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Well, in an attempt to make The Getaway less of a spectacular failure than it is doomed to be (development life of 6 trillion years, development cost of 60 trillion pounds), Sony have decided to make t-shirts so when you pre-order the game, you get a t-shirt so everybody knows you own a game that has swearing and violence in. Nice. Elsewhere, in Japan (and from what I've heard, America and Europe too) when you pre-order the new Zelda game, you get a Gamecube conversion of the OoT, as well as never released Ura Zelda. The question is, what possible pack-ins could other upcoming games use?
BMX XXX
A free tub of vaseline and box of tissues. Hur hur.
BMX XXX (GBA)
A smaller free tub of vaseline and three tissues. Alternatively, a porn magazine because the makers feel sorry for you not being able to properly see what you bought the game for, on account of that pesky dark screen.
CHAMPIONSHIP MANAGER 4
Packed in with this PC title would be a pair of thick-rimmed black spectacles, complete with a prescription sheet to be filled out by your local optician. Why? Because if you buy this game you are obviously a spreadsheet loving nerd!
RAYMAN 3
This could come with a great big meat cleaver, or possibly a chainsaw so that you too can become a limbless freak, just like Rayman!
MORTAL KOMBAT: DEADLY ALLIANCE
This pack-in gift is quite complicated, and you have to put it together yourself. You get a fully operational (when assembled, of course) projectile harpoon. Just slit open your arm as shown in the instruction manual, slap it in and then whenever you shout out "get over here" a shiny bolt of bloody destruction will fly out of your palm!
TOMB RAIDER: ANGEL OF DARKNESS
Much like BMX XXX on GBA, the developers, feeling a bit guilty, would give you a free porn pamagzine.
METAL GEAR SOLID 2: SUBSTANCE (PS2)
A little like The Getaway, this one. Konami could give all pre-ordering customers of this a t-shirt...with "I AM A BIG FAT SUCKER" on the front. For obvious reasons.
SUPER MONKEY BALL 2
Free with this game, you would get a large, plastic hollow transparent ball. Theoretically speaking you could trap a monkey inside and roll it around in a maze, or atop a tilting platform. Sega would like the RSPCA to know that this is strictly not advised, although it is possible. Theoretically.
DEUS EX 2
This would be released in a number of different limited editions, which come free with real augmentations so that you can see in the dark, pick locks in seconds or stay underwater for long amounts of time! Also, they would come free with a crate so that if ever there's something hard that you can't do, just climb on/blow up/move the crate and the problem will always be solved!
GTA VICE CITY (PC)
Another piece of clothing here, as Rockstar combines the two greatest aspects of the game, the 80s and violence, and create...a hawaiin shirt made out of explosives and guns and knives!!!
GIO GIO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE
This would come with a big poster of someone squinting, so that you can put it on the wall as a constant reminder of how darn weird you are.
STEEL BATTALION
As a sort of 'sorry' for costing about £250, this game would actually come free with a prosthetic arm. The extra limb would mean you'd finally be able to negotiate that huge controller. Oh, and it might help for the special SB one, too! Hah! Get it? Because the XBOX is big? Ahaha...I'll get me coat.
So, on that MS-bashing note, I end. Have you lot got any ideas?
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
BMX XXX
A free tub of vaseline and box of tissues. Hur hur.
BMX XXX (GBA)
A smaller free tub of vaseline and three tissues. Alternatively, a porn magazine because the makers feel sorry for you not being able to properly see what you bought the game for, on account of that pesky dark screen.
CHAMPIONSHIP MANAGER 4
Packed in with this PC title would be a pair of thick-rimmed black spectacles, complete with a prescription sheet to be filled out by your local optician. Why? Because if you buy this game you are obviously a spreadsheet loving nerd!
RAYMAN 3
This could come with a great big meat cleaver, or possibly a chainsaw so that you too can become a limbless freak, just like Rayman!
MORTAL KOMBAT: DEADLY ALLIANCE
This pack-in gift is quite complicated, and you have to put it together yourself. You get a fully operational (when assembled, of course) projectile harpoon. Just slit open your arm as shown in the instruction manual, slap it in and then whenever you shout out "get over here" a shiny bolt of bloody destruction will fly out of your palm!
