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"A recipe for the perfect post"

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Wed 20/11/02 at 18:29
Regular
Posts: 787
Before you begin cooking the post, you should prepare the following things: -

A forum to post in

A console, the more consoles the more variety you can include

A PC

A Keyboard

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

1.The first thing you need is a base for the recipe. Pizza dough would be sufficient, however a point of view, an experience or a spoof is sufficient.

2.Next you need to choose what taste you are going to go for. Will the post be a cake or a pie, sweet or savoury? A sweeter post will be a parody, a spoof or one which mocks a character or developer in the gaming world. A savoury post is a post that is directly related to gaming or computing and doesn’t receive comment like “lol, kewl.”

3.If you are going to make a savoury post, it is advised you include some meat. You can go for the vegetarian approach, but those posts are unfulfilling and don’t win GADs, you need beef, or sirloin steak in your post. A topic that is fairly intellectual but not too challenging on the mind or eyes. Double line spacing is something which should be added if the post is very long and gives everyone a headache.

4.If you are going to go for the sweeter approach you should add some fruit. You can add the rare “spoof” fruit, which is popular as of late, the “story” genre fruit or the “humorous experience” fruit which generally raises a laugh or two. Cut the fruit into small chunks so it is easier to chew.

5.Now take your concoction and sprinkle it with sugar (on the sweet posts) or salt (on the savoury ones). This can be punctuation salt and grammatical sugar. It will make your post easier to digest and refreshing to taste.

*Note: Works particularly well if you are a newbie.

6.Sprinkle two or three smiley faces around your post to give the “home cooked” feel.

7.Measure 1-2 teaspoon’s of controversy into your post, but take care, too much could spoil it and make it taste rotten.

8.Randomly scatter insults aimed at newbies around to post. The regulars will love you for this; it also adds a mellower flavour and gives it a “moreish” taste.

9.Your concoction is almost done, however you should add a signature to the post, to personalise it and make people want to eat the posts more and more often. Something along the lines of “thanks for reading...” digests easily and tastes sweet.
10.When your post is complete you should place it into the designated forum and bake for around 30 minutes.

11.The post should attract around 10-20 comments; this is a sign that the post is either good or bad.

12. *Caution* Popping your post so it gets to the top of the list of posts can severely impair the flavour and cause instant distaste, as can quoting large segments of peoples replies to answer them.

- Wait 3 to 4 days and check if you have won a GAD for your efforts.

- If you haven’t, don’t be disheartened; there are many more recipes that you can try.

- - Don’t forget to taste you own post before adding it to the forum, a quick scan through will tell you whether it tastes all right.



(Taken from kyz22’s “how to cook” part I)

-kyz²²-
Wed 20/11/02 at 20:49
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
Yeah, um, I dont think we needed to know that, thanks for sharing though.
Wed 20/11/02 at 20:41
Regular
" ban the Taliban"
Posts: 1,298
hm I'm back. So I started to go for a pee, and then as it usually does happen, my stomach started churning and sure enough, I needed a #2. So I went for a number 2. I would go into more detail but cant realy be bothered.
Wed 20/11/02 at 20:39
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
Rabbit<>K wrote:
> Oh ok i just checked and you did win sorru *hits self*

*grins psychotically at rabbit*
Wed 20/11/02 at 20:30
Regular
" ban the Taliban"
Posts: 1,298
I need a pee, I'm at the vegetarian bit. I can't be bothered to read the rest...... AHHH MAN I GOTTA PEE! ! ! !
Wed 20/11/02 at 18:57
Posts: 0
Oh ok i just checked and you did win sorru *hits self*
Wed 20/11/02 at 18:51
Posts: 0
But Kyz22 you've never won GAD for a post (i mean ive never won at all but hey) so how much can you really say!?
Wed 20/11/02 at 18:50
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
*punches parr*

oh you said a "pinch" oops.

*gets parr some ice*
Wed 20/11/02 at 18:48
Regular
"I'm Back!!"
Posts: 1,973
Perfect Post.. 1 or more letters written on lined paper, envolopes corresponding to number of letters used and stamps :D

*looks smug*

*realises*

*dies*
Wed 20/11/02 at 18:46
Regular
"^_^"
Posts: 3,863
You forgot to add a pinch of Parr. Everyone likes a pinch of Parr! and some lucky one might get a bit more! ¦;¬P
Wed 20/11/02 at 18:37
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
Great post kyz, really good stuff.

and....

Kyz22 wrote:
>*Note: Works particularly well if you are a newbie.

Heh, good one.

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