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It had been the best four weeks of his life.
Greg had met her at a small, dim pub in town called The Dirty Ape. It was his local, but it was the first time he'd ever seen her before.
He did wonder to himself though, as he sat at a table on his own casually trying to look as if he wasn't looking at her, if he'd seen her around town before. Sometimes you don't notice people, he thought.
But how could he have not noticed her?
And then he worked it out.
It was her smile. Every time she started chatting to the barman, and perhaps he'd tell a joke, she lit up like fireworks. Before that, perhaps, you couldn't really pick her out from the crowd. She sat stirring her drink with the little cocktail plastic thing that Greg had no idea what was called, and occasionally, her lips raised.
But it was a sad smile. A lonely smile.
Greg wasn't usually the type of person to make a move on women. He'd never used a chat up line in his life.
But, as things went, he thought he could do with a friend. Perhaps a drinking buddy. Not that John didn't drink, but..
Greg strode up to the girl and said hello. Perhaps it was the milk giving him a little more confidence, but he decided it'd be nice to make friends.
She said hello back, seemingly without any sign of nerves.
They started talking. Greg said that he hadn't seen her around here much, and she replied that she's lived in the area for so long, but never really went out.
She had decided to come to the pub tonight as she was leaving soon, and just wanted to have some memories of the place before she left.
And so they talked.
-----------
Her name was Penny. They met up in the pub every night for a few more nights, before Penny invited Greg back to her flat for some more milk.
Greg was very young when it happened, but there was a time when people would eat very unhealthily. So much, in fact, that the nation had become increasingly obese... and heart disease and cancer, was rife.
In a rash move, the Government at the time decided to completely ban the advertising of food and drink products. Nobody blinked an eye at the time, and nobody would have ever believed what happened because of it.
People started eating healthily. And stopped drinking alcohol. You'd think perhaps they banned alcohol, in order to promote a healthy life? It was a strange transition, but milk became the drink of choice. And alcohol companies went bust. It was still legal, at least for a while, but they had stopped making money. Analysts and critics couldn't believe their eyes. For so long nobody had really believed in the power of advertising. But, sure as it was, as soon as fast food, chocolate and alcohol was banned to advertise for.. the companies slowly lost all their money.
Penny cooked a meal for Greg. A stir fry. He'd never tasted anything like it. He was used to just eating pasta and bread.
They chatted over their glasses of milk, and she invited him to stay for the night.
"I can't." Greg replied. "It's.. I have to get back. It's not you, not at all.. I just.. I can't leave him on his own."
"Who? John?" Penny asked.
John was sitting in the flat Greg and he rented, watching the clock.
Laziness had been declared a mental illness. And as far as laziness went, John suffered by spades.
This of course actually helped him pay the rent though. Because he had been declared incapable of work because of his level 4 laziness, he was given money by the Government that covered anything he wanted to do.
But of course, there wasn't actually that much that John really wanted to do.
He played games, and watched tv serials. And drank milk.
That was about it. John had never been outside the flat since moving into it a few years ago. Everything he wanted he could get delivered on the internet, any sign of the milk running out and Greg would go down the shops.
But he didn't like being alone. He got scared when Greg left the house for a long time. He didn't like it at all.
------------
It was raining. John liked the rain outside. It made him feel comfy in his bed.
Greg was bringing the girl over to the house tonight. John felt a little anxious. He didn't like anyone to invade on his flat. And to be fair, it pretty much was his flat, more than Greg's. The money he received from his laziness payout more than covered the rent.
There was outcry when it was first announced that laziness was an incurable disease. The doctors threw all criticism aside, saying that the unlazies were simply jealous of the lazy. That they'd worked hard all their life, whilst the lazy people didn't have a chance of doing that.
They said it was about time mentally ill people were recognised for their problems. The Deficient Drive Disorder, as it was labelled, was the main cause of unemployment in the world. A cure was being worked on, but nobody held much hope.
The night came. Greg answered the door whilst John sat on the sofa in his science fiction pyjamas watching science fiction on tv.
"Heya!" Greg said to Penny, who was a bit damp from the rain which had been drizzling down all day.
She came in, and John didn't take his eyes from the tv. He was too lazy to, he decided. It wasn't his fault.
"This.. is John." Greg said.
John grunted. Sometimes his laziness made it difficult to form words, too.
Penny was very kind, and understanding. It wasn't John's fault, she knew. It was just the way he was.
The rain had stopped for a while, and they went out to look at the stars, and play some board game that John had bought off the internet a while ago but couldn't be bothered to play.
It wasn't always the big moments that make you realise. It's the small moments, and nobody ever tells you that. Films make out that revelations only occur in the dramatic moments. As Greg found out, this wasn't always true.
"Get out of jail free." Penny said.
And it was that moment that Greg realised he loved her.
But he didn't say anything, that would be daft. How could he love her? That was silly, he'd only known her two weeks. Things don't happen that fast.
