The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
"Hey, look at THAT console!" they say, in their harsh mocking tones. They discriminate. They call it fat, when really it's to hold more circuitry. There's more console to love. But no, they don't think like that. They think like sharks, looking for a new weakness to exploit in order to finally taste blood. They racially abuse it, making fun of the green blob that identifies it's heritage. They make fun of Microsoft, it's family. It's OK for everybody to laugh and joke and point at the XBOX, it's from Bill Gates! You don't need to take its feeling into consideration, because it's a PC in a box! Do you not realise how stupid that statement is? That's like saying a boy is a girl in a boy's body, just because they have a female cousin. But it doesn't matter, not really, because at the end of it it's just the XBOX. Everyone's punching bag. Which is funny really, because if you punch it, it really bloody hurts your knuckles.
Have you ever actually sat down and really played an XBOX? I don't mean round a mate's for a half hour on Halo multiplayer, or five minutes trying Amped in the local Game. I mean, really PLAYED one. It's fine to stand and say what you like about a poor, defenceless console, especially when you haven't actually tried it. Well deep down, underneath that oft-ridiculed exterior, there's a great console to be had. There's Halo, and there's Jet Set Radio, and there's Shenmue, and lots and lots of other great games. There's XBOX Live, there's the Steel Battalion controller. If you weren't all so small-minded and prejudiced, you'd learn to love the XBOX, but no...no, you have to be cool and have a PS2 and pretend to be big and violent with GTA. Maybe you're a "true gamer" and only buy Nintendo because being a fat moustachio-ed plumber is so fun. Well, really it's irrelevant, as you all make fun of the XBOX.
Ever thought about the consequences? When you leave the store, when the name-calling and the girlish giggling has ceased, when the lights go out and the boxes sit in the black darkness, all alone with nobody to love them and play them and enjoy them? What happens then? I'll tell you what. They cry. At night, every single XBOX that isn't reasonably active cries itsself to sleep. Crying not always for themselves, for the names THEY've been called, the things THEY've been subjected to...sometimes crying for XBOXes everywhere. They sit and they sob for hours, because nobody will love them. Nobody can get over the man-sized controller, everyone's scared by the raw power, intimidated by the statistics and numbers. So what if the XBOX is big and powerful? So what if it's better than the PS2 or Gamecube hardware? Does it go around laughing at THEM? No. They all have owners. Even the purple Gamecubes have owners.
It's a sad thing when a console dies before it's fifth birthday. There are cot-deaths, but they are always rare. However, to have something so great as the Dreamcast pass on at such an early age, and then have the XBOX mercilessly bullied before it's a year old is truly crushing. So next time you go to the shop, or go round a friend's house and see an XBOX, think twice before making a snide comment, or witty one-liner. Consoles have feelings too. Next time you see an XBOX, I hope you see a small dried tear in the corner of its eye...and I hope you feel guilty, and buy it. You won't regret it, and it'll be one less lost soul to cry to sleep for.
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
> How lame....
>
> Ooo lets wait for the: -
>
> "Its wrong owning a Gamecube" posts next....
You didn't actually read the post did you?
More evidence that Xbox owners are stupidly paranoid and can't take any form of criticism...even if it's not actually criticism.
:-\
Anyone recieved the new Next Directory? It's a hardback, for chrissakes.
Ooo lets wait for the: -
"Its wrong owning a Gamecube" posts next....
"Hey, look at THAT console!" they say, in their harsh mocking tones. They discriminate. They call it fat, when really it's to hold more circuitry. There's more console to love. But no, they don't think like that. They think like sharks, looking for a new weakness to exploit in order to finally taste blood. They racially abuse it, making fun of the green blob that identifies it's heritage. They make fun of Microsoft, it's family. It's OK for everybody to laugh and joke and point at the XBOX, it's from Bill Gates! You don't need to take its feeling into consideration, because it's a PC in a box! Do you not realise how stupid that statement is? That's like saying a boy is a girl in a boy's body, just because they have a female cousin. But it doesn't matter, not really, because at the end of it it's just the XBOX. Everyone's punching bag. Which is funny really, because if you punch it, it really bloody hurts your knuckles.
Have you ever actually sat down and really played an XBOX? I don't mean round a mate's for a half hour on Halo multiplayer, or five minutes trying Amped in the local Game. I mean, really PLAYED one. It's fine to stand and say what you like about a poor, defenceless console, especially when you haven't actually tried it. Well deep down, underneath that oft-ridiculed exterior, there's a great console to be had. There's Halo, and there's Jet Set Radio, and there's Shenmue, and lots and lots of other great games. There's XBOX Live, there's the Steel Battalion controller. If you weren't all so small-minded and prejudiced, you'd learn to love the XBOX, but no...no, you have to be cool and have a PS2 and pretend to be big and violent with GTA. Maybe you're a "true gamer" and only buy Nintendo because being a fat moustachio-ed plumber is so fun. Well, really it's irrelevant, as you all make fun of the XBOX.
Ever thought about the consequences? When you leave the store, when the name-calling and the girlish giggling has ceased, when the lights go out and the boxes sit in the black darkness, all alone with nobody to love them and play them and enjoy them? What happens then? I'll tell you what. They cry. At night, every single XBOX that isn't reasonably active cries itsself to sleep. Crying not always for themselves, for the names THEY've been called, the things THEY've been subjected to...sometimes crying for XBOXes everywhere. They sit and they sob for hours, because nobody will love them. Nobody can get over the man-sized controller, everyone's scared by the raw power, intimidated by the statistics and numbers. So what if the XBOX is big and powerful? So what if it's better than the PS2 or Gamecube hardware? Does it go around laughing at THEM? No. They all have owners. Even the purple Gamecubes have owners.
It's a sad thing when a console dies before it's fifth birthday. There are cot-deaths, but they are always rare. However, to have something so great as the Dreamcast pass on at such an early age, and then have the XBOX mercilessly bullied before it's a year old is truly crushing. So next time you go to the shop, or go round a friend's house and see an XBOX, think twice before making a snide comment, or witty one-liner. Consoles have feelings too. Next time you see an XBOX, I hope you see a small dried tear in the corner of its eye...and I hope you feel guilty, and buy it. You won't regret it, and it'll be one less lost soul to cry to sleep for.
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey