbow on Austin! Steiner makes the cover---1---2---3---4---5—6—7---8, well he can lie on Austin all day, the big dumb SOB has forgotten the only way to eliminate your opponent is over the ropes!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Here come the money!” It’s Shane McMahon (Cong Man)! And look! He’s got Paul Heyman with him! What on earth?!? They’re bringing a table to the ring with them! Shane O’Mac dances about a bit at the top of the ramp before making his way down to the ring. William Regal continues to got toe-to-toe with the Rock, stunning him with a pair of forearms, he goes for a third and it connects. Regal sends Rock off the ropes, as he comes back he goes for a clothesline Rock ducks and whips Regal off the ropes! Regal comes back, Rocky sidesteps and accelerates Regal straight over the top! No wait! He caught himself, but his grip fades and Regal falls to the floor!
ELIMINATED: William Regal (Grandprix)
Shane O’Mac is now in the ring and Paul Heyman has set that table up on the outside! Scott Steiner lifts Faarooq for an atomic drop, but manages to atagger forward and dumps him over the ropes instead!
ELIMINATED Faarooq (Longy)
Shawn Michael continues to tangle with The Rock, right hand from HBK, blocked the Rock lays the smack down on Michaels Candy-
ELIMINATED: Shawn Michaels (Longy)
BZZZTTTTT!!! Here comes Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese) and is it just me, or does the big man look even more annoyed than usual?!? Perhaps angry at the lack of TV time he’s had lately! Awesome wastes no time getting to the apron and uses the ropes to catapult himself into the ring taking out The Rock and Scott Steiner as he does so with a double clothesline! Stone Cold is felled by a big boot from the big Awesome who now goes after Shane McMahon! The Boy Wonder is whipped into the corner, AWESOME SPLASH! Shane McMAhon staggers out of the corner doubled up and Awesome quickly shoves him into position for a powerbomb! Awesome has him up, but look at this!!! Awesome runs the length of the ring before launching Shane O’Mac over the top rope and straight through the table that he brought to ringside himself! RUNNING AWESOME BOMB TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH A TABLE!!! OUCH!!!
ELIMINATED: Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
BZZZTTTT!!! The strange sounds of the Jungle fills the arena as the enormous afro of Haku (Crash) looms menacingly into sight! Meanwhile, back in the ring Stone Cold and the Rock have over-powered Awesome and are attempting to force him over the ropes! But Awesome hangs on and manages to break free with a pair of head-butts! Scott Stiener immediately goes after Haku, but a pair of shots to the Tongan monster’s head has no effect! Haku fires back with a big headbutt! Steiner wobbles but doesn’t go down! Haku whips him hard into the corner and follows in with a pair of chops that echo all the way through this arena. STEINER WITH A KNEE TO THE GROIN! Steiner uses the low blow to his advantage and rams Haku’s head a couple of times into the top turnbuckle! This doesn’t even register though and Haku bangs his own head on the turnbuckle a couple more times just for good measure! Another headbutt form Haku leaves Steiner on his back!
BZZTTTT!!! A cheesy piece of guitar music plays and Jeff Jarrett makes his way out, complete with guitar! Jarrett gets to the ring but finds Haku waiting for him and so Double J thinks twice about getting into the ring! The referees are trying to convince Jarrett to get into the ring! Haku is keaning through the ropes eager to get his hands on Jarrett, Jarrett takes a step back AND SMASHES THAT GUITAR RIGHT OVER HAKU’S HEAD!!! BUT WAIT!!! Haku rears up and looks happy about it! He wants more!!! But Awesome blindsides Haku! A running elbow to the back of the monster’s head sends him over the rope and Jarrett scurrying round to the other side of the ring! The referees have to step in to prevent Haku getting back in the ring!
ELIMINATED: Haku (Crash)
BZZTTTT!!! Oh my! It’s the man-beast Rhyno (Jetster)! Rhyno paises on the ramp, only to adjust his wrist taping before sprinting to the ring! The Rock with a rock-bottom to Jeff Jarrett, who only just got into the ring! Rhyno is set in the corner signalling for him to get up and as The Rock turns back to the action Rhyno gores him clean over the top rope! GORE! GORE! GORE! WOAH!!! That was some impact!
ELIMINATED: The Rock (Starlight)
Mike Awesome is reinging the blows in on Austin, but STUNNER!! Out of nowhere Austin just stunned Awesome! Rhyno runs at Scott Steiner who is stood in the middle of the ring. Rhyno picks Steiner up as he goes and keeps running giving a little push as he reaches the rope and sending the genetic freak to the floor! Rhyno is on a roll!!!
ELIMINATED: Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
BZZZZTTTT!! The APA’s music hits for the second time tonight as Bradshaw (Kid Rock) makes his way out to take his place in this huge match-up! Stone Cold and Jeff Jarrett are tading blows and the Texas Rattlesnake comes off better sending Jarrett into the corner! Austin follows in astomps a mudhole in Double J and walking it dry as the fans shout “Que?” Mike Awesome and Rhyno are absolutely laying into each other at the same time, right in the centre of the ring! Bradshaw strides hos way over the top rope and immediately makes a bee-line for Rhyno, helping Awesome send him to the mat where the big Texan jumps on top and lands some big soup bowl-like right hands on the man-beast!
BZZZTTTT!!! ”Test, Test, This is a Test.” And here indeed, as the music informed us is Test (Longy)! Test walks down the ramp oozing arrogance like only a man who has immunity from being fired can do! Test has his sights on Bradshaw and nails him from behind as he was too busy stomping the life out of Rhyno. Jeff Jarrett looks in abd way from the beating Austin has goiven him and is lying in the corner, arms and legs wrapped around the bottom rope, determined that no-one will even get close to eliminating him!
BZZZTTTT!! Stanton Warrior’s ‘Da Antidote’ blares through the cheap PA system in the Municipál arena once again, denoting the arrival of a wrestler so low key that he doesn’t even have his own entry music any more, Chaz (Big_Slow). Chaz sprints to the ring and charges straight at Austin determined to make a name for himself. Austin is too busy punching the life out of Rhyno to see him coming, but wait! Austins last punch on Rhyno caused the Rattlesnake to move forwards and Chaz misses! Straight into and over the ropes! Erm, well now, that wasn’t very clever was it?
ELIMINATED: Chaz (Big_Slow)
BZZZTTTT!!! As Chaz curses what he considers his own bad luck and the rest of us consider his stupidity, the fans rises to their feet and salute the WWF’s own superhero The Hurricane (Crash)! Hurricane sprints to the ring and plants a boot in to Srone Cold’s stomach. Helms follows up by wrapping his hand around Austin’s throat. CHOKE---erm, nope, he can’t get him up. STUNNER!!! Out of nowhere Austin just stunned Helms! Jeff Jarrett, who has finally ventured out from the ropes, gets whipped into the corner by Rhyno. RHYNO CHARGES---AND--GOR--NO!!! Jarrett moved, but WHAM!!! CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Jarrett dodged one bullet but Bradshaw found the mark with that shot! GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno explodes out of the corner and nails Bradshaw!
BZZZTTTT!!! The screen counts down the arrival of Chris Jericho (Scott Giles), who struts to the ring with all his usual swagger. Before Y2J has even had chance to get to the ring though, The Hurricane is heading in the opposite direction courtesy of being stood too close to the ropes as Test hit him with a huge big boot.
ELIMINATED: The Hurricane (Crash)
Jericho is now in the ring and preys on the easy picking of the absolutely exhausted Jeff Jarrett who staggers straight into a double underhook back-breaker from Jericho. Stone Cold runs to attack Jericho though and gets in a couple of big right hands before whipping Jericho off the ropes LOU THESZ PRE---NO! Jericho blocked it and has Austin’s feet he’s going for THE WALLS OF JERI---NOPE!!! Jericho falls backwards instead and catapults Austin! AUSTIN OVER THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR!!!
ELIMINATED: Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
BZZTTTT!!! Here comes Albert (Jetster) now, dancing his way out to the ring to Scotty 2 Hotty’s music! Mike Awesome has his huge frame up on the top rope and he has Test and Bradshaw both down on the mat to aim for. AWESOME SPLASH!!! He got ‘em both cos he’s so damn big!!! Jeff Jarrett whipped into the corner by Albert who hits him with a corner splash! Jericho mops up whats left by Drop-kicking Double J in the back, the exhausted Jarrett tumbles to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
B-ZZ-T-T!!! The buzzer is beginning to sound a bit knackered as the Japanese Buzzsaw, Tajiri (Starlight) makes his way out to the ring. Tajiri instantly makes his presence felt by nailing Chris Jericho woith a trio of stiff kicks to the head. Jericho sinks to his knees and Tajiri lines up a knock-out blow, but Mike Awesome is creeping up behind him BACK KICK!!! Tajiri must have a sixth sense to know Awesome was behind him! The big man is caught off guard and flies over the rope landing with a sickening thud on the floor
EIMINATED: Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
B-----Z-----T!!! We barely hear the tiring buzzer now, but we hear Kurt Angle (Grandprix)’s music as it seems the Olympian secured himself a plum draw in this one! Kurt stands on the ramp signalling his own pyro as the real fireworks are happening in the ring! Bradshaw just uncharacteristically went up top, but Benoit kicked the ropes and the big Texan has fallen to the floor!
ELIMINATED: Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
B------T!!! As the buzzer dies out on us the last entry makes his way into the ring and he’s drawn the ‘perfect’ entry! It’s our other late entrant, Mr. Perfect (Shaneo)! Albert whips Tajiri into the corenr and goes to follow in with a charge, but Tajiri is quickly onto the top rope and has a tarantula locked in! But look at Kurt Angle, off the ropes, baseball slide drop kick, under Albert and the ropes to the head of Tajiri, Tajiri’s hold on Albert slips and he just fell right onto his head on the outside! His feet soon follow.
