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Gerrid: SR University has over the past few years acquired many records, some academic, some, well, weird. I've been here for about 4 years now, and it's a great place to learn.
J Savo: *Moan* This place sucks!
Gerrid: Ah, but that's where you're wrong. You see, last year, four students embarked on an amazing journey, and it all began here...
--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0
Chips: She totally wants you! One of THE hottest girls is begging for it, and all you can say is "I already have one." Come on, Rosalind lives in Scotland for God Sake!
Dark Mark (Mark): You know the story. We've known each other all our lives, and we promised to stay committed, even if she did move all the way up to Scotland.
Chips: Fine, but girls like Iguana don't come along every day y'know! The window of, er, opportunity is getting smaller everyday. You have to take life as it comes, and me, I'm ready for it!
Mark: Yeah, I suppose you're right. And I mean, she is pretty good….
Chips: *cough*
Mark: Pretty good, er, I mean, er, with a keyboard! Yes, er, with a keyboard…
Chips: Anyway, I'm having a party later. You coming? We're auctioning girls…
Mark: Yeah, sure, whatever. I'll come.
-=Three hours Later=-
Chips: We have the, I suppose, lovely Mystique. How much for this little, er, 'Babe'?
DW: Two fifty!
Chips: Going once, going twice….. gone! To thew dude in the corner!
DW: Yeah!
Mystique: You know, you bear a resemblance to a monkey….. *Giggles*
DW: Uh-oh….
Chips: Next, we have Iguana! Looking good tonight! How much for Iguana?
Maddmun: one fifty!
Iguana: Yuck! Mark, MARK!
Mark: Er, yeah, erm, three fifty.
Chips: Going once, going twice….
Maddmun: three seventy.
Chips: No-one? Sold! To the albino of darkness, Mark!
Maddmun: But, but….
Chips: No, you lost, go!
-= Later that night =-
Mark: Wow! You're good!
Iguana: I've been waiting all year to do this, I was waiting for the right guy…..
Mark: Yep, that's me. Yeah, you are really fantastic! I'm in awe of you! How did you learn to do it that fast?
Iguana: The hacking? Tought myself…
Mark: Wow! Anyway, let's try and get into the SR database!
Iguana: Hold on, I have an idea. Let's, er, record ourselves hacking!
Mark: Yeah, I suppose, I'll get set up the camera.
-= The next morning =-
Mark: I did it! She was fantastic!
Rickoss: What, you mean you…?
Mark: Hacked? Yes….
Rickoss: Oh, I thought you meant….
Chips: I sent that email to Rosalind, like you asked. And I erased it too.
Mark: Well, it just so happens I recorded Iguana and I last night…
Chips: Now way! I *have* to see that! Quick, go!
Mark signs into his email, and realises the file he save din his outbox is gone. He then realises the email to Rosalind is still there.
Mark: Oh no! No, no no!
Chips: What, you don't mean, AHAHAHA!
Mark: Yep, you sent the video of Iguana and I to Rosalind. We have to get it back. It just so happens that she doesn't get back until Monday, and today is Friday. We'll just about do it.
Rickoss: How are we going to get there? We have no money, no car and the train strike is still in effect.
Mark: AJ! He has a car! Let's go!
They all leave the room, and head for AJ's dorm.
AJ: He-hello?
Mark: AJ, we need to borrow your car. It's incredibly important. Erm, you can come with us, I suppose.
AJ: Wahoo! Road trip! Well, what are we waiting for?
AJ, Chips, Mark and Rickoss climb into AJ's car, and set off down the road. Passing the time, they talk about 'The code'.
Mark: Yeah, the code, you know, two different post codes…
Rickoss: No, not that code. The other one. About oxymoron's.
Mark: Oh, that one. That's crap. Anyway, I need the toilet.
--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0
Gerrid: And that was it. Mark needed the toilet. It's a legend in its own right!
J Savo: That sucked more than this place!
Gerrid: Who said I'm finished? Anyway, they pulled into Newport Pagnell, and Mark legged it for the toilets.
Chips: Well, I'm gonna go and live up to my name and get a McDonalds. Anyone coming?
Rick: Nah, get me a coke and some fries though.
Chips: Right. AJ?
AJ: Nah, you're alright thanks.
Off Chips went, and walked into McDonalds. A spotty geek approached the counter, and appeared to act younger than his age. His tone of voice suggested he wasn't always geeky, and he sounded like he could have actually been cool.
Snuggly: What'll you have?
Loki: Ha! The narrator dude called you geeky! Ha!
Snuggly: Yes, who was that? Ah, Gerrid. Well, he's allowed.
Chips: Er, 2 regular fries, a Big Snugg and a coke.
Darkus: A BIG SNUGG!
The burger was placed in the bag with the rest of the stuff, and Chips paid. It wasn't until he saw Mark limping out of the toilets that he realised the bag was heavier than it should have been.
Mark: Meh, the Squits. Urgh. I need to sit down.
Chips: Hang on, hey, what's that? Oh S….
It was a bomb. Not just any bomb, a snuggles bomb. Highly lethal, and detonates with the slightest knock. For some reason it wasn't blinking.
Darkus: Hey, why's there a battery over here?
Snuggly: Oh, crap! Nothing ever goes right here!
Chips: Mark, run!
Mark: But, the squits….
Chips: Waddle! Just go!
The run (and waddle) back to the car, jump in a drive off. A very angry snuggly is standing at the end of the motorway services when an 18-wheeler decides to pull out of the petrol station.
Snuggly: Oh for God sake!
-= Back on the road =-
Mark: Wow! That was close. Now, how long until we get to Scotland?
AJ: Easy. About 9 hours.
Rick: Oh well, better get some sleep then.
Just as he was dosing off, there's a large banging sound from inside the boot. They pull into the hard shoulder, and investigate the noise. They open the boot, and out pops Hercules.
Herc: Christ! I thought you'd never stop! I had the Squits earlier, and the smell.
Mark: Ha-Ha! You mean, you've been in there for four hours? *Sniffs* Whoa! And I thought I was bad!
Herc: Yeah. You don't have any Senakot now, do you? Ow! I'm so stiff. Oh yeah, can I tag along?
Rick: Sure, might as well.
All five get back into the car, and drive off again. When they reached Manchester, there were signs everywhere for a concert. And not just any old concert. It was Queens of the Snuggle age.
Mark: Wow! QOTSA! We *have* to go!
Chips: Sure, why not. Maybe the mild reference to Snuggly is just a coincidence.
They arrive at the concert, and go buy tickets, even though this is not possible, as previously mentioned, they have no money. Let's just say, er, they teleport in there. Yeah…
Snuggly: Now, we're going to invite a special member of the audience to come up here. You, there! Come up here!
Mark: Oh great, what a time to have the Squits. Still, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
As he walks up, QOTSA leave the stage, and the microphone head pops off. Suddenly, voices come out of the speakers.
Voice: I am Loki, er, the great Lokisico. You hacked SR in the nude, with a girl! You must die!
Mark: Oh crap! There's a gun in the microphone!
Herc: Waddle Mark, waddle!
Mark waddles off the stage, and with the rest of the guys, somehow manages to get back to the car, without dying. Which is good. Because dying in a spoof is poor taste. I mean, spoofs are mean to be funny, but dying just makes them crap. Unless someone dies in a comical way. Erm, anyway, back to the story. After they had reached the Scottish border, the stopped because a hitch-hiker jumped into the road. There were a group of them, about three. AJ undid the window.
AJ: Oy! Get out of the way! We're already behind in time!
Tribute: Well, we need to get to Liverpool, and are lost. We know it's near London, but we don't have a lift.
Rick: Right. You see that mountain over there?
*They all look*
Rick: Quick, go!
AJ sticks his foot down and drives away. Herc sticks his head out of the window and shouts at them.
Herc: Ha-Ha! You guys suck!
Chips: Matt, the tree!
Herc: Oh S….
*Smack*
After Herc came around, he got up and stared out of the window. The car was parked next to a field full of sheep, and everyone was outside.
Rick: Right, there, that one! He looks yummy!
Mark: Hey, he's mine! After all, I'm Welsh…
Rick: Mark, NO! We said, the sheep are only for eating.
Mark: Oh….
AJ: Yes, oh. Now, how do you kill a sheep?
Sheep: You take its legs off.