At least.. that's what the movies tell us.
No, it was silly. Greg rolled the dice.
-------------
"Do you have any dreams?" Greg asked.
Penny looked as if she was concentrating. She looked up to the ceiling, then down to the cupboard on the side of the room.
They were sitting in Greg's bedroom now. John had made it obvious that he didn't want them in there as it was affecting his illness.
For a few moments they sat in silence.
"Penny?"
"Yes?"
"Do you have any dreams?"
"Oh sorry, I started thinking about something else." She replied.
Greg smiled, and Penny went back to looking around the room.
"I want to work with animals." Penny replied.
"What would you do with them?" Greg asked.
Penny started looking around the room again.
--------
Thunder echoed through the house, lightning cracking around a mile away. Penny couldn't drive, and it was absolutely chucking it down with rain.
"Stay here tonight." Greg offered. "You can have my room, I'll sleep on the sofa once John finds the energy to go to bed."
"Okey, thank you Greg." She replied.
And in the middle of the night, during the heavy rain that threw itself down in between the thunder, Greg felt her crawl onto the sofa with him.
"I was cold." She said. "Is it ok?"
"Sure." Greg said, excited.
But they didn't have sex. They did something better.
They lay together and fell asleep like lovers.
---------------
It had been the best four weeks of his life.
And now it was over.
Penny had to catch the train today. She was moving away. It was to follow her dreams. To work with animals.
A placement had come up on Jupiter and she was going to be given a job. A real job. It was what she wanted.
But as selfish as he felt, it was not what Greg wanted.
"As long as she's happy." Greg said to John. "That's all that matters."
John shook his glass, and Greg poured him some more milk.
"I'm going to be in such a mess when I get back John." Greg said. "I think we should rent a film or something. Anything to take my mind off it."
"Yeah." John managed.
And the time came quickly. 5:40. Greg left to go pick up Penny.
He had to be strong.
I mean.. he couldn't have loved her. Not really. It was too short a time.
He couldn't have loved her.
But he did.
------------------
John looked at the clock. It was 7pm, he thought. In fact it was 8 minutes past seven, but John couldn't be bothered with minutes.
Greg was late.
Very late.
The rental shop would be closing soon.
He hoped he came back before it did.
Maybe he was there already, just choosing a film.
-------------------
John woke up. It took him a while to find the energy to get out of bed, but when he did, he saw the house was empty.
Greg wasn't anywhere to be seen.
This was weird. Greg was never late.
John began to get anxious. Anxiety was a sign of laziness. Not everyone had it, because they were too lazy to feel emotions, but John did.
He checked the fridge. They had three cartons of milk. It wouldn't last.
Greg would be back soon, surely.
------------------
John began to wonder about what might have happened.
But he was too lazy to think, and decided to watch his favourite sci-fi show. From the beginning. All the way through.
------------------
They were out of milk.
Greg wasn't back.
By now John was getting angry. Why had Greg done this! He knew John was mentally ill. He couldn't look after himself. He couldn't..
He wondered about the milk. He didn't even know how to buy milk.
He tried the internet. He could order milk online!
But.. where do they sell milk?
John typed 'get milk' into the search engine. Pornography littered the screen. He looked past it, and discovered page after page of the wonders of milk, and how good it was for you.
But no shops.
----------------
John had read somewhere of something called a 'milkman'. He delivered milk to the house.
It took him a few hours, but he decided to open the door and look outside, to see if any milk had been delivered.
He stood by the door, in his science fiction pyjamas with lasers blasting and blowing up ships across the moving images on his cloth..
And he gently opened the door.
Nothing.
Nobody there. No milk. Nothing.
-------------------
Greg had been talking about this girl ever since he met her. A thought had occurred to John.
What if he'd got on the train with her?
He wouldn't do that.. surely. He knew that John was an invalid. He needed to be looked after. He would have left a message, wouldn't he?
--------------------
John watched another science fiction programme.
He loved watching them. They were about heroes. People who saved each other, saved the world. Fought the good fight. People who had desire to do things.
In a way John felt jealous. He wanted to be a hero too.. but his disability, it really crippled him.
He hoped for a cure one day. A cure to laziness. Until then, he had no choice but to stay inside. Watch sci-fi.
He was very thirsty.
----------------------
John sat by the door. He would have been standing, but he ran out of energy.
Nobody was going to buy him milk.
Greg had gone missing.
There was only one thing left he could do. He had to go outside and find Greg.
But unfortunately John lacked the confidence. Another symptom of laziness. It was what made him level 4 DDD. His complete, and utter, lack of faith in himself.
He would get lost.
He would get mugged. Murdered. Raped.
But he was left with no other choice.
He unlocked the door, took down the chain. And opened the door.
He was going to find Greg. He was going to be a hero. He was going to save him.
His quest had begun.