TOMB RAIDER: ANGEL OF DARKNESS
Much like BMX XXX on GBA, the developers, feeling a bit guilty, would give you a free porn pamagzine.
METAL GEAR SOLID 2: SUBSTANCE (PS2)
A little like The Getaway, this one. Konami could give all pre-ordering customers of this a t-shirt...with "I AM A BIG FAT SUCKER" on the front. For obvious reasons.
SUPER MONKEY BALL 2
Free with this game, you would get a large, plastic hollow transparent ball. Theoretically speaking you could trap a monkey inside and roll it around in a maze, or atop a tilting platform. Sega would like the RSPCA to know that this is strictly not advised, although it is possible. Theoretically.
DEUS EX 2
This would be released in a number of different limited editions, which come free with real augmentations so that you can see in the dark, pick locks in seconds or stay underwater for long amounts of time! Also, they would come free with a crate so that if ever there's something hard that you can't do, just climb on/blow up/move the crate and the problem will always be solved!
GTA VICE CITY (PC)
Another piece of clothing here, as Rockstar combines the two greatest aspects of the game, the 80s and violence, and create...a hawaiin shirt made out of explosives and guns and knives!!!
GIO GIO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE
This would come with a big poster of someone squinting, so that you can put it on the wall as a constant reminder of how darn weird you are.
STEEL BATTALION
As a sort of 'sorry' for costing about £250, this game would actually come free with a prosthetic arm. The extra limb would mean you'd finally be able to negotiate that huge controller. Oh, and it might help for the special SB one, too! Hah! Get it? Because the XBOX is big? Ahaha...I'll get me coat.
So, on that MS-bashing note, I end. Have you lot got any ideas?
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
Break the name down.
Tele-*****-Nics.
Make sense now?
Tele-*****-Nics.
Make sense now?
½pint wrote:
> And with Erotica Island, free teledildonics for all!!!
what... ?
> And with Erotica Island, free teledildonics for all!!!
what... ?
And with Erotica Island, free teledildonics for all!!!
Not quite mate, close though. Im actually a camp gardener called Lance, oh be nice! *waves limp wrist around*
So you're NOT a DFS salesman infiltrating SR towers to sell more plush leather, cheap yet high quality pieces of furniture?
The aforementioned sofa would be to hide behind, I forgot to add that bit in, what a crazy deluded idiot I am.
Sheer brilliance in a tin, only, without the tin.
Resident Evil - Includes free comfort blanket, or you get a DFS sofa for half price, sale this weekend only folks.
Resident Evil - Includes free comfort blanket, or you get a DFS sofa for half price, sale this weekend only folks.
Well, in an attempt to make The Getaway less of a spectacular failure than it is doomed to be (development life of 6 trillion years, development cost of 60 trillion pounds), Sony have decided to make t-shirts so when you pre-order the game, you get a t-shirt so everybody knows you own a game that has swearing and violence in. Nice. Elsewhere, in Japan (and from what I've heard, America and Europe too) when you pre-order the new Zelda game, you get a Gamecube conversion of the OoT, as well as never released Ura Zelda. The question is, what possible pack-ins could other upcoming games use?
BMX XXX
A free tub of vaseline and box of tissues. Hur hur.
BMX XXX (GBA)
A smaller free tub of vaseline and three tissues. Alternatively, a porn magazine because the makers feel sorry for you not being able to properly see what you bought the game for, on account of that pesky dark screen.
CHAMPIONSHIP MANAGER 4
Packed in with this PC title would be a pair of thick-rimmed black spectacles, complete with a prescription sheet to be filled out by your local optician. Why? Because if you buy this game you are obviously a spreadsheet loving nerd!
RAYMAN 3
This could come with a great big meat cleaver, or possibly a chainsaw so that you too can become a limbless freak, just like Rayman!
MORTAL KOMBAT: DEADLY ALLIANCE
This pack-in gift is quite complicated, and you have to put it together yourself. You get a fully operational (when assembled, of course) projectile harpoon. Just slit open your arm as shown in the instruction manual, slap it in and then whenever you shout out "get over here" a shiny bolt of bloody destruction will fly out of your palm!
TOMB RAIDER: ANGEL OF DARKNESS
Much like BMX XXX on GBA, the developers, feeling a bit guilty, would give you a free porn pamagzine.
METAL GEAR SOLID 2: SUBSTANCE (PS2)
A little like The Getaway, this one. Konami could give all pre-ordering customers of this a t-shirt...with "I AM A BIG FAT SUCKER" on the front. For obvious reasons.
SUPER MONKEY BALL 2
Free with this game, you would get a large, plastic hollow transparent ball. Theoretically speaking you could trap a monkey inside and roll it around in a maze, or atop a tilting platform. Sega would like the RSPCA to know that this is strictly not advised, although it is possible. Theoretically.
DEUS EX 2
This would be released in a number of different limited editions, which come free with real augmentations so that you can see in the dark, pick locks in seconds or stay underwater for long amounts of time! Also, they would come free with a crate so that if ever there's something hard that you can't do, just climb on/blow up/move the crate and the problem will always be solved!
GTA VICE CITY (PC)
Another piece of clothing here, as Rockstar combines the two greatest aspects of the game, the 80s and violence, and create...a hawaiin shirt made out of explosives and guns and knives!!!
GIO GIO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE
This would come with a big poster of someone squinting, so that you can put it on the wall as a constant reminder of how darn weird you are.
STEEL BATTALION
As a sort of 'sorry' for costing about £250, this game would actually come free with a prosthetic arm. The extra limb would mean you'd finally be able to negotiate that huge controller. Oh, and it might help for the special SB one, too! Hah! Get it? Because the XBOX is big? Ahaha...I'll get me coat.
So, on that MS-bashing note, I end. Have you lot got any ideas?
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
BMX XXX
A free tub of vaseline and box of tissues. Hur hur.
BMX XXX (GBA)
A smaller free tub of vaseline and three tissues. Alternatively, a porn magazine because the makers feel sorry for you not being able to properly see what you bought the game for, on account of that pesky dark screen.
CHAMPIONSHIP MANAGER 4
Packed in with this PC title would be a pair of thick-rimmed black spectacles, complete with a prescription sheet to be filled out by your local optician. Why? Because if you buy this game you are obviously a spreadsheet loving nerd!
RAYMAN 3
This could come with a great big meat cleaver, or possibly a chainsaw so that you too can become a limbless freak, just like Rayman!
MORTAL KOMBAT: DEADLY ALLIANCE
This pack-in gift is quite complicated, and you have to put it together yourself. You get a fully operational (when assembled, of course) projectile harpoon. Just slit open your arm as shown in the instruction manual, slap it in and then whenever you shout out "get over here" a shiny bolt of bloody destruction will fly out of your palm!
TOMB RAIDER: ANGEL OF DARKNESS
Much like BMX XXX on GBA, the developers, feeling a bit guilty, would give you a free porn pamagzine.
METAL GEAR SOLID 2: SUBSTANCE (PS2)
A little like The Getaway, this one. Konami could give all pre-ordering customers of this a t-shirt...with "I AM A BIG FAT SUCKER" on the front. For obvious reasons.
SUPER MONKEY BALL 2
Free with this game, you would get a large, plastic hollow transparent ball. Theoretically speaking you could trap a monkey inside and roll it around in a maze, or atop a tilting platform. Sega would like the RSPCA to know that this is strictly not advised, although it is possible. Theoretically.
DEUS EX 2
This would be released in a number of different limited editions, which come free with real augmentations so that you can see in the dark, pick locks in seconds or stay underwater for long amounts of time! Also, they would come free with a crate so that if ever there's something hard that you can't do, just climb on/blow up/move the crate and the problem will always be solved!
GTA VICE CITY (PC)
Another piece of clothing here, as Rockstar combines the two greatest aspects of the game, the 80s and violence, and create...a hawaiin shirt made out of explosives and guns and knives!!!
GIO GIO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE
This would come with a big poster of someone squinting, so that you can put it on the wall as a constant reminder of how darn weird you are.
STEEL BATTALION
As a sort of 'sorry' for costing about £250, this game would actually come free with a prosthetic arm. The extra limb would mean you'd finally be able to negotiate that huge controller. Oh, and it might help for the special SB one, too! Hah! Get it? Because the XBOX is big? Ahaha...I'll get me coat.
So, on that MS-bashing note, I end. Have you lot got any ideas?
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey