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"I, Grubtub Fungus"

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Sun 01/12/02 at 17:24
Regular
Posts: 787
I, Grubtub Fungus, am not a monster. Nor am I pro-war, fascist, or anything else that society deems ‘wrong’. So why is it that I am constantly harassed, and looked down upon by so many people?

A Grubtub life is a peaceful one. We’re not constantly rushing round, slaving over work and trying to scrape together our minimum wage to afford a brief escape from a miserably dreary life. I spend my time happily in the fields and hills of the countryside, enjoying the fresh air and beautiful scenery. I don’t bother anyone, and no one bothers me.

So why did I spend half of yesterday hopping like mad trying to escape from some young Earthwalkers who were trying to catch me? Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe any Grubtub Fungus has ever chased you in the street, trying to get you to fill out a survey, or knocked on your door and spent half an hour trying to convert you to some dodgy religion. So why do I spend much of my time trying to escape from things intent on giving me a large helping of physical abuse?

It would be nice if just once, someone came looking for me to ask if I wanted to go on a picnic, or watch a film together. But the only time anyone seems to come looking for me is when they feel like a bit of gratuitous violence. I don’t recall any Grubtub Fungus having plans for world domination, or sneaking into towns under the cover of darkness to steal your kiddies away. No history records show a Grubtub trying to usurp power, or leading an army into war. So what reason does everyone have for taking it out on us?

Did a Grubtub Fungus ever hurl abuse at you in the street? Or urinate through your letterbox after a drunken binge? No. Did a Grubtub Fungus ever try and sell you double glazing over the phone? Graffiti or mug old ladies in the street? NO! So for heavens sake, leave us along!

We keep the soil rich, look after the flowers, some of us can even be used to make people feel better, and cure poisons. Does that sounds like the type of creature you’d want to obliterate from the planet? How do you sleep at night knowing that your eating such gentle, helpful creatures? All I ask is that we’re shown a bit of respect, and treated in a way we deserve.

I don’t do all this work just so some brute of a fox can thump me over the head with a large stick, just to use as fodder for his small companion.

I’m minding my own business, and

*WHACK*









Everything goes black.
Sun 01/12/02 at 18:20
Regular
Posts: 11,875
gerrid wrote:
> Whitestripes wrote:
> Yes, they are mushrooms you have to kill to feed to Tricky.
> ***
> Yes. Tricky. His imaginary friend. Who he feeds mushrooms. Absolutely
> crazy.

It's in a game Gerrid, a computer game.

But you wouldn't know that, they don't let you play games do they Gerrid? Kept finding you in puddles of your own dribble and trying to grab the character on the screen.
Sun 01/12/02 at 18:09
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Whitestripes wrote:
> Yes, they are mushrooms you have to kill to feed to Tricky.

Yes. Tricky. His imaginary friend. Who he feeds mushrooms. Absolutely crazy.
Sun 01/12/02 at 18:07
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Coming from the madman who said "your crazy".
Sun 01/12/02 at 18:02
Posts: 0
Lol, this is fun.
Sun 01/12/02 at 17:59
Regular
Posts: 11,875
gerrid wrote:

> Where's my crazy?

Theres you proof that Gerrid is crazy.

He can't even handle simple sentences anymore..
Sun 01/12/02 at 17:58
Regular
Posts: 11,875
Blank wrote:
> Is a grubtub fungus something from Starfox?

Yes, they are mushrooms you have to kill to feed to Tricky.
Sun 01/12/02 at 17:57
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Whitestripes wrote:
> But I wouldn't expect you to know that, your crazy after all.

Where's my crazy?
You're the only crazy thing around here, WS. Are you refering to yourself again?
Sun 01/12/02 at 17:55
Regular
"twothousandandtits"
Posts: 11,024
Is a grubtub fungus something from Starfox?
Sun 01/12/02 at 17:54
Regular
Posts: 11,875
No Gerrid, it's called a computer.

But I wouldn't expect you to know that, your crazy after all.
Sun 01/12/02 at 17:53
Posts: 0
I expect WS feels woozy after that blood loss.

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