Greg had met her at a small, dim pub in town called The Dirty Ape. It was his local, but it was the first time he'd ever seen her before.
He did wonder to himself though, as he sat at a table on his own casually trying to look as if he wasn't looking at her, if he'd seen her around town before. Sometimes you don't notice people, he thought.
But how could he have not noticed her?
And then he worked it out.
It was her smile. Every time she started chatting to the barman, and perhaps he'd tell a joke, she lit up like fireworks. Before that, perhaps, you couldn't really pick her out from the crowd. She sat stirring her drink with the little cocktail plastic thing that Greg had no idea what was called, and occasionally, her lips raised.
But it was a sad smile. A lonely smile.
Greg wasn't usually the type of person to make a move on women. He'd never used a chat up line in his life.
But, as things went, he thought he could do with a friend. Perhaps a drinking buddy. Not that John didn't drink, but..
Greg strode up to the girl and said hello. Perhaps it was the milk giving him a little more confidence, but he decided it'd be nice to make friends.
She said hello back, seemingly without any sign of nerves.
They started talking. Greg said that he hadn't seen her around here much, and she replied that she's lived in the area for so long, but never really went out.
She had decided to come to the pub tonight as she was leaving soon, and just wanted to have some memories of the place before she left.
And so they talked.
-----------
Her name was Penny. They met up in the pub every night for a few more nights, before Penny invited Greg back to her flat for some more milk.
Greg was very young when it happened, but there was a time when people would eat very unhealthily. So much, in fact, that the nation had become increasingly obese... and heart disease and cancer, was rife.
In a rash move, the Government at the time decided to completely ban the advertising of food and drink products. Nobody blinked an eye at the time, and nobody would have ever believed what happened because of it.
People started eating healthily. And stopped drinking alcohol. You'd think perhaps they banned alcohol, in order to promote a healthy life? It was a strange transition, but milk became the drink of choice. And alcohol companies went bust. It was still legal, at least for a while, but they had stopped making money. Analysts and critics couldn't believe their eyes. For so long nobody had really believed in the power of advertising. But, sure as it was, as soon as fast food, chocolate and alcohol was banned to advertise for.. the companies slowly lost all their money.
Penny cooked a meal for Greg. A stir fry. He'd never tasted anything like it. He was used to just eating pasta and bread.
They chatted over their glasses of milk, and she invited him to stay for the night.
"I can't." Greg replied. "It's.. I have to get back. It's not you, not at all.. I just.. I can't leave him on his own."
"Who? John?" Penny asked.
John was sitting in the flat Greg and he rented, watching the clock.
Laziness had been declared a mental illness. And as far as laziness went, John suffered by spades.
This of course actually helped him pay the rent though. Because he had been declared incapable of work because of his level 4 laziness, he was given money by the Government that covered anything he wanted to do.
But of course, there wasn't actually that much that John really wanted to do.
He played games, and watched tv serials. And drank milk.
That was about it. John had never been outside the flat since moving into it a few years ago. Everything he wanted he could get delivered on the internet, any sign of the milk running out and Greg would go down the shops.
But he didn't like being alone. He got scared when Greg left the house for a long time. He didn't like it at all.
------------
It was raining. John liked the rain outside. It made him feel comfy in his bed.
Greg was bringing the girl over to the house tonight. John felt a little anxious. He didn't like anyone to invade on his flat. And to be fair, it pretty much was his flat, more than Greg's. The money he received from his laziness payout more than covered the rent.
There was outcry when it was first announced that laziness was an incurable disease. The doctors threw all criticism aside, saying that the unlazies were simply jealous of the lazy. That they'd worked hard all their life, whilst the lazy people didn't have a chance of doing that.
They said it was about time mentally ill people were recognised for their problems. The Deficient Drive Disorder, as it was labelled, was the main cause of unemployment in the world. A cure was being worked on, but nobody held much hope.
The night came. Greg answered the door whilst John sat on the sofa in his science fiction pyjamas watching science fiction on tv.
"Heya!" Greg said to Penny, who was a bit damp from the rain which had been drizzling down all day.
She came in, and John didn't take his eyes from the tv. He was too lazy to, he decided. It wasn't his fault.
"This.. is John." Greg said.
John grunted. Sometimes his laziness made it difficult to form words, too.
Penny was very kind, and understanding. It wasn't John's fault, she knew. It was just the way he was.
The rain had stopped for a while, and they went out to look at the stars, and play some board game that John had bought off the internet a while ago but couldn't be bothered to play.
It wasn't always the big moments that make you realise. It's the small moments, and nobody ever tells you that. Films make out that revelations only occur in the dramatic moments. As Greg found out, this wasn't always true.
"Get out of jail free." Penny said.
And it was that moment that Greg realised he loved her.
But he didn't say anything, that would be daft. How could he love her? That was silly, he'd only known her two weeks. Things don't happen that fast.
At least.. that's what the movies tell us.
No, it was silly. Greg rolled the dice.
-------------
"Do you have any dreams?" Greg asked.
Penny looked as if she was concentrating. She looked up to the ceiling, then down to the cupboard on the side of the room.
They were sitting in Greg's bedroom now. John had made it obvious that he didn't want them in there as it was affecting his illness.
For a few moments they sat in silence.
"Penny?"
"Yes?"
"Do you have any dreams?"
"Oh sorry, I started thinking about something else." She replied.
Greg smiled, and Penny went back to looking around the room.
"I want to work with animals." Penny replied.
"What would you do with them?" Greg asked.
Penny started looking around the room again.
--------
Thunder echoed through the house, lightning cracking around a mile away. Penny couldn't drive, and it was absolutely chucking it down with rain.
"Stay here tonight." Greg offered. "You can have my room, I'll sleep on the sofa once John finds the energy to go to bed."
"Okey, thank you Greg." She replied.
And in the middle of the night, during the heavy rain that threw itself down in between the thunder, Greg felt her crawl onto the sofa with him.
"I was cold." She said. "Is it ok?"
"Sure." Greg said, excited.
But they didn't have sex. They did something better.
They lay together and fell asleep like lovers.
---------------
It had been the best four weeks of his life.
And now it was over.
Penny had to catch the train today. She was moving away. It was to follow her dreams. To work with animals.
A placement had come up on Jupiter and she was going to be given a job. A real job. It was what she wanted.
But as selfish as he felt, it was not what Greg wanted.
"As long as she's happy." Greg said to John. "That's all that matters."
John shook his glass, and Greg poured him some more milk.
"I'm going to be in such a mess when I get back John." Greg said. "I think we should rent a film or something. Anything to take my mind off it."
"Yeah." John managed.
And the time came quickly. 5:40. Greg left to go pick up Penny.
He had to be strong.
I mean.. he couldn't have loved her. Not really. It was too short a time.
He couldn't have loved her.
But he did.
------------------
John looked at the clock. It was 7pm, he thought. In fact it was 8 minutes past seven, but John couldn't be bothered with minutes.
Greg was late.
Very late.
The rental shop would be closing soon.
He hoped he came back before it did.
Maybe he was there already, just choosing a film.
-------------------
John woke up. It took him a while to find the energy to get out of bed, but when he did, he saw the house was empty.
Greg wasn't anywhere to be seen.
This was weird. Greg was never late.
John began to get anxious. Anxiety was a sign of laziness. Not everyone had it, because they were too lazy to feel emotions, but John did.
He checked the fridge. They had three cartons of milk. It wouldn't last.
Greg would be back soon, surely.
------------------
John began to wonder about what might have happened.
But he was too lazy to think, and decided to watch his favourite sci-fi show. From the beginning. All the way through.
------------------
They were out of milk.
Greg wasn't back.
By now John was getting angry. Why had Greg done this! He knew John was mentally ill. He couldn't look after himself. He couldn't..
He wondered about the milk. He didn't even know how to buy milk.
He tried the internet. He could order milk online!
But.. where do they sell milk?
John typed 'get milk' into the search engine. Pornography littered the screen. He looked past it, and discovered page after page of the wonders of milk, and how good it was for you.
But no shops.
----------------
John had read somewhere of something called a 'milkman'. He delivered milk to the house.
It took him a few hours, but he decided to open the door and look outside, to see if any milk had been delivered.
He stood by the door, in his science fiction pyjamas with lasers blasting and blowing up ships across the moving images on his cloth..
And he gently opened the door.
Nothing.
Nobody there. No milk. Nothing.
-------------------
Greg had been talking about this girl ever since he met her. A thought had occurred to John.
What if he'd got on the train with her?
He wouldn't do that.. surely. He knew that John was an invalid. He needed to be looked after. He would have left a message, wouldn't he?
--------------------
John watched another science fiction programme.
He loved watching them. They were about heroes. People who saved each other, saved the world. Fought the good fight. People who had desire to do things.
In a way John felt jealous. He wanted to be a hero too.. but his disability, it really crippled him.
He hoped for a cure one day. A cure to laziness. Until then, he had no choice but to stay inside. Watch sci-fi.
He was very thirsty.
----------------------
John sat by the door. He would have been standing, but he ran out of energy.
Nobody was going to buy him milk.
Greg had gone missing.
There was only one thing left he could do. He had to go outside and find Greg.
But unfortunately John lacked the confidence. Another symptom of laziness. It was what made him level 4 DDD. His complete, and utter, lack of faith in himself.
He would get lost.
He would get mugged. Murdered. Raped.
But he was left with no other choice.
He unlocked the door, took down the chain. And opened the door.
He was going to find Greg. He was going to be a hero. He was going to save him.
His quest had begun.
This was strange, but an almost foreseeable future. Lots of nice ideas in here. A good start. Enjoyed it.
Oh, kay...
It had been the best four weeks of his life.
Greg had met her at a small, dim pub in town called The Dirty Ape. It was his local, but it was the first time he'd ever seen her before.
He did wonder to himself though, as he sat at a table on his own casually trying to look as if he wasn't looking at her, if he'd seen her around town before. Sometimes you don't notice people, he thought.
But how could he have not noticed her?
And then he worked it out.
It was her smile. Every time she started chatting to the barman, and perhaps he'd tell a joke, she lit up like fireworks. Before that, perhaps, you couldn't really pick her out from the crowd. She sat stirring her drink with the little cocktail plastic thing that Greg had no idea what was called, and occasionally, her lips raised.
But it was a sad smile. A lonely smile.
Greg wasn't usually the type of person to make a move on women. He'd never used a chat up line in his life.
But, as things went, he thought he could do with a friend. Perhaps a drinking buddy. Not that John didn't drink, but..
Greg strode up to the girl and said hello. Perhaps it was the milk giving him a little more confidence, but he decided it'd be nice to make friends.
She said hello back, seemingly without any sign of nerves.
They started talking. Greg said that he hadn't seen her around here much, and she replied that she's lived in the area for so long, but never really went out.
She had decided to come to the pub tonight as she was leaving soon, and just wanted to have some memories of the place before she left.
And so they talked.
-----------
Her name was Penny. They met up in the pub every night for a few more nights, before Penny invited Greg back to her flat for some more milk.
Greg was very young when it happened, but there was a time when people would eat very unhealthily. So much, in fact, that the nation had become increasingly obese... and heart disease and cancer, was rife.
In a rash move, the Government at the time decided to completely ban the advertising of food and drink products. Nobody blinked an eye at the time, and nobody would have ever believed what happened because of it.
People started eating healthily. And stopped drinking alcohol. You'd think perhaps they banned alcohol, in order to promote a healthy life? It was a strange transition, but milk became the drink of choice. And alcohol companies went bust. It was still legal, at least for a while, but they had stopped making money. Analysts and critics couldn't believe their eyes. For so long nobody had really believed in the power of advertising. But, sure as it was, as soon as fast food, chocolate and alcohol was banned to advertise for.. the companies slowly lost all their money.
Penny cooked a meal for Greg. A stir fry. He'd never tasted anything like it. He was used to just eating pasta and bread.
They chatted over their glasses of milk, and she invited him to stay for the night.
"I can't." Greg replied. "It's.. I have to get back. It's not you, not at all.. I just.. I can't leave him on his own."
"Who? John?" Penny asked.
John was sitting in the flat Greg and he rented, watching the clock.
Laziness had been declared a mental illness. And as far as laziness went, John suffered by spades.
This of course actually helped him pay the rent though. Because he had been declared incapable of work because of his level 4 laziness, he was given money by the Government that covered anything he wanted to do.
But of course, there wasn't actually that much that John really wanted to do.
He played games, and watched tv serials. And drank milk.
That was about it. John had never been outside the flat since moving into it a few years ago. Everything he wanted he could get delivered on the internet, any sign of the milk running out and Greg would go down the shops.
But he didn't like being alone. He got scared when Greg left the house for a long time. He didn't like it at all.
------------
It was raining. John liked the rain outside. It made him feel comfy in his bed.
Greg was bringing the girl over to the house tonight. John felt a little anxious. He didn't like anyone to invade on his flat. And to be fair, it pretty much was his flat, more than Greg's. The money he received from his laziness payout more than covered the rent.
There was outcry when it was first announced that laziness was an incurable disease. The doctors threw all criticism aside, saying that the unlazies were simply jealous of the lazy. That they'd worked hard all their life, whilst the lazy people didn't have a chance of doing that.
They said it was about time mentally ill people were recognised for their problems. The Deficient Drive Disorder, as it was labelled, was the main cause of unemployment in the world. A cure was being worked on, but nobody held much hope.
The night came. Greg answered the door whilst John sat on the sofa in his science fiction pyjamas watching science fiction on tv.
"Heya!" Greg said to Penny, who was a bit damp from the rain which had been drizzling down all day.
She came in, and John didn't take his eyes from the tv. He was too lazy to, he decided. It wasn't his fault.
"This.. is John." Greg said.
John grunted. Sometimes his laziness made it difficult to form words, too.
Penny was very kind, and understanding. It wasn't John's fault, she knew. It was just the way he was.
The rain had stopped for a while, and they went out to look at the stars, and play some board game that John had bought off the internet a while ago but couldn't be bothered to play.
It wasn't always the big moments that make you realise. It's the small moments, and nobody ever tells you that. Films make out that revelations only occur in the dramatic moments. As Greg found out, this wasn't always true.
"Get out of jail free." Penny said.
And it was that moment that Greg realised he loved her.
But he didn't say anything, that would be daft. How could he love her? That was silly, he'd only known her two weeks. Things don't happen that fast.
At least.. that's what the movies tell us.
No, it was silly. Greg rolled the dice.
-------------
"Do you have any dreams?" Greg asked.
Penny looked as if she was concentrating. She looked up to the ceiling, then down to the cupboard on the side of the room.
They were sitting in Greg's bedroom now. John had made it obvious that he didn't want them in there as it was affecting his illness.
For a few moments they sat in silence.
"Penny?"
"Yes?"
"Do you have any dreams?"
"Oh sorry, I started thinking about something else." She replied.
Greg smiled, and Penny went back to looking around the room.
"I want to work with animals." Penny replied.
"What would you do with them?" Greg asked.
Penny started looking around the room again.
--------
Thunder echoed through the house, lightning cracking around a mile away. Penny couldn't drive, and it was absolutely chucking it down with rain.
"Stay here tonight." Greg offered. "You can have my room, I'll sleep on the sofa once John finds the energy to go to bed."
"Okey, thank you Greg." She replied.
And in the middle of the night, during the heavy rain that threw itself down in between the thunder, Greg felt her crawl onto the sofa with him.
"I was cold." She said. "Is it ok?"
"Sure." Greg said, excited.
But they didn't have sex. They did something better.
They lay together and fell asleep like lovers.
---------------
It had been the best four weeks of his life.
And now it was over.
Penny had to catch the train today. She was moving away. It was to follow her dreams. To work with animals.
A placement had come up on Jupiter and she was going to be given a job. A real job. It was what she wanted.
But as selfish as he felt, it was not what Greg wanted.
"As long as she's happy." Greg said to John. "That's all that matters."
John shook his glass, and Greg poured him some more milk.
"I'm going to be in such a mess when I get back John." Greg said. "I think we should rent a film or something. Anything to take my mind off it."
"Yeah." John managed.
And the time came quickly. 5:40. Greg left to go pick up Penny.
He had to be strong.
I mean.. he couldn't have loved her. Not really. It was too short a time.
He couldn't have loved her.
But he did.
------------------
John looked at the clock. It was 7pm, he thought. In fact it was 8 minutes past seven, but John couldn't be bothered with minutes.
Greg was late.
Very late.
The rental shop would be closing soon.
He hoped he came back before it did.
Maybe he was there already, just choosing a film.
-------------------
John woke up. It took him a while to find the energy to get out of bed, but when he did, he saw the house was empty.
Greg wasn't anywhere to be seen.
This was weird. Greg was never late.
John began to get anxious. Anxiety was a sign of laziness. Not everyone had it, because they were too lazy to feel emotions, but John did.
He checked the fridge. They had three cartons of milk. It wouldn't last.
Greg would be back soon, surely.
------------------
John began to wonder about what might have happened.
But he was too lazy to think, and decided to watch his favourite sci-fi show. From the beginning. All the way through.
------------------
They were out of milk.
Greg wasn't back.
By now John was getting angry. Why had Greg done this! He knew John was mentally ill. He couldn't look after himself. He couldn't..
He wondered about the milk. He didn't even know how to buy milk.
He tried the internet. He could order milk online!
But.. where do they sell milk?
John typed 'get milk' into the search engine. Pornography littered the screen. He looked past it, and discovered page after page of the wonders of milk, and how good it was for you.
But no shops.
----------------
John had read somewhere of something called a 'milkman'. He delivered milk to the house.
It took him a few hours, but he decided to open the door and look outside, to see if any milk had been delivered.
He stood by the door, in his science fiction pyjamas with lasers blasting and blowing up ships across the moving images on his cloth..
And he gently opened the door.
Nothing.
Nobody there. No milk. Nothing.
-------------------
Greg had been talking about this girl ever since he met her. A thought had occurred to John.
What if he'd got on the train with her?
He wouldn't do that.. surely. He knew that John was an invalid. He needed to be looked after. He would have left a message, wouldn't he?
--------------------
John watched another science fiction programme.
He loved watching them. They were about heroes. People who saved each other, saved the world. Fought the good fight. People who had desire to do things.
In a way John felt jealous. He wanted to be a hero too.. but his disability, it really crippled him.
He hoped for a cure one day. A cure to laziness. Until then, he had no choice but to stay inside. Watch sci-fi.
He was very thirsty.
----------------------
John sat by the door. He would have been standing, but he ran out of energy.
Nobody was going to buy him milk.
Greg had gone missing.
There was only one thing left he could do. He had to go outside and find Greg.
But unfortunately John lacked the confidence. Another symptom of laziness. It was what made him level 4 DDD. His complete, and utter, lack of faith in himself.
He would get lost.
He would get mugged. Murdered. Raped.
But he was left with no other choice.
He unlocked the door, took down the chain. And opened the door.
He was going to find Greg. He was going to be a hero. He was going to save him.
His quest had begun.
Greg had met her at a small, dim pub in town called The Dirty Ape. It was his local, but it was the first time he'd ever seen her before.
He did wonder to himself though, as he sat at a table on his own casually trying to look as if he wasn't looking at her, if he'd seen her around town before. Sometimes you don't notice people, he thought.
But how could he have not noticed her?
And then he worked it out.
It was her smile. Every time she started chatting to the barman, and perhaps he'd tell a joke, she lit up like fireworks. Before that, perhaps, you couldn't really pick her out from the crowd. She sat stirring her drink with the little cocktail plastic thing that Greg had no idea what was called, and occasionally, her lips raised.
But it was a sad smile. A lonely smile.
Greg wasn't usually the type of person to make a move on women. He'd never used a chat up line in his life.
But, as things went, he thought he could do with a friend. Perhaps a drinking buddy. Not that John didn't drink, but..
Greg strode up to the girl and said hello. Perhaps it was the milk giving him a little more confidence, but he decided it'd be nice to make friends.
She said hello back, seemingly without any sign of nerves.
They started talking. Greg said that he hadn't seen her around here much, and she replied that she's lived in the area for so long, but never really went out.
She had decided to come to the pub tonight as she was leaving soon, and just wanted to have some memories of the place before she left.
And so they talked.
-----------
Her name was Penny. They met up in the pub every night for a few more nights, before Penny invited Greg back to her flat for some more milk.
Greg was very young when it happened, but there was a time when people would eat very unhealthily. So much, in fact, that the nation had become increasingly obese... and heart disease and cancer, was rife.
In a rash move, the Government at the time decided to completely ban the advertising of food and drink products. Nobody blinked an eye at the time, and nobody would have ever believed what happened because of it.
People started eating healthily. And stopped drinking alcohol. You'd think perhaps they banned alcohol, in order to promote a healthy life? It was a strange transition, but milk became the drink of choice. And alcohol companies went bust. It was still legal, at least for a while, but they had stopped making money. Analysts and critics couldn't believe their eyes. For so long nobody had really believed in the power of advertising. But, sure as it was, as soon as fast food, chocolate and alcohol was banned to advertise for.. the companies slowly lost all their money.
Penny cooked a meal for Greg. A stir fry. He'd never tasted anything like it. He was used to just eating pasta and bread.
They chatted over their glasses of milk, and she invited him to stay for the night.
"I can't." Greg replied. "It's.. I have to get back. It's not you, not at all.. I just.. I can't leave him on his own."
"Who? John?" Penny asked.
John was sitting in the flat Greg and he rented, watching the clock.
Laziness had been declared a mental illness. And as far as laziness went, John suffered by spades.
This of course actually helped him pay the rent though. Because he had been declared incapable of work because of his level 4 laziness, he was given money by the Government that covered anything he wanted to do.
But of course, there wasn't actually that much that John really wanted to do.
He played games, and watched tv serials. And drank milk.
That was about it. John had never been outside the flat since moving into it a few years ago. Everything he wanted he could get delivered on the internet, any sign of the milk running out and Greg would go down the shops.
But he didn't like being alone. He got scared when Greg left the house for a long time. He didn't like it at all.
------------
It was raining. John liked the rain outside. It made him feel comfy in his bed.
Greg was bringing the girl over to the house tonight. John felt a little anxious. He didn't like anyone to invade on his flat. And to be fair, it pretty much was his flat, more than Greg's. The money he received from his laziness payout more than covered the rent.
There was outcry when it was first announced that laziness was an incurable disease. The doctors threw all criticism aside, saying that the unlazies were simply jealous of the lazy. That they'd worked hard all their life, whilst the lazy people didn't have a chance of doing that.
They said it was about time mentally ill people were recognised for their problems. The Deficient Drive Disorder, as it was labelled, was the main cause of unemployment in the world. A cure was being worked on, but nobody held much hope.
The night came. Greg answered the door whilst John sat on the sofa in his science fiction pyjamas watching science fiction on tv.
"Heya!" Greg said to Penny, who was a bit damp from the rain which had been drizzling down all day.
She came in, and John didn't take his eyes from the tv. He was too lazy to, he decided. It wasn't his fault.
"This.. is John." Greg said.
John grunted. Sometimes his laziness made it difficult to form words, too.
Penny was very kind, and understanding. It wasn't John's fault, she knew. It was just the way he was.
The rain had stopped for a while, and they went out to look at the stars, and play some board game that John had bought off the internet a while ago but couldn't be bothered to play.
It wasn't always the big moments that make you realise. It's the small moments, and nobody ever tells you that. Films make out that revelations only occur in the dramatic moments. As Greg found out, this wasn't always true.
"Get out of jail free." Penny said.
And it was that moment that Greg realised he loved her.
But he didn't say anything, that would be daft. How could he love her? That was silly, he'd only known her two weeks. Things don't happen that fast.
At least.. that's what the movies tell us.
No, it was silly. Greg rolled the dice.
-------------
"Do you have any dreams?" Greg asked.
Penny looked as if she was concentrating. She looked up to the ceiling, then down to the cupboard on the side of the room.
They were sitting in Greg's bedroom now. John had made it obvious that he didn't want them in there as it was affecting his illness.
For a few moments they sat in silence.
"Penny?"
"Yes?"
"Do you have any dreams?"
"Oh sorry, I started thinking about something else." She replied.
Greg smiled, and Penny went back to looking around the room.
"I want to work with animals." Penny replied.
"What would you do with them?" Greg asked.
Penny started looking around the room again.
--------
Thunder echoed through the house, lightning cracking around a mile away. Penny couldn't drive, and it was absolutely chucking it down with rain.
"Stay here tonight." Greg offered. "You can have my room, I'll sleep on the sofa once John finds the energy to go to bed."
"Okey, thank you Greg." She replied.
And in the middle of the night, during the heavy rain that threw itself down in between the thunder, Greg felt her crawl onto the sofa with him.
"I was cold." She said. "Is it ok?"
"Sure." Greg said, excited.
But they didn't have sex. They did something better.
They lay together and fell asleep like lovers.
---------------
It had been the best four weeks of his life.
And now it was over.
Penny had to catch the train today. She was moving away. It was to follow her dreams. To work with animals.
A placement had come up on Jupiter and she was going to be given a job. A real job. It was what she wanted.
But as selfish as he felt, it was not what Greg wanted.
"As long as she's happy." Greg said to John. "That's all that matters."
John shook his glass, and Greg poured him some more milk.
"I'm going to be in such a mess when I get back John." Greg said. "I think we should rent a film or something. Anything to take my mind off it."
"Yeah." John managed.
And the time came quickly. 5:40. Greg left to go pick up Penny.
He had to be strong.
I mean.. he couldn't have loved her. Not really. It was too short a time.
He couldn't have loved her.
But he did.
------------------
John looked at the clock. It was 7pm, he thought. In fact it was 8 minutes past seven, but John couldn't be bothered with minutes.
Greg was late.
Very late.
The rental shop would be closing soon.
He hoped he came back before it did.
Maybe he was there already, just choosing a film.
-------------------
John woke up. It took him a while to find the energy to get out of bed, but when he did, he saw the house was empty.
Greg wasn't anywhere to be seen.
This was weird. Greg was never late.
John began to get anxious. Anxiety was a sign of laziness. Not everyone had it, because they were too lazy to feel emotions, but John did.
He checked the fridge. They had three cartons of milk. It wouldn't last.
Greg would be back soon, surely.
------------------
John began to wonder about what might have happened.
But he was too lazy to think, and decided to watch his favourite sci-fi show. From the beginning. All the way through.
------------------
They were out of milk.
Greg wasn't back.
By now John was getting angry. Why had Greg done this! He knew John was mentally ill. He couldn't look after himself. He couldn't..
He wondered about the milk. He didn't even know how to buy milk.
He tried the internet. He could order milk online!
But.. where do they sell milk?
John typed 'get milk' into the search engine. Pornography littered the screen. He looked past it, and discovered page after page of the wonders of milk, and how good it was for you.
But no shops.
----------------
John had read somewhere of something called a 'milkman'. He delivered milk to the house.
It took him a few hours, but he decided to open the door and look outside, to see if any milk had been delivered.
He stood by the door, in his science fiction pyjamas with lasers blasting and blowing up ships across the moving images on his cloth..
And he gently opened the door.
Nothing.
Nobody there. No milk. Nothing.
-------------------
Greg had been talking about this girl ever since he met her. A thought had occurred to John.
What if he'd got on the train with her?
He wouldn't do that.. surely. He knew that John was an invalid. He needed to be looked after. He would have left a message, wouldn't he?
--------------------
John watched another science fiction programme.
He loved watching them. They were about heroes. People who saved each other, saved the world. Fought the good fight. People who had desire to do things.
In a way John felt jealous. He wanted to be a hero too.. but his disability, it really crippled him.
He hoped for a cure one day. A cure to laziness. Until then, he had no choice but to stay inside. Watch sci-fi.
He was very thirsty.
----------------------
John sat by the door. He would have been standing, but he ran out of energy.
Nobody was going to buy him milk.
Greg had gone missing.
There was only one thing left he could do. He had to go outside and find Greg.
But unfortunately John lacked the confidence. Another symptom of laziness. It was what made him level 4 DDD. His complete, and utter, lack of faith in himself.
He would get lost.
He would get mugged. Murdered. Raped.
But he was left with no other choice.
He unlocked the door, took down the chain. And opened the door.
He was going to find Greg. He was going to be a hero. He was going to save him.
His quest had begun.