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That rather mysterious region, far below the normal height of view, where dark and dirty dealings go on, and rather odd things come from. No not from Cornwall (im from Devon - I'm allowed to!) but from the nether regions of consoles. Those obsucre ads in the back of games magazines, for games made by the companies themselves, and all those peculiar consoles that never really seemed to go anywhere........
This is an odd place in the gaming world. Chancey dealers go against the 'Big Three' and attepmt to make consoles, te perhaps recover their former glory, say, like Jaguar etc. Well. Here are some consoles that you may never have heard of. Mainly because they sucked......or never existed. :D .............................
MICROSOFT IODICUS TESTER KITmk 345
This was a preliminary tester console, created in the early 1990s, to see what reaction would occur if Microsoft released a console. However, the console itself was so poor, that people actualy ignored it completely. Which is why the XBox came out in 2001. And is still ignored completly........... ;)
HALLSWORTHY GAMER
Designed to contest with the tape-chewing consoes of your, this little beastie actualy ran games off bits of paper, which were fed into the console, and decoded by the highly advanced 50k/hz processor inside. However, the console needed so much paper, for such simple games as Pacboy (a clone of Pacman) that many testers destroyed the machine in frustration, hence it never appeared.
TAKE THAT! THE CONSOLE
Does exaclty what it says on the, er, tin. 'Played' rubbish music (on special Take That TapesTM), was a bit fake, and relied on masses of girls buying it. However, there was one small flaw in the plan. Masses of screaming girls did not rush out to buy the product, as it was not really an 8yr olds 'thing'. Added to the fact it destroyed itself and launched several annoying offspring.......... including the handheld RobbieTron, which is rumoured to be making a comeback soon.........
THE HIP-STER
A pathetic attempt by the Conservative party to 'ensnare' youth (in Maggies own words) by making them play politicly minded games. Unfortunatly, At The UN with Khrushchev did not work. Too much banging, not enough killing, was the general consumer response. The console was soon dumped.
PROPER-GANDA
Created by the Staines Massiv' after Ali Gs rise, this was designed to capitalise on Sasha Baron Cohens success. Unfortunatly, it never passed the cynical Yuppies of London, and was canned for lack of 'viz'. Added to the fact it appealed to about 2,000 people.
------
Never heard of them? Shame on you!
:D
This is an odd place in the gaming world. Chancey dealers go against the 'Big Three' and attepmt to make consoles, te perhaps recover their former glory, say, like Jaguar etc. Well. Here are some consoles that you may never have heard of. Mainly because they sucked......or never existed. :D .............................
MICROSOFT IODICUS TESTER KITmk 345
This was a preliminary tester console, created in the early 1990s, to see what reaction would occur if Microsoft released a console. However, the console itself was so poor, that people actualy ignored it completely. Which is why the XBox came out in 2001. And is still ignored completly........... ;)
HALLSWORTHY GAMER
Designed to contest with the tape-chewing consoes of your, this little beastie actualy ran games off bits of paper, which were fed into the console, and decoded by the highly advanced 50k/hz processor inside. However, the console needed so much paper, for such simple games as Pacboy (a clone of Pacman) that many testers destroyed the machine in frustration, hence it never appeared.
TAKE THAT! THE CONSOLE
Does exaclty what it says on the, er, tin. 'Played' rubbish music (on special Take That TapesTM), was a bit fake, and relied on masses of girls buying it. However, there was one small flaw in the plan. Masses of screaming girls did not rush out to buy the product, as it was not really an 8yr olds 'thing'. Added to the fact it destroyed itself and launched several annoying offspring.......... including the handheld RobbieTron, which is rumoured to be making a comeback soon.........
THE HIP-STER
A pathetic attempt by the Conservative party to 'ensnare' youth (in Maggies own words) by making them play politicly minded games. Unfortunatly, At The UN with Khrushchev did not work. Too much banging, not enough killing, was the general consumer response. The console was soon dumped.
PROPER-GANDA
Created by the Staines Massiv' after Ali Gs rise, this was designed to capitalise on Sasha Baron Cohens success. Unfortunatly, it never passed the cynical Yuppies of London, and was canned for lack of 'viz'. Added to the fact it appealed to about 2,000 people.
------
Never heard of them? Shame on you!
:D
*Pop!* Ahhhh.........forget it.
;)
;)
That rather mysterious region, far below the normal height of view, where dark and dirty dealings go on, and rather odd things come from. No not from Cornwall (im from Devon - I'm allowed to!) but from the nether regions of consoles. Those obsucre ads in the back of games magazines, for games made by the companies themselves, and all those peculiar consoles that never really seemed to go anywhere........
This is an odd place in the gaming world. Chancey dealers go against the 'Big Three' and attepmt to make consoles, te perhaps recover their former glory, say, like Jaguar etc. Well. Here are some consoles that you may never have heard of. Mainly because they sucked......or never existed. :D .............................
MICROSOFT IODICUS TESTER KITmk 345
This was a preliminary tester console, created in the early 1990s, to see what reaction would occur if Microsoft released a console. However, the console itself was so poor, that people actualy ignored it completely. Which is why the XBox came out in 2001. And is still ignored completly........... ;)
HALLSWORTHY GAMER
Designed to contest with the tape-chewing consoes of your, this little beastie actualy ran games off bits of paper, which were fed into the console, and decoded by the highly advanced 50k/hz processor inside. However, the console needed so much paper, for such simple games as Pacboy (a clone of Pacman) that many testers destroyed the machine in frustration, hence it never appeared.
TAKE THAT! THE CONSOLE
Does exaclty what it says on the, er, tin. 'Played' rubbish music (on special Take That TapesTM), was a bit fake, and relied on masses of girls buying it. However, there was one small flaw in the plan. Masses of screaming girls did not rush out to buy the product, as it was not really an 8yr olds 'thing'. Added to the fact it destroyed itself and launched several annoying offspring.......... including the handheld RobbieTron, which is rumoured to be making a comeback soon.........
THE HIP-STER
A pathetic attempt by the Conservative party to 'ensnare' youth (in Maggies own words) by making them play politicly minded games. Unfortunatly, At The UN with Khrushchev did not work. Too much banging, not enough killing, was the general consumer response. The console was soon dumped.
PROPER-GANDA
Created by the Staines Massiv' after Ali Gs rise, this was designed to capitalise on Sasha Baron Cohens success. Unfortunatly, it never passed the cynical Yuppies of London, and was canned for lack of 'viz'. Added to the fact it appealed to about 2,000 people.
------
Never heard of them? Shame on you!
:D
This is an odd place in the gaming world. Chancey dealers go against the 'Big Three' and attepmt to make consoles, te perhaps recover their former glory, say, like Jaguar etc. Well. Here are some consoles that you may never have heard of. Mainly because they sucked......or never existed. :D .............................
MICROSOFT IODICUS TESTER KITmk 345
This was a preliminary tester console, created in the early 1990s, to see what reaction would occur if Microsoft released a console. However, the console itself was so poor, that people actualy ignored it completely. Which is why the XBox came out in 2001. And is still ignored completly........... ;)
HALLSWORTHY GAMER
Designed to contest with the tape-chewing consoes of your, this little beastie actualy ran games off bits of paper, which were fed into the console, and decoded by the highly advanced 50k/hz processor inside. However, the console needed so much paper, for such simple games as Pacboy (a clone of Pacman) that many testers destroyed the machine in frustration, hence it never appeared.
TAKE THAT! THE CONSOLE
Does exaclty what it says on the, er, tin. 'Played' rubbish music (on special Take That TapesTM), was a bit fake, and relied on masses of girls buying it. However, there was one small flaw in the plan. Masses of screaming girls did not rush out to buy the product, as it was not really an 8yr olds 'thing'. Added to the fact it destroyed itself and launched several annoying offspring.......... including the handheld RobbieTron, which is rumoured to be making a comeback soon.........
THE HIP-STER
A pathetic attempt by the Conservative party to 'ensnare' youth (in Maggies own words) by making them play politicly minded games. Unfortunatly, At The UN with Khrushchev did not work. Too much banging, not enough killing, was the general consumer response. The console was soon dumped.
PROPER-GANDA
Created by the Staines Massiv' after Ali Gs rise, this was designed to capitalise on Sasha Baron Cohens success. Unfortunatly, it never passed the cynical Yuppies of London, and was canned for lack of 'viz'. Added to the fact it appealed to about 2,000 people.
------
Never heard of them? Shame on you!
:D