Mark: Yeah, then it's a cloud! Hah! Anyway, wait a minute, did you just speak? In all my years of Sheep, er, experience, I've never known a sheep to talk.
Sheep: I'm not just any old sheep, I'm sheepy!
Gerrid: Now, what the guys didn't realise, that Sheepy, er, Sheepu, was actually a bloke. Sent from Snuggly, he was to entice Mark, and get him excited. Then he would kill him, when his guard was down. But Sheepu had other ideas.
Sheepy: Mark, you know you want me!
Mark: No, not really. Sheep can't type.
Sheepy: But, you're Welsh. You don't use sheep for typing.
Mark: We do. That, er, Myth. Pile of rubbish.
Sheepy: Oh, well, I guess I'm deemed useless then. Anyway, er, bye!
AJ: Wait a minute! We want your Mrs. For tea!
Sheepy: Oh, dolly, yeah, go ahead.
AJ: Cheers!
They clamber back in the car, and drive off. Amazingly, the sheep cooks itself, and they eat. When they finally reached the university of Glasgow, they got out and Mark waddled off inside.
Mark: Hi, erm, I need to see Rosalind, erm, yeah.
Aufie: Do you have a room pass?
Mark: No, but I really need to see her.
Aufie: I'm sorry, but you need a pass. Campus rules. Now scoot.
Mark: I NEED TO SEE HER!
Parr: What's going on here? Mark, is that you?
Mark: Oh crap, er, I mean, Hi Parr.
Rick: But you hate this guy!
Mark: He has a room pass. Look.
Rick: Ah, clever.
Mark: Now, Parr. Can I borrow your room pass? I need to see a girl about something.
Parr: Yeah, here. I don't need it anyway.
Mark: Cheers!
They all waddled off to her room, and using the pass, opened the door. Her computer was on, and her email page was loading up. Luckily, she was in the toilet.
Mark: There it is! Quickly!
He deletes the message, and out pops Rosalind.
Ros: Mark? What are you doing here?
Mark: Well, I, er, I …
Chips: He wanted to tell you he's breaking up with you.
Mark: CHIPS!
Ros: No, it’s fine. I've already had a baby with the PE teacher.
Mark: Oh, well, erm, we'll, er, stay for a bit.
Ros: No, now go.
Gerrid: And that was it. They headed home. All that way for nothing.
J savo: That sucked!
Gerrid: How can it be improved? It’s a legend!
J Savo: There were no mice, no topless blokes…
Gerrid: Ok, I'll add that in. Wait, did you just say blokes?
J Savo: Yes, why?
Gerrid: Get. Away. From. Me.
J Savo: Ok, I'll settle for topless Mice….
Gerrid: ARGH! Anyway, that concludes our tour of the University of SR.
Badgerman: What happened to the guys?
Gerrid: AJ's still here, as is Chips and Mark. Herc left and traveled to Pourto Rico, teaching them how to kill a sheep, and as for Snuggly, well, take a look for yourself.
There was a tall man walking through the middle of the campus. He had a note stuck to his back. It read "Kick you".
J Savo: Hah! I got him good!
Gerrid: Me! It’s meant to say kick me!
J Savo: oh.
Gerrid: Yes, he's the founder of this very Campus. Darkus and Loki became IT teachers, and as for Iguana, well, she's going round to Mark's dorm tonight to hack into NASA.
Sheepy: Wait! What about me?
Gerrid: The story's over.
Sheepy: Oh, bagger. Well, erm, cya!
And off he went. The next few years were interesting for our little bloke-sheep fellow. But that's another spoof.
Thanks for reading
Microchips.
:D
J Savo: *Moan* This place sucks!
Gerrid: Ah, but that's where you're wrong. You see, last year, four students embarked on an amazing journey, and it all began here...
--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0
Chips: She totally wants you! One of THE hottest girls is begging for it, and all you can say is "I already have one." Come on, Rosalind lives in Scotland for God Sake!
Dark Mark (Mark): You know the story. We've known each other all our lives, and we promised to stay committed, even if she did move all the way up to Scotland.
Chips: Fine, but girls like Iguana don't come along every day y'know! The window of, er, opportunity is getting smaller everyday. You have to take life as it comes, and me, I'm ready for it!
Mark: Yeah, I suppose you're right. And I mean, she is pretty good….
Chips: *cough*
Mark: Pretty good, er, I mean, er, with a keyboard! Yes, er, with a keyboard…
Chips: Anyway, I'm having a party later. You coming? We're auctioning girls…
Mark: Yeah, sure, whatever. I'll come.
-=Three hours Later=-
Chips: We have the, I suppose, lovely Mystique. How much for this little, er, 'Babe'?
DW: Two fifty!
Chips: Going once, going twice….. gone! To thew dude in the corner!
DW: Yeah!
Mystique: You know, you bear a resemblance to a monkey….. *Giggles*
DW: Uh-oh….
Chips: Next, we have Iguana! Looking good tonight! How much for Iguana?
Maddmun: one fifty!
Iguana: Yuck! Mark, MARK!
Mark: Er, yeah, erm, three fifty.
Chips: Going once, going twice….
Maddmun: three seventy.
Chips: No-one? Sold! To the albino of darkness, Mark!
Maddmun: But, but….
Chips: No, you lost, go!
-= Later that night =-
Mark: Wow! You're good!
Iguana: I've been waiting all year to do this, I was waiting for the right guy…..
Mark: Yep, that's me. Yeah, you are really fantastic! I'm in awe of you! How did you learn to do it that fast?
Iguana: The hacking? Tought myself…
Mark: Wow! Anyway, let's try and get into the SR database!
Iguana: Hold on, I have an idea. Let's, er, record ourselves hacking!
Mark: Yeah, I suppose, I'll get set up the camera.
-= The next morning =-
Mark: I did it! She was fantastic!
Rickoss: What, you mean you…?
Mark: Hacked? Yes….
Rickoss: Oh, I thought you meant….
Chips: I sent that email to Rosalind, like you asked. And I erased it too.
Mark: Well, it just so happens I recorded Iguana and I last night…
Chips: Now way! I *have* to see that! Quick, go!
Mark signs into his email, and realises the file he save din his outbox is gone. He then realises the email to Rosalind is still there.
Mark: Oh no! No, no no!
Chips: What, you don't mean, AHAHAHA!
Mark: Yep, you sent the video of Iguana and I to Rosalind. We have to get it back. It just so happens that she doesn't get back until Monday, and today is Friday. We'll just about do it.
Rickoss: How are we going to get there? We have no money, no car and the train strike is still in effect.
Mark: AJ! He has a car! Let's go!
They all leave the room, and head for AJ's dorm.
AJ: He-hello?
Mark: AJ, we need to borrow your car. It's incredibly important. Erm, you can come with us, I suppose.
AJ: Wahoo! Road trip! Well, what are we waiting for?
AJ, Chips, Mark and Rickoss climb into AJ's car, and set off down the road. Passing the time, they talk about 'The code'.
Mark: Yeah, the code, you know, two different post codes…
Rickoss: No, not that code. The other one. About oxymoron's.
Mark: Oh, that one. That's crap. Anyway, I need the toilet.
--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0
Gerrid: And that was it. Mark needed the toilet. It's a legend in its own right!
J Savo: That sucked more than this place!
Gerrid: Who said I'm finished? Anyway, they pulled into Newport Pagnell, and Mark legged it for the toilets.
Chips: Well, I'm gonna go and live up to my name and get a McDonalds. Anyone coming?
Rick: Nah, get me a coke and some fries though.
Chips: Right. AJ?
AJ: Nah, you're alright thanks.
Off Chips went, and walked into McDonalds. A spotty geek approached the counter, and appeared to act younger than his age. His tone of voice suggested he wasn't always geeky, and he sounded like he could have actually been cool.
Snuggly: What'll you have?
Loki: Ha! The narrator dude called you geeky! Ha!
Snuggly: Yes, who was that? Ah, Gerrid. Well, he's allowed.
Chips: Er, 2 regular fries, a Big Snugg and a coke.
Darkus: A BIG SNUGG!
The burger was placed in the bag with the rest of the stuff, and Chips paid. It wasn't until he saw Mark limping out of the toilets that he realised the bag was heavier than it should have been.
Mark: Meh, the Squits. Urgh. I need to sit down.
Chips: Hang on, hey, what's that? Oh S….
It was a bomb. Not just any bomb, a snuggles bomb. Highly lethal, and detonates with the slightest knock. For some reason it wasn't blinking.
Darkus: Hey, why's there a battery over here?
Snuggly: Oh, crap! Nothing ever goes right here!
Chips: Mark, run!
Mark: But, the squits….
Chips: Waddle! Just go!
The run (and waddle) back to the car, jump in a drive off. A very angry snuggly is standing at the end of the motorway services when an 18-wheeler decides to pull out of the petrol station.
Snuggly: Oh for God sake!
-= Back on the road =-
Mark: Wow! That was close. Now, how long until we get to Scotland?
AJ: Easy. About 9 hours.
Rick: Oh well, better get some sleep then.
Just as he was dosing off, there's a large banging sound from inside the boot. They pull into the hard shoulder, and investigate the noise. They open the boot, and out pops Hercules.
Herc: Christ! I thought you'd never stop! I had the Squits earlier, and the smell.
Mark: Ha-Ha! You mean, you've been in there for four hours? *Sniffs* Whoa! And I thought I was bad!
Herc: Yeah. You don't have any Senakot now, do you? Ow! I'm so stiff. Oh yeah, can I tag along?
Rick: Sure, might as well.
All five get back into the car, and drive off again. When they reached Manchester, there were signs everywhere for a concert. And not just any old concert. It was Queens of the Snuggle age.
Mark: Wow! QOTSA! We *have* to go!
Chips: Sure, why not. Maybe the mild reference to Snuggly is just a coincidence.
They arrive at the concert, and go buy tickets, even though this is not possible, as previously mentioned, they have no money. Let's just say, er, they teleport in there. Yeah…
Snuggly: Now, we're going to invite a special member of the audience to come up here. You, there! Come up here!
Mark: Oh great, what a time to have the Squits. Still, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
As he walks up, QOTSA leave the stage, and the microphone head pops off. Suddenly, voices come out of the speakers.
Voice: I am Loki, er, the great Lokisico. You hacked SR in the nude, with a girl! You must die!
Mark: Oh crap! There's a gun in the microphone!
Herc: Waddle Mark, waddle!
Mark waddles off the stage, and with the rest of the guys, somehow manages to get back to the car, without dying. Which is good. Because dying in a spoof is poor taste. I mean, spoofs are mean to be funny, but dying just makes them crap. Unless someone dies in a comical way. Erm, anyway, back to the story. After they had reached the Scottish border, the stopped because a hitch-hiker jumped into the road. There were a group of them, about three. AJ undid the window.
AJ: Oy! Get out of the way! We're already behind in time!
Tribute: Well, we need to get to Liverpool, and are lost. We know it's near London, but we don't have a lift.
Rick: Right. You see that mountain over there?
*They all look*
Rick: Quick, go!
AJ sticks his foot down and drives away. Herc sticks his head out of the window and shouts at them.
Herc: Ha-Ha! You guys suck!
Chips: Matt, the tree!
Herc: Oh S….
*Smack*
After Herc came around, he got up and stared out of the window. The car was parked next to a field full of sheep, and everyone was outside.
Rick: Right, there, that one! He looks yummy!
Mark: Hey, he's mine! After all, I'm Welsh…
Rick: Mark, NO! We said, the sheep are only for eating.
Mark: Oh….
AJ: Yes, oh. Now, how do you kill a sheep?
Sheep: You take its legs off.
Mark: Yeah, then it's a cloud! Hah! Anyway, wait a minute, did you just speak? In all my years of Sheep, er, experience, I've never known a sheep to talk.
Sheep: I'm not just any old sheep, I'm sheepy!
Gerrid: Now, what the guys didn't realise, that Sheepy, er, Sheepu, was actually a bloke. Sent from Snuggly, he was to entice Mark, and get him excited. Then he would kill him, when his guard was down. But Sheepu had other ideas.
Sheepy: Mark, you know you want me!
Mark: No, not really. Sheep can't type.
Sheepy: But, you're Welsh. You don't use sheep for typing.
Mark: We do. That, er, Myth. Pile of rubbish.
Sheepy: Oh, well, I guess I'm deemed useless then. Anyway, er, bye!
AJ: Wait a minute! We want your Mrs. For tea!
Sheepy: Oh, dolly, yeah, go ahead.
AJ: Cheers!
They clamber back in the car, and drive off. Amazingly, the sheep cooks itself, and they eat. When they finally reached the university of Glasgow, they got out and Mark waddled off inside.
Mark: Hi, erm, I need to see Rosalind, erm, yeah.
Aufie: Do you have a room pass?
Mark: No, but I really need to see her.
Aufie: I'm sorry, but you need a pass. Campus rules. Now scoot.
Mark: I NEED TO SEE HER!
Parr: What's going on here? Mark, is that you?
Mark: Oh crap, er, I mean, Hi Parr.
Rick: But you hate this guy!
Mark: He has a room pass. Look.
Rick: Ah, clever.
Mark: Now, Parr. Can I borrow your room pass? I need to see a girl about something.
Parr: Yeah, here. I don't need it anyway.
Mark: Cheers!
They all waddled off to her room, and using the pass, opened the door. Her computer was on, and her email page was loading up. Luckily, she was in the toilet.
Mark: There it is! Quickly!
He deletes the message, and out pops Rosalind.
Ros: Mark? What are you doing here?
Mark: Well, I, er, I …
Chips: He wanted to tell you he's breaking up with you.
Mark: CHIPS!
Ros: No, it’s fine. I've already had a baby with the PE teacher.
Mark: Oh, well, erm, we'll, er, stay for a bit.
Ros: No, now go.
Gerrid: And that was it. They headed home. All that way for nothing.
J savo: That sucked!
Gerrid: How can it be improved? It’s a legend!
J Savo: There were no mice, no topless blokes…
Gerrid: Ok, I'll add that in. Wait, did you just say blokes?
J Savo: Yes, why?
Gerrid: Get. Away. From. Me.
J Savo: Ok, I'll settle for topless Mice….
Gerrid: ARGH! Anyway, that concludes our tour of the University of SR.
Badgerman: What happened to the guys?
Gerrid: AJ's still here, as is Chips and Mark. Herc left and traveled to Pourto Rico, teaching them how to kill a sheep, and as for Snuggly, well, take a look for yourself.
There was a tall man walking through the middle of the campus. He had a note stuck to his back. It read "Kick you".
J Savo: Hah! I got him good!
Gerrid: Me! It’s meant to say kick me!
J Savo: oh.
Gerrid: Yes, he's the founder of this very Campus. Darkus and Loki became IT teachers, and as for Iguana, well, she's going round to Mark's dorm tonight to hack into NASA.
Sheepy: Wait! What about me?
Gerrid: The story's over.
Sheepy: Oh, bagger. Well, erm, cya!
And off he went. The next few years were interesting for our little bloke-sheep fellow. But that's another spoof.
Thanks for reading
Microchips.
:D
Page:
Anytime, any chance you could return the favour on my SR big brother post?
Heh, cheers. Constructive criticism is the best feedback in a spoof, it tells you how to improve for your next one.
:)
:)
It was the best spoof I have read till they got to McDonalds. I went a little downhil from there but it was still great. Well done mate.
Tony wrote:
> Dark Mark™ wrote:
> LMFAO!!!!!!!!! Funniest thing I've read in ages!!
>
> No swearing please.
*
Aaaactually, Tony, the F in LMFAO can actually mean "fat". It just depends on where you were brought up. I was brought up in the slums of Calcutta, so my language, grammar and table manners are attrocious.
> Dark Mark™ wrote:
> LMFAO!!!!!!!!! Funniest thing I've read in ages!!
>
> No swearing please.
*
Aaaactually, Tony, the F in LMFAO can actually mean "fat". It just depends on where you were brought up. I was brought up in the slums of Calcutta, so my language, grammar and table manners are attrocious.
that could've been me with Iguana!
*cries*
*cries*
Trust Mark!
;)
;)
heh :)
Dark Mark™ wrote:
> LMFAO!!!!!!!!! Funniest thing I've read in ages!!
No swearing please.
> LMFAO!!!!!!!!! Funniest thing I've read in ages!!
No swearing please.
haven't read it yet but i've run a search for 'Hallo' and it didnt fidn anything therefore I'm not in it :0(...
will read it soon.
will read it soon.
I replied MoJo.
And cheers for the replies guys!
:D
And cheers for the replies guys!
:D
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