ELIMINATED: Tajiri (Starlight)
Test and Rhyno with a double clothesline to Albert who almost, but not quite, manages to hang on to the ropes. A comfortable upright landing is no consolation to the hip-hop hippo!
ELIMINATED: Albert (Jetster)
Rhyno’s part in the double clothesline left him open from behind though and it’s Mr. Perfect with a simple push over the ropes to finally eliminate the Man-Beast!
ELIMINATED: Rhyno (Jetster)
As Mr. Perfect turns back to the ring though, he finds Test who nails him with a huge pair of forearm shots! Kurt Angle with a waist-lock on Jericho which soon becomes a very painful looking overhead-release German Suplex! Jericho got folded up like an accordion right there! Test continues to beat down on Mr. Perfect who is getting beaten like a government mule out there! Mr. Perfect is a wily ring veteran though and with a quick tug of Test’s leather pants sends Mr. Immunity’s head crashing into the turnbuckle!
Chris Jericho with a snap suplex on Kurt Angle. Mr. Perfect with a front-face lock on Test. Test pushes perfect off and into the ropes, BIG BOOT!!! Perfect crashes to the floor right out in front of our announcer table!
ELIMINATED: Mr. Perfect (Shaneo)
Kurt Angle staggers back to his feet as Jericho looks at Test and Test looks back, they charge the Olympian, double clothesline over the ropes!!! He’s gone!!!
ELIMINATED: Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
Jericho wastes no time and immediately bounces off the ropes next to him SPRINGBOARD DROP-KI---!!!NO!!! Test caught him and dumps him over the ropes. Test turns to celebrate and doesn’t see Jericho desperately hanging on!!! Jericho struggles and finally gets a foot on the apron. He pulls back on the ropes, catapulting himself onto the top rope, spring board spinning kick the length of the ring, into the back of Test!!! Test over the top!!! Jericho has won!!!
ElIMINATED: Test (Longy)
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble mathc and a title shot of his pleasing at the next WWF Forum Pay-per-view….CHRIS JERICHO (Scott Giles)
RESULTS SUMMARY
ORDER OF ENTRY
1. Steve Blackman (Ant)
2. Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow)
3. Justin Credible (Rickoss)
4. Ken Shamrock (The_Cong_Man)
5. Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
6. Raven (Starlight)
7. Mankind (Ice Blaster)
8. Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
9. Viscera (AfroJoe)
10. Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
11. Al Snow (Rickoss)
12. DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
13. The Rock (Starlight)
14. Val Venis (The Cong Man)
15. Shawn Michaels (Longy)
16. Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
17. Bret Hart (Crash)
18. Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
19. Brian Clark (Scott Giles) WITHDRAWN Replaced by Stevie Richards
20. The Bossman (MikeAll)
21. The Godfather (Tazz)
22. Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
23. Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
24. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
25. William Regal (Grandprix)
26. Faarooq (Longy)
27. Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
28. Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
29. Haku (Crash)
30. Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
31. Rhyno (Jetster)
32. Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
33. Test (Longy)
34. Chaz (Big_Slow)
35. The Hurricane (Crash)
36. Chris Jericho (Scott Giles)
37. Albert (Jetster)
38. Tajiri (Starlight)
39. Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
40. Brian Adams (Scott Giles) WITHDRAWN Replaced by Mr.Perfect (Shaneo)
RESULTS SUMMARY
ORDER OF ELIMINATION (Places gained)
1. Hugh Morrus (Big_Slow)
2. Chuck Palumbo (Crash)
3. Justin Credible (Rickoss)
4. Viscera (AfroJoe)
5. Bull Buchanan (AfroJoe)
6. Ken Shamrock (The_Cong_Man)
7. Lance Storm (Mouldy Cheese)
8. Steve Blackman (Ant)
9. Mankind (Ice Blaster)
10=. Raven (Starlight)
10=. Tommy Dreamer (Big_Slow)
12. Al Snow (Rickoss)
13. Stevie Richards (Shaneo)
14. DDP (Mouldy Cheese)
15. The Bossman (MikeAll)
16. The Godfather (Tazz)
17. Val Venis (The Cong Man)
18. Road Dogg (Kid Rock)
19. Eddie Guerrero (Ice Blaster)
20. Bret Hart (Crash)
21. William Regal (Grandprix)
22. Faarooq (Longy)
23. Shawn Michaels (Longy)
24. Shane McMahon (The Cong Man)
25. Haku (Crash)
26. The Rock (Starlight)
27. Scott Steiner (The Cong Man)
28. Chaz (Big_Slow)
29. The Hurricane (Crash)
30. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Kid Rock)
31. Jeff Jarrett (AfroJoe)
32. Mike Awesome (Mouldy Cheese)
33. Bradshaw (Kid Rock)
34. Tajiri (Starlight)
35. Albert (Jetster)
36. Rhyno (Jetster)
37. Mr.Perfect (Shaneo)
38. Kurt Angle (Grandprix)
39. Test (Longy)
WINNER!!! Chris Jericho (Scott Giles)
Congratulations, to well, erm me, for being able to write all that :P Thanks to anyone who is till reading ;)