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... It isn't perfect like every other thing in existence. I have had some good ideas about how it could be made better, how it could remain safer and how it could become more popular. Tony, Snuggly, DW ...oh wait he's just a wannabie staffie ..well anyway listen up and listen up good because I mean business. No more deserted nights in the forums talking to yourself and no more junkies filling SR with filth. It's time for a change, time for ... a REVOLUTION!
SR's Chamber of Doom
Inspired by 'My Wicked Thoughts', I have thought of a solution for the badly behaved, clumsy posting SPAMMING newbies - lock them up! There should be a link where someone in charge of the forums for the night from SR has the willpower to chuck any of these dummies into 'The Chamber of Doom'. If no staffies can't look after the forums on the night/can't be bothered to do so then they should simply place a Notable(n00binator) of their choice to take charge, obviously a notable they can trust. This Notable would have the ability to do the following things in this chamber:
- Bash Newbie Hooligans over the head with an imaginary stick (preferably a baseball bat)
- Dress them up in Pink Rabbit Costumes
or my personal favourite
- Pour hydrochloric acid on all of them
This is how extreme these Newbie Hooligans have become so SR need to match this with extreme actions to put a ban on n00b hooliganism. Don't remain in denial, you know you want to!
After this, all newbies would have learnt their lesson and they would eventually grow and norture into respectable beings on the site, but there's still the huge probability of more creatures from the planet 'NOOB' immigrating into our peaceful society, that is why I thought of ...
...'The Test To See If You Are A Complete And Utter Plonker From NOOB'
The planet NOOB seems to be quite a popular habitat so before they are allowed into SR they should have to undergo a series of questions, not just testing if they can think of a sentence other than "Xbox rocks!", but also investigating if they can actually spell or even speak "standard english". This would surely cut down on the txt msgn lnguge and I'm sure the forums will be free of pumped up spammers who think the forums are all about fighting for which console is best. Oh and it would be a good idea to take down the "Console Wars - Who do you think is best?" bit because it's proven that these pea-brained creatures do not have the capability to think for themselves.
Other questions could be:
- Do you drink from a toilet?
- How quickly can you down a shot of cow dung?
- What kind of vindaloo do you have for breakfast?
If any of these 'trick questions' are answered, they immediately fail the test and are denied an SR VISA, and are tossed into a volcano for the good of Forumanity.
However, not all newbies are a pain in the backside, so we should still see a number of them flow through the test.
And last but not least ...
'The Slap Button'
Yes, every member's dream is to have a SLAP button. This would solve the problem of petty little arguments and the ganging up of certain bum chums in the forums. Anytime a new member registers into SR there should be a 'Select Your Slap Button' section where you can simply enter the slap button of your choice e.g. s, l, a, p etc etc But this would only privilege people who have purchased at least 10 items from SR so there wouldn't be any trigger-happy newbies slapping the living daylights out of every member.
How it works is that anytime a person says something profound or uneccessarily disturbing in any of the forums, any one of the privileged members can press their 'Slap Button' which then asks for the name of the member you want to punish, which then sends a high voltage of electricity from their computer to their chosen punter and then a huge hand comes out of nowhere and slaps them surprisingly hard across the face.
No doubt the RSPCC would be on your case eventually but it decrease the amount of petty arguing that goes on in the forums.
All in all, SR is a sound site with a few glitches, which would be fixed nicely my above ideas.
Maybe in the future
SR's Chamber of Doom
Inspired by 'My Wicked Thoughts', I have thought of a solution for the badly behaved, clumsy posting SPAMMING newbies - lock them up! There should be a link where someone in charge of the forums for the night from SR has the willpower to chuck any of these dummies into 'The Chamber of Doom'. If no staffies can't look after the forums on the night/can't be bothered to do so then they should simply place a Notable(n00binator) of their choice to take charge, obviously a notable they can trust. This Notable would have the ability to do the following things in this chamber:
- Bash Newbie Hooligans over the head with an imaginary stick (preferably a baseball bat)
- Dress them up in Pink Rabbit Costumes
or my personal favourite
- Pour hydrochloric acid on all of them
This is how extreme these Newbie Hooligans have become so SR need to match this with extreme actions to put a ban on n00b hooliganism. Don't remain in denial, you know you want to!
After this, all newbies would have learnt their lesson and they would eventually grow and norture into respectable beings on the site, but there's still the huge probability of more creatures from the planet 'NOOB' immigrating into our peaceful society, that is why I thought of ...
...'The Test To See If You Are A Complete And Utter Plonker From NOOB'
The planet NOOB seems to be quite a popular habitat so before they are allowed into SR they should have to undergo a series of questions, not just testing if they can think of a sentence other than "Xbox rocks!", but also investigating if they can actually spell or even speak "standard english". This would surely cut down on the txt msgn lnguge and I'm sure the forums will be free of pumped up spammers who think the forums are all about fighting for which console is best. Oh and it would be a good idea to take down the "Console Wars - Who do you think is best?" bit because it's proven that these pea-brained creatures do not have the capability to think for themselves.
Other questions could be:
- Do you drink from a toilet?
- How quickly can you down a shot of cow dung?
- What kind of vindaloo do you have for breakfast?
If any of these 'trick questions' are answered, they immediately fail the test and are denied an SR VISA, and are tossed into a volcano for the good of Forumanity.
However, not all newbies are a pain in the backside, so we should still see a number of them flow through the test.
And last but not least ...
'The Slap Button'
Yes, every member's dream is to have a SLAP button. This would solve the problem of petty little arguments and the ganging up of certain bum chums in the forums. Anytime a new member registers into SR there should be a 'Select Your Slap Button' section where you can simply enter the slap button of your choice e.g. s, l, a, p etc etc But this would only privilege people who have purchased at least 10 items from SR so there wouldn't be any trigger-happy newbies slapping the living daylights out of every member.
How it works is that anytime a person says something profound or uneccessarily disturbing in any of the forums, any one of the privileged members can press their 'Slap Button' which then asks for the name of the member you want to punish, which then sends a high voltage of electricity from their computer to their chosen punter and then a huge hand comes out of nowhere and slaps them surprisingly hard across the face.
No doubt the RSPCC would be on your case eventually but it decrease the amount of petty arguing that goes on in the forums.
All in all, SR is a sound site with a few glitches, which would be fixed nicely my above ideas.
Maybe in the future
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torticollis wrote:
> Smerc has my tagline? I'm popular? Hurru!
That sounds stupid.
> Smerc has my tagline? I'm popular? Hurru!
That sounds stupid.
†HÊ_MÅÐMÃÑ wrote:
> hmmmm... no impossible!
Errr...I agree. *Runs away*
> hmmmm... no impossible!
Errr...I agree. *Runs away*
Smerc has my tagline? I'm popular? Hurru!
DW wrote:
> Posh KiD wrote:
> Tony, Snuggly, DW ...oh wait he's just a wannabie staffie
>
> NEVER! One day kiddo, one day! MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAA
hmmmm... no impossible!
> Posh KiD wrote:
> Tony, Snuggly, DW ...oh wait he's just a wannabie staffie
>
> NEVER! One day kiddo, one day! MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAA
hmmmm... no impossible!
Posh KiD wrote:
Tony, Snuggly, DW ...oh wait he's just a wannabie staffie
NEVER! One day kiddo, one day! MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAA
Tony, Snuggly, DW ...oh wait he's just a wannabie staffie
NEVER! One day kiddo, one day! MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAA
Asher D wrote:
> Sheesh, whatever turns you on. I'm not here to pass judgement.
That is sick Asher! Men don't turn me on, never mind the Pink Rabbit Costumes.
I am terribly disappointed in you. Bow your head in shame.
> Sheesh, whatever turns you on. I'm not here to pass judgement.
That is sick Asher! Men don't turn me on, never mind the Pink Rabbit Costumes.
I am terribly disappointed in you. Bow your head in shame.
Asher D smells like the preserved mucus of a hippo
mmmm...the sweet aroma
mmmm...the sweet aroma
Good post.
Sheesh, whatever turns you on. I'm not here to pass judgement